A Spark of Genius
by michaelsuave
Summary: Xander Harris was never called a genius, but after a different choice of Halloween costumes he is hit with a 'spark' of mad genius, the abilities that go with it, and flung into a far different world. Come and enjoy the madness. GirlGenius vers costume.
1. Chapter 1: Halloween

**Spark of Genius**

**Disclaimer: I don't own buffy verse, girl genius verse, DC comics or any of that, so give it a rest.**

**AN: Yet another Halloween adventure that sends Xander off into the multiverse. I'm going for fun, zany, with a side order of humorous adventure and possibly a love interest if the cards are right. I'd like to thank my beta reader pyrgus for giving this a second pair of eyes to look it over. He is going through my works and tidying them up a bit. This is for fun, so if you enjoy let me know and I'll continue it, if not, then this will be a one shot. No worries either way.**

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**Chapter 1: Transphased Marshmallow Gun of Doom**

Halloween was right around the corner and Xander Harris had high hopes that this Halloween would have been different than all of the past ones. Just once, Xander wanted to go to the party with the "cool kids" and not be relegated to being the 'king of the rejects' or 'one of the girls' in the Scooby gang. As usual though, Snyder had gone and ruined that chance. The one night of the year when the things that go bump would be laying low, and Snyder had to go and saddle Xander with a gang of rug-rats to take trick-or-treating. At least he would get some sugary goodness, not of the Twinkie level of sugary goodness, but still sugary goodness. All he needed now was a costume.

Walking into "Ethan's" costume store Xander entered just in time to hear a combined Willow and Buffy squeal as Buffy found the 'perfect costume to impress deadboy.'

"Bah, why she is interested in that rotten corpse I will never figure out," Xander said under his breath in disgust as he walked through the aisles towards the bargain bins. "He's old enough to be her great grandfather times a couple of greats." Xander finished.

"Now just to find a gun and I can get out of here without having to deal with Buffy and her dreams of her true love Captain Hairgel." Xander stated under his breath, looking around through empty barrels of toy swords and guns, none of the ones left really a fit for the set of fatigues that he had at home and only a kid's marshmallow gun.

"Perhaps I can help you." A British sounding voice spoke right behind Xander.

"Aaaaagh!" Xander spat, leaping around in a circle and assuming a crazy kungfu stance with hands in blocking position in front of his head. When nothing happened for a second, he lowered his hands to see a smirking man of Gile's age.

"A bit jumpy my dear boy, perhaps I can help you find something? My name is Ethan and this is my establishment." The brit stated, a casual smirk shining through at Xander.

"Um, no, I think I can handle it." Xander said self consciously. "I don't have that much money to spend and I need to run an errand for Giles as soon as I'm done here." He blabbed, doing a fair imitation of Willow-Babble.

"Giles? That wouldn't happen to be Rupert Giles would it?" The man stated, a weird smile forming on his face which set off Xander's internal Hellmouth sense.

"Um, yes." Xander said, slowly trying to move backwards and step away from the store owner.

"Well, for a friend of my old dear friend Rupert, I insist on giving you a discount. It's the least I could do to provide such an enjoyable evening for an acquaintance of my dear old friend." Ethan stated, his smile still pasted on his face.

Whew, Xander internally sighed as he stopped backing up. Apparently this guy knew Giles, and if he was a friend of Giles, then he should be ok. It wasn't as if anything dangerous could be associated with friendship with 'The Man in Tweed' that was the G-man.

Looking up at Ethan, Xander noticed a glass case behind the man. Perched on a display rack in the case was a small faux-gold pocket watch with a metal eye in the middle of it. It must have been some play jewelry for somebody who belonged to the Mason's or some other such group, but the pocket watch spurred a thought in Xander's head.

Quickly turning around to the bin behind him, Xander pulled out the red and gold marshmallow gun and then moved around Ethan to take the pocket-watch out of the glass case.

Looking up at Ethan with a smile Xander questioned, "How much for the gun and the pocket watch?"

Quirking a questioning eyebrow at Xander, Ethan asked, "How much do you have?"

"Um," Xander said. Digging in his pockets and turning them inside out, Xander was able to pull out twenty dollars in a mix of change, bills, and pocket lint.

"Twenty bucks." Xander said, cringing a bit as he didn't think that would be enough to purchase the pocket watch let alone the watch and the marshmallow gun.

"Sold!" Ethan stated with a grin, "Just do me a favor and don't tell Giles where you got the gifts from until tomorrow. The smile on your face is enough to make up the difference." The man stated continue to grin, or perhaps that was a smirk?

"Ok, that works." Xander said with a shrug as he handed over the cash and hurriedly left the store. He only had a couple of hours left to get his costume together before he had to meet up with Buffy and Willow to take the kids out candy gathering.

* * *

Ding-dong!

"Coming!" Joyce Summers yelled as she walked up to the door.

Opening the door she was surprised to see Xander standing in the doorway, a red and gold gun of some sort held in one hand, a black rubber tube trailed from the back of the gun and it attached to a fishbowl that seemed to be lit up with a couple blue light bulbs. The glowing fishbowl had a handle and was attached to the strap of an over the shoulder leather bag, and a couple packages of marshmallows could be seen poking out of the top of the bag. The rest of his costume seemed to be made up of a bloused shirt, brown leather pants and boots and a belt with assorted wrenches, hammers, a knife, and a pouch that jingled with the sounds of nuts and bolts. The strangest part of Xander's costume was the little pocket watch, with an eye on its case, that seemed to be attached to Xander's shoulder like a parrot; little arms and legs had been created and attached to the watch allowing it to stand on his shoulder.

Xander stood there, striking a 'heroic pose' in the doorway, a bright smile on his face.

"Ah my dear lady! I, Xander Heterodyne, grandson of Agatha Heterodyne, Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, Othar Tryggvassen Gentleman Adventurer, and Castle Heterodyne am here to protect the lovely ladies of Summer on our grand adventure and loot gathering escapade!" Xander said, switching from a pose with his gun in his left hand to assuming a pose as if he was an Adonis body builder and was pointing off into the distance.

Joyce Summers laughed at Xander's madcap actions and statements.

"I don't know exactly what that means or who you are supposed to be, but the girls will be down in a second." Joyce stated, stepping back so that Xander could enter the house.

Xander walked in, still smiling, and explained to Joyce who he was dressed as.

"It's this really interesting comic book about mad scientists who are geniuses that building things, making themselves stronger, or even twisting or breaking the rules of nature and science. It's a lot of fun!" Xander explained.

"I thought about being one of the evil mad scientists and wearing a shirt that said something like, 'Fools! I will Destroy you all… ask me how!' But then I've always been more of the hero type so figured I would be the adventuring mad genius scientist grandson of a bunch of the hero's in the story." Xander explained, sitting down to wait for the girls to join him.

"Wait, didn't you say you were also the grandson of the Castle though, what was that about?" Joyce questioned.

"What part of mad genius scientists didn't you understand? The story was always full of crazy things like Castles coming alive with dangerous and deranged minds or machines as well as crazy monsters or wacky ideas." Xander stated, opening a package of large marshmallows and loading them into his gun.

"And the marshmallows?" Joyce questioned as she loaded a dish of candy by the door in preparation for trick-or-treaters.

"Can't be an adventure with the spark of genius and not have a death-ray!" Xander stated, patting his gun lovingly as he finished loading it.

"This here is my 'Transphased Marshmallow Gun of Doom'." Xander said, giving Joyce his patented grin. "Though most of the characters in the adventures were extra strong and often had giant machines to help protect them, they almost always had some sort of wacky weapon. This here beauty will shoot flaming plasma marshmallows at near light speeds… well, that is it would if it really worked." Xander stated with a shrug just as Buffy walked flounced down the stairs.

Looking up at Buffy, Xander jumped up and bowed.

"Buffy! Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, I am in awe! I completely renounce spandex!"

Buffy curtsied, "Thank you, kind Sir. Um, no offense Xander, but who are you supposed to be?"

"Xander Heterodyne, Gentleman Adventurer!" Xander stated, striking a heroic pose.

"Um, is that supposed to mean something to me?" Buffy asked with a cute quirk of her head. She then turned her back on Xander and yelled for Willow to come down and show Xander her costume.

Xander's shoulders slumped. Apparently it was true, Buffy did see Xander as nothing more than 'one of the girls.

Xander sighed internally. Perhaps, he thought, it was time for him to give up pining over Buffy and move on to being interested in another girl?

His introspection was interrupted by the sound of Willow clunking down the stairs.

"Just wait until you see Willow's costume Xander, you are going to love it!" Buffy stated with a crafty smile on her face, well as crafty as bleach for brains Buffy Summers can get.

Willow rounded the corner of the steps and waved at Xander from under the sheets of her yearly ghost costume.

"And what a lovely boo to you too Willow." Xander stated before looking back at Buffy, "Alright, let's go. I'll explain the costume to you on the way to picking up the kids."

* * *

The kiddies were well into the nighttime candy gathering, and through liberal usage of puppy dog eyes, tears, and Xander patented strategies, the kids had never gathered so much candy before.

"Ok gang, on to Ms. Sutherby's house, always a good place as she gives out large sized candy bars." Xander stated as they walked down the driveway.

Just as they stepped onto the sidewalk, a magical pulse rippled out across Sunnydale, and the world changed.

Willow's body dropped like a puppet whose strings had been cut, falling in between a pair of hedges that divided the properties they were in front of. Where once had been a pack of kids was now a group of monsters, pirates, thieves, and even a little werewolf. The pack of monsters and marauders didn't care about candy in the bags by their feet; they now only wanted loot and blood. Thus it was that they turned as one to attack the only standing human figure in their midst.

"Ah HA! Have at thee monsters!" Xander Heterodyne stated, fluidly sidestepping the little werewolf while sliding inside of the stab of the pirate and backhanding the fang toothed monster that was attempting to leap for his neck.

"What fun! An Adventure!" Xander cackled, grabbing the pirate by the throat in one hand while at the same time looping his gun over his shoulder while he ducked and did a spinning kick, effectively sweeping the monster's legs out from under them and using the momentum of the spin to launch the pirate across the street and through the window of the house that was there.

The former pocket watch on Xander's shoulder jumped off of Xander in the midst of the brawl and pulled out a little miniature sledge hammer. The little 'clank', robotic pocket watch, then began to smash the toes, fingers and noses of the creatures surrounding Xander, adding to the general chaos surrounding the battle and causing several creatures to hop up and down on one foot at just the right time for Xander to pop them one in the face.

Monsters flew in all directions, soaring a good 25 to 50 feet in all direction, launched by the power of Xander's blows.

Xander got bored with playing with the pack of creeps and used the space around himself to situate his gun and charge it.

The gun gave an ominous hum as it fully charged, the ball of blue energy at the end of the black hose snapped and crackled with constrained fury as it was stopped from warping the reality around Xander by a thin layer of glass.

Just as Xander raised his Transphased Marshmallow Gun of Doom at one of the scurrying creatures, he was interrupted by a phantasm.

"Stop Xander! Don't hurt them! They're just kids who have been changed into monsters!" The Ghost of Willow shouted.

Pausing, Xander quirked his head to the side as he shouldered his gun, "I'm sorry mademoiselle, but did I know you during your life?"

Confused, Willow looked at Xander, "Of course you know me Xander, it's me, Willow. And what do you mean during my life?" Willow questioned.

"Um, I'm sorry mademoiselle, but I've never seen you before, as I'm sure I would have remembered such a ravishing beauty such as yourself." Xander said with a suave smile and a short bow.

"As for not being alive, perhaps a demonstration." Xander said, at which point he took a step right through Willow and out the other side, passing right through her.

"OhMyGod! I'mAGhost! ITurnedIntoMyCostume!" Willow babbled out quickly without taking a breath, and then she looked at Xander, "That means you turned into your costume too!"

Xander stepped back, "I'm sorry my lady, but you are mistaken, I am clearly Xander Heterodyne, Gentleman Adventurer and noted Spark. At your service." Xander stated with a bow.

Xander bowed just in time for a little hellion, who had been aiming to leap at the back of Xander's neck, to go flying over his back and fly right through Willow's incorporeal body.

Standing up, Xander snap-kicked through Willow's body and knocked the little hellion, formerly a trick-or-treater, out with a blow to its head.

"Ah yes, now where were we?" Xander said, looking Willow up and down.

Xander started pacing around Willow's body, occasionally poking a finger through her and making her flinch. He pulled a pencil and a pad of paper out of his pouches, which was surprising considering the pouches were way too small to house the two items. Taking down notes, he continued to circle her and comment. "My yes, a perfect specimen of Baron Von Gugenhiem's third theory of Astral-projection, a fully functional and somewhat communitive specter of a street walker!" Xander stated.

"Tell me, do you feel cold? Are you interested in rutabagas? Perhaps have an urge to seek out the pulp of kumquats? What do you miss the most about life? How did you die?" Xander rapid fired questions at Willow so quickly that she didn't have a chance to really comprehend what he was saying let alone answer the question.

"Xander, Stop! You turned into your…" Willow's comment was cut off by a scream in the distance.

Both of the young teens turned towards the sound of the feminine squeal.

"OhMyGod, ThatSoundedLikeBuffy!" Willow babbled before taking off down the street towards the sound of her screaming friend.

"Fear not Fair Ghost, for Xander Heterodyne, Gentleman Adventurer is here to save the day!" With that said, Xander took off running down the street, leaving an afterimage of himself he was moving so quickly; his little clank could be seen holding on to the back of his shirt, flying horizontally due to the speed of Xander's charge.

* * *

After 'saving' Lady Elizabeth from the 'demon,' which Xander realized was just a mechanical transportation apparatus Xander Heterodyne was torn on what to do next.

On one hand, he had to protect Lady Elizabeth and get the young screeching girl out of danger. Lady Elizabeth was obviously a noble of some sort, though not of one of the greater Spark families.

On the other hand, the streets around him were filled with the sound of screams and chaos, little monsters constantly running around and the occasional pirate happening by.

"When in doubt, Use Science!" Xander stated, with that he turned to his little clank.

"Ok little one, you know what to do. Seek, build, destroy and control. The usual mission and not necessarily in that order. Got it?" Xander ordered.

The little clank shouldered his little mallet on his shoulder like a musket and saluted Xander while making a slight musical tune of discordant tones.

Xander nodded, and opened one of the larger leather pouches on his utility belt. With that welcoming, the little clank launched into the air and landed in the pouch.

Xander stood there for a few second looking around, watching the surroundings for possible danger, while the sounds of construction started to come from within the confines of his leather pouch.

Bang Bang Bang! Swquack! Ting! Bam! BOOM! Crash! Quack!

The sounds of hammering, drills, saws, breaking glass, explosions, and even a duck's call could be heard to come from deep within the leather pouch, a small mushroom cloud of an explosion puffing out the flap for a second, before going quiet.

Just then the little clank jumped back out of the pouch and landed in front of Xander, giving him another salute.

With a shrill whistle, the flap of Xander's pouch again flapped open and three more miniature clanks of different shapes and combinations of limbs jumped out of his pouch, all before lining up and giving Xander a salute.

"At ease men." Xander stated.

"Toot!" came an angry note from one of the clanks.

"Oh, sorry, At ease men and women." Xander said with a smile.

"Toot toot." Came the note that Xander interpreted to mean 'thank you."

"Ok gang, go out and do your thing. I'm going to take these ladies to shelter while you deal with the monsters and do what you need to control the streets." Xander stated with a salute.

The four clanks all saluted, gave a "Tweet!" and sprinted off in the four cardinal directions.

Turning to the ghost and Lady Elizabeth, Xander stated, "Alright ladies, that should do it with the little problem of the town, now where can I take you to keep you safe?"

"Buffy's house! We can go to the Summer's house, that should be the closest place." Willow stated as she turned to lead the way.

Xander offered his arm to Lady Elizabeth, "This way my lady, and keep close please. We shall return you to your father as soon as we can safely do so."

"Thank you kind sir," Lady Elizabeth stated with a worried smile, clinging close to Xander and taking his arm. She could feel bulging muscles hidden under the clothes of this shirt. '_Perhaps this isn't so bad after all._' Lady Elizabeth thought, _'A brave Gentleman, obviously of noble birth.'_

With that, the two of them walked arm in arm down the street following the ghost of Willow, all the while Xander Heterodyne was smiling at the adventure and Lady Elizabeth was smiling at being with the big strong handsome man; even if she jumped or cringed every time a scream or explosion would go off in the distance.

* * *

Xander, Willow, and Lady Elizabeth had found shelter at the Summers' house and Xander was starting to have second thoughts about Lady Elizabeth due to her incessant whining and complaining about everything from Willow being a harlot to not being treated properly.

'_If I hear her say, 'wait until my father hears about this' one more time, I'm going to use her in my next experiment.'_ Xander thought, outwardly wincing at the shrill complaints coming from the supposed 'Lady.'

Just when he didn't think he could handle it any more, a scream issued from outside the front of the house.

"Get away from me Dog Boy!" Came a voice from out front.

Willow looked out the window and yelled, "Oh my, that's Cordelia! She's being chased by some sort of monster!"

That was all Xander needed to hear before he burst out the door, excited for the adventure and the break from Lady Elizabeth.

"Don't leave me!" Lady Elizabeth screeched, which Xander thoroughly ignored.

Xander charged out the door and across the lawn to intercept the seven foot tall monstrosity that looked like the cross between a St. Bernard and a komodo dragon lizard but walked on its knuckles like a gorilla.

"Ah Ha! Unhand the lady you wretch!" Xander yelled as he jumped in front of the monster and punched it in the face.

POW!

Apparently the monster was a lot stronger than it looked, because though Xander's blow made it stumble back a step, its backhanded blow to Xander's stomach curled Xander over the blow and sent him whizzing through the air to impact with to Oak tree in the center of the Summer's lawn; leaving a imprint of Xander's head in the trunk and ultimately cracking and toppling the tree on top of Xander.

The monster then growled and took a step towards Cordelia, only to have its attention again diverted as the fallen twenty five foot tree shifted, then moved as Xander popped up on top of the fallen trunk.

"Ah, a challenge!" Xander stated with a maniacal smile on his face.

"Eat Marshmallow Monster!" Xander yelled, seizing his gun from his side and flicking a switch on the side before pulling the trigger.

FWOOP!

A flaming marshmallow shot out of his gun like a tracer, leaving a flaming trail behind it as it shot across the yard and hit the monster right between the eyes.

The monster stumbled back and gave a pained growl as its eyes winced at the blow.

"Hmmm, guess I have to up the pressure feeder of the transphased dimensional fusion reactor." Xander said as he looked at his gun and the lack of effect on the scaly hairy monster.

"Oh well, if at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, and try again!" He yelled with a smile.

FWOOP! FWOOP! FWOOP! FWOOP! FWOOP! FWOOP! FWOOP! FWOOP!...

Xander rapid fired his Transphased Marshmallow Gun of Doom at the monster, sending a stream of flaming marshmallows at the monster, constantly knocking it back and covering the monster in flaming sugary puffed goodness.

RAWAARRRRGGG! The monster had had enough. It turned and ran screaming into the night as the sticky sugary confection on its body continued to burn like napalm.

Xander gave it a going away present. "FWOOP!" One shot of flaming marshmallow right in the monster's ass, just to hurry it on its way.

Turning towards the lady in the skin-tight catsuit, Xander admired the view as he hopped down from the tree.

"Fear not my lady, I have chased off the beast and you shall not have to worry anymore, for Xander Heterodyne, Gentleman Adventurer, is here to protect you." Xander stated with a smile as he struck a heroic pose.

"Whatever loser, let's get inside where it's safe." Cordelia stated with a huff as she stalked past Xander, without so much as a thank you, and proceeded towards the open door of the Summers' house.

* * *

"Cordelia! Ok, you have to listen to me, your name is Cordelia and you're not a cat." Willow stated frantically once Cordelia and Xander entered the house.

"Well Duh, I don't know what type of delusion you're living under, but leave me out of it loser." Cordelia stated in disgust, not realizing that anything was different about Willow; after all she had always ignored Willow at school, so this was no different.

"Ugh, my costume is ruined! There is no way that I'm going to get that costume deposit back." Cordelia disgustedly stated as she plucked at the rip in her costume and gazed over the dirty 'paw' prints that went with it.

Willow interrupted Cordelia's rant, "Cordelia, everybody has been turned into their costumes, we have to…" Only to be in turn interrupted by Lady Elizabeth's scream as Angel leapt through the still open front door of the Summer's house.

... FWOOP!

Angel's eyes crossed as he had all of one second to realize that he had a burning marshmallow lodged right between his eyes.

"Oh Shit!" Was the last words the ensouled member of the Scourge of Europe before he burst into a flaming conflagration and turned to dust in a POOF!

"OhMyGod Xander! YouDustedAngel!" Willow babbled out in shock.

"Hmmm, a Vampire." Xander stated nonchalantly as he kicked at the pile of dust on the floor of the Summer's house.

"Xander! What is that thing you are shooting!" Willow stated, still bothered at the dusting of the vampire.

Looking up, Xander shrugged, "It's my Transphased Marshmallow Gun of Doom." He stated, as if that explained everything.

Trying to catch her breath Willow questioned, "And why do you have a Transphased Marshmallow Gun of Doom?"

Xander Heterodyne quirked his head to the side and asked, "How else am I supposed to get my marshmallow's that perfect flaming and melted consistency for making S'Mores?"

Cordelia cut in, "How about with a campfire, loser?"

Xander waved off the suggestion, "Nah, that's boring and more prone to not getting that perfect flaming marshmallow that is just right for melting the chocolate before the S'More reaches your mouth."

Xander prefaced his statement by raising his gun over his shoulder.

"Fwoop!"

The flaming plasma marshmallow flew across the room, just in time for the door to the kitchen to open up and a fledgling vampire to run through the room; right in time for the marshmallow to hit the vampire right between the eyes.

"Oh Shit!" The fledgling stated, right before it too was dusted.

Xander looked over his shoulder, "Um, oops?" He stated as he turned back to Willow.

"Guess that tension screw on the hair trigger is a little loose." He stated, before ignoring the others in the room while he pulled out a spanner and started taking apart the trigger mounting of his gun.

It was at this time that Lady Elizabeth had enough. The combination of monsters out of her nightmares coming to life and being turned into flaming statutes, that and being ignored, inspired her to go running out of the house into the night. After all, it had always worked for controlling her father; whenever she wanted something that a tantrum wouldn't get her, running away from home seemed to work.

"Xander! You go watch after Buffy. I'm going to go get Giles and see if he can help us out." Willow stated as she ran through the wall of the house and towards the school and its librarian.

Xander merely shrugged and holstered his partially disassembled gun on his back before running out into the night after Buffy.

Cordelia merely huffed at being left behind. Rather than having to deal with a repeat with JoJo the dog faced boy, she decided she would stay in. Pulling out a nail file she took a seat on the Summer's couch and turned on Buffy's TV to while away the hours until sunrise.

'_Maybe I'll see if they have any ice-cream in the freezer?'_ She thought to herself as she flipped through the TV channels until she stopped to watch some horror movie called "Voodoo Moon."

* * *

Whack! Bam! Smack!

Xander twirled, lashing his fist out to break noses, he stomped toes, broke kneecaps and provide physical examples of the physics problem of boot plus ass equals velocity of body.

"Ooooofffff!" Xander wheezed as he caught a fist to his gut from a blonde vampire.

"Give it a rest kid, I'm going to eat you one way or the other," The vampire known as Spike stated as his minions attempted to dog pile Xander's body into the warehouse floor.

Xander continued to use his inhuman strength to battle the minions as he bit, clawed, and even used his partially disassembled marshmallow gun as a blunt weapon to take the head off of one fledgling vampire.

Lady Elizabeth, aka Buffy, squirmed in the grasp of Spike, but was unable to break his undead demon inspired strength.

"Come on love, stop squirm'n, it will only hurt for a bit." Spike said with a scoff, bending down to lick Buffy's neck right along the artery.

Just then, defying all odds, the pile of minions went flying in all directions in a seeming explosion of little demons, pirates, costume monsters come to life and fledgling vampires.

Xander stood up, muscles bulging, shirt ripped and hanging off him like some action hero from a bodice ripper ladies romance book or some B grade movie where the hero fights an army of darkness.

Wheezing, Xander stated, "Let her go." His hair was a mess, he had scratches and cuts running down his arms and he looked to be sporting a slight bruise under his left eye.

Spike looked at Xander with a bit of confusion that the boy was still standing, let alone had escaped the horde of minions thus far.

"Not likely ya bloody poofter. Yeah see here, I got yer girl by the throat, and one twitch of my hand and we get a nice snap crackle pop sound, ya hear?" Spike stated with a smirk.

"Besides, yer outnumbered, and its only a matter of time before we overwhelm ya." Spike chuffed.

A manic smile seemed to slowly come upon Xander's face. His eyes seemed to glow with the gleam of madness and things that were not meant to exist this side of the natural world. His smile gleamed, and it almost looked like the lighting in the warehouse changed as the surroundings seemed to dim and an unholy green light seemed to light up Xander's face; as if a flashlight was being held pointed up and placed at his chin.

"Outnumbered? Outnumbered you say? Wa Ha Ha ha HA ha ha!" Xander cackled, almost lost in insanity, "I'll see your Outnumbered and raise you a Surrounded." Xander laughed.

The hairs on Spike's neck stood on end at the cackle of Xander's laughter. Spike didn't know what this kid was hopped up on, but he knew something wasn't right as he stared at the laughing kid. His thoughts were interrupted by one of his fledgling vampires nudging him.

"Um, boss, um, boss, we've got a problem." The fledgling vamp whined.

"What is it now!..." Spike began with a snap only for his words to drift off into nothing as he looked over the shoulder of the fledgling and into the darkness at the edges of the warehouse.

Red eyes. Thousands and thousands and thousands of little red eyes were staring at him from the darkness.

They were on the floors in the shadows. They were in the crevices between boxes and shipping crates. They were on top of the crates and even in the darkness of the lattice works of the warehouse above his head. Hundreds of thousands of unblinking red eyes were staring at him from every nook, cranny and surface of the darkened warehouse.

Spike swung his attention back to the now smirking Xander, Spike's minions slowly edging away from the human who scared the piss out of them.

Xander sneered at Spike with a quirky dark grin for a second, before uttering one phrase.

"Kill."

A tidal wave of little one and two eyed creatures exploded out of the darkness. Charging across the floor with little hammers, drills, pinchers and claws they poured across the floor to follow their master's order. They jumped off of crates onto the monsters, they parachuted and free fell out off of the ceiling. They catapulted themselves, some even flying with little miniature rocket boots or propellers attached to their heads.

Apparently Xander Heterodyne's little clank had been busy as it lead a charge of miniature mayhem at the monsters who had previously outnumbered Xander and Buffy.

"Aggggghhhh!" Spike flung Buffy away from himself and screamed in agony as he experienced the death of a thousand cuts, miniature hammers, and monkey wrenches that attacked the bits and bob's of his body. One miniature clank, a portable clamp of some sort, had even attached its head to Spikes private bits, effectively rendering the Master Vampire incapable of thoughtful self defense.

Xander moved forward to catch Buffy before she hit the floor, and then carefully stood her up as he slowly walked towards the flailing, squirming and screaming Spike.

Reaching down to the floor, Xander picked up a spike of wooden shipping container that had been shattered off during the earlier battle.

Rearing back, Xander brought the sharp shard of wood down towards Spikes heart, only for several things to happen all at once.

A wave and a shudder seemed to hit the inhabitants of the warehouse all at the same time.

Xander stumbled forward, dusting Spike due to his forward momentum but clearly befuddled at the same time.

Buffy shook her head to clear the cobwebs, and threw the wig off of her head with disgust.

The last fledgling vampires in the warehouse were dusted, right before all of the clanks shuttered and fell apart into a rain of springs, nuts, bolts, screws and scrap metal.

The spell had ended, but the chaos was only beginning.

As Xander stumbled forward, the Transfusion self contained dimensional power plant for his former Marshmallow Gun of Doom hit the floor as Xander stumbled to the ground. What had once been an incredibly hard containment field for a dimensional rift was now a mere fishbowl that shattered on impact.

Xander only had a moment to give Buffy a wide eyed look from his place on the dusty floor as the knowledge from Xander Heterodyne told him that _'This was not of the good!'_

Xander only had time to give Buffy an, "Oh Shit!" Before there was a ZAAAAAAAP SNAAAAP POOOF! And Xander was gone in a blast of released blue colored energy.

Buffy was alone with crying children and a warehouse floor ankle deep in mechanical parts. She didn't know what had happened to Xander, but she was sure that Giles could figure it out and keep her from having to hurt her brain by thinking too hard.

As Buffy ushered the kids out of the warehouse, she was polite enough to turn off the lights, leaving the warehouse in complete darkness. She was totally unaware of the adventure and new life that Xander was about to begin.

* * *

**AN: So, new story. Xander is off to the Justice League Universe. I'm going to keep up with my other stories, but this is a plot bunny that I had to get out of my head. I wanted to do a multi-cross with Xander wearing a costume from the Girl Genius webcomic verse, but he will end up in another universe with some 'super' residents and perhaps some love interests along the way. For reference, you can find the Girl Genius webcomics at: www dot girlgeniusonline dot com .**

**Please let me know what you think. Should I continue? Are there too many Xander Halloween costume crossovers already? I already have several stories that I am working on and am behind in, so if you don't want me continue this story by all means let me know and this will be a one shot. Best wishes!**


	2. Chapter 2: The Physics of Motion

**Spark of Genius**

**Disclaimer: I don't own buffy verse, girl genius verse, DC comics or any of that, so give it a rest.**

**AN: Chapter 2 of Xander's mad scientist story in the Justice League verse. Let the fun and games begin! **

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**Chapter 1: The Physics of Motion**

'_Thought'_

"Speech"

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."  
- Albert Einstein

The full moon was out, and the night was quiet and all was peaceful in the industrial park and junkyard on the outskirts of a large city, that is, all was quiet and peaceful until a dimensional transport BOOM vibrated the scraps of equipment laying around the junk yard.

Boom!

"AAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

CRASH!

Xander Harris, Lady Luck's sometimes punching bag and all around swell guy, appeared in a flash of blue energy fifty feet in the air and seemed to hover there for a second; that is before he looked down and realized he was not on the ground. At which time the laws of gravity again came into play, and he plummeted said fifty feet to impact on the top of an old beat up Chevy Dotson; the impact of his body crushing the roof, shattering the windows and sending a spray of glass in the four cardinal directions around said Dotson.

"Ummmm, Ouch?" Xander hesitantly asked as he lay still for a few seconds, his body throbbing a bit from the beating he had received earlier that night.

Inside Xander's brain, Xander's consciousness did a roll call of body parts.

'_Legs and feet? Check. Arms and hands? Check. Head bone connected to the neck bone? Check._

It was at that point that Xander got that stupid song about bones connected to other bones stuck in his head, and also realized that all together, he felt pretty dang good. Too good in fact. Way too good when considering he had played punching bag to a bunch of super strong undead and monster types and been thrown through a tree and plummeted fifty feet to crush in a car.

"Wow, I feel pretty good." Xander said out loud, as he gave a goofy smile.

Apparently Lady Luck didn't like that answer, because as soon as he said that, a ZAP was heard, and another blue flash of light appeared fifty feet above his head.

Smack! The marshmallow gun appeared out of the blue flash of energy and fell, smacking him right in the nose.

"Oph, Dat phnucking Nurt!" Xander stated with a muffled sound as he grabbed his face with both hands as his eyes watered. Blinking his eyes to clear the tears and pinching his nose, he moved his nose from side to side to make sure that it wasn't broken. Xander was thankful not to hear or feel any nasty crunching or grinding sounds that would lead him to think his nose was broken.

He started to sit up, but then remembered that magic and he didn't get along very well.

"Oh Shit!" He cried, before fast unbuttoning his pants to make sure that his 'boys' were still ok.

"Phew, still all there." Xander said with a goofy grin. Just because Buffy and Willow considered him 'one of the girls,' didn't mean that he was 'one of the girls.'

It was then that he noticed he was bigger. Well, bigger there also, but everywhere in particular. His hands were larger and stronger, his biceps were larger, and his thighs looked like they should be stripped down, oiled up, and submitted in a Mr. Universe body builder contest.

Noticing the changes to his body, Xander freaked out for a second.

"Oh shit!" he stated as he looked down at himself, which was then followed by him stating another set of expletives when he tried to push himself upright and ended up punching his hand through the shattered steel roof of the Dotson.

"Shit! Shit, Mother BLEEPING BLEEPING BLEEP BLEEP on a motor cycle!" Apparently Xander could learn a thing or two from his father Tony, and cursing and how to mix a drink was the sum total of them.

Pulling his arm clear of the Dotson's roof, Xander carefully rolled off of the top of the car and surprisingly landed lightly on the balls of his toes. Looking down at himself and realizing he was also taller, he tried to remember what in the hell had happened to him.

Then it hit him, he went as Xander Heterodyne, the Gentleman Adventurer. Abnormally strong and resilient thanks to good genes and a few thousand biological upgrades and lab accidents that happened on a regular basis living with his family and friends; Xander Heterodyne was atypical for Sunnydale, that is if you were anybody other than the slayer. At least that was the background of the character, but it was still all there in his head, and apparently his body had been adapted to fit the character as well. Not only that, but his mind had also apparently received an 'upgrade.'

It was all there in his brain. Besides the annoying song about the hip bone connected to the thigh bone was the science, the mathematics, the sheer crazy mad spark of genius that often stepped over the boundaries of the natural and entered the realm of the downright creepy and insane. The type of genius that states, "Fools, I will destroy you All! Ask me how!" Or who go about creating man eating bunny rabbits who quote the IRS tax code just because they thought Easter was too boring with its usual cadre of chocolate and egg giving bunny rabbits. Sure, the Xander Heterodyne that Xander had dressed up wasn't the evil genius type; he was more like the Knight in shiny mechanized fusion powered armor type. It was all there in his head.

"Oh man, what have I gotten myself into this time?" Xander stated as he shook his head and started to look around.

It was then that he saw all of the knick knacks and scrapped devices that lay around him. It was also then that a new side of his manic personality showed itself. Now Xander held a new love, a love that was on the level of the all holy Twinkie, but now it was also a love for devices that made things go Boom, Zap, or did incredibly crazy, mad, very fun and in no way boring things.

"Ohhhh, Shiny!" Xander stated as he really saw what was around him.

Some junkyards have washers, dryers and refrigerators in them. Some junkyards even have broken planes, trains, automobiles and other miscellaneous every day household machines. But the junkyard on the outskirts of Metropolis had the debris from the thousands of battles between super powered heroes and super powered villains; with the scraps of a few alien invasions thrown in to set the mood just right.

Before Xander knew what he was doing, he clasped his hands together like he was praying, and took a dive, head first, into the biggest pile of broken down robots, ray-guns, and Winnebagos that he could see.

Somehow, defying all rational thought and the laws of nature, Xander was able to move through the scrap metal and devices like he was swimming. Every now and then, his head would pop up, only for him to show an even bigger smile than before, then he would dive beneath the surface of the debris again.

After a bit of clanking, clunking, and sounds of a power saw revving, Xander hopped out of pile of goodies that surrounded him.

Shaking his head to get the distraction out of his thoughts, he realized that this would take some getting used to.

It was then that it hit him. _'Where the hell am I? Certainly not anywhere near the Hellmouth.'_ Xander thought. Looking at half crushed hull of what looked to be a flying saucer. "There is no way even Sunnydale Syndrome could cover up an alien invasion." He said out loud as he tried to see where, when, or better yet in what alternate universe he was in.

Just then his stomach grumbled.

'_First, I have to find out where they heck I am and get some food. I'm starving.'_ Xander thought to himself.

Just then he heard a ZAP! Above him, and quickly ducked to protect himself.

Thud!

A heavily laden pillowcase fell just in front of Xander.

Slowly, peeking out from between his fingers, Xander realized that it was his pillow case of candy from the night of trick-or-treating.

"Score!" Xander shouted, pumping his fist up and down, and then looking around to make sure that nobody had seen him being a dork; and then feeling like a dork because he was checking around a junkyard to make sure that nobody saw him acting like a dork.

Shaking his head, he thought, _'Well, at least I have the food thing for a bit. Sweet Sugary Sustenance, how I love thee.'_ He thought as he grabbed a couple of candy bars and ate them quickly while he continued to look around.

'_Perhaps Lady Luck doesn't hate me so much?'_ Xander thought as he finished off the candy bar and dug through his pillow case for another one.

In the not so far distance, Xander could make out the lights of a city with tall skyscrapers. Eating another Snickers bar and taking a shot of pixy stick, Xander tied his pillow case to his belt and started walking through the aisles of the junkyard towards the city lights.

Figuring that he wasn't going fast enough, Xander started jogging to see how far he could get before he tired out; exercises beyond running from Vampires or bullies hadn't been a big priority in his Sunnydale life.

After a few minutes of jogging, Xander realized that he wasn't tiring at all. In fact, his breathing hadn't even increased.

'_Huh? Guess I got something else from the heterodyne costume.'_ Xander thought to himself with a smile, _'Well, let's see what the new body can do.'_

With that, Xander sped up to a run, and then a sprint, and then he went even faster then he knew was humanly possible.

He absolutely zipped down the aisles of the junkyard, and just in front of him was the fast approaching gates of the junkyard. But rather than slowing down, he smiled and again picked up even more speed until the land around him almost seemed to blur. Then, just when it looked like he wouldn't have enough room to come to a stop before he hit the fence, he focused on the gate, prepared to jump, and forgot to look where his feet where running.

Xander hit the pipe that was sticking out of the ground at full speed. Three things then happened in quick succession.

First, the pipe snapped, but not before imparting just enough force to send Xander flying through the air head first at the gate made of chain link fence. Second, Xander flew through said gate, parting the fence like a hot knife through butter as the links seemed to explode into hundreds of little flying shards of steel, scratching his arms and hands that were curled up over his head and protecting him on instinct. Thirdly, gravity again kicked in as Xander's velocity along the "Y" axis (vertical) rapidly decreased, while his velocity along the "X" axis (horizontal) continued at almost the same speed at which he had been running. This horizontal speed continued until Xander hit the pavement of the road leading out of the Junk Yard, at which time he became a one man carnival act in a slap stick comedy; the type where somebody rolls head over heels with the occasional bounce and skip back into the air only to thud to the ground again to continue rolling.

THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD SKIP…. (Air time*) THUD THUD THUD SKIP… (More air time*) Thud Thud Thud, roll roll roll Thunk!

Xander continued his forward rolling and thudding along the ground, only ending with him sprawled upside down against a tree where the road curved to go down the hill.

Xander laid there blinking up at the stars and the moon for a second before he was finally able to come up with something to say.

"Ok, now that hurt." Xander said, as he slowly maneuvered his legs to the side so that they were no longer propped straight up against the trunk of the tree.

"Owwww." He winced as he slowly pushed himself up, noticing that his pillowcase was now ripped and devoid of candy.

"Why! Why must you taunt me so!" Xander shouted at the sky, shaking his fist in anger at where he imagined Lady Luck to be laughing down at him.

Again feeling like a dork. Xander shook his head, and then took off jogging towards the city that appeared about a mile away. He was back to square one as far as no idea of where he was, or how to get food.

* * *

Xander had jogged through the industrial areas on the outskirts of the city until they started to give way to office buildings. Jogging through the night, Xander passed through the office buildings and headed towards the best lit and busy parts of the city; the part with all of the skyscrapers.

Xander eventually slowed to a walk as he started to enter an area of town where people were going about their business, going out to eat, to shows, and generally enjoying themselves. Unfortunately, not everybody in the city apparently enjoyed peaceful activities.

As Xander walked past a dark alley, two six and a half foot imposing figures with smashed swollen noses, bad teeth, and more muscle than brains stepped out in front of him.

"Give us yer money, and we won't hurt ya… too much." One of the thugs stated as the other started to move to the side to stop Xander from retreating.

Xander stepped back, really not interested in getting in a fight with these two guys who would make Larry and his buddies back in Sunnydale look like midget pigmies; the really small and cuddly kind.

"Guys, I don't have any money." Xander stated as he raised his hands showing them that he didn't have anything. "And if I had, I'd gladly share it with you. After the night I've had, I'm not really interested in a fight." Xander continued.

"Ah, well. Dat's too bad." The first one said as the second finished circling behind Xander. "Because we are interested in a fight." The first one continued.

It was as if the world around him slowed down. Xander simply knew that the thug behind him had swung for his head, and with preternatural grace and agility Xander reached behind himself and grabbed the arm. Using the physics of motion and inertia, Xander's brain instinctively calculated out the exact power to speed ratios needed, he then leveraged the swinging thug's arm over his shoulder and propelled the man over his back feet first into the first thug's face.

A shower of blood flew up the first thug's face as apparently it was possible to break the thug's nose more than it had already been broken. The two thugs went down in a pile of tangled limbs as the first thug's head bounced off the concrete of the sidewalk. As time seemed to speed back up to normal speed, Xander found himself in mid step and kick as he blasted the second thug in the ribs with his boot; lifting the second thug a good 5 feet into the air before the man's body belly flopped to the ground below. The second thug had enough time to puke out the remnants of his dinner before he two fell unconscious to the ground next to the first low life.

"Whoa!" Xander stated wide eyed. "Where did that come from?" He said, a little hysterically. Looking around, he noticed that he was the only person on the street.

Taking a second to calm himself, he looked around again, and then proceeded to drag both of the thug's bodies into the darkness of the alley.

Checking that both men still had a pulse, Xander rifled through their pockets for anything of value; deciding that turn about was fair play. After all, he'd done the same thing to vampires, only he wasn't going to put a stake through these guys's heart after he had rolled them for their cash and watches.

Finding about a thousand American dollars in small denominations on the two of them, Xander convinced himself that he was doing a community service by putting these two wannabe gangsters out of business for a while.

Walking out of the mouth of the Alley, Xander looked left and right, before again proceeding in the same direction as he had been before he had been so rudely interrupted.

Xander finally made it to a busier area of town where he could see what looked like tourists taking pictures of the street performers and people going about their way between bars, restaurants, and movie theaters.

Just as he was walking by a crowd of tourists, it happened.

"Look! Up there!" One of the tourists shouted and pointed as they all raised their camera towards the sky where the lights of the buildings were illuminating something.

"It's only a bird." One man said in disgust, obviously not wanting to be there.

"No, it's a plane," a woman stated.

"No! It's Superman!" A young teenage girl shouted and pointed.

Sure enough, hovering over the large city square, and right in front of a building with a large golden planet on top of it, was Superman."

Xander's jaw dropped, and then his brain flipped the switch to Willow-Babble mode.

"OhMyGod! OhMyGod! OhMyGod! I'mInAComicBook! OhMyGod! OhMyGod! It'sSuperman!" He stated, starting to hyperventilate as he looked up at one of the hero of him and his boyhood friend Jesse. He continued babbling a series of "OhMyGod's" as he stumbled back and leaned against a building to catch his breath.

"Think Xander, Think!" He said to himself. "If Superman is here, then we are definitely far away from the Hellmouth and everything Sunnydaleish. So in some ways, that's good." He tried to psych himself as he said it. "In other ways, that's very bad." He thought as he started to slump down to the sidewalk. _'What about Willow? What about Buffy? What about the G-man? Who will bring them the donuts or new yellow crayons?'_ Xander thought sadly, looking down.

But then he looked up at Superman, who was floating there silently, looking down at the people in the square below. It was then that he remembered the 'inner' monologues that Superman would have in the comic books, about being lonely, about not fitting in, but about fighting for something good.

'_Yeah, maybe that's what I should be like? Yeah, maybe this is my chance?' _Xander thought as a small smile fought to come across his face.

'_I have this strength and speed.'_ He thought to himself_, 'this brain power too. Things I never had before.'_

'_I don't have to be the sidekick.' _Xander realized with a start._ 'I don't have to be the guy who cowers and waits for Buffy to save the day.'_ Xander thought as the smile slowly crept across his face.

'_Plus, I know this universe.' _Xander through with a smile, _'I don't know what if any of the series of comics or cartoons this universe follows, if any, but I do know a ton of secrets about the heroes and villains, their strengths, their weaknesses, and the occasional skeleton in the closet.'_ Xander thought for a second as the smile now threatened to split his face.

Looking up, Xander saw Superman floating there for a second, before taking off in a blue and red streak as Superman flew off to another part of the city.

'_Wow! I can be a hero too.'_ Xander thought as he stood up and pushed himself away from the wall.

"With great power comes great responsibilities." Xander said to himself as he started to walk down the street again. '_Ok, so that's Spiderman and the marvel universe, not DC.' _Xander confessed to himself, _'But the meaning of the words still holds true.'_ He nodded to himself as he thought.

"So what to do next?" He asked his reflection in a clothing store. The clothes he was wearing were torn and shredded on the shoulder and on his sleeves. His knee looked like it had been worn through from skipping down the street, but he noted that the skin beneath the tear marks was now clean and without any blemish, bruising, scrapes or cuts.

'_Wow, a healing factor also.'_ Xander thought as he smiled at himself.

Pulling out the cash that he had scrapped together from his interactions with the two thugs, he looked up at the store window again. Perhaps the suit in the window wasn't what he needed yet, but the nice pair of jeans, a nice t-shirt and a leather jacket would foot the bill for now.

"First clothes, and then a meal and a place to sleep." He said to himself as he pushed his way into the store. His smile and his muscular frame garnered the attention of the attention of the young sales lady, even if his torn clothes looked a bit lacking.

Leaving the store a half hour later, wearing new clothes and with a few new outfits in a backpack that had been on sale Xander strolled down the street looking for a meal.

Searching for a place to eat, he noticed that a couple of attractive girls and women were checking him out as he proceeded down the street, he smiled to himself and thought, _'Yep, I think I could get used to this new life.'_

As he entered an Italian restaurant he thought, _'Maybe Lady Luck doesn't hate me that much after all.'_

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**AN: Another chapter and it's good to be in the justice league verse finally. Xander has a bunch of things to overcome but it should be fun to watch him go through it; well, fun for us, I'm sure his run in's with murphy, lady luck, and his allergic reactions to magic will be fun to watch. Oh Joy! Well, now that I've actually given you some things to read about, do you think I should keep going, or let this fade off into the sunset? Thanks for reading. Cheers!**


	3. Chapter 3: It's Alive!

**Spark of Genius**

**Disclaimer: I don't own buffy verse, girl genius verse, DC comics or any of that, so give it a rest.**

**AN: I think I'm going to continue this story. This is the plot bunny part that was itching in my head to get out while I was sleeping last night.**** Hope you enjoy the fun.**

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_'Thought'_

"Speech"

**Chapter 3: It's Alive!**

******Dr. Frederick Frankenstein**: Are you ready?  
**Igor**: Are you sure this is how they did it?  
**Dr. Frederick Frankenstein**: Yes! It's all written down in the notes! Now tie off the kites and hurry down as fast as you can!  
**Igor**: What's the hurry?  
******Dr. Frederick Frankenstein**: There's a possibility of electrocution! Do you understand?  
[_no answer, shouts_]  
**Dr. Frederick Frankenstein**: I said, there is a possibility of electrocution! Do you understand?  
**Igor**: [_suddenly appears next to Fredrick_] I understand. I understand. Why are you shouting

~Young Frankenstein, the movie.

Xander was rudely awakened by the sound of his alarm clock, which was apparently the sound of an air-horn.

BWAAAAWAAAAAAAA!

"Ahhhh!" Xander screamed as he jumped in the seat he had fallen asleep in, causing him to rapidly flail his arms as with his feet on the table in front of him he lost his balance and flipped backwards to smack his head on the concrete floor of the junkyard warehouse.

"Owwww…" Xander groaned as he wincingly looked at the ceiling and wonder why the hell he had an alarm clock that used an air-horn.

Realizing that the concrete hadn't hurt that much, he chose to lie on the cool cement floor and wonder at why he had set an alarm.

'_Hmmm, that's strange; I don't remember having an alarm clock when I went to sleep last night.' _Xander thought as he counted the rivets in the steel roof above him and realized that they were a prime number. He was distracted by how much this new brain power and physical abilities had changed him. Before his mind could wander to what Willow and the rest of the gang were doing and how much he missed them, a sound interrupted his thinking.

"TooT!" a musical note tooted beside him.

Rolling his head to the side so that he could see what made the sound, Xander came eyes to 'eye' with the little pocket watch clank. A little clank that was holding an air-horn assembly salvaged from a big-rig truck.

Closing his eyes and putting his hand over his eyes, Xander again looked to check if a miniature robot was standing there blinking and waving at him while its other hand held an air-horn.

'_Maybe I did hit my head harder than I thought?'_ Xander questioned to himself.

"Toot Toot, TOOT!" the little clank musically whistled.

"Yes yes, I'm awake already! Good morning to you too." Xander replied without thinking as he started to pick himself up off the floor, only to hesitate and look at the clank, wondering how in the world he had understood what the little robot had said.

"Toot Toot." The clank said with a wave.

"Um, you're welcome for creating you." Xander replied with a raised eyebrow to the little clank's thanks. "Um, just one question, when did I create you?"

"Toot, TOOT, toot toot." The clank replied as it chucked the air-horn assembly over its shoulder, were it flew for a few feet before skidding across the floor.

"Ok, so I made you while I was asleep." Xander said as he fully stood up and rubbed his eyes to get the sleep out of them, "Guess I picked up 'Mother' Heterodyne's little sleep building habit; that could be trouble if it is anything like the comic." Xander continued to mumble to himself as he shook his head and looked at the space around him.

Xander turned back towards the table and saw piles of half created clanks and bits and pieces of mechanical clockworks scattered around the table, interspersed with the doggy-bags of Italian food that he had taken home from the restaurant the night before.

Turning back to the clank Xander asked, "Ok, so I created you, what's your name then little guy?"

"Toot!" The clank replied, hands on its 'hips.'

"Oh, oh, sorry, you're a 'girl.' I understand, you don't have a name yet. Ok, I'll just call you "Toots" or you can go by Number 1, or first mate if you prefer?" Xander said, hands raised to deflect the ire of the little 'female' clank; apparently he couldn't escape somewhat bossy females, even in this new dimension.

"Toot toot." The clank replied.

"Ok, now that that is out of the way. First, it looks like we are going to be camping out here at the warehouse until I can figure out what to do." Xander said as he righted the chair and sat down in it; tilting it back and kicking his feet back up on the table.

Steepling his fingers, he looked out over the piles of truck and tractor-trailer parts that littered the warehouse floor, as ideas started to percolate up from the depths of his brain. His thoughts were slightly jarred away from the insanely genius very cool plans that were going on in his head when he remembered that he didn't know if he could stay at the junk yard.

"Hey toots, have you seen any sign of other humans around here in the junk yard?" Xander asked as he looked down at the clank, which was now climbing the leg of the table to get to the top of it.

"Toot toot."

"Well, besides all of the human junk that is piled up around here." Xander said as he shook his head at the clank's literal interpretation of the question.

The clank finished shimmying up the table leg and hopped to the top of the tabletop.

"Toot, toot, TOOT toOT Toot." The clank responded, followed by it picking up a screwdriver and a hammer and starting to pond and tinker with the clockwork mechanism inside of a brass box that lay on the table.

"Oh really?" Xander asked in reply, "So the sign on the front gate of the junkyard says that this place is full and that it is abandoned until further notice?" Xander answered back.

"Toot!"

"Alright alright, I know that is what you just said, but I'm still getting a hang of being able to understand everything you say." Xander said as he held his hands up in defense. "I can't believe that I built such a defensive little thing like you…" Xander said under his breath as he looked around.

"Hmmm, defensive…" Xander said to himself as he looked around the warehouse floor. "It looks like we can live her for a while, but we need to make sure that we are going to stay safe and comfortable." Xander stated out loud as he thought of all of the supervillians, aliens, thieves and other bad things that existed in the DC comics he had read as a kid.

"Toot, Toot." The clank stated, drawing Xander's attention to what it was doing on the table.

Bang, Crack! Ting!

Putting the final touches on the latching door on the back of the brass box, the little clank hit it with a hammer. In response, little arms and legs pushed their way out of the box like telescoping antenna, ending in little clawed hands and feet. Rolling itself over and into a standing position, the box turned towards Xander, and a little white eye opened and blinked at him.

"Honk Honk!" The new little clank honked at him and waved.

Xander merely blinked back at the little clank for a second, before a slightly crazy smile came upon his face.

"Ok you two, I get it. Now, Go forth and multiply!" He said, a wacky light seeming to shine from his face.

"Oh, and you are number two." Xander said, pointing to the little brass box on legs.

"Honk Honk!" "Toot!" Both clanks sounded, as they saluted Xander.

Both clanks then proceeded to pick up a hammer in one hand, a wrench or screwdriver in the other, and lept off the table into the piles of truck parts and broken machinery. The sounds of banging, small explosions, power saws, and ratchets being turned began to come from the piles of parts, as Xander merely smiled a slightly crazy smile.

Cracking his fingers, Xander hopped out of the chair and began to look around for something for him to work on. His eyes finally came to rest on the hulking, slightly rusty, form of what looked to be the crew cab and exposed engine compartment of a big flat faced semi-truck.

Memories flashed through his head, happy memories of times spent with his buddy Jesse, happy memories that were now twisted and brought to life with the possibilities of Science!

"WaHA HA HAHA HA!" Xander started to cackle manically as suddenly a wrench and a roll of duct-tape seemed to magically appear in his hands. Snatching a pair of goggles off of an acetylene gas tank welding rig that was sitting next to the truck, Xander dived into his new project.

After all, every teenaged boy needs to have a set of wheels to impress the girls with…

* * *

The sun was just setting, but the sky was black due to the storm clouds that had rolled in over Metropolis, effectively blocking out any of the pretty colors of the departing daylight. At the junkyard on the hill overlooking metropolis, the warehouse was looking and sounding decidedly different than when Xander had first arrived.

First of all there was sound of the maniacal laughter that issued up, with the occasional giggle of insane mirth. This was punctuated by the sound of hammering, the screeching of tortured metal, and the myriad of hooting, honking, tooting, tweeting and other musical sounds that seemed to come in a cacophony that would make a sane person back away slowly.

Yes, the sounds issuing from inside the building were not of the sane, more than likely the sounds would lead somebody to deem the inhabitants of the warehouse to be "a few fries short of a happy meal." And then there were the kites.

Blue ones, purple ones, red ones, some with spots, some with stripes, some with stripes and spots, and even one with Bill Clinton's face painted on it were flying from lightning rods that dotted the top of the junkyard's warehouse; kites that were flying just in time for the oncoming thunderstorm.

Booom! Boom Boom! Thunder!

Lightning split the sky as the storm moved from over Metropolis and encroached over the metal strewn junk yard. The junkyard and all of its superconductive metals were like a magnet to the lightning from the storm, and the kites were the highest point in the junkyard.

CRASHHH! ZAAAAPPPPP! Zap Boom! CRASH ZAAAAPPP! CRASH! BOOOM BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The lightning ripped out the sky, striking down the kites and sending their flaming forms fluttering to the ground; the kite with the picture of Richard Nixon seeming to scream "Oh NO Mr. Bill!" as it was ignited by the blasts. The dark sky was continually illuminated by the lightning as the storm expended its fury on the kites and the metal warehouse on the hill.

In a matter of thirty minutes, the storm passed as it had seemed to expend what energy it had while over the junkyard; the flaming remains of the kites were soon extinguished by the gentle rain as the winds quieted and slowly gusted by.

Then the laughter began.

"Bwa ha ha… Wa Ha Ha HA HA HA HA HA BWA HA HA HA HA!" The sounds of Xander's insane laughter cut through the sound of the drizzle on the junkyards many surfaces.

" IT LIVES! IT'S ALIVE! WA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Xander continued to laugh.

"Number Five's Alive!" Interrupted a high pitched electronic voice. Followed quickly by the sound of a boot thudding off of something metal.

Thud!

"Shut up you, you totally messed up my mad genius groove." Xander's voice pouted, "Go patrol the junkyard and make sure that nothing bothers us, ok?"

"A-Okay Xander Sir Buddy Old Pal!" the voice of Number Five stated as the robot headed out of the warehouse to patrol the junkyard.

"I'll see that a couple more of you are built soon, to share the load and for fun." Xander's voice trailed out of the warehouse doors as the sentient, non-pacifist, combat robot began its patrol route through the drizzle.

"Okey Dokey Smokey," Number Five replied with a wave as it closed the doors to the warehouse.

"Ok," Xander's voice stated, "Now back to you big guy. Let's get that power source of yours all buttoned up, and then we will go for a drive."

The sound of a revving engine of some large machine was all the reply that Xander received.

* * *

The week had progressed quickly as Xander kept his hands busy in fixing up the warehouse and trying to keep himself from thinking about returning to his own universe and how much he missed Willow and the rest of the Scooby gang. In the meantime he had bigger problems to deal with, namely he was quickly running out of the money that he had 'requisitioned' from the thugs. He needed more money and soon, as he was apparently a growing boy based on the amount of food he found himself eating every day. He noted that he seemed to be getting stronger, not needing to use a jack to pick up the front of the semi truck that he had worked on, and Xander had been able to fix up the warehouse to have a sleeping and eating area as well as a working area; namely, the work area was any flat surface not currently being used for food or sleep. The junkyard had been surprisingly helpful in providing salvageable kitchen equipment and even a washer and a dryer, but he needed to purchase a mattress for his metal bed frame and he needed more food. The little clanks continued to 'go forth and multiply' while at the same time being helpful in finding workable materials for his machines, his defenses, as well as finding scrap metals that were worth some serious money.

Abandoned boxes of x-rays were processed for their silver. Gold was scrapped from computer and tv components, and some rather rare mixes of platinum and other heavy metals were piled up in a corner of the warehouse for Xander to exchange for cash in the city. The little clanks had even found a large red ruby that had apparently been used as a focal point for an alien weapon, but Xander figured that it could be used for a death ray or a Twinkie processing machine, something worth more to him than merely its cash value.

That lead to him being where he currently was, trying to find a parking spot in Metropolis, a parking spot big enough for his large blue and red semi-truck crew cab; without the trailer.

"Parallel parking this big guy is a bitch!" Xander griped as he finally was able to back the semi into a loading zone in front of a store that was labeled "The Gold Exchange" with big pictures of golden doubloons and gold ingots painted on the glass windows; windows that were behind big steel bars.

Stepping down out of the truck, Xander made sure to lock up as he headed towards the door to the store.

"Bwa-beep, chirp chirp. Warning, protected by Scooby" The alarm system on his semi truck stated as Xander pressed the button on his key chain.

Smirking to himself, he opened the door of the store to the sound of its little bell's chiming… just as a display case was launched out into the street through the glass window that was less than a foot from his head.

Leaping back out the door to the street, Xander did a controlled roll across the sidewalk before popping up into a defensive stance.

A metal foot shaped like a garbage can lid stepped out of the hole in the front of "The Gold Exchange," followed by a boxy metal leg and the body of a cobbled together robot. The robot had red optical sensors for eyes and colored lights on its square chest, making it look like a 7 foot tall version of a 1950's toy mechanical robot, with flashing eye action. The robot carried a steal safe in its two clawed hands; the safe looking like it had been previously bolted to the ground before the robot decided to steal it.

Following behind the robot was a short rotund man, with curly hair, beady eyes, and reflective round glasses on, dressed in a foppish multicolored outfit. The man was carrying a bag that clinked and sounded like coins.

"Um, let me guess." Xander said out loud as memories of Superman comic books flashed through his head, "You're Toyman?" Xander finished, quirking his head at the little man.

"Why yes my good lad. Why yes I am, shall we play?" Toyman stated with a slight British accent, obviously not right in the head.

An evil grin spread across Xander's face and a weird glint came to his eyes.

"Sure! By the way, nice robot you got there… But mine's bigger." Xander finished as he took a couple steps back towards his truck.

Toyman merely looked at Xander for a second confused, he was about to say something when some catchy music started to blast from speakers on Xander's truck and it began to transform.

The shadow above Xander and Toyman grew, and grew, and grew, until a hulking thirty foot red and blue robot stood looking down at Toyman and his thieving robot.

"Optimus, would you please deal with this robot and detain Toyman." Xander commanded as he looked up and over his shoulder at his robot.

Toyman was speechless for a second, and unfortunately for Toyman that was all the time it took for Optimus to plant his fist straight through the thieving robot's chest and to retract it; pulling out a mass of wires from the smaller robot's chest cavity and causing it to keel over from lack of power.

"Eeep!" Toyman screeched as he pulled out a pogo stick and attempted to jump on it to make an escape.

Such was not to be, for Optimus reached out and snagged Toyman by the back of his coat, hoisting the little round man into the air and causing Toyman to drop his 'escape pogo stick.'

"What would you like to do with him Xander Prime?" Optimus's booming voice questioned Xander.

Xander smiled up at his boyhood dream come to life, "Let's just wrap him up with some of these parking meters, I'm sure Superman will be here sooner rather than later, and I don't really want to have to deal with him this early in my stay in this world." The sound of the alarm from the store punctuated Xander's statement, as apparently the owner had finally worked up the nerve to press the alarm button.

Optimus nodded and did just that, pulling a couple of parking meters out of the ground and using them to securely tie Toyman in loops of crumpled steel. Then, at Xander's pointing towards a street lamp, Optimus fastened Toyman upside down to the lamp of the streetlight.

Xander walked under the dangling Toyman, whose face was starting to turn red.

"Now normally the hero would make some sort of witty comment about how you should have played better with others, or how my toys are better than yours. Personally, I'm partial to 'My robot can beat up your robot.'" Xander said with a smirk before he took a look around.

"However, since I don't want to wait around for Superman, I'm going to hightail it out of here, so have fun in your time out." Xander stated with a smirk and a jaunty salute before he walked back to Optimus.

Xander nodded to Optimus and the large robot transformed back into his truck form. Xander, in turn, hopped up into the drivers spot before starting up the truck and pulling out onto the street to drive away.

As Xander turned the corner from the block that The Gold Exchange was on, he pressed a button and little spray nozzles popped out all over the frame of the truck and started changing the color of the truck from its blue and red paint job to a black and silver paint job. Pressing another button the flat front of truck cab telescoped out and extended to change the truck's form to look like a Peterbilt truck.

Poking his head out the window, Xander looked at the randomly selected paint job and shook his head in disgust.

"Going to have to work on that randomizer program, otherwise people are going to start thinking that Batman upgraded to a semi-truck and decided to visit Metropolis." Xander said with a bit of disgust.

Xander smiled as he saw a blue and red streak fly quickly down the street above him. Xander drove farther into downtown Metropolis, looking for another store to exchange his gold and silver for cash.

Behind him at The Gold Exchange Xander left a confused Superman and a Toyman who kept humming to himself about 'robots in disguise.'

* * *

**AN: There you go, short but fun times. Xander is getting himself set up and then we shall see what he does next. We shall see what Xander left behind in the Sunnydale verse in the next chapter, as well as some more fun and crazy times with our newest mad scientist.**

**Poll: Should Xander attempt to go back to the Sunnydale verse**

**Or **

**Should he stay in the Justice League Verse? **

**Let me know!**


	4. Chapter 4: Magic Hates Me

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own buffy verse, girl genius verse, DC comics or any of that, so give it a rest.

**AN:** **Thanks for the votes and notes in response to the poll, and the winner is…. Not going to tell you, don't want to spoil it. ;-) Don't get all huffy, the story will continue on and many zany madcap adventures will happen.**

**AN2: Ok, warning. There is a love scene in this chapter, and though it is a bit detailed I like to think that I keep it from getting crude. It isn't anywhere compared to some of the other stories that I have read on this site, so it should be ok. But please just skip that part if reading about adults enjoying each other offends you, ok?**

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* * *

**

'_Thought_'

"Speech"

**Chapter 4: Magic Hates Me**

"All power is the same. Magic. Physical strength. Economic strength. Political strength. It all serves a single purpose-it gives its possessor a broader spectrum of choices. It creates alternative courses of action."  
— Jim Butcher (Proven Guilty)

Willow was crying, and Xander couldn't comfort her. He watched, trying to reach her, but every time he tried to run to her she seemed to be pulled away from him as if the ground was a giant grassy treadmill that wouldn't let him go anywhere. He tried leaping, using his new super strength to propel him to her side, but he seemed to rebound off of an invisible wall of some sort. Willows sobbing tore at his heart, her anguished cries continued as he tried to call out to her, yet she couldn't hear him.

Then, just as she was laying a yellow crayon down on a grave that bore his name, Xander woke up.

Xander shot straight up into a sitting position, sweat dripping down his body and nuts and bolts that had been lying around him on the sheets fell to the floor.

Looking around wild eyed, it took a second for Xander's consciousness to remember exactly where he was and what was happening around him. Sighing to himself, Xander figured that it was best that he get his day started.

Xander swung his feet off the bed and onto the floor, standing up in one fluid motion. Or at least he attempted to, as he had approximately one second to realize that he had hopped on top of a skateboard before said skateboard shot out from under his feet, propelling him into the air and onto his side.

Laying upside down on the floor, shaking his head to clear the little clanks that seemed to be doing loops in his vision and around his head, Xander thought to himself, _'Some mornings it just doesn't do to get out of bed.'_

Turning his head to the side so that he could make sure he didn't step on any errant skateboards, ball bearings, marbles, or banana peels Xander stood up and again shook his head.

'_I really hope this isn't an omen about how the day is going to go.'_ Xander thought to himself as he stood by his bed and stretched his arms into the air, causing a few cracking and popping sounds to come from his back.

It was then that the contents of his dream came back to mind.

"I miss Willow." Xander said with a sigh, finally admitting and putting to words the feelings that had been haunting him in the back of his head since he had arrived in this different dimension.

He started moving around his living area, searching for a semi-clean shirt and his shoes that he had taken off the previous night.

A crash like broken glass sounded in the distance of his warehouse lab area, and it was the impetus for a brain storm.

"Wait." Xander said to himself, a little voice in the back of his head telling him that talking to oneself was the first sign of insanity. He crushed the little voice of reason in the back of his head, and continued talking to himself.

"The fish bowl transdimensional fusion energy module! I can remake it and go home!" Xander stated to himself with a whoop of joy, a smile forming on his face as he forget his search for a shirt in his rush to head towards his lab.

Diving through the blast shield separating his sleeping area from his lab the sounds of small explosions, tinkling glass, buzz saws, screeching metal, and a duck's call began to issue up from his work area.

* * *

He was almost finished, he just needed to borrow some power from the Metropolis power grid to kick start the dimensional flux power core. That is why he was standing in the sewers deep underneath Lexcorp towers; about to plug two jumper cables into the high powered nodes on the towers' mainlines. Apparently Lex Luthor had spared no expense in making sure that all of his high powered technology had all of the electricity that it needed.

"Hmmm," Xander stated to himself, again talking out loud, "There is a high probability that this could blow out all power to the entire Lexcorp system." He stated, hesitating for a second to attach the negative power cable.

"Oh well, Lex is a villain anyway, so I guess I can call this my good deed for the day." Xander said with a smile and a shrug as he connected the last jumper cable.

The effect of attaching the second cable was immediate.

Electricity zapped and twisted around the cable in Xander's hands, blasting him across the sewer pipe and leaving a pair of smoking shoes behind where the electricity had traveled through him and grounded itself.

Pushing himself out of the indentation where he had been imbedded in the wall, a slightly smoking and now crazy haired Xander stood and cracked his back a couple of times, shook his head, and then walked back towards his shoes and the now glowing blue orb of transdimensional energies.

Twitching a little bit and smiling manically, Xander yelled, "It worked! Eureka! HA ha! I can't believe it worked!"

Xander continued stating his chain of thoughts, "Now I just need to break it while in contact with the energy and my gear and I'll be home!" He trilled to himself as he disconnected the still sparking jumper cables and dropped them on the ground, picked up the orb and started walking down the sewer tunnel that would lead him out and back towards the junkyard.

Behind him, left unattended by his distraction at completing his 'ticket home,' the transformer jumper cables had landed next to each other and sparks were flying from one cable to the other.

* * *

High above on the 100th floor of Lexcorp towers, Lex Luthor was finishing up his computer virus that was supposed to take over the mechanized mind of one of Superman's greatest nemesis, Brainiac.

All Lex had to do was hit the enter key and his long line of data, the lifetime results of several 'deceased' scientists, would be saved; leaving him with complete control of the Trojan virus and the ability to control Brainiac and the knowledge that the sentient computer had collected.

Before his hand could transcend the distance it took from moving from mouse to enter key, the lights in the office, the coffee pot, the stock tickertape machine, the TV screens showing the news from around the world, the mechanized robot bodyguard in its changing station in the corner, and the computer on his desk all sparked, sparked, and then sparked again before blowing up in a conflagration of flames and electrical discharge.

"Bah!" Lex screamed as he dived out of the way of the flying glass from his computer screen and the lights on his ceiling.

"Damn it!" Lex screamed as he pounded his desk. _'All of that data lost! All of the scientists who put it together are dead now, and I have nothing to show for it!' _Lex Luthor thought furiously, as his blood pressure spiked and his face started to go red with anger.

Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, the robot charging station in the corner of his office sparked again, and ignited in flames that exploded towards the ceiling, setting off the battery controlled fire alarms.

The sprinklers in Lex's office all came on at the same time, drenching the bald supervillain who was already shaking in pent up fury.

"Damn you Superman! Damn you to hell!" Lex Luthor screamed and shook his fist towards the ceiling, once again blaming all of his life's problems on the superhero.

In another part of the city, Clark Kent sneezed, just as Jimmy was walking by Clark's desk.

"He he, guess somebody is thinking about you Clark." Jimmy said in a good natured way as he carried his camera on the way towards the Daily Planet's dark room.

"Hmmm, I guess so Jimmy." Clark said with a smile, as he pushed his glasses up his nose and obliviously went back to typing up his latest article.

* * *

Xander made it back to his lab and set the glowing orb on a pedestal that rested on a trunk full of his toys and trinkets he had made. Several of the little clanks had jumped up onto his shoulders and head, or laid a claw on Xander in preparation for him to break the energy orb.

Raising a ball hammer above the orb, Xander prepared to crush it when a voice behind interrupted.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you McGurk." A slightly high-pitched voice stated.

At the same time as the voice stated that, the hammer in Xander's hand turned into a rubber chicken.

"No!" Xander cried out in agony without looking at where the voice came from. He was so close to going home to Willow. With that, he punched his fist at the orb.

Only to have a whoopee cushion appear in the space between his fist and the transdimensional energy orb. A whoopee cushion that let off a little fart sound with the force of Xander's blow before expanding in size until it rapidly formed the shape of a small elephant, expanding with enough force to send Xander and the clanks around him flying around the room and rolling across the floor.

Jumping up into a defensive stance, Xander saw a little floating man with a large head, small body, and a tiny flowered hat on his head. Xander's blood ran cold, as he knew exactly who was stopping him from going home.

There floated Mr. Mxyzptlk, the fifth dimensional traveler who had been such a pain in the ass to Superman in several of the comic books that Xander had read.

Number 5 and Number 6, the defense robots Xander had created and brought to life, charged the little floating man, their laser weapons dropping into place and charging.

"Hasta La Viesta, Baby!" Number 5 stated as he attacked the floating midget, only for both Number 5 and Number 6 to disappear in a poof of smoke.

When the smoke cleared, a squawk was heard, and two platypuses scurried away from Mr. Mxyzptlk to hide behind Xander's legs.

"Stand down guys, we can't beat him." Xander stated, knowing that the magic that the Fifth dimension dweller controlled was more than Xander and his gang of robots could currently fight.

Mr. Mxyzptlk smiled, and a small floating chair appeared behind him, which the midget sat in.

"I like you Xander Harris, your much more fun than Superman." Mr. Mxyzptlk stated.

Xander noticeably gulped.

Mr. Mxyzptlk continued, "No no, don't worry. I just wanted to tell you a few rules to the game that is going to be played here. You see, I'm not really here. The rules were set and I'm not allowed to play with Superman any more, or his control anybody from his dimension. However, that doesn't stop me from keeping you from transcending the boundaries from this dimension to another." The midget continued with a smirk, a glass of strawberry milk appearing in both his and Xander's hand suddenly.

Xander politely placed the milk to the side, knowing that it wouldn't be safe to drink anything that the magical mad midget gave him.

"Besides, I just saved your life." Mr. Mxyzptlk stated with a shrug.

This caught Xander's attention enough to speak up.

"What do you mean you just saved my life?" Xander asked, raising an eyebrow and finding that he was strangely comfortable holding a conversation with a floating midget with a huge head; after all, the rest of his life had been odd, why not this?

"Yep, saved your life I did. That orb wouldn't have sent you home if you broke it. That there orb's next destination is a hell dimension known as Hell, Gehenna, Hades, Hel, Jahannam, Sheol, Tartarus and an all around bad place to live; no waterfront property or bananas for as far as the eye can see." Mr. Mxyzptlk continued with a wave of his hand.

Xander suddenly found himself sitting in a lazy-boy recliner chair in the middle of a snowstorm, yet for some reason the snowflakes weren't cold and strangely tasted of marmalade.

Xander shook his head that his first reaction was to try and taste the snow, and then he looked up at the midget to ask the question that meant the most to him.

"Then how am I supposed to get home to my dimension?" Xander asked, brushing the marmalade snowflakes off his shoulder and absentmindedly petting the fur of the platypuses that were now resting on his lap.

"You don't!" Mr. Mxyzptlk stated with a smile. "You're going to stay here stuck in this dimension and have enough fun for the two of us, entertain me until I get bored with you." The midget's smile definitely took on a bit of a malicious smirk to it.

"Just because I can't control you, doesn't mean I can't keep you stuck in this measly third dimensional space." Mr. Mxyzptlk stated, making it look like it disgusted him to talk about something that was limited to only three dimensions.

Suddenly, the room was once again as it was, and Xander found himself standing over the orb with the hammer about to strike the energy ball.

Leaping back from the orb, Xander threw the hammer away from himself.

"Wow. Did that really happen?" Xander said to himself as he looked around his workshop and its gathered robots and clanks.

"He he he he, have fun McGurk." The voice of Mr. Mxyzptlk ushered out of the air from the now intangible midget.

Looking at the orb, Xander cringed a bit at what he had almost done.

"Ok gang, change of plans. No going home today." Xander stated, a bit sadly as he gazed at the orb. "Everybody back to work." He finished, as his shoulders slumped.

Walking up to the orb, Xander gazed at its swirling blue energies for a second before picking it up and putting into a padded steal chest that he had made. Setting the biometric locks on the chest, Xander slowly slid the box under his bed.

He would have to spend some timing thinking on how to get around the midget, but for now he knew he was stuck in the Justice League dimension; for better or worse.

Looking up and around the workspace, the little robot's going off to finish their chores and tinkering, Optimus helping to hold a wing of a plane off the ground so that Number 5 could use its laser to cut off the jet engine, Xander sighed.

'_I've got to go for a walk.´_ Xander thought as he grabbed his leather jacket and headed out the door with his hands in his pockets. _'Maybe an evening walk into Metropolis will give me something to distract me from the pain of today's failure.' _He thought moodily as he walked out of the warehouse and towards the city whose lights were just starting to turn on in the evening dusk.

* * *

Xander had been walking for an hour through the streets of downtown Metropolis before he found himself in front of a theater and its marquee posters.

TONIGHT ONLY! THE FABULOUS MAGICAL ZATANNA!

The posters showed an attractive woman with a top hat and shortcut feminine tuxedo, wearing fishnet stockings and tall black stiletto heels.

The picture made Xander smile. Back in the day, when Jesse and he had been the terrible duo, back in the simpler days when they could run around Sunnydale pretending to be Superheroes, Jesse and Xander had taken part in the oft repeated comic book debates.

They had debated the classics, who would win in a fight between Superman and Batman? Or, if you could be a superhero, who would you be? If you had to be a supervillain, who would you be? And of course, if you could have any one of the female superheroes as a girlfriend, who would it be? Which one of the super-chicks was the hottest?

The last two debate topics had gained more focus once both boys hit puberty and began to realize that even though the women in the comic books were only alive in ink, they were damn hot.

Sure, Jesse and he had always known that the figures in their comics were imaginary, but here was one of the gorgeous superwomen come to life for him.

Smiling, Xander slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. Walking up to the ticket window, Xander exchanged a fifty dollar bill for a ticket for a seat at one of the 'dinner and a show' dining tables; the show was to start in fifteen minutes.

Walking through the red carpeted halls of the theater, Xander made his way into the auditorium of the theater/dinner-club and found a seat in the back; habit and history had taught him that it wasn't wise to allow his back to be open for attack, even in as innocuous of a location as a theater.

Taking off his coat and putting it on his chair, he had just enough time to place his order for his meal and order a coke before the lights in the theater dimmed and a spotlight ignited a beam of light onto a single empty spot on the stage.

All was quiet in the audience, and just before the people could begin to mutter about the lack of a show or light in the dining area, flames exploded from the stage, smoke flew from the ground, and lightning exploded from the ceiling, all congealing into a single figure in the middle of the stage.

It was Zatanna, hat tipped low to cover her eyes, right leg slightly crooked forward on the tip of her toe, and the other planted underneath her as she stood with her right arm extended, balancing on a black magician's cane.

Peeking out from under her hat with a smile, the crowd gave her a thundering ovation, clapping their hands and whistling at what was promising to be a great show.

Smiling, Zatanna spun her cane in her right hand until it looked like a helicopter's blades, or a spinning umbrella, and out of the spinning flew dozens of doves.

Doves that flew out over the audience and turned into roses. From her left arm and out of her sleeve shot cards, every one of them a queen of hearts that shot out and impaled itself on the stem of a rose before either could fall onto the audience. Every rose pierced card fell perfectly into the lap of an audience member, just like magic.

The only inkling that Xander had that Magic still didn't like him was that his rose hit him in the head. But that foreshadowing was soon ignored as the show continued.

There were card tricks, and illusions, transfigurations and transportations of items. Rabbits spilled out of the beautiful Magician's hat, rabbits that played leap frog with each other in acrobatic synchronized shows; only to all neatly line up and leap back into her hat.

The crowd jumped to their feet in a standing ovation at the final feat of magical control.

As the last rabbit jumped into her hat, the lights came up on the audience and Zatanna addressed the crowd; the lights inspiring the people in the audience to sit and listen.

"Now comes time for you to get involved in the act." She said with a saucy wink and a smile. "I'm looking for a volunteer." She stated as she looked out over the audience.

For some reason, this statement caused a cold sweat to form on the back of Xander's neck.

Zatanna looked out over the audience, and her attention was immediately drawn to the handsome dark haired man sitting alone in the back. She noted that without his jacket that settled on his chair that his short sleeved shirt was bulging with muscles, but not the type that was due to muscle-building drugs, more like the muscular frame of superman. However, unlike superman this man didn't look like a boy scout, there was a certain sense of danger and a hint of darkness that seemed to emanated from the stranger, kind of a cross between Superman's good looks and Batman's bad-boy image.

'_Yum_' Zatanna thought to herself as she subconsciously licked her lips.

Whispering a sentence backwards under her breath, a spotlight at the top of the theater's roof turned and shined right on Xander.

"We have a volunteer!" Zatanna said with a gleam in her eye.

Xander's shot wide, and he quickly looked to the left, and then the right, realizing that he was the only person in the audience spot lighted. Quickly shaking his head 'NO' he waved his hands in front of himself, hoping she would read his meaning that he didn't want to do it.

'_Ahhh, he's shy too! How cute.'_ Zatanna thought as her smirk got larger.

"How about a round of applause for our brave volunteer?" Zatanna stated, as she held her hand out to Xander with a twinkle in her eye.

The crowd all turned and focused on Xander and clapped for him, many of them cheering for him and telling him to get up there.

Hesitantly, and then with the resignation of a man walking to his proverbial death, Xander squared his shoulders and gave Zatanna a slight glare, but his smile told her that he wasn't too angry at having to come up on stage.

Xander walked to the front of the stage, and just to play with Zatanna, he smirked, slightly flexed his legs, and jumped the six feet up onto the stage rather than use the stairs at the sides of the auditorium.

Xander landed next to Zatanna with a bit of a smirk on his face and returned her earlier twinkly eyed smile.

"Hi." Xander said, before waving at the audience. Only Zatanna really understood the feat that it was to leap higher than six feet without any effort. She was taken aback for a second, but being the consummate show-woman, she got back into the swing of her act quickly.

Turning to Xander, she asked, "So hi there big guy, what's your name?" She said with a smile, hoping to turn the tables and make him blush.

Xander gave her a goofy smile and played along, merely answering that his name was Xander.

"So Xander, have you enjoyed watching the show so far?" Zatanna asked.

"I've enjoyed watching you, and the show is good also." Xander stated, a bit startled at his own flirtatious words and not really understanding where this confidence and lady skills was coming from.

'_Perhaps it's more of that Heterodyne knowledge._' He thought to himself, not letting it slip that he didn't really know what he was doing when it came to flirting with the attractive magician. _'Still, it sure beats my reaction when I first ran into Buffy on her first day of school, now that was awkward.' _He continued thinking, realizing that his prior statement had made Zatanna blush.

Zatanna flirted back a bit, and continued her conversation with Xander in front of the audience.

"Why thank you kind sir." She stated with a partial bow before again standing up to her full height, realizing that even with her four inch heels on that Xander was taller than her and the top hat she wore.

"How would you like to help me do some magic." Zatanna asked Xander.

"Um, well honestly, I really wouldn't like to help you." Xander stated, and then hurried to continue when he saw Zatanna look change to that of Willow when she was about to put on her 'determined face'.

Xander held up his hands defensively, "Wait. It's not like I don't want to help you, it's just, well, it's just that Magic hates me." Xander stated with a chagrined apologetic smile.

Zatanna looked at Xander for a second, taken aback at his statement. Then with a slightly flirtatious wink she answered.

"Aw, don't be that way; I'm pretty sure that my magic likes you." With that a multicolored stream of scarves flew out of her sleeve and seemed to caress Xander's face as if it was alive before disappearing back up her sleeve.

Between her wink that accompanied her statement and the actions of the scarf, Xander was now blushing red, enough so that the audience could pick it up and laughed at the interaction between the performer and her prey, um, that is 'volunteer.'

"Ok, so who wants to see him help me with some magic?" Zatanna addressed the crowd, waiving her arms up and encouraging the audience to cheer and clap for Xander to participate.

Once again, Xander bowed to the peer pressure from the audience. _'After all, it's not like anything bad could happen.' _Xander thought to himself as he continued to blush, and then nodded at Zatanna and the crowd that he would participate.

The crowd wolf whistled and cheered at him being a good sport and helping out in the act.

"Ok, so first of all we have to get some preliminaries out of the way." Zatanna stated as she addressed both Xander and the audience.

"You and I have never met before, correct?" She stated with a smile.

Xander smirked back at her, "I'm pretty sure I'd remember it if I did," he stated with a smirk and visibly looked her up and down.

It was now Zatanna's turn to blush, but she quickly played along and blew a kiss at him and continued as she walked up and down the front of the stage.

"He is not my employee, and you've all seen how hard it was to get him to come up here, didn't you?" She stated, winking and joking with the crowd, who cheered at her question.

"Alright then," Zatanna stated as she took her top hat off of her head and used her cane to tap the tip of it. She then stuck her hand inside of the hat and pulled out a long, large, crimson cape that she finished pulling out of the hat with a flourish and a spin around her body; effectively showing the audience that it was a simple heavy silk cloth, large enough to fully cover a person.

"Alright, so who wants to see me make Xander disappear and then reappear again?" Zatanna asked the audience with a big smile.

The crowd cheered wildly.

"What about you Xander, what do you think about being involved in my magical disappearing act?" Zatanna stated with a flirtatious quirk of her hip.

"Um, honestly, I think it's a bad idea. For the record, magic really does hate me." Xander said while looking away with a sigh, as if remembering things from the past before looking up at her with a smile.

"However you're the expert, so if you say it'll be ok, then I'll trust you." Xander stated, somewhat confidently to Zatanna.

Zatanna gave him a blazing smile back, her eyes and her smile seemed to lighten the room and it made Xander gulp seeing how attractive she was in that moment.

"Ok, here we go then. Nothing on this side of the cloth," She stated as she showed one side of the red silk cloth to the audience, "And nothing on this side of the cloth." She finished as she showed the audience the other side of the cloth.

With that Zatanna threw the cloth over Xander's head, covering him fully from head to toe and spilling out to cover the stage around Xander in a circumference of a few feet.

"Now, with a little flourish and a wave of my magic wand…" She finished casting a spell under her breath just as she tapped her cane on where Xander's head was under the cloth.

The cloth fell to the ground as Xander, who had been underneath it, really did disappear.

Picking up the cloth, Zatanna twirled it around her like a matador, showing the audience the Xander was nowhere to be found.

A standing ovation was her reply from the audience as they cheered and whistled at her display of 'illusion.'

Smiling, she gave a little bow before once again holding the cloth up, this time supporting the weight of the silken cape on her cane, making it appear to be a curtain.

"Now, with a bit of a flourish we shall make Xander reappear exactly as he was before!" She stated, again saying a little spell under her breath.

Then, as if moving the cloth out of the way of a charging bull, she swept the cloth curtaining off part of the audience, revealing Xander.

The audience was quiet for a few seconds, and the chirp of a cricket could be heard to come from high in one of the balconies of the theater.

Xander felt a draft, and the audience burst out in laughter.

Zatanna quickly looked at Xander to see why the audience was laughing, and her eyes grew as large as saucers as there, standing right where he was supposed to was Xander.

The only real problem was that he was naked.

Zatanna was too stunned to act, '_Xander was a hunk!'_ Her thoughts furiously told her as she looked up and down at his naked stunning glory. Muscles that rippled and definition that highlighted his masculinity made up his entire body. _'And his penis! Merlin that sausage is large!'_ She thought furiously as the blood rushed to her head.

Xander looked out at the audience, trying to figure out why they were laughing. The whole disappearing act had seemed to only take a blink of an eye from when she had covered him with the cloth until when he had reappeared.

Looking around, realizing that he suddenly felt a breeze where no breeze had the right to be, Xander looked down.

"Magic! How I hate thee!" Xander uttered, shaking his fist at the air as he realized he was totally naked. Then realizing that he was standing in front of an entire hooting, wolf whistling and cheering audience he quickly looked around for something to clothe himself with.

Looking at Zatanna, Xander saw that she was staring at him open mouthed and not reacting, as quick as a wink he grabbed the red silk cloth and quickly wrapped it around his lower body.

Blushing, Xander looked around for where he could escape to, at which point he noticed a stage hand furiously ushering him to come back stage where they could hopefully find some clothes for him; at least that is how he interpreted the frantic waving at him that the man wearing all black was doing.

Xander shuffled off stage, attempting not to trip on the long flowing red silken clothe, accompanied by the myriad cat calls from the ladies of the audience and the laughing of the men.

Zatanna shook her head and came out of her stupor as she watched Xander shuffle off of the stage. Realizing that there was no way to top that, she figured she should follow the advice of her old teachers and leave it on a 'high' note.

"Thank you everybody! That's all for tonight. Have a great night!" She shouted as she bowed, and then raised her hands; disappearing in a flash of fire and smoke.

* * *

"I am SOoo sorry Xander, I have done that trick a hundred times before and I've never had it come out like that." Zatanna stated as she self consciously shifted her weight from one foot to the other and bit her lip, her eyes shining her sincerity.

Xander tried to be cross with her, he really did. But it was those puppy dog eyes mixed with that biting of the lip that only let him think of how cute she was.

"Well," Xander stated hesitantly for a second before blowing out a breath, "It's ok, I forgive you. Magic really does hate me." He said with a goofy smile, patented over years of use on both Willow and Buffy.

"Besides, it's not every day that a guy can get naked with such a gorgeous woman like yourself." Xander continued, his smile turning into a bit of a smirk.

Funnily enough, it was Zatanna who was blushing now, even though Xander still stood there on the curtained off side of the stage, using both of his hands to hold up the red cloth so that he didn't expose himself again.

She looked down shyly, before looking up at him and into his eyes and smiling. "Ok, thanks for forgiving me. But the least you can do is let me make it up to you, perhaps dinner or at least getting some clothes for you to wear home." The last part was said with a wink that made him in turn blush a bit.

Xander smiled back and thought for a second before answering, "Well, my jacket is out at my table, but I could really do for some pants and a shirt sometime soon."

"Great! And I really am Sorry Xander." Zatanna stated as she walked further into the back of the stage. "Come on back to my dressing room, we will see if any of the stage hands has a spare pair of clothes you can wear until we can get you something better." She stated, taking a moment to gaze at his still exposed chest and muscular shoulders and arms.

Xander followed along, shuffling and kicking the cloth in front of him so he wouldn't trip.

Zatanna lead him out from the backstage area and into the hallways that went under the stage, she tried not to laugh at him as he carefully navigated down the stairs without tripping, but a giggle still slipped out.

He scowled a bit at her, but only half heartedly as he too saw the humor in the situation.

She pointed out a door at the end of the hall that had a big star on it and her name clearly written on the star.

"It's right down there," Zatanna stated with a playful smile, "Think you came make it that far without going naked again?" She finished with a wink.

Xander playfully batted at her with one hand, acting like he was going to grab her, but she stepped back out of reach.

Xander had to quickly return the hand to its duty off holding up the large red silk cloth as his simple action had bared one butt cheek to Zatanna and the rest of the hall of stage hands, most of whom merely laughed at Xander's predicament and the playful banner.

Zatanna lead the way down the rest of the hall, and Xander admired the sway of her hips and the contour of her long legs in the stockings and heels, _'Damn she's hot!' _He thought to himself as she opened the door to her changing room.

Xander walked into the room, noticing that there was a comfortable looking red and gold couch with the arm of it right in front of the doorway when you first entered the large VIP dressing room. Multiple stands holding costumes and clothing stood around the room, and a stage mirror with the round lights and a makeup station were against one wall of the room.

Xander turned around to face Zatanna as she closed the door to the room. Looking down, he realized that the cloth covering had partially unrolled; a portion of it laid right at the door and right behind Zatanna.

It was at that moment that Mr. Murphy decided to come pay Xander and Zatanna a visit.

Zatanna turned around from closing the door and took a step into the room with her high heel clad feet, right onto the corner of the slippery silky material.

Zatanna's foot flew out from underneath her as she plummeted face first towards Xander.

Always one to save a lady, even at the cost to his own life and limb, time seemed to slow down to Xander as he acted first and thought later; meaning he let go of the cloth around his waist and reached out to stop Zatanna from crashing to the ground.

Zatanna's forward motion towards the floor was arrested by Xander's hands grabbing her under the armpits of her flailing arms as he attempted to pull her upright, which unfortunately changed Zatanna's motion from a downward one to a forward one.

Time again seemed to speed up as Zatanna crashed straight into Xander, bowling him over backwards, both of them falling over the arm of the couch where Xander and Zatanna bounced for a few seconds as they caught their breath.

Taking a second to realize where they were, both Xander and Zatanna realized their position. In the rush of the accident Zatanna was laying straddling Xander's thighs, Xander's currently very naked thighs.

Blushing and sputtering, Xander attempted to right himself somehow without pushing Zatanna to the floor, but in dropping his cloth covering, it was now entangled around his feet; and silk is a very strong material.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't mean for this to happen…" Xander babbled as he tried to help move Zatanna without putting his hands on one of the places that his little head was telling him he should put his hands.

Zatanna looked down at him for a second, still appearing to be stunned and unaware of Xander's struggles to not touch her yet help her get off of him.

'_He is soooo Cute!' _The thought flickered through her head, then without really thinking about it she mashed her lips to Xander's and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Xander was startled for a second, but then the little subconscious voices in his head took over.

"Ok boys, we've got our opportunity and we aren't going to miss it! Battle stations! Battle stations, raise the periscope, arm the tubes, and prepare arms for possible boarding." The little voices shouted in the back of his head.

Xander found himself kissing Zatanna back. One hand slid down her back to daringly cup her rear and pull her closer to him, while the other hand came up to trace and caress her cheek before trailing up to knock off her top hat and become entangled in her incredible brunette locks that tumbled around his head.

Knowledge and knowhow that he didn't know he had filtered in from the part of his memories that had come from the costume.

Xander nibbled on her lips before tracing it with his tongue. In answer Zatanna opened her mouth and Xander's tongue lightly flicked and toyed with that of Zatanna's.

Zatanna moaned and used one hand to move around on the floor by the couch before slightly pulling herself away from Xander to point the wand that she had found at the door and yell some sort of gibberish.

It took a second for Xander to realize that she had just said, "Lock and silence the damn door!" backwards, and that was all the time he had before she once again pounced on him hungrily.

His hands massaged her tight rear-end and she continued to moan into his mouth, her pelvis now slowly grinding into his manhood that was fully firm at this point.

Xander continued to kiss her, before hesitating, and then using his superior strength to push her up to an almost sitting position.

"Um, I know this feels like a really bad time to stop." Xander said, biting his lip, "But if we don't stop now, I'm not going to be held accountable for the possible ravishing that my body wants to commit with you." Xander said hesitantly, hoping that this wouldn't ruin his chances.

Zatanna was flustered for a second, but then looked down at him with a smile that he was caring enough to think of her wants before his own. "No, I definitely don't want to stop, I want you too and I'll take you up on that ravishing, thank you very much." She smirked down at him as she gave her pelvis a little twist that made him moan. She attempted to go back to kissing him, but his hands stopped her.

"Um, just so you know, it's kind of embarrassing, but um; I've never done this before." Xander said, a bit humiliated to be telling the truth of his virginal status.

A predatory smile spread across her lips. "You mean, a hunk like you, and I'm your first?" Zatanna asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Um, yeah." Xander stated a bit embarrassed.

"Good! Now help me with these clothes, I'm way too overdressed for these activities." Zatanna said with a wink that immediately brought Xander out of thoughts of his embarrassing announcement.

"Do you care about the buttons?" Xander asked after a second of looking up at her, the nature of female clothing and how to take them off a complete mystery of nature that even Xander Heterodyne's memories couldn't help him with.

"Nope, nothing that a little magic or sewing can't fix later." She stated with a saucy smirk and another wiggle of her hips.

"Right." Xander said, wasting no time in grabbing the fronts of Zatanna's shirt and coat and taking a lightning quick action of tearing the clothing off of her, including her undergarments.

Buttons flew everywhere, and Xander's strength and speed so startled Zatanna that she fell backwards to lay back on his feet, her legs still straddling him.

Sitting up and pulling his feet out from under her, Xander followed Zatanna across the couch, quickly kissing her again and finally being able to untangle his legs from the red silk. Crouching over her, he pulled her towards him in a hungry kiss, she in turn wrapped her naked torso and stocking clad legs around Xander, mashing her chest against his and using the toe of her foot to kick off one of her heels before using the other to repeat the process.

**[WARNING FOR LOVE SCENE]**

Xander and Zatanna stayed kissing, until he suddenly had the inspiration to take his kisses on a tour of Zatanna. First nibbling and kissing towards her ear, where he lightly nipped the lobe and gave it a slight flick of his tongue, getting a giggle in reply, Xander then kissed down the line of her jaw and down the artery of her neck, inspiring a moan and a growl when he nipped her collar bone.

Slowly, and with breaks to head back up to her lips, Xander kissed his way down her body, keeping his hands caressing and teasing at the same time that his mouth was doing so; in short, he was driving her wild.

He trip finally made it her breasts, where he pushed back a second to just look down at her and how gorgeous she was. The comic books simply didn't do her justice as he slightly flushed skin and aroused nipples, dilated pupils, and pouty lips called to him with such a hunger that he couldn't stand to simply look at her for long; he needed to taste her again.

Smirking at her, he winked, and then dove to lick and nip at one nipple, and then the other.

Apparently Zatanna was ticklish as she giggled and squealed, her little feet pounding on his back as he lavished attention on first one breast and then the other.

It was all fun and games, but Xander's heightened senses told him that something to the south smelled very good.

Continuing his tour, he kissed his way down her torso and across her toned belly and sides, eliciting moans and hisses as he nipped and kissed, even slipped his tongue briefly into her belly button.

Soon he came to her pelvic bone and used his hand to cup the v between her legs with the palm of his hand as he kissed up one leg, then back to the junction, and then up the other leg.

His hand slowly rubbed circles on the silky fabric, the fabric that was now moist and wet with Zatanna's perfume.

Pulling aside her panties, he kissed, and then licked up her soft pink lips. Xander didn't know what he was doing, but it seemed to get the right reaction out of Zatanna as she entangled her fingers through his hair.

Licking and sucking, Xander used his tongue to flick the little nub at the top of her lips, causing Zatanna to cry out in what Xander assumed was pleasure. Liking the reaction he got when he did that, he decided to focus on the nub with the tip of his tongue.

Apparently his tongue had some super speed abilities in addition to the rest of his body, as he slowly picked up the pace; every new degree of speed brought a higher pitched squeal from Zatanna until she was hitting a constant high pitched scream with brief breaks to breath.

Xander was smiling, as he continued to lick her. _'This is fun.'_ He thought to himself. Having a moment of inspiration, he slowly slipped his finger in and then curled it upwards in a 'come hither' motion.

Feeling a few ridges, Xander tapped the spot once, and that was all it took.

Zatanna's scream cut off in a gasp, her back arched into a backbend supported by her neck, her thighs clamped on to Xander head and her hands grabbed a hold of his hair and didn't let go as she started thrashing about.

Xander couldn't have stopped if he wanted to, not with Zatanna's thighs and hands crushing his head into her as she flailed her torso about, crushing his nose a couple of times.

After about twenty seconds, every muscle in Zatanna went limp and relaxed.

Xander was frightened that he had hurt her, as he looked up at her to make sure she was still breathing.

Sure enough, her chest continued to rise and fall, and her body twitched a bit with the aftershocks of her orgasm.

Xander briefly wiped his mouth with a bit of the red silk clothe and then slid up her body to caress Zatanna's face.

"Um, are you ok? Zatanna, are you alright?" Xander asked as he looked down at Zatanna's closed eyes.

Zatanna's reaction was to smile, her eyes opened and looked into Xander's. Her arms quickly pulled him to her and she kissed him deeply, before letting him go so she could smile up at him.

"Um, wow, um, I'll take that as you are ok." Xander said, not thinking one hundred percent given that most of his blood flow was not orientated around his big head.

"Come here you goof." Zatanna said, her smile taking any sting out of her words as she pulled down Xander towards her body with her legs and arms.

Surprisingly, Xander's aim was better than he knew as his 'eight inch Twinkie' found its mark and slid into Zatanna's warm silken depths.

Xander gasped, wide eyed before looking down at Zatanna from a distance of about six inches.

"Wow, um, it worked." Xander said, his mouth spouting words before his brain could engage.

Zatanna laughed, "Don't speak any more, just kiss me you dork." She stated before pulling him towards her, fully embedding his sheathing his length in her depth.

Though it was a very 'Cordy like' statement, Xander didn't really mind the dork comment as he was finally losing his virginity; the little voices in the back of his head were doing a victory dance.

Slowly, Xander and Zatanna started to roll their hips together, working up a pace where both could merge their bodies together at just the right point to heighten the sensations of squishy goodness.

They started going, harder, lengthening their slides, and after about ten minutes of bliss Xander felt himself getting close.

Somewhere in the back of Xander's now genius level brain, a voice was saying _'hmmmm, there is something we are missing here. Penis in her, check. Thrusting, check. Feels good, Check. Birth control, che…WHOA HORSEY! Sound the alarm! All Halt! Engines in reverse gear!'_ Xander's brain thought, causing Xander to stop thrusting mid stride.

Xander's sudden stop threw Zatanna for a loop as she attempted to keep thrusting back at him, but his superior strength stopped her.

"Damn it Xander, if you don't' start thrusting again, I'm going to turn you into a toad." She stated with a glare.

Xander looked down at her, a bit shocked as his brain sputtered to try and get the right words to come out of his mouth; his blood was still primarily in the southern hemisphere of his body.

"Um, but I don't want to have a baby right now." Is what came out of his mouth, right before he turned a bit red in the face from what he had said.

Zatanna looked at him for a second, before laughing. The laugh did wonderful things to Xander's penis, things that had him doing long equations of matrix algebra backwards in his head to try and distract himself so that he didn't orgasm inside of her.

"No problem silly." Zatanna stated, before casting a spell that made their loins glow blue and tingle for a second.

"Um, I really hope magic liked me this time." Xander said.

Zatanna just growled at him and took a handful of his hair to pull him back into the action.

They again picked up the pace, matching thrusts until their bodies were making a slapping sound as they pumped together.

As they started going faster and faster, fully thrusting hard into each other, Zatanna muttered that she was getting close; the bands of muscles in her neck started to show as she strained her head back and closed her eyes.

Xander grunted that he was there also, and right after he said it, he felt an additional flow of blood to his penis and his orgasm overcame him.

The heat, fluid and increase in his size was enough to send Zatanna over the edge also, as she latched her legs and arms onto him and pulled him into her so that he was sheathed to the hilt.

They convulsed in each other's arms, moaning and kissing, mindlessly nibbling and biting on each other, lost in their passion.

Finally Xander and Zatanna stopped thrashing about and they relaxed into each other bonelessly.

Xander, understanding that his muscular size was probably heavy in its relaxed state, twisted to the side so that they were still connected together, but now had her on laying on top of him.

Kissing each other one more time, Xander pulled up the red silky cloth and used it as a blanket to cover their naked entwined forms.

After pulling up the sheet, Xander looked down at Zatanna to say something, but saw that her eyes were closed and that she had apparently fallen asleep; still snuggled into his chest with him inside of her.

Xander smiled to himself, laid his arms over her back, and slowly fell asleep also.

**[END OF LOVE SCENE]**

Xander woke up the next morning when Zatanna flinched in her sleep, she was also making the cutest little puppy dog like snoring sounds.

Xander couldn't help it and chuckled at how cute she was. The up and down motion of his chest moving in tune with his laugh woke the sleeping beauty.

Xander saw her eyes open and look up at him from her place on his chest.

"Good morning gorgeous." Xander stated as he smiled down at her.

Zatanna yawned for a second, before giving him a good morning also, really liking to look up at his cute smiling face.

"Um, so, come here often?" Xander stated, at a loss as to what to say in a situation like this; he'd been a virgin just a few hours before after all.

Zatanna laughed at him, "You goof! Well I certainly came here often last night," she said gleam in her eye and a naughty little wiggle of her body against his.

Xander's 'Twinkie cake of doom' started to grow again as the blood flow headed south; causing the appendage that had fallen out of her during the night to poke her belly.

"Mmmm, looks like somebody wants a round two." Zatanna said with an evil look in her eye before going in to kiss Xander.

Just then, a ringing came from the pocket of Zatanna's torn tuxedo.

Zatanna jumped off of Xander and flew across the room towards the scattered remains of her clothes, where she frantically dug through them until she pulled out a red compact communications device of some sort.

Holding it close to her face, she talked into it, "Zatanna here, what is your situation tower?" She stated.

"This is Batman; we have a situation southern Mexico that needs your assistance. A rouge magic user who claims to be bringing about the return of the Aztec Empire is using the pyramids to power some sort of magical shield. We need your help to break through before the rest of the team can come in."

"Right." Zatanna said, biting her lip and looking to where Xander was still laying on the couch, looking at her and the communicator with a bit of a knowing smile that unnerved her for some reason.

"Am I… interrupting something?" Batman's voice stated from the communicator; Xander caught the inflection in the voice as the closest thing that Batman would ever say that could possibly resemble a joke.

Zatanna blushed a deep red before rapidly telling the communicator, "Um, no, nothing at all. Give me five minutes and then transport me up to the tower. Zatanna out." She stated, closing the communicator with a hasty snap.

Xander merely chuckled, "Well there goes round two I guess." He stated with an understanding smile.

Zatanna hesitated for a second, tempted to pounce Xander again, before hastily remembering what she really needed to be done.

Grabbing an outfit that was still in one piece, Zatanna threw on her clothes and grabbed her hat and cane.

Xander just laid there smiling at her and watching her jiggle and bounce around the room as she got ready, it truly was an enjoyable site.

As she threw on her top hat and pulled her coat snug, she leaned over the couch and gave him one last big kiss. Putting her hand to his ear, she 'pulled' a card out of it and presented it to him.

"Call me some time, I really had a great time, and I'm really sorry but I have to go." She stated, a bit of vulnerability shining through her eyes as she looked down at him.

"Well, if we are ever in the same area again, I'll make sure to look you up." Xander said with a nod and a smile.

"I look forward to it," Zatanna answered back with a huge smile and a bit of bounce in her step, right before the shimmering light appeared and she was transported up to the Justice League's Tower in space.

Xander, now left alone in the backstage changing room, looked around for a second before it dawned on him.

"Well crap. Now what am I supposed to do about clothes?" Xander griped.

* * *

**AN: Well, there's a partial answer to the poll from last chapter. Going to be staying in the Justice league verse for the time being. Going to see what comes along from there as I don't have an ending to this story firmly thought out at the moment. I'm writing this purely for the fun of it, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Cheers!**


	5. Chapter 5: Know Thy Self, Know Thy Enemy

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own buffy verse, girl genius verse, DC comics or any of that, so give it a rest.

**AN:** **This is story, not ficwad or another adult fan fiction site, so my love scenes are not going to be smoking hot melt the computer screen type mature adult only scenes. If I start feeling that the story calls for it, then I will just take the scene out and post the complete chapter somewhere else. To tell the truth, I'm thinking of taking this entire story and posting it somewhere else anyway. Just a thought for now.**

**AN: Tis easier to destroy than create, so good on you to the flamer's for keeping to the minimum effort and not even writing your own stories while lambasting mine.**

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'_Thought_'

"Speech"

**Chapter 5: Know Thyself, Know Thy Enemy**

"Know thy self, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories."

~ Sun Tzu

It was called the walk of shame, not the walk of absolute humiliation. That is why Xander had chosen to wear a pair of Zatanna's sweat pants rather than wrapping the silk cloth around his waist like a kilt for his walk back to the junk yard.

Like kryptonite to Superman, the color yellow to the Green Lantern, and fire to the Martian Manhunter, when magic reared its head Xander was in for a lot of trouble. This was what was going over and over again in his head as he took a barefooted 'walk of shame' home to the junkyard in nothing but his leather jacket and a borrowed pair of what must have been Zatanna's baggy sweat pants; on Xander they looked like Capri-pants and only covered to right below his knees.

'_I have got to figure out what to do about magic repeatedly kicking my ass, as well as figure out what is left over from my heterodyne self.'_ Xander thought as he wandered up the hill from Metropolis to the junk yard. Xander was thankful that his body was hardier than it had been before the Halloween fiasco otherwise the walk over the hot asphalt with its plethora of sharp pebbles would have been more than uncomfortable. His body's unnatural ability to heal itself immediately cured any scratches and dispelled any thorns or sharp rocks from his feet before he could even take another step; it even adapted itself to walking on the rugged asphalt by thickening the skin along the soles of his feet.

'_So here's the plan, figure out what if anything I retain__ed from heterodyne, and then figure out a way to protect myself from magic and its never ending quest to kick my ass six ways from Sunday.'_ Xander agreed in his mind as he made it to the gates to the Junkyard and squeezed through the Xander shaped hole that he had left in the wire fencing from his first trip to Metropolis.

"Eh, What's up Doc?" Number 5 asked in Bugs Bunny's voice as the combat bot's patrol route of the junk yard led it past Xander.

"I've got some work to do 5, see if you can get some of the clanks to grab some of the gas tanks of nitrous oxide that we bought from that medical supply company, and meet me in the lab." Xander instructed as he continued to proceed towards the warehouse and his laboratory.

Walking into the warehouse Xander stopped to take off the too-small pair of sweat pants and changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, grabbed a welding apron and long leather lab coat that he used when he was working in the lab, and proceeded out to where he heard the robots working together in the motor-pool area.

"Yo Optimus, did we ever get that shipment of black market purloined smilex, poison-ivy spores, and fear gas from Gotham? I think I ordered it last week for the immunity distillery, should be in the orders that came from the thugs that looted the operations of the former Black Mask?"

"Affirmative Xander prime," the large robot answered as it moved over towards a large metal shipping container and removed three gas-tanks of the requested dangerous substances.

"Excellent!" Xander cackled, as a gleam started to come to his eyes and a smile crept across his face.

"Wa ha ha ha ha..." Xander began to chuckle evilly, before catching himself and covering it with a cough.

"Um, take it all into the lab area and hook them up to the distillery, I'm going to go get the coffee from the 'Mr. Perfect Coffee Engine' that we created last week and I'll meet you next to the distillery." Xander shouted over his shoulder as he diverted his path to the kitchen.

"Affirmative" the hulking Optimus stated as it lugged its cargo into the laboratory section of Xander's work space.

"Behold…the creator of God's nectar of life! The Mr. Perfect coffee engine model 2.0," Xander announced dramatically as he walked into the kitchen, not that there was anybody there to hear him besides a couple of clanks who were working near the stove.

The coffee machine was a monstrosity of gauges, copper silos, hoppers of beans, blow torches, a coffee engine from Milan, an old wash-bin, heating coils, cooling coils and a few gadgets whose dimensions would make mother nature cringe from their appearance of unnaturalness. But this machine made the perfect cup of coffee. The 'Spark Roast Coffee' was an invention that came with Xander's new memories. The coffee that came from the machine had been dubbed 'perfect' by the author of "Bean There Done That" the senior most thesis on coffee making and bean roasting perfection. Xander had modeled his machine after that created by Agatha Heterodyne on her adventures. The coffee that came out of it was so caffeinated, so incredible, and so perfect that the author of the famous book had gone on a rant the moment he'd taken his first sip, a tear falling from his eye:

The taste is a perfect blend of all the tastes and essences that make coffee what it is. A perfect blend and yet I can discern each and every one perfectly. Even the way the liquid adheres to the inside of the cup – indicative of the way it flows along the taste buds- is aesthetically perfect. It reveals the mathematical perfection of the cup itself! The delicate smoothness of the china with its own inherent temperature which mitigates the otherwise extreme heat of the coffee itself…

The original author's poetic waxing brought on by the imbibing of the perfect fluid had been interrupted at the time, but the sentiment was still the same for the fluid that came from Xander's own coffee engine; which he simply dubbed the "Mr. Perfect". Of course, seeing as how it was the model 2.0, it now had twice the caffeine of the original, and as a result would probably be outlawed in twenty states as well as thirty seven small countries.

Xander flipped a few switches, a steam whistle blew, alarms and klaxons sounded, and a small cup of dark coffee was poured perfectly into the mug before him.

"Ahhhh, smells good." Xander announced to the kitchen as he picked up and sniffed the mug of heady caffeinated perfection. With that, he carried the mug out of the kitchen through another door and into the laboratory area.

Bunsen burners burned hot, caldron's swirled, fluids bubbled, and weird aromas issued up into the air throughout the room, swirled nicely by an animatronic witch with one eye, and that was just his clothes washing machine.

Walking past the clothes washing station, Xander proceeded into the back where he saw Optimus hooking up hoses and ventilation hoods over the smilex, spores, and fear toxin.

Each of these chemicals was deadly in their own right, but in different ways. The Joker's smilex was always a guaranteed laugh, the spores promised a good time, and the fear toxin balanced them out with shear paranoia inducing agony and angst. With a touch of the Mr. Perfect Spark Roast blend, Xander was betting on coming out ahead.

His original idea had been to examine the chemicals and figure out a way to become immune to some of the more deadly toxins in his new world, but now, he was going to use them to try and get in touch with his inner psyche.

The chemical brew that he was planning would be perfect: two parts madness, one part lust, three parts caffeine, so pretty much a bottled embodiment of the chemicals that raged through most teenagers, only in their concentrated synthesized form.

Xander walked up to the steam pump that was connected to the distillery, gave it a kick, spun the nozzles on the smilex, fear toxin, and Poison Ivy's spore container and then carefully measured out two drops of the coffee into the hopper on top.

Shrugging to himself, Xander gave an, "Better be safe" before just upending the entire cup of coffee into the hopper.

The machine shook, shimmied and moaned before ending with a 'Ding!' of a bell as it dispelled two drops of cloudy purple liquid onto a spoon that waited at the output nozzle.

Xander pulled up a wheelie chair and spun it around so he could sit on it.

Taking the spoon carefully, he gently swiveled his chair around so that he was facing a large highly polished sheet of steel that was mirror bright.

"Ok gang" Xander called as he looked at the clanks that were gathered around, Optimus looking down at Xander from his tall height.

"This should work to get me into a hallucinogenic state by which I can consciously converse with my inner psyche." Xander explained, "Of course, there is a 32.241 percent chance that this could also turn me into a gopher, small woodland creature or outright kill me, but it's worth the chance to finally figure out what I can do with this new brain and body." Xander finished with a shrug.

"If this doesn't work, and something happens to me, Optimus, you get the oil supply and my autographed picture of Zatanna in nothing but her stockings and heels, the clanks get the bolts and my collection of Big Band hits, and Number 5 and Number 6 can split the collection of Three Stooges, Monty Python, Star Wars and Mel Brooks DVD's. The Twinkies and the yellow crayon are to be buried with me, alright?" Xander explained as he looked around at his gathered creations.

A cacophony of "Affirmative" toots, honks, whistles and "Yes my master" in James Earl Jones's voice was his reply from the gathered robots.

"Alright then, down the hatch!" Xander stated, as he took the spoon into his mouth and swallowed the concoction that had come out of the distillery.

The results were immediate. First he shuttered, then smoke came out of his ears while green mist was exhaled from his nose. He hiccupped, then giggled, then snorted and coughed.

Xander used his hand to hit his chest to stop the cough, and a smoke ring shot out of his mouth and dispersed itself against the polished steel mirror.

Looking up at the mirror, Xander noted that the smoke and mist had stopped coming out of his ears nose and throat, and yet he was still alive.

"Well at least I'm still alive." Xander put forth positively as his shoulders slumped in defeat, "It's too bad that it didn't work though." He finished.

"I wouldn't be so fast to pass this experiment off as a loss just yet my lad," said a voice from in front of Xander.

Xander looked up and saw that the image in the mirror was leaning forward in his chair and smirking back at him.

"Um, did you say something?" Xander asked as he looked at his reflection.

"Yep, I did, congratulations on a successful chemical brewing." The image replied as it stood up from its chair and started to pace back and forth in the mirrored steel.

Xander smiled at his reflection.

"So what do I call you?" Xander asked, "It would be kind of hard to have a conversation if I called you Xander, or me." Xander pointed out from his seat in front of the mirror.

"Just call me Heterodyne for now." The image stated, "Ok, so you wanted to know about me the person and memories you gained, so the easy answer is, in short, you're me." Heterodyne announced with a smirk.

"What do you mean I'm you?" Xander questioned with an inquisitive rising of the eyebrow.

"Well, you know the costume you made was some wacky amalgamation love child of Agatha Heterodyne, Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, Othar Tryggvassen Gentleman Adventurer, and the Castle Heterodyne itself; all normal for the gaslamp or steam punk that is the Girl Genius universe but overall a bit weird." The image of Heterodyne explained.

"What you don't know is that the Castle was really alive. It was the imprinted mental and physical manifestation of Agatha's mother as well as the multitude of Heterodyne warlords, mad chemists botanists, mechanics, physicists, evil MD's, engineers and even one evil lawyer; and believe me, he was evil, even for a lawyer." The image continued, shuddering when it explained the last part.

"All of that knowledge and personality was imprinted into the DNA of me, Xander Heterodyne." The image continued to pace and wave its hands about as it went through its explanation. "Now don't get me wrong, I'm not evil, my genes do have a good bit of both Othar Trygvassen, the noted hero, as well as Agatha heterodyne and Gilgamesh Wulfenbach; but both of them were more on the grey side of good with a whole lot of chaos added in." Heterodyne finished explaining as he finally stood still in the mirror.

"So that's all interesting, but I was hoping for the cliff's note edition if possible." Xander stated, not trying to be rude but really more interested in what all of this information meant for the here and now.

"Ok, in basic English, you're going to have all of the wacky brainy sciences, a bit of law, and a lot of crazy bad and good luck rolled up in you with a hint of chaotic neutral tendencies. Your body is hardier and stronger than any normal human, and you have a healing factor that can keep you alive for a good period of time even if your limbs are chopped off; assuming that you can get them sewed back on within a reasonable period of time." Heterodyne summarized with a smile as he looked down from the mirror at the still seated Xander. "You're a mad scientist, a spark, you, just like I and all the rest of the major sparks in the Heterodyne family, have the ability to bend, break, or even ignore the laws of nature physics or whatever when you want to invent something. Pretty handy when it comes to fidgeting and creating things, and I think you would best sum yourself up as a 'MacGyver' on crack or some other term like that.

"That's the good news." Heterodyne continued.

"Hmmm," Xander mused as he thought about everything that his Heterodyne imaginary self had just explained to him, and then the last statement about the 'good news' clicked in his head.

"Wait, what do you mean about 'that's the good news?'" Xander questioned a bit cautiously. "So what's the bad news?" Xander asked, a foreshadowing of doom starting to creep into his voice. _'After all, this had all been too easy and Lady Luck was never this nice to him without kicking him in the crotch a bit later.'_ Xander thought at the end.

"Well two things really," Heterodyne explained as he stood there, "First, remember what I said about the warlord bit? Well, besides the fact that you may be prone to wanting to take over the world, you and I both know you aren't the typical type of hero that this world is used to, if you know what I mean."

"What? No, I don't know what you mean." Xander sat back in his chair and questioned, he'd really hoped that he could be a superhero while he was here in the DC comic and justice league universe.

"Well, let's put it this way." Heterodyne answered, "What would you do to a vampire?"

"Kill it." Xander immediately answered.

"Ok, so what would you do to the person who decided carve their name in Willow's forehead with a knife before gassing her to death or shooting her in the head?" Heterodyne asked.

Xander's eyes immediately turned dark and a palpable shadow of darkness seemed to flash across his face. "I'd torture them until they couldn't scream any more, and then I'd kill them." Xander stated without hesitation and with a deep growl.

"See! There!" Heterodyne explained, "Both answers would be perfectly acceptable for dealing with the big bad in your old dimension, no matter whether it is human or demon. But here, the Hero's don't kill, they don't even kill when somebody commits horrible genocide or hacks up little kids. Even vampires are allowed to live if they don't turn people or aren't caught killing anybody." The image explained.

"You and I both know that you aren't that type of hero, I'd call you more of the 'gray knight' type rather than any old white knight like Superman or that so called "black knight" Batman. They might call themselves by some other title, but none of them are really willing to kill where you and I agree it needs to be done. That's not to say that you aren't willing to save the day, you and I both know that you have done things to save Buffy and Willow and save the world, some things that they don't even know about. You are a hero if you want to be, just not the type of hero that will get you invited by Superman to go over for cookies at Ma Kent's house," Heterodyne finished.

Xander was silent as he thought over his inner psyche's message. It was true, he really couldn't call himself a "white knight" like some had referred to him in his old dimension, nor could he really compare himself to the boy-scout that was Superman or the 'never kill the monster' rest of the hero's who belonged to the Justice League.

"Ok, I understand that part and can agree with it." Xander stated as he pulled himself away from his introspection and looked up into the eyes of the Heterodyne image. "So what's the second part of the bad news?" Xander finished.

"I am." A deep growling voice stated as the image of Xander Heterodyne split and a second image, this time with green glowing eyes, fangs, claws and wearing a gray and black speckled set of clothes.

"Primal, meet Xander, Xander, meet Primal spirit of the Hyena." Heterodyne introduced as he pointed from the image beside him to Xander who was now recoiling in shock.

"This is why your senses, strength, healing factor and speed are even faster than I could have done to you if it was only me that you bonded with on Halloween." The image of Xander Heterodyne explained. "It's also why you are more gray and a bit more bloodthirsty than you would have been given my family's genetic history of terrorizing the world and being warlords, what with it being balanced out with the heroes that were my immediate parents." The image added.

"How's it going bub." The image of the Primal stated with a smirk as it pulled a cigar out of an internal pocket, pulled a strike match from its pocket, and snapped its fingers on the match's head, causing it to flame up.

Xander was still in shock as he watched the image of the Hyena spirit use the match to light its cigar and started puffing on it. Seeing that Xander was staring at it, the Hyena spirit showed Xander its middle finger.

This seemed to bring Xander out of his daze.

"So what about the original me, am I still in there also?" Xander asked the Heterodyne image, as it seemed like the Primal spirit was content to smoke its cigar and glare at Xander seated in front of the mirror.

"Sure is." Stated a bright yellow Hawaiian shirt wearing image of Xander as it stepped out from behind the Heterodyne one. The Hawaiian shirt wearing image pulled a Twinkie out of its pocket and shoved the whole thing into his mouth. "Mhhhyy Anhoth thojw Heterodynooth Contohrousl thooo Primhoal." The Hawaiian shirt Xander stated with a mouth full of Twinkie.

"What my alter ego is trying to say is that I and Hawaiian guy here keep the Primal mostly in check, though your conscious mind plays a key role in making sure that Mr. Primal doesn't take control." Heterodyne explained, and Hawaiian Shirt image finished swallowing the Twinkie with a big goofy smile and a thumbs up.

"Yep, sure do." Hawaiian image stated as he turned his smile on the Primal. The Primal in turn blew a big cloud of smoke into the Hawaiian shirt wearing image's face, causing Hawaii guy to cough and choke.

Xander, seated in front of the steel mirror just took in all the information for a minute, before speaking out again.

"Ok, so that's everything right?" Xander asked.

All three of his images nodded and smiled at the physical combined version of Xander; or in the case of the Primal smirked at him with a fanged smile and a cigar chomped in his mouth.

"Ok, thanks. So now what?" Xander questioned.

"Now? Well now is the time when the distilled potion starts to cause you to go on an acid trip and you are forced to watch us turn into ballet dancing hippos and alligators." Heterodyne stated with a crazy smile coming across the image's face.

"Really!" Xander asked, with growing horror.

"No, not really." The image of Xander Heterodyne answered with a wink.

With that, Xander found himself facing an image of only himself, seated in a swivel chair facing a mirrored surface of polished steel. The only other image in his reflection was that of the clanks and robots that were still surrounding him in his lab.

Xander kicked back from the mirrored steel, swiveled around to a work table, leaned back and kicked his feet up on the table.

Xander threaded his fingers behind his head and reclined further in the swivel chair, smiled up at the towering figure of Optimus and said, "Well that went better than I expected it to."

Optimus answered, "Affirmative."

Just then the wheels on the chair that Xander was reclining on decided to slide out from under him due to his incline.

Xander thudded to the ground, knocking his head hard and causing him to see little clanks circle before his vision.

"Owwww." Xander called out from his new position on the floor. He figured that he was content to lay right where he was for a while before moving on to dealing with his next problem, how to stop magic from kicking his ass.

* * *

Xander was seated before his drawing board, a pencil wedged behind his ear, staring down at the coffee cup ring stained drawings of a mace. This wasn't a drawing of any old mace; this was a drawing of Hawkgirl's mace, a mace made out of Nth Metal.

'_Nth Metal is the key to stopping magic from affecting me. Well I hope it is…'_ Xander thought to himself as he continued to stare at the drawing of the mace while sipping his coffee. It was going on 11:00 at night and Xander still didn't have a plan on how to figure out if Nth metal would stop magic from attacking or affecting him.

'_So here's the problem_,' Xander thought to himself, _'In all of the DC comics and cartoons that I remember reading or watching, Nth metal is rare and yet very good at stopping physical attacks. In some parts of DC comic lore, Nth metal stops magic, in others, it stops most elemental attacks but doesn't say anything about magic. The only person who I know of who has Nth metal at this time is Hawkgirl." _Xander pondered as he continued to slurp his coffee.

"How the hell am I supposed to get Hawkgirl to lend me her mace without her ending up using it on me?" Xander stated out loud as he smacked his coffee cup down on the drawing.

"I can imagine it now, 'Hey Hawkgirl, you don't know me, but I'm a mysterious traveler from another dimension with no form of current ID, and I was wondering if I could borrow your mace for a bit so that I could learn how it works and what forms of energy it deflects versus what its weaknesses are, ok?" Xander mimed to himself in a condescending manner.

"And then; POW, BAM, and BIFF, right to my kisser that mace will go." Xander yelled with frustration as he stood up and angrily broke a ruler over his knee.

Xander looked down at the two halves of the ruler broken in his hand, and examined the impact that his knee had made on the metal and wood instrument.

Xander's eyes got really big, and a crazy smile came across his face as his spark of mad genius kicked in. _'Impact! That's it!'_ Xander thought.

Xander whipped out his pencil and started making drawings, throwing pieces of paper out of the way as the madness and genius took over his brain in equal parts.

"I'll need fire… and a high pressure force gauge… diamond drill bit and industrial cutting laser…" Xander ranted to himself.

"Number 6! Fast, go grab that laser death ray focusing gem from that crashed alien craft, I need it here now!" Xander shouted over his shoulder, not even looking to see if his orders were followed.

"Toots and Honks, get the clanks warming up the cutting and welding torches as well as the fusion defibrillator array, and somebody get me a refill of coffee!" Xander shouted, the sounds of scurrying clanks, clunking robotic feet, and a myriad of musical tweets came from all around him as his creations moved into high gear to keep up with the speed of his creative thinking.

"Somebody take the cold water coolant tubes off of the liquid nitrogen system and rig them to the old marshmallow gun tube and firing mechanism." Xander ordered again as he continued to make hasty and rapid drawings, doing calculations on the fly and putting them into his paper as he worked.

Stepping back, Xander withdrew his hand from its rapid scribbling and he gazed down at the drawing before him.

"Hmmm, it needs something more, but what could it be?" Xander hummed to himself while stroking his chin.

Two little clanks ran towards him across the tops of the tables and drawing desk, both carrying fresh cups of coffee. Unfortunately, or fortunately, both were so devotedly looking up at their master that they didn't see each other and both ended up running into one another.

The coffee from the cups splashed into the air, and dribbled down the sides of the two mugs, both mugs ended up flopping right down on the drawing of the monstrosity that Xander was creating.

Picking up both mugs with disgust at what his minions had done, Xander gazed at the photo to make sure that it wasn't ruined. There were now two circular coffee stains on the drawing, one on the face of the robot, one right in the middle of its chest.

A smile slowly and darkly crept across Xander's face.

"He, he," Xander started to chuckle, the chuckle built into a laugh, and then it spilled out of him in all of its chaotic goodness.

"WA HA HA HA HA! BWA HA HA HA HA HA…" Xander's laughter turned maniacal, head reared back, clawed hands reaching towards the ceiling as the genius of his plan came to fruition.

Somewhere high in orbit of planet earth, Hawkgirl sneezed.

* * *

It was a beautiful day in Ohio, the wind was blowing through the fields of ripening corn and wheat, the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and a twenty foot tall robot with wings was flying over the fields with a flamethrower lighting the fields on fire while dragging a banner behind it that read, "Hawkgirl hits like a girl!"

A sudden boom heralded the opening of a boom-tube and the disgorgement of Hawkgirl who flew out of the opening of the transporter field.

Hawkgirl was not happy to have her lunch with John Stewart, the Green Lantern, interrupted by the Martian Manhunter telling her that he had an issue for her to deal with, 'one that had her name written all over it.'

Seeing the robot glide along on its rocket boots as it did crop duster runs on the fields, its mocking banner streaming behind it, she took off after it at full flight to see if she could figure out what it was doing first and if it could be stopped peacefully before using her mace; the other justice league members had been telling her that she needed to not give in to her temper so much.

As she gained ground on the gliding robot, she saw the cable towing the banner release, letting the banner catch the wind and sale back towards her. Swooping upwards quickly, Hawkgirl dodged the now fluttering banner and halted mid air to address the mechanical being. She was surprised to see that it was already floating right there in front of her.

About thirty feet in front of her was a robot that looked to be a fighter jet that had morphed or transformed into a bipedal robot, both of its legs provided thrust through rocket engines. It looked like a giant humanoid robot; except for where the robot's face should have been was a giant red and white circular bulls-eye. A giant red and white bulls-eye was also painted on its chest.

"Stop what you are doing and give yourself up!" Hawkgirl yelled across the distance to the robot, "Whoever you are, your reign of terror has stopped." Hawkgirl spouted, realizing a second later that her statement sounded a bit corny and that she was really glad that none of the rest of the Justice League was there to witness her statement.

"Who am I?" The robot's voice asked, coming out as a high pitched nasally French voice, "I am HITME. However it is not I who matters you Thanagarian idgit! You're mother was a dodo and your father smelt of pigeon droppings! I fart in your general direction!" The robot yelled, pounding on its head with its own hands in imitation of a certain actor from a British comedy movie.

The robot then turned around and bent over, only for the red and white bulls-eye on its rear-end to shoot a stream of freezing cold water right at Hawkgirl.

Hawkgirl was so surprised by the actions and taunting of the robot that she wasn't prepared for the blast of cold water that hit her right in the chest, knocking her back and sending her tumbling head over heels through the air.

Finally righting herself, Hawkgirl hovered for a second to make sure she was ok. Looking down, she realized that she was soaked from head to toe, and that it also had been a bad idea to come to the battle while wearing the white blouse that she had picked out for the date, rather than her usual secure yellow top.

Hawkgirl growled in menace, just as the robot raised its hands to the sides of its head where its ears would have been, and pretended to be sticking out its tongue and waving its hands. The sound of "Nanny nanny boo boo, you can't hit me!" Came from speakers on the robot.

That did the trick. Hawkgirl was now officially mad.

Yelling in anger, Hawkgirl streaked across the sky towards the still floating robot, and started beating the crap out of it with her mace.

First one blow to the face that knocked its head back, then one to the chest to try and drive it into the ground, then as the robot tumbled towards the earth, she helped it on its way by hitting it on the bulls-eye on its ass.

"Hmph, that should fix you." She stated out loud as she spit after the robot and its tumbling path towards the earth.

The robot crashed into the ground with a bang as its steel body impacted the freshly tilled and slightly charred earth of a field of wheat.

Just as she started shaking her shirt to try and get the water out of it, a tingling in the back of her head told her that she needed to dodge.

Diving quickly to the left, she barely missed having her feathers singed by a plume of fire which the now standing robot had shot at her.

Suddenly music started to blast out of speakers hidden on the robot, as its rocket boots thrust it into the sky after the diving Hawkgirl.

"Let's get ready to RUMBLEEEEE!" Came a sports announcer's voice out of the speakers of the robot, right before the music changed to that of Wagner's Flight of the Valkyries.

The robot shot streams of liquid fire out of a nozzle attached to its right arm as it continued to chase the dodging Hawkgirl.

After a few blasts, Hawkgirl was tired of dodging and decided to take the fight back to the musical robot that was really starting to get on her nerves.

Swinging her mace around, she deflected a blast of fire back towards the robot, effectively hitting it and knocking it over and back towards the ground.

As the machine tumbled towards the ground, a blast of water shot out of its hind quarters, right at Hawkgirl.

Not wanting to be hit with another blast of cold water, Hawkgirl again used her mace to deflect the stream of fluid so that it went around her form. The tumbling robot was able to turn its face towards Hawkgirl, and a bright red laser beam shot out of the center of the bulls-eye on its face.

Hawkgirl again used her mace to deflect the laser away from her, and then continued to follow the path of the plummeting robot.

As she watched the robot continue to fall towards the ground, Hawkgirl decided to make sure it didn't get back into the air this time.

Using her mace to great effect, she dove at the tumbling robot and repeatedly beat on it with her weapon, keeping it from being able to get its feet and rocket powered legs under control. Time and again she thudded into the machine, only pulling up at the last second as the robot plowed into the earth and left a large gouge out of a hill.

Floating ten feet away from the robot, Hawkgirl taunted back at the machine.

"Have you had enough?" She growled, shaking her mace in one hand at the machine as she hovered where she was, looking down at it.

The large robot, aka HITME, pushed itself out of the ground and then shook its head.

"I don't know…it depends what you're offering. If I didn't know better, I'd think this was 'exciting' you." A man's voice issued out of the speakers on the robot, while the robot's hand and finger went to point at her chest, only to do air-quote when it mentioned the word 'exciting.'

Looking down at her chest, Hawkgirl saw that the cold water along with the evaporation from flying around had caused a certain reaction in her chest area; a reaction that was on full display due to the combination of cold water and now see through white shirt.

That seemed to do the trick, as Hawkgirl saw red, figuratively. Before, she had been a bit ticked off at the insults, perhaps even a bit mad. But as anybody who read comic books knows, you don't make fun of a super heroines figure. That's just asking to get your ass handed to you.

Hawkgirl screamed bloody murder, and pile-drove herself into the robot, beating the ever living hell out of it with her mace, even going so far as to head-butt the robot's face with her helmet.

The beating went on for a few minutes as the only thing that could be heard on the hill was Hawkgirl's grunting and screaming and the quick series of metallic thuds, bangs and clangs as she pounded on the machine.

Then, all of a sudden there sounded a "DING!" The tone was followed by a female voice coming from the speakers of the robot that said, "Analysis completed, have a nice day."

With this, the tide of the battle shifted. The robot who had up till this point taken the beating and not really swung back at Hawkgirl, grabbed the incoming end of the mace as it plummeted towards its face, and stopped the weapon's downward momentum cold.

Flinging its arm out to the side, the robot used the leverage of its grasp on the end of the mace to fling Hawkgirl off of her grip on her weapon and causing her to go rolling down the hill that they had been fighting on.

As Hawkgirl tumbled over and over down the hill, she didn't see the robot's left arm flip out a little industrial diamond drill and laser which then cut a small flake of the mace's metal off and collected it into a sample tray; the tray then disappearing into the arm of the robot.

Hawkgirl finally stopped rolling down the hill and turned back to face the taller robot, only to duck as her mace impacted the earth next to her head.

"Badee Badee Badee, that's all folks!" the voice of 'Porky the Pig' shouted from the speakers of the robot. Then the speaker's voices changed to that of a group of frightened English men yelling, "Run Away! Retreat!" With some strange sound effect of a cow and something twanging also being played in the background.

With that, the robot leapt into the air, transformed out of its human form and into that of a twin engine MIG like fighter jet, and rapidly hit the afterburners.

Hawkgirl was stunned at how quickly the battle had ended, and the direction it had turned at the end. It was absolute insanity, and she had no idea what the hell had just happened to her or what the whole thing was about.

Looking around, she picked her mace up off of the ground. Looking down at herself she realized that she was still cold and soaking wet, now dripping with muddy water as well as covered with caked on dirt and grass from her roll down the hill; she sniffed herself and really hoped that it was only dirt that she had rolled through.

Looking around again she sighed, she was really glad that none of the rest of the Justice League had seen this.

Rather than asking for a transport home, she figured she would fly to her home and save the embarrassment of letting the people at the station know what happened.

This was one battle that she was never going to tell anybody about, period.

* * *

Back in the warehouse, in the middle of junkyard on the outskirts of Metropolis, Xander Harris removed the headset from his head and rubbed his eyes from where they had been staring at the screens through which he had watched the battle between his robot and Hawkgirl.

Cracking his knuckles, he looked around for a second, wondering what to do.

Then a slight devious smile came across his face.

Smirking to himself, Xander leaned down and pressed a button on one of the DVD trays on the computer attached to the monitors. Popping out one of the recordings of the fight and slipping it into a hard plastic case, Xander called out.

"Ok gang, who wants to travel to Gotham for me and put this in the outgoing mail at Wayne Manor? Send it to the national news station, care of Bruce Wayne" Xander called out to his clanks with a chuckle.

'_Probably not the most sane thing in the world to be taunting both Batman and Hawkgirl, but ehh.'_ Xander thought to himself with a mental shrug.

One little clank, shaped like a pyramid, came forward and gave Xander a salute before putting its metal hands up to receive the DVD. Handing over the DVD, Xander watched the little clank run over and jump itself into a shipping box. The other clanks then sealed up the box and started carrying it away as they post marked it for Gotham.

Xander leaned back in his command chair that was positioned in front of the monitors, watching as his jet/transformer cleared the airspace of Ohio at mach 2.3. The jet was hugging the ground on its way back towards Metropolis and the awaiting Xander. The sensor data from the video feeds and the impact blows had given Xander all of the stress test outputs that he needed on the Nth metal, and the fire, and water retardant capabilities matched up with what he knew regarding Nth metals ability to withstand both physical and elemental damage. The graphical interface details on the side of the monitor told him that the analytical devices housed in the arm of the robot, where the drill and cutting laser were both contained, informed him that the diamond drill had blunted itself on the mace while the laser had shorted out from the refraction of the laser being reflected back into the focusing lens. He would just have to wait to get the small slivers back before he could check the magic protective capabilities of the metal, but so far the metal seemed like it was everything he wanted when it came to stopping power.

'_After __this it's just finding a large enough supply of Nth metal for me to work with.' _Xander thought to himself with a satisfied smile.

His day had started off 36 hours previous, waking up with Zatanna asleep on his chest. Now, he had a better idea of his capabilities and a sample of metal that may be able to stop him from being magic's butt monkey. Ideas of what he could do with the metal floated through his head, it all depended on how much he could find.

"Yep, all in a good day, and nights, work for your resident mad genius." Xander stated to no one in general as he got out of his chair and headed towards his bedroom.

By the time his head hit the pillow, he was already smiling in his dreams. Dreams of a certain naked magic user, and a flying girl in a wet white t-shirt; god he loved his new eidetic memory.

* * *

**AN: I liked this chapter, this was fun to write. I hope you enjoyed it also. So answered some questions and made some preparations for the future. Xander is going to pick his own path and he isn't going to be controlled by fate, 5****th**** dimension midgets or any rules on what a hero does or doesn't do if he wants to fit in. Should be fun with a 99% chance of mad science and a frosty to go. Mmmmm, chocolate frosties.**


	6. Chapter 6: Moving to New Adventures

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, girl genius verse, DC comics or any of that, so give it a rest.

**AN:** **I've been having fun writing, so I'm just going to keep going on my stories whenever I'm in the mood to write on that one. I hope people enjoyed the last chapter, more madcap adventures are right around the bend.**

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'_Thought_'

"Speech"

**Chapter 6: Moving to New Adventures**

"I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula and Superman away"

~ Jack Handy

Creating devices while asleep can be a mixed blessing. The benefits are obviously that you can get more work done while still gaining the rest that your body requests. The downside is waking up drooling on your workbench with the imprint of wire mesh on your forehead, that and not knowing what the hell it is that you created.

Xander smacked his lips and rubbed his face, trying to wipe off the gridlines on his forehead from where his head had been resting on the table. Rubbing his eyes, he looked down to see that there was some sort of giant horseshoe magnet attached to a handheld global positioning satellite (GPS) device, a satellite dish antenna poked out of the top, but the antenna had a Jacob's ladder of electrical current running up its length with a snapping sound at the end.

"What the hell?" Xander asked as he looked down at the device, trying to figure out what exactly it was that he had created. Pressing the power button, the screen flashed on, and a topographical map was soon shown, with a red blip close to the center of the displayed map. Words on the screen informed Xander that he should tap the target that he wanted to search for.

Tapping the red light on the screen, a female voice with an English accent stated, "Target acquired, please turn left."

Xander quickly looked over his right shoulder to try and figure out where he should be going.

"Please turn your other left," the female voice directed, still in its proper English direction.

Xander shrugged, and turned to his left.

"Please take ten normal steps forward," The voice commanded from the device.

Xander complied and then looked back over his left shoulder at the device, awaiting the next instruction.

"Please take a sharp right turn, and immediately step forward." The directional device again commanded.

Xander, still looking over his left shoulder at the device, did a fast turn and step to the right, and ended up impacting his nose and forehead solidly into the metal arm of his still bulls-eye bedecked robot HITME.

"Son of A Newton's Apple!" Xander cursed as his head bounced off the robot's arm, his hands immediately going up to cup his nose. A brief string of tears trickled out of his eyes, and he had to blink for a second so that he could see clearly again.

"Holy Saturn's rings Batman, that hurt!" Xander cursed as he rubbed his face to try and get rid of the sting from colliding with the metal.

"You have now arrived at your destination, thank you for using the 'Nth Direction', your handy guide to locating Nth Metal. Have a good day, good bye now." The voice female politely stated before the closing music for Microsoft Windows played and the device powered itself down.

Xander blinked his eyes a few times to finish clearing the tears, and he felt his nose to make sure it wasn't broken. As his vision cleared he saw that the tray that had collected the shard of Nth Metal from Hawkgirl's mace was in front of him. Leaning forward, he pressed a tiny button on the robot's arm, and the collection tray smoothly slid out to him.

Xander picked up the slight moon shaped sliver of the metal and smiled to himself. He had his Nth Metal to test, he had his tracking device.

Detaching the collection tray from the robot's arm, Xander dropped the sliver of Nth Metal back into the tray and then carried it over to his work table.

Xander laid the tray down on his work table next to his cobbled together electron microscope, which relied heavily on duct tape, and grabbed a pair of almost opaque work goggles. Flipping switches, aiming devices, pointing lamps, Xander flipped the switch to power up his analysis table.

Clapping his hands together, Xander grinned to himself and cracked his knuckles.

"Let the fun begin," he said to a smile, as he delved into analyzing the metal. The ominous hum of the machines, the cracking of sparks, and the random chuckle from Xander were the only sounds to be heard for the next six hours.

* * *

The bells chimed as Xander exited the 'Greater Planes Psychic & Occult Store' located in a dingy street in downtown Metropolis. The old man who ran the place had given Xander the creeps, but the visit to the store had been profitable in multiple ways.

Though Xander had been able to ascertain that the Nth Metal was significantly denser and harder to work with than steel, its alternate characteristics had taken a bit of time to figure out. For instance, when putting a slight charge through the metal, along with a harmonized frequency of vibrations, the metal had exhibited lighter than air, or anti-gravity capabilities. The tensile strength and durability of the metal was everything Xander could have wanted from it, however he had been unable to analyze on his own whether the metal truly reflected magical interference. That's where the old voodoo priest who ran the occult store had come in handy.

Xander had brought the shard wrapped in a piece of cloth he had ripped off of the red silk blanket from Zatanna; waste not want not had been his thinking at the time that he stuck the cloth in his coat pocket. The old man/priest had been impressed with Xander's small sample due to the fact that the metal refused to be charmed or distorted by any of the cantrips or enchantments that the old man had attempted to cast on the fragment.

When the old man had announced his inability to charm the metal, Xander had done a little snoopy dance right there in the middle of the story; he was careful to avoid knocking over the display of shrunken heads and dark idol statutes. Xander had been so happy in fact that he decided that if he was at the store, that it was best that he gain some more detailed knowledge on the more mystical elements and figures of this universe. So happy that he emptied out the cash in his wallet purchasing several old tomes on vampires and undead from the old man, a new edition of Tobin's Spirit Guide, and a blessing on the silver cross that Xander had been gifted by Willow shortly after they learned that the things that went bump in the Sunnydale night were real and left really big bumps.

Xander was so happy with the outcome of the metal and his purchases that he left with a whistle, totally forgetting to ask the old man about any good Jamaican food restaurants that he should go to in the area. Taking a few steps away from the store and down the street, Xander remembered about wanting to ask about the restaurant he should go to.

Turning around to return to the store, Xander was surprised to find himself facing a burned down building, condemnation paper and police tape stretching across the charred remains.

"Um, uh, seriously wigged out here." Xander said to himself as he slowly backed away from the store, not turning his back on it until he got to the curb at the corner of the street. At that point he turned and sprinted away from where the store should have been, back to his again blue and red painted semi truck, aka Optimus.

As Xander jumped into the truck and told Optimus to "Hit it! Get out of here now!" Xander reminded himself that this was another example of why he hated magic, and why magic seemed to like to mess with him.

As Xander drove away, he swore he heard the laugh of the old man breeze by on the wind outside the truck's window.

That only made Xander drive faster.

* * *

Three days later, it was all over the news, and boy was Hawkgirl going to be ticked off. It must have been a slow day for the news, because the Hawkgirl fight over the Ohio cornfields was on every channel.

Ok, so maybe the fight in itself was pretty interesting itself, and the fact that robot was cracking jokes and being zany the entire time added to its repeat watching value. But Hawkgirl in a wet white T-shirt, totally nipping out for the entire world to see? The news stations were in a devoted frenzy of producers, commentators, reporters, and special interests reporters that was like a bus of starving kids being released in a fudge factory after being released from a week at "fat camp"; they simply couldn't get enough of it. Add to that the details released by the news stations that the tape had been sent in to them by the reclusive playboy of Gotham, Bruce Wayne, and this was the story of the year. It had everything, celebrities, heroes, battles, hot half naked women straining on film, and that was before the interviews…

Xander was laughing his head off, only muffled by his mouth full of Twinkies and his slurps of coffee as he watched the reporters' interviews catch the heroes totally unprepared.

"Mr. Wayne! Mr. Wayne! May we have a second of your time?" the reporter on the screen yelled as the screen showed Bruce Wayne getting out of a luxury stretch Rolls Royce that had just pulled up in front of a charity ball (the night before the video was release).

"Sure, I'll give you a moment. I suppose you'd like to talk about what the charity is being supported tonight?" Bruce Wayne replied with a debonair smile.

"No. What our viewers want to know is what is your relationship with Hawkgirl and how did you get the half naked video of her fighting the robot? Is it true that she is bearing your love child? What does the Green Lantern think of you filming his alleged girlfriend while she was half naked, and are you responsible for the robot that attacked her?" the reporter rapid fired questions at Bruce.

"…." Bruce Wayne was speechless. The perfect smile was still pasted on his face, but every person watching the interview at home could tell that the lights were on, but nobody was home.

It took a few seconds, and then Wayne's only response was, "What?"

A seriously incredulous look came across Wayne's normally perfectly quaffed and rugged face.

The repeat of the question by the reporter was drowned out by the other reporters smelling blood in the water and moving in for the kill, yelling all sorts of questions at the billionaire playboy; a playboy who could be seen to be frowning and holding out his hand to block the camera as he stated, "no comment."

Xander almost fell off his seat laughing as he watched the interplay. He'd actually helped stump Batman! Xander was thrilled. Sure, this was Batman's alter ego Bruce Wayne, but Xander knew that Bruce Wayne was only the mask that Batman wore.

The interview with John Stewart, the Green Lantern, wasn't nearly as much fun; what with his simple scowl and response of "no comment." However, watching the screen go fuzzy as Hawkgirl attacked the camera with her mace, now that was priceless.

Just as Xander watched an uncensored version of the video play on one of those entertainment celebrity TV shows, the sound of an old fashioned telephone ringing sounded through the warehouse. The only problem was that Xander didn't have a phone.

Xander's eyes went large and round. He immediately jumped out of his chair and started yelling to his clanks.

"Achtung! All stop! Run Silent, Run Deep!" Xander yelled as he dived towards his work bench and immediately threw a large lead lined sheet over the analysis equipment. Xander hit a big red button that killed power to the entire warehouse, and then dived under the blanket covered workbench.

Clanks scurried every which direction, as hatches were opened in the walls and floors and robots dived into them. Number 5 and Number 6 backed into openings under a large section of hull platting from a tanker ship and pulled a hinged lead trap door with a layer of simulated debris over their opening to their hiding place.

Fortunately for Xander both Optimus and HITME, now dubbed and remodeled/painted to look like Starscream from the old transformers cartoon, were out on errands for Xander. Xander had made sure that Starscream didn't have the same voice or behavioral patterns as the cartoon character; that was one problem he didn't want to have to deal with. Besides, he had a bigger problem to deal with at the moment.

Superman was about to fly over the junkyard.

Xander didn't know if the Justice League's Watch Tower orbital station had tracked Starscream back to Metropolis from the fight, or if Superman was just doing a sweep of the outskirts of the city. If it was the first, then Xander was pretty sure that he would have been overwhelmed by heroes right after the fight. Either way, Superman's ability to see through anything less dense than lead was something that Xander didn't want to have to deal with, especially since his robot had just beat the crap out of Hawkgirl on national television.

That was why he had rigged up the radar to pick up any flying object larger than a bird, but smaller than a small plane. Chances were that if it wasn't a bird, and it wasn't a plane, then it was Superman.

The phone alarm hooked up to the radar went on to ring one more time, and then stopped, leaving the entire warehouse in silence; only the sound of the wind issuing through the cracks in the warehouse could be heard.

It was Xander's thinking that Superman probably only focused in on sounds like voices or screams for help or perhaps bank alarms going off. Every day sounds such as telephone rings, TVs, honking horns, and the regular clanging and pounding of everyday life would be tuned out by the Man of Steel and his super hearing ability; at least Xander hoped so.

A few seconds later, Xander's camouflage was put to the test as a whistling sound flew over the warehouse, the sound of a cape flapping in the air could be heard as the breeze of the flight caused it to snap and pop in the wind.

Xander held his breath as he listened to the sound passing overhead.

The sound slowly faded into the distance.

At the one minute mark, the phone rang again, and Xander let out a sigh and began to breath normally again.

Crawling out from under the table, Xander pulled the lead blanket off of his equipment and reached over to flip the 'on' switch to the power. The hum of booting computers and refrigerator compressors returned with the flow of power.

"That was close," Xander said to himself as he looked around the warehouse. "I've come too far to be stopped now, and I refuse to be branded a villain in this universe." Xander stated. He walked over to one of the warehouse walls and banged his fist against it twice.

At the sound of the blows, the hatches throughout the warehouse popped open and disgorged the population of clanks and robots of all sizes that had been in hiding under the lead lined floor or in their hidden redoubts.

Xander walked over towards the screen that was once again showing the film of Hawkgirl getting blasted by cold water. He smiled resolutely and laid his hand on the screen as he thought for a minute.

The clanks slowly gathered around, hanging from the ceilings, on the tables and the floors, attached to the walls. They were waiting for what their creator and master was going to do next.

Xander pulled himself out of his introspection and looked around at his little friends. Then a large smile came across his face.

"Ok gang. We've done a good job here, and made a good start of things. However, it's time that we moved to safer pastures and found our self some Nth Metal along the way. You know what that means don't you?" Xander stated as he gazed upon his legion of little mechanical minions.

His smile turned ornery. "It means ROAD TRIP!" Xander shouted at the end. He immediately started firing off orders.

"Little clanks, pack up the equipment, parts, partial projects and valuables into the shipping containers." Xander ordered.

"Number 5, get on the radio and figure out when Optimus and Starscream are going to get back. Number 6, find me another two semi-tractors that I can mechanize like Optimus, and a few over the road trailers that are in serviceable order." Xander continued to direct his minions.

With that, Xander rolled up his sleeves and got to work. He had always dreamed of going on a road trip, and though this was under totally different circumstances than the one he had been looking forward to after his senior year. He was going to make the best of it.

* * *

The convoy of darkly tinted windowed trucks had been on the road for only about ten minutes when a distant 'thump' sound issued from the direction of Metropolis city behind them. Xander smiled to himself as the cell phone on his lap gave him a text message telling him that both of his little parting gifts to the city had gone up successfully.

Optimus and Starscream's errands had been very successful. Between the two robots, Xander had been able to acquire a nice supply of soap, diesel fuel, blocks of potassium, a ton of sugar, and enough fertilizer and sulfur to fill up a rancher's feedlot.

The thump that had just issued through the earth and air had been the destruction of the warehouse, blasting it into little tiny bits. After effectively pissing off Hawkgirl, the Green Lantern, and the notorious detective Batman, Xander hadn't wanted to leave behind any evidence of his time in junkyard; well, any evidence besides the seventy foot smoking crater and the rain of metal slivers that would continue for the next fifteen minutes. Besides, what red-blooded American male teenager didn't love big explosions?

It was really was true what they said; enough soap and you really could blow up anything. Though, the one ton fertilizer bomb hadn't hurt either.

That left the sulfur, potassium, and sugar. Well, right about now Superman, and Lex Luthor for that matter, would be busy trying to evacuate the Lex Corp towers. When combined and ignited, the rotten egg smelling sulfuric concoction of potassium and sugar would burn for a good hour, releasing a yellowish putrid smoke that would take months of cleaning and millions of dollars before the towers would be fit for living or working in.

Xander had merely wanted to show Lex Luthor what Xander thought of him, even if Luthor would probably end up blaming it all on Superman. The fact that Lex Luthor had always gotten away with his crimes had always bothered Xander when he read the comic books, and now it was his chance to stick it to the villain.

With a smile on his face, Xander drove Optimus off towards the north east out of Metropolis.

"In 300 miles, turn right at exit 42b for Gotham." The Nth Direction device told Xander in its polite feminine English voice.

"You heard the lady Optimus, let's get this convoy a' rolling." Xander smiled as he spoke to his truck.

The radio clicked on and stated, "Affirmative Xander prime." Then it clicked over to an oldies station.

Xander sang along to the radio, "On the road again. Just can't wait to get back on the road again…"

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**AN: A shorter chapter, but a good place to stop. There was a lot of information crammed into this chapter, but in many ways it was a necessary transition to the world at large. If Xander is going to do the adventures that I want him to, he's not going to be able to stay in Metropolis for the long hall. ****I Hope you enjoyed it. Happy Thanksgiving. (The next two chapters are written and waiting to be editted by the betareaders.*)**


	7. Chapter 7: IOU One Shrink Ray

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, girl genius verse, DC comics or any of that, so give it a rest.

**AN:** **I'm actually writing this before my last chapter is even done with the beta reader and published on the site. That said, I'm really looking forward to writing this chapter. Have you ever walked into a bank and thought, "Hmmm, I bet I could rob this place…" and then go through the different steps (in your head) that it would take to do a successful heist? You haven't? Ok, then maybe I'm weird, but yeah, I always think about the strategic advantages and disadvantages of whatever place I walk into. Maybe it's due to living in some pretty rough and tumble parts of the world, maybe it's because I'm psycho. So this chapter is devoted to those who have always wondered how they would go about making a successful heist on a place that has security up the wazzoo. I hope you enjoy it.**

**AN: WARNING: My beta reader had to run off to another state to help out a family member, so this chapter has not been betad. I appologize in advance for any little errors that I missed.**

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'_Thought_'

"Speech"

**Chapter 7: IOU One Shrink Ray**

"We're now a quarter of an inch tall, and sixty four feet from the house. That's an equivalent of three-point-two miles. That's a long way. Even for a man of science." ~ Nick Szalinski (Honey I Shrunk The Kids)

The trip to Gotham had been uneventful though enjoyable in many ways. Added to the fact that Xander always wanted to do a long over the road trip and see the world, the radio news broadcasts that had cut into the music throughout the trip had made Xander smile. He had successfully made the news twice in one week. Ok, so Xander himself wasn't being talked about in the news, but the outcome of his actions were again in the news. Only three days after the Hawkgirl/Bruce Wayne love triangle and fight video had been the big story, now the breaking news report was on the mysterious yellow rotten egg smelling smoke that was billowing up in the LexCorp Towers complex and the fallout of his prank on Lex Luthor. Apparently Xander's igniting of the giant smoke/stink bomb had some unexpected results.

First of all, the building had to be evacuated as the workers had been almost incapacitated by the thick noxious smelling smoke; hence causing Superman to enter and exit the building numerous times. This lead to the unfortunate finding that though Superman's Kryptonian body might be super strong, and have other super abilities, his super sense of smell was a liability when flying through clouds of rancid rotten-egg smelling smoke. Apparently Superman's stomach was not itself 'super strong,' as its irritation from the sulfur smell and his resulting projectile vomiting right onto the departing limo of Lex Luthor proved to the world; all of it caught on live TV and radio news. The news reports were stating that it would take weeks to clean and sanitize the towers, and Lex Luthor was recorded cursing that he was going to have to throw away his suit and get a new limo.

Xander was a little sorry about involving Superman in the prank. Not to say that Xander hadn't smiled when he watched Lex Luthor get puked on live on national television. No, he was sorry about making Superman sick. How was Xander supposed to know that the smell of rancid rotten eggs was the equivalent of green kryptonite to Superman's stomach?

At least Xander realized that this new information would lead to possible defenses against getting arrested by Superman if the situation ever found Xander on the wrong side of the battle. Xander made a mental note to come up with some sort of easy spray dispenser of a liquefied form of the rotten-egg smell.

'_Thinking about battles and defenses, where is this Nth Directional device leading me?' _Xander thought to himself as the Nth Direction GPS device directed him off of the main roads and into the backwoods away from the outskirts of Gotham city.

As Xander drove along at the head of his convoy of trucks he took the time to look out over Gotham city in the distance. The city of Gotham sat like a blackened series of monolithic buildings, smoke stacks clouds of smog that hid the light as evening came and the shadows of the city shrouded the streets. The shadows that were formed from the tall buildings and industrial centers made the city look dark, dangerous and diseased; a rotten heart of teeming humanity in all of its struggle for wealth, power and criminal intent.

'_Diseased. That's a good definition for that city, as I know some of the craziest and worse villains of the world make their home there.' _Xander thought to himself as he quietly contemplated what he knew about Batman, the alter ego of Bruce Wayne, and the never ending battle against crime in that big city.

"I'm not ready to face any of those monsters just yet. I'll leave that to the Batman for now." Xander mumbled to himself as he focused back on the road ahead of him.

The road ahead came to a bridge over a river, the fields on both sides of him seemed to stop at the bridge and deep forests began on the other side of the river.

"In 1 mile, you will be at Wayne Manor, please take a right up the driveway when you reach the gates." The Nth Direction device related in its proper feminine British accented voice.

Xander did a double take. "What did you say?" He asked the device.

"Please take a right up the driveway when you reach the gate." The voice calmly repeated.

"No, repeat the thing you said right before that, about Wayne Manor. Did I hear you correctly?" Xander talked to the device.

"Yes Sir, the gate to Wayne Manor is now ahead of you in 400 yards." The voice politely stated.

"Oh Hell no! I'm not going up there. Especially not after the Hawkgirl incident." Xander emphatically replied.

"All stop Optimus; signal the convoy to pull over right now." Xander commanded.

"Affirmative." Optimus stated as the robot sent out the electronic message to the following robotic semi-trucks.

The whole convoy seamlessly applied the brakes and pulled over in sync, something that would have told the casual observer that either the drivers were part of a driving team or all mechanical. Not that Xander really worried about their being an observer in the woods, but he wasn't going to put it past Bruce Wayne to have cameras monitoring the road.

Xander pulled the microphone to his radio system off of the dashboard and depressed the button to talk into it.

"Star, Star, this is Sparky here good buddy, what's your position." Xander stated, his other hand reaching out to flick switches and toggle buttons on the dashboard, causing computer screens and a control surface to flip and fold out from in front of the steering wheel and position themselves within easy reach of Xander.

"Whoo doggy, this is big Star screaming back at you good buddy Sparky. I am currently holding at your position plus fifty thousand. Roger Roger." The voice of Burt Reynolds from the movie 'Smokie & The Bandit' replied over the radio system.

Xander had thought it would be fun to change Starscream's voice output to that of a more 'trucker' sounding voice for the purposes of the road trip. It also had an added side benefit of confusing anybody who tried to listen in on the broadcasts; Xander thought that it might have brought too much attention if he had been broadcasting through encrypted means while traveling through Gotham. Waving around encrypted communications in range of the famous detective Batman and his super computer would be like begging the Bat to join your conversation. Thus, just like Xander's Superman radar alarm being a simple telephone ring, Xander's radio communications were going to be left unencrypted and out in the open; with the hope that everybody who heard the conversation would believe that it was a simple conversation between two truckers.

"Star, this is Sparky, What's the situation on smokies? Did you get the lay of the land for where our delivery is supposed to be?" Xander relayed as he depressed the mic button and waited for a reply.

"Why good of you to ask Sparky. This is Star, no smokies to worry about that I've been able to see, and I've got all the directions you could ask for on the location of the load." The voice of Starscream stated through the speakers on the truck.

"When you get a chance, give me a lay of the land then good buddy, Roger Roger, Sparky over and out." Xander spoke as he flipped a switch on his control panel. On the roof of the truck a slot opened up and a satellite antenna deployed from within the open section of roof.

The screens on Xander's dashboard came alive with images and information as high above Wayne Manor Starscream relayed a tight-beam laser communication relay, sharing with Xander the data coming from Starscreams high powered cameras and sensors.

Xander zoomed in on the picture and looked over Wayne Manor through the images that Starscream was beaming back to him. The high powered low-light enhanced picture showed that the building was huge, with multiple wings, an olympic sized swimming pool, an extended car garage, nice neat grounds with a tennis court and even what looked to be a horse stable and polo field. A helicopter pad was back behind the house, and Xander was able to make out an old well about 200 yards from the house; a well that seemed to have some sort of movement issuing from it.

Xander flipped a switch and the image turned to infra-red, showing heat blooms from where the heat of the mansion escaped through the windows and chimneys. There, fluttering above the well and flying in and out of the opening were little blooms of fluttering heat signitures.

"Bats." Xander replied, as a big smile started to grow across his face.

Xander stared at the picture for a few seconds, and then looked down to his right where the Nth Direction device was stating that the Nth Metal was located somewhere right about where the well behind Wayne Manor was situated.

"I wonder?" Xander muttered as his thoughts started churning. "I mean, to have traveled this far… and it is the Batcave." He continued talking to himself as his thoughts turned over in his head.

"After all, Jesse would never have forgiven me if I came all this distance, and to this alternate dimension, and didn't see if I could sneak into the Batcave." Xander finished.

Again the image of the fluttering bats drew Xander's attention. His smile grew till it almost went from one ear to the other.

"That's it! Bats! Wa ha ha ha ha ha! This is going to be so awesome!" Xander finished.

With that, Xander pressed a couple of buttons on the keyboard in front of him and the back wall of the truck's cab split apart, opening a direct path by which his bucket seat could then slide on rails into the trailer portion of the semi truck.

Xander's eyes were glassy with thoughts of the invention he was about to make; all the while his chair moved him back to disappear into the trailer of the semi.

As the sliding doors in the back of the crew-cab closed, the sound of Xander's whistling a nameless tune could be heard; a tune that his 'mother' Agatha Heterodyne had whistled whenever the spark of genius had hit had inspired her to build something new and insanely wacky as well as genius.

* * *

It was finished. A small mechanized clank, its frame covered in a black synthetic lightweight fabric that mimicked leathery flesh, flapped its wings and hovered in the air in front of Xander. Inside of the clank was a bevy of optical and sensory scanners, computer jacks, analysis machines, sampling devices and even an echo location device that would act like a bat's sonar. In honor of the man whose cave Xander was about to trespass on, Xander had labeled it the 'Bat-clank.' It perfectly mimicked the weight and body temperature of a bat, and there was no way that it could be flying like it was flying, nor that it could be as small or as light as it had turned out.

Xander was pretty sure that he had broken at least five laws of physics and outright mocked gravity in his creation of the Bat-clank. It simply shouldn't be able to fly given how much the materials that went into it weighed. Furthermore, some of the sensors that Xander had inserted into the little fluttering clank had originally been as big around as his head, so the simple size to mass ratio of what he had created just wasn't logical given the outcome of the bat-clank that was able to lightly land and hide in the palm of his hand like a baby bat.

"Oh well," Xander stated with a shrug, "I'll worry about mother nature crying in the corner later, it's time to break into the Batcave." Xander finished with a smile.

"Ok little guy, you know where to go, I'll be in communication from the cab of the truck. Get a move on." Xander told the Bat-clank.

"Toots, you go be the relay and stand at the lip of the well. Try not to be seen, ok?" Xander commanded his first and right hand clank.

"Toot Toot!" The little clank answered as it jumped out of the back of the truck and started sprinting its way through the woods towards Wayne Manor and the well behind it.

Xander turned around from his portable work station in the trailer of the truck, walked to the front wall and sat down in the bucket seat that was sitting there.

Depressing a button on that was next to the seat belt, the wall between the cab and the trailer opened up, and the seat once again slid back into the front of the semi truck; the wall sealing behind him.

Xander flipped the switches that would focus the command screens to the images coming from the Bat-clank; the signal was being bounced from the Bat-clank to Toots, the little clank, and then from Toots to Starscream in a tight-beam laser, only to have the signal bounced back to the cab of Optimus where Xander was enthroned. It was all about plausible deniability. The tight beam and the multi-bounce would enable Xander to control the Bat-clank while still staying a safe distance away in case the fecal matter hit the high speed air oscillation device.

Putting on his headset, Xander saw that the Bat-Clank and Toots were nearing the lip of the well behind Wayne Manor.

"It's show time." Xander mumbled to himself. "Ok clanks, commence insertion into the Batcave, be careful not to be seen by the Batman and look out for any sensors that may be lining the shaft." He commanded his minions.

Xander watched the images coming from the Bat-clank's sensors, he was thankful that he had included the sonar as there were a few close calls as the clank maneuvered through the tight confines of passage as well as the reinforced metal bat shutters that were meant to keep all non-bat intruders from reaching the cave. The clank sent Xander a signal relaying an image of a shutter control device. Apparently the Batman had considered intruders coming through the small shutters, and they looked to be rigged to close after the bats had returned from their nightly feedings.

"Whew, lucky we came here during the evening then, isn't it." Xander postulated to nobody in particular; however Optimus was nice enough to answer back with an "Affirmative."

The bat-clank took three really sharp turns in an 'S' like pattern before Xander saw that it had come out into a gigantic cavern.

It was awesome! The cavern was made of a mix of layers of dark granite and other hardened igneous rocks with stalactites and stalagmites jaggedly shooting from the ceiling and floor. A river poured through the depths of the cave far below, and Xander could see the batboat moored on a doc. The bat-copter and bat-jet were secured to mechanical lift devices from the ceiling and far below them the Bat-clank's optical sensors saw a motor-pool area with different models of Batmobile present. Above the river and below the hanging aircraft were multiple floors of catwalks and work areas, all in gleaming metal with incandescent track lighting built into the edges of the floors. Focusing on the area with the cars, Xander was able to see that the tank like Batmobile was there, along with some of the sleeker versions; even the original blue model, with the bubble cockpits, from the 70's was present. It was everything that Xander could ever hope for.

Directing the Bat-clank to fly down to get a better view, Xander had the Bat-clank invert itself upside down and had it attach itself to the cavern's roof, granting Xander a 360 degree view of the cavern.

Xander was absolutely going crazy in a haze of fan-boy induced excitement. He was actually looking at the inside of the real Batcave! There was the science center, the equipment armory, the costume display area. It even had an extremely large screen attached to the Batcomputer, and Batman was sitting in front of it!

The little voice in Xander's head spoke to him, "Wait, rewind, double check. Yep, we're screwed, the batman is here." The little voice stated in a tone that foretold oncoming doom.

"Wait a second, he hasn't seen us yet, we should be alright." Xander stated out loud to the little voice in his head.

"Since when has luck ever let us get out of a situation the easy way?" The little voice reminded Xander in a condescending voice.

"Fair point." Xander cringingly replied, totally oblivious to the fact that he was having a debate with his inner monologue.

Xander continued to pan the cameras in the Bat-clank around the cave. Yep, sure enough, there was Batman looking at some data on the Joker's latest jail break from Arkham asylum.

Xander was torn on what to do. On one hand he was excited to see Batman in his 'native habitat.' On the other hand, Xander was fearful of getting caught, especially getting caught before he got a good view of the museum exhibits and really got to look at the devices secreted about the cave.

"If only I could get him to leave, then I could poke around a bit more easily without getting caught." Xander said to himself. "It's too bad that the batlight can't go off right now and signal Batman that he is needed in the city." He continued speaking to himself.

'_Oh, the batlight!'_ A thought popped into his head. Xander flipped two switches on his mic and was connected to the trailer of the last truck in his convoy.

"Hey, I need a rocket clank to jet on over to Gotham Police headquarters and flip on the Batlight pronto like. I don't care which one of you does it, but I need it done right now." Xander stated as he flipped the switch from talk to listen.

The sounds of fighting between the clanks could be heard. Xander just face palmed himself and then clicked the mic to talk again. "Ok, the first rocket clank that I built, you get to go. How many times have I told you guys not to fight over who gets to help me? Stop messing around and get going" He commanded.

A reply of musical toots and honks and tweets was his reply, and the sound of a rocket engine firing could be heard from outside the truck's window.

Xander waited and watched Bruce Wayne working at the bat computer. Data and past engagements between Batman and the Joker were flashing on the screen. Xander was shocked to see Joker's crimes listed on the screen. The villain was worse than most of the comic books or cartoons ever really showed. Murderer was a mild term to describe the Joker, psychotic genocidal maniac would probably be a better descriptor for the psycho. Xander merely shook his head in disgust that the Joker continued to be allowed to live and prosper while good people died.

In the back of his head, Xander kind of blamed Batman for the deaths of the innocent that were listed on that giant computer screen. Time and time again Batman had beaten joker and captured him, sent him off to jail for life. Why Gotham didn't have the death penalty Xander would never understand. Xander felt a wave of both respect and disgust flow through him as he looked at Batman and reviewed what he knew of Batman's actions when facing the multitude of villains who populated Gotham. Sure the hero lived by his code of conduct, but Xander felt that there were some villains that could never be redeemed and were just better off dead.

A red light started flashing on the control dashboard in the truck, and Xander turned his attention to the little screen it was attached to. Flipping the switch, Xander saw the rocket-clank using its directed flame to cut through the chains locking the on/off switch to the bat light that sat on the top of the Gotham PD's headquarters building. Xander saw the clank successfully cut through the lock, and then throw the lever which ignited the huge spotlight; projecting the image of 'the bat' onto the clouds above the city. Xander immediately turned his attention back to the image of Batman at work on his computer in the cave.

Xander watched as the computer screen in front of Batman switched from the image of the Joker to display a red bat symbol which was flashing in time to a loud klaxon alarm. Xander watched as Bruce Wayne pulled the cowl of his costume over his head, and then ran off and jumped into the Batmobile.

Xander smiled to himself. His ploy had worked.

* * *

The Bat-clank flew through the Batcave and fluttered through its depths, mapping out the details and recording everything for Xander's future watching enjoyment.

The Bat-clank swooped and soared throughout the cave. Xander had originally meant to only examine the cavern when he had first had the idea of breaking in, but now he figured that while he was here he might as well look over the museum and see if he could find the Nth Metal that had originally brought him to Wayne Manor.

In directing his clank towards the exhibit area, Xander became a bit distracted by a green glowing pit of some sort of chemicals. Directing his clank to flutter over the pit, a flash of realization hit Xander like a bolt from the blue.

The glowing chemical pool beneath his Bat-clank was a Lazarus Pit!

"If I can tap the powers of the Lazarus Pit I may be able to create a power source similar to that which ran the Castle Heterodyne." Xander exclaimed in wonder as he gazed at the pictures coming to him through the screen.

"Bat-clank, flutter down to the edge of the pool and take a sample of the chemical makeup. We will need to analyze it to see if we can figure out how to track it to a usable location as well as for figuring out how to work this into a new change in our plans." Xander directed.

The Bat-clank fluttered down to the rocky shore of the pit and leaned down as if to drink from the chemical ooze. Opening its mouth, a thin translucent straw telescoped out of the Bat-clank's mouth and into the Lazarus Pit; the green glowing fluid was then seen to flow up the straw and into the body of the Bat-clank.

Finished with its task, the Bat-clank withdrew the straw and again continued its flight. Xander was thinking furiously about the possibilities that could be opened to him through the use of the fluid, but just like the Nth Metal, he would have to find a ready and available supply first before he could do anything with it.

The Bat-clank flew its way into Batman's museum. It circled the giant penny, flew up and around the animatronic T-Rex from Dinosaur Island, and then around the collections of knick-knacks that Batman had collected from his many battles with the numerous villains of this world. Sure enough, in the middle of the displays was a pair of brass knuckles that the Bat-clank's sensors said was made out of Nth Metal.

"Well, I'm not going to steal that." Xander stated. Figuring that he might as well look around while he was there, he moved the Bat-clank through the rest of the displays.

There was a wooden ventriloquist's doll that had numerous bullet holes in it, there was a burlap sack like mask with one eye hole in it, a toy flower that shot acid and a joy-buzzer that would give a person quiet a jolt. A red monk's hood caught Xander's attention, as he remembered that there were some pretty nasty vampires around in this universe; vampires that seemed to like to target Gotham. In another glass display Xander could see guns of all sorts. One that had a flag that said "Bang!" on it, one that must have been Dr. Freeze's gun, and one that was simply labled as a "Shrink Ray."

Xander was busy geeking out on all of the displays in the museum when the auditory devices on Xander's monitors played the sound of a loud metallic bang.

Xander felt a cold tingle trickle down his back, and he was beginning to think that Murphy and his lady friend bad luck had probably come to visit him again.

Sure enough, as he directed the Bat-clank to fly towards the ceiling, he noted that the swarm of bats was fluttering throughout the cave as it settled in from its evening hunt. Worried, Xander flew the Bat-clank towards the metal shutters.

The shutters were closed. Xander's Bat-clank was stuck in the Batcave.

"Damn it! I have to get that sample from the Lazarus Pit. I've got to find a way out of there." Xander angrily cursed.

Directing the Bat-clank towards the door that the boat, plane, and car exited, Xander found that they all were also locked.

'_Should I try the door into the Manor?'_ He thought to himself.

Unfortunately, the steel door to the manner was also closed and locked tightly.

'_Ok Xander, you're a genius now. You've got to think of something good to get out of this mess.'_ He reflected. '_If you can't find a hole to get out of there, you're just going to have to make one for yourself.'_ Xander postulated.

Flying back towards the museum, Xander struggled to find something strong enough to blast a hole out of the tightly secured cavern.

Fluttering around a corner of a laboratory, Xander literally ran into the answer to his problem.

A static thud sound rang through Xander's headset and the screens went fuzzy for a second as the bat-clank flew head first into an unmoving orange and green figure of some sort.

Quickly righting itself before it could hit the ground, the Bat-clank rose from the ground to hover so that it could see what it had just run into.

There, standing in front of Xander's hovering Bat-clank was the headless body of the android Amazo.

Xander was literally agog, mouth wide open and brain rebooting as the little mad genius inside of him screamed, "I Want It! Give Me Give Me Give Me!"

Amazo was simply that, an amazing creation of a mad scientist searching for the ability to impart immortality upon himself. Inside that brainless body lay the combined powers of Superman and the Flash as well as the ability to absorb the powers of other super powered beings; whether they be super heroes or super villains. Ok, so since it was headless it no longer had the heat ray or x-ray vision eyes of Superman, nor was it as durable as superman as shown by its lack of a head. However it was still incredibly strong, could fly, and could almost outrace The Flash. Sure the android had been bat shit crazy, but then again so was the mad scientist Ivo who created Amazo.

Then again, Xander didn't really care about crazy. After all, there was a 52.3% chance that some people would call Xander himself crazy, what with his penchant for robots who often spouted comedy routines or quotes from movies. That chance of being perceived as crazy increased exponentially if anybody was around to hear him when he broke out in the occasional bout of evil sounding laughter and the inevitable mad cackle.

Concentrating on the task at hand, Xander remembered a cartoon movie about Batman fighting the reborn Robin who had been killed by the Joker only to come back to life and call himself the Red Hood. Somehow in the battles between Batman, the Red Hood, and the Black Mask a battle had taken place between Batman, Nightwing and Amazo; ending when Amazo lost his head due to an explosive Batarang. What was left of that body was now standing right in front of Xander's Bat-clank.

The headless body of Amazo was his ticket out of here; he just needed to lend the headless being a little brain power.

"Ok, change of plans, again." Xander declared, "And since we are going to be leaving a bit of a hole, we might as well steal something else to throw the Batman off track if he comes looking for his missing super-sized action figure; got to love that punching action and ninja grip."

With that, Xander maneuvered the Bat-clank to land on the dismembered neck of Amazo. As the Bat-clank landed on the headless body, it sank its claws into its perch, and little metal cables started to burst through the skin of the Bat-clank. The cables sunk into the body of Amazo, squelching as they pushed through the flesh of the android's corpse and sparking as they made connections to the metallic neurological system and spinal cord of the deceased supervillain.

Information flooded the screens in front of Xander as he successfully hijacked Amazo's body.

"Super Strength online, check. Flight capability, check. Super running speed seems to be a bit damaged from an injury to the leg. Looks like it is missing all functionality associated with mental capabilities, imaging, etcetera. But go figure, what else can you expect when its missing a brain and the head that goes with it." Xander detailed as he listed off the information that the screens were giving him.

"Ok, when I start this bugger moving, I'm going to have to grab the decoy items fast and blast out of here quickly before any of the Batcave's security functions can come into play." Xander explained to himself as he cricked his neck from side to side. Depressing a lever on his control board, two joysticks raised themselves out of the armrests on his chair.

"Let's hope all of that time playing 'The Last Starfighter' arcade game comes in handy and I can make it out of here in one piece." Xander declared as he took a couple deep breaths and began to get ready to control Amazo's flight.

The body of Amazo took flight, immediately going into a vertical superman pose at it shot straight towards the roof, only to do a fast dive towards the museum area.

The response from the security alarms in the Batcave were immediate. Red lights began to flash, klaxons sounded, and the Batcomputer began to attempt to auto connect to Batman in his Batmobile.

While all of this automated process was going on, Xander was in the midst of doing a smash and grab on the first display case that he came to, the display of weapons.

To Xander at the controls of Amazo, it seemed as if time slowed down. In the brief instance that Amazo had taken flight, Xander was already plotting his course towards the weapons display. After all, if there was one thing all mad scientists wanted and needed, besides a super-mechanized headless android body with which to experiment, it was a shrink ray.

In the blink of an eye, and at speeds faster than a speeding bullet, Xander ducked the android into the weapons display, broke the glass, snatched the shrink ray, and rocketed towards the rocky ceiling of the cavern.

"Here's hoping that Amazo is made out of super strong materials." Xander mumbled as he mentally crossed his fingers.

Just as the android was about to impact the roof of cavern head first, Xander triggered the arms of the corpse to swing forward in a mighty blow.

Xander could hear the explosion through the windows of the truck as static filled the view screens and headsets on his ears.

One second passed, two seconds, and then a third and a forth second before the screens became active; showing that Amazo was airborne in the skies above Wayne Manor.

"Woo Hoo!" Xander shouted as he released the joysticks and pumped his fists. Unfortunately, letting go of the joysticks was a bad idea, and the android decided to plow through a bunch of trees, effectively turning a swath of the forest around Wayne Manor into nothing more than kindling.

"Um, oops. Uh, I meant to do that." Xander winced as he quickly took control of Amazo and directed it to shoot towards the clouds.

High above Xander and the manor below, Starscream slowed to a hover and its cockpit opened up, allowing Amazo to land safely inside before Starscream again closed its cockpit and accelerated to top speed; heading away from Gotham as quickly as possible.

"Ok convoy, get us the hell out of here." Xander shouted, quickly flipping switches, dongles, and toggles to get the truck back into its original configuration.

"We've really outworn our welcome in this part of the world." He hurriedly relayed over the radio to his trucks, "Move it out double time!"

A 'Toot Toot' sounded from outside the truck, and the little clank that had been the relay hopped in through the open passenger window of Optimus.

The convoy pulled off the side of the road and rapidly put distance between them, Wayne Manor, and Gotham city.

By the time that the Batmobile returned to its cave, Xander and his minions were long gone.

* * *

**AN: I love holidays. Plenty of time to write, and I'm enjoying this story, so I'm going to see if I can knock out another chapter. I'll probably be ready to write a couple of chapters of Freak of Nature and Aspects of Death after I catch up to where I want to be in this fic. Cheers!**

**Edit: (chapter 8 is finished and will be posted in a few days after I've had a chance to edit it a bit more*)**


	8. Chapter 8: World Domination Starts

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, girl genius verse, DC comics or any of that, so give it a rest.

**AN:** **I write because I enjoy it. I hope you enjoy what I write.**

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* * *

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'_Thought_'

"Speech"

**Chapter 8: World Domination Starts At Home**

"What do you want to do tonight Brain? ""The same thing we do every night Pinky, Try to take over the world!" ~Pinky & The Brain

Bruce Wayne was not happy, not happy at all. He worked hard as the Batman, and he worked equally as hard at keeping up the idiot playboy image of Bruce Wayne and keeping that image as far away as possible from any inferences of him being the Batman. To think that both his alter ego and his life as Batman had taken a blow within the last week did not make him happy, not happy at all.

Bruce sat before the Batcomputer with a glare pasted on his face as he tried to figure out what the hell had happened during the last week.

First, somebody had made a fool of Hawkgirl, humiliating her on national TV and broadcasting the entire fight to the world. Hawkgirl and the Green Lantern were not amused and were looking for somebody to blame it on. He'd kept his own copy of the video for his files, simply for official hero business purposes of course; that was his argument and he was sticking to it.

Second, somebody had pranked him, sending the copies of the Hawkgirl video right from the mailbox at his mansion. He had double checked the security cameras and the only thing out of place that he had seen was a small triangular shaped shadow moving by his mailbox and then disappeared out into the night. The prankster even had the gall to post mark the return address as 'Wayne Manor, Care of Bruce Wayne.' This of course had gotten back to Hawkgirl and Green Lantern and they had rounded on him with their displeasure. It was only upon asking them if they really believed that he would prank them, that they relented in their urge to beat the crap out of him. Bruce still didn't know whether to be offended or pleased by the fact that both heroes had agreed that he had no sense of humor, so couldn't really be behind the prank.

Third, the press had tried to connect Bruce Wayne with Hawkgirl. That was something that Batman absolutely couldn't afford to let propagate through the news as his alter ego of Bruce Wayne needed to be kept separate from his hero work if he wanted to continue helping the people of Gotham. His public relations organization had quickly stepped in to quash the rumors of any involvement with any heroes as well as suggesting that Bruce Wayne wasn't the hero type. Again, Bruce wasn't sure if he should be offended at the insult or proud that the image he tried to portray had been successful. A few news stations didn't want to let the connection between Bruce Wayne and Hawkgirl disappear, but he had solved that problem by buying the news stations and firing the reporters who had been giving him the problems; after all, rank and money hath its privileges.

Forth, there was the break in at the Batcave. Anybody who knew that Batman was connected to Bruce Wayne was a serious threat to the continued operations of Batman. There had been break-ins at the Batcave in the past, but never where somebody had stolen such dangerous weapons as the shrink ray and the headless body of Amazo. He was convinced that whoever had worked their way into the Batcave had done so specifically to steal the body and the weapon, but he absolutely couldn't figure out the connection between the two of them. He had tried to follow the path of the mechanical bat that had hijacked Amazo's corpse, but Bruce was chagrined to learn that there were deficiencies in his security camera coverage towards the top of the cavern's roof. This, added to the fact that the mechanical device was an exact replica of a bat, made it impossible to differentiate the path it had taken as opposed to the flights of the other bats. There was no telling what other devices or places the robotic bat had tampered with, so Bruce was forced to do a spring cleaning and inventory every single part of the cave; thank God for Alfred and his ever present assistance. Bruce had tried to get Nightwing or Batgirl to come help him out, but both were busy with their own jobs in Bludhaven.

That led to the fifth problem that Batman was facing. For some reason Superman thought that the stink bomb that had forced the Lexcorp Towers to evacuate had to be connected with the destruction of an old Metropolis junk yard. Superman had pushed the problem off onto Batman as he was the preeminent detective in the Justice League.

No, Batman was not happy at all.

'_Why do they always have to give their problems to me to solve?'_ Bruce groused to himself in his head. _'Don't they know that I have my own problems to deal with?" _

Bruce hit a few more keys on his computer, trying to link together the happenings on the Hawkgirl situation with what had happened to his Batcave. If somebody was targeting the members of the the Jutice League, then that villain would become priority number one for not only him, but the rest of the league as well. Bruce still couldn't figure out the motive for the attack on Hawkgirl or the subsequent video; other than the video's possible resell value on the celebrity sex tape market. Everything that the computer told him was that both the Hawkgirl attack and Batcave break-in were totally separate, his computer also added that the random actions of the robot's combat were opposite of the break in and the incredible precision and timing that it would take to get in through the bat shutters and hijack Amazo. The sheer magnitude of different obstacles to surmount in a robbery of the Batcave made it almost impossible for somebody to just happen across the android with the right tool to hijack it, get into the Batcave while calling Batman away from it, all while doing so without leaving a trace other than a giant hole in the ceiling. The snatching of the old shrink ray didn't make sense either. To top it off, there had been no encrypted communications relayed during the entire endeavor, nor had the system picked up any radio transmissions out of the norm. The professional, or professionals, who had robbed the cave had even destroyed the artificial tree that had surveyed the back of the mansion; leaving a swath of destruction through the woods behind the Manor.

"Whom ever did this is a certifiable genius and had way too much knowledge about the inner workings of the cave." Batman stated to himself as he picked up the phone to schedule the confidential repair of the ceiling of his cavern; as well as the installation of even more security gear for the cave. He made a mental note to review his files on the security and construction debartments of Wayne Enterprises that he hired for work on the cave, to make sure that they hadn't provided any inside information or been involved in the robbery.

"Absolutely nobody could ever be lucky enough to have pulled this off on the fly." Batman said to himself.

* * *

Xander had been incredibly lucky to pull off the heist of Amazo and the sample of the chemicals from the Lazarus Pit; both would be invaluable to his efforts to not only survive this crazy new dimension but to also thrive in it. The whole invasion of the Batcave from start to finish had been a series of fortunate, or unfortunate, events that all added up to what Xander considered an absolute success. One voice in the back of his head, however, said that it wasn't as successful as it could have been in that he didn't grab the Nth Metal. A second voice in his head said that it was the right decision as he didn't want Batman to put two and two together and figure out that the person who had robbed his cave was also the one who had framed him for filming the battle with Hawkgirl. The second voice continued to argue that had Xander given into the temptation to take the Nth Metal brass-knuckles that it wouldn't be long before Batman put two and two together and figured out that it was related to the fact that Hawkgirl's mace was also made out of the rare ore Nth Metal. The third voice in the back of Xander's head told the other two voices to shut up, as it was busy trying to hold Xander's bladder.

Xander's truck convoy hadn't stopped driving west since they had robbed the Batcave. That was a whole twenty hours of driving without stop. The nice thing about having self powered robotic trucks is that, A. You don't have to do the actual driving, you can just tell the trucks what to do, and B. You don't have to stop for fuel. There are a few inherent problems with having a semi-sentient truck. Namely, A. You don't get the excuse of stopping to get gas, and B. Xander hadn't installed a bathroom in Optimus's crew cab; even robots get pissed off when they get pissed on. So it was that at the twenty hour mark Xander had run out of coke bottles to pee into and was in serious need of a pit stop.

It was then that as he was trucking along the two lane back road highways in the mountainous portion of Montana, he came over a pass in the mountains and saw a quaint town down in the large valley below him.

Xander questioned to himself whether he was far enough away from Gotham to take a break, but the fact that Mother Nature was screaming at him, i.e. his bladder was threatening to explode, made the decision for him; he really didn't want his epitaph to be 'Death by Burst Bladder.' Pulling off the road, and into the quaint little town, Xander focused in on a little café that would probably have a bathroom he could use.

'_A little human company wouldn't be too bad either._' Xander thought as he hopped out of the truck and made the quick walk towards the café's doors.

Xander walked through the doors of the small Montana cafe and immediately tripped over his untied shoelaces. It was lucky for him that he did so, as the shotgun blast that would have hit him in the head missed Xander by a foot.

Time slowed for Xander as he turned his trip into a roll, the time it took him to hit the ground and roll forward showed him that the shotgun wielding leather wearing motor cycle gang member who had just shot at him was standing next to the cash register on the opposite side of the café.

As Xander came out of his roll, time continuing to move in slow motion, Xander saw the punk with the shotgun trying to track his motion so that the punk could get a second shot off at Xander.

Xander's eyes took in the full layout of the café in that second, as information detailing velocity of the aiming shotgun, the geometry of the arc angles and the distance between the shotgun wielding thug and Xander all calculated through Xander's head. Even with time seeming to slow down and Xander moving at incredible speeds, he didn't think he could cover the distance before the punk's discharge pattern from the shotgun would either hit Xander or the other patron's sitting behind him at the café's booths and tables.

Xander's hand whipped towards the right and snagged a saucer out from under a cup of coffee that was resting on a table, grabbing it so fast that the coffee cup didn't even have time to spill before Xander was already flinging the ceramic saucer at the thug with all his might.

The flying saucer left a 'zinging' sound as it blurred across the room and left a sick squelching sound upon impact.

The shotgun totting punk only had enough time to realize that something didn't feel right, before his body tilted forward, and his head fell off backwards.

Blood spurted from the stump of the gang member's stub of a neck as the falling body twitched and discharged the shotgun into the wall above Xander's head.

Time seemed to speed up as the patrons who had been held hostage merely stared at the falling corpse with open mouths; a waitress holding a carafe of coffee didn't even think to move as the blood spurted out of the body and soiled her shoes.

However, before anybody could begin to act, a second black leather wearing tough walked out of the bathroom, took one look at the headless body of his buddy, and went to reach for the large pistol that was in a holster on his hip.

Xander wasn't about to let any of these innocent towns folk get shot, let alone himself.

Xander's left arm blurred as he swept a fork out of the hand of one of the dining patrons and flung it at the second bad-guy.

The fork went flying, tines first, across the room, driving into the moving hand of the second biker and nailing the biker's hand to the bathroom door behind him; making a nice twanging sound as the handle of the fork vibrated from the force of the impact.

Everybody in the café looked at Xander. Then they looked at the headless corpse. Then they looked at Xander. Then they looked at the biker who was silently crying and attempting to dislodge his hand from the bathroom door. Then they looked at Xander and stared open mouth at him.

They stared, and stared, and stared. The second waitress who had been pouring coffee for another patron continued to stare as well, unaware that the cup she was pouring coffee into was overflowing; even the man who was having hot coffee poured on his lap was totally oblivious to the situation.

Every patron and staff member in the café was silent as they stared at Xander; somewhere in the back of the café a cricket chirped.

"Um, if this is a bad time, I can come back later?" Xander cringed and pulled his hand up to rub the back of his neck, this was a little uncomfortable.

At Xander's statement, all hell broke loose.

Women were crying. One cute blonde waitress hugged Xander as she cried with relief, shaking from the adrenaline rush as the men got up and started beating the crap out of the thug who was stuck to the door. People were coming up to Xander and shaking his hand while the blonde still clung to him, and one old granny walked up to the headless corpse and spit on it.

"You're welcome. Yes, you're welcome too. No madam, I don't do this often. Your welcome sir, glad to help." Xander replied to all of the well wishers, the blonde still in his arms was now nuzzling his neck, making the situation that much more surreal.

The thanks and kowtowing to Xander were getting a bit extreme, and Xander was starting to get a bit weirded out by the instant hero worship of the towns folk and the nuzzling from the waitress.

"Ok, you're welcome. Ok, ok people… That's enough!" Xander started out polite, but got fed up and just yelled at the end.

The reaction from the townsfolk was again interesting as they all immediately quieted down and gave him their immediate attention.

'_Ok, so that's just a little bit freaky.' _Xander thought to himself as he looked out over the crowd of eyes all focused on him.

"Soooo." Xander dragged out, "Just what the hell was going on around here before I interrupted on my way to a bathroom break?" He questioned.

The response was immediate as everybody in the room started to speak all at once, it reminded Xander of how his clanks acted when they all wanted to serve him at the same time.

"Wait! One at a time!" Xander settled down the crowd. "You sir, yes you with the cane and the hunched back, just what is going on here?" Xander demanded.

"Well," The old man explained as he moved his focus to gaze deeply into Xander's eyes, again freaking Xander out just a bit. "This is the town of Hetdin. And what you interrupted was some of the punks who work for the bank president doing the bank president's dirty work."

Xander nodded for the man to continue speaking, while semi-forcefully situating the waitress in his arms onto an available café stool.

"Ya see, this here city and the surrounding hundred miles or so are something of an anomaly. The founder of the town back in the 1800's, Dr. Hetdin, had been something of an inventor and adventurer and had moved out here with a band of people who he had originally rescued from slavery to the Barbary pirates."

Xander smiled and nodded, but all the while his thoughts were screaming at him that this entire situation was outright crazy.

The old man took Xander's nodding to mean that he should continue with his story, rather than the real meaning of Xander's nod which was 'smile and nod at the crazy man.'

"Well, to make a long story short. Dr. Hetdin got out here to the west so early that the later settler's took him and his dark tanned followers to be a semi-peaceful Indian tribe. He didn't see the harm in correcting them at the time, and now this part of the state is similar to an Indian reservation in that it is sovereign territory. And the new bank president, well he is buying up all of the land or using his gang of thugs to terrorize the people so that he can control everything around here." The old man continued.

Xander stood there thinking for a second, parts of the old man's story were right out every western movie that he had ever seen, only this was real life with a weird twist and a side order of crazy.

Xander gathered his thoughts for another second before addressing the old man. "Ok, I get it. Before we continue, what's your name? I can't really keep having a conversation with a guy that I mentally refer to as old man."

"Oh, well nice of you to ask. My name is Ian Gore." The hunched old man stated as he offered his hand to shake.

Xander did a double take as he was almost sure that the man had said that his name was 'Igor', but Xander covered his mental gaff by shaking the man's hand and smiling.

"Ok Ian. Not that I'm much of a hero. But my name's Xander and I do happen to be a gentleman adventurer and a bit of an inventor, sounds like I'm a bit like your Dr. Hetdin." Xander explained. "Is there something I can do to help fix up the situation you folks are facing?" Xander questioned.

When Xander mentioned that he was both a gentleman adventurer as well as an inventor, a gleam seemed to flash over the eyes of the towns' folks, and a big smile grew across the face of every one of them. The waitress that had previously been hugging Xander seemed to shudder for a second, and then looked up at Xander with a dreamy expression across her face.

Once again, the crowd of people all started to talk at once, but this time Ian, or 'Igor' as Xander thought of him, raised his hand and the crowd stilled.

"Yes sir, there is something you can do for us. Ya see, we have been without leadership since Dr. Hetdin passed away some 50 years ago due to a freak lab accident. Seeing as we are a sovereign state, if you could help us out, then we may just be able to work something out with you." The smiles of the people took on an eerie twist at this final statement.

Xander continued to smile and nod at the slightly crazy man, all the while his brain was going a million miles a minute.

'_Ok, these people are a bit weird, but either way, I'm not going to leave these innocent people to be beat on and terrorized by gun toting thugs and this bank president.' _Xander's thoughts were prefaced by the sound of a boot repeatedly silencing the moaning thug who was still pinned to the bathroom door; leaving the thug laying unconscious and held up only by the fork.

'_On second hand, maybe not so innocent. However I still have to do something about this bank president and his gang of thugs.' _Xander thought, finishing nodding his head and then vocally answering the people.

"Alright folks, you all stay here and I'll deal with the thugs and their boss. We can talk about what to do next after that." Xander answered.

The people were all smiles, and Ian nodded at Xander's statement. "You'll find the bank manager at the large compound at the top of the hill." The man explained.

Backing out the door, Xander turned and walked towards Optimus, Xander's bathroom break could wait till after he dealt with this latest crazy situation that was before him.

"Optimus, unlock the side armory, I think I need the Boom-stick and the shrink ray." Xander stated as he walked up to his truck.

A five foot by four foot section on the side of Optimus's crew cab extended out of the truck and towards Xander. When it was a full foot telescoped out from the side of the truck, the five foot by four foot section split down a hidden middle seam and hinged to the sides.

As the hinged sides moved out of the way, blue florescent lighting illuminated the armory that was displayed inside.

The first thing Xander looked over was the guns of all sizes. Shotguns, pistols, ray guns, assault rifles, sniper rifles, marshmallow guns, and a weird double-tube shoulder fired gun were all neatly presented in holding slots throughout the display. In addition to the guns were wooden stakes, silver coated stakes, sharpened silver crosses, and even a few bottles of holy water and a chain whip like device. Xander first pulled out the shrink ray that he had stolen from Batman and then pulled down the double-tube shoulder fired gun, aka the Boom-stick.

Stepping back, Xander rested the Boom-stick on his shoulder and slid the shrink ray down the back of his jeans; he really hoped he didn't trip and shrink his buttocks.

* * *

The buildings in the town of Hetdin looked to be a mix of Bavarian and old western make. The street was cobbled and weird gargoyle like lampposts lined the cobblestoned path. Xander couldn't figure out why, but this whole situation was really giving him a sense of Déjà vu. He couldn't figure out why it felt so familiar, as this looked absolutely nothing like Sunnydale California.

Not waiting to watch the armory retract back into his truck, Xander began to walk up the cobble stoned main street of the town towards what looked to be a newly constructed concrete gated compound; built around a series of trailer homes and one prefabricated home that were parked outside of what looked to be a large stone medieval looking chateau. The old chateau and the newer looking wall sat on a hill that was perched over the town and would give a good view of the valley surrounding it.

As Xander walked up the street, his truck convoy slowly followed behind him by about fifteen feet, slowly rolling up the street.

The day was nice and sunny and the walk towards the concrete gated structure seemed to be going well, that was until he walked by the town's saloon.

Parked in front of the bar were a row of motor cycles and several dirty scruffy looking guys wearing leather pants, chaps, jackets, and vests.

Now Xander didn't have any personal problem or disrespect for motorcycle clubs, however this group of guys looked to be up to no good for as soon as they saw Xander walking up the street they all got off of their motorcycles, and the porch of the bar, and moved to block the width of the street.

"Guys, I'm not here to deal with you at the moment, I'm going to talk to your boss." Xander preempted any comments from the motorcycle gang.

One fat motorcycle gang member wearing nothing but leather pants, an open leather vest, and his fat belly hanging out over the top of his leather pants, moved forward to confront Xander.

"Well the boss don't want to talk to you, and you ain't getting through me and the boys here. So get lost before we have to kick the shit out of you." The fat guy threatened.

Xander sighed, "Guys, I don't have time for you, and you really don't want to meet my little friends." Xander explained exasperated.

"Oh yeah! You and what little friends?" The fat guy jeered, breaking the beer bottle in his hand and pointing the jagged end towards Xander.

Xander's eyes gleamed and he smiled evilly back at the biker gang. The smile made a few of the smarter members of the motor cycle gang take a step back as they realized something wasn't right about that look. Unfortunately for them, it was too late.

"I was hoping you would say that." Xander cackled. "Say hello to my little friends!" Xander finished the last part with a shout.

With that, a swarm of a thousand little clanks launched themselves off of the roofs of the buildings from both sides of the street, dive bombing the gang members. Hundreds of additional clanks charged out from underneath the trucks or flew off of the tops of the trucks; they even climbed out of Xander's pockets to charge across the distance to the beer bottle wielding thugs.

The swarm of thousands of little clanks washed over the motorcycle gang members, systematically beating the ever living shit out of the people who had dared to threaten their creator.

Xander merely enjoyed the show as a myriad of bronze clanks with glowing red eyes helped add a bit more of the color red to the cobble stoned streets of Hetdin.

"Hey guys, don't kill them. We'll let the townsfolk deal with them after I get done dealing with their boss. Let's see if the other gang members can be reasoned with." Xander stated, his evil smile painted on his face for all to see.

The clanks reply was to pick up the unconscious gang members and throw them through the plate glass window of the bar. The clanks then poured into the bar, where the sounds of a new battle arose.

Xander merely smiled and began to whistle to himself as he continued his stroll up the street towards the concrete and steel gated compound.

Behind him in the windows lining the street, evil grins were painted across the towns' folks faces, perhaps their time had finally come.

* * *

Xander had walked about another one hundred feet before he felt that he was at a proper distance from the compound to see if the boss felt like talking.

Hoisting the Boom-stick to his shoulder, Xander looked through the targeting scope and depressed the trigger.

"Knock knock." Xander stated, right as the double tubes of the Boom-stick disgorged two blue glowing balls of energy that rapidly twisted and spiraled around each other on their path towards the compound's steel doors.

Right as the balls were about to hit the gates to the compound, they seemed to merge together, and there was a brief slight sucking sound, as if an industrial wind tunnel was set to reverse.

Less than a second later, the combined mass of the glowing blue energy made a gigantic 'BOOM' sound, and a twenty foot spherical cross section of the ground, gates, and walls simply ceased to exist in this dimension.

"Bwa ha ha ha." Xander chuckled under his breath, "It worked!" He finished.

Xander again rested the Boom-stick on his shoulder and began to whistle a tune that he recognized as something from his Heterodyne memories.

Walking down into the crater, and starting back up the other side, Xander saw approximately thirty thugs charge out of the trailer homes, guns a blazing.

Time slowed down, and Xander dived to seek partial cover behind the lip of the crater, simultaneously dropping the Boom-stick and pulling the shrink-ray out from the back of his jeans.

In the instant it took him to drop prone, he had noted the position and movement of the shooters as well as the trajectory of the incoming bullets.

Xander's instantaneous reply to the barrage and charge of thugs was a to allow his body to take over, as he rapid fired the ray gun so quickly that the individual 'zapping' sounds merged into one long drawn out ZAP.

Less than a second later, Xander found himself being pelted with a smattering of dust particles and charged by a horde of four inch tall midgets wearing biker leathers; as all of the incoming projectiles and hostiles had been effectively shrunk.

Xander smiled.

The biker midgets 'Eeped' and tried to reverse direction.

Then it was Xander's turn to live out his fantasy of being Godzilla in downtown Tokyo.

Many midget bikers lost their lives that day…

* * *

After kicking in the door to the prefabricated house, Xander again proceeded to shrink and squash several more bikers before he found who he assumed was the bank manager; the man was hiding in a closet.

After pulling the man out of the closet, some manhandling, and a squashing of a midget biker as an example of what could happen if the president didn't agree to everything that Xander mandated, Xander was now the proud owner of his own bank as well as all of the land and assets that the former bank president had owned.

Xander still shrunk and squashed the bank president as Xander didn't really feel right about letting a guy who had tried to kill him live to attack him sometime in the future. He'd read way too many comic books where the 'hero' shows mercy on the villain, only for the villain to come back and try to kill the hero later. Besides, it was standard Scooby practice to slay the big bad before moving on to the next apocalypse.

With that, Xander exited the prefabricated house with a smile on his face, only to be shocked to see the thousands of town members from Hetdin crowded into the walled area surrounding the medieval looking chateau and packed the streets for as far as Xander could see.

The towns folk were silent, all of them staring hungrily at Xander from their places around him or from their perches on the top of the buildings.

Xander gulped for a moment at the perceived pressure of the eyes upon him. He was unnerved by all of the people staring at him, and didn't know what to do until he saw Ian waving at him to come over to the front door of the large mansion.

Xander moved away from the prefabricated house, and the crowd between Xander and the stone chateau parted like Moses and the Red Sea, providing a clear path for him to proceed forward, but nowhere to really escape too.

The faces of people were stoic, but a strange almost cheery glow seemed to issue from their eyes as Xander walked down the aisle they had made for him on his way to join Ian in front of the chateau.

Xander finally reached Ian, and realized that the formerly open path through the crowd behind him was now clogged with townsfolk.

"Um, Ian, I've dealt with the bank president and his gang of thugs. They shouldn't give you any more problems, and you will find a few more of them housed at the bar in the middle of town. You can do with them as you like." Xander stated, a bit weirded out by the reaction of the town's people.

"That is good, and don't worry about the biker gang, the members at the bar have all been… taken care of." Ian explained with a toothy smile.

Xander was even more weirded out than earlier as Ian stared at him, not blinking at all.

"Now Xander, Gentleman Adventurer and Inventor as we can lay testament to, we would like to have that talk with you. But first, one last favor we ask." Ian stated, turning and drawing Xander's attention to the large blood-red door of the mansion.

"Simply open the door, and we can talk inside about your reward." Ian stated with a manic smile.

Xander wasn't sure if it was a friendly smile or not, but directed his eyes towards the door of the large chateau. What he saw immediately made him go pale.

There on the door, in the middle where a family crest was embossed, was the seal of a golden trilobite, the crest of House Heterodyne.

Xander was shocked, he quickly looked at Ian, who merely smiled and motioned towards the door.

Xander took a step forward, hesitantly looked at Ian for a second before swallowing and reaching for the gold lion shaped door handle in order to open the door.

Pain. The moment that Xander pushed on the lever of the door, the lion's head of the handle came to life and chomped onto his fingers with sharp metallic teeth.

"Son of a Bitch!" Xander cursed, as he tore his fingers away from the now slowly opening door. He stuck his bleeding fingers in his mouth and sucked on the rapidly healing digits as he rounded on Ian.

"Why you son of a…" The curse died on Xander's lips as he turned and saw that Ian was on his knees bowing to Xander, head lowered to the ground.

Looking up, Xander realized that every single person in the crowd, the population that had previously hemmed him into the front of the chateau, was now on their knees prostrated to him.

The crowd was all face down, bowing to Xander.

"What the hell!" Xander shouted, swinging around to take in the vast crowd of thousands that were all bowing to him.

"Blood will tell." Ian's muffled voice from below Xander stated. "We live for the Heterodyne, we bleed for the Heterodyne, we serve the Heterodyne."

In response, Xander fainted.

* * *

**AN: It's late, but I was on a roll and wanted to write out this chapter while it felt like it was flowing. I figured that Xander needed a base of operation; we shall learn more about it as the story goes on. Hope you enjoyed it.**


	9. Chapter 9: Don't Cross The Streams

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, girl genius verse, DC comics or any of that, so give it a rest.

**AN:** **Just a little glimpse into my thinking on this story: ****I try to keep to cannon for items and characters for the Justice League verse, Buffy verse, and as close as possible for the Girl Genius Verse. I do bring in some other items from other verses based on Xander's possible childhood and teenaged experiences. I'm of the mentality that we are products of our environment, and the Xander I write was a comic book loving, TV watching, Twinkie loving geek and an all around goofball product of America and California. I see Xander's youth as being spent with Jesse, Willow, and casual friendships with Jonathan and the geeky trio; with brief periods of hiatus's where he is dodging the abuse from his drunken parents while trying to raise himself. Just a few thoughts, now on with the story.**

**

* * *

**

'_Thought_'

"Speech"

**Chapter 9: Don't Cross The Streams**

Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.  
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?  
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.  
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?  
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.  
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?  
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.  
Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.  
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

~Ghostbusters

Xander found himself regaining consciousness to sensations of absolute warmth and comfort. His last waking memory had been of the people of Hetdin proclaiming they were servants or minions of House Heterodyne, and recognizing him as 'The Heterodyne.' Xander knew from his memories that 'The Heterodyne,' capital letters included in the vocalized pronunciation, was the head of House Heterodyne and chief warlord, mad genius, inventor, and world dominator in the family. Memories of what this really meant flooded through his mind in the instant of awakening.

With his eyes still firmly clasped shut, Xander went through a mental check list of his situation, keeping his eyes closed so that he could first assess his health and wellbeing before letting any possible observers know that he was awake.

'_Toes,'_ Xander wiggled his toes slightly as prompted by his thoughts, _'Check'_

'_Head in one piece,'_ Xander concentrated on the feeling of his head, didn't feel any blood or injury, but noted that wherever he was, he was lying on some nice squishy pillows, _'Check.'_

'_Body?'_ Xander focused on whether anything hurt, and realized that he felt rather pretty good. In fact, he felt great, and the nice silky smooth naked feminine legs that were draped over his equally naked hips were a nice to wake up to. _'Wait a second! Does not compute, does not compute, restarting brain.'_

Xander, eyes still tightly closed, focused in on the sensations around him. _'Yep, definitely naked, and some nice warmth from both sides… I'm in a lot of trouble.' _He thought.

Trouble that only magnified as the leg that was draped over him shifted its weight directly over his bladder.

'_Alert! Alert! Reactor's overload! A-WOOGA! Abandon Bed, Abandon Bed! Imminent bladder overload in t-minus 0 Seconds and no counting!' _The third voice who had been concentrating on his bladder screamed in his head.

Xander's eyes flew open as he leapt out of the bed he was in, totally ignoring his nudity as he dived through a door on the right of the room, a door with porcelain floors which he assumed labeled it as a bathroom facility.

The next five minutes were prefaced by what sounded like a racehorse recycling water into a pond, and a long drawn out "Aaahhhhh" of relief from Xander.

After flushing, Xander walked out of the restroom with a smile on his face.

"Now, where was I?" Xander asked himself as he wandered out into the room, only to see the waitress, from earlier that day and a raven haired beauty smiling at him from an opulent bed in the middle of the room; both of them only covered by a form fitting blood red silk sheet.

Xander was goggled eyed for a second at the two grinning beauties, before looking down and realizing that he too was naked.

Xander 'eeped' as he darted his hands down to cover his privates; an act that was woefully insufficient to the job due to the changes to his body since that Halloween. Both of the girls merely smiled hungrily at him. This inspired Xander to fast dart his head from side to side looking for a place to hide. Fortunately, there was a nicely stuffed and mounted Buffalo to his right, with a nine iron leaning against it.

Xander leapt for the sanctuary that the Buffalo provided.

Once his midsection was covered from view by the two beauties, Xander was able to get the blood flowing from his blushing cheeks enough to form questions.

"Um, so what happened to your clothes?" Xander asked a question, but not necessarily an intelligent question.

"We took them off." The two gorgeous girls answered, thrusting their chests forward and smiling at Xander that much more.

Still struggling with blood-flow problems, but now for a different reason as he stared at the two girls, Xander asked a second question.

"And, um, what happened to my clothes?" He questioned, again not an incredibly bright question, but what could be expected given the amount of blood moving away from his brain.

"We took those off also." The girls stated in unison, both showing Xander hungry smiles.

Xander wasn't sure if he really really liked the smiles, or was very frightened; different heads were giving him different messages.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Xander finally came up with a better question.

"So how long was I unconscious for?" Xander asked.

"One minute." The girls chorused, licking their lips at him.

Xander found himself nodding his head, until their answer hit him.

"Wait a second! I fainted for one minute and in that time you brought me in here, got naked, got me naked, and got us all curled up together in bed?" He stated wide eyed, once again an unintelligent question that had already been answered, but fortunately for Xander his questioning was interrupted by the arrival of Ian.

"Oh good, you're awake Master." Ian stated as he walked into the room, "And already playing with the minions I see." Ian finished with a raised eyebrow at the two girls in what Xander was assuming was to be 'his' bed.

Both girls flushed a bit red at the unstated admonition in Ian's voice.

"Perhaps the Master would like to learn some answers about his new holdings before playing with his toys?" Ian asked Xander. This time it was Xander's turn to blush.

"That would probably be breast." Xander answered, and then turned bright red when his he realized his slip. "I mean Best! Best! Not Breast!" He finished in a high pitched voice.

Both girls gave predatory smiles and dropped the sheets in front of them.

Xander drooled a little bit… "Boobies…" His teenaged brain overloaded and he had to shake himself and cover his eyes.

"Um, perhaps it would be breast, Damn-it, I mean best if you ladies covered up. You're a bit of a distraction." Xander said with his hand covering his eyes. "Um, were are my clothes?" Xander completed, trying to keep his thoughts off of the two naked gorgeous girls who were drool worthy, willing and right in his bed right now…

'_Stop! Don't go down that path! That way lays Madness!' _A little voice of reason screamed in the back of Xander's mind.

"Girls, grab the master a robe and leave us." Ian stated to the two young women. "Why in my day minions knew that the Master liked to chase them a bit, kicking and screaming before they fell into bed with him. Tut Tut." Ian clucked and frowned at the two girls.

Xander heard the girls mumble apologies for forgetting that lesson, and he soon felt a velvet robe draped over his body.

Peeking out between his fingers, Xander saw the nice tight naked derrieres of the girls disappear out the door of the room, and he slowly lowered his hand from his eyes and focused on tying the robe tightly about him.

When Xander looked up, he saw that the old hunchbacked man stood waiting for Xander to speak first.

"So, Ian. You mentioned some answers, a reward, and I'd also like to know what the hell was up with the front door and everybody bowing!" Xander finished, as he brain started getting into gear he ended the last of his questions with a raised voice.

"Igor Master, not Ian, and I'm sorry for the charade earlier, but we had to be sure." Igor, formerly known as Ian, stated with a bow of appology.

"Wait, so your name is Igor? And what do you mean by 'we had to be sure?'" Xander questioned, walking out from behind the Bison and sitting down in a comfortable seat next to the bed.

Xander's arm came to rest on the arm rest and there was a soft 'snick' sound, and a dagger popped up out of the arm rest of the chair, right towards Xander's lowered hand.

Xander hopped out of the seat, _'Maybe I'll just stand for now.'_ He thought to himself as he carefully moved away from the chair with the dagger sticking out of its armrest.

Igor totally ignored the byplay with the dagger, as if it was perfectly normal.

"Yes sir, I am Igor, an Igor has been serving beside the Black Master since the 1600's when he discovered my family in Transylvania." Igor explained in a blasé manner. "As for 'we had to be sure,' well after the disappearance of the last Master, The Black Heterodyne, the people of Hetdin, or New Mechanicsburg if you prefer, were without leadership and were often preyed upon by every thug or villain who waltzed through believing that they could take over the reins of our late great dark master." Igor explained as he walked over towards the door.

"Without the Heterodyne, we were adrift; without purpose. We couldn't even control the defenses of the town and surroundings for the Black Master didn't think to provide us with that ability, due to his unwavering focus on getting back to the Castle." Igor explained.

Igor clapped his hands twice at the door, and two burly men lugged a large gramophone looking device into the room, and bowed to Xander before leaving the room.

The device looked like an old crank powered record player, or gramophone, however there were a serious of light bulbs and weird looking gauges attached to it.

Xander was at this point just going with the flow. _'What's one more crazy nuance to life considering what I've experienced so far?_' He thought to himself, strangely comforted by the craziness that he was experiencing, as insanity was quickly becoming the norm for him.

Xander walked around the device examining it, the scientific part of his brain getting the better of him before he looked up at Igor with a raised eyebrow, questioning what the device was for.

"This shall give you your answers young Master. I shall return after you've reviewed the message left for you by your predecessor. I shall return when you call me." Igor explained, as the man bowed his way out of Xander's presence and the bedroom.

* * *

Xander watched Igor leave before looking the room, and the device, over. In short, the room was both as opulent as it was deviant, and probably a good amalgamation of the personality of the former inhabitant.

Paintings of nude figures frolicking together shared spaces on the wall with the stuffed heads of multiple predatory animals as well as bladed weapons of every sort. The theme of the room seemed to be blood red and obsidian black, as similarly colored silk drapes and carpeting adorned the room with a ceiling made out of stained glass of the same colors mixed in with clear panes; backlit so that the room was awash in interesting mixes of the colors and natural light. A large fireplace was situated against the wall opposite the bed and it was formed entirely of black obsidian glass, a giant tiger skin rug with its mouth stuck in a silent roar was situated in front of the fireplace.

After getting a feel for the place, Xander turned towards the device that the men had brought into the room.

Walking around it again, Xander figured that if he wanted answers he was going to have to turn the crank on the device and see what happened.

Xander did just that, cranking the handle several times before jumping back as the device started to hum; you never knew with a Heterodyne device if, or when, it was going to explode.

The device came to life, the humming sound was just the precursor as gauges twitched, electricity sparked inside of glass tubes, and a colored series of lights projected a life-sized figure onto the floor in front of the device's giant funnel.

The image showed a man who stood about six feet six inches tall, only slightly taller than Xander's current height. Dressed in a black silk long-sleeved shirt, black leather pants, a darkly tanned complexion with a golden cross draped over his neck; the image looked like it was focusing right at Xander. The man seemed to turn its eyes on Xander, black eyes without any distinction of color focus on Xander as the man began to speak; the man's opening mouth revealing fangs.

Xander was startled for a second at the fangs, but focused on what the figure was saying.

"Hello Mein Heir." The figure began. "In my home country of Mechanicsburg I was known as 'The Black Heterodyne.' I do not know how you came to get this message, but I do know two things if you are here." The image declared, seeming to narrow its eyes in focus.

"One, if you are listening to this then you too have fallen prey to a dimensional rift and are not of this world. Two, either my latest invention was a success and I am finally home in Castle Heterodyne, or I am finally dead after all of these years of living the life of the undead."

With that, the figure paused and pulled a crystal goblet containing a viscous red fluid from off screen before taking a drink. The white teeth and fangs of the Black Heterodyne were clearly stained by what looked to be blood, before licking them clean with a long tongue and continuing to speak.

"I traveled through a portal of my design when I was attempting to work on a transportation technology that would take me immediately behind the defensive fortifications of the Wulfenbach family's castle. Prior accidents in seeking other means of transportation, namely to turn myself into a bat or a shadow to penetrate our enemies fortifications, led me to my undead state. Alas, do not fear for me that I was some terrible monster, for though all Heterodynes are monsters in one way or another, what with perverting the laws of nature and keeping control of our ever expanding territory, I cared as much as I was able for our minions in Mechanicsburg and later here in this new world." The image continued, now pacing about the room, but focusing his message to where Xander stood.

"Unfortunately, the type of portal that sent me here would not let me return intact to our former dimension. My last message from the other side politely asked me to cease cluttering up the dungeons with lifeless corpses or de-animated clanks. Alas, the portal that allowed matter to freely flow from that dimension to this, acted as a shield which neither I nor any other animated being could proceed through in a reverse direction, and live to tell about it." The Black Heterodyne stated, again pausing to take another drink.

Xander was fascinated by the information he was being given, so much so that as he took a seat on another chair in the room, he totally ignored the metal darts that shot out of the headrest, flew past his instinctual dodge and flew across the room and through the intangible hologram of the Black Heterodyne.

The figure in the hologram again licked its lips and continued speaking. "I came through the portal into what is now known as mainland Europe in the late 1400s. At first I didn't think to immediately return to Castle Heterodyne and Mechanicsburg, rather I was enjoying the lovely bloodshed of the last decades of the Hundred Years war and then bounced around as a mercenary and warlord throughout the next century. It wasn't until my travels took me to Transylvania that I began to think about creating an Heir to rule here in this world while I returned to rule in our original dimension. Alas, that is where the troubles began." The Black Heterodyne sighed and shook his head at the end of his statement, again sipping the blood from the goblet.

"I first tried to sire an heir by chosen consorts from the villages I ruled over. However, after much 'practice' and no resulting heirs, the tests that I performed upon myself proved that I was unable to sire children in the traditional method; which doesn't mean I stopped participating in that method." The image stated with a somewhat lewd smirk on his face.

"I next tried to reanimate my undead flesh through experimentation on that which was already in a necrotic state, and was able to enjoy many a moonlit night digging through graves for my test subjects; this is where I subsequently met the Igor family, and they have been ever an aide since that day. Alas, those experiments also failed, and all attempts were usually destroyed by mobs when the creature left the castle to go forth and play in the local towns." At this, the figure of The Black Heterodyne walked across the room and sat in a chair opposite of Xander; fortunately nothing flew out of the chair to impale Xander.

"This leads me to my third and final failure at procuring an Heir. I sought out the nature of my biological traits and attempted to change the being of a promising local noble boy named Vlad Dracul. Unfortunately the results were less than acceptable, as the boy grew he acquired several of the traits that I had long sought after in speed, strength and transportation, but was severely allergic to sunlight, fire, wooden stakes, garlic, beheading, and for some reason holy relics; as well as having delusions of grandeur as to believe he was the first 'vampire' and meant to rule the world rather than me. My last intelligence regarding the deluded lad was that he was staked in his coffin by a horde of peasants lead by an Englishman. I had planned on destroying him and his failed line of experimentation; however my current project to weaken the barrier between this dimension and the entrance in the crypts of Castle Heterodyne has my utmost focus." At this the image took on a maniacal look that can only come when a mad genius is totally absorbed in their work.

"I no longer seek an heir in this dimension. I now seek to defeat the problem that has hindered me since I came to this dimension, the breaching of the barrier back into the bowls of Castle Heterodyne and the return of my reign in Mechanicsburg." The madness clearly shown through the eyes of the hologram.

"I have created two nuclear powered carrying-case sized positron colliders which each emit a continuous undulating stream of protons from a wand-like aiming device. It is my plan to turn both devices to their full power, 500,000 MHz, and cross the proton streams to weaken the fabric of the gateway back to Castle Heterodyne; weaken enough to return through it alive that is. With any luck, this message will find you after I have returned home, while also leaving you a possible method to return to us at the castle." The Black Heterodyne then waved for a figure to join him in the projection area.

Xander was amazed to see a much younger looking Ian/Igor appear in the projection, and bow towards where Xander was sitting. _'Then again, Igor did mention that it had been 50 years since Dr. Hetdin, who I assume was his name for The Black Heterodyne, disappeared during a lab accident.'_ Xander thought to himself.

"As you are obviously not from this dimension, being that all of my current heirs were failures, I now give you everything I own, including my minions. This is the current Igor. The Igor's are our stewards and chief assistants in all things experimentation, empire management, and grave robbing. Either he or his descendant will assist you in all that you need, as well as help manage your minions while you are busy with your world domination or science. I ask that you not kill too many minions, as they have been subsequently bred over the years to be similar to the people of Mechanicsburg and are very helpful when you get the urge to take over the world or just want to create a little chaos." The image gave a fanged smile at the last, and the image of Igor bowed its way out of the holographic projection.

"Ultimately I give you everything I have here, for one reason or another I no longer need it. Only one of Heterodyne blood will be able to enter the house. Should I die in my attempt to return home, the chateau will expel all inside until such time as you have unlocked it." With that, the image began to fade away, and with a final wink at Xander, the image completed disappeared as the machine powered down.

Xander was silent, staring at where the projection had completed its tale. He had a lot to think about.

* * *

Xander spent the next hour with either his eyes closed, or staring at the ceiling as he thought about the latest situation that he found himself in, and the new complications in his life.

His memories from his Heterodyne half had known that The Black Heterodyne had a crypt sealed in the basement of Castle Heterodyne, and that the door to the crypt specifically stated, 'Do Not Open.' The rumors that he had heard about The Black Heterodyne matched the information that he had just been given; that the man was an undead tyrannical vampire. He knew from his memories that The Black Heterodyne had not succeeded in breaching the crypt door into Castle Heterodyne, and had not retaken the castle as the image suggested was the plan. However, for all Xander knew, The Black Heterodyne was still somewhere in the chateau, maybe dead, maybe undead. There was too little information, and it was too easy to make assumptions based off what limited information he had. If there was one thing that Xander was coming to hate, it was the unknown. Random things were always happening to him, and though this time it looked like a good thing to him, often times it came around to bite him in the ass.

'_I just hope that I don't have an undead Heterodyne vampire come around and bite me in the ass this time.'_ Xander thought to himself.

Xander Hated vampires with a capital HATE. After vampires had killed his friend Jesse, forcing Xander to stake the animated corpse of his best friend to save somebody he despised, well, Xander had been on a crusade to wipe Vampires from existence; dead-boy and his underage love interest in Buffy was another reason why he had a sever dislike of the undead. If The Black Heterodyne was still alive, or at least undead, then Xander was going to do everything in his power to slay the former Master; town full of minions be damned.

The minions were another kink in his not so carefully laid out plans. Here was a town of full of people who were ready to support him 110%, ready to go that extra yard even if it killed them; after all, most minions of the Heterodynes knew they would be resurrected if they were valuable to their master. This new aspect to life here in this dimension would enable him to do so many new things, create so many new inventions that he hadn't had the resources for let alone the manpower. Sure he would have to provide for them, but he knew from his memories that without a master the minions tended to drift around aimlessly and weren't very good at taking care of themselves without some guidance; it was bred into their DNA.

'_Don't forget_ the _possibilities of the willing harem, can't forget the harem.'_ A little voice in the back of Xander head stated, for what teenage boy would forget the possibilities of their own harem.

'_Yes, there are many benefits that would come with running this town.' _A second voice mentioned in his head.

'_But think of the all the work you would have to do, you wanted to be a hero. With great responsibility comes great power… or is it the other way around?' _A third voice related. _'But anyway, if we run this town you know that we will really have to spend time running this town and have less time to do the hero thing. These people will be looking up to you, even if it is in their own twisted little way. Do you really want that added responsibility?'_ The third voice finished.

'_Hello! Why are we even having this conversation? Harem people! Harem!' _Shouted the first voice.

The voices quickly devolved into arguing in the back of Xander's head, several of them threatening violence to 'the voice of the little head' if he didn't stop yelling 'HAREM!' as his only addition to the argument.

Xander just shook his head, getting the little voices to finally shut up.

"First thing first, I deal with the possible undead Black Heterodyne, and then I see what it would take to run the town." Xander said under his breath as he got out of the chair and wandered over towards an armoire; hoping that his clothes may be inside of it.

Opening the door to the armoire, Xander had but a moment, and his body reacted instantly to duck under the crossbow bolt that would have hit him right between the eyes. Sure enough, his clothes were in the armoire.

'_How the hell did the girls get my clothes in here if the booby trap was still set up?'_ Xander thought, as he divested himself of his robe and put on his previous pair of traveling jeans and tool belt, t-shirt and leather boots. He saw the Boom-stick propped up in the corner of the armoire, along with the shrink-ray; he decided to take the shrink-ray with him and leave the Boom-stick for now.

Xander stuck the shrink-ray in the back of his pants and made a mental note to create some sort of a holster for it, because he still really didn't want to shrink his buttocks if he tripped.

With that, Xander exited the room to look for Igor and to make sure that The Black Heterodyne was gone for good.

* * *

Xander wandered the halls for about fifteen minutes before he just gave up and yelled out for Igor. In those fifteen minutes of wandering the hallways Xander had jumped over two trapdoor pitfalls - one with spikes and the other a pit of tentacle monsters - dodged uncountable projectiles, three jets of acid, one compacting ceiling, four falling explosives, three animated suits of armor, two mechanical Rottweilers, and a suicide vest wearing partridge from a toxic pear tree. Enough was enough.

"Igor!" Xander yelled, not daring to move a muscle in fear of activating something else. In the background he swore he heard a feminine giggle.

"Yes sir?" Came Igor's voice from right behind Xander, causing Xander to jump.

The jump triggered a hidden crossbow which shot a bolt at Xander, Xander dodged, but then his eyes got big as he realized that the bolt that missed him had probably hit Igor. Expecting to see a dead Igor, Xander whipped his head around to see how injured the old man was.

Igor merely stared at Xander, absolutely unhurt and a crossbow bolt clutched in his hand; holding the bolt an inch from his chest.

Xander gulped, and breathed a sigh of relief that Igor was ok, but was still weary of the place around him.

"What's going on with this place? Why is it trying to kill me if I'm supposed to be its new master?" Xander stated nervously, eyes constantly darting about looking for the next attack.

"I'm sure that the chateau is just trying to get your attention. If she really wanted to kill you, I doubt she would be giving you a chance to talk to me." Igor stated matter of factly; a faint feminine laugh was heard to issue through the halls.

'_I should have figured that this place would be alive just like the Castle Heterodyne.'_ Xander thought to himself, kicking himself mentally for not thinking faster; that type of mistake is what got people killed he reminded himself.

"Would you like to go meet her and get the peripheries out of the way, or would you prefer to see the master's lab first? Igor questioned, his face devoid of any emotion or hint at which way Xander should go.

All along the hallway, portals with weapons hidden behind them opened up and pointed at Xander, giving Xander a slight hint that maybe he should go meet the chateau first.

"I think I should go meet the chateau first." Xander stated while painting a smile on his face, taking the hint. The exposed defenses in the walls around him immediately hid themselves once again.

"You have chosen… wisely." Igor stated solemnly, as he turned to lead the way down the hall, and then through a series of doors, thoroughfares, portals, secret entrances and hallways.

Finally, after becoming sufficiently turned about, Igor opened two great double doors and presented Xander with the library.

Xander was in awe. Books, displays, and educational devices covered the walls and shelves of the large circular room that spanned five towering floors. The carpet was the same lovely blood red of the bedroom, but here it had gold accents that seemed to weave throughout the entire room, making their way towards the middle of the room; almost looking like golden veins pushing through the crimson red carpet. A giant domed glass and metal reinforced ceiling filtered in the natural light and lit the room, spotlighting a ten foot tall white marble statue of what must have been a gorgeous model. The statue was clearly the centerpiece of the library, as the light seemed to bathe it in a glow that reflected off of long gold-spun hair that simulated blonde hair and that draped over the statue. As with most things that Xander had seen in the chateau, it held an incredible beauty and sensuality yet also a bit of depravity as the statue had six arms, and though a pair of arms looked to be beckoning visitors into its lusty embrace, the other arms were equipped with three sharp looking swords and one large tome; making the statue take on the appearance of a mix of beauty, sensuality, knowledge, and viciousness.

Xander was captivated as he walked into the room and then paced around the statue to examine it from all angles.

"It's gorgeous." He stated as he walked around it.

"Why thank you." Replied a feminine voice. The head of the statue turned towards Xander as its arms smoothly flowed down into a more natural position; though the three weapon wielding arms went into what Xander recognized as attack positions.

Xander took a few quick steps back, seeming to blur with speed as he distanced himself from the statue; it coming to life hadn't been that surprising to him based on his memories of the Castle Heterodyne as well as his earlier experiences with the chateau.

Xander and the statue circled each other, neither letting the other get behind the other.

"I know the door recognized your blood as being of the Heterodyne line, but there was also the blood of other families' in there as well; families that were enemies of House Heterodyne the last I knew. Why should I let you rule here? Why shouldn't I kill you?" The statue stated with a sneer as it paced like a crouching tiger.

In reply Xander whipped out his shrink-ray and blurred in motion. His voice issued from behind the statue. "I could destroy you now and make another to control the chateau if I so chose, it is not for you to decide whether I die here or rule here." Xander stated seriously.

The statue didn't turn around. Rather, it slowly stood up, lowering its weapons as it did so.

Then Xander heard the sound of laughter.

"Very nicely played young Heterodyne." The statue said between chuckles as it slowly turned to face Xander. "You have passed all of my tests, and now we will just talk and get to know one another." The statue stated as it looked at him, cocking a head and looking Xander over.

Xander didn't lower the shrink-ray nor relax.

"Come come! Enough of this posturing. We've had our fun, now tell me about yourself. How are you related to the Heterodyne family?" The statue stated with a warm smile, sheathing all three of its weapons in invisible sheaths that were hidden by its gold-spun strands of hair and dropping the tome into a satchel that rested on its side.

At this, Xander semi relaxed and dropped the shrink-ray to his side.

"Well that's a bit of a complicated story. The easiest way to explain it would be to say that I'm the grandson of Agatha Heterodyne, Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, Othar Tryggvassen Gentleman Adventurer, and Castle Heterodyne; by way of Anthony and Jessica Harris." Xander looked away as he explained, a bit concerned on how much detail to give.

At the mention of his heraldry, the statute squealed like a little girl and rushed him. Due to being caught off guard, Xander didn't react in time and suddenly found himself being tightly hugged by all six arms of the towering statue.

"You're the Castle's grandson! That makes me your great Aunt!" The statue squealed in joy; clearly The Black Heterodyne had included a few maternal instincts in the animation of the chateau.

Xander liked feminine hugs just as much as the next guy, but being crushed against a stone and metal chest wasn't that enjoyable. Fortunately the hug only lasted for a second before the six arms held him up in the air at arm's length.

"Why just look at you, I can see some of the family resemblance, but you need to take better care of yourself deary." The statue stated. One of the arms released its hold on him and went to the statue's mouth where it licked its fingers and then proceeded to smooth down a strand of Xander's messed up hair before pinching his cheek.

Xander mentally grumbled to himself. _'Truly, great Aunts are all the same, whether they be human or animated architecture. Still, it beats her trying to kill me.' _He finished talking.

"You look a little out of shape there Xander dear. We are going to have to make sure to get you lots of vegetables and exercise, and cut back on the sweets." The statue stated authoritatively.

Xander cringed, _'Maybe this isn't better than her trying to kill me.'_ He thought, but didn't say out loud.

The statue smiled and put Xander back down on the ground. The smile was infectious, and not the contagious kind like some of the chateau's other defenses, still Xander found himself smiling up at the tall statue.

"Well nephew, now that we've met I'll let you be on your way. I'm sure you have plans to concoct, minions to lead, and empires to conquer. Ah, it's good to have a Heterodyne back in the chateau. I'll start warming up the labs and the torture equipment." The statue stated wistfully as it retired to its place in the middle of the library and resumed its fully armed and stationary position.

Xander merely stood and stared at the statue for a few more seconds, before smiling to himself and shaking his head; life was never simple or normal around him.

Xander walked back towards the main door of the library, he had to go speak to a man about a vampire; and unfortunately that wasn't a euphemism for having to go to the bathroom.

* * *

Igor led Xander through the twists and turns of the chateau's dungeons which also doubled as much of the laboratory space for the chateau. Xander didn't want to dwell on thoughts of why the experiments were done where they had easy access to prison cells, as most of him abhorred the idea of torture; there was a little voice in the back of his head, however, that tempted him with the thoughts of the kind of things he could invent and create if he had access to living human specimens to tinker with. Xander tried to shake his head of those thoughts, but there was a slight nagging in the back of his head that he could succumb to, if the right situation presented itself.

Xander turned his focus away from his thoughts, and back to what Igor was telling him.

"And here we have the water caverns where the former Master created several of his tentacle monsters. Over there is the animation chamber where the Master stored his frank-en-stein equipment from Transylvania. The Master was so brilliant in its creation. Who would have guessed that the secret to animating dead flesh was a sausage and a mug of beer, the Master was quiet pleased when he could combine dinner with grave robbing." Igor educated Xander.

"In that room over there we have the Master's private mineral and spare parts stockpile, and here we are at the transportation nexus laboratory. After you sir." Igor stated with a bow towards the door.

Xander pulled out his shrink-ray, reached out and pushed on the door, only to get electrically blasted across the hallway and into the opposite wall.

Xander shook off the daze from the blow and the electricity, before yelling at the ceiling. "What the hell was that for! I thought you said you weren't trying to kill me anymore?"

"I'm sorry dear, but that door was controlled solely by the former Heterodyne. He set up the door so that anybody who bothered him would have to really want to disrupt him in order to be willing to interrupt." The feminine voice of the chateau issued from around him. "You're hair is a mess again dear, try to take better care of yourself please." It finished with a slightly condescending motherly tone.

Xander just grumbled to himself as he picked himself up off the ground and used his hands to smooth down his hair; getting electrocuted makes keeping your hair perfectly coifed difficult.

With that, Xander again readied his shrink-ray, and tentatively tapped the door with his foot.

Seeing as he wasn't electrocuted this time, Xander pushed the door open hard, bursting the lock off the door, and finding that nothing was waiting to jump out at him from the room.

Tentatively, Xander slowly pushed his way into the darkened lab.

"Damn, I should have brought a light." He cursed under his breath, trying to see into the darkness of the lab from the light that was issuing in from the hallway.

Gas lamps in the lab immediately flared to life. "You only had to ask dear." The voice of the chateau answered.

"Um, thank you." Xander replied a bit chagrined.

As the lights around the laboratory flared and illuminated the scene, Xander realized that he wouldn't have to worry about The Black Heterodyne becoming a problem.

The room was a mess of flipped over tables, twisted steel, bent and broken wires, and two charred backpack looking devices situated on tilted stands. Everything in the room had a sheen of carbon scoring on it, as if it had been charred by a red hot fire that carbonized the very molecules of air before quickly extinguishing itself due to a lack of oxygen. Crumpled against the back wall was a fanged skeleton, stripped of all flesh and clothes by what Xander assumed had been an incredible heat.

Whatever had killed The Black Heterodyne had been incredibly powerful, and no doubt very painful. Still, Xander felt a little awe at The Black Heterodyne's pain tolerance, as next to where the skeleton's hand rested was a scrawling in the ash strewn floor.

"Don't cross the streams…." The writing in the ashes trickled off to nothing at the end.

"Wow," Xander exclaimed as he looked around the room again and then back at the skeleton, "That's some pain threshold. He must have survived the blast long enough to write that warning out before finally dying."

Igor was standing in the doorway, head bowed towards the Skeleton.

Xander looked around a bit more, making sure to grab a charred heavily bound tome of what looked to be notes on the transportation technology.

Looking up, Xander addressed Igor, "I'm sorry Igor, but I'm going to have to dispose of his body. We can't have anybody resurrecting the body to cause us problems." Xander finished with a true statement, though his deeper concerns were that The Black Heterodyne would be resurrected somehow and usurp Xander's control of the population. Battles between Heterodyne family members for control of power usually ended up in a situation that was not conducive to both participants having a long life, or un-life in the case of The Black Heterodyne.

With that, Xander zapped the skeleton of The Black Heterodyne, effectively shrinking it down to five inches. Xander stomped on the skeleton, causing it to shatter into dust, and then carefully brushed all of the cremated skeletal dust into a pouch that Xander usually used for caring around small mechanical parts, nuts, bolts, duct tape, paper clips and chewing gum.

Looking up at Igor, Xander stated, "As soon as I get the transporter system up and running again, I'll make sure to send his ashes through to Castle Heterodyne. He might not be alive or even undead, but at least he will be home again."

Igor smiled and bowed to Xander in reply.

With that, Xander and Igor left the laboratory and the location of the final death of The Black Heterodyne.

The chateau turned out the lights, and the laboratory behind them returned to its locked and darkened state.

* * *

**AN: So most of the things that Xander will deal with in this story are based on things from the DC universe, he is in that dimension after all. However, I thought this story needed a bit more of a blending with the Girl Genius universe. With that said, I introduce a possible back story on The Black Heterodyne. The Black Heterodyne is a pretty unknown character from the Girl Genius verse. The only real references we see regarding the character are that there is a crypt inside the bowels of the Castle Heterodyne, and the name on the door and a carving that says "Do Not Open!" Other details suggest that there is an undead vampiric heterodyne behind that crypt door, so I went with that idea and expanded it a bit. I hope you enjoyed the way that I weaved The Black Heterodyne into the historical lore of the DC verse, and I look forward to the opportunities that minions are going to give to Xander. I didn't want Xander's answer to every problem to be = Build a Robot. Now don't get me wrong, robot's definitely have their place and will continue to play a role just as they do in the DC universe and especially the Girl Genius verse. With that said, I dislike doing spoilers or giving too many of my inner thoughts away before I write a scene, so you will have to wait till the next chapter to see what happens. Cheers!**


	10. Chapter 10: Building An Empire

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, girl genius verse, DC comics or any of that, so give it a rest.

**AN:** **Now that Xander has a home, it's time to start making an impact… well, more of an impact than enrolling Hawkgirl in an unwanted wet t-shirt contest and making Superman puke on Lex Luthor. You know, it's time to do stuff that matters, like taking over the world, or at least parts of it.**

**

* * *

**

'_Thought_'

"Speech"

**Chapter 10: Building An Empire**

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them  
~ Office

Xander didn't enjoy moving into a new place due to the fact that his past moving experiences in Sunnydale had included such highlights as: A. Moving Uncle Rory's tools and entire machine shop into a new mechanics garage, all by himself, while Uncle Rory sat in a lounge chair and drank beer while telling Xander what to do; or, B. Moving furniture and boxes into his parents' home in Sunnydale, all by himself, while his dad Tony sat on a lazy-boy chair drinking Jack Daniels from the bottle and yelling curses at Xander for moving so slowly.

This move into Hetdin, or which was now officially called New Mechanicsburg based on Xander's decision, was totally different. Not only was Xander the one sitting in the chair while the minions pattered about, but most of the pattering about was done by the actual boxes and furniture themselves as Xander had added robotic tank treads or mechanical legs to all of his luggage and equipment. Really, from Xander's point of view the only problem with the move had been when the waitress from the café had brought him a cup of coffee to drink.

After taking his first sip, Xander did a spit-take, spewing out the foul tasting brew as quickly as possible.

"Dear God Dora, what the hell is in this coffee? It tastes like a drowned rat was filtered through an old gym sock." Xander groused as he tried to scrub his tongue with the back of his hand. Xander didn't explain how he knew what a drowned rat filtered through an old gym sock tasted like, but suffice it to say he had eaten food in the Sunnydale high school cafeteria, and that was close enough.

Dora, the waitress from the café and she of the magnificent body, bowed her head in shame. "I'm sorry sir, but that's the way that the former Master liked his coffee, and the recipe does call for an old sock." She replied, disappointed with herself that her Master was unhappy.

Xander saw that she was taking it personally and looked on the verge of tears, and if there was one thing that Xander couldn't stand, it was a crying lady, girl, or female thing; hence his attracting Willow as well as so many demons, mummies, and praying mantis ladies in the past.

"Now now, don't worry about the coffee," Xander stated as he poured the remaining coffee out of his cup and into a nearby shrubbery; said shrubbery immediately wilted, died, and then crumbled to dust. Xander did a double take on the disappearing shrubbery, then at the coffee cup, and then back at Dora; he knew that he had to do something about the coffee in the town.

Xander's brain clicked into 'Spark' mode as he jumped out of his chair and started marching down the hill from the chateau towards the café; all the while unaware that he was calling out to the minions around him the parts that he would need when he got there.

A guy with a wash bin started trailing along, and then several more carrying copper and nickel tubing. A woman grabbed a clean silk handkerchief off of her clothes drying line, and joined the mob of minions who were starting to pile out of the town's buildings carrying the random piece of equipment, part, or tool that Xander was unconsciously calling for.

By the time Xander got to the café, the crowd was all silently marching along behind him, but now enjoying the incredibly complex tune that Xander was alternatively humming and whistling.

Walking into the café Xander immediately proceeded to the industrial coffee making system that was there, politely pushed the beautiful raven haired second waitress out of the way and proceeded to dismantle the coffee pot without saying a word.

A pair of dirty socks went flying over his head, a dead rat was fished out of the bottom of the water filtration system as Xander finished taking the coffee pots apart, and then Xander dived under the counter to start working on the tubing and main gears of the system; all the while humming his strange and exotic tune. The people of the town were silent, basking in the glow of their new Master as he created and invented something new and outside the norm.

It was like a master surgeon working in a vast operating room, or a maestro leading an incredibly large orchestra. Xander hummed, whistled, and created. Every so often Xander's hand would dart out from under the counter without stopping his whistling and one of the townsfolk would instantly, and silently, hand him just the right tool or part that he wanted. They were a seamless machine, a team of Master and minions all working in perfect synchronicity.

A few bangs, a couple of screeching sounds, and Xander slid out from under the counter and a minion wordlessly handed Xander a rag to wipe his dirty hands on, before handing it back without thought, all the while Xander was staring at the new coffee engine that he had just created.

"Ok folks, so I need some coffee beans." Xander stated, and before he had finished saying 'need' the raven haired waitress had already handed him a bag of fresh coffee beans. Xander smiled and thanked the blushing girl, pausing so that she would tell him her name (which was Tara), and then Xander said, "Thank you Tara." With a wink that made Tara blush again, and shudder a bit with a dreamy smile on her face.

"Ok folks, let's give this baby a try." Xander stated, as he filled the hopper on the machine and then leaned forward and pushed the red button that was labeled, 'Push Me To Start.' Xander didn't realize that he had even installed such a button while he was inventing, but there it was.

There was at first a clinking sound as the beans were heard to be sorted into the machine. Then a 'whoosh' as the sounds of gas jets speed roasting the beans, then a crunch and grinding sound turned into a whirring noise that was equivalent to a 747 Jumbo jet starting up its engines.

"Remind later me to create a muffler for the Mach 1 grinder." Xander yelled out to the crowd as he continued to stare at the coffee engine; several members of the crowd immediately took down a note to remind Xander, the reminder notes were made out in triplicate.

The sound of the grinder stopped, and then there was a secondary whooshing sound, and a loud ding, notifying all that the coffee was ready.

Xander leaned forward and pressed a blue button, and the machine started to shake and shimmy in its moorings.

Xander frowned and punched the 20 gallon copper coffee drum in the middle of the machine, creating just the right sized dent that the harmonics of the machine changed and it stopped shaking and started to make a happy humming sound; Xander's frown turned into a smile.

"Mental note, three quarter's inch deep by five inch across dent at approximately 120 degrees of center." Xander stated out loud to himself; not seeing the crowd around him nod as they all took a mental note.

With that, Xander turned a gauge on the machine to 'carafe' and the coffee engine started creating brand new coffee carafe's and filling them with the heady smelling brew of spark-roast coffee; extra-caffeinated.

Xander reached forward and poured himself a cup, took a sip, and then let out a satisfied 'ah' as it was once again the perfect cup of coffee, but this time with twice the caffeine.

Xander smiled, and looked at all the expectant people around him.

"It's perfect." Xander stated.

The whole crowd cheered!

Hats were thrown in the air, people were hugging and kissing, you would think that the town had just been told that they had won the lottery, or were going to get to raid and pillage the next city over, based on the way they were carrying on.

"Free coffee for everyone." Xander yelled over the noise of the crowd, which elicited more cheering.

Soon the crowd was drinking the best coffee that they had ever tasted in their lives, and in turn hoisted Xander on their shoulders and proceeded out into the street; careful to not bash Xander's head on the lintel of the door to the street.

In the street the cheering and carrying on continued before a gap appeared in the mass of people and the crowd carefully set Xander down, all of them smiling at him with glee and mad devotion shining in their eyes.

Xander looked around, confused as to what to do now, since he hadn't consciously started the creation process in the first place.

"Um, so what now?" Xander asked as he looked at the crowd around him.

Tara and Dora stepped through the crowd and looked at Xander with almost tears in their eyes, as if to silently ask if Xander didn't like them?

"Well, um, aren't you going to chase us?" Dora questioned.

Xander was flabbergasted for a moment, and then looked around at the crowd for a hint at what to do.

One old man who was leaning on a cane said, "It's tradition that the Master gets so darn toot'n riled up that he chases the lasses after a successful creation." Said the old man as he gave Xander a one toothed smile, a wink, and nodded his head.

Xander looked at the rest of the crowd and saw them all smiling and nodding at him. A smile slowly crept across his face, as Xander felt that he had nothing to lose, so turned towards Dora and Tara.

Both girls were now looking at him hopefully.

"Well far be it from me to deviate from tradition." Xander stated, his smile morphing into a maniacal look and the look of mad genius slowly starting to play across his face as he addressed Dora.

Xander cackled madly and said the first thing that came to him.

"Bwa ha ha ha, I'll get you my pretty, you and your little friend Tara too! Wa ha ha ha!" Xander laughed gleefully as he darted at Dora and Tara, letting the two girls dodge his swinging grasp and take off running back up the hill towards his chateau with a squeal.

Dora and Tara kicked off their heels as they ran and mock screamed all the way up the hill, smiles on their faces and a cackling Xander charging after them with arms outstretched to grab them.

As Xander and the two girls tore past the general store, Xander noticed two old men sitting in rocking chairs and heard one say, "It sure is nice to have a right and proper master back again. Sooner than you know it, we'll be out pillaging and loot'n, you mark my words." The first one said, punctuating his statement by pointing his cane.

The second one merely replied, "Eh, what's that you say?"

Xander missed the rest of the conversation as at that point he had swooped up both squealing girls over his shoulders and was busy running full tilt towards the chateau and his awaiting bedroom.

'_God I love this town.'_ Xander stated as he disappeared into his new house with the giggling girls carried over his shoulders, the sound of the cheering of the towns people quieted with the closing of the door.

* * *

**[WARNING BEGINNING BEDROOM SCENE]**

Xander made it to the master bedroom still carrying both girls, kicked the door closed behind him and then tossed both girls through the air to bounce onto the bed with a gleeful scream.

Xander steepled his fingers together and then drummed together as he moved to tower over the two girls on the bed while trying to think of something dastardly to say to stay in character.

"Now I have you right where I want you, my oppression shall finally be complete." Xander improved in an evil voice.

The effect on the two girls was not one would suspect when two gorgeous 'victims' are 'forced' into the bed of the 'evil' mad scientist.

Dora looked at Tara, and Tara looked at Dora. Both smiled at each other before looking up at Xander.

"Oh Oh! Oppress me! Oppress me!" Both cried out, each waving an arm in the air like they were trying to get the attention of a teacher.

Xander's goofball side came out and he smirked, looked at both girls and said, "Hmmmm, let me think about it." With that, he started rubbing his chin and looking up at the ceiling as if he was deep in thought.

Both girls' jaws opened up in shock. They looked at each other, then back up at Xander, and then both of them gave a "hmmph" while pouting their lips and crossing their arms across their chests; which nicely raised and added to the definition of their wonderful breasts that strained the fabric of their shirts.

"Ok" Xander said suddenly as he turned back to both girls and pounced on the two of them.

This then became a tickle war as Xander used his inhuman speed to tickle both girls simultaneously.

Both girls were quickly squealing in laughter from the tickles, but the tides soon turned as both girls realized that if they nipped, bit, sucked on or groped any part of Xander they could reach, that he soon was too distracted to carry on the tickling battle. The groping was soon coupled with the intertwined bodies of Xander and the girls kissing and caressing each other lustfully.

Xander would trade off kissing one girl while entangling his fingers in her hair, while the other girl would be nibbling on his neck and rubbing her body and leg across him. The girls' café uniform skirts were now hoisted up to show their magnificent rear ends encased in lacy bikini panties; Dora's in white, and Tara's in black.

Being from a town of minions the two girls knew how to work together when the Master wanted to get creative, and assisting in creativity in bed was apparently part of that skill set. Xander didn't really understand how it had happened, but somewhere in the middle of the cuddling, groping, rubbing and pleasuring he had mentally wished that there weren't so many clothes involved, and suddenly the girls had stripped him and both of them faster than he could really follow.

At this point Xander had proof that he was a genius with brain cells to spare, as though he was fully focused on the girls and the action in bed he still had the ability to realize, _'So that is how they got me and both of them naked and tucked into bed in under a minute.'_ However, soon those brain cells were also included in the 'fun time' as he started nibbling and licking his way down Tara's body.

Xander was too riled up to go through many preliminaries with the girls, and based on his lick of Tara's very wet flower and his cupping of Dora's center, he knew that the girls were ready for the main entrée. This is where his inhuman strength and agility came into play.

Leaning back from his lick of Tara's nectar, Xander smiled down at the girls, noticing that both were already shuddering from the enjoyment they were having; '_this bred to be minions thing was great'_ the third voice in the back of Xander's head yelled out in glee.

Xander's smile grew larger, as he wrapped one arm around each of the girls and used his weight and strength to roll the threesome over so that he was on the bottom. Though Xander wasn't incredibly experienced with bedding woman in his life, he was gaining a nice level of confidence by being in control of the situation and being able to explore the two girls' bodies; much to the girls' delight as well. This isn't to say that the two girls weren't active participants, for as soon as he had rolled them all over, Dora and Tara smirked at him and shimmied down Xander's body; laboriously dragging their firm breasts down his chest and ticking his skin with their excited nipples.

Looking like cats that were about to get the cream, both girls nuzzled his legs, their hair falling about Xander's pelvis and causing ticklish little shivers to run through him as the girls' hair cascaded over the two softly kissing and nibbling girls.

Dora was the first to raise her head and gaze into Xander's eyes. Then, while still holding his gaze, she licked right up the front of his penis from base to tip, smirking at Xander's moan, before taking Xander's crown in her mouth and slowly leaning back and swallowing his length.

Xander gasped and moaned as Dora's tongue flicked and rubbed up the sensitive underside of his member, the moan deepened when he felt the crown and two inches of his length disappear into her throat as she started to swallow.

Dora seemed to be smirking the entire time as she enjoyed playing with the newest Heterodyne to rule the area. She pulled herself off with a pop, and then used her hand to rub the left over saliva up and down his length, giving her hand a slight twist at the end that seemed to drive Xander wild.

Then it was Tara's turn as Dora pointed Xander's shaft towards her friend's mouth, and Tara inhaled Xander's length fully.

Xander had never been able to cross compare girls 'kissing' him down there, but now he was sold for life on becoming a connoisseur of this type of pleasure, a little voice in the back of his head said, _'Got to try them all!'_ Xander was speechless, so merely nodded to himself; both girls smiled as they knew he was nodding at how much he was enjoying their skillful mouths.

Shaking, shuddering, and moaning at the job the girls were doing on him as they both took turns switching off, Xander decided that he wanted to taste something himself, so reached down and gently but insistently tugged on Tara's shoulder until she started shimmying up to kiss his lips again.

However, Xander was looking for a different type of kissing, as when Tara kissed his lips, he palmed her rear end and lifted her up into the air with his shear inhuman strength; flipping her around and depositing the squealing girl so that she was straddling his head. Now it was Xander's turn to practice his 'kissing' skills.

Xander licked, flicked, swirled and tapped with his tongue, holding tightly to Tara's rear end as the girl was on a hair trigger and immediately began to orgasm. The only thing keeping Tara steadily seated were Xander's two hands, keeping the moaning and screaming shaking girl from escaping his wonderful torture.

Dora, wanting to get in on the fun yet still pleasure Xander at the same time, sat up and knee walked across the bed to straddle Xander's hips. As she straddled him, her juices seemed to weep and dripped on Xander's shaft, all the while Dora watched Tara scream with eyes scrunched shut. Tara was grabbing a hold of her own breasts, neck and then leaning forward to hold herself up on Xander's shoulders as her continued orgasm's overwhelmed her.

Biting her lip, Dora started to lower herself onto Xander, but only got two inches of his length into her before she too lost control due to an orgasm as she released a shuddering gasp and her weakened muscles gave out on her, causing her to fully impale herself on Xander's long length. The full length plundering Dora's depths caused her gasp to become a scream of pleasure as he eyes shot wide open and she began to thrash about, trying to hold onto Tara's shoulder so that she didn't fall off of Xander.

Xander grunted into Tara as Dora sank down onto him and fluttered around his shaft, the pleasure of the fluttering caused him to latch his lips around Tara's clit and suck hard; and like that Tara was lost.

Tara's scream hit an octave that threatened to break the glass of the ceiling above them, but fortunately for all of them and their eardrums Tara made a gasping breath sound, and passed-out; falling off of Xander.

The bed was large enough that Tara merely crumpled beside Xander and Dora, and wasn't in danger of falling off and onto the floor. So Xander turned to focus on Dora who was at this point barely holding herself up on her elbows as orgasm after orgasm racked her body.

Xander pulled Dora to him and kissed her deeply as he pulled back and then thrust himself into her; Dora was so out of it from the pleasure that she didn't even complain about the juices that painted Xander's face.

Unable to get full length strokes going, Xander hooked his arms through Dora's knees and then flipped the two of them over so that he was on top and able to slide in and out of her fully.

Xander's strokes picked up speed, and he must have been hitting something right as Dora began to toss her head back and forth moaning and shaking, eventually halting her screams by biting down on Xander's shoulder. Xander in turn felt something primal seem to rise up inside of him, he wanted to own Dora so latched his mouth to bite her neck as he continued to drive her into the mattress as he felt his pleasure spike and his strokes become ragged and fierce.

Thrusting hard, absolutely bouncing Dora into the bed and then back again before quickly stroking into her again, Xander growled and orgasmed into his lover beneath him.

Dora's eyes grew large and her mouth opened in a silent scream as Xander claimed her and she felt his size grow and swell within her, before painting her insides with hot fluid; with that, Dora also passed out from the pleasure.

Xander continued to pant, growl and push into Dora a few more times, but then slowed and unlatched his teeth from the junction with her neck. Looking down, he was shocked at the bite mark, but glad that he hadn't broken the skin on the pale beauty beneath him.

Looking to the side, Xander saw that Tara too was still unconscious, and was also making cute little snoring sounds as she slept off the endorphin rush of the sexual activities.

Xander gazed and smiled at both girls that were sleeping next to and underneath him, but then his smile turned into a slight frown as he slowly pulled out of Dora.

**[END LOVE SCENE]**

"Damn it, I'm still riled up. Stupid freaking superior body and freaking primal spirit." Xander half heartedly groused under his breath as he carefully positioned the girls on the bed and then pulled the sheets up to cover the girls; smiling as the two girls cuddled together in their sleep.

"Their bodies and minds are willing, but still just normal human. Ok, more like minion and multi-orgasmic, but not up for another couple hours of fun time." Xander mumbled to himself as he carefully got off the bed and went to the armoire and removed a clean pair of pants and a work shirt and shoes.

Sitting down on one of the chairs in the room, Xander mentally noted that he was happy that the furniture was no longer trying to kill him, and he tied his shoe laces and hopped out of the chair.

"Science sleeps for no one" Xander mumbled looking around the room and at the two sleeping girls, "Guess I should get some work done now that I have the new facilities and everything seems to be unpacked." He finished to himself.

With that, Xander swept out of the room to go find something to create or analyze.

* * *

The green glow of the room backlit Xander as he stood before his chemistry hood wearing his laboratory gear; his analysis tools and electron microscope were humming away on a table beside him analyzing the fluid that he had stolen from the Batcave's Lazarus Pit. An observer would think that he was trying to figure out the composition of the fluid, but they would be wrong because he already knew the composition of the fluid, Xander only needed to figure out how to make more of it.

"Parasamgate Bodhi Svaha Om Tara Tu Tara Toray Soha Gate Gate… Parasamgate Parasamgate Bodhi Svaha Om Tara Tu Tara Gate Gate Paragate Parasamgate Parasamgate Bodhi Svaha Om Tara Tu Tara Toray Soha" Xander chanted the Buddhist mantra under his breath as he added the four parts Gallium and Tellerium to the two parts Protectinium and Radium and one part Samarium. Sticking the fluid into a self mixing beaker, Xander was attempting to see if the fluidic compound that he remembered from a Batman comic book that Jesse owned and had debated about with Xander and Jonathan was in fact an exact match of the chemical solution stolen from the Lazarus Pit.

Xander had noticed a change in his memory retention since Halloween, above and beyond having the Xander Heterodyne memories downloaded into his brain. Namely, since Halloween Xander hadn't forgotten anything, not the spacing of Zatanna's moles on her smooth skin from his one night of fun, not his dreams at night, not even what he ate for breakfast four days ago or how many times he had gone to the bathroom; that last one was a little disturbing to Xander. In addition to this new inability to forget anything, Xander was finding that memories from his Sunnydale years were also coming back to him whenever a tangential incident pulled up one of the old memories. Though the memories from before Halloween weren't as clear and complete as post Halloween, major points or memorable instances were coming back to Xander in full clarity. Such was one memory of Jesse's Batman comic book regarding Ra's al Ghul, the Demon's Head, who used the Lazarus Pits to seek immortality. It was in that specific comic book that Batman learned the formula for the Lazarus Pit by translating a chanting Buddhist monk's mantra into the chemical formula of the pit. According to the comic book, Batman had made the pit in his cave with that formula, a formula that Xander was now comparing to the actual pit sample.

Putting both samples into the auto analyzer, Xander pushed the start button, and less than five seconds later the machine made a 'ding' sound and spat out a sheet of paper.

Xander looked the report over, and did the happy dance; the composite mixes of his self created solution was identical to that of the stolen solution from the Lazarus Pit.

Xander smiled as he walked over to a large pull cord and a loud gonging sound shook the laboratory area.

"You rang sir?" Igor asked as he and several of the male townsfolk entered to the sound of the summons.

"Yes, please take this list and see that the pit in laboratory 42 is filled to the brim with the proper mix. I highly suggest that nobody becomes contaminated, it has a side effect of causing a bit of insanity." Xander dictated as he handed over his notes on the formula for the Lazarus Pit.

"Yes sir, the usual around here I assure you." Igor stated with a bow as he lead the men out of the room filled with bubbling chemical beakers, distilleries and analytical machines.

As the men left to go fill Xander's own private Lazarus Pit, they left Xander with questions on what the heck he was going to do with it.

'_Sure I could use it on the minions to revive them, but I know better methods for bringing humans back to life without the side effect of insanity. Perhaps I could see if I can use it like the fluid from the River Dyne and turn it into a power source? It's too bad that the minions are only human and prone to the insanity side effects, it would sure be nice if I had some sturdier minions to help me out." _Xander thought to himself as he tinkered with the many glowing chemicals and poisons around him, his hands working without conscious control as he seemed to mix random chemicals; humming quietly to himself as he continued to think.

Xander's thoughts were distracted by the potion container in his hand starting to shake, before suddenly discharging a 'poof' of green, purple and black smoke that nearly hit Xander in his face.

Dodging the little mushroom cloud of smoke that had poofed out of the beaker, Xander concentrated on what he had in his hands and tried to figure out what his subconscious had created.

The fluid was a weird greenish black color, with the occasional swirl of purple that would twist and flow through its dark depths.

Something tickled at the back of Xander's brain, and then it hit him where he had seen this particular chemical reaction before.

"Woah, Der Jägerbräu." Xander exclaimed. "Thanks brain, didn't even think about that."

'_You're welcome.' _A voice stated in the back of his head.

'_Yeah, well it's too bad that only about one or two in ten survive it.'_ Xander thought back to himself.

'_Um hello. Lazarus Pit.' _The voice argued with Xander.

'_But the Pit makes people go insane.'_ Xander countered to him inner voice.

'_And J__ägers are known for being sane?' _The voice countered in turn.

'_Good point._' Xander acknowledged.

'_Thank you.'_ The voice answered.

Xander merely shook his head and started walked out of the room to find Igor, carrying the Jägerbräu with him.

He mumbled to himself, "It's probably not healthy to be arguing with myself so much."

'_You're telling me.'_ The voice in his head said as Xander exited the room again shaking his head at the craziness that was his life.

* * *

Three weeks had gone by since Xander had become The Heterodyne, moved into the chateau and began his new experiments and inventions. All in all everything had been going swimmingly, all except for one thing. Xander had made a mistake, one that would have a large impact on not only his life but also on the entire world.

It wasn't the creation of the Lazarus Pit, that had gone off without a hitch and Xander was now experimenting with using the fluid to animate totally bioengineered creatures; he jokingly thought to himself that he was 'playing God,' but didn't say it out loud as he didn't want to draw the attention of the Gods that he knew existed in the Justice League dimension. He was also looking into methods of tapping the life giving energy of the fluid to use as a power source. Xander believed that if it was possible to use the artificially created Lazarus Pit as an energy source similar to that which powered Castle Heterodyne, then he may be able to build a larger facility than the chateau as well as better defenses for his people; and maybe even defenses for planet Earth.

It wasn't the translation of the blackened notes from the 'dearly' departed Black Heterodyne on his transportation technology; a technology which Xander now safely used to transport both goods and personnel instantaneously from his newly built transit center to anywhere on planet earth or in the surrounding space. Xander got a kick out of using the new tech, as all he needed to do was detail the location of where he wanted the exit portal to be and the transit center would hack into the global positioning satellite system and open a door within five meters of the target location. To return to the transit center, one just contacted the transit center via cell phone, radio, tight beam laser, or communicator (the idea stolen from watching Zatanna use her Justice League communicator) and the transit center would open up a passage back to the town. For kicks, and just because he could, Xander had even assigned a guy named 'Scott' to man the transit center's main terminal, that way whenever he needed a lift he could call out 'Beam me up Scottie;' Xander had chuckled to himself that some things never get old. He'd even used the technology to prank the justice league, releasing a pack of skunks into the orbiting Watchtower just because he could.

The problem also wasn't the re-creation of the Jägers, which had gone surprisingly well in that the survival rate was at ninety eight percent of the volunteers, sadly one volunteer from the town had gone so insane that he asked to be killed. Xander had taken to creating the Jägers with the volunteer chained to a table as the potion was administered, thus Xander was able to stop the man from hurting himself and Xander sadly euthanized the man. Xander had then had the man's body put into a form of cold stasis while making a vow that he would figure out a way to bring the man back to life and reprogram the deceased man/Jäger's brain so that he could live the life of a successful Jäger; namely drinking, fighting and 'flirtzing wit da goilz.' Still, Xander had locked himself in his room for several hours depressed after costing the man his life. It was only after the chateau overrode the lock on Xander's door and admitted Dora and Tara that he was able to get out of his brooding and depressed mood. Several hours of snuggling with the girls seemed to have done the trick. At the end of the day Xander wasn't depressed any more, and forty Jägers were running around his land providing security and providing that nice bit of missing chaos that made the place feel more like home to Xander; home wasn't home to Xander without monsters running about. Xander acknowledged that 'flirtzing wit da goilz' was also a good way to get out of a depressed mood, and that maybe he should look into some of the other ways that Jägers had fun and see if he too enjoyed those.

The mistake wasn't even in his relationship with the two girls from the town. Xander had talked to Dora and Tara and though Xander had brought up dating one, the other, or both at the same time, both girls had stated that it wasn't proper and that if the Master wanted a proper partner or three that he would have to seek out an equal who could add more to the Heterodyne line. The relationship had been a bit awkward for a while there as a little niggling of doubt in the back of Xander's brain, that sounded remarkably like his father Anthony Harris, told him that the girls just didn't like him and that he wasn't good enough for the two girls. However both girls told him not to be silly and pounced on him after he had explained his understanding that they didn't want to commit to him. The round of sexual athletics that followed went a long way towards convincing Xander that maybe, just maybe, they really did like him and that he was good enough for them.

No, the mistake was with the coffee engine that he had created. It worked perfectly, creating the best coffee that his new dimension had ever seen. It produced prodigious amounts of it, whether by the cup, the carafe, or even the tanker truck full; it even created the vessel which held the coffee, which was weird when somebody knocked the gauge to 'truck' rather than carafe and the parking lot next to the café started filling up with tanker trucks full of coffee. No, the problem was that after the machine had started, he couldn't get it to stop. It seemed that though he had created a push button to start the machine, he had forgotten a little thing called an 'off switch.'

Xander had at first hoped that it would just stop when it ran out of beans to make coffee with. Thus he switched the machine to 'truck', and then had the appearing trucks moved to a large parking lot that the townsfolk had whipped together on the outskirts of town. Unfortunately, the machine continued to produce for another three days before Xander realized that it wasn't slowing down its coffee or truck production; where the hell it was coming up with the materials for the truck let alone how it was creating them, Xander didn't have a clue. In addition, when Xander went to check the coffee bean hopper, it was still full to the brim from the first time that he had filled it. Even removing all of the beans from the un-ground, unroasted hopper still didn't stop the machine.

Next, Xander tried pulling the plug on the machine. Now for normal people that would probably have been the first thing they would have done when faced with a lack of an off switch, but Xander was a mad genius, and simply pulling the plug was too boring for the likes of him. The second problem with pulling the plug, besides it being a mundane solution, is that when Xander ducked under the counter to pull said plug, he found that it was already unplugged from when he first took apart the industrial coffee pots and had forgotten to plug it back in. The machine happily hummed along, content to keep Xander's town full of minions hyped up on caffeine and churning out results for Xander's plans. By this point, Xander's parking lots were starting to get filled, so he called an emergency meeting with Igor to try and figure out what to do with the trucks full of coffee.

This meeting led to the creation of the Sparkbucks coffee empire. Batman had Wayne Enterprises, the Green Arrow had Queen Industries, and now Xander had Sparkbucks coffee. In order to get rid of the many large shipments of coffee, Xander broke his new business up into two enterprises: 1. He would create Sparkbucks coffee houses on the properties that he had acquired from both the former bank president as well as The Black Heterodyne; and 2. He would ship the coffee to stores and other coffee shops that wanted to use his product in the premade tanker trucks and then recycle the steel that was practically being pulled out of thin air and use it in making more inventions. Apparently the great thing about the perfect sparkroast coffee is that it was perfect in every way, it didn't deteriorate from being shipped over long distances, nor was it a problem if it grew cold as warming it up still made it the perfect cup of coffee. The very nature of the coffee would save on the expense of high priced machinery at the store locations, instead, Xander merely retrofitted existing coffee pots to warm up the premade coffee and installed 'shrink' technology in machines that were disguised to make espresso shots. In short, Xander was going into the business of providing legal stimulants, and because of the caffeine level and perfect nature of the coffee Xander was convinced that once people started drinking his coffee they wouldn't settle for anything else. On top of his ability to get paid to addict people to a substance that of which he held a monopoly, Xander's sales would gain the same tax benefits that items sold from Native American reservation did, namely no state taxes as he only answered to the federal government. Yes Xander wanted to save innocents, but he was still a mad genius, and what mad genius couldn't help addicting the world to a substance that only he had control over?

Thus Xander's somewhat innocent plan for world domination was set in motion. A plan that would gain an additional boost when Xander went to start up a Sparkbucks coffee shop in the little town of Blue Valley Nebraska, a small college town and the birthplace of Wally West, aka The Flash.

* * *

Xander had upgraded the transit center in the middle of his town to have 24 hour a day Jäger and clank security, as well as portal systems large enough to drive his coffee tanker trucks through. By quadrupling the systems at the transit center Xander was significantly decrease delivery times as his transit center could just open a portal on a deserted back roads highway late at night, one near the target destination, and then drive the coffee tanker truck through the portal and on to the final destination. This also saved on fuel costs as though the coffee tanker trucks were created out of seemingly thin air, their fuel tanks weren't full when they were created nor were they robotic trucks with self perpetuating energy to fuel them.

Xander had hopped a ride on one of the departing trucks as he wanted to get a better idea about the process of opening up one of his new stores, and what better place to run a demonstrative version of his corporate plan than to do the startup operation in a small Nebraska college town.

Xander and his team of minions had pulled into Blue Valley late on a Friday night and quickly found the main street storefront that had previously been owned by the deceased bank president. The minions, some driving coffee trucks and one following up the rear in the truck cab of Optimus pulling a trailer of goods and machinery, had quickly torn the interior of the former general store down and fully remodeled it in the single Friday night. The store was ready and all laid out the next morning, ready for a surprise grand opening.

'_It's amazing what these minions can do when I simply ask them to put together a design of mine.' _Xander thought to himself as he went to unlock the front door of the coffee shop that Saturday morning. _'Things that would normally take a work crew months to complete are thrown together perfectly in a single night. I'd think that it would be impossible if I wasn't already standing in the middle of it.'_ Xander finished thinking with a content smile.

Xander had liberally plagiarized from the design of Starbucks from his dimension, creating a symbol that bore the same green and white colors, but instead of a siren the center logo was the Heterodyne trilobite. The inside of the store was painted in warm rust colors and dark wood and granite wrapped around the counter and was existent in the tables and booths of the shop. Light sandwiches, salads, muffins and other goodies were on display, but coffee was definitely the preeminent feature of the store.

Cold coffee, hot coffee, drinks made with coffee, 'espresso' based drinks, even ice-cream made with coffee was present. Pretty much every beverage made from coffee was made from Xander's blend of perfect spark roast coffee, extra caffeinated. The baristas could add syrups to make the coffee have different flavors, they could shrink a cup of coffee down into a smaller size to increase the caffeine to volume ratio, but it all began with Xander's dark perfection that was trucked in from New Mechanicsburg.

As Xander opened the door to the shop, he was surprised to see several sleepy college students already waiting at the doors to come in.

"Welcome. Welcome to Sparkbucks." Xander stated with an entrancing smile as he let his first customers into his store.

The students replied with sleepy smiles, some looked to be giving him hung over frowns, and replied in return as they shuffled their way up to the counter where the baristas took their orders and served up the hot coffee drinks that the students purchased.

Xander heard the students brief grumbling about the prices of the coffee, especially for a small Nebraska town, but after taking one sip of the coffee Xander watched their faces take on a wide awake and enraptured look, he knew that he had them hooked.

'_Excellent, like stealing candy from a baby_,' A little voice in the back of Xander head cackled as he watched the students chug the still steaming hot coffee and purchase a second round; the voice in his head sounded strangely like Montgomery Burns from the Simpsons cartoon.

Xander shook his head, but couldn't wipe the smile off of his face. He wasn't a villain trying to take over the world after all, he thought to himself. Xander tried to convince himself that he was only selling a legal and readily available product and service used to help people wake up and work harder; he wasn't a big bad, no really, he wasn't.

Shrugging his shoulders and laying aside the mental debate, Xander manned the cash register and just enjoyed the increasing success of his business. Soon the students and towns people were entering and leaving in rapid succession, quickly returning with friends, family members, and acquaintances to buy more coffee.

'_And to think, the high school counselor said that I would only be good at menial labor and would never amount to anything. Ha! I say to you again, Ha!' _Xander thought to himself as he rang up an order for a 32 ounce triple espresso topped off with black coffee. At this point, the shop was packed with hyperactive college students and townsfolk merrily working away, and the line to purchase coffee stretched out the door and down the block. Xander mused that the day was going amazingly well, when like usual, Lady Luck agreed and decided that she couldn't let that continue unabated.

The saying 'even a town of 3000 needs a jail' was true to form, and unfortunately for Xander the one heroin junky in the town of Blue Valley decided to push his way into Xander store right as the store was busy with the lunch time rush.

The first that Xander knew that there was a problem was when disgruntled sounds of "Hey! No Cutting man!" turned into screams as a raggedly dressed dirty man with crazy eyes pulled a semi-automatic pistol from inside of his ratty coat.

"Nobody move!" The man yelled, wildly discharging his gun into the ceiling once before turning to point the gun directly at Xander.

The minions surrounding Xander tensed as if they were going to jump in front of Xander or jump over the counter to tackle the man; the bus boy behind the gun toting crazy picked up a coffee cup in both hands and looked like he was about to bash the crook in the back of the head with the earthenware weapons.

A quick flick of Xander's hand followed by a look and brief shake of his head had the minions halting their motions and standing still, Xander didn't want a stray bullet to hit one of his minions or one of citizens of Blue Valley.

Xander held his hands up, "Easy there buddy, just put the gun down, nobody needs to get hurt today. How about a free cup of coffee on the house?" Xander calmly asked, making sure that his actions drew the attention and direction of the gun towards him.

"I don't want your damn coffee! Give me the money from the cash register and in everyone's pockets!" The man yelled, briefly swinging the gun around to point at the cringing crowd before again focusing on Xander.

Xander's brain was going a million miles a minute, calculating plans and counter plans at the speed of light, his mental synapses firing infinite numbers of times as he thought of what to do. This guy was out of control, and Xander's current options were limited. He knew that he could take the guy out, but if he used his speed and strength to counter the guy then he would have almost a town full of witnesses who would know that he had the powers of a superhero. Xander didn't want to be the notable hero type, if there was anything he had learned from growing up in the Harris household or from reading comic books, it was that if you draw attention to yourself you get a beating and that Super Heroes and their friends/family were targeted by Super Villains. Life was so much easier if he kept his presence a secret from the rest of the world, he could still play the hero, but nobody needed to know about it. Secondly there was the possibility that a customer minion would be shot if he acted against the gunman. Where as if he got shot anywhere other than his head, he had a very good chance of surviving it and healing rapidly, however somebody getting shot during the opening of a store was usually bad for business, and Xander didn't want to see one of his minions or a Blue Valley resident get killed. Still, if there was one thing that people back in Sunnydale knew about Xander Harris, it was that though he may act like a clown, that when the going got rough, Xander didn't back down.

"Listen buddy, this is the opening day. How about you put down the gun and you and I can step into the back and talk about giving you a job and an advancement on your pay if you need the money, how does that sound?" Xander calmly explained, hands still raised as the twitchy gunman continued to point the gun at Xander.

This is when Murphy and his law decided to add their two cents to the situation, as the cappuccino machine that had been in the process of making a drink before the gunman had entered hissed and spurted steam, causing the gunman to think he was under attack.

The gunman pulled the trigger and though time slowed down, Xander realized that either he was going to get shot, or the minion standing behind him was going to get killed. Thinking quickly, Xander dodged slightly to the side, putting the trajectory of the bullet towards his left shoulder.

As time continued in slow motion, the gun discharged with a loud bang and Xander felt the 9 mm round penetrate his shoulder, pushing him back slightly and sending up a spray of blood. The crowd around the gunman seemed to slowly scream and cringe as the gunman seemed to then turn his gun on the crowd.

The gunman pulled the trigger five times, emitting five rapid barks from the gun in the crazy man's hands, all pointed at the mass of Blue Valley towns folks.

Only, no one got shot.

A blur of red and gold seemed to split the crowd and whirl around the packed coffee shop, at the same time the gunman seemed to slump and go boneless as the blur came to a sudden stop in front of the cash register.

"Sorry I wasn't fast enough to stop you from getting shot, but I just entered the other side of town when I heard that first gunshot." The Flash stated as he dropped five bullets onto the coffee counter and placed the gun next to them.

Xander looked up at the Flash, information going through his head at the same time that his face gave an honestly awed look up at one of his boyhood heroes; Wally West, The Flash.

Flash interrupted Xander's thoughts, "We had better get you some assistance with that shoulder. It doesn't look too bad from here, but you never know." The hero stated.

Xander nodded mutely for a second, before a smile came across his face and a small idea popped into his head as he covered his already healing shoulder.

"Thanks for your help Flash. As a reward for stopping the criminal, how about a coffee on the house?" Xander asked with a grimaced smile, feeling the slug from the 9 mm push itself back out of the entrance wound as his shoulder healed itself and got rid of the intruder in his system. Fortunately for Xander the blood that was on his fingers and on the rag that a minion had handed him covered the fact that his shoulder was almost already at 100% again.

"Nah, coffee doesn't really affect me as my metabolism burns it out of my system to fast. Besides, we need to get you some assistance first." The Flash responded as he started to walk around the counter to help Xander with his shoulder.

Xander fast made a motion towards the wall phone with his head to one of the coffee shop workers, and the worker merely nodded and picked up the phone to call for what sounded like an ambulance.

"No, don't worry about the shoulder." Xander stated, using his 'injured' arm to motion for the Flash to leave him be as Xander righted himself from his situation. "But tell you what, I've got a bet for you Flash. I bet that not only will you feel the effects of my coffee, but that you will love what it does for you also. I'm willing to bet free coffee for the whole crowd against you trying it, and if it works, you have to bring my coffee up to the rest of the Justice League. How does that sound?" Xander offered with a big smile on his face, his eyes twinkling at the possibilities.

The crowd that had been silently listening to the whole situation between Xander and The Flash now cheered at the possibility of not only free coffee, but in seeing if the coffee actually affected The Flash.

Wally West, aka The Flash, turned and looked at the cheering folks from his home town. It wasn't every day that he could help out the place of his birth, and he couldn't really resist the fun nature of the bet. After all, it wasn't as if the coffee could really affect him, what with his super speedy metabolism.

Wally turned towards Xander and smiled, nodded his head and said, "Agreed, you wager free coffee for the folks of the town today, and if you win, I'll import your coffee up to the tower to see if the rest of the Justice League likes it also." With that, Wally held out his hand to shake. Seeing that he had offered to shake Xander's 'bad arm' Wally immediately shifted to offer to shake with his left hand instead, and both Xander and Wally shook hands.

Just then an ambulance pulled up and two remarkably beautiful and familiar girls in paramedics' outfits got out and rushed inside towards Xander; one was a blonde, the other a raven haired beauty.

"Let's get you into the back and fix up this shoulder of yours before we take you to the hospital." Dora the paramedic stated to Xander with a wink, Tara was already acting as if she was applying pressure to Xander's shoulder.

"It's no problem, tis only a flesh wound, I've had worse." Xander stated with a smirk. "Let me finish getting the coffee for The Flash first, and then we can go after I've won my bet." Xander stated, completing his statement with a wink at The Flash.

The Flash good naturedly shook head with a smile, and offered to wait on the coffee. Xander said it wouldn't take more than a minute and proceeded to enter the back of the coffee shop, immediately proceeding out the back door of the coffee shop to where the tanker trucks still full of coffee were parked.

"So cups of coffee burn out of your system too fast for you to feel it Flash?" Xander muttered to himself as a slightly evil/mischievous smile crept across his face. Xander's eyes seemed to shine as he pulled out his shrink-ray gun and pointed it at one of the trucks.

"Well let's see how you react to an entire truck full of my extra-caffeinated black spark-roast shrunk down to the size of an extra-large coffee." Xander finished. With that, Xander triggered the gun and then walked up to the now 24 inch long miniature tanker truck.

Carrying the truck into the back of the shop, Xander used a can opener to pop the back off the tanker truck, and dumped the fluid into a coffee mug that he then warmed up in the microwave.

Taking the mug with him, Xander proceeded to the front of the store where The Flash was busy signing autographs for the crowd and waiting for Xander.

"I think it's only fair that with your metabolism you chug the whole mug of coffee, what with your high metabolism and everything." Xander stated with a smile, "We want this to be a fair wager don't we?"

Wally quirked his head to the side for a second at Xander as a moment of caution in taking the beverage flittered through his head. The Sparkbucks owner seemed to be genuine, and Wally didn't think that there was any way that the owner could have set up the whole getting shot thing just to get The Flash to drink his beverage. _'Nah, it's completely innocent. This guy doesn't seem like the harmful type.'_ Wally convinced himself as he accepted the beverage from the goofy smiling guy with a shrug and drank the whole mug full of coffee in one go.

The crowd watched The Flash drink the coffee in one fast gulp, and then waited to see a result.

Wally set the cup down with a verbal "Ahh, that was really good." Then smiled at Xander as it seemed like he had won the bet.

Less than a second later, Wally twitched.

Xander's smile started to grow.

Then Wally twitched again, and again, and then he started shaking.

Xander's smile grew that much larger.

Within five seconds, The Flash was twitching so quickly, that he appeared to be a blur just standing there.

Then, at the six second mark, Flash's voice stated from within the twitching blur, "Ok, Ok, Ok Ok! This feels good, really good, really great, so great, so great great great great great that I have the urge to run. I mean run really fast, really really fast. Oh look at the pretty birdy. Yep, I need to run. You win, you definitely win. Wow that's good coffee, really really good coffee. See ya!" The Flash's statement came out a babble of words that Xander only understood because he was fluent in Willow babble.

With that, The Flash's vibrating form took off running out the door, running so fast that an after image of The Flash was left behind, with a blurring distinct pattern of colors following a trail out the door of the restaurant and into the distance. It wasn't the normal straight blurred lines of red and gold. No, The Flash was moving so fast that behind him the blur took on a distinct checked pattern of horizontal and vertical gold, green, yellow, blue, and red lines.

"Dear God! The Flash has gone to Plaid!" Xander exclaimed wide eyed, he and the rest of the crowd silently stunned at how quickly The Flash had disappeared.

Finally Tara interrupted Xander and the crowd's stupor, "Come with us sir, we need to get you and your arm to a doctor."

This statement seemed to bring the crowd out of their state, and conversations and smiles picked up again as several minions/baristas silently picked up the unconscious gunman and carried him and his gun out the back door.

Dora and Tara led Xander out the front door, acting as if he was a patient they were helping. Just as he was at the threshold, Xander yelled out behind him, "I may have won the bet, but free coffee for the next hour for everybody." Xander exclaimed.

The patrons of the store all cheered and smiled as the danger from earlier was soon blotted over in their memories as they enjoyed the free fare at Blue Valley's newest coffee shop.

Xander was helped up into the ambulance and Tara climbed in with him and closed the door behind them, Dora ran around to the front to start up the vehicle.

As the ambulance pulled out onto the street and drove towards the city's outskirts, its sirens turning on, Xander pulled the bloody cloth off his arm and looked at his now flawless shoulder that was fully healed.

Concentrating on cleaning up the blood with some antiseptic wipes, Xander mentioned to Dora and Tara, "You know I don't need a doctor, the arm is fully healed."

Tara's reply was to start unbuttoning the blue paramedic's short sleeved shirt she was wearing. "What, you don't want to play doctor with Dora and me?" Tara asked with a sultry voice.

Though it was drowned out by the sound of the sirens, the only reply was Tara's giggles as Xander pounced on her and pinned her to the gurney in the back of the ambulance. Those giggles turned to moans as the ambulance reached a good distance away from the town of Blue Valley, and disappeared into a swirling blue portal.

* * *

Meanwhile, Wally West, The Flash, was running faster than he had ever done in his entire life. In the span of one second, he was able to be in Antarctica, run the Great Wall of China, visit all of the tourist sites in Madrid Spain and Rome Italy, and still have enough time to run up and down the waves during the middle of a Hawaiian big wave surf contest.

He saved a town in Venezuela from a mudslide, just as the town was about to be swept away. The Flash was fast enough to save not only every human and animal in the city, but had enough time to disassemble and reassemble the entire town of wood and corrugated steel in a safe location in that instant before the town would have disappeared.

He saved a boy falling out of a tree in Michigan while at seemingly the same time he snatched a bullet out of the air heading towards a man driving down the interstate in Ohio.

He even had the time to run through Gotham and de-pants the Joker who was trying to escape Batman through a back alley; Wally very quickly saluted Batman before disappearing again in another blur of plaid. The Flash briefly heard Batman yell, "Get out of my city!" before Wally was again too far away.

There was the speed, The Flash was going so fast that he was able to side step in and out of the Speed Force Dimension at will; the place where all the power of the speedsters came from.

That was the running speed, and then there was the hyperactivity that came with it after imbibing Xander's super caffeine saturated shrunken coffee.

The Flash kept getting distracted and acting before his thoughts could catch up with him. He chased birds, ran up and down the sides of mountains and skyscrapers, created waterspouts by running in circles on the ocean and tried to see how many super villains he could tag in as short of a period of time. After the three seconds it took to do all of that, he got bored and decided to see if a few of the other super heroes in the Justice League wanted to get in on the fun.

Coming to a stop, The Flash used his communicator to call Jonn, The Martian Manhunter, who was manning the transportation station at the Watchtower.

"Jonn, Jonn, Jonn, Jonn, Jonn, Jonn…" The Flash kept repeating as fast as possible into his communicator until the Martian finally answered.

"Yes Flash, What can I do for you?" Jonn asked in a voice that seemed to drag out forever to The Flash, but was really stated in Jonn's normal tempo of speech.

"Beam me up. Transport me up. Come on send me up. I want to go to the watch tower. Now, now, now, now. What is taking so long? Why aren't you beaming me up. Please transport me to the station. Come on Jonn, Jonn, Jonn, Jonn. Transport me up." The Flash super speed Willow-babbled.

The Martian Manhunter merely raised an eyebrow ridge as The Flash's entire diatribe had been said in the brief time it took for Jonn's finger to move from its position on the 'L' key to shift towards the 'enter' key on his keyboard; which entered the command to transfer The Flash up to the transporter array right in front of Jonn.

The Flash appeared in the Watchtower right in front Jonn, and The Flash proceeded to wave his hand back and forth quickly in a blur of greeting; the arm waving so fast that it sounded like a humming-bird flapping its wing, only on a hummingbird the size of a full grown human man.

"Hi Jonn! How are you doing Jonn? How's your day going Jonn? What's new Jonn? Anything fun going on today Jonn? Any crisis going on Jonn? How come you aren't answering Jonn?" The Flash again spoke, his voice babbling so fast that the words blurred together into what sounded like The Flash was trying to say the name the world's longest named city: Krung thep maha nakorn amorn ratana kosin mahintar ayutthay amaha dilok phop noppa ratrajathani burirom udom rajaniwes mahasat harn amorn phimarn avatarn sathit sakkattiya visanukamprasit, Thailand.

Jonn, the Martian Manhunter, was concerned that something was wrong with The Flash. Thus, as one of the world's strongest telepaths, Jonn decided to see what was going on in the often quick witted mind of Wally West.

Wally was shocked when Jonn screamed out in agony and then collapsed unconscious.

The Flash was next to the collapsed Martian in an instant, poking Jonn.

"Jonn? Jonn? Jonn? Are you alright Jonn? Speak to me Jonn? Take me to your leader Jonn. I always wanted to say that to you Jonn. Are you alright Jonn? Hey Jonn?" Wally stated, still hyped up on caffeine and poking the unconscious Martian Manhunter who lay before him.

The Flash tried to feel for a pulse, but didn't know if Martians even had a pulse in the first place, so decided to pick up the unconscious alien and speed to the Watchtower's medical facilities.

The Flash entered the medical facility in a blur of plaid and immediately deposited the unconscious Jonn on a medical table and pressed the buttons for the auto-doc to start working.

"What happened?" Dianna, Princess of Themyscira, and ambassador to 'Man's world', aka Wonder Woman, questioned as she rushed over to the medical table where Jonn was being worked on by the auto-doc.

The Flash looked at Wonder Woman and made a big mistake.

Perhaps Xander's bad luck had rubbed off on Wally West, but due to the hyperactive state that he was in, Wally West was acting faster than his brain could keep up with. Normally we have that little voice in the back of our heads that states, 'No, that's not a good idea, don't act out on that thought.' What is also normal is that the human male thinks about sex some forty to seventy times a day, minimum. Further, it was the combined belief of all of Earth's human males and most of its females, regardless of sexual leaning, to agree that Wonder Woman had probably one of the nicest pair of breast in creation.

The Flashes brain went, '_Oh! Boobies! I want to touch!_' And before the now very overworked rational limiting portion of Wally West's brain could shout out, '_No! Whatever you do, Don't grab Wonder Woman's Breast!_' Wally's hands shot out and squeezed Wonder Woman's rack.

"Mmmm, firm yet pleasantly squishy." Wally stated to himself as he gave Wonder Woman's chest another squeeze before the rational portion of his brain kicked in and warned him of his imminent doom.

The Flash's last memories before flying head first through three bulkheads, the cafeteria, and then two more bulkheads before falling unconscious was of Wonder Woman's fist traveling straight for his face. For though the Flash may have been hyped up on caffeine and moving faster than he ever had before, nothing is as fast as a woman's mood going from happy to irate, not even the fastest man in the world.

* * *

**AN: Well, wanted to end that chapter on a fun note. Hope you enjoyed it. (If my wife is reading this, then the last sentence in the story is just a joke honey, really!) **

**I appreciate most of the comments and thoughts from reviewers, as they sometimes give me ideas. Honestly though, if you're going to state in a review that you've already figured out the exact manner in which I'm going to write the rest of the story, then A: Why are you continuing to read if you already think you know the outcome, and B: nope, you're most likely very wrong in your guesses about what happens next and you're just going to have to enjoy the madness as I write it. Still having fun with this story, and still have ideas that I want to write out in further chapters, so we will have to see what happens. Cheers!**


	11. Chapter 11:Needz a Beeg Hat

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, girl genius verse, DC comics or any of that, so give it a rest.

**AN:** **Funding for Xander's crazy plans: Check. Growing his empire: Check. On the path to world domination: Check. Lots more crazy adventures: TBD.**

**AN: Warning, this chapter has not been beta'd. I may be in the hunt for a new beta as mine has escaped from where I left him chained to his computer, and has since then successfully evaded capture.**

**AN: Warning to those not familiar with Girl Genius. ****Jägers do not use proper English when they speak nor proper spelling when it is displayed in writing. But vey hu carez 'bout dot schtuff? Hiz not like der Jägerkin are all dot beeg on ****schpellingk**** anyvay.**

**

* * *

**

'_Thought_'

"Speech"

**Chapter 11: Needz a Beeg Hat**

"Any plan where you lose your hat is a bad plan" ~Jäger

"So what is wrong with him?" Superman asked as he helped the still nauseous but now fully awake Martian Manhunter off of the medical table located in the medical suites of the orbiting Justice League's Watchtower.

Batman, who was leaning over the monitors that surrounded the unconscious form of The Flash, answered, "Well, besides the massive head trauma…" finishing the statement with a glare at Wonder Woman.

"What? I said I was sorry, it was a natural reaction, and I didn't mean to hit him so hard. He should have only gone through one bulk head, not all of the ones he went through." She finished with a mostly apologetic shrug.

"Like I said, besides the massive head trauma his system seems to be burning off an overly large dose of caffeine. Frankly, I'm surprised he survived, but he can thank his abnormal metabolism for that, as well as for the craziness that happened." Batman finished as he pressed a few more buttons and the glass bubble surrounding The Flash receded.

As Flash slowly opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Batman looking down at him.

"How do you feel?" Batman asked, his face a masked scowl of determination; which was pretty much the look that he always had on his face.

"Like I'm waking up from a very long dream." Flash stated as he looked at the heroes who surrounded him.

"You were there," Flash stated as he nodded towards Superman.

"And you were there." Flash stated as he looked at J'onn, noting that J'onn was looking distinctly greener than Wally remembered the Martian being in the past, if that was even possible.

"And your boobies were there." Flash said to Wonder Woman as a dazed smile started to grow across his face.

Wonder Woman decked The Flash, knocking the man again into unconsciousness.

Batman, Superman and the Martian Manhunter all turned to stare at Wonder Woman.

"What?" She asked somewhat innocently, "He's obviously still under the effects of the caffeine and he needs his rest." She finished, this time staring the men down and daring them to contradict her as she clenched her fist and her knuckles cracked.

"Works for me." Superman stated as he rapidly floated away, Ma Kent hadn't raised no fool.

"I agree." Batman stated, as the only totally normal super hero, he relied on his brains to survive, and his brains was screaming a warning at him in thirty different languages. With the way Wonder Woman was looking at the men, no amount of logical or strategic thinking would get Bruce out of this situation alive if he didn't agree; for irate women are nether logical nor able to be reasoned with. With that, Batman swept towards a darkened corner of the medical bay and seemed to disappear; he had a some crime in associated with the sewers of Gotham to look into.

"Whatever, I'm going to go get drunk and see if I can blur my memories." The Martian Manhunter stated. As he phased through the floor, the Martian was heard to mumble, "It was like a million brain cells cried out in agony, and then silence." With that the male heroes left The Flash unconscious and alone with Wonder Woman.

Wonder Woman glared down at the unconscious Flash for a second before looking around to make sure she was alone.

Seeing that nobody was around, she reached her hand down the front of The Flash's spandex pants and gave him a grope.

"There, we're even." She stated with a nod. She was a warrior, and warriors were all about honor and equality, and she wasn't about to let a man get a grope on her if she wasn't able to get an equal one. With that, she too left the medical center.

Behind her, the unconscious Wally West grew a smile, along with a new lump growing on his head.

* * *

Xander was thinking that he needed to make a change of plans. For the last three weeks he had been just letting his flights of fancy lead him to create whatever his subconscious wished. Unfortunately, Xander's actions and lack of concrete planning had led him into a situation where he had been faced with displaying his abilities in pubic, or face a situation where he allowed a whole bunch of innocent people to get shot and possibly killed. So in order to make a new plan, he needed to finish the one that had brought him to this little valley in the first place, he needed to find more Nth Metal and fix his weakness to magic. After that, he could focus on the next task.

With that thought firmly entrenched in his mind, Xander walked across his bedroom to the nice rollout cherry wood desk that was at the side of the room, and picked up the 'Nth Direction' device that he had created back in Metropolis.

Flipping the device on, Xander followed the directions from the patient female British voice as it led him out the door and down towards the dungeons and laboratories, perhaps his search wouldn't take too long after all.

* * *

Der Jägerkin were being used throughout the valley for not only security but also for some manual labor around the chateau; the kind of stuff that was too dangerous for the human minions to complete.

Thus Xander had assigned several of Da Boyz to feed the tentacle monsters located in the pit traps throughout the building, as Xander wasn't about to have Dora or Tara do that; Xander had seen way too many anime movies in his early teenage days, and he didn't want to put the two girls through that.

Four of the Da Jäger Boyz were working on a pit trap outside the Master's bedroom doors when the Master opened the door and stepped out and resolutely marched down the hall following the directions that were being relayed from the device in Xander's hands; Xander was subconsciously dodging the grasping tentacles and leaping over the pit with as much difficulty as a normal person would have while walking down a clear sidewalk on a summer's afternoon.

"Der Boss doesnz't seemz ta be doinz very vell tadayz." Stated one of the sharp toothed Jäger who was red furred and busy fighting off several tentacles with a triple-headed halberd.

"Yaz, I agreez dat der Boss iz tooz zerious tadayz, hez needz ta goes flirtzing wit da goilz or goes findz hizself a fightz." A purple furred Jäger stated, finishing his statement by chomping his sharp teeth onto the tentacle that was trying to wrap around him; causing the tentacle to shiver in pain and then disappear back down into the pit in the floor.

A blue furred Jäger tossed in a variety of what looked like chunks of raw meat into the pit, which in turn caused the tentacles to all disappear back into the pit. Finished, Da Boyz pressed a hidden button on the side of the wall, and the trap doors to the pit closed again.

The blue furred Jäger suggested, "We need to get der Boss something to getz him smilingz again." His words seeming to come out in almost proper English.

The other three Jäger's all looked at the blue furred Jäger with an inquisitive look. "Viz ya feelinkz okayz? Yaz talkinz funzy." One Jäger asked.

The blue furred Jäger seemed to blush a deeper shade of blue, and mumbled, "I havez a cold and its messing witz my sinusez."

"Ah, vel den, noz harmz noz foulz." The red furred Jäger stated, punctuating his statement with a slap to the back of the blue Jäger; a slap that would have broken a regular man in half, but was like a mother burping a baby to a Jäger.

"Iz noez! Ve getz der Boss a Hat!" The up till now quiet cream colored Jäger stood up straight and exclaimed.

The other three Jägerkin all looked at each other, and then grew large sharp toothed smiles that would have looked more normal on a Cheshire cat from Wonderland.

"Datz ayez greatz ideea!" Two of the other Jägers cried out together, all of them now patting the other on the back.

The pats and slapping of backs became blows, and soon the Jäger were all smiling as they rolled around and on the ground of the hallway punching and fighting each other. Finally one Jäger got thrown out of the melee after a receiving a pretty vicious blow to his head that sent him sailing down the hall.

"Dratz, Imz da virst onez outz of da fight." The cream colored Jäger grumbled as he picked himself off of the ground totally unfazed by the previous blow.

"Vait! Da Hat!" The memory of what they were about to do caused the cream colored Jäger to call out to the other Jägerkin.

The other Jägers stopped mid brawl right where they were at; the teeth of one Jäger were latched onto the buttock of another, hands were wrapped around throats, feet were in the process of kicking groins, and fist was reared back to punch another Jäger in the face. The Jäger's on the floor all looked at each other, then at the cream colored Jäger and then all seemed to instantaneously be standing as they were before.

"Yerz rightz. Da Hat is more importantz ven der fightz." The blue Jäger stated, his comments sounding more like something said by a normal human rather than a Jäger.

With that, all of the Jägers ran down the hallway towards the exit of the house, off to find a hat for Xander.

As they disappeared down the hall, the red Jäger was heard to tell the blue Jäger, "Ve realeez kneadz taz getz vous nooz fixedz, yuz soundink weirdz."

* * *

Meanwhile, Xander had followed the voice of the Nth Direction device down to the laboratories and found himself standing in front of the door where the Black Heterodyne had met his nasty end; or rather, he was standing looking at the door across the hall from the former private lab.

"Chateau, please open up the former Heterodyne's private parts storage room." Xander exclaimed into the air around him.

"Yes dear. Remind me to talk to you about your new exercise routine when you get done down there Xander, and make sure to have your bed made, your room is getting messy." The maternal voice of the chateau answered back to him.

Xander rolled his eyes as he walked into the storage room, and then grimaced as he heard the chateau harp at him.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me young man, for that you're going to get an extra hour of exercise." The chateau stated, before going quiet and leaving him to his work.

Xander internally fumed for a second, before entering the storage room and looking around.

The walls were full of about what he had expected to be kept in a private stash of an evil mad genius. Mechanical parts and weapons lined the walls, interspersed with animal and human body parts that seemed to be floating in some sort of fluid; the creepy part was that the eyes in the jars all turned to watch him as Xander moved further into the room.

It was the back of the room that Xander was interested in, as that was where the directional device was leading him.

Sure enough, laying against the back wall was a stack of about one hundred ingots of what Xander recognized as Nth Metal, all stacked neatly together next to stacks of ingots of precious metals and a trapdoor with a sign above it that stated, "Private Escape Route."

Xander shook his head at the labeled route, but it did fit the insanity that was most Heterodynes, so he moved towards the ingots and started carrying them out into the hall where he again stacked them; He'd have Igor and several of the men move them into the bio-mechanical room where Xander was currently keeping the headless corpse of Amazo.

An hour later, Xander was in the bio-mechanical room using a chainsaw with a diamond toothed chain to cut into the chest cavity of Amazo; it was time to see how this guy worked. Xander whistled while he worked on Amazo, in the background of the lab several minions were loaded the Nth Metal ingots into a smelter and were liquefying the metal.

Based on an analysis of the sliver of metal from Hawkgirl's mace, Xander knew that if he added a certain set of chemicals to the liquefied metal that it would harden into an amazingly strong material almost impervious to damage whether physical, elemental or magical.

Xander hadn't liked getting shot, and his dance with death had him concerned that he needed to give himself some serious protection. The problems he was facing at the moment were that he didn't have enough of the Nth Metal to make up a full suit of armor, and that even if he built the armor, he wasn't going to be wearing it all of the time because it would make him stand out way too much; not to mention that it would hinder his ability to go 'flirtzing wit da goilz.'

Xander finished cutting open Amazo's chest and carried the lump of internal organs and machinery over towards his magnification and analysis work space.

Looking through the magnification viewer on his tools, Xander scoffed.

"Bah, that fool Ivo used a combination of both mechanical parts and nanotechnology; but it's the bulky mechanical parts that actual do the majority of the work. Any two bit scientist with half an ounce of insane genius could build this, it's so simple!" Xander sneered at the design.

Whistling a tune to himself, Xander went about interpreting the workings of the mechanical parts and the nanobots present in Amazo's corpse and began to improve upon them.

Thirty minutes later Xander knew what he wanted to do.

"Toots!" Xander yelled, and his little clank hopped out from under a work bench and ran up to Xander to give him a salute.

"Toot toot." The little clank stated with a salute.

"Go round up about five thousand of the general use little clanks and get them to come here, they're about to get an upgrade and a bath." Xander stated.

The little clank again saluted and darted out of the room. Less than a minute later, the sounds of thousands of little feet quickly clanking down the stone halls of the dungeon could be heard, and a wave of little clanks of all sizes and with all sorts of attached tools flooded into the lab to surround Xander.

"Ok gang, time for a bit of maintenance then a dip into the metal bath." Xander stated with a smile, the glow of madness starting to come from his eyes.

The next three hours were full of the sounds of hammering, small explosions, drilling, a sheep bleating, ratchets clanking, saws cutting, and a duck quacking.

By the time Xander had finished, the corpse of Amazo was no longer present in the laboratory. Instead the army of 5000 little clanks had been upgraded with the Amazo technology as well as some additional technology that Xander had upgraded, namely full databases of medical technology, the creation technology copied from his coffee engine (he still wasn't sure how it worked, he only knew that it did work) as well as a miniaturized version of the shrink-ray tech with a reverse beam technology as well.

"Ok gang, everybody take a dip in the Nth Metal pool and then quickly enter the hard coating and joint-loosening machine." Xander commanded, pointing to the pool of liquid Nth Metal and then to a conveyor belt that disappeared into a long tunnel like machine; a conveyor belt came out the backside of the machine and proceeded across the room to end hovering over a twin sized bed with a pillow and sheets.

The pattering of thousands of little mechanical feet was heard as the army of little upgraded clanks were directed by Toots through the bath and then onto the conveyor belt of the machine.

While this was going on, the gleam of madness was shining through Xander's eyes as he monologued.

"Wa ha ha, my plan will soon be complete! No longer will Xander Harris-Heterodyne be Magic's butt boy, No! With my Nth Metal covered clanks, I shall have the ability to gain the super powers of the heroes and villains with the added benefit of being immune to magic! Wa ha ha ha ha. If this works, my healing factor should quadruple and I should see my body increase to the peak of physical fitness. " Xander monologued, several minions in the background of the lab took on maniacal looks of their own as it seemed Xander's madness was slightly contagious.

Walking towards the bed at the end of the conveyor belt, Xander picked up a portable sign and attached it right at the end of the belt; it read "Shrink Here!"

As Xander lay down on the bed, situating the pillow and his head so that it was under the conveyor belt, he continued to chuckle to himself.

"Any fool two bit scientist can build little nanobots. It takes a true mind of genius to make robots that contain all that he could ever want in internal helpers and then shrink them into the proper size. With these bots complete, I shall have an army of little clanks literally at my finger tips. Bwa ha ha ha, Bwa ha ha ha ha ha… ahem." Xander stopped his evil sounding laughter as the machine above him dinged, letting him know that the first of the Nth Metal and fully upgraded clanks was completed and out of the machine.

With that, Xander laid back on the pillow and opened his mouth, and a slow trickle of granular sized miniaturized clanks cascaded off of the conveyor belt and fell perfectly into Xander's mouth, all except for the last little clank who was a bit dizzy from the heights of the conveyor belt and forgot to shrink before landing on Xander's face.

"Ouch! Yous sons ohf ah… Shrinks damnsit!" Xander said with his mouth held wide open so that he didn't spill out any of the other little clanks. The last clank finally shrank and then the now infinitesimally small clank jumped into his mouth to join the rest of its brethren.

With that, Xander swallowed, and then accepted the glass of water that one of the minions provided him.

"Blech, tastes like a mouth full of metal." Xander said as he finished drinking down the water to clear the taste of the little clanks in his mouth.

Getting up, Xander wandered over to the pool where the liquid Nth Metal had been, and saw that it was now completely empty.

"Damn, I need to get more of that stuff for added protection. The little guys in my belly should spread out and multiply over the coming days, but it's going to take some time before they are fully integrated into my system and finish the upgrades and health assessment that I programmed into them." Xander explained to a note taking lab assistant. Xander took the clipboard from the assistant and noted that his supplies of Nth Metal were completely tapped out.

Handing back the clip board, Xander started to walk out of the lab while talking to himself, "I wish there was a faster way to pinpoint the location of the Nth Metal and get to it immediately." Xander finished as he walked down the hall.

Suddenly Xander's eyes got big, and then he scrunched up his eyes and his forehead, followed by palm slapped his face.

"Do'h! I'm an idiot. I already have everything I need to find and gather the Nth Metal quickly." Xander stated. With that, Xander darted back into the laboratory behind him, grabbed the Nth Direction device, and then sprinted off down the halls towards the transit center in the middle of town.

* * *

As the afternoon turned into evening, portals opened up all over the Sahara desert, Siberia, off the coast of Mexico, throughout the outback of Australia, and across north America as Xander's minions harvested meteor strikes for their Nth metal.

As Xander stood looking out over the world map located in the command room of the transit center, things were finally looking up for him and he should have been happy with his ongoing success coupled with his staying slightly under the radar of the dimension's super villains and heroes.

'_So why is it that I have this sudden fear of imminent doom trickling down my spine.' _Xander thought to himself as he smiled at his recent successes and walked out of the transit center and into the darkening evening; the mountains around Xander's valley cast their shadows on the town and caused it to get dark faster than if he had been situated in another region.

"Your exercise time begins in t-minus ten seconds and counting." The voice of the chateau began from speakers hidden in the walls of the town around him. "Have a nice day."

"Oh crap! That's why!" Xander stated as he took off running away from the town as quickly as he could. Unfortunately for him the abilities he had stolen from Amazo hadn't kicked in yet, and it would be several hours before he gained super speed. The voice of the chateau issued from speakers situated around the town, slowly counting down from ten to zero. Xander knew that when it hit zero, all hell was going to break lose after him.

The chateau had stated that Xander needed to work on his exercise, and like most buildings owned by super heroes, villains, mad scientists or heterodynes, the building's idea of 'exercise' was a bit insane and had no resemblance to a nice easy afternoon spent lifting thousand pound weights in the gym or having a nice spar with somebody as skilled in fighting as Batman.

Screw the X-men and their danger room, Xander's entire house and the valley surrounding it was one big danger zone.

With that thought running through his head, the speakers finished counting down to zero, and hellfire seemed to light the night sky.

The weirdly shaped golem like lamp posts of the town's many streets all seemed to explode in fire as flames washed over their forms. Red eyes opened up and pivoted to track Xander as wings shot out of the mechanical golems' backs, and the flaming clanks came to life and lifted off into the air.

Xander didn't even bother to look back, as he knew that the glow that was increasingly lighting the area around him could only spell trouble. Speeding along, he only had a brief moment where a little voice told him to dive to the right, before a flaming mechanized terror plowed into the ground where Xander had just been.

"This is nuts." Xander spat as he rolled out of his dive and took off running up the side of one of the mountains. "At least they are sticking to physical attacks." Xander huffed as he continued to gain altitude on the mountain while dodging the diving machines, the flames of their bodies getting close enough to singe some of Xander's hair.

Xander stood briefly in front of a large bolder, and then dived out of the way just as one of the golems dived at him, successfully causing the robot to break off a wing and a leg as it missed Xander and plowed into the rock.

"Ha ha! I got ya!" Xander said triumphantly as he pumped his fist, only to give an "Eeep!" and dive out of the way of a searing plasma ball that was shot at him from the mouth of one of the golems and barely missed Xander's head.

Looking up, Xander's eyes got big as a speaker in one of the golems stated, "Commencing level 2," and all of the golem's mouths opened up to reveal plasma blaster arrays. Xander's eyes boggled and he again took off running towards the peak above him, hoping to figure out something that would get him away from these monsters.

Sprinting, going as fast as he could, Xander started to push himself faster than he had run before. Faster and faster he went, legs pumping and churning up the loose rocks and soil beneath him as he sprinted up the mountains side.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Xander began to gain distance on his robotic 'exercise' partners, but he was still having to devote time to dodging back and forth as plasma balls rained down on him; vaporizing plants along his path.

Xander was going faster, and faster, and right before he reached the lowest peak of the mountain he briefly looked behind him to see how far away the attacking clanks were, and ended up stepping off into nothing but air.

The back side of the first peak was a steep thousand foot jagged drop off.

Xander's head swung back to look at his path as his foot lost traction and failed to hit a solid surface; he realized too late that he had just run off the edge of a cliff.

The trailing sound of Xander's voice yelling, "!" disappeared down the face of the cliff, and then there was silence.

The mechanical clanks all hovered at the edge of the cliff, waiting to hear if there was a 'splatting' sound of a body on sharp rocks, but the next thing they knew Xander flew by them at an incredible speed going, "Waaaahoooo!"

Xander was airborne and flying as quickly as he could towards the chateau, for though the shrunken little clanks hadn't multiplied enough to give him Amazo's powers, Xander's blood was flowing with many times more than the amount of Nth Metal needed to allow him to fly.

A voice from the clanks stated, "Commencing level 3," and the flaming mechanized clanks shot into the air after Xander, who dodged and weaved, ducked, dived and darted around the attacking robots and their fiery plasma balls.

Below the quickly flying Xander, the roofs of the town's houses opened up and bright streams of tracer rounds shot into the night sky as the anti-air defenses added another obstacle for Xander to dodge.

In the town below, the towns folk "Ohhh'ed" and "Ahhh'ed" at the fireworks display Xander was providing for them, as long contrails of flame zigzagged the night sky and plasma balls exploded in seemingly pyroclastic displays.

All too soon the display was over, as Xander tired of the chase, dodged the claws of two of the robots, weaved in between two streams of tracer shells, and flew as fast as he could towards the chateau.

Reaching the front door on the porch of the Chateau, Xander tagged the front door and yelled out, "Base! Ha Ha! You can't get me, you can't get me! Ha Ha!"

The robots stopped their chase of Xander and looked chagrined as they lowered their heads and turned off their flames, landing and shuffling their feet in the dirt with bowed heads as they slowly proceeded down the hill to again take up their positions as street lights.

"Ah, don't be like that guys. We can try this again another night." Xander stated.

The robots heads all lifted as they looked at Xander and nodded. With that, the robots all moved determinedly down the hill to resume their posts, while Xander entered the chateau to clean up after his daily bought of light exercise.

* * *

At the same time in Gotham,

The Batman flew head first across the cavernous room located deep within the Gotham sewers; propelled by the armor scaled knuckles of Killer Croc.

Batman rolled down the slope of the wall, and crumpled for a second, before quickly rolling under the sweeping tale of the large crocodile like super villain who was attempting to take off the Batman's head.

Unfortunately for Batman, he wasn't fast enough to dodge the outstretched clawed hand of Croc as it grabbed Batman by the neck and picked the struggling hero up off the sewer floor.

"I'm going to enjoy biting off your head and then eating your heart Batman." Croc's graveling voice rumbled from his snout as he went to bite Batman's head off.

However before the Croc could kill Batman, a voice from behind interrupted, "Vel vill ya look at der size of datz onez! Now ver iz da makingz fer a greatz beeg Hat!" Came a slightly slurred and Germanic sounding voice.

"Yaz I agreez, letz getz it Boyz!" came a second voice as a cream colored creature charged out with a three headed halberd.

"Tally'z Ho, Another timez into za gap we goez!" A blue colored figure shouted as it ran out of the darkness wielding a Calvary saber.

With that, four sharp toothed figures charged out of one of the side tunnels of the sewer and charged Killer Croc.

Croc threw Batman at a wall in front of him, effectively dazing the hero just as Croc was tackled and slashed from the side by the four figures.

Slashes and claws and super strength met in a smack down of epic proportions as bladed weapons initially hacked into Killer Croc and were eventually broken or mashed due to the strength of the combatants. The resulting struggle turned into a roiling mass of tumbling combatants who were all trying to tear off arms, bite out jugulars and punch in faces as they rolled across the puddles of sewage that dotted the floor of the cavern.

The blood of the combatants stained the pools of fetid water of the sewers, but the outcome of the battle was never an uncertainty, as even with his super strength and armored skin, Killer Croc was evenly matched with one Jäger, but not a problem for two of the hunter monster Jägerkin let alone the four of them that attacked him all at once.

Standing over the now unconscious and heavily bleeding form of Killer Croc, a soon to be very dead Killer Croc that is, the four Jägers congratulated each other on a successful and fun hunt.

"Goudz fightzing Boyz." The red Jäger stated.

"Yepz, goodz fightz." The blue Jäger returned as he looked away from the dying Croc to face the red Jäger.

"Um, Redz, yuz lostz yer arm." Blue stated, pointing at where red was missing an arm.

"Noz Iz hazents." Red said as he raised his good arm at the blue Jäger.

"Noz, der otherz arm." The cream colored Jäger stated as sure enough, he picked up the severed left arm of red and used it to wave 'hi' back at the red Jäger.

Red merely shrugged, "Eh, Iz hadz worz. Der Boss canz fix meez leeterz." Red stated as he accepted his arm from the cream colored Jäger.

With that, the four Jägerkin started to pick up the body of Killer Croc to carry it off with them, totally ignoring the now struggling to stand Batman.

A Batarang flew across the room towards the Jägers, only for the purple Jäger to catch it out of the air before it could hit any of them.

"Tankz yuz fur diz souvineerz." The purple stated with a smile and a wave at the staggering Batman.

Not daunted by the initial defeat at the hands of these monsters, Batman pulled out a bat-tazer and shot the blue Jäger with 100,000 volts.

The resulting Zap didn't faze the blue Jäger at all, instead his response was a slight chuckle accompanied by a, "Stopz, datz ticklez."

Next Batman pulled out a can of Bat-pepper spray and threw it at the four creatures.

The resulting bang and large cloud of dark pepper gas blew up right in the middle of the Jägers, covering them totally and making them disappear from sight; yet no coughing accompanied the pepper gas grenade.

Batman held back a second to see if there was any reaction, but was again startled to hear from the cloud.

"Yumz, diz iz goodz pepperz, I'z goingz ta makez a crocz and pepperz pie" said one voice.

A second voice replied, "Iz lovez der peppered crocz pie, Yum!"

After that, the cloud of pepper spray finally dissipated, and Batman shook off his concussion and charged into the mass of bodies in order to stop the creatures from taking and eating Killer Croc.

Before he could punch the purple Jäger in the face, Batman got slapped across the face hard with a disembodied red arm; effectively knocking Batman to the ground in a daze.

"Datz not very nize tryingz ta atak us ven ve vere only tryingz ta getz der Boss a beeg Hat." The cream colored Jäger stated.

Batman blinked in amazement as he tried to clear his vision, stunned that his attack had been thwarted so easily. Before he could react or attack again, the four Jägers acted with superhuman speed and had Batman tied up in his own cape.

"And Datz vhy der Boss sayz noz capez." The red Jäger stated, punctuated his statement by waggling his disembodied arm at the other Jägers.

With that, the four Jägerkin picked up the body of Killer Croc and disappeared into the darkness of the sewers; comparing recipes for crocodile pie with pepper.

Behind them they left a furiously struggling and growling Batman, tied up in his cape and muffled with the torn shirt of Killer Croc shoved into Batman's mouth.

* * *

**AN: Good stopping spot for now. Hope you enjoy****ed it. There, to answer your question, there will be Jägers, and there will be a Beeg Hat. Tally ho then, pip pip and all that rot.**


	12. Chapter 12: A Painful Day

'_Thought_'

"Speech"

**Chapter 12: A Painful Day**

"The aim of the wise is not to secure pleasure, but to avoid pain." ~Aristotle

That Xander wasn't feeling well was putting it mildly. His day had started early when he woke up to the sound of a slight honking noise and the feeling of a slight cold breeze. Upon struggling to wake up, he realized that he wasn't in his bed but didn't know where he was. Struggling to figure out what his sleepy brain was telling him, he looked to the left and saw a 'v' of Canadian geese fly, and then he again averted his gaze forward, stretched, yawned, and then rubbed his eyes. It was then that Xander's brain fully engaged and his mental alarms started screaming at him.

'_Danger! __Danger! __Will __Robinson, __um, __I __mean __Danger! __Danger __Xander __Harris!_' A voice screamed in his head, causing Xander's eyes to fly wide open.

Xander's mental answer was to scream _'Shit!'_as below him, far below him, was a small doll sized Heterodyne chateau and town of New Mechanicsburg nestled in its scenic mountain valley.

Unfortunately to add to Xander's situation, the mental '_shit'_ and corresponding mind numbing fear of waking up to find yourself floating at 15,000 feet above the ground caused Xander's flight capabilities to give out, and Xander plummeted towards the ground.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Xander screamed out in fear as he started falling.

The wind whipped Xander into a tail spin and he found himself tumbling head over heels trying to get a mental grip on what to do. Unfortunately for Xander, the fear of the situation was then multiplied as his genius brain started contemplating such helpful facts as, _'Wow,__you__really__do__accelerate__at__9.8__meters__per__second__squared!'_or _'Hmmm, __I've __always __wondered __if __the __fear __of __the __actual __fall __ever __killed __a __man, __or __if __it __was __always __the __sudden __stop __at __the __end?'_

"Not Helping Brain!" Xander yelled, now screaming at himself in his moment of terror as he broke through a light layer of clouds and continued plummeting towards the Chateau and the large 'fish' pond that he had installed behind it.

Having been caught totally off guard and in a situation that the heterodyne memories weren't experienced in, Xander struggled to remember how he had used the Nth Metal in his system to trigger his flight skills; all the while the chateau and its curtilage appeared to be getting bigger and bigger as the wind tore at him and the pair of smiley faced boxers that he had gone to sleep in.

Finally, at 150 feet Xander's fear turned into anger, "I REFUSE to die this way!" Xander screamed at the sky around him, struggling to right himself out of his spin.

With that said Xander's random non-helpful thoughts stopped and his mind fully focused on the rapidly approaching ground and the problem at hand.

"Fly Damn it!" Xander growled as he tried to push his arms out to stabilize his fall and present as much surface area as possible.

At his demand to fly it was like a switch was thrown, and Xander's flight abilities kicked in.

Xander felt his body become lighter and he started to slow down; unfortunately he wasn't slowing fast enough as inertia and gravity had joined forces against him and were unwilling to let go of their hold on his body.

At the 100 foot mark, Xander only had a moment to mentally force his downward vector away from the spire and lightning rod studded roof of the chateau and towards the back pond as he hit the ground; fortunately with a giant splash rather than a splat.

Unfortunately, this is where Murphy decided to add his two cents to Xander's morning in two ways.

First, Xander's prone position and impact had just put him in the running for the 'Guinness Book of World's Records' for 'most painful belly flop.'

Second, the pond was filled with sharks, but not any nice cuddly type of shark like a Great White, no; these were the sharks of a mad genius. These were sharks with freaking laser beams stuck to their noggins.

Xander's impact on the surface of the large deep pond caused a plume of water to shoot back into the sky launching droplets of water and one injured shark into the air to fall back to the surface of the pond.

To add insult to injury however, the injury of the shark spilt blood into the water of the briny pond, and the water was quickly churned into a feeding frenzy of thrashing teeth and blasting lasers.

Xander had been briefly stunned by the fall, thanks to his inhuman constitution and his influx of shrunken clanks that were spreading through his body, still, it only took that moment for the sharks to smell the blood and target the intruder in their midst.

Xander dodged teeth as a wall of mouths seemed to come at him from all directions. Diving deeper into the pond, Xander was fortunate enough to swim out of reach of the initial attack by the predators, but now they were hot on his trail.

Xander twisted and turned and zigzagged through the roiling mass as quickly as he could, but there was no way he was going to come out fully unscathed. The laser blasts were probably the worst as Xander received a hole through his right hand and his left bicep from beams that he couldn't get out of the way of. He dodged teeth, but still took a swat from a few tails that bruised his ribs and would have broken them in a normal human. It was only by exploding straight up out of the pool, using his flying abilities again, that Xander was able to escape; narrowly avoiding one of the sharks that had attempted to leap out of the water after him.

Xander hovered for a second above the pond, the skin of his face and the front of his body was colored lobster red from the belly flop and he was still slightly bleeding from the already closing wounds on his hand and arm; the red color of his skin also quickly disappeared as his healing factor took care of his injuries. Unfortunately his healing still left a slight residual ache that would stay with him for the next hour.

The sharks below him quieted down and only made a few half hearted attempts to blast him out of the sky with their noggin lasers, but Xander was again conscious enough to easily dodge the blasts before he could get targeted.

With that, Xander flew towards the house to start his day.

"What a way to wake up in the morning. Mental note: no sleeping with the window open." Xander stated as he walked inside wearing only his soaking wet smiley faced boxers.

By the time Xander had made it to his room and gotten changed, he was ticked off with himself and his aching body wasn't helping all that much either.

'_It's __one __thing __to __be __faced __with __a __situation __I've __never __been __faced __with __before, __but __it's __another __to __freeze __up __when __faced __with __it.'_Xander mentally berated himself.

Really, he realized that he couldn't blame himself for one hundred percent of the problem. On top of the fun with the sharks his body was running a slight fever from his natural and primal healing factor fighting against the spread of the nano-clanks. In short, the upgrade of his body made him feel like he had caught a bad cold with fever, headache, nausea and aches and pains; fortunately without the runny nose or cough.

This headache and nausea were further compounded by the entrance of four Jäger Boyz bearing presents and 'food'.

"Boss, Ve broughtz hyu pie und presentz!" The blue Jäger stated, as he shoved some sort of pastery covered spicy smelling pie under Xander's nose.

Xander choked down the bile that his body threatened to gag up at the smell of the 'pie,' and covered his face with one hand while lightly pushing said 'pie' away from his face.

"Und ve vere vonderink if hyu kould givf us a hand?" The red Jäger questioned, waving the severed red furred arm at Xander to punctuate the question.

"Damn, I appreciate the pie and presents, but let's get that arm fixed first." Xander stated as he flinched with empathetic pain when he saw the flopping dismembered arm; besides, focusing on fixing the arm would give him a chance to get away from the 'pie.'

'_Ok, __so __maybe __my __morning __wasn't __that __bad __in __comparison.'_ Xander thought to himself as he picked the red furred arm out of the red Jäger's grasp and pushed past the cream colored Jäger who was carrying a large cloth covered item of indistinguishable shape.

Xander led the way out into the hall and proceeded through the halls and towards the dungeon.

As Xander passed the library Igor stepped up to Xander's side and kept pace with Xander.

"Sir, here are the results of the expansion of the corporation into the major cities of North America and I should have the details for the rest of the world expansion by this afternoon." Igor stated as he handed a portable data pad to Xander, which he took with his free hand.

Xander perused the spreadsheet present on the data pad and saw that his Sparkbuck's coffee shops had already started popping up in cities like Gotham, Metropolis, Faucet City, as well as all of the major cities that he had remembered from his original dimension.

"We had to reincorporate a portion of the company in the Europe in order to maximize the legal and security protection. As always, the corporations have been processed through your minions and holding companies, nowhere was your name attached to any of the documentation or government forms as per your orders Sir." Igor continued as he flipped through one of the handheld computer devices that Xander had whipped together one night while asleep.

Igor then began to regurgitate figures and cash flow projection numbers as Xander led the rag tag group of Jägers towards the chemistry laboratory. The continued diatribe of accounting information added to the smell of the pie that was being carried next to Xander; the combination made Xander's headache and nausea that much worse.

By the time they made it to the chemistry lab, the combination of aches, pains, and accounting information was enough to make Xander want to slay something in order to relieve his mounting frustration.

"Stop Igor. Just stop." Xander cut Igor's descriptions off in the middle of a sentence on a tri-part merger of several of Xander's holding companies and a partial hostile takeover of coffee shops already existing in several of the target expansion cities and countries. Behind him, Xander listened to the Jägers discussing the merits of beer versus ale and whether a bar fight was better than a cage fight or the other way around, and it was all starting to get on his nerves.

"Listen, I trust you to manage the businesses and you have my permission to sign any forms necessary. I don't need to know the minutia of expanding our coffee and surveillance efforts into an individual city or country. Just come to me when we have a problem or if you have some interesting information." Xander directed.

Igor simply nodded his head and parted company, silently walking back towards the main part of the chateau.

Xander pushed his way through the door of the chemistry lab where he had created Der Jägerbräu and headed towards the chemistry supply closet in the back of the room while at the same time pointing silently to a wooden medical/torture table that was in the room. The red Jäger followed the unspoken order and hopped up onto the table.

"So guys, how did this loss of arm thing happen?" Xander questioned as he walked out of the supply closet, all the while mixing in chemicals and dropping sparking blocks of slimy solid materials into a beaker.

"Vell, ve vere huntink for yer present, und it fought back." The purple Jäger stated with a shrug, as if it was the most normal thing in the world to go present shopping and have your arm torn off.

"I see." Xander stated, not really understanding at all. "Ok then, what is this present?" Xander replied, finishing mixing the chemicals together in a beaker and then adding a shot of high octane Jägermeister to the potion and then lighting it on fire with the flame from a Bunsen burner. With that, Xander turned around towards the Jägers to give the red Jäger the potion.

"Supprize! Itz yer Beeg Hat!" The four Jägers yelled as the cream colored Jäger pulled the cloth off of the gift.

Xander was so surprised that he almost dropped the potion that he was carrying, as his new "Beeg Hat" was smiling at him with more teeth than he knew existed on an animal; it was kind of creepy when the sharp toothed smiling hat was being held by equally sharp toothed smiling Jägers.

The hat was the head of a crocodile, but instead of eyes it had great big blinking red lights on it and perched on the head of the crocodile was a large gaudy gold crown with the words 'Da Boss's Beeg Hat'. To add to the effect of the hat, the purple Jäger quickly pulled out a lighter from his pocket and flicked the flint over the crown, igniting a hidden gas jet on the top of the crown and causing a large flame to shoot up from the top of it.

Xander was so stunned by the hat that he stood there slack jawed while the cream colored Jäger put it on Xander's head.

"Dat loukz goodz Boss." The red Jäger stated with a smile.

"Yez, hyu'll have al der goilz cirlingz aroundz ya now." The purple Jäger agreed.

"Hyu're almost as goot lookink as ve are now." The blue one nodded in agreement.

Xander blinked, and smiled for the first time that day.

"Thanks guys, I know what hats mean to you, so I really appreciate it." Xander stated with a large grin growing across his face, the four Jägers all puffed out their chests at the compliment.

Xander ignored the Jäger without the arm for a second and walked over to a large mirror that was against a wall of the room; who knows why a mirror would be kept in a chemistry lab, but there it was.

Xander looked at his reflection in the mirror, and realized that he had never looked more like a true Heterodyne before. Xander just stared at his reflection. What a site it was, wearing a giant smiling, flaming, predatory hat, carrying a flaming chemistry beaker in one hand, a disembodied arm in the other, and standing in a dark dungeon chemistry lab surrounded by monsters.

"Bwa ha ha. Bwa ha ha ha ha. Bwa HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Xander started laughing, cackling, chortling and bellowing with laughter as the stress of the morning kind of got to him and the crazy situation that he found himself in, caused him to finally release part of the tension that he had built up that morning.

"Da boss iz kind uf scary." The purple Jäger whispered out of the side of his mouth to the other Jägers as they stared at their boss crazily laughing his head off.

"Vell, he iz a Heterodyne, vat do hyu ekspeck?" The red Jäger whispered back, and the rest of the Jägers all nodded in agreement.

"Ha ha, oh, sorry guys, I really needed that laugh." Xander stated as he used the disembodied arm to wipe the tears out of his eyes that had formed from laughing so hard. Xander was thinking that his life always seemed so crazy, but that it wasn't often that he got the chance to really take a glimpse at himself and realize how abnormal his life truly was. God, he missed Sunnydale and its boring old regular apocalypse season and set routine of nightly patrol routes.

Shaking his head to clear the memories of his former home, Xander turned towards the Jägers.

"Here, hold this for a second while I grab the duct tape." Xander stated as he walked back over to the red Jäger and handed over the flaming potion and the dismembered arm.

Digging into one of his ever present pockets of goodies, Xander pulled out a large roll of duct tape; totally ignoring the fact that he'd pulled a roll of duct tape out of a pocket on his jeans that was too small to contain said roll of duct tape.

Xander then proceeded to duct tape the dismembered arm of the Jäger back to the shoulder.

"Dat's gunna schmot ven he rips dat uff." The purple Jäger stated to the blue one while nodding towards the duct tape Xander was using on the hairy arm and shoulder of the red Jäger.

The blue Jäger nodded fiercely in agreement; no male of any species enjoys having their body hair ripped out by duct tape.

"Ok, so drink the potion and you should be good in about five minutes." Xander stated as he stepped back from the red Jäger.

It was a good thing that Xander did step back, for no sooner had the red Jäger swallowed the whole flaming potion in one gulp then the red Jäger's eyes had watered and a mass of flames were belched out of his mouth to singe the eyebrows of the cream colored Jäger standing a good two feet away.

"Yum, schpicy." The red Jäger stated as he smacked his lips and began to test the mobility of his already moving reattached arm.

Xander smiled at the Jägers, they were fun to be around, if not a bit crazy.

"So Boyz, where did you get the hat from?" Xander asked casually by way of continuing the earlier conversation.

"Ve got it in de severs uf Gotham." The red Jäger answered proudly.

A cold trickle of dread slowly started to spread down Xander's neck.

"Yeah, dere vere dis guy fightink vith dis large krocidile, und ve decided to help out und get hyu a Beeg Hat." The purple Jäger added with a smile.

Xander cringed as he slowly removed the hat from his head, he had a pretty good idea what was sitting on his head, but he knew he had to ask to be sure.

"Um guys, did either of these two figures happen to mention their names?" Xander asked, hoping and praying that he was wrong.

"Vell de vun dressed in black und vearink de kape kalled de krocodile kroc before ve killed de krocodile und made dis great pie." The cream colored Jäger stated.

"De guy in de black kape vasn't very friendly, but he deed giff us de schpices for de pie und dis nize toothpick." The purple one added, picking his teeth with what Xander knew was a batarang.

Xander palmed his forehead. _'Yep, __I __was __right, __they __made __a __hat __out __of __Killer __Croc.'_ Xander thought. Sighing to himself, he rubbed his hands on his face while he quickly thought about how he felt about the Jäger's killing the croc and 'processing' him.

'_Well, __Croc __was __more __animal __than __human __after __all. __Heck __I __would __have __probably __killed __Croc __for __being __a __murderer __anyway.'_ Xander rationalized to himself as he started pacing back and forth across his lab; the Jägers were all busy enjoying the pie by this time.

Xander stopped his pacing and turned to the Jägers as a thought struck him. "Um guys, please tell me you didn't kill Batman, the guy in black?"

"No boss, ve chust gaff him de same lesson hyu gaff us, don' vare kapes. Ve chust tied him up in his kape und left him dere." The blue Jägers stated proudly before reaching for another slice of pie.

Xander just started pacing faster. _'They __freaking __tied __Batman __up __in __his __cape; __never __saw __a __villain __do __that __one __before. __Not __that __the __guy __knows __I __was __behind __the __prank __and __the __break __in, __but __if __he __ever __figures __out __who __I __am, __I'm __in __a __world __of __trouble.'_ Xander thought furiously, his thoughts flying through possible plans of dealing with the current situation. Eventually, he came to a simple conclusion and stopped pacing to face the Jägers.

"Ok guys, new rule. No minions, robots, or Jägerkin are to have any contact with Batman, and all Jägerkin must stay out of Gotham City unless I say so. Understand?" Xander stated with a serious look on his face.

The Jägers all stopped their eating and looked up at him. They understood a command when it was given, and this was a command. They didn't really understand why Der Boss was making the command, but then they didn't believe they needed to know why. The Jägerkin thinking was, "_Our __duty __hain't __to __ask __vy, __our __duty __iz __to __fight __und __flirtz __vit __de __goilz_."

In reply the Jägers all gave a "Yez Boss," and a salute; the Jäger holding the pie dropped it on the floor so that he could salute properly.

Just as Xander was about to give more instructions, Igor rushed into the room.

"Sir, We have a problem." Igor stated, clearly a bit agitated.

Xander palmed his face again as he thought, _'What __a __day!'_

"What is it now, Igor?" Xander replied, turning to focus on Igor.

"It's the coffee shop in Gotham sir." Igor explained.

Xander cringed, it had to be Gotham. _'Some __days __it __just __doesn't __do __to __get __out __of __bed, __especially __when __you __float __out __of __said __bed __and __end __up __above __it __by __15,000 __feet.'_ Xander thought.

"What's wrong with the new coffee shop in Gotham, Igor? Are we out of coffee? Did we get robbed or something?" Xander questioned.

"No sir, the minions assigned to the Gotham location were all killed, and then they got up and left the shop." Igor answered.

Xander's brain hiccupped at that statement, and he played it over in his head again, and the results of the replay made him angry.

"What do you mean that the employees were all killed, and then got up and left?" Xander growled, anger beginning to cloud his features as Xander quickly marched out of the room towards the security center that he had his minions install at the transportation center. The idea was that though physical security measures would draw too much attention to the coffee shops, visual surveillance of the facilities would enable Xander to rush forces to any location that came under attack.

"Just that sir, several human looking beings rushed into the store right before closing time and were able to attack and apparently kill the workers and customers." Igor filled Xander in as they continued through the Chateau and out the front doors, the Jägers immediately formed up silent guard positions in a square around Xander.

"Why do you say human looking, and how many did we kill with the hold out weapons that I supplied my stores?" Xander questioned, the anger and frustration of the day was building to a peak, and Xander was furious that somebody had attacked people that Xander had the responsibility to care for.

"None of the attackers were killed sir. One barista and a busboy were able to pull the pistols you had supplied and shot to kill. Chest shots were made as the film shows the bullets exiting the backs of the beings while causing significant tissue damage; yet the wounds did not kill the beings. In fact they didn't bleed at all when shot but seemed to bare fangs and attack with inhuman speed." Igor stated as they entered the transit center and proceeded towards the security station. The minions that they passed could see that Xander was angry, and a sudden electric feeling started to build in the air as anticipation started to build in the populace of New Mechanicsburg.

Xander did not like the news that Igor was giving him. There was only one thing that Xander knew of that could take a bullet to the chest like that and still shrug it off with a smile as it spilled the blood of its victim. Added to the fact that then said victim willingly followed their attacker out the door after getting killed pretty much cinched the deal in his mind.

Igor led Xander through the cavernous security room built under the transit center; minions were sitting at thousands of monitors that showed split screen views of all of Xander's properties and stores.

"Show me the attack." Xander commanded, and the main 20 foot by 40 foot screen in the room changed from a map of the world to a replay of the security screens from the Gotham coffee shop.

The screens cleared to show the workers tidying up the store and helping the last minute customers receive their orders. Then four figures, three indistinct men and a woman dressed in what looked like a secretary's tight business skirt and heels walked in, the main feature of said foursome was that their skin was bleach white. Then the action started as the woman grabbed a man who attempted to hold the door open for her as he exited. Just like that, the girl extended fangs and proceeded to slice out the man's throat.

Screams poured out of the speakers for a second before Xander yelled angrily for the sound to be cut.

The viewers then watched passively but with anger growing on their features as they watched the barista and the bus boy pull forty caliber semi-automatic glocks and open fire on the girl. Said 'girl' took two shots to the chest, knocking her off of the man who was clearly dead as his unseeing eyes stared openly up at the camera as the rest of the action continued. Unfortunately, the girl got back up and two of the three men went for the busboy and the barista who continued to shoot at the attackers, clearly showing hits as desiccated guts and gore punched out of exit wounds in the backs of the assailants. The cameras continued to film as the attackers killed all of the people in the coffee shop, stopping to dig their fangs into the throats of the struggling humans and spreading blood liberally around the room before walking calmly out of the store. A minute later the corpses twitched and seem to rise from the ground as if they were picked up by the strings of a marionette, then they too walk out the door to no doubt spread their misery.

"Fucking Vampires! I hate mother fucking Vampires! Fuck fuck fuck!" Xander yelled punching his fist through a consol that lit up in sparks and caught on fire; a minion quickly shot it with an extinguisher.

Xander started pacing, talking to himself as the minions made a space large enough for him to continue moving without being impeded; the Jägers stood at the corners of his path and faced out as if looking for threats that could attack Xander.

"I don't know which world this is damn it! Is this the world of the cartoon movie Batman v. Dracula where Batman is able to dust Dracula and change all of the vampires back to humans, or is this one of those where even Batman gets bitten and turned into a Vampire?" Xander said angrily to himself as he turned and paced back the opposite direction he had just traveled.

"Damn it, this could even be the beginning of that alternate earth where everybody is turned into Vampires. Dare I chance Batman being able to handle it himself?" Xander questioned to himself, as he turned and again focused on the screen in the center of the control center, the screen was in the middle of replaying the scene where the woman tore out the throat of the man who had politely tried to open the door for her on his way out of the coffee shop.

Xander stared at the screen and got more and more angry as he watched it. In his mind the figures of the victims took on the faces of his friends, and when he saw the busboy who looked so much like Jesse get his throat ripped out, that did it.

"Fuck Batman! I'm going to kill them all! Every last Mother Fucking Vampire I can get my hands on." Xander yelled in fury, shaking his fist at the screen before turning to face the stunned minions and Jägers who had never seen this dark side of him.

Xander's eyes clearly showed an inner darkness and promised of pain and death as he turned towards Igor and the town's folk who had pledged themselves to him.

"We're going to war boys and girls. Boyz, I'm rescinding my previous order, We are heading back to Gotham." Xander stated with an evil smile as a shadow seemed to cover his features, almost visibly twisting his features with his cold fury.

A dark light began to shine in the eyes of the witnessing towns folk and Jägerkin as their replying smiles took on an evil hue, responding to Xander madness tinged look.

"Blood for blood, body for body people. We are going to finish the job of The Black Heterodyne should have done once and for all." Xander yelled, his voice rising to a pitch, and then he started issuing orders.

"Igor, recall all of Da Boyz and get a work crew building robot 32D from my war chest and mass producing armor set Mark VIII for Da Boyz." Xander stated to Igor before turning to the Jägerkin. "Break out the Toastmaster 2000's Boyz, it's time to Bar-B-Q us some Vampires." Xander commanded.

With that, the lights of the command center went to red and people started purposefully running around while outside air-raid sirens started sounding and townsfolk started running towards stations and jobs that they were pre-assigned in just such a situation.

Xander double timed it out of the command center and headed back towards the chateau, all the while issuing orders to Dora and Tara who had formed up behind him while he was talking. Dora and Tara were relaying Xander's messages through communicators and acted as a portable communications network for him while at the same time one Jäger took off sprinting towards the new Jäger barracks and the other towards the armory which was situated under the town's post office; the remaining two planted themselves as bodyguards at Xander's sides.

As Xander marched along he pointed to minions who were running by and ordered that the strongest burliest men of the town to meet him in the forging laboratories to work on the armor.

The people of New Mechanicsburg were humming with activity and the old timers peppered their work with retellings of past invasions of rival cities and the wars that The Black Heterodyne had led them in.

Two thousand miles away in the State of New York, the City of Gotham was already under siege and didn't even know it. Neither the Dark Knight nor the citizens of Gotham knew it, but the city would play witness to a clashing of two of the most fearsome military forces to walk the world; one populated by the empowered undead and led by the self proclaimed 'First Vampire' Dracula, the other filled with monstrous and mechanical constructs led by a mad genius White Knight.

"Not a White Knight," Xander said to himself as he took out the drawings for his armor and spread them across the work table in the forging room deep under the chateau. The drawings showed an 8 foot tall hulking figure of metal with a skull like mechanized mask and skull and scarab motif for designs on the knees and chest.

Xander pressed a button on his desk and over a ton of the dark grey colored Nth Metal was dumped into the smelter.

"Definitely not a White Knight any longer, now I'll be the Grey Knight."


	13. Chapter 13: The Grey Knight

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, girl genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smattering of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes.

**AN: Time for a chapter on 'Xander versus the Vampires'; sounds like the title for a B grade movie that I would actually pay money for. Hope you enjoy it.**

**AN: Special thanks go out to my new Beta for this story, Rylia.**

* * *

'_Thought'_

"Speech"

**Chapter 13: The Grey Knight**

"Knowledge is power, guard it well." ~Warhammer 40k, Dawn of War

The sun was setting on the mountain peaks that surrounded the scenic valley housing New Mechanicsburg. Around the peaks, the land was silent and peaceful, only the sounds of the wind whipping through the rocks or the chirp of a random marmot could be heard. Down in the valley however, the scene and the sounds were anything but tranquil.

Though the sirens had been silenced earlier that morning, the air was rent with the sounds screeching metal and the earth shook with the pounding of giant hydraulic presses and the thudding of heavy metal shod feet marching on stone or blasting holes in the earth.

The forging and smelting fires had burned hot all day, increasing the ambient heat level of the city due to a cap of cold air that rested over it at the levels of the peaks. Also adding to the heat was the once former orchard that had been on the side of the town. Where once there was a budding green series of rolling hills and rows of fruit and nut trees now lay a smoking and scorched muddy plain, filled with craters and the smoking remnants of what appeared to be a war.

'_We could have used that fruit and nuts for the coffee shops, but Da Boyz did need a place__ to get used to their armor and new weapons.'_ Xander thought to himself as he stared out of the top windows of his chateau, looking out over his valley and the hustle and bustle that was going on below him.

"Sir, the armor and weapons have been distributed as per your orders, as well as the specialized arsenal." Igor informed Xander while reading information off of a consol. Every so often another minion would enter the large office that sat at the top of the chateau. Silently they would march in, hand Igor a note, bow to Xander, and then leave.

"What about the creation of robot 32D? How many have we completed?" Xander questioned, turning his gaze from the view of the town and returning to sit behind his desk while flipping on the TV.

Igor tapped out a sequence of commands on his consol, before replying to Xander. "Unit twenty is just rolling off of the activation line as we speak. Shall I have them continue and build more, Sir?" Igor questioned, looking up at Xander for direction.

Xander flipped through channels on the TV until he got to the news station for Gotham City.

"This is Paul Sanders, reporter for Gotham KL42: your up to the minute news on Gotham. Today's main story is about the increasing number of disappearances or what has been dubbed 'The Lost Ones.' Sources inside Gotham PD, who were unwilling to give their name, have informed us that the total number of known disappearances has passed the four hundred mark and is still climbing. As the number of disappearing citizens increases, the police have requested that anyone with information or who witnessed one of these individuals disappear should please contact Commissioner Gordon's office as a call center has been set up. Additionally, sightings of the Dark Knight, aka Batman, have been made near that time of the disappearances. Anyone who sees Batman should immediately call Gotham City PD as he has been dubbed highly dangerous and a person of interest in the disappearances of multiple…"

Xander clicked the off button to the TV as he had heard enough.

"No, Igor. We don't have time to make more of them; the Vampires are spreading too quickly. Activate all forces and have the 32D's already produced ready with Da Boyz and have the force armored and armed and ready to go in one hour. We attack tonight." Xander stated and got up to walk out of the room.

"Yes sir, and your armor?" Igor asked with a bow.

Xander turned to look at Igor, then out the window again as the shadows of the mountains started to paint the fringes of the town black.

"Have my armor ready for me at the barracks. I'll change with Da Boyz and then address the town in front of the transit center." Xander replied, his constitution turning all business as he walked out of room to go get ready.

* * *

The hiss of pneumatic seals and the clanking of locking mechanisms joined the slight hum that clicked on as the power armor on Xander's torso finished closing and sealing him in like some giant juggernaut of old. Looking at himself in the mirror, Xander thought that perhaps an analogy to a turtle and its shell, or a dragon and its armored scales would be appropriate, but frankly, he looked too deadly to be compared to such simple animals.

His reflection showed him in grey matte colored armor that appeared to absorb the light, making it resemble ebony black in the Barrack's light rather than the true grey that it was when out in clear sunlight. Xander had liberally stolen the design for his and Da Boyz armor from the Warhammer 40k universe, but whereas Da Boyz were equipped with upgraded models of the Space Marines' armor, the Mark VIII, Xander's armor, was something special.

Made of a mixed alloy of Nth Metal and metallo (an alloy developed by Lexcorp and stolen by Xander due to his knowledge from comic books and liberal use of hacking clanks in Lexcorp Towers) the armor was nearly indestructible and seemed to swallow the light that shone down on him from the barrack's lights. Unpainted dark grey bulky pauldrons and solid torso armor were joined together and covered over the joints to the armor of the arms and attached to his power armor enhanced grieves. The chest was emblazoned with a skull with a small trilobite on its forehead, and the knee-plates and shoulder pauldrons looked as if blackened skulls had been embedded in them. The helmet that sat on the table beside him looked to be a sculpted skull of the same matte grey color. It wasn't classy, it wasn't for decoration, and the whole suit was designed to inspire fear and an inevitable sense of doom in his enemies while keeping Xander's identity secure. It was armor made for one reason, to obliterate Xander's enemies, and based on the origin of its design, it would do so very well indeed. Coming from a fantasy universe that was in a constant state of war, where entire planets were turned to glass from orbital bombardment, where the death toll of war was in the trillions and one battle only led to the next, the model for this armor was used by the most feared human fighting force in existence, the Grey Knights chapter of the Space Marines.

As with so many of the geeky memories from his youth, Xander and his friends Jesse and Jonathan had been into fantasy roll-playing and table top games in addition to the comic books and science fiction that they all enjoyed. One of the games that they played and teased each other about was Warhammer 40k, a game that took place in a universe that was in a perpetual state of war. Whereas Jesse had liked the Orc forces and Jonathan the sleeker Elder/Elvin race, Xander had been interested in the forces of the Imperium of Man. The boys had all argued amongst themselves about which force was the best, but the one thing they all agreed on was that they disliked the forces of Chaos, those that were controlled by Demons from a dimensional middle ground called 'The Warp.' Therefore it wasn't too far of a stretch for Xander to find his favorite characters in the Imperial forces to be the Demon hunters, the Grey Knights, the most elite and loyal force of the space marines, who wielded the best technology and mightiest super powers of any unit of the space marines. The Grey Knights were the 'Slayers' of the Warhammer 40k universe, and after Jesse's death and Xander's meeting Buffy, Xander had often thought about and tried to model himself after the Knights' diligence in their quest to destroy the demons who threatened to destroy everything.

Xander thought that it was all the more fitting that he was garbed in the armor of the Grey Knights seeing as he too was a super powered demon hunter who walked the dimensions, so to speak.

'_Well__, it's time to get this show on the road.' _Xander thought to himself as he looked at the reflection of his eight foot armored hulk. Mentally pumping himself up for what he was about to do, Xander questioned what would Buffy do in a situation like this.

"See demon, slay demon." Xander stated under his breath and chuckled to himself while cracking a smile for the first time that day as he remembered his gorgeous perky friend. Buffy was a great Slayer; a strategist and leader she was not.

Xander continued to think about his friend as he picked up his helmet, glaive, and Toastmaster 2000.

"It's going to take more than 'pointy end goes into Vampire' this time Buff." Xander continued to mumble under his breath as he clicked his Toastmaster into clamp holes on the left forearm of his armor and heard the electromagnets and gun hum as it connected to the power and targeting system of the armor.

The helmet Xander attached to a belt wrapped around the outside of his armored waist, and then rested the glaive on his shoulder as he turned to walk out of the barracks.

"No, this isn't the time for Buffy to lead, not with the possibility of five hundred vampires plus Dracula. No, this is going to take strategy and cooperation; not one person running forward into a fight." Xander spoke to the air as his heavy boot falls seemed to reverberate through the entire barracks, "No, this is my fight, and come hell or high water, I've got to go stop this here before it spreads any further." Xander continued before stopping before the door and taking a big breath of air to prepare himself for what came next.

A few seconds passed as Xander calmed his rapidly beating heart, and then he looked up and put on his 'determined face' as Willow would call it.

Pushing open the door of the Barracks, Xander was met with a wash of sound, as the crowd before him cheered, and two double lines of black clad fully garbed 'space marines' came to attention and saluted. The sound of forty Jägers pounding their clenched fist against their chest in a salute boomed across the town square and was clearly heard over the cheering townsfolk.

Xander silently looked over his Jägerkin and the citizens behind them. The forty power armored Jägers had their armor painted black, and white skulls had been painted on their shoulders, knees, and across their helmets, whereas a large golden trilobite was embossed into the chest pieces of their armor. Their free hands held an assortment of weapons, some Toastmasters, others with weapons with gun barrels big enough to fit a child's head inside. However the most daunting feature was probably the bright red glowing optical sensors that shone like eighty crimson eyes from within the helmets of Xander's troops.

Xander looked out over his troops, and smiled an evil smile. They were going to kick so much ass.

Raising his visage above his metal clad Jägers, Xander raised his glaive filled hand towards the still cheering crowd who all seemed to be wearing matching blood hungry smiles on their faces.

At the raising of the glaive, Xander's people quieted, and the Jägers stopped their salutes and stood at ease.

Xander spoke in a quiet voice, but it seemed to carry to the very back of the crowd of gathered townsfolk.

"I've never been much of a hero, but I've been fighting a war against the demons and vampires for years now, ever since they took away my brother in everything but blood." Xander started as he panned his eyes over the silently staring crowd.

"When I came to this dimension, I believed my part in that war was over, but a little more than twenty hours ago, those demons declared war on us again." Xander continued, as a snarl started to grow on his lips and a dark light began to shine from his eyes.

"This time they've taken away our friends, our family members, your fellow minions and people who I pledged to protect and lead. Well, we will NOT allow this to go unanswered!" Xander yelled the last part, shaking his glaive and armored fist at the sky.

"God damn it, we didn't start this. The Black Heterodyne made a mistake a long time ago, and now we are going to have to deal with it! We are going to finish this once and for all!" Xander yelled, anger and madness coming through his voice and noticeably mirrored in the faces of the townsfolk.

"Wherever those vampires are, we will kill them! Where ever they try to run, we will track them down and destroy them! Wherever they try to hide, we will crush them! We will burn their bodies and then we will send their ashes back to hell where they belong! We are Death! We are Destruction! You are my almighty hand of vengeance, and together we will finish off the vampires once and for all!" Xander screamed.

The crowd screamed out in reply, joining their own rage with Xander's as the Jägers pounded their armored feet on the ground and their metal covered fists against their armored chests, shaking the surroundings as Xander whipped them into a killing frenzy.

Xander let the eardrum shattering sound go on for almost a full minute before issuing with his glaive and free hand to talk, and the entire audience instantly quieted as they stared in maniacal devotion at Xander.

"You all know your jobs. I expect you to do them while I am away just as if I was here with you. Each of you has a part to play in this war, whether soldier or support, and I know I can trust you to work your hardest. I promise you I will avenge those that were lost to us." Xander's voice was once again quiet, but the smoldering anger was still present as his face was shadowed with evil intent.

With that, Xander placed his helmet on his head, and felt it seal itself into place as his view screen came online and all sorts of troop positions, tactical and health data deployed on his visual interfaces.

* * *

"Good morning sir, all systems are optimal and ready for use. I am linking with the nanoclanks in your system and your thought commanded interface is online and fully operational. You should know that your body is 78 percent optimized and the full nanoclank capabilities should be available in approximately two hours and twelve minutes." A proper male British sounding voice said in Xander's ear as the AI in the helmet came online.

"Thank you Jarvis. Please run a com check on all of the troops and ascertain that we are all ready to go." Xander commanded as he mentally flicked through drop down menus and plotted transit endpoint locations throughout Gotham via his connection to the Transit Center security and command system.

"All systems are a go Sir, and all forces are reporting ready for deployment. The transit center is querying whether it should open the portals for the 32D's to precede us to the target city?" Jarvis's voice responded.

"Yes Jarvis," Xander stated calmly as his brain multitasked at incredible speeds. "Please send fifteen of the 32s through to the coordinates that I am uploading to the Transit Center now." Xander completed.

In the transit center warehouse, fifteen black bodied robots with multiple eyes and tentacle like arms came to life and floated up off of the ground like fifteen foot long floating metal octopuses. Banks of red optical sensors glowed as the robots, series 32D, came online and orientated themselves towards fifteen individual transit openings that rippled and then flashed blue as gateways were opened in the air all over Gotham City. The hunter killer robots, or 'squidies' as they were affectionately called in the Matrix movies, were on the move, yet without the self awareness or capability of hunting down all humans hardwired into them. These were Vampire and Demon hunters, not human killers, not unless Xander specifically requested them to.

The hunter killer robot's first priority was to track down the nest of Vampires and secondarily to track down and dismember any vampiric stragglers in the city, floated through the portals of the transit center and into Gotham city.

"External sound delivery system on please Jarvis." Xander stated, and a brief pop and fizz sounded as plates on his suit were magnetized to vibrate with his voice, somewhat turning Xander's armor into a giant speaker.

Xander's red glowing optical lenses and skeletal helmet focused on the people still in the square.

"We are a go people. Report to your duty stations please, Boyz, let's head over to the Transit Station and do a final check in." Xander stated, smiling, as his people immediately began to do what he asked while the Jägers started marching towards the jump off location.

Xander had his system hook into the communications network that the Jägers were talking on.

"Hy vonder vat Vampire tastes like?" Xander heard the voice of one Jäger ask.

" Hyu don' vant to eat dat. Blah! Dey are hall dry und schtrinky like tryink to eat kardboard." Another Jäger answered, making a sound of disgust at the idea of eating a vampire.

" Hey, zume uf my best soup recipez kall for kardboard!" Another was heard to defend cardboard as a soup ingredient.

"Nobody is going to be eating any Vampires, and all helmets are to be kept on at all times until the operation is over. If you are hungry or thirsty, just ask the suit to provide it to you and bite onto the hose it provides. It may be a liquid lunch, but it will satisfy for the time being." Xander cut into the conversation and saw several of the fully armored Jägers turn to look over at his silver armored caprice as it marched towards the Transit Center with them.

A few seconds passed, and then one of the Jägers chimed in on the comm. System, "Yumz, mine tastez like bratvurst!"

A second Jäger voice chimed in, "Und mine tastes like real bacon."

A cacophony of voices were then heard to add the flavor of 'food' that their suit provided, somewhere in the mix Xander swore he heard, "Und my schnozberries really tastez like schnozberries!"

Xander merely chuckled as he asked Jarvis to provide him some food.

A small straw extended out from below Xander's chin and snaked its way towards his mouth. As he bit it, fluid flooded his mouth until he stopped depressing the nozzle with his teeth.

Xander smiled to himself, "Yum, pureed Twinkie with nutrients. Not as good as the normal cakey goodness, but will have to do for now." Finished taking a large enough taste to satiate his appetite for now, the tube snaked away and Xander gave the Jägers a minute to get the talking out of their systems.

Entering the Transit Center deployment warehouse, Xander saw the mechanized portal doorways lining the walls. The mechanical arms of the transport technology could move, either stretching a single portal's surface so that it was large enough for a truck or a tank to go through, or shrinking down so that a small doorway only large enough for a little clank was present. The system had adapted over the last few weeks as problems arose and the technology changed to solve new situations. One of those fixes had entailed the mechanical wall portals being able to extend out from the wall and pivot on robotic arms which enabled them to take a portal and move it over a stack of crates, then move downwards to envelope the shipping crates and send them on to their end destination. The original problem of having to return to the Transit Center before going on to a secondary location was also solved by the addition of the mechanical arms, as two equal sized portals could now mesh together, creating an exit point into the transit center that immediately sent the traveling contents into the second portal and on to its end destination. That isn't to say that the process was perfect, far from it in fact as mistakes with the transportation system had the high probability of being fatal. In the corner of the warehouse were great pillars and artificial boxes of metal that were neatly shorn in half at different angles; the results of a portal opening or closing while an object was in its field and left by Xander as a reminder to his people to take the transit technology seriously.

That thought led Xander to butting in on the continued discussion of the best flavor of food by the Jägers. "Ok Boyz, Show time. Let's keep the chatter down to the necessary. Everybody check your melee weaponry, and no scratching your crotches while they are on." Xander finished the last part with a joke and a smirk that went unseen by the gathered Jägers and technicians who manned this portion of the transit center.

Xander flicked his thumb on a sliding lever on the haft of his glaive, and the blade along the top of the glaive popped and flashed as a blue energy the same glow as the portals seemed to hum and vibrate along its already sharp edge. This was the visual and auditory effect of the weaponized version of the portal technology, rapidly opening and closing a portal along the edge of the blade thousands of times per second and turning it into a cutting tool that could potentially even cut through Xander's supposedly impervious armor.

The chatter on the Jägers' communications channel cut out, as the black armored figures all raised and looked at their free left hands. Razor sharp claws folded out of the tips of the gloves in a sort of telescoping feature that ended with a snick sound as they locked in place; then the claws popped and hummed an ominous blue color as the portal blades appeared along their edges as well. The Jägers then turned off the power to their bladed left hands, switched their weapons to the now free left hand, and activated the power and claws on their right hand.

Xander asked for the Jägers to speak up if their system wasn't working, and when nobody answered Xander turned his attention to the large screen that was projected onto the slanted inside of the roof of the transit warehouse.

Images from the 'squidies' were being piped through tight beam laser and satellite upload to Starscream who was keeping a powered geosynchronous orbit over Gotham at an altitude right above the stratosphere. The black nightmarish hunter killers swarmed in and out of the metal supports of the Gotham rail system and through dark alleys, hunting with their parabolic ears and sensors for any signs of a vampire feeding or traveling through the streets. Taking a page from the Scooby's playbook and good old Sunnydale patrol route common sense, Xander had several of the squidies searching the Gotham cemeteries.

"Bingo!" Xander shouted as one of the segregated displays showing a squidy's upload started flashing with a red border signifying a probable hit on vampire activity. Sure enough, it was the Gotham Cemetery and darting into a crypt was the female vampire who had been a part of the attack on the Gotham Sparkbucks coffee shop.

"Pan back so that we can get an idea of the surrounds." Xander commanded, and the camera zoomed out to show the cemetery in its entirety, including several more vampires; Xander assumed they were fledglings as this dimension wasn't known for many master vampires besides Dracula and The Monk.

"This is our target people." Xander announced on his external speakers. "Launch squidy units 16 through 20 to run top watch and commence ground penetrating radar mapping as soon as they clear the portal above the cemetery. I want full containment on this cemetery; we don't want any of these blood suckers escaping when we bring the slayage. Somebody get the plot mapping and city designs for the cemetery uploaded to our HUDs immediately." Xander continued to command as his brain's synapses started to fire and warm up. Experiences and memories, uploaded from that Halloween night, of past Heterodynes and their military campaigns began to flood and filter through Xander's brain as his eyes took in the tactical situation and processed it, coming up with plans and contingencies.

The warehouse buzzed with activity as the remaining unit 32D's all floated into the air and then through portals, appearing above the cemetery at a mix of 1000 to 5000 feet, and began to map out the situation and add their sensors and radar to the information streaming to Xander.

Xander watched the situation in cemetery, trying to figure out the right time to move in, but that time was decided for him.

"Sir, it appears that the fledglings are all moving towards the mausoleum that the female vampire fled into, vampires are also trickling into the cemetery grounds from the city. Additionally, sir, it appears that Batman has arrived at the gates of the cemetery and is proceeding towards our target." The voice of Jarvis informed Xander.

"That's our cue people. Squidies, subdue a few of the vampires entering the cemetery, units 15 and 16 move in on Batman but don't interfere unless I order or he attacks us." Xander ordered.

Ten portals around the room flashed to life and squads of four Jägerkin ran through the portals, weapon muzzles pointed forward and ready for use. On the screen in front of Xander, the blue snap and twist of portals blinking into life could be seen opening in spaces around the target crypt in a circular pattern. Xander followed through the portal that led right in front of the crypt's still open doors.

Xander's arrival initiated the beginning of combat, for as soon as he stepped through the portal, the blue doorways throughout the cemetery snapped shut and Xander turned his metal clad skeletonal visage towards the crypt and pointed at it.

At his unspoken command, a Jäger from the squad closest to Xander raised a Boom-Stick and fired it at the crypt; the by now familiar firing sound and sizzling balls of blue energy zipped towards the crypt, followed by an intense Boom and the resulting disappearance of the crypt.

Where the crypt stood was now a circular hole in the ground that showed the natural formation of a tunnel and cave system that had been hidden by the mausoleum. The Jäger with the Boom-Stick secured his weapon to his back and pulled down the Toastmaster 2000 that was on his shoulder while moving to provide cover over the new hole. The other Jäger squads moved forwards, creating an ever shrinking ring of firepower around the entrance to the undergrounds of Gotham city.

"Grenadiers, fire." Xander ordered, and two of the other Jägers from the squad standing beside Xander fired off what looked to be cannons but were in fact grenade launchers that fired canisters as large as paint-cans.

The grenade launchers made a deep pair of 'Bloop' sounds as the canisters whizzed past Xander and flew down the cavern hole, a second later a mist of greenish white gas could be seen to slowly fill the entrance and slowly waft into the nights air, the majority of the canisters' gas filtering down into the caverns below as the garlic gas was heavier than air.

Squads started to rush towards the cavern entrance, only to stop when a dark bat-shaped throwing star zinged through the air right at Xander, only to explode against the chest of an observant Jäger who threw himself into its path.

Several things happened all at the same time. Time slowed down to Xander and he caught the flying armored body of the Jäger who had been blasted through the air by the explosive batarang, while at the same time Xander's auditory sensors picked up the sounds of a scuffle and a grunt of pain in the darkness behind a massive cross shaped gravestone.

"Tankz for catjing me Boss." The Jäger in Xander's arms stated on its external speaker system.

"No, thank you." Xander stated over the comm. system as he helped the Jäger onto his feet and pushed the Jäger's armored frame towards the hole; though the paint on the Jäger's armor had been scuffed a bit, the armor itself wasn't even scratched.

"Jarvis, have the units bring the Batman here as well as any vampire stragglers that were trying to join the party." Xander ordered his system.

"Very well sir. Units 7, 9, and 12 are all on their way to your position with vampires and 15 and 16 are reporting in with the Batman, though he has lived up to his reputation and unit 16 is missing several limbs." Jarvis reported.

That said, the five squidy units silently floated down to Xander's position with their struggling cargo.

"Jarvis, turn auditory voice overlay on please." Xander commanded as his heavy metal boots made thudding sounds as he purposefully crushed the cobblestones of the cemetery with each step he took towards units 15 and 16 and their Batman shaped cargo.

Batman was tied up tighter than a Christmas goose who had wandered into a Boy Scout knot tying demonstration, the sheer number of loops of tentacles around his body kept the Dark Knight in a spread eagle position that he couldn't hope to escape from through physical force.

From Batman's perspective, he was being held captive by a truly fearsome looking skeletal armored being and his horde of heavily armed troops and robots, as usual this wasn't a good situation to be in, but he had gotten out of stickier; or so Batman thought.

"Greetings Dark Knight." The voice of James Earl Jones stated, sounding like Darth Vader from the Star Wars movies. "Normally I'd love to stay and chat with you, but I don't have time to deal with you tonight." Xander stated, his speaker system giving his voice a nice sinister edge that matched his glowing red optical sensors and skeletal helmet.

"If you'll excuse me." Xander stated. With that, Xander depressed the lever on his glaive and quickly behead a male vampire that one of the other squidies had wrapped up in its tentacles, the vampire crumbled to dust.

"No!" Batman shouted and started to struggle. Somehow Batman was able to trigger an electrical discharge on his suit, briefly causing the tentacles around him to light up with discharged electricity.

Unfortunately for him, the electricity had no effect on the squidies.

"You don't think I'd let a little thing like EMP or electrical discharge knock my robots off line, do you?" Xander's deep voice semi-mocked Batman. Xander mentally ordered one of the squids to slice through Batman's utility belt and throw it to the ground.

Xander moved his glaive to the hand that had the Toastmaster attached to it, and then claws formed out of the fingers of his armored fist, claws that hummed with power. Xander then turned his attention away from Batman to a second struggling vampire who wore the clothes of a night security guard.

Quick as a wink, Xander sank his clawed fist into the male vampire's chest, and pulled out the vampire's heart; both the heart in his hand and the vampire in the squidies grasp dusted.

"See, no blood Batman. No beating heart. I have come here for a job, to exterminate these blood suckers once and for all." Xander stated facing Batman while letting the dust fall from his hand to the ground below him.

"No! You can't do this, not in my city." Batman growled, "Stop killing them, I can save them!

"No you can't, there is no salvation for the damned." Xander bluntly replied.

"Just who are you to judge, to decide the future of these people!" Batman yelled at Xander, continuing to futilely struggle against the mechanical tentacles around him.

"Future?" Xander's deep voice angrily questioned. "These people have no future, they are dead!" Xander punctuated his point by raising the arm with the Toastmaster on it, there was a slight 'click' and then a 'fwoosh' sound as a large fireball shot from the barrel of his gun and disintegrated the head of the third vampire.

"Let's talk about the future Mr. Bruce Wayne, he who lives in the past and is haunted by the death of his parents." Xander spat back at Batman, the statement and brutality of Xander's actions stunning Batman speechless.

"I have seen your future Bruce Wayne, and I know the results of tonight if I let you fight this battle your way. In one future, the prettiest future, you win; you save the people and the girl and destroy Dracula in the depths of the caverns after you and Alfred get the shit kicked out of you. That's the best case scenario." Xander continued. "In other futures you lose and become a vampire yourself, ending up killing more villains and people in this city than the Joker ever did, and that's not even the worst future. The worst future is that you fail, and the scourge of vampires that started in your city spreads to the whole world, and in a year there are nothing left but vampires; not the Justice League, not the civilians, not the villains, they will all be joined in a world of never-ending night, wandering the world eternally as animated dead." Xander spat at Bruce Wayne, who no longer struggled against the bonds of the squidies.

"Who are you to make the decision? You said so yourself, I can save them." Batman's gravelly voice questioned.

"I am the Grey Knight, I have hunted these demons since I was a child, and I walked the dimensions to continue my quest to destroy them, and you will not stop me." Xander stated, perhaps being a little melodramatic. "I don't have time to talk to you; I've got a job to do." Xander stated and turned away to walk towards the hole in the ground, the Jägers forming up around him.

Behind him, Batman struggled and was about to yell out again when one of the squidies popped a needle out of its arm and stuck it deep into Batman's neck where his cowl had an opening. The Dark Knight's last conscious sight was of the Grey Knight and forty black armored figures disappearing into the smoke clouded opening of the caverns beneath Gotham.

* * *

Xander noticed that the natural tunnel of stone was surprisingly wide as they proceeded deeper into the caverns under Gotham. The breathing systems on Xander's and his Jägers' armor filtered out any scent of the garlic infused smoke that they were using to plug the entrance, and Xander had been surprised to see on the ground penetrating radar that this was the only opening to this section of tunnels and caves. Only a few vampires had been caught by the garlic smoke, but the results were rather disgusting as blind vampires scuttled along disoriented in the smoke after having their nostrils, skin and eyeballs burnt out by the garlic saturating the air. The Jägers walking beside Xander were quick to put the debilitated vampires out of their misery through the liberal use of power claws.

As the tunnel started to open into what Xander's map said was a large cavern, Xander clicked on his communications system so that all of his troops could hear him.

"Ok Boyz, this is it. There should be about 500 vampires, give or take, and one really old master vampire right on the other side of this smoke cloud." Xander stated as he reviewed the information that the ground penetrating radar was telling him. "When we come out of the smoke, I want you to shoot at anything that moves and we'll sort out the rest on the other side." Xander stated.

A series of "Yez Boss," or "Hyu betzcha" and "Yez Sir." Came back in reply from the Jägers, and Xander smiled a nervous smile inside of his helmet.

This was it; this was Xander's turn to be in the first string, not donut boy, not backup or side kick. These were his troops, and he was leading them. A sudden burst of inspiration hit him; perhaps it was time for Xander to start a new tradition in slaying.

"Jarvis, let's give Da Boyz something to get pumped up with and take a hint from the movie 'Apocalypse Now,' scare the crap out of the vampires." Xander stated as his nervous smile turned into an excited smirk that grew across his face. "External speakers on full volume, first track 'Immigrant Song' by Led Zeppelin please, followed by the track 'Hell March'." Xander commanded.

With the first strain of the pounding beat, and right on the war cry of the classic rock song by Led Zeppelin, Xander yelled, "Light them up!" and headed out of the smoke while depressing the trigger on his Toastmaster, shooting a solid string of plasmatic fire straight in front of him.

It looked as if the Grim Reaper and his red eyed demon Host had stepped out of the fog of the river Styx, as Xander and forty fully armored Jägerkin charged out of the smoke cloud with streams of fire leading the way. It was incredibly impressive; it's just too bad that no plan survives first contact with the enemy.

The music had startled the horde of fledgling vampires that was edging around the toxic smoke, none of them willing to enter it as most of those standing in the ranks closest to the smoke had rash like blemishes on their skin from it. The brief second of shock from the blast of music was punctuated by five vampires, standing in the front row, immediately turning into towering infernos of flame as balls of plasma seemed to roll through the air in a tidal wave of unexpected fury.

The first blast of fire was followed by a second, and then the entire front ranks of vampires on the ground were on fire. It is important to note that it was the vampires on the ground that were on fire, because the vampires that were scuttling across the ceiling and walls like so many demonic cockroaches as well as the row upon row of vampires behind those initial Bar-B-Q'd vampires were not on fire.

Xander's eyes got large behind his helmet as he realized that there were more than a mere 500 vampires crammed into the cavernous underground room before him and connecting side tunnels. It was at that moment that Xander cursed the fact that vampires were 'room temperature' due to their non-beating hearts, and thus hadn't shown up on the infrared sensors built into the sensor package of the armor. It was like some deranged Alien's movie, where instead of acid infused spiny aliens from outer space clinging and scuttling on every surface, it was demonic hordes of super strong, super fast vampires hissing and showing fangs at the interlopers who had invaded their territory.

"Sir, I count at least three thousand vampires within one hundred yards of your position." Jarvis helpfully added.

"Fuck, and here I thought fate was done screwing with me today." Xander cursed into his helmet but continued to spray and pray; gouts of fire created a path in front of Xander as he tried to clear out as many vampires as possible before the blood suckers could rally and counter attack.

Clicking his communications system on Xander shouted out orders, scrambling to get ready for when the tide of vampiric bodies fully realized they were under attack by a much smaller force and charged his position.

"Pull in close like a Roman turtle formation. Back ranks, keep our heads clear. Right and left most lines have the walls and front put up a firewall!" Xander yelled over the communications system.

The Jäger's, ever the consummate soldier and warrior, immediate followed directions and formed up on Xander, creating a line with Xander in the front foremost and middle of the line. With that, a concentrated barrage of flames leapt like a wall of fire at the vampires.

The vampires screamed in a mix of pain and agony from the flames, as well as fury that someone would dare to challenge them. Caught like a rat in a corner, the tide of vampires swept forward with a scream, moving as if they were one giant creature rather than individual vampiric beings.

It was like a tidal wave, an avalanche of demonic fury that swept away everything before it with a scream of fury as the vampires charged Xander's position, using the flaming hulks of their dying brethren as shields which they jumped and pushed through to get at Xander and his forces. Xander and his troops were stuck using the ToastMasters to trying and set alight enough vampires to keep their position from getting overrun.

"Ha ha ha ha! Come and get me fuckers! You're all going to burn!" Xander found himself laughing like a maniac as he killed more and more vampires, creating a literal burning wall of flesh in front of him that the vampires had to get past to get at him and his men, and still the vampires came.

The music continued to blast from his speakers, but now it was drowned out by the scream of the dying vampires, the crackling of flames, and the fwooshing sound of the Toastmasters and their vampire kindling.

The first sign that Xander's forces were in real trouble was when a flight of five vampires seemed to leap off of the ceiling and fly through the gap in Xander's coverage scheme; flying between the blasts of fire hitting the ceiling and those hitting the forces charging on the ground.

Xander and the Jäger next to him went down, each under a pair of flailing vampires. The power of the body blows knocked Xander and the Jäger next to him to the ground while the fifth vampire was cut in half when Xander fell backwards and his crashing glaive neatly bisected the blood sucker.

Scrabbling claws failed to puncture through Xander's or the Jäger's armor, but it took the combined efforts of them plus two more Jägers to quickly dispatch the vampires that had breached the line.

Just like that, the brief moment where the Jägers turned to help their boss was enough for about fifty more vampires to break through the mound of flaming corpses and attack the front line hand to hand.

"Claws Out! They've breached the line!" Xander yelled over the comm. system, just in time to catch two vampires by the neck with his glaive while sticking the muzzle of his Toastmaster into the chest of another one and sending a stream of fire through the torso of that vampire and into the four behind the demon.

It devolved into a brawl that would have made any Space Marine proud, as fire and power claws met the undead flesh and claws of the charging horde.

The front rank of Jäger's dropped their Toastmasters as they extended claws and fought as only a Jägermonster could, in brutal claw to claw combat. Claws of undead flesh met claws that went through flesh like a laser cutter through toilet paper. Vampiric fangs met steel that wouldn't give as well as heads that smashed in noses and armored feet that broke knees and shattered spines; and that was just the Jägers fighting.

Xander was a spinning ball of death, the fury of a storm as Xander's mind lit up with lines of physics, vectors, and the power assistance of the suit added to his already inhuman strength. Flicking a switch on his glaive, a perpendicular three foot blade of pure energy shot from the end of the haft of his glaive, turning the once innocent end of his weapon into a scythe that could carve through steel in a blink of an eye and through flesh without resistance. Xander had become the Grim Reaper, a being who danced death to his enemies as he used the bulk of his eight foot armored frame to push forward and give himself room to work.

And work he did, dodging claws and fangs while sweeping the rear blade forward in a spin that cut a score of vampires off at the waist; Xander rolled the glaive's top blade flush up against his back and towards the ceiling to skewer a vampire that was attempting to leap on his back. Xander's free hand extended its claws as he took out the eyes of two vampires to his right, bladed fingers straight forward like a spear blade and moving so quickly that a trail of optical nerves and grey matter followed the sweep of his hand as he continued his spin. Xander then leaned forward while continuing with the force of his centrifugal motion to fling the dying vampire off the top blade of his glaive and bringing said top blade spinning like a top across his back, bisecting and dusting the thirty vampires around him. In short, Xander was the lawnmower, and the vampires' asses were grass, Xander mowed them down like wheat ready for the harvest.

This dance of death continued for about fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes where Xander must have killed at least a hundred or so vampires.

Unfortunately, it wasn't enough as hundreds more vampires continued to pour out of side tunnels. '_Apparently Dracula and his horde have been busy_,' a voice in Xander's head quipped.

'_Not Helping!' _Xander grunted at the voice in his head as he caught a flying vampire by the throat and clenched his clawed hand into a fist, power claws crushing the throat and dusting the vampire as it was beheaded.

Again, the press of bodies was too much as several vampires that Xander was busy stomping on, tripped up his footing and allowed others to dog pile him to the ground.

Xander realized he was in trouble, and his HUD was telling him that many of his Jägers were also on their backs struggling to hack their way to a standing position. None of the Jägers' armor had been breached yet, but enough blows to the helmet could rattle around the brain until they passed out, then they would be dead meat.

"Jarvis! Activate everybody's Firewall system now!" Xander screamed at his AI as he wildly struggled to throw off the equally strong fledgling vampiric forces that were gathered on him beating on his armored form. Xander's hand with the power glaive was trapped to the side, and his one clawed hand could only cut through so many vampires at a time, not enough to get him unburied and standing at the same time.

"Sir, need I remind you that the Firewall system is still in its experimental stage for biological or manned armored systems?" Jarvis's British voice questioned, a bit too smug for Xander's liking given the situation.

"Fuck experimental Jarvis! Do it now or so help me God, I'm going to load your AI core into a hard drive full of nothing but Barney the purple dinosaur episodes for you to have as input!" Xander cursed.

"You don't have to get snippy, Sir. Firewall system engaging… now." Jarvis announced.

With that, napalm exploded in a high-pressured spray from miniature ports all over the armor of Xander and his Jägers and a magnesium spark was lit.

A gigantic 'FWOOSH' sound of ignition was heard, as all of the surrounding oxygen around Xander and the individual armored Jägers ignited like miniature aerial fuel bombs.

The piles of vampires that were pinning down Xander and his troops disappeared in a flash of fire, as Xander and his Jäger troops rose up from the ground like vengeful fire gods; Xander had copied the defensive systems from the fiery streetlamp clanks from New Mechanicsburg and installed it in their armor.

"Sir, Heating levels in your and the Jägers' armor are rising quickly, I judge that you have just about thirty seconds of this before your systems start to overheat and the Firewall system's fail safes kick in to avoid boiling you in your armor." Jarvis announced.

"Alright Jarvis, I hear you." Xander stated as he felt a noticeable increase in heat levels in the normally temperature controlled armor.

"Jäger's form up and charge!" Xander announced over his comm. system, and like that, he used the flight capability of his Nth Metal infused suit to shoot towards the ceiling and zigzag back and forth through the masses of vampires on the ceilings.

The Jägerkin followed suit, but without the flight capability the majority merely plowed straight across the floor of the large cavern like miniature flaming comets while others used their claws and superior strength to vault themselves to the walls and scrambled forward into the horde of vampires, all together vaporizing any vampire that got within 10 feet of them. Like living furnaces they melted through the horde of vampires while running, scrambling or clambering, or flying at full speed. Vampires died by the thousands and the air was choked with smoke as the once charging horde of vampires turned tail and tried to get away from Xander and his forces, but there was no escape.

Xander's forces moved inexorably deeper into the caverns, and Xander finally saw a white light shining in the distance as his troops continued to flame more and more vampires; and still time counted down.

10 seconds, 8 seconds, 5 seconds, 2 seconds, and then "Ding, Sir, your turkey is done." Jarvis's voice stated as the Firewall systems on the armor extinguished itself.

"Very funny Jarvis, ha ha." Xander growled sarcastically as, with sweat dripping into his eyes, he saw a character looking like a bad impersonation of Dracula, with black and red cape and slicked backed black hair, standing next to an alter with a hovering girl floating in the white light.

'_Then again, since that really is Dracula, maybe it's not a bad impersonation after all.'_ A voice in Xander's head stated.

'_Yeah, that's right; he just has no sense of style or taste.'_ A second voice added.

'_This coming from the guy with a Hawaiian shirt fetish.'_ Stated a third voice, sounding remarkably similar to that of Cordelia Chase.

Xander ignored the voices as he was too busy regrouping with his troops and charging the mass of about two hundred vampires that remained between him and Dracula.

Using his airborne momentum like a cannonball, Xander flung himself into the mix of vampire fledglings like a twister into a trailer park; his armor still hot enough to melt any flesh that touched it.

"Stop him my children! My bride is almost reborn and then we can leave this city and start anew somewhere else!" The voice of Dracula cried out, spurring the remaining fledglings to stymie Xander's forward momentum.

A second later, the Jägerkin had caught up to Xander and were having a blast throwing vampires around and practicing Vampire Anatomy 101: the Jäger Style.

"Tenks for trowink such a fun party boss. Kan ve do dis again zum time?" a miscellaneous Jäger's voice said over the communications channel.

"Yeah sure, I'll look right into that." Xander said sarcastically in reply over the communications system as he gutted another vampire.

Apparently the Jägers didn't understand sarcasm, because a flurry of, "Tenks Boss!" and "Hyu da best!" soon rang out over the system.

"Rise, Rise my beauty and we will crush this interloper once and for all!" Dracula stated as dark smoke seemed to issue out of the master vampire's hands towards the beauty floating in the air over the alter.

At the same time, Xander realized that whatever that black smoke was, it shouldn't be allowed to hit that girl, whom Xander's systems told him was still alive.

"Fast Jarvis! Snatch and grab transit portal on that girl and open me a window through!" Xander yelled into his system as he quickly punched his fist through the chest of the vampire in his grasp and dived forward towards a vampire in front of him.

The vampire in front of Xander tensed for impact, but got a surprise in the form of a portal snapping and twisting to life right at the middle of said vampire's chest; a portal that Xander disappeared into fists and head first in a superman dive.

On the raised platform, where the alter and floating girl were, a portal quickly appeared on the floor and sucked upwards quickly, making the girl and white marble alter disappear while a flying Xander soared out of it and straight through the black wisps of magic that had been heading for the girl.

Dracula only had a second to realize that he was in trouble before two metal clad fists dissipated Dracula's black magic and then nailed him right in the chin, sending Dracula rolling head over heels with Xander on top of him.

Being a 500 year old master vampire has some perks though, and one of those is speed beyond anything Xander could have hoped to match. With this blinding speed, even faster than Xander could track, time seemed to slow down, Dracula kicked Xander off of him and launching Xander's armored frame towards the ceiling.

Inside his armor, Xander gave a metal shout of 'Shit!' as he flew up to impact the ceiling before crashing down to the ground.

Xander hit the ground hard but then rolled to the right, and then to the left, dodging two crushing stomps before engaging his flight power and causing Xander's armored body to twist like a top, allowing Xander to fling his armored claws out wide and rending a chunk out of Dracula's calf muscle that had the master vampire stumbling back.

Xander popped up into a standing position and moved into the light as he did what is normal to Xander when stuck in a fight with a vampire stronger and faster than he was; Xander taunted the master vampire on his external speakers, using his own voice this time. "So Deadboy, or Sir-Gels-a-lot, your daddy called you an impotent waste of fecal material who had the gall to call himself 'the first vampire.' I figure that it is only fitting that as his real heir that I finish cleaning up after his mistake, don't you agree fang face?" Xander taunted. Xander slowly moved closer to the vampire and came fully into the moonlight that was issuing through a crack in the ground above the cavern.

"I am the first vampire, and I don't know which Father you speak of for I…" Dracula started off being pompous and sneering at Xander but then stopped as the light hit the Heterodyne crest embedded in the forehead of the skull in the middle of Xander's chest.

"You!" Dracula said, the first hints of real fear come to the vampire's face, for even when his fledglings were getting torn apart the master vampire hadn't really cared. With that, Dracula backed out of the light and towards the shadows behind him.

Xander realized in a spit second what Dracula was about to do when he saw the shadows around Dracula seem to draw together.

"Oh no you don't!" Xander yelled and flung himself at Dracula as quickly as he could.

Dracula's eyes grew even larger as Xander hit him, and both Xander and Dracula disappeared into the shadow. A solid wall of stone behind them, and no sign of Xander or Dracula.

* * *

Xander and Dracula came rolling out of a shadow and across a richly carpeted floor of a room lit with torches, hung with tapestries, and looking to be straight out of Martha Stewart's guide on 'How to Decorate Your Evil Castle.'

Xander dug his clawed hands into Vlad Dracul's chest and took handfuls of flesh with him as the two figures rolled across the floor and Xander was kicked free by Dracula; Xander sailed across the room and through the wall behind him.

"Wow, he kicks like a mule." Xander said to himself as he shook his head, hopped up, and charged right back through the hole that he had just made in the wall; only to go flying right back where he had been and through another wall as Dracula had apparently found himself a large mace to use against Xander.

Vlad Dracul seemed to glide through the hole in the first wall with preternatural grace, his silken shirt torn but his bare chest unmarred underneath it. The giant metal mace, inscribed with all types of screaming faces and demonic seeming symbols was easily carried in the master vampire's hands yet looked to have been more fitting if it was carried by a giant, rather than a man of six foot height.

"You may be my Tată's heir, but you don't have the power or strength of The Black Heterodyne." Dracula said with a toothy smile as he marched up to the still shaken Xander and brought the mace crashing down on Xander's armored form, sending Xander crashing through the floor and through the floor of the level below that.

Vlad jumped through the hole and only Xander's dazedly rolling to the side allowed Xander to dodge getting a two story pile driver from the ancient vampire. Still, Xander's dodging wasn't fast enough to dodge the grasping hands that caught Xander by the armpits and repeatedly smashed Xander head first into the ceiling.

"Fuck!" Xander slurred, as though his armor wasn't breached, his brains and body were being shaken so much by the blows that the inertia was damaging his internal organs, causing Xander to struggle to remain awake; he had seriously underestimated this vampire.

Somehow, in between the seventh and eighth time of having his armored head embedded in the stone ceiling, Xander was able to whip his hand around and slice through the side of Dracula's neck, causing blood to spurt across the room and Vlad to gag and drop Xander as the vampire's esophagus was sliced through.

Vlad dropped to his knees next to the now collapsed form of Xander as the master vampires neck quickly healed from the blow.

"Gggrrggle ha ha ha, nice try human. Your claws may cut me, but you're not fast enough to take off my head, and you can't do any permanent damage to me with your silly mechanical weapons, for I am truly the first vampire of this world!" Dracula stated, first as a gurgle and then more clearly as he pushed himself off of his knees and started to stand.

Xander pushed himself up to all fours and looked up at the vampire that towered over him. Ever defiant, Xander turned his red optical lenses to look up at Dracula and said, "Well your dad liked me better than you, and you hit like a girl." Xander taunted. The scowl of rage on Vlad's face was a shallow victory, but it was still a victory that Xander would take.

Dracula's reply was to frown and do a full golf swing with the mace that ended up picking Xander up off the floor and sent Xander careening through the stone ceiling, a stone wall, another stone ceiling, and finally another stone wall before falling and crushing a long wooden table in what must have been a banquet hall for the castle.

Xander's nose and ears were bleeding from the blow, and he was struggling to breathe as it felt like his lungs and stomach were trying to come out of his mouth, or failing that, through his eyes.

Blurrily, Xander saw Vlad floating up through the hole that Xander guessed his 'flight' had made in the wall of the Great Hall. Xander's subconscious admired the tapestries on the wall; they were suitably fitting considering they showed people being impaled on stakes, fighting the vampire armies or Dracula himself.

'_It's a fitting place to die, here where the battles against vampires are immortalized in some way.'_ Xander thought as he coughed up some blood in his helmet, the automatic systems immediately cleaning the HUD off so that Xander could unfortunately watch Dracula smugly walk across the floor towards Xander, carrying the huge mace.

"I think I'll use your armor for my own after I finish scraping out the goo that is left after I kill you. No mere human could ever hope to fully defeat me, the Master of all Vampires. After I'm done with you, I will find your base of operations and turn your minions, using them as cattle to feed upon or slaves as I take over this world once and for all." Dracula said, and then with a smirk and a lot of showmanship, twirled the mace around him before bringing it over the vampire's head and positioned to crush Xander.

"Any last words, mortal?" Vlad Dracul, Dracula and master vampire said as he got ready to crush Xander.

"Stupid monologue," Xander replied, and with that Dracula brought the mace crashing down at Xander's head.

This was it; the mace was heading at Xander's head and Xander's life flashed before his eyes. The drunken parents, meeting Willow and the yellow crayon, the fun times with Jesse Jonathan Willow and the other geeks doing geeky things, meeting Buffy and learning about vampires and demons, slaying Jesse and Xander's vow to kill all vampires, saving the world a time or two, and then Xander's experiences in this new world all flooded through his mind's eye in that instant as the mace moved closer and closer to his head.

All of this introspection was interrupted by an internal voice in Xander's head going, "Ding, upgrade complete and fully activated."

An almighty 'Clang' sounded as the gigantic mace of Dracula crushed into the metal of Xander's armored fist, and fractured with the force of the blow.

Xander was shocked to find himself still alive.

Dracula was shocked to see the handle of the metal mace cracked from the impact where Xander's fist had punched through the mace and left Xander and his armor undamaged.

Xander smiled inside his helmet, and lashed out with his feet at the vampire that stood over him; sending Dracula flying through the ceiling of the great hall, through a wall, and then the ceiling of another room.

Xander took off flying after the tumbling vampire. No flashy moves, just flying with fist straight ahead of him and faster than a speeding bullet to impact into Dracula's stomach and drive the vampire two floors down into the castle.

Xander didn't let up, driving feet first through the hole just created and impacting straight into the vampire's back with a resounding snap as Dracula's spine cracked and ribs shattered.

Xander dodged the flailing blow of Dracula as if the vampire was moving in slow motion, and then Xander moved forward to rain a hail of rabbit punches into the kidneys of the downed vampire, no doubt bursting internal organs in the vampire's torso.

Dracula groaned in pain and rolled out of the way, attempting to propel himself into the shadows under a table so that he could escape the damage that Xander was raining down on the vampire.

"Oh no you don't! It's my turn now." Xander growled as he grabbed Dracula by an ankle and pulled the struggling clawing vampire back into the light that came from torches that flickered on the walls. The vampire's clawed hands rent the fabric of the carpet as he was dragged out from under the table.

Picking Dracula up by the armpits, Xander smashed Vlad's head into the ceiling repeatedly.

"See how you like it, you son of a bitch." Xander snarled as Vlad rained blows upon Xander's shoulder and clawed at Xander's armored hands.

Whereas before Dracula had easily overpowered Xander, the opposite was true now, for Xander's Amazo inspired upgrades had finally completed and now Xander had the strength and speed of the Son of Krypton and The Flash.

Xander wrapped his hands around Dracula's throat entirely, and the vampire thrashed, rained blows on Xander's head, and even attempted to kick Xander in not nice places.

"Any last words?" Xander snarled to the frightened vampire that was helpless in Xander's hands.

"I thought you were a hero? Hero's don't kill the villain!" Dracula gasped out through Xander's strangling hold.

Xander merely growled and tightened his hands into fists, power claws beheading Dracula in a splash of blood and gore that almost instantly turned to dust.

Xander was left holding a fanged skull in his hands as the rest of the vampire's flesh and bones ignited in flames and turned to dust.

"Not a hero." Xander growled, "I'm a Heterodyne." He finished, and with that Xander crushed the skull between his hands and the remains of Dracula turned to dust and blew away on ethereal winds.

Xander stood there, stunned that he had won, as he looked around at what he assumed was Dracula's castle but didn't know for sure. It was then that the aches and pains of his multiple hour long battle caught up to Xander and he groaned in pain and fell over backwards like a toppling tree.

As Xander hit the ground, he activated his armor's comm. system and transponder.

"Medic!" Xander groaned, before darkness fell over his eyes.

* * *

**AN1: Well, I hope you liked it. A bit different than the happy go lucky that Xander usually gets up to in this universe, but definitely not the last time that he will get stuck in an all out battle or even a war. Cheers! **

**AN2: A side note, though I use some designs from the Warhammer 40k universe or others, my Xander is not relegated to using one system or another exactly like it was in the universe he is borrowing the idea from; hence the Grey Knight armor with the Jarvis 'Iron Man' AI system in it plus other changes. Expect to see him mixing and matching as the situation calls for it.**

**AN3: In case you want to see the inspiration for Xander's armor, go to my author's profile page and click the link there.**


	14. Chapter 14: Public Exposure

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smattering of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes.

**AN1: Ok people, I really appreciate the reviews, questions or private messages, but I have to make a point. Please don't attempt to tell me I "Have to do" or "You need to do" something in order for my story to be a success or threaten to not read it unless I use your idea. If you feel that strongly about it, create your own story where Xander does what you want him to do. Chances are some of your ideas may hit an idea that I am already planning on using, or give me ideas, but make it a suggestion not a demand. I don't answer to demands and I'm more likely than not going to ignore your demand just to spite you if you tell me I have to do something; just like I do when my wife tells me what I 'have to do' or when my parents demanded I do a certain thing when I was but a boy. I'm stubborn and am more likely to take your suggestions than your demands. Little quirk, but there it is. Suggestions and thoughts are always welcome, demands… not so much.**

**AN2: Second verse, same as the first, Henry the 8****th**** I am I am… ok, now that I got that out of my system and got the song stuck in all of your heads, I'll start the chapter.**

**AN3: Special thanks go out to my new Beta for this story, Rylia.**

* * *

'_Thought'_

"Speech"

**Chapter 14: Public Exposure**

One should respect public opinion in so far as it is necessary to avoid starvation and to keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny.

- Bertrand Russell

High above planet Earth, and with a great view of said planet, Wonder Woman and Superman sat in the main conference room of the orbiting Watchtower.

"Do you know what this meeting is about?" Kal El, also known as Clark Kent or Superman, asked as he turned his gaze from the planet below and walked over to take a seat across the round table from Wonder Woman.

"No Kal, though Bruce sounded especially agitated when he called the meeting with the two of us; well, as agitated as he ever gets." Wonder Woman, aka Diana, explained with a slight shrug as to the reason for the meeting of the Trinity; the three super heroes who created and semi-led the Justice League.

"I called you here because we have a new problem, one that was able to subdue me much too easily and knows too much." Bruce Wayne said, otherwise known as Batman, but here in the meetings of the Trinity all casually answered to their real names.

This caught the attention of both Kal El and Diana.

"Are you well my friend? And what do you mean by they know too much?" Diana asked with concern for both her friend and the situation.

Batman sat and removed his cowl as he took out a data disk from inside his cape. Inserting the data disk into a slot on the table, a holographic display appeared above the center of the circular conference table.

"I took this film two nights ago, right before I was subdued. It was broadcast wirelessly to the Batmobile while it was filming." Bruce stated.

The holographic display began to show a city cemetery, dark and full of angel and cross covered graves with the occasional crypt or mausoleum dotting the landscape. Walking casually through the graveyard towards a center crypt were several pale and boney figures whose white complexion and yellow eyes seemed to glow in the bright moon light.

The pale figures looked to be talking for a second before moving and entering a center crypt. Eventually more figures moved out of the shadows and also disappeared into the crypt over the next few minutes of the film.

"What are we watching Bruce?" Superman turned to Bruce and asked in his deep voice.

"Wait a second, here we go." Batman stated as crackling blue lines of energy snapped and twisted into existence, disgorging squads of heavily armed and darkly armored beings.

"Parademons!" Wonder Woman growled somewhat questioningly.

"No, notice the lack of a boom and the concerted teamwork, they don't appear to be Darkseid's parademons." Kal El stated, still focusing on the video as the view of the hologram seemed to swing wildly as it was panned around the graveyard, showing multiple squads appearing all around Bruce's position in the graveyard.

The film continued, as a center blue portal disgorged a squad of the black armored beings and then a hulking grey armored behemoth with skeletal mask and skull adorned insignia. Batman gave a running dialogue to the other heroes watching the video with him.

"Notice how the dark armored squads all work together, they are all sporting similar armor and weaponry delineating some sort of organized force rather than the normal group of villain and untrained thugs that we normally face." Bruce explained, pointing into the hologram at the different weaponry and at the way that the black armored beings moved together, covering their flanks while moving steadily closer towards the center crypt.

"Watch the center figure in the grey armored suit, possibly robotic or cyborg though he did seem to display human emotions later on." Bruce explained, as the tall figure in grey pointed towards the crypt and another black armored soldier raised a double-tubed weapon onto their shoulder and discharged two energy balls spiraling at the crypt that had been the focus of the earlier part of the video.

A 'Boom' seemed to shake the screen as the shockwave of sound from the explosion of energy had a visible effect on the film.

Both Superman and Wonder Woman's faces went grim as they saw that where formerly there was a crypt, was now nothing at all. No twisted remains, no remnant of dust from a disintegration or molecular melt down, simply nothing but air existed in a twenty foot spherical radius, and they were pretty sure that the 'boom' sound was partially formed by the vacuum of air rushing back into the gap that the energy blast had made. Thoughts that the effect was similar to Darkseid's Omega beams went through the three heroes' heads.

"That's not even the most concerning part." Batman stated seeming to read the other heroes' thoughts while still focusing on the footage taken from that night.

The camera shifted and moved as it was clear that it was being set down on the top of a gravestone and pointed towards the crypt. A black figure ghosted through the shadows, darting behind a grave stone closer to the crypt.

At the same time that the camera was being set down and Batman was moving into the picture, two of the black armored figures were seen firing what looked like giant grenade launchers into the hole in the ground. The action proceeded quickly from there as Batman's arm was seen to wing a batarang at the grey armored figure who was directing his forces into the hole in the ground, and then Batman was attacked from above.

The film showed why Batman was a force to be reckoned with, as even though he was human, the video showed his fluid motions as he parried one arm that attempted to wrap around his head while ducking under another arm while using two razor sharp batarangs to simultaneously sever two of the grasping tentacles. Still, since he was only human there was no way that he could dodge the 22 remaining tentacles since both robots had been so close to Batman before they attacked; a thrown batarang had bounced off of the hull of the one of the red optical sensor studded hull of the squid like robot.

The trinity's faces were grim as they watched Batman being carried out to face the armored soldiers and their grey armor clad hulk of a leader.

"The armor on the one you hit isn't even scratched." Wonder Woman stated, ever the warrior and trained to look for weaknesses in possible enemies. Out of the side of her peripheral vision she saw Bruce nod his head in agreement at her statement; he had no doubt reviewed the tape multiple times to glean it of all useful information.

The three heroes watched the remaining film footage with grim faces; Bruce's turning red and angry as he saw his past and possible futures thrown in his face on the film, though Wonder Woman's turned calculative as she caught the Grey Knight mention that he was a demon hunter.

As an Amazonian whose capital sat over a literal portal to hell, Hades, demons and undead were a very present concern and it made her sit back and try to look at the Grey Knight as possibly something other than a monster.

'_If the Grey Knight only killed demons, then perhaps he could be a noble ally to fight beside_. _Just what the Grey Knight considers a 'Demon' is the question though.' _Diana thought grimly.

The camera continued to record as Bruce, in his Batman garb, was rendered unconscious by a vicious looking needle on one of the multi-armed robots and then flown up into the sky by the two robots as the armored figures disappeared into the smoke. The video continued to record the hole, until a clawed tentacle appeared to get larger in the view screen and the hologram turned to static as a crunching sound was heard and the recording ended.

The three heroes were silent for a moment as Diana and Kal El gathered their thoughts, and Bruce calculatingly waited to hear their initial responses.

"What do we know about these so called vampires? I've never seen a human being disintegrate into dust like that before, even the bones powdered when that Grey Knight killed them." Superman questioned, Diana and he both looking at Bruce to answer.

"My research on the infected showed some type of virus, though my test subject disappeared before I could create a cure; I was following the escapee to the Gotham City cemetery when I filmed this endeavor." Bruce stated.

"So it wasn't demonic or magical, it was biological." Diana pointedly asked, noting that Bruce hadn't answered the question in 100% fullness.

A bit chagrined, Bruce looked away while answering, "I was unable to find a scientific pathogenic or viral infestation in the blood of the infected, which may possibly suggest that some of what the Grey Knight said was true, that the vampirism may be magical or demonic in nature." Bruce explained, his use of the words 'magical' and 'demonic' coming out like curse words.

"Still if he is killing humans then he must be stopped." Superman stated while pressing several buttons on the table before him and displaying a holographic image of the Grey Knight in the air before them.

"Let's not be too hasty Kal. If they are truly demons or undead like the Grey Knight stated, then he was right to slay them. The dead belong in Hade's realm and the demons in their planes of hell. To allow them to wander the earth is against the will of the Gods and can only bring evil to this world. Besides, he didn't kill Bruce when he had the chance. What happened after the video stopped?" Diana contributed, turning to Bruce at the end to find out the outcome of the night.

"I woke up laying on my bed at Wayne Manor." Bruce growled darkly. "He got into my house and didn't even set off any of the alarms or security that I have functioning around the place."

That took Superman and Wonder Woman aback. It was somewhat frightening hearing that the Grey Knight and his forces were able to ghost unseen and unhindered into Wayne Manor, probably one of the most strongly secured and monitored private mansions in the US if not the whole world.

"That's not all. Take a look at this video from when we found the skunks in the Watchtower." Bruce added, pressing a few buttons on his consol and changing the hologram to show a camera video from a hallway.

On the video there was a slight flash of blue light that flashed from around the corner that was out of sight, and then a few seconds later several skunks wandered into the monitored hallway and wandered off screen. The blue light that had appeared to glow from off screen suddenly went out.

"The color and light spectrometers agree that the color and intensity of light is consistent with that given off by the Grey Knight's portals." Batman explained, before changing the screen back to an image of the Grey Knight.

Diana leaned forward to get a better look at the image. "So Flash or Plastic man really weren't the culprits for that prank. Why do you think the Grey Knight would send a pack of skunks into our station? Do you think it's as simple as a prank or something more sinister like notifying us that he can reach us any time he wants to?" Diana finished, pressing buttons that made the three dimensional image of the Grey Knight rotate around in a circle.

"I don't know, but I've doubled the security coverage of the station, since neither of you are allowing me to put in more active defenses." Batman stated, glaring at Superman at the last part of his statement while pulling his cowl back into place covering his head.

"And it will remain that way Bruce. I don't want somebody getting injured simply because you haven't had the time to agree to the addition of a new hero to the league or are too busy to update the systems. You can arm the Batcave as much as you like, but the station is neutral territory for all league members and our guests." Superman stated firmly, but not harshly.

"Which I have already done so since I had a bit of a… difficulty last month." Batman growled, his head again fully covered by his trademark cowl.

"Do we know anything else about this Knight, this dimension walking demon slayer?" Wonder Woman asked as she continued to look at the intricacy of the armor, trying to assess its capabilities. The seeming smoothness of the armor gave no evidence to any internal systems or weapons.

"No, no other information on abilities, location of base, strengths or weakness. The only other information we have to work with is the symbol on the chests of his soldiers, otherwise I don't have anything. No historical books seem to have that symbol in its exact configuration, especially not matched with the skulls and skeleton motif. The only recent example of a symbol showing up like that is a new coffee company that seems to be spreading, but it is being launched by a Native American tribe that has been around for centuries. I also haven't found a way to track or predict his manor of transportation. For all we know he could be opening a portal from another dimension every time he steps into ours." Batman explained, the two other heroes could tell that Batman was not happy with this lack of information.

"Perhaps we should just ask him the next time we see him?" Superman postulated, ever the Boy Scout and willing to give people a chance, especially based off of Wonder Woman's statement regarding demons; Superman wasn't too fond of magical enemies either.

"If we ever see him again." Batman stated firmly.

A slurping sound, like trying to suck the last little bit of fluid through a straw, was heard to issue from behind them. The three heroes quickly turned towards the door.

"Hey, isn't that the Grey Knight?" Flash asked from where he was standing in the doorway slurping the last bits of an iced-mocha coffee drink from a container in his hands; he'd become a bit addicted to having one at least twice a day if he had the time to run on by a Sparkbucks coffee shop.

Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman's eyes all got large as they turned and looked at each other, then the hologram that was still in the middle of the table, then back at The Flash.

"How do you know that name?" Batman growled.

The Flash shrugged. "I figured you'd already know about it, he's on the TV right now, live from Gotham Cemetery talking about some vampire infestation that he stopped. It's on pretty much every channel, surprised you didn't know considering its 'your' city and all." Flash said with a blasé smile while continuing to annoyingly slurp at his cup, trying to maneuver the straw through the ice to get that last little bit of iced coffee goodness; though the Flash had taken a moment away from slurping to do air-quotes around 'your' city.

The members of the trinity all looked at each other and then sprinted out of the room towards the Javelin hanger.

* * *

Earlier that day…

Xander had been unconscious for more than a day before he woke up groggy and confused as to where he was. It didn't help that when he woke up he didn't recognize the large bedroom that he was in. Xander did however recognize the cute blonde Dora, who was dressed up in a naughty nurse outfit.

"Good morning Master. Are you feeling better, Sir?" Dora asked when she saw that he was awake and went to throw open the long heavy red fabric curtains that were covering the twenty foot tall floor to ceiling windows.

"And what a beautiful morning it is." Xander said groggily but with a smile as he watched Dora's standing on her tiptoes to fix the curtains, causing her 'nurses uniform' to ride up her thigh and show that she was wearing a pair of bright red lacy boy-short panties and the top of her garter belt attached to white stockings.

Dora turned and glanced over her shoulder, throwing Xander a wink when she saw that he was looking her over.

"It's strictly look but don't touch this morning, on Igor's orders and because of your health. Frankly sir, if your upgrades hadn't kicked in during your last battle we wouldn't be having this conversation and you would either be permanently dead or emerging from the Lazarus Pit right about now." Dora elucidated as she turned to Xander and wagged her finger at him scolding. Somehow the effect of the scolding was less effective due to the fact that her breasts were practically falling out of the lacy red bra that she was wearing underneath the thoroughly unbuttoned white nurse's uniform.

"But what if I want to? I thought I was the one in charge here?" Xander questioned, mock pouting and playing along but still wondering in why Dora wasn't interested in playing, especially given what she was wearing.

"Uh uh uhhhh, no you don't. The arrangement between the Igor family and the Heterodyne line specifically states that the Master will not begin any strenuous activities until they are fully able to be up and about after any near death, partial death, mostly dead, undeath, or total death experiences; though Igor mentioned that there is a clause that says out of body experiences don't count." Dora stated while moving around the room to open the curtains fully, letting in the sun.

She opened one of the lead lined pane glass windows and a crisp and refreshing breeze filtered into the room while also causing nice looking goose bumps to rise up on her arms.

Xander unconsciously licked his lips as he was watching her work, the effect of the flush from the cold air and the resulting goose bumps had him turned on for some reason.

Clearing his throat so that he could talk as his mouth was surprisingly dry at the moment, Xander asked, "So um, if there is to be no 'strenuous activities' to be had, why are you teasing me so much this morning?"

"What better way to motivate you to get 'up' and about?" Dora said with a bit of a husky laugh and a wink, and then blew him a kiss from across the room as she went and opened another window.

Xander pouted, but his heart wasn't in it, and he couldn't keep himself from grinning while he watched Dora moving around the room.

Her moving around the room made him realize that he didn't know where he was.

"Um, not to sound naïve, but where am I? I mean, I know I'm in a bed in a room, but where that room and bed are, geographically speaking, where on the planet, um, yeah, you get what I'm asking?" Xander asked, bumbling over his words as he babbled a bit and struggled not to make a fool out of himself. Unfortunately, the big head was not fully staffed with blood cells given that Xander was watching Dora move around the room still.

"You are in Sighişoara, Transylvania sir, in the real castle of the former vampire known as Dracula but born Vlad Dracul, order of the Dragon and father of Vlad Tepes Apparently, it was the father who was the real Dracula, not the son Vlad the Impaler." Igor answered with more details than Xander really wanted while entering the room.

"Good morning Igor." Xander stated as he threw off his blankets and tried to step out of bed, only for Xander's legs to partially give out under him and caused him to balance himself on one of the cherry wood posts of the canopy bed.

"Woah, a little wobbly this morning." Xander stated, and then smiled as Dora came over with a robe and a shoulder to lean on; it was a bit chilly in the room to be walking around in only boxers.

Dora robed Xander and then helped steady him as he walked towards a table that sat before the windows. As Xander moved across the room he steadily got stronger and was able to move himself under his own power and balance before he got to the table and sat himself down.

"What do you mean by the true castle of Dracula or real castle?" Xander questioned Igor as Dora walked out of the room for a second, and returned with a large platter of breakfast food for Xander, which she set in front of Xander.

"Most people assume that Bran castle is the castle of Dracula. The castle was for all intents and purposes invisible until it appeared to the world with the death of the vampire formerly known as Dracula. We believe there may have been a spell that dissipated upon death. Understandably, this has caused much consternation in the townsfolk, and the mayor of Sighişoara has come to the front gate questioning if he could speak with the master of the castle. Apparently there are some legal and international clauses in the earlier treaty that joined Transylvania with Romania regarding the people's right to vote in absence of the true Voivode, or Duke of this region. Now that the castle is present again, the Master of which is said to be the Voivode, we will no doubt be hearing from the Romanian national government as well." Igor informed Xander in a matter of fact tone of voice.

Xander looked stunned, and used the time it took to swallow a mouth full of eggs and a swallow of coffee to think of what he wanted to know next or what plans to make.

"Igor, my brain is going a million different directions with the information you just gave me. What other information should I know before I start making some decisions? I have the feeling that time is of the essence here if we want to possibly stake a claim as this Voivode and get ourselves a country." Xander shrewdly questioned.

"Yes sir. The forces you left behind in the cavern finished off the remaining vampires and the squidies are reporting that they caught all vampires attempting to escape into the city. All of our weaponry and technology has been removed from the scene of the attack and returned to New Mechanicsburg or here at the castle; defense robots have been stationed here at the castle as well. I felt it best to remove all of our presence from the City of Gotham for now, so the coffee shop has been quietly closed and all sign that it existed in Gotham has been removed." Igor stated while reviewing a list of items off of the consol in his hands before continuing to give Xander other pertinent information on the current Transylvanian/Romanian treaty of unification as well as the state of the castle they were in now.

After listing off troop strength and economic information on Xander's current situation, Igor stopped and posed a question to Xander.

"Oh, and one last thing sir. What would you like to do with the young lady you rescued during the destruction of the vampires in Gotham? We have been able to ascertain that her name is Ms. Vale, Ms. Vicki Vale and is apparently a reporter in Gotham and sometime friend of a Mr. Bruce Wayne." Igor stated, giving Xander a knowing look at the stating of Bruce Wayne's name as Xander had filled Igor in on some details regarding Batman's alter ego.

Xander was silent as he continued to eat his food and thought on what to do about the situation. Factors, plans, contingencies and possibilities flew through his head, as well as alternatives on what to do when Murphy or Lady Luck raised their head as they always seemed to do around him.

Standing up, Xander started pacing across the room. Every so often he would stop and talk out loud to himself as ideas came to him.

"So first we deal with the castle. No no no, first I get the possible nosey reporter out of here and then I deal with the Romanians." Xander said to himself, and then turned to pace back the other direction, looking at the floor as he was deep in thought.

Reaching the apex of one turn of his pacing and turning back to go the other way, Xander stopped and focus to look over his shoulder at Igor.

"What is the percentage chance of us successfully taking over the Transylvanian territory and keeping it? Keep in mind that I want to keep the people happy and make them as prosperous as possible." Xander questioned his steward/chief henchman.

Igor's fingers flew over the screen of the consol in his hands and then turned to look at Xander.

"Depending on how much money, prosperity and security you can bring to the area, it could be possible to not only get the Romanian people to acquiesce to your request, but actually welcome it. They seem to be having problems with their current dictator, so if something perhaps could happen to him, we would be in a perfect position to take over at least the Transylvania region if not all of Romania. Additionally, the Black Heterodyne's traditional ties to the country could be off assistance." Igor detailed.

"No, no references to The Black Heterodyne, I want to erase all connections between my ancestors and vampires if possible. What do you know about this dictator?" Xander answered as he began pacing again.

Igor again consulted the computerized consol device in his hands.

"Nicolae Ceauşescu came to power in 1965 and allowed the Soviet Union to pretty much run the country. Death toll at his direction and that of the communist system under him is estimated to be over two million." Igor stated, looking back up at Xander to see if he needed any more information.

Xander again stopped, looked at the ceiling and his lips moved silently as he was going over facts in his head.

"I've heard of this guy, but in my dimension he was overthrown in a very bloody revolution back in 1989, how come this guy is still alive and kicking in the late 1990's?" Xander questioned, still looking at the ceiling and thinking, he found it distracting whenever Dora and her outfit came into view.

Xander thought of Dora and glanced over at the table where he had been eating breakfast and where she was now cleaning up. She had her legs together and was bending over at the waist with her panty clad ass pointing towards him, the view made Xander gulp and then quickly look back at the ceiling as he had almost missed Igor's answer.

"Ceauşescu's secret police employed meta-humans who would kill off any dissidents." Igor simply answered.

This caught Xander's attention. "Any named meta's I should be aware of?"

"One goes by the name of Starfire or Red Star, though he was only involved in once instance where rebels had taken over a theater of people and were threatening to kill them if the government didn't relent in its communistic goals. Starfire's last location was noted as being in the Ukraine. The other meta's seem to be more involved in the killings, and Starfire is simply a supporter of socialism who does the occasional heroic act and uses it to praise the ideology of communism." Igor explained, reading the details off his device.

"Whew, that's good. No Red Son to deal with." Xander stated as he continued to stare at the ceiling.

Xander got frustrated with staring at the ceiling and turned to Dora. "Dora dear, you're sexy as all that plus a bag of Twinkies, but sadly you're too much of a distraction at the moment. Would you please leave us?" Xander asked politely.

Dora smirked knowingly and sashayed her way out of the room, making sure to put extra sway in her hips, and blew a kiss at Xander before she finished leaving and closing the door to the room.

'_I hate to see her go, but love to watch her leave.'_ A little voice in Xander's head stated.

Xander shivered to clear the thoughts of Dora's swaying hips from his mind.

"Ok, where were we? Oh yeah, so Igor, I've decided to take over Romania." Xander stated as he walked up to Igor and put a hand on the older man's shoulder. The two walked towards the door of the castle's bedroom.

"So what do you know about capturing a small country and turning it into a superpower in the space of a week?" Xander queried as they walked out the door and through the gaudily decorated hallways.

"Not much sir, though I do have the proper training on managing any property you may acquire. Capturing, defending and building up an area are more the Master's line of work." Igor replied as they walked down a flight of steps that opened into a hallway.

"Fair enough, I can work with that." Xander stated after a few more minutes of thinking and walking.

Turning a corner at a 'T' Intersection, Xander and Igor entered the main hall and saw workmen patching the holes in the floors and walls. Where the great table had been were now banks of computer terminals staffed by some of Xander's people busily monitoring their stations and working away at whatever it was they were doing.

"Wow Igor, I'm impressed. Whatever it is, I'm impressed you were able to get it up and running in the time that I was unconscious." Xander stated looking around with a smile.

"Thank you sir, it's what I do." Igor simply replied with a slight bow of his head.

"Question though, how are you powering this place? I notice all of the torches that were burning have all gone out and don't remember any of these electrical light panels or any electric sockets being around here before?" Xander asked as he looked at the ceiling and then around the room at all of the electronic devices, communications systems, and thousands upon thousands of feet of conduit and electrical cabling that was present in the room.

"Your new design for the Lazarus Pit fluid power device has been completed sir. Though it is not as compact as the transdimensional device, one unit does put out enough power to run all of the equipment you see here and all of the lights for the castle." Igor explained, motioning with his arm around the space of the room.

"One device can do that, hmmm. So of course you've used another five to ten units right." Xander stated, a maniacal smile coming across his face as he thought of what he could do with all of that energy.

"Of course sir, I know your feelings regarding overkill." Igor replied. "As soon as the magic keeping the torches lit went out we started installing the electric systems. This was soon after we followed your transponder signal and arrived to help you." Igor continued.

"There's no such thing as overkill." Xander stated with a smile to which Igor merely nodded dutifully.

"Ok people, here's the plan." Xander raised his voice so that everybody in the large room could hear him.

"First, start remaking the castle, none of this kitschy vampire crap and let's make it high tech here, though keep the tapestries of the humans fighting vampires and demons; I have plans for those. Igor should be able to pull out the blueprints that I had for my dream fortress. Second, I'm going to get that reporter out of here as soon as possible. Assuming she is awake already?" Xander pointed the last part at Igor.

"Yes sir, awake and asking questions, though none of her questions have been answered. She has been confined to a room without windows and has only seen one of the doctors who work for you." Igor responded.

Xander nodded, "Good, let's keep it that way." Xander stopped mid sentence, "No, better yet we can use her and possibly get Batman and the other heroes off of our trail for a while." Xander finished.

"Let's drop her off in Gotham near the cemetery and see if we can hit more than one bird at the same time. Somebody get me my armor and make an anonymous report to the American national news stations that the answers to the Gotham disappearances will be answered in one hour at the cemetery." Xander ordered.

Igor clapped his hands, and all of the people in the room started to become active.

"Your armor is in the room through that door Sir." Igor offered, pointing to an antechamber off of the former great hall.

"Great! Thanks Igor." Xander stated with his traditional goofy smile that was so typical for the Scooby.

Right before Xander entered the antechamber, Xander called out behind him.

"When I get back from dealing with Gotham, I estimate we will have a short window of opportunity to deal with Ceauşescu's. Have a squad of Jäger's armored up, but paint them all black and remove the family crest." Xander started to turn towards the antechamber but quickly turned back around to add another command. "And grab me the blank helmet, paint it black and put a giant white question mark on it." Xander said the last part with a smirk.

Xander laughed to himself as he walked into the room to put on his armor.

'_Always leave your enemies guessing.' _Xander thought to himself as he put on his armor. He had a busy day ahead of him.

* * *

Vicki Vale had woken up in a room with four walls and no doors or windows. She had found herself in a hospital bed and the last thing she remembered was looking into the eyes of a man who had called himself Alucard when she had been introduced to him at a party earlier that week. Her awakening had been four hours earlier, and now she was out of bed and pacing as she was nervous at being locked up and anxious for answers to her questions.

Just as she reached one side of the seamless cubicle room and turned to walk back the other direction a flash of blue light lit up the room and a portal opened up, the same type of portal that the doctor and her food had arrived and left by for the last two days.

However it was a very different figure than a simple doctor that stepped out of portal.

It was like a being out of nightmares had stepped into the room with her as the figure that towered over her by three feet turned his red glowing eyes and skeletal head towards her and walked towards her.

Vicki found herself backing away from the giant metal looking being who wore skulls embedded in his armor. Unfortunately there was nowhere to escape, and Vicky found her reverse motion halted when she ran into the wall behind her.

"I've been looking forward to meeting you." The metal being stated in a deep dark voice.

Vicki's fight or flight instincts took over, and since there was no way to fight, and nowhere to flee to, she froze up in fear.

Vicki's eyes went wide open, and her only response was to let out a blood curdling scream as fear took over her body and she found herself cowering in the corner of the room with nowhere to escape to.

"Shit!" Xander said in his helmet, "I forgot to turn off the Vader voice. Quick Jarvis, change the voice to something totally innocent and harmless." Xander ordered.

Xander next tried to tell Ms. Vale to calm down.

Unfortunately what came out of Xander's mouth was the voice of a four year old little girl that sounded distinctly like Shirley Temple. "Woah there Ms. Vale, please don't scream, I'm not going to eat you or anything." Xander said.

The mix of voice and image was comparable to that of the villain from one of those horror movies where the kid's toy is possessed and starts murdering people. The mix of little girls voice and the words 'eat you', coupled with the visage of the giant skeletal figure with glowing eyes, was enough to do the trick.

Vicki Vale passed out from fear, eyes rolling back into her head as her mouth was frozen in a silent scream of terror as she slumped to the floor.

"Well at least she stopped screaming." Xander palmed his face while saying to himself. "Jarvis, just broadcast my normal voice." He commanded.

Bending down, Xander lifted Ms. Vale into his arms and carried her across the room and laid her in the bed in the middle of the room. Following that, Xander moved so that he was standing behind the bed so that he wouldn't be in her line of site when she woke up.

Xander stood there for a couple minutes, waiting to see if she would wake up on her own, but noted that the clock on his HUD was telling him that time was passing; which was unfortunately something that Xander couldn't afford to waste at the moment.

Pointing his arm at the head of Ms. Vale a hatch on the back of Xander's forearm slid seamlessly open and a nozzle poked out of the hatch; the nozzle constricting so that the radius of the opening was very small. With that, Xander shot a small quick stream of water that hit Vicki Vale right between the eyes.

Vicki sputtered awake, "Wha, What? What's going on, where am I?" She asked as she started to turn her head to look around and figure out what was going on with the weird dream she had just had.

"Stop!" Xander commanded in is normal voice, "Don't turn around just yet, just listen to my voice."

Vicki Vale's head stopped looking around, and Xander's HUD was telling him that her heart rate was again rising and heat was spreading across her skin in a pattern that would suggest she was again becoming afraid.

"Don't worry Ms. Vale, you are safe here and nobody would hurt you. I will not hurt you and just want to get you back to Gotham safe and sound in just a moment." Xander calmly stated.

"Wh, Why was there a freaky metal giant with a little girls voice in here then." Vicki hesitantly asked, not daring to look behind her.

"It was a mistake with his, I mean my voice system. But don't worry, the whole freaky thing like you say is just to scare bad guys, kind of like Batman." Xander replied, smiling inside his helmet.

Vicki was confused, "Wait, so you're a hero like Batman?" She questioned.

"Um, no, I wouldn't call myself a hero like Batman." Xander stated, but quickly continued when he saw Vicki start to tense up again, "That doesn't mean I'm a villain or big bad though, I just don't necessarily follow the same rules that Batman does or go out of my way to fight crime." He finished.

Vicki began to relax, and as she relaxed her normal reporter instincts kicked in as she smelled a story.

"So care to tell me who that freaky guy who kidnapped me was, or what he was doing with me, what happened to him and if Batman was really behind the disappearances of the Lost Ones?" She rapid fired questions at Xander, now turning to look behind her at the metal behemoth while taking a chance to wipe the water off her face with the sheet of the bed.

"Um, well… How about this? How would you like exclusive video that will tell you all your answers and probably be the story of the year in Gotham?" Xander questioned, smirking inside his helmet as he saw Vicki's eyes seem to light up.

Vicki Vale bit her lip as she thought for a moment, and then the attractive blonde reporter looked Xander in face and said, "Yes, on two conditions. Get me home first and tell me who you are." She said with a smile.

Xander chuckled, "I'm the one keeping you here and the only way out, and you give me demands?" He questioned, but you could hear the humor in his voice. "Fine, I'm used to dealing with demanding attractive blondes." This statement caused Vicki to blush a bit.

"I'll give you the video footage when we step through into Gotham and as for who I am, I'm the Grey Knight." Xander stated as he stepped forward and offered his hand to help Vicki off of the medical bed.

Vicki slid off the bed easily, and slipped on her shoes that she had been wearing when she was kidnapped, and were now pair under the edge of the bed. She noted that she was still in the clothing she had been wearing when captured and subsequently rescued, but that she smelled like she was clean.

"Come, let's go to Gotham." Xander's voice stated, once again sounding deep and menacing as his voice modulator changed.

With that, a blue portal opened and both figures stepped through hand in hand.

* * *

The Gotham Cemetery was swarming with living people, which was uncommon for place where normally the dead rested. Not only where there journalists, photographers, and camera men swarming the entrance, but the police force was there en masse as well.

Yellow police area tape cordoned off the gates to the historic Gotham Cemetery, and teams of containment suit wearing county officials and Hazmat members were working in the cemetery, but the Gotham City Police Department was out in force. Even the horse mounted police were there to cordon off the cemetery where a squad of SWAT members had gone missing a week prior.

The reporters were barraging questions at stoic faced police officers, shouting questions from behind the hastily erected tape and hurricane fencing barricade while a stream of individuals in hazmat gear carried or pushed containers of something out of a hole that stood in the middle of the cemetery.

"Is it true that those containers contain human remains?" One reporter shouted as he scribbled notes on his pad of paper.

"No comment." A police officer responded.

"What about allegations that Batman was responsible for the disappearances of the Lost Ones?" A lady with a microphone yelled in question.

"Again, no comment." The officer answered.

"What about..." A third started to yell out a question when his question was interrupted by the snap and hiss of blue energy forming into existence and opening into a portal in the middle of the restricted area behind the barricade.

Officers swung around and pointed guns at the unknown energy portal, and the Hazmat team members dived for cover behind grave stones.

The aim of the officers became a bit shaky as a huge metallic figure with the semblance of the Grim Reaper in armor stepped out of the portal and faced the audience before him. He was followed by a petite attractive blonde out of the portal before it snapped shut.

The crowd screamed and started to back away in fear as an officer yelled for the figure to 'Freeze!'

"Hold!" Xander shouted, and his speaker system magnified his voice so that everybody in the back of the crowd could easily hear him. He pushed Vicki Vale behind him so that he could shield her from any bullets that might be fired at him by the shaken police officers.

"Hold I say!" His deep voice boomed. "I'm not here to harm you. It was I who notified the press that there would be a conference here at this time." Xander continued.

The police officers continued to point their guns at Xander, though Xander noticed that several of them were shaking as they tried to draw a bead on him.

Glaring down at the police officers, Xander repeated himself, "I said I'm not here to harm you, so point those guns elsewhere or a ricochet will hurt somebody. Frankly, if I wanted to kill you, you would be dead already. Besides, those puny weapons couldn't hurt me even if you did fire them." Xander stated, not necessarily inspiring the crowd to have confidence in him, but at least getting the police officers to stop pointing their weapons at him.

Stepping forwards toward the barricade where the reporters were, Xander noticed the crowd shrink back, yet the reporters resolutely continued to film or speak into microphones describing the situation.

"I've come here to inform you of what happened in the Cemetery two nights ago. Two nights ago, the hidden siege of Gotham City by the undead was lifted." Xander stated, his gaze panning across the people, their eyes strayed away from him whenever his eyes focused down on them.

"Wha, wha, what do you mean siege of undead?" the female reporter, who had been yelling questions at the police officer earlier, hesitantly asked Xander.

"The Lost Ones, as your news had dubbed them, are dead. They were dead the night they went missing I am afraid, as they were possessed and turned into Vampires. The vampires were a swarm of undead that threatened to destroy the entire city." Xander stated.

This statement shocked the people, and the crowd began to mutter; Xander's increased senses and auditory sensors picked up on the whispering statements of disbelief.

"It is true. I am the Grey Knight. Two nights ago my men and I traveled to this dimension and fought and slayed over five thousand vampires and the master vampire known as Dracula. That yonder hole is filled with the dust of the slain. I came to this dimension in my battle to destroy demon spawn wherever they may exist. For proof I will be giving Vicki Vale, whom I and my men rescued when doing battle in that hole over there, a video recording of portions of the battle." Xander announced in his 'Darth Vader' voice while turning towards Vicki and handing her a disc that popped out of a slot on Xander's hip; the slot then seeming to disappear and meld back into the metal around it.

Vicki smiled triumphantly at the other reporters, who were now getting past their original fear of Xander and were throwing questions at her.

Xander held his hand up to still the questions, and waited for silence to fall before speaking again, "I want it known that Batman was not involved in the disappearance of the Lost Ones and that he was seeking to find them when we slayed the demonic forces that had housed themselves within the bodies of the people they killed. To the families of the Lost One's I send my condolences, as the destruction of the vampires leaves only dust. Alas, there will be no bodies returned to your families." Xander stated solemnly.

The crowd was taken aback at the news that the hundreds of known disappeared ones were not coming back and it was overwhelming to think that over five thousand people were dead. Unfortunately the solemn silent moment was interrupted by the sound of jet engines as a Justice League Javelin hovered down over the crowd and Batman jumped out; followed by Wonder Woman and Superman who swept out of the sky on his own power.

The crowd parted and the reporters continued to film as Batman made his way towards Xander's position, pushing a police officer out of the way when the officer tried to stop Batman from crossing the barricade.

Looking up at Xander with a scowl plastered across his face, Batman growled, "I could have saved them you bastard, you didn't know for sure they couldn't be saved." Batman stated while pointing standing before Xander.

Xander was frustrated as the HUD on his clock said he didn't have much more time to get this done with before he needed to be back in Romania. So maybe that explains why he snapped back at Batman.

"There is no way one man could have defeated the thousands that were down there, let alone defeated and brought them back to life. Don't be a 'Dick' Batman. Oh, I'm sorry, somebody else you know is referred to as a 'Dick'. I do know, and I refuse to rehash what has already been done." Xander stated, putting emphasis on the word Dick and inferring that Xander knew about the identity of Bruce Wayne's heir as well as other things; a potential threat to get Batman to back down.

Batman growled and tensed to attack Xander, only to be pulled back by Wonder Woman who had reached Batman's side.

"Hold Batman, What do you mean 'you know' Grey Knight?" Wonder Woman asked as she appraised the armored figure before her in a tactical manner, yet with no sign that she too wanted to attack.

"I know that when a vampire takes its host that all that is left is a soulless body inhabited by a demon. I know this the same way I know you Princess and I know your people. I know how you were formed and about your childhood, and I know your future; you should tell your mother to not be so obstinate about the assistance of Men. I know that we are not all Hercules and if she doesn't change her mind then her people are going to be in trouble when the gates below your island threaten to open." Xander pointedly stated, noticing the Princess's jaw tense and her grip tighten on Batman's shoulder as Xander's words cut her deeply. The Grey Knight was casually referring to secrets that weren't often shared and shouldn't be known outside of the Amazon people.

"So you admit that you are a man then? How can you know this?" She demanded, stepping in front of Bruce and right up to Xander's chest, looking right up at him.

Xander cursed mentally for letting it slip that he could possibly be a man. He needed to keep his identity absolutely secret if he wanted to succeed with all of his plans.

Looking down at her and saying the first thing that came to his mind, Xander replied, "I am merely the Grey Knight, demon slayer. That is all you need to know. I know what I know, because I know." Xander cringed at the last part of his statement. Fortunately the Darth Vader voice covered up for his imbecilic rambling and made it sound more 'wise' than 'idiot inserting both feet into his mouth' as Xander noticed several members of the audience and reporters nod their heads like he was stating great philosophic truths.

Smiling to himself, Xander continued before the three heroes or many reporters could ask him more questions.

"I'm not your enemy Princess, nor yours Batman and Superman. It is ultimately your choice to make as I will not be picking a fight with you, just as I didn't restrain Batman until he attacked me first." Xander stated, looking at the three heroes and stopping to focus on Superman and smile inside his helmet. "I could be your friend for all you know. For instance, Superman, you should get your father's heart looked at, and Batman, protect those contingency plans better, or Ghul will get them and use them against you and your friends." Xander stated, finishing to look at Wonder Woman. "And you Diana. I would ask your mother that she not attack me if I come to your island, but know that I will do so only in defense of the world or your island if they are threatened by the forces of Hell." Xander completed.

These statements struck at the hearts of the heroes as they realized that this being, this Grey Knight, really did know about them and their deepest darkest secrets. Before they could ask him any further questions, however, a snap and hiss of energy sounded and a blue portal opened up over the Grey Knight's head and quickly snapped to the ground; leaving the space he had been standing in empty.

The crowd was silent for a second, and then sprung to life in a cacophony of questions being hurled at the heroes regarding what the Grey Knight had stated. Others were yelling at Vicki Vale to share her secrets or at the police to allow them access to the tunnel to see the battle site. The police were yelling at the crowd to back up and stating 'No Comment.' The heroes were left to depart quickly before they were barraged with too many questions of their own.

All in all, the Grey Knight had answered many questions, but he had in turn left even more behind unanswered.

* * *

**AN: Another chapter down. An author friend pen-named Tenhawk had asked me to stop using the JL heroes as only straight men for the jokes in this story, which was fitting as I was a good 4/5ths of the way done with this chapter and had already been planning on just that when I received his email. Now that Xander is somewhat out in the open we will be seeing him interacting with the world of super heroes/villains and public more often whether he wants it or not. Additionally, if you actually read the powers and abilities that Xander has gained, there are still villains out there that could totally destroy Xander with as much ease as you or I stomp on an ant. That said, don't worry about this becoming a Gary Stu. This isn't to say that Xander won't still ****attempt**** to become stronger, but I'm not going to say any more as I hate doing spoilers before I actually write something out. Cheers.**


	15. Chapter 15: Hobbes Leviathan

A Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes.

**AN1: Still enjoying writing this, and still have a lot of little plot bunnies that I want to work into this story so we have a long way to go before I find any sort of an ending. Thanks for all the reviews and messages with your thoughts, praise, constructive criticism and ideas for new things; though I probably won't use the exact ideas that you give me.**

**AN2: I dislike giving spoilers and I hate to spell things out about the plot in Authors notes. That said it's called an alter ego people. Superman doesn't act like Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne does not act like Batman, and Xander doesn't speak or act like the Grey Knight or any of his other alter egos. When I stated that Xander is trying to keep his identity secret, I mean secret; it's not 'acting out of character' when he is dressed as the Grey Knight and lying like crazy in the face of pissed off heroes.**

**AN3: If you send me a private message, make sure you allow me to reply to you please; it's annoying when you have private messages turned off but still insist on private messaging me.**

* * *

'_Thought'_

"Speech"

**Chapter 15: Hobbes Leviathan**

"Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum"  
Translation: "Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe."

Totalitarian regimes come in many forms, just as governments of different philosophies and cultures come in many forms. However one of the things that remain the same for all governments is that they rule through at least some form of readily accessible force. Now Democracies and Republics are supposedly 'ruled by the people,' and Communist and Socialist governments are supposedly ruled 'for the people.' But no matter the form, there is usually some form of established police force, army or constabulary that is there to not only 'protect the people' but also to protect the government itself and keep the government from being overthrown or falling into anarchy. With this said, government guards are usually stationed at access points, doorways, thresholds or barriers to movement. When you have the ability to open a portal anywhere you want on planet earth in a blink of an eye, it doesn't matter how many guards there are at the threshold or how many weapons a country's army has to protect it. You just cut the proverbial head off the snake and watch the body flop around as you do with it what you want.

Nicolae Ceauşescu didn't even have time to turn around when he heard a snap and hiss sound behind him. Before the dictator could move, a plasma blast flew through the portal behind his dining room chair and disintegrated the dictator's head. The guards that rushed into the room at the sound of the rush of the exploding head and gout of fire were handled more humanely as they were systematically shrunk and packed into mayonnaise jars, with holes in the lids, by the forces that ported into the dining room and into the other rooms of the buildings that sat around Piata Palatului, Palace Square, in central Bucharest. Into the dining room stepped a figure in a dark black and light absorbing dress suit of an Armani style, a white dress shirt, blood red tie and a solid black featureless helmet that also seemed to absorb the light everywhere except for a large white question mark that had been painted across the middle of the face. The man wore matching black gloves that disappeared into the sleeves of the suit and he carried a briefcase in one hand. Two heavily armed black armored figures, that stood at close to seven feet tall, bracketed him on both sides as they stepped out of the portal behind the former 'president' of Romania and next to the future ruler. These two black armored troopers and the center imposing figure in his suit represented the largest grouping of invaders, as throughout the rest of the government buildings single troopers attacked out of portals, spreading chaos through the governmental structure.

The Jägerkin troops had been outfitted with solid black armor with polished facemasks that showed no features, all Heterodyne symbolism or skulls had been sealed over with ample application of quantities of nanoclanks. Though the portion of the armor that was made out of a sea of miniaturized clanks wasn't as strong as metallo or Nth Metal, it was more than adequate to stand up to the rounds of assault rifles, rocket propelled grenades or hand tossed explosives that the presidential guards, secret police, and army soldiers attacked the forces with. The Jägers were like self contained walking armies compared to the normal human soldiers they faced in their invasion.

The dining room was secure and Xander's HUD inside his mirrored black helmet was telling him that most of the building he was currently in was under his control with sporadic boughts of gunfire exchange. The situation was the same for the majority of the other government buildings that sat on the square and surrounding areas.

Xander walked up to the headless body of Ceauşescu and pushed it out of the chair and then sat down in the chair and put his briefcase down in front of him. Though the chair and table were covered in gore and splattered grey matter, the suit and briefcase seemed to repel any material that might have wanted to stick to them.

"One big bad down, one country to subjugate and reform still to go." Xander stated into his helmet and his computerized screen saw that second stage plans started to go into operation as soon as he announced that Ceauşescu was dead. All of Xander's readily available forces and robots/clanks were fully engaged in the operation, it was time for Xander to get the gear out of his briefcase and get the next part of his mission completed.

As Xander's body went through the motions to unlock the hidden latches on his briefcase, his mind went over everything that was needed for the attack and triple checked to make sure it was ready. Thinking back, Xander had used the hours in between the news brief and the attack to the fullest. Xander had been busy giving orders and directing manufacturing efforts even while he had been in the midst of taking off his armor and trying to get his brain to switch personas; as the Grey Knight costume was another one of his alter egos, just as this new 'Leviathan' persona would be one as well. It was all part of the crazy inner workings of his new mad genius brain, helped along by the myriad of little voices in the back of his head. It just happened that the multiple voices in his head helped him to pull off characters and changes of personality that would help shield him from exposure; kind of like Clark Kent the mild mannered reporter really being the brave and outgoing Superman or Batman's playboy image when he walked around as Bruce Wayne.

As far as the preparation for the invasion went, everything had gone swimmingly. Using large moving portals to excavate portions of the mountains behind the castle and transport the mined material to be processed, Xander's people had carved out huge cavernous spaces that had been quickly shorn up with concrete and steel. These caverns would be the launching grounds for his attack, as well as room for a new giant transit center to be built. While this was going on, the defensive pylons that Xander had been building to go around the valley surrounding New Mechanicsburg had been updated and mass produced, and the little clanks had been mining under the mountains of his valley in order to acquire the materials to mass replicate. Everything seemed to go well thus far, and neither Murphy nor Lady Luck had reared their angry heads as was usual for Xander's life.

Yes, the coup d'état was going swimmingly for Xander, right up until the telepathic meta-human pushed opened the door behind Xander's seat, and Xander and his Jägers found themselves unable to move as their muscles refused to respond to their mental commands.

Xander panicked inside of his mind as this new spanner in the works caused him to feel suddenly helpless.

"Vhy Tank you for taking care of Ceauşescu for me comrade. I couldn't have done it better myself." The telepathic meta-human said with a Russian accent as he walked around the table to where Xander could now see him.

The telepath was wearing a brown and red soviet style military uniform, but had a bald head with a metal contraption stuck to the back of it; tubes disappeared off of the metal band on the meta's head, tubes that disappeared down the back of the figure's uniform. The telepath's complexion was pasty white and sunken grey eyes stared down at Xander's seated figure with a smirk.

"My name is Yuri, and I have been zey power behind zey throne long enough." The telepath stated with a sneer as he walked past the body of Ceauşescu and spat on it.

"It is a shame zat I vas unable to stop you from killing Ceauşescu, but alas I vas able to kill you and your guards quickly afterwards, enabling me to take zey reins of power and bring order once again to Romania." Yuri stated sarcastically, clutching his hands to his chest and batting his eyes as if to mockingly show that he was innocent in allowing Ceauşescu to be killed.

Xander was freaking out inside his head, only he couldn't consciously do anything with his body. Xander was totally helpless at the hands of this crazy telepath that Xander had never heard of in any of the comic books.

"I'm not stupid enough to come over zere and try to take off your helmet, so ve vill just have to put you to sleep and zen I can use your execution to cement my control of the country." Yuri stated.

Xander saw on his HUD that several of his soldiers were trying to hurry to his position in response to the silent alarm that his helmet was issuing, but unfortunately the troopers were tied up at the moment getting through the guards at their assigned stations.

Worse, the situation with the telepath Yuri had come out of left field so quickly that they wouldn't be able to get to Xander in time.

"Say good night Zander." Yuri sneered, and like that, Xander's head dropped to his chest in unconsciousness.

"Excellent!" Yuri lisped in glee as he walked towards Xander's limp form and the two black armored statues standing next to Xander.

"All will eventually bow to the power of my mind," Yuri snarled as he stood next to Xander and reached for the briefcase.

Xander's hand shot up off the table and crushed Yuri's hand that was reaching for the briefcase, the bones cracking caused Yuri to scream out in pain and fall to his knees in agony.

Xander's head slowly rose to look at the kneeling Yuri, and a low growling sound came from deep within Xander's chest.

"GRRRRRrrrr ha ha ha ha ha." Xander's growl turned into a laugh of pure evil as his other hand shot out to grab Yuri by the throat. Xander stood up out of the chair, holding Yuri's crushed wrist in one hand, and the telepath's throat in the other; lifting the telepath off the ground as Xander stood.

"H-h-how? How are you doing this, you should be unconscious?" Yuri gasped and choked out, his face starting to turn red and eyes bugging out as he tried to use his free hand to pry Xander's chokehold loose.

"He he he. Well Bub, let's just say that Xander isn't home now and the party is going to be a whole lot more fun now that I've arrived." A primal and animalistic voice growled from out of the helmet, the smile on Xander's face behind the helmet turning evil.

These were the last words that Yuri would ever hear as Xander released the hold he had crushing Yuri's hand and used his now free hand to grab Yuri's face by the jaw and forehead and violently tear Yuri's head from its place on Yuri's body.

Blood spurted up into the air as Xander, or the Primal Xander in this case, dropped the headless body and examined the skull of the wide eyed head of Yuri.

"Alas poor Yuri, I knew him well." Xander's gruff voice stated with a humorous tone.

The Jägers that were with Xander came out of their statue like poses and one moved to shut and secure the door behind them while the second dragged Yuri's body away from the table and threw it next to Ceauşescu's corpse which was also propped against the wall.

Xander took the head of Yuri to his briefcase and popped the locks of the thin case and dropped the head inside; the head disappearing into the briefcase, suggesting that the case had more volume inside it than the outside could possibly contain.

"Waste not, want not." Xander growled as he pushed his arm deep into the depths of the briefcase, up to the shoulder before pulling out a long cylindrical rocket body that was a foot across in diameter.

Using both hands to pull, and pull, and pull the rocket body out of the brief case, the six foot tall missile finally cleared the briefcase and Xander hoisted it onto his shoulder as easily as a mother picked up a baby.

"Jarvis, announcement to all forces." Xander's gravelly voice commanded, "Change of plans gang, not going to be a bloodless coup anymore like I had originally stated. Kill all resisting forces and we will pick up the pieces later." Xander ordered with an evil smile on his face, his eyes glowing green for a second.

"Jarvis, have Transit Central send through the packages to the borders and bases immediately, I feel like hunting in my own private reserve. The Alpha is in control of the situation tonight!" Xander ordered, and smiled darkly as he closed up the briefcase with his free hand and carried it and the missile out of the room. The two Jägers disappearing into portals to assist in the invasion of Romania.

* * *

Across the entire width and breadth of the country of Romania, attacks were taking place. At two main army bases, semi trucks rolled up to the security gates and waited their turn to approach the guard booths. The situation would have been humorous if it wasn't so deadly, as at both gates the Guards stepped up to look into the open side windows of the truck and exclaimed in Romanian, "There's nobody in there," right before the trucks transformed into giant robots that began to slaughter the guards. The trailers of the trucks opened up at the seams and disgorged units of terminator and defensive robots that went on to cut their way into the bases.

That wasn't the only attack on the military of Romania, as little clank sized portals opened up at Romania's air bases, and the clanks then proceeded to be spotters for Xander's transit center. As soon as the little clanks arrived on top of or inside the hangers of the airbases, portals snapped open and closed quickly across the entire airfield, precisely severing landing gears from the bottoms of every fighter, bomber or supply aircraft in the Romanian air force; they even sheared through the propellers of the helicopters. While this was going on, Starscream and his brother craft that Xander had created blazed in from out of the stratosphere and shot down any military craft airborne at the time, and then proceeded to force all commercial aircraft in the skies over Romania to land at the country's airfields.

The scene was similar but different at the army bases, as portals disgorged swarms of flying metal clanks that jetted towards barracks or machinery. These clanks, adaptations of the Batclank that Xander had used to hijack the Amazo corpse, had two purposes: Steal the tanks, scud missile systems and heavy machinery, or; Detonate themselves against the fuel tanks, weapon depots, or the doors of the barracks sealing them shut. With the senior officers on the bases though, the little clanks turned into Kamikazes and detonated themselves against any senior officer that they came across.

The attack was as devastating as it was fast. Blitzkrieg had nothing on this attack, as rather than an armored push through the front door, Xander's forces didn't even bother being polite and using a door. Xander's forces were already in the military's proverbial bedroom before the military could pull up their pants.

Xander hadn't forgotten to deal with the secret police and the KGB and GUB like intelligence forces that had helped Ceauşescu keep power. Throughout the known buildings run by the intelligence services, clanks carrying containers filled with ANFO, ammonium nitrate/fuel oil, appeared under desks and in other nooks and crannies throughout the building. These clanks posted the charges and then began to attack the humans working in the intelligence centers. Rather than a Lilliputian battle of little clanks against large humans, the little clanks had been equipped with equalizers, aka shrink rays. Thus it was the humans found themselves fighting clanks that seemed to be at least 2 feet taller than them after the humans had been struck by some sort of ray. After defeating the humans in melee combat and foisting the remains back through portals to a retention center, the little clanks then proceeded to initiate the opening of portals that stole all of the filing cabinets, desks, computers, and safes throughout the building; individuals found being held in the prisons or torture facilities beneath the buildings were transported out to receive medical aid. The buildings were ransacked of all data, the intelligence forces were decimated, and the prisoners rescued; the clanks then ported out of the buildings while triggering the explosives to go off after then left, leveling the buildings behind them. This pattern would continue at other secret intelligence bases and buildings as the information stolen led Xander's forces to find all of the Romanian safe houses and intelligence secrets.

Now normally an attack of this size on an unready country would cause a reaction from the Justice League, as though Romania was led by a dictator, that government was still recognized as the 'legitimate' government of the country by the United Nations. Xander had known that he couldn't let the Justice League interfere, not only because it would wreck what he was trying to do, but it would also allow his identity to possibly leak to the world along with him coming into direct confrontation with a swarm of heroes that Xander couldn't hope to defeat at the moment. Thus while the battles were going on, twenty foot tall poles, with prismatic crystals on top appeared in the ground along the borders of the country, ported in from the transit center in the US and evenly spaced every five miles along the 1558 mile border. As soon as the poles appeared and mechanically imbedded themselves in the ground, the tops of the polls telescoped up, one hundred feet in the air, before deploying a crystalline satellite dish that looked like a mix between a crystal chandelier and a kitchen sieve. Now it was just up to Xander and his missile.

* * *

Deep within the monitor womb of the Watchtower space station, red lights flared on the monitors keeping track of Eastern Europe. Quickly flipping buttons, J'onn the Martian Manhunter, focused multiple screens on a view of the Balkan territories. Normally difficulties in that region of Europe were focused around the war torn country of Kasnia. This time the static filled and cut off distress calls came from Romania on the northern border of Kasnia.

Quickly pressing buttons, J'onn tried to figure out what the situation in Romania was. The translation program on the consol turned the Romanian language into easier understood English but wasn't able to clear out all of the static in the radio messages.

"Psssttt We're under attack! Psssst Robots psssst They're everywhere! Psssstttt Oh no, they're coming in the door! Ahhhhh!" One message translated before the sounds of shearing metal and human screams filled the transmission before cutting off with a high pitched squeal as the radio gave up the ghost.

Another translated message was apparently a sat. phone relay from a government office to the Romanian embassy's at large, "This is the Romanian Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Unknown forces have stormed every governmental building and are taking over the country. To whichever embassy receives this, plead for whatever aid you can receive from your host governments and notify the United Nations that we are under attack. Repeat, we are under attack by unknown, oh dear God, no, no! Don't come any closer! Ahhhhhh!" The message cut off as there was a zapping sound in the background followed by the sound of the receiver hitting the floor. A series of tiny patterning metal clacking sounds were heard before the phone was disconnected.

"Attention Justice League. We have a country wide crisis in Eastern Europe with unknown forces invading the country of Romania. To all free Justice League heroes we are in need of assistance in Eastern Europe to stop a possible invasion." J'onn announced as he activated the speaker system in the Watchtower and the communications systems.

A klaxon sounded and one of the images on the screens regarding the Romanian situation focused in on the capital of Romania, Budapest, and showed a missile launch. Smoke and fire trailed behind the missile as it was seen to clear the rooftops of the capital and fly high into the sky on a trajectory towards the exact middle part of the country.

"Superman, we are in need of your speed to intercept a missile on an unknown trajectory above Romania." J'onn stated into his communicator as he watched the missile climb.

One mile high, two miles, five miles high the missile flew.

Right before the missile hit the ten mile altitude mark, Superman replied, "Affirmative J'onn, I'm on my way and should intercept it before it can clear the atmosphere."

Unfortunately for the Superman and the Justice League, the ten mile altitude mark happened to be the missile's target.

Watching on the screen, the body of the missile sheared off and fell away, launching a warhead that pealed apart to show a glowing red jewel of some sort mounted on the top of an gizmo with multiple long tubes and crystalline arrays.

The warhead hit the ten mile mark and abruptly stopped accelerating upwards, coming to a complete standstill and hovering over the country. There was a tremendous flash of red light that blanketed all of the screens on the monitor womb and which was visible from space with the naked eye.

Blinded for a second, J'onn rubbed his eyes and watched as the optical sensors from the Watch Tower briefly rebooted and focused again on where the country of Romania was supposed to be located.

'Supposed to be' being the important words, for the country of Romania was simply gone.

Where once mountains, streams, hills, valleys and even continuous roads and railroad tracks met the borders of other countries, the country of Romania was now a ten mile deep hole cut straight into the earth's crust. Magma and hot blasts of superheated water were seen to shoot up from the bottom of the hole.

J'onn was stunned, but being the stoic Martian that he was he quickly snapped out of it and began issuing orders to multiple Justice League heroes to help stop the multiple trains and automobiles that were threatening to crash and fall into the newly formed country sized crevasse in eastern Europe.

It was going to be a busy day for the Martian Manhunter and the rest of the Justice League.

* * *

A black suited and masked Xander stood smirking up at the contrail of the missile he had just launched. He was situated on a roof of a soviet era apartment building with a good view of the missile's path. The optical sensors on his helmet zoomed in to enable him to watch as the warhead deployed and the Nth Metal in the device stopped the warhead to hover over the center of the country. The red multi-cut gem embedded on the top of the warhead seemed to glow ominously before emitting a solid stream blast of crimson refracted inverted teleportation energy across the width and breadth of the country. It happened in an instant, but to Xander he could see every part of his mechanism fire as the red sheet of energy impacted the poles that had been planted around the boarders and created a solid wall of red energy that spread between the one hundred foot poles as well as cut deep into the earth after being diffused through the poles' crystalline arrays.

The sky and earth glowed with a solid red light that made the sky look like blood as the country of Romania was taken out of phase with the world around it, but not transported to a new position. If Xander's calculations were correct, the energy in the warhead would last eight days before Romania once again joined its place with the rest of the world. That was eight days with which to take over and build the country of Romania into his new domain. If Xander's calculations were incorrect, then there was a possibility that they would disintegrate upon return to the proper phase, but he had figured that you can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs; such is the way with mad genius.

Xander gave a dark primal smile and stepped off the edge of the roof to plummet twenty stories to the street below.

Xander landed straight legged to the sound of a tremendous crack as the concrete street exploded on impact and dust obscured the view of the black suited figure for a moment. The people on the street, who had rushed outside to see what was making the sky turn red, scattered screaming as the bomb like explosion caused people to cower or run depending on their individual instincts.

As the dust cleared the black masked figure was seen to fix his blood red tie; the powdered concrete that had flown through the air seeming to refuse to stick to the figure's midnight black suit.

Xander smirked to himself, '_It's good to be bad_.' He thought to himself, realizing that his thoughts were a little corny but not giving a shit.

Taking a deep breath, Xander smiled to himself as he stepped out of the shallow crater that was formed by his fall, and started to walk down the street, glancing from side to side at the people who cowered back from his visage. Men pushed their families behind them, people closed and locked their shutters, and an old woman clutched her rosary beads and was mumbling prayers under her breathe as she stared at Xander with wide scared eyes.

Xander just smirked back at the look of fear, but his attention was quickly diverted as a police car slid around the corner of the street up ahead of him and came tearing towards him. Xander merely stood in the middle of the street, smirking at the oncoming police car as it came to a skidding sideways stop twenty feet in front of him and disgorged two police officers who jumped out in front of the car and pointed guns at him.

"Stop and put your hands up!" The officers yelled at Xander in Romanian, which was perfectly translated to him through the use of the program in his helmet that was translating the message right to the nano-clanks in Xander's head.

Xander smirked and his eyes flashed green under his mask as he walked nonchalantly towards the two police officers.

"Stop! Stop or we'll shoot!" The officers shouted, guns now shaking a bit.

Xander merely continued to walk towards them, sliding his gloved hands into his pockets.

Both officers opened up on him, firing once at his chest, but then firing all of the rounds in their guns as Xander continued to move towards them unaffected.

The sounds of the officers' gunshots was accompanied by 'plopping' sounds as Xander's suit seemed to ripple like a pond struck by pebbles. The bullets disappearing as they were absorbed into the midnight black suit as the cloth, which was really a sea of nano-clanks, absorbed the force of the impact and destroyed and absorbed the metal of the bullets before they could penetrate through into Xander's flesh.

Xander stopped a foot in front of the two frightened officers, who were still clicking the triggers on their guns which were now out of bullets.

"My turn." Xander growled. The sound and voice coming out of his helmet was in Romanian, before lashing out with both hands and grabbing the officers by the fronts of their uniform jackets.

Xander used his incredible combination of primal and technological strength to lift both officers off the ground and then launch them backwards through the windshield of their police car.

The officers' heads crashed through the glass, knocking out both of the officers as well as leaving them bleeding and laying tangled in the back seat of their cruiser.

Xander merely smirked and brushed nonexistent dust off the sleeve of his suit, but a cry of fear to his right drew his attention.

Looking to the right, he noticed a short cute brunette huddled in the doorway of a building, obviously locked out if the ineffective jerking on the door's handle seemed to indicate anything. The girl was crying and whimpering as she tried to get away from the gunfire and the man who had possibly just killed the police officers.

Her jerking on the door handle was interrupted by a black gloved hand that grabbed her wrist, and another that lightly but insistently pulled her chin around to face the mirrored surface of a black mask with a question mark emblazoned on it.

"Why hello there gorgeous." A gravelly voice issued out from the black helmet, speaking Romanian. Then a big long sniffing sound was heard, as if the figure under the helmet was inhaling deeply.

"Mmmmm, you smell good honey, good enough to eat or have some fun with." The suit wearing figure said as he pulled the shaking girl into his arms. "How about I take you back to my place." Xander said, sneering inside of his helmet as he wrapped his arms around the now struggling girl.

Before the girl could answer or Xander could do anything more than hug the girl to him, two things happened. First, a preprogrammed subroutine in the nano-clanks in Xander's body began to run triggered due to Xander's anomalous behavior with the girl. Second, a radio emergency broadcast came over Xander's communications system in his helmet.

"This is Optimus, I am experiencing greater than expected resistance at the main army headquarters and am requesting assistance from Xander prime." Optimus stated over the radio.

Xander growled and cursed before looking down at the girl still futilely trying to struggle out of his grasp. "What's the fucking problem Optimus? I was about to entertain a lady here." Xander swore over the radio. "You better have lost an arm or something or I'm going to tear one of yours off."

"Xander prime, I have in fact lost an arm, and a leg." Optimus answered in his unemotional robotic voice.

"Shit!" Xander cursed, " Sorry honey, we'll have to pick this up later." He answered as he dropped the struggling girl and immediately took to the sky, flying straight up to hover over the city.

"What's the damn problem Optimus? This better be fucking good." Xander again cursed, the primal spirit version of Xander having a potty mouth compared to Xander's normal vocabulary.

"The clanks assigned to the invasion of the main base are facing stiff resistance from the meta population of the Romanian secret police. I am down due to removal of my limbs by a super strong individual and Optimus two is malfunctioning due to heavy arms weapons fire. Terminator and defensive clanks are fully engaged and unable to advance on the super strong meta and one who engulfs our miniature clanks as if his body was made of some rubbery substance." Optimus reported. The message was followed by an explosion in the background.

"Optimus, what was that explosion? Optimus? Answer me damn it!" Xander first questioned and then demanded when he received no answer. Spouting off a stream of curse words with as much skill as a seasoned sailor, Xander took off flying towards Optimus's last known location.

Faster than a speeding bullet, Xander enjoyed the stolen powers from Superman utilized through Nth Metal infused nano-clanks as he flew across the breath of the country in an instant. Landing next to what his sensors told him was the twisted remains of Optimus prime covered by a grey tarp, Xander lifted the tarp to look under it at Optimus.

The figure of Optimus looked like it had been crushed by the tarp and there were crumple marks on the external thin metal armor that made up the shell of the truck when it transformed into its truck shape.

"Damn Optimus, what the hell happened to you?" Xander cursed out loud as he examined the deformed shape of his transformer.

"I happened!" A voice said in English as the tarp whipped out of Xander's hand and wrapped around Xander's torso to pin his arms and legs together and started to crush him; a grey face formed out of the grey material and stretch to be in front of Xander's helmet and smirk at him.

Xander smirked under his helmet, "Who are you supposed to be bub, some sort of knock off on plastic man?"

"No mate, nothing so quaint. They just call me Crusher." The grey head said to Xander in British accented English while trying to squeeze Xander to a pulp.

"Really?" Xander growled, "Well I call you confetti."

With that black spikes exploded from all over Xander's suit slicing through the grey meta's tarp like constricting flesh like an industrial cutting laser through a wet paper towel. The spikes extended out a foot from Xander's body in all directions.

The meta human wrapped around Xander had a moment to scream before the spikes skewering him each split into four thinner spikes and quickly separated and flailed about like tentacles, ripping 'Crusher' into confetti.

The screech of a human screaming in ultimate pain quickly cut off as one of the tentacle like spikes mercifully wrapped around the grey head of 'Crusher' and sliced it off.

Xander sneered down at the head that was lying on the ground at his feet as the head and particles of shredded grey flesh reverting to a pink human skin tone dripping with blood and frozen in a mask of agony in death. Picking the head up, Xander slid it into a pocket of his suit that stretched out to make an opening large enough for the head before again shrinking back to its tailored form.

The sound of gunfire and the explosion of shells drew Xander's attention to the other side of the base. Using a combination of The Flash's and Superman's speed, Xander sprinted across the base in a blur just in time to intercept a flying anti-armor tank round fired out of a Russian made battle tank at one of Xander's terminator clanks. Grabbing the round out of the air Xander used the momentum of the round to pivot in a circle and straight arm fling the round back down range and right down the barrel of the attacking tank.

Xander didn't have the time to admire the sight of turret of the tank jumping into the air as the flung round struck the ammunition already prepped in the barrel and caused the tank to explode in a gout of fire.

"Number 5 can fly!" came the voice of one of his defensive bots, causing Xander to duck as the metal tracked robot flew past where Xander's head had just been.

Xander ignored the flight trajectory of the high pitch voiced robot as he turned to his left and saw a hulking seven foot tall man with bulging muscles, black military t-shirt, and camouflage pants charge after the flying robot and right at Xander.

Xander growled and reared back his fist as he charged the figure, the whole time machinegun rounds were kicking up the cement at Xander's feet and disappearing in ripples into his suit, fired from a machinegun nest situated in a guard tower a hundred yards away.

"Grrrr- AARRGGH!" Xander growled, and then gave an animalistic yell as his fist collided with the fist of the muscle bound meta-human.

The resulting 'Boom' and shockwave from the two fists colliding knocked back several soldiers that had piled out of an administrative building, leaving them falling on their asses as Xander's flight skill combined with his super speed and strength to also blast the super strong meta-human backwards.

"You may be strong, but I'm the alpha here." Xander growled out in Romanian before charging the meta-human hulk and rapid firing blows at the meta's head using all of Xander's super speed.

The meta used his bulging muscled arms to protect his head as he grunted under the blows and kicked himself up to his knees and before the meta wrapped his arms around Xander's body and tried to squeeze Xander in a bear hug.

"Me smash you little man." The meta grumbled in a low deep voice with Russian accented Romanian, the veins popping out on his face as he struggled to squeeze Xander to a pulp.

Xander nonchalantly answered, "You're not a smart one are you, Crusher already tried this." Xander snidely replied before smashing the bridge of his helmet into the face and nose of the huge meta-human that was trying to pick Xander off the ground and squeeze him to death.

The dull crunching sound of the meta's nose made the strongman's eyes cross as Xander repeatedly smashed his helmet into the large man's face; if at first you don't succeed, smash, smash again.

Finally after the fourth blow the meta-human's grasp on Xander relaxed as the man's eyes rolled up into the back of his head, the blood rolling down his face from a thoroughly broken nose, and the meta-human fell to the ground unconscious, releasing Xander before the meta fully collapsed.

Inside Xander's mind, he snarled under the control of the primal alpha's control and claws extended out of the sleeve of his suit to cover his fingers and extend out over his fingers. Rearing back to gut the unconscious and now totally helpless meta-human, the subroutine in Xander's head clicked over due to the second anomalous behavior noted and went on high alert, still, it didn't stop the meta-human from losing his lunch; along with the stomach, kidneys, and intestines that went along with it as Xander's clawed hand disemboweled the former strong man.

A rocket propelled grenade interrupted Xander doing a slasher-fest imitation on the corpse, and several large caliber rounds disappearing into the back of Xander's suit made him aware that he had more forces to take care of.

Turning around with a roar, Xander bore his clawed hands wide at the troops who were now desperately trying to unload their entire ordinance on him as quickly as possible; all without any effect.

Inside Xander's head the primal spirit shouted, _'Kill them all! Slaughter the sheep!'_

Only, before Xander could take a step towards the shaking horde of troops that had seen him kill their last hope for protection, the subroutine in Xander's head clicked over for a third time and an electronic voice in Xander's head said, 'Three strikes, and yer' out of here Primal.' Coupled with the clanks inside Xander's head emitting a blast of electrical energy.

'Zzztttt!' Xander's head and body was electrocuted, jolting him up onto his toes stiff straight and causing his hair to stand on end and a brief bit of smoke to issue out of Xander's ears.

Now electricity was not capable of really killing Xander, given the voltage and amps used, especially not when considering Xander's super durability and healing capabilities. However it was sure able to give Xander a wakeup call.

Xander slumped over backwards like a falling board, impacting the ground and laying still as the claws retracted off his hands and back into the sleeves of his suit coat.

The soldiers who had been arrayed against him stopped firing, confused as they had been sure that their rounds and grenades hadn't been doing anything to the terrifying figure. Their confusion was quickly interrupted when the figure sat straight up, and proceeded to stretch with one arm into the air while the other one went towards the mask as if stifling a yawn.

"Yawn. Boy that was a nice nap…" Xander's voice issued out of his helmet as he looked around, the voice fading off as he looked around and realized that he wasn't in the conference room where he had last remembered sitting down.

Looking around, he saw several Romanian army soldiers shakingly pointing weapons at him, so Xander queried his nano-clanks and Jarvis what the hell had happened, cringing as they informed him about the actions of the Primal while Xander had been unconscious.

"Well at least I'm not dead at the hands of that telepath," Xander mumbled to himself inside his helmet as he stood up and stretched, popping his back.

The popping sound made the soldiers cringe back a step, and there was visible shaking in their hands holding the weapons pointed at Xander.

"Well crap, better pick up the pieces." Xander said to himself, "Jarvis, new order, less killing, more prisoners please. But might as well follow through with some of the ideas the primal had and collect the heads of the dead." Xander commanded, for what mad scientist couldn't do with more 'brains' to experiment with.

Looking up at the shaken fearful soldiers, Xander smiled before disappearing for a second before appearing back in the same position with a pile of weapons and vehicle keys at his feet.

"Ok men, now that the metas are no longer a problem I suggest you surrender. I promise you will not be injured if you comply with my orders and stop resisting." Xander broadcast in Romanian over loudspeakers in his helmet.

The soldiers arrayed against Xander hesitated for a second, but only for a second as Xander raising his hand and claws once again formed over Xander's fingers, causing the soldiers to all quickly get down on their knees and put their hands behind their heads. The soldiers manning the tower machinegun positions or functioning tanks quickly exited their positions before joining their comrades on their knees with their hands in the air.

"Good idea." Xander announced, right as a two portals opened up behind Xander's right and left shoulders and his black armored bodyguards from earlier stepped out to bracket him. The defensive clanks and terminator robots moved forward to secure and shepherd the soldiers into a barracks where they could be held for the time being.

"Sir, Romania is yours." The voice of Igor announced over Xander's radio in his helmet, causing Xander to smile.

There, standing under the blood red crimson sky of the country he had taken out of phase with the rest of the world, Xander continued to smile as he looked around and realized that his plan had worked. Sure there had been some unexpected problems, but no plan ever completely survived first contact with the enemy. Ultimately though, Xander had conquered his country, now he just had to subdue it and keep it.

* * *

Throughout time there have been leaders whose voice and message had the ability to resonate with the souls of the people of their country and guide them where the leader wanted. These speakers, these leaders of men, had used their voices and their oratory skills for both good and evil. Men such as Martin Luther King Jr., Franklin D. Roosevelt, Mahatma Gandhi and Winston Churchill had guided their countries through times of hardship and into a glowing new world; whereas men like Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler had used their oratory skills and vision to guide their countries to do great but oftentimes horrible things. However none of those world leaders had ever had the innate oratory skills and almost magical voice of leadership that a major spark was able to use. Infused with the powers of the 'Spark', Xander's very voice had the ability to cause people to follow him not only willingly but also enthusiastically. The best way to describe the voice of a major spark would be that if he told you to go to hell, you would look forward to the trip and happily march off on your journey while offering to pick up souvenirs. Such was Xander's ability when the Spark of Genius took over, and such was the voice that now addressed every man, woman, and child in the entire country of Romania.

From every radio, every TV, and even from speakers and projectors mounted on little clanks spread out to every village, town, hamlet, and city in Romania, Xander's voice and image was heard to speak in Romanian to his citizens.

"People of Romania, I come not to you as an invader, but as a liberator." Xander's message began with an image of him sitting calmly at a desk with the Romanian flag behind him as well as a solid black flag with a question mark on it, Xander's black helmet with the white question mark looking right into the camera.

"I come to liberate you from the oppression of Ceauşescu and his greed as well as the forces that held his leash." Xander continued, the images on the television showing the body and charred head of Ceauşescu as well as the deceased bodies of several known leaders of the secret police organizations and the headless body of Yuri.

"I come to free those wrongfully imprisoned and held captive in darkness." Xander stated, and background pictures of the prisoners were shown; freed and fully healed of their captivity by the secret police, hugging family members with the women crying and children who had feared to never see their fathers, clinging to their necks.

"I come to free you from sickness, from hunger, crime, and poverty." Xander continued, his voice and energy rising as real-time images were shown of people in wheel chairs being injected with a syringe before getting out of their chairs and walking for the first time in their lives. Other pictures followed of bread, meat, and coffee being handed out in the poorer areas of the cities while other pictures showed booths being set up in cities across the country; booths with signs stating that there was work to be had by all who wanted it.

"I will cure your cancer, I will help the lame to walk, and the elderly to have a new chance at life immortal." Xander's energy came through his voice as he clenched his fist before the camera. The people all across the country were electrified as his voice resonated with their souls and the images spoke to their hearts as they saw sick children with bald heads being cured and playing together as Xander continued to speak.

"Together we will guide Romania to its rightful place as an individual superpower, not dependant for the crumbs from Russia, China, Germany, Turkey, or France, not a puppet of the western powers and their corporations, not victim to the villains and criminals of this world, but a strong, powerful Romania armed to the teeth and a true economic superpower." Xander's voice rose, empowering the people and causing them to start crying out in joy and support. Spontaneous bursts of cheering were heard to issue throughout the country as images of abandoned industrial factories were shown as the factories were entered by robots that began to scour the buildings of rust while rapidly fixing up the tools of industry and growth. Already smoke was beginning to appear from smokestacks of long abandoned factories, smokestacks that were quickly capped by strange metal devices with pipes that disappeared back into the factories and recycled all of the waste chemicals and smoke.

"Stand with me Romania! Stand with me for now and forever and I will guide you into a greater world, a better world for our People!" Xander's voice rose and he stood before the camera, black helmet shining and immaculate red tie and black suit seeming to now glow with power while at the same time absorbing the light.

Clenching his fist before the camera, Xander continued towards the climax of his speech, "I am the Voivode of Transylvania, I am the Leviathan of Romania, and I come to you now to lead you into prosperity, into protection and security, into a new life and power unlike ever seen in this country. Follow me, and we will show the world, no the universe, exactly why it will never ignore Romania again!" Xander yelled into the camera, shaking his fist at the sky, the background behind Xander flashing to show an image of his Transylvanian castle that even now was swarming with clanks, clouds of nano-clanks, and giant robots and people that were reworking it into Xander's design.

"Follow me Romania! For a new day, a new dawn! For Romania!" Xander stated, feeling a bit corny and overdramatic, but needing to get his point across as he willfully manipulated an entire country to submit to his will.

The people cheered. All throughout Romania, in every town, in every house, in every square and street, field or hamlet the people cheered the Leviathan, the Voivode of Transylvania, Romania, and most of all the mysterious liberator who had taken over their country. The sound carried from every throat as every man, woman, and child who heard his speech cheered Xander on and the goals that he promised; even the babies cried and screamed even though they didn't know what they were screaming for.

The cheering issued to the blood red sky and bounced across the terrain as it mounted in sound as twenty two million voices joined together to cheer Xander and his message, their freedom from Ceauşescu, and the dawning of a new day for Romania. Such was the power of Xander's Spark, such was his leadership. Such was Romania, Xander's country.

* * *

**AN: Sorry for the wait on new chapters from me. I'm still having to nurse my dogs back to health after their horrible treatment at the kennel over Christmas. Cheers!**


	16. Chapter 16: Birth of a World Power

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes.

**AN1: Nothing of note here in the author's note, why are you still reading this author's note? Go on. Go read the story. Are you still reading this? Perhaps you come to this site for the wrong reason? I thought you came here for the fanfiction? **

**AN2: Kudos to anybody who recognized the Yuri character from PC video gaming.**

* * *

'_Thought'_

"Speech"

**Chapter 16: Birth of a World Power**

"Giving money and power to Government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."

~P.J. O'Rourke

Xander was facing an itsy bitsy small minor task, namely remaking a country and turning it into a world superpower in economics, prosperity, and military might. Oh, and he had to do it in seven days.

Xander chuckled to himself under his breath as he gazed out the window of a government building on the palace square, "Heck, if God could make the world in seven days, then remaking a country in seven days should be a snap." He continued to talk to himself as he gazed out over the still cheering throngs of people who were celebrating their liberation in the square. "I mean, of course he was God and all that, and I'm not, but at least I don't have to start from scratch."

Clapping his hands together, and then rubbing them together before cracking his knuckles, Xander turned his black helmeted visage to look at a visual image of Igor that was being projected out of the briefcase sitting on the now clean dining table; the gore and guts of Yuri and Ceauşescu having already been cleaned up in the room. Igor was currently in New Mechanicsburg, but through liberal use of the transportation technology it was possible to beam a communications signal in and out of the Romania, even with it being out of phase with the rest of the world. It was totally against the laws of planer physics that you could locate something that both existed and was simultaneously outside of existence at the same time, but through Xander's spark he had made it work, well, that and a decoder ring from a cracker-jack box.

"Igor, what's the easiest thing on my plate or one of the first things that needs to be decided before I get the manufacturing rolling along with the health, military and governmental reforms enacted?" Xander asked as he walked away from the window, pulled out a seat in front of the holographic projection and kicked his feet up onto the cherry wood table.

The image of Igor, standing just a foot high in the holographic image pulled out his ever ready data pad and started flipping through it.

"It seems sir that a change in image is called for now that you've labeled yourself the 'Leviathan.' I've prepared a series of images and artwork for your perusal to be used in modifying your black flag. I do want to mention that we are pleased that you are honoring the memory of our former master by using the solid black flag as your background." Igor continued.

"Oh, um, ok, um, yeah, that was my goal the whole time." Xander mumbled while rubbing his gloved hand over the back of his neck; he hadn't realized that the solid black flag had anything to do with The Black Heterodyne.

"Yes sir, like I was saying, we do appreciate it as after the master left Europe they primarily used his flags to denote anarchy, piracy, or mourning after death. It will be nice to see it flown proudly by a new despot, brings joy to this old man's bones it does." Igor continued, the image wiping a happy tear from the hunchback's eye, totally unaware of Xander's awkwardness at the moment.

"If you access the image file on your heads up display you will see that I am sending files suggesting mythological creatures reminiscent of descriptions that could fit with details on the mythical Leviathan." Igor stated as his image dragged his finger across the data pad in his hands.

"You've got mail!" A voice stated in Xander's helmet, and a little icon appeared in the upper right hand corner of his heads up display. Xander smiled at the little quirk he had added to his computer system.

Mentally querying the electronic package, a series of images started to appear in front of Xander's eyes.

"No, not a white whale, I'm not Moby Dick. No, not the Hydra, don't want to mess with those whackos. Keep going, no, not the pink dragon, I'm not Puff… keep going, keep going. No, not Cthulhu, too squid like… Keep going, Kraken no, keep going… Wait!" Xander cried out as the images flashed before his eyes quickly, "Go back two images Jarvis." Xander commanded and his AI in his helmet complied.

Xander looked at the silhouette of a three headed golden dragon pictured with its upper body and wings rising out of the rolling waves; one head looked like it was fiercely staring ahead while the other two heads had their mouths open as if they were roaring at the heavens and earth. Xander looked at it for a second, and then started to giggle.

Xander's giggle turned into a chuckle, and then a belly laugh that eventually had tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I always did tell Willow and Jesse that King Ghidorah could kick Godzilla's butt any day." Xander said through his tears of mixed joy and sorrow. It was these little things, these dorky little memories of times gone by that seemed to sneak up on Xander. That caused him to miss what he had lost yet also try and find joy where he was now. Xander still had many mixed emotions about being here in the DC comic book universe where boyhood dreams clashed with the reality of his situation as well as what he had lost. All in all he was making the best of his situation, but he really missed just having friends. Sometimes it was nice to just be a 'Xander shaped friend' or 'He-Who-Brings-Donuts.'

Sniffling his nose, Xander gave a mental command and his helmet seemed to ripple and melt down his face and into the collar of his suit. Xander removed his feet from the table and sat forward in the chair, putting his elbows on his knees as he wiped his nose with the back of his suit sleeve and then used the palm of his hand to dry his eyes before taking a deep breath and then sitting up and focusing back on the holographic figure of Igor, who stoically looking back at Xander.

"Whew," Xander exhaled. "Sorry about that, let's go with the three headed gold dragon rising from the depths of the ocean motif." Xander replied to Igor's earlier question.

"Right away sir, though I do suggest you take a break to… 'relax' with Dora and Tara when you can. It's not healthy for the master to get so pent up as it were." Igor resolutely replied, punching the order into the data pad while ignoring Xander's incredulous look, "Your flags and insignia will be updated to show the new moniker of the Leviathan. Now if you would again pull up your HUD, we can commune on the plan for the week." Igor suggested.

Xander sat up straight in his chair and told his helmet to reactivate, enjoying the brief moment of having his face free from the confines of his mask before the rippling nano-clank technology in his outfit again solidified into a solid black mask. The question mark on Xander's mask disappeared, and the new moniker of the three headed gold dragon King Ghidorah appeared as a large broach or pin on Xander's suit's lapel.

Xander mentally started flying through commands and plans as drop downs and CAD designs flew across the inside of his helmet at the speed of thought; the speed of thought for a genius spark like Xander was very fast indeed. The hologram of Igor on the table in front of Xander was furiously typing and moving his hands across his keyboard; fingers seeming to fly as the chief minion did what he did best, assisting his master.

Silently, master and minion worked in sync to create and develop something that was stronger, better, faster and more powerful than either could do alone. It was the very definition of synergy as the plans and ideas, designs and counters, piled up and flew out of Xander and Igor's minds and were formed into tangible ideas, designs and plans that were saved into the AI computers. Igor, being a true bred and raised minion, knew exactly what Xander expected and wanted exactly when Xander needed it, if not before.

Then Xander started to hum to himself as the spark kicked into high gear in his mind. An eerie light seemed to almost shine from Xander's eyes as the ideas that shot out onto the computer's screen were combinations of boyhood memories and science fiction that would warp the mind and send most logical scientists screaming in fear.

Somewhere, Mother Nature and the laws of the universe shook in fear as Xander hit the enter key, and his plans were completed.

Looking up at the holographic image of Igor, Xander smiled from within his helmet, a manic insane smile of pure genius and fanboy glee come to life.

'_Having your own country is fun._' Xander thought to himself madly, the understatement of the year.

The hologram of Igor pressed several buttons on his data pad before bowing to Xander.

"It will be as you command, my master." Igor stated from his bowed position before the hologram wavered and dissipated, and the briefcase snapped shut.

Xander hopped out of the chair, the movement from his standing sending the chair he had been sitting on flying across the room to shatter against the wall.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha." Xander cackled madly as he rubbed his hands together. "Let the fun begin!" He finished with a yell, before running out the door to get started on his reworking of Romania.

Xander's country had a lot to do before its date with the world.

* * *

All across the country of Romania a feeling of enthusiasm, anticipation and nationalism swept the country. Every man, woman, and child was utterly devoted to the cause set forth by their new leader, the Leviathan, and already they were seeing the benefits.

Food was everywhere and easily accessible. Strawberries as big as elephants were stocked in warehouses beside apples the sizes of busses and piles of wheat, each wheat kernel the size of a child's head. The shrinking and enlargement technology was used to enlarge the everyday goods by magnitudes of a hundred. Cows the size of bull elephants produced bathtub's full of milk, and pigs the size of horses were turned into piles of bacon that would make any man cry at the gorgeous site of so much bacon-y goodness. Next to Twinkies, bacon was right up there on Xander's 'goodness' scale of goodies; not as high as Twinkies and all their godlike glory, but pretty dang close. The food as well as the grass and feed for the animals was enlarged after harvest, that way the soil wasn't overly tapped out, and the overabundance of 'fertilizer' from the enlarged animals was captured and tilled into the soil to recapture the nutrients. In fact, all of the countries waste products were being captured and used, from the carbon and water of car exhaust, to the flatulence and waste of the animals and humans. The carbon and nitrate waste would come in handy with the creation of the military.

The country of Romania was turning green and the somewhat smoggy skies of the major cities were clearing up as little clanks scattered throughout the country fitting caps onto the exhaust pipe of every chimney, vehicle, or waste removal passage and they jetted across the sky on little helicopter blades while dragging devices that ionized the air and drew the chemical particle matter out of the sky. The caps on the exhaust pipes, once applied, sealed themselves in the aperture and couldn't be removed without melting away into nothing if tampered with. However while they were in place, little portals captured every drop of carbon dioxide, harmful waste chemical, or sludge and sent it to a central repository deep in the carved out mountains of Romania. Huge facilities were being mined out of the Romanian mountains, making the mountains mere shells as the outside stayed completely untouched but the inside materials were turned into storage and treatment facilities as the minerals and ore were mined out to create more and more robots and clanks of every type imaginable. All waste products, from the sewage sludge to the industrial waste was captured, distilled into its basic parts through the use of nano-clanks, and then reused to support the industrial growth of a country caught in the largest economic boom in the history of the world. While the countryside around them was being healed and growing healthier, the health of the Romanian people had never been better either.

In every city, township, and unassociated hamlet portals opened up to disgorge busses of medical personnel who were announcing that cure-all shots were available to everybody for free. The people responded in droves, every infant, every grandfather, every mother and everybody in between lined up to get their shots. Through the science of nano-clank technology and the medical knowledge in Xander's brain, plus the Lazarus Pit formula, every citizen of the country was inoculated against the common cold, everyday viruses, and even such nasty things such as AIDS or drug addiction; the little microscopic clanks in the injection went to work repairing damage to the Romanian peoples' bodies from the DNA level on up. Children on the cancer wards had nano-clanks shrink the cancer cells from inside their bodies, the cancerous cells were then broken down and transformed into protein molecules that were then used to rebuild stunted and unused muscles and radiation damaged tissues and bone marrow. Brain and neurologic disorders, diseases, and injuries were treated as the miniature clanks balanced the body's chemistry or reconnected nervous systems that had been severed or broken. Drug abuse was cleared, cholesterol cleaned up, even toxin buildup from alcohol or tobacco abuse was cleaned out of the peoples' bodies as Xander's loyal little nano-clanks went to work. It was a panacea for everything but old age. But with old age Xander also had a plan.

For those too old or frail for the nano-clanks to fully repair, the offer of immortality as a Jägerkin was offered and accepted. Throughout the entire country the old were made young and hearty again as old men and women gained the strength, power and agility of the Jäger and the will and loyalty to serve the Leviathan who made their continued life possible. In this way Xander not only helped his people stay alive and healthy, Xander also gained the second largest standing military force in the world at over three million loyal soldiers; not counting the original Romanian military force that was left after the 'Primal' got through with it.

Education and retraining were rampant as those individuals who had previously been involved with the medical, elderly care or other now 'non-necessary' industries and who were not needed for emergent care or research were easily retrained due to the use of the same nano-clank technology that Xander used to mentally control his computers, only here the computers put the equivalent of a college education or master level trade directly into the brain of the recipient. In this way not only did Xander's military and civilian populations receive the training they needed, but massive educational boosts in basic literacy and education were free and widely spread throughout the population. No longer would socioeconomic forces play a limiting factor in what jobs a person could get as the training and education were readily and quickly available for all who wished it. Coupled with Xander's speech and the enthusiasm for growth and gain, the people flocked to become productive citizens of the Romanian Nation; one nation, under Leviathan.

Romania and its people were becoming somewhat scary in their rapid growth into a Utopian society, all the more scary when after three days the entire population had been inoculated against sickness by nano-clanks loyal to Xander. It wasn't the lack of illness in the country that was scary, it was that after the nano-clanks had been injected that on the third day all of the violent or fraudulent criminals and corrupt members of Romania found their bodies marching them into the nearest police station to turn themselves in. The criminals were unable to tell lies and willingly spilled all of their secrets, including the bank account numbers and stashes of money or goods from their nefarious deeds, all of which led to Xander gaining incredible amounts of money and material goods that had belonged to organized crime or corrupt individuals. Though this lack of personal freedom would be widely decried throughout the Western World, if they knew it was going on at the time, the results spoke for themselves as the crime rate in Romania dropped to zero in the space of six hours. This freed up the parks and streets from crime, and commerce flourished as people were no longer afraid to walk the streets after dark, even in the formerly poorest of neighborhoods. The nano-clanks enabled Xander to almost instantaneously sort through the prisoners already in captivity and free those who were innocent while simultaneously judging and punishing those who were guilty. The nano-clanks uploaded a report to a massive computer that Xander's minions had built and housed at his castle. The supercomputer, much vaster in power than any computer ever built at that time on planet earth, was truly alive, and a copy of Xander's personality had been uploaded into it but with fail-safes that totally slaved its will and goals to that of the living Xander. Perhaps the only computer that could have competed with Xander's was the computer hidden in the fortress of solitude by Superman. The computer tended to Xander's flock like a benevolent Big Brother, making sure that the people of Romania had everything they could want to survive and thrive with, only watching out for criminal actions and then detaining the person until they could be dealt with. By dealt with, Xander meant repaying their debt to society by working in Xander's factories or harvesting goods in the fields that would make Romania self sufficient from the rest of the world. Those who wished to be redeemed could work. Those who were truly irredeemable murderers or sociopaths were painlessly euthanized and harvested for parts; again, a mad genius can never have enough human body parts and brains to experiment with.

The only major problem that Xander couldn't fully fix immediately was the country's dependence on fossil fuels, but Xander had plans for dealing with that after the country had phased back into place with the rest of the world. There were bigger problems to face then dependence on foreign oil, and Xander was sure that with enough money he could supply his country with the fuel it needed until he could solve that problem. No, Xander's main problem was making sure that the country existed in one piece when it phased back into the world as Igor had forwarded him files suggesting that Russia and other countries around Romania were already debating about who should own the land in the crater left by Xander taking the country out of phase.

Xander was sure that when he brought the country back to its proper place that the world was going to be even more riled up than they already were. The existing superpowers of the world were not going to be happy when they saw the type of military force that Xander was able to create in a mere seven days. The shear level of technology and firepower that Xander was planning on creating would be both a blessing and a curse as the superpowers and Romania's neighbors were not going to be happy one bit that the country had militarized as much as Xander planned. Alternatively, the world would be clamoring for free access to the technologies that cured illness, pollution, crime and hunger and Xander knew that he would have to protect his countries assets for fear of the larger countries trying to steal his gifts to his people. Vacuums and changes in world power tended to get a bit messy, that's why Xander was convinced that he needed to make his military so strong, so awe inspiring, so fearsome that nobody would believe it worth their while to tangle with him and his adopted country. Xander might be a mostly insane genius with some inklings towards world domination, but gosh darn it he was going to make the citizens of his empire the happiest and most prosperous citizens in the whole world if not the whole universe.

Towards the goal of military dominance Xander created the Machine Mountains where the weapons formed from fantasy and boyhood reading of comics and fiction were made reality. Restarting the dilapidated factories of Romania was just the beginning as Xander's manufacturing efforts expanded until the entire insides of mountains were turned into gigantic factories and production facilities for his war machine; the former contents of said mountains going into the ever hungry machine that was Xander's new factories of war machines.

Out of the pages of Mechwarrior came the clan Omnimechs of all sizes, huge hulking platforms for weapons that walked the earth like behemoth 'Old Ones'; if Ares the God of War had been watching Romania while it was out of connection with the world, he would have wet himself with glee. The mechs came with heavy armor, fast mobility, jet boosters, and Nth metal based anti-gravity fields. The mechs armaments included magnetic encapsulated plasma-round guns, rail-guns, and gauss cannons that launched rounds as large as VW Beetles, TSEMP (Tight-Stream-Electro-Magnetic-Pulse) weapons, missile launchers, repeater laser blasters, and more machineguns and Gatling cannons then the entire German army had guns during the Second World War. Yes it sounded like overkill to most people, but Xander's motto was, "There is no such thing as overkill, there are only dead enemies." Ultimately the lasers had been easy to make, as every two bit villain in the DC comic book universe had a laser gun or two. The rail-guns, gauss cannons, and the guns that launched plasma rounds were just upgraded, enlarged, and tweaked versions of Xander's Marshmallow Gun of Doom or his Toastmaster 2000s. Furthermore, every MacGyver with a roll of duct tape and some chewing gum could make a machinegun, missile launcher or Gatling cannon. All of this coupled with Xander's transportation technology and power sources allowed for a much cooler system than what had been written about in the Mechwarrior books. Both cooler figuratively and literally as the machine wouldn't be carrying around a fusion engine in its guts as a power source and could vent the heat away from weapons as quickly as it was created. This was just the armored mechanized ground vehicles in Xander's army.

On top of creating more and more defensive clanks and terminator robots, Xander needed to get armor for his millions of Jägerkin soldiers and regular standing army. To answer his needs, Xander turned to the classics, at least what any geeky sci-fi fan considered the classics. From Starwars came the Dark Trooper III armor as Xander's main military needed mobility as well as heavy fire power and a strong defense. Hulking black and gold dragon emblazoned power armor equipped with jet packs, repeater Gatling blaster cannons, thermal detonators, plasma and fragmentation grenades, and missile launchers were standard equipment for the highly computerized armor that would boost the already super strong Jäger's to new heights of strength and speed. Xander was absolutely adamant about the grenade, because nothing says 'I love you' like a thermonuclear grenade; it was a good thing the Jägers had super strong pitching arms.

The armored shell of the Dark Trooper III armor was made from the same stuff that the Omnimechs were armored with. Xander had decided that the armor needed to be totally different than the demon hunter Jägers that accompanied the 'Grey Knight,' so he started with metallo and then combined it as an alloy with compressed carbon layered and laminated at the atomic layer by hordes of nano-clanks that had been shrank to a degree that it took an electron microscope to see them. This mixture of carbon, collected from Romania's waste and pollution, and metallo was just as strong if not stronger than any Phrik blend from the original suit of armor in the books and video games. The mix of incredible pressure and transphased heat treated carbon and metallo made armor had the indestructibility of metallo multiplied by the hardened and reflective ability of the diamond-ized waste carbon. Basically, you really didn't want to shoot it with a laser, as your laser was likely to bounce right back at you and make sure you never had to worry about having kids.

For airpower, Xander had stuck with mass producing the Starscream units that he had created earlier, at least that was what he was willing to show the world at the moment. Growing up in the Harris household had taught Xander to hide his true abilities, to always have something in surplus for the bad times, and that those who are in power will do whatever they can to retain that power; these lessons brought to you by the loving fists and belt of Anthony Harris.

Though all of the manufacturing processes and improvements were carried out by Xander's minions and clanks, Xander was hardly being lazy during the remaining days before his country would be revealed to the world. Not only did he have to build something special to protect Romania's coastal waters, he had a lot of work to do with the hearts and minds of his enemies.

* * *

By dealing with the hearts and minds of his enemies, Xander didn't mean trying to win over the rest of the world, no, he had a backlog of brains to tinker with. Principally, Xander had the brain of Yuri to deal with along with any secrets that the now dead telepath had left behind. Thus it was the morning of the eighth day of Romania being out of phase with the rest of the world that found Xander digging through the government buildings Ceauşescu had left behind.

Deep in the bowels of the main executive branch building on Palace Square, Xander's clanks had discovered a hidden chamber behind a wall within an unused woman's restroom. Xander knew it was Yuri's hideout, as only in the DC comic book universe did a villain hide his layer by putting signs up on the bathroom's door saying, "Out of Order, stay out on pain of death and the frying of your brain!"

The brain bit had been a little hint as to who had placed the sign.

"What is it with creepy villains using the woman's bathroom as the entrance to their secret layer? Somebody's read a bit too much Harry Potter I'm afraid." Xander said to himself as his helmet scanned the wall of the girls' bathroom and directed him to a faucet on the 'dirtiest' sink Xander had ever seen.

Reaching out for what appeared to be a brown smear covered faucet, Xander was silently thankful that his Leviathan outfit included gloves. Xander turned the faucet on the sink and watched as the wall and the sink split in two and then sank into the floor; revealing a lighted stairway that led deeper under the building.

Xander stepped onto the first step going down, and it was only by the grace of his super hearing and speed that stopped Xander from being impaled by spikes that shot out of the ceiling above the step.

Xander dived forward and rolled bouncingly down the steps before landing upside down, limbs akimbo, against a solid plate steel door at the bottom of the steps.

Righting himself, Xander turned and looked up the stairs and saw that the spikes had again retracted into the ceiling, seeming to disappear in the concrete at the threshold.

"Tricky bugger, weren't you Yuri." Xander said out loud as he shook his head.

"Sir, I suggest using your flight ability next time you decided to dive down a staircase." The proper English voice of Xander's AI Jarvis suggested to Xander in an unflappable monotone voice.

Xander was about to snark back, but then paused for a second as he realized that his AI was right. Xander realized that he wasn't thinking like he had super powers, he was thinking and reacting like yay old Xander Harris of Sunnydale USA. Xander had all these smarts, but he needed to not just act and react, he had to remind himself to get his abilities to be second nature.

'_Something else to put on the to-do list.'_ Xander thought to himself.

'_Make sure to put the Harem up there on the top of the list also!'_ A little voice shouted in the back of Xander's head.

'_What? How did you get out of that room? Back into the back of his head libido, this is no time for Xander to be thinking with his dick.'_ A second voice commanded.

There was the sound of a brawl in the back of Xander's head, followed by the locking of many bolts and padlocks on a door, followed by the sound of the clicking of a safe's dial being turned.

'_There, back to work you!' _The second voice commanded Xander.

Xander just shook his head and turned to focus on the plate steel door before him, a security keypad on the wall to the right of the door.

"Thank you Jarvis, I'll try to remember." Xander told his AI while focusing on the steel door.

"So, 'What Would Superman Do' in a situation like this?" Xander postulated out loud while examining the door.

A brief second later, a grin grew across Xander's face.

Punching both fists at the door with his fingers jutting like claws, Xander buried his fingers into the thick steel door as easily as if he was sinking his fingers into play-dough or silly-putty. Wrenching backwards, Xander tore the four inch thick steel door out of its fittings and threw it behind him and up the stairs. Xander watched the door sail up the stairway as easily as a kid would throw a Frisbee, and then turned around to look at the now empty doorway as he heard the flying doorway 'clang' as it impacted into something in the bathroom where the secret entrance was hidden.

Xander took one look at the doorframe and let out a whistle as he was impressed with what he saw there.

Wide eyed, Xander spoke to himself, "Apparently I wasn't the only one thinking about 'What Would Superman Do?'" Xander said to himself as he admired the green glowing rocks that had been imbedded all around the frame of door in the ceiling, walls, and floor.

Xander stepped towards the door and leaned in to examine the glowing rocks, "Jarvis, please analyze the green stones. Is that what I think it is?" Xander questioned.

"Yes sir, the rocks are cut and polished stones of green Kryptonite. Apparently the late Mr. Yuri had planned ahead for possible interference from Superman or a member of his species." Jarvis reported, the inside of Xander's helmet showing the radiation readings and wavelengths as spectrometers and rotating three dimensional diagrams of the kryptonite were shown to Xander on the inside of his HUD.

"Well, Batman always did refer to Superman as a boy scout, so no harm in taking a page from his book and 'always be prepared.'" Xander said with a smile as he laid his gloved hand over one of the stones in the door.

"Absorb," Xander commanded verbally, and the nano-clanks in the glove that made up the material of Xander's glove, currently colored black, seemed to ooze, swarm and pour off of his hand and into the small space between the edges of the green kryptonite stone and the threshold of the door. When the nano-clanks receded back into the material of Xander's glove, there was only a hole in the wall where the stone had been.

"Cool!" Xander exclaimed with a smirk, "Yay, that's magic and Kryptonians down, only a million other things that could potentially attack and kill me left to go… Wait, that's not good." Xander finished to himself, at first happy at his progress and then realizing that he still had a lot of work to do to keep himself safe.

Xander punched a couple portions of the doorway a few times, both for better access to the kryptonite stones as well as stress release based on the bit of anxiety that arose in Xander. Xander had been going with the flow so far, but it was that little niggling in the back of his head that sounded like Anthony Harris that told Xander that he was painting a proverbial target on his back by becoming a world leader and that Xander was a still vulnerable; the voice had just called Xander a 'wimp' but Xander translated it into the rest with worry.

Sighing as he tried to change his thoughts to something other than his dear old dad, Xander picked the remaining kryptonite stones out of the cracked cement of the threshold and dropped the stones into his pocket before entering the room and switching on an old fashioned power switch that sparked and then energized the equipment in Yuri's former hide out.

With the connection of electricity multiple weird devices came to life as Jacob's Ladders shot bands of sparks between their relays, containers with different colored fluids that contained animal and human brains started to bubble, and a light popped on over a blanket draped medical table and a work bench that had several bloody hacksaws on it and a few large leather bound tomes.

Xander walked into the room, stopped to tap on a glass container that had a floating brain in it and green bubbling fluid. Tapping on the container had the brain leaping towards the side of the jar as if trying to escape or attack Xander's finger. Xander quickly removed said fingers from the side of the container and backed away slowly. Turning his attention to the medical table and work bench, Xander walked over and flipped through a couple of tomes.

It was the cover of the second tome that caught Xander's attention, for right on the middle of the black leather cover was an embossed golden trilobite.

"You've got to be shitting me." Xander mumbled as he flipped open the cover of the book to the title page. There in neat yet somewhat ornamental cursive scrawl was the title, 'Inanimate to Animate, Bringing the Dead and Undead to Life,' by T.B. Heterodyne.

Xander flipped through the pages quickly as his reading speed and aptitude for learning quickly devoured each detail on the pages he quickly read.

"Wow, apparently Yuri didn't learn the trick with the frankfurter and the stein of beer in this book, but The Black Heterodyne clearly states how he keeps the brain healthy outside the body as well as the ability to form rudimentary controls based on brain wave modulation and electrical stimuli." Xander spoke to himself as he continued to quickly read.

"It says here… no no, that hypothesis is wrong as Vlad 'the Blasphemous' Heterodyne clearly stated in his dissertation on 'the proper cooking and gene modification of human and monkey brains' that thoughts can actually be read, directed, as well as trained, through the use of chemical and electric manipulation and addition." Xander mumbled to himself while continuing to read. Xander was absolutely absorbed in his reading and a little tune started to play in the back of his head as he pulled a pen out of his pocket and began scribbling something in the margins of the book before crossing out another section of the original text while adding in his own notes.

Mentally commanding his helmet to retract, Xander stuck the nib of the pen in his mouth while humming a sparky tune as he continued to read through The Black Heterodyne's tome on creating zombies, ghouls, vampires, and controlling brains; totally unaware that the pen in his mouth was turning his tongue blue.

Xander's eyes took on an excited glow as he quickly whipped through the tome by his ancestor and then hurriedly read through the other books and their thousands of pages in a matter of minutes.

Closing the last book, a journal written by Yuri in his quest to control the minds of living humans, Xander turned to the medical table beside him and whipped the sheet off of the large hulking figure. Strapped to the table was a cross stitched corpse of a man that looked like a bald Frankenstein monster; Xander paused as he looked at the corpse and the mental gears in Xander's head seemed to skip a beat and then work in over time.

The voices in Xander's head were yelling back and forth over the possibilities of his latest idea.

'_Nein! Nein! Das est nein gut! It es a vaste of time and too stupid to be funny.' _A voice that sounded like Colonel Clink from Hogan's Heroes yelled in Xander's head.

'_Whoa dude, like chill out man, you're totally messing with my peaceful and fun loving vibes here man_.' Xander's inner Californian stated; the sound of a bong hit following the righteous dude's counter argument.

Xander shook his head to shut up the voices before again focusing on the large body lying on the table. '_Perhaps Igor was right, perhaps it isn't smart for sparks to get so pent up, as I just had the strangest idea about getting the corpse to join me in a tap dancing and singing duet of Putting On The Ritz.' _Xander thought before shaking himself and then covering the corpse again while taking the pen out of his mouth and putting it behind his ear.

" Mental note, make sure to go have some fun with Dora and Tara after all of Romania comes back into phase with the rest of the world." Xander mumbled to himself while picking up Yuri's notebook and walking over to a shelf that contained jars of floating brains.

Flipping open the notebook of Yuri that was in his hands, Xander looked back and forth between the scribbles on the pages and the brains on the shelf as his smile grew into something a little bit frightening.

Pulling his glove to his mouth, Xander mentally commanded the material covering his thumb to recede and then stuck his thumb into his mouth and bit down on his flesh, drawing a few drops of blood before his healing factor quickly repaired the self inflicted wound.

Xander spit the little bit of blood and saliva out on the ground and then command, "Ten-Hut!"

Suddenly, the nano-clanks that had been in Xander's drop of blood un-shrunk themselves and Xander was left with roughly thirty to forty little clanks piled up before him; little clanks that quickly hopped out of their pileup and then stood at attention before giving Xander a salute with their little metal clawed hands.

Xander's manic smile only got larger, as one of his earlier inventions actually worked; he hadn't been sure if the clanks would really grow larger again when they left the body and were commanded to (there had been a bit of a possibility that the rapid growth of so many clanks in the same area could have formed a small nuclear explosion due to overlapping matter, but oh well, such is science).

Quickly getting his brain back in gear, Xander started rapid firing orders to little clanks and they started scattering through the room before running back towards the containers of brains with electrical wires, paper clips, chewing gum, duct tape, circuit boards and a controller from an old Atari game console, and bailing wire. You can never have enough bailing wire.

Xander reached up on the shelf and pulled down a couple of containers of brains and brought them back over to the work bench which he cleared of tomes and writing materials with a sweep of his arm before setting down his arm full of brains.

Wires were quickly inserted through the lids of the jars, the fluid in the jars, and into different parts of the brain, the bubblegum was used along with the paper clips, and the duct tape was added to make sure that Xander's idea worked. '_Because everything works better with duct tape.'_ Xander thought to himself as he continued to make connections and tweaks to the wires that led to the Atari game console.

Finally, plugging in the joystick controller and connecting electricity to his conglomeration of wires, Xander called for somebody to find him a TV or computer monitor as well as some old video games.

Two little clanks came running across the room to Xander, both carrying stacks of Atari video games that came from who knows where. Another three packs of clanks swayed heavily carrying a pile of monitors and TVs that threatened to fall over and crash with the back and forth balancing motion that the little clanks were forced to do while moving the leaning tower of electronics towards Xander.

Xander quickly plugged monitors into the console array and multiple monitors before popping in a game of 'Space Invaders'. The load screen popped up, and then a series of bug like aliens flew down and then began to drop bombs towards a ship that Xander controlled across the bottom of the screen, shooting back at the bugs and using his super reflexes to quickly destroy all of the invaders on the screen.

Soon the second level started, but rather than playing it himself, Xander twisted two paperclips together, causing a spark to form and mildly electrocute Xander before the ship on the screen began to move about and again easily dispatched the enemy invading fleet; but this time Xander hadn't moved the controller at all.

"Yes! Wa Ha ha ha ha ha! It worked!" Xander cackled and jumped up and down in a little Snoopy happy dance before focusing on the screen and the brain that was now controlling the ship as it almost effortlessly destroyed the invading fleet of aliens on the screen.

Xander continued to madly laugh to himself as he attached secondary wires to another brain, and then a series of other brains, before setting up a second TV and plugging in the old Atari game 'Combat;' Xander only had to take the cartridge out and blow into it once to get it to work.

Quickly, Xander played the 'Combat' game's modes of Biplane and then Jet, followed by several different versions of the Tank game that were included in the classic Atari 'Combat' cartridge. Again twisting together several more sets of paper clips, Xander watched as the first brain controlled the units though the different versions, and then the other sets of brains that Xander had set up in the series started to play the games against the first brain and against each other as each subsequently learned from the first; each brain improvising and using its full ability to play the game as they had nothing else to divide their concentration.

Xander was laughing his head off with glee and was constantly doing the Snoopy dance as the brains in the background were playing through the combat games, a nice demo of things to come.

"Ha ha ha! Excelent." Xander commented as he slouched over and tapped his fingers together rapidly in imitation of the cartoon character Mr. Burns from the Simpsons TV show.

Xander smirked at his own antics and stood up and then looked at his watch to check the time.

"Good, I've got a half an hour to go before I have to get ready for the parade." Xander said to himself after looking at the time on his watch.

Xander quickly swung around towards a cabinet that was in the back of the laboratory, accidentally knocking over a container on the room's central table, a jar that contained the vicious brain that had earlier tried to bite Xander's finger when he had tapped on the glass.

Ignoring the crashing sound behind him, Xander walked towards the cabinet that was slightly open and pulled it open to find an old fashioned tube radio and a few pictures of a short scrawny pale faced boy with braces and head gear.

Picking up the picture, Xander took a look at it for a second before realizing who was in the picture.

"God Yuri, no wonder you wanted the world to bow to you. You must have been teased mercilessly when you were a child. And what with that head gear, you were already half way there to picking up radio waves if not controlling other's minds." Xander said looking at the picture before chucking it over his shoulder.

Little did Xander know, but the vicious little brain that had attacked his tapping finger previously had escaped from the smashed jar that Xander had knocked off the room's center table. The blackish water in the jar spilled across the ground, and said brain, upon escaping from its jar and coming into contact with the air, had formed a pair of legs and a jaw with nasty little teeth. The little sucker had been in the process of leaping at the back of Xander's head when the picture, just thrown over Xander's shoulder, intercepted the brain sucker mid air and knocked it to the ground; giving the little brain sucker a little concussion.

Xander next picked up the radio.

"Ah ha! Perfect, just what I needed, I should thank Yuri." Xander said to himself while smiling.

Xander reached into his pocket and pulled out the head of Yuri.

"Thanks Yuri." Xander said to the head as he held it up to his face, before chuckling at his own actions and then setting Yuri's head down on the cabinet; Xander was a mad genius after all, so insane actions were part and parcel of a normal day in the life.

Xander then picked up the radio, flipped it over and began to disassemble the old-time device.

Connecting several of the wires from the transistor tubes to the tubes attached to the back of Yuri's head, Xander made several tweaks to the assembly before looking at it from the right, and then the left.

"Damn, going to need the helmet to see if I'm able to hit the right harmonics." Xander mumbled to himself, nonchalantly pulling the pen from behind his ear and throwing it over his shoulder while mentally ordering his helmet to activate.

Totally oblivious to what was going on behind him, Xander's pen flew over his shoulder and again intercepted the jumping brain sucker mid leap, this time skewering it and ending with it pinned to the ground by the force of Xander's nonchalant throw. Though Xander was no Gordon Freeman, he had just stopped an invasion of the body snatchers before it could even begin; and he didn't even have to use a crowbar.

With the speakers disconnected from the radio or Yuri's head, Xander flipped the switch on the former radio and began to turn the dial. At the point where Xander heard, "This is the BBC, and now we send you over to the Department of Silly Walks…" Broadcast inside his head, Xander smiled at the realization that that he had found the right frequency for brain waves.

"Wonderful," Xander mumbled to himself as he picked up the head and the radio assembly. "Now if I can just find the proper material to shield my thoughts from telepathy, it should be perfect." Xander continued to speak to himself as he absent mindedly stepped over the now dead brain sucker and carried Yuri's head and radio assembly over towards the work bench where the brains were playing video games.

Xander continued to think to himself as he disconnected all of the brains and pocketed them along with the Atari consol, Yuri's head, the radio, and the conglomeration of bailing wire, electrical wires, paperclips, bubble gum, and duct tape.

Walking out of the room and towards the stairs, Xander was heard to mumble as he hit the light switch.

"Hmmm, according to the read outs on the helmet, wrapping my head in a slight layer of tinfoil like material should protect me from any telepathic attacks." Xander mumbled.

With that, the lights went out and only Xander's footfalls up the steps, with a hopping noise over the top step, could be heard before the sound of the secret entrance's walls again closing shut echoed down into the formerly secret laboratory.

The time on Xander's watch said that it was 11:00 AM, one hour before Romania's unveiling to the world.

* * *

The eyes of the world were focused on the disappearance of Romania. Alien invasions of large cities, supervillain attacks on monuments or sections of countries, and city wide catastrophes were things that the United Nations had experience dealing with when it came to 'weird' problems. Never before, however, had one of the member nations of the United Nations simply disappeared. Not only had the people of Romania disappeared, but every rock, pebble and ounce of earth and sky was no longer there, leaving a vast wasteland and scar on the earth that had the experts on the news nations wildly postulating what the hell had happened and what that weird red light could have possibly been. The world leaders were further riled up over the forced landing and disappearance of their own citizens who had been already in the country at the time of the 'Red Flash,' whether in one of the planes that had been forced to land, on a train passing through Romania, or even just living or visiting the country at the time of the disappearance. Even the religious leaders of the world were up in arms, some groups picketing in front of the United Nations held signs bearing messages about 'The End is Near, Repent!' or other statements regarding dooms day. The chaos outside the United Nations building in New York City was further exacerbated by conflicting religious and ideological groups taunting each other or trying to out yell each other.

The scene inside the United Nations was no less chaotic and loud as leaders from every nation of the world either demanded answers or demanded a piece of the pie as Romania's former neighbors argued over how to divide the new land that was now unpopulated. Giant screens throughout the auditorium and on television monitors throughout the halls and conference rooms of the building all showed a hulking crater of jagged earth where once Romania stood, empty of any life. It was only the fear that the country might again reappear and crush any who entered the crater that stopped countries like Russia or war torn Kasnia from marching troops into the crater; well, it would have been more of an air drop as the bottom of the crater was several miles deep. All the eyes of the world were focused on the problem of Romania, and subsequently, all of the eyes in the world were watching when a second flash of red light appeared, and on the eighth day Romania returned to Earth.

At first there was silence, as everyone stared open mouthed at the television monitors as the country reappeared. The television screens quickly flipped over to a CNN like news channel that was retransmitting the news from Romania, as every broadcast station in Romania was focused on downtown Bucharest and a newly paved and installed vast strip of hardened concrete that replaced the formerly tree lined main street, Bulevardul Unirii. Where the Fantâna Piata Unirii used to stand was now a grand arch spanning the stretch of twenty four lane concrete road and arching over two hundred and fifty meters into the air. The arch was jaw droppingly large and was made out of a bands and twists of black and gold metal twisted together into a giant endless serpentine knot that made the individual foot wide 'threads' look like they were covered in the scales of some sort of reptilian beast. Interspersed with the black and gold 'threads' were blue and red colored 'glass' conduits that seemed to snap and fluctuate with ever flickering energy of some sort, though the glass seemed to sparkle like diamonds for some reason. Perched on top of the almost gaudy arch was a golden figure of a three headed dragon rising up out of the waves of a golden ocean. The dragon's heads, with their gem like eyes, looked to be screaming at the air, the earth, and right straight at the camera that was focus up the length of the street, broadcasting the new sight. The spectacle was awe inspiring to everybody who was staring at the TV screens, it was incredible that something that huge and ornate could be built and raised in the span of just eight days. However it was the sound and sight of what was marching en mass under the arch that scared the crap out of the world.

There is no forgetting or denying the impact of the sound of three million metal armored feet marching in step together, shoulder to shoulder, rank upon rank spanning the entire length of Bulevardul Unirii and disappearing into the park that was at the head of the Bulevardul. The world watched stunned, as row upon row upon row of hulking black armored troopers marched, accompanied by the cadence of the heavy metal marching tune of the song Hell March; Xander was a bit of a goof after all, and had never been all that interested in marching band music. Hovering and flying over the city at just the level over the rooftops were gigantic hulking military machines; behemoth mechs with rocket boosters and anti gravity systems courtesy of gravitational fields cast by infused and energized Nth metal. The machines were obviously armed to the teeth and at least five ambassadors to the United Nations lost the control of their bladders when they saw the sight. Then there were the jet fighter craft. The forces marching or hovering over the street and buildings seemed to be shaded by the constantly passing shadows of 'V' after 'V' of passing flights of Starscream fighter craft; the world didn't know what they were, they just knew that there were a lot of bombs, missiles, and guns attached to the fighter craft.

Though the military forces were dead scary, though the military might projected to the world was the thing of nightmares for Romania's neighbors and the world powers, what really scared the watching dignitaries was the reaction of the Romanian people to the mass of forces moving through their capital city and fanning out over the entire country. The Romanian people were cheering. From every window, every rooftop, and every sidewalk in Bucharest, the people of Romania had turned out to cheer the frightening black armored military forces, waving Romanian flags as well as black flags that contained a silhouette of a single figure of a gold three headed dragon coming out of golden waves. Commentators that were broadcasting on the news were announcing that the scene of cheering was happening in every Romanian city and town; the people were emphatically in support of this new military power that was no doubt in charge of their country. It didn't seem like the noise of the marching feet, the Hell March music, or the cheering could get louder, but it did.

The camera filming up the street at the military parade saw a flickering of red light above what would come to be known as 'Leviathan's Arch' and suddenly a black helmeted and suited figure with a blood red tie was seen to be hovering over the city and the street where the soldiers marched. At the figure's appearance, every marching soldier snapped their long multi-barreled weapon to attention and thrust their free fist against their chest in a salute, every person in the crowd screamed in joy, and every world leader felt the hair on the back of their neck stand on end and a cold sweat break out on their body. The Romanian announcers were broadcasting messages about "Thus appears our mighty leader, the Leviathan; may he rule forever, may he rule in all things, and may he be blessed in his care and guidance of our country" the message translated.

The black clad figure continued to float, standing upright, down the street waving to his people and over the black armored forces that marched beneath him; while he was on the screen the cheers of the people were deafening. The parade and march of the warriors and war machine would continue for hours, and the world leaders were speechless at the spectacle.

Romania was definitely under new management, and the world would never be the same again.

* * *

**AN: Good stopping spot. I originally was going to stop before the parade, but then figured it would be better to just have a longer chapter and include the military presentation in this chapter rather than the beginning of the next. If you enjoyed, let me know. I'm thinking I might wait on uploading new chapters to this story for a bit and focus on catching up on a few of my other works. The responses I get will let me know which way to go.**


	17. Chapter17:Speak Softly Carry A Big Stick

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real. The Ambassador from Romania is made up.

**AN1: Going to write at least one more chapter of this before I go to one of my other stories. The plot for the next chapter kept me from sleeping pretty much all last night. **

**AN: WARNING! There is another intimate bedroom scene in this chapter. I try not to get overly graphic and I never like raunchy in my works, but please skip that section if you don't care to read it. Not reading it won't overly impact the integrity of the story nor stop you from understanding the plot. Cheers!**

* * *

'_Thought'_

"Speech"

**Chapter 17: Speak Softly, Carry A Big Stick**

"Diplomacy - the art of saying `Nice doggie' 'til you can find a stick."  
- Wynn Catlin

The year was 1998 and United Nations had been in continuous session since noon when Romania returned from wherever it had disappeared to. Though the time was nearing midnight, the heated debate on what to do was still going strong in the Assembly, as well as in the hallways and back corners of the building.

Kofi Annan, the Secretary General of the United Nations, was in his second year of 'leading' the United Nations, and never before had he seen such an intense combined outcry from the member nations' ambassadors. Most of the time Kofi referred to his job, when he was feeling generous, as that of 'Herding very large and very stubborn cats with large teeth.' However, when Kofi wasn't feeling as generous and he was alone at home with his family he often likened the quibbling backstabbing ambassadors to 'A bunch of school yard bullies in a pissing contest to show who had the largest dick.'

"Gentlemen and Ladies! Gentlemen and Ladies, Order. Order please." Kofi patiently repeated, banging his gavel to attempt to get the bickering ambassadors to stop talking at once so that a combined decision could be made regarding Romania.

The crowd slowly quieted and the member nations' representatives resumed their seats.

Kofi looked out over the audience and then stated, "We still do not have the requisite information necessary to ascertain the fullness of the situation. I plead to you to relax your tensions and to come to an orderly decision on how we will proceed." The Ghanan born Secretary-General's voice was smooth and deep, the very nature of its tone and timbre of Kofi's voice helped to bring the ambassadors to order.

A light lit up on Kofi's desk, and he replied, "The representative from Ukraine has requested the floor, go ahead ambassador."

The Ukrainian Ambassador stood, a broad shouldered man with neatly cut hair that led one to believe that he had spent some time in the military prior to his life as an ambassador.

"Tank you Secretary-General Annan. It is Ukraine's belief dat, as Romania is our neighbor, dat our military inspectors should be appointed by da United Nations to enter Romania and monitor dat country's military buildup as to ascertain dat nature of any threat to da world." The Ukrainian Ambassador stated succinctly in his Russian accented English before sitting down again.

The offer was immediately met with loud cries of anger that the Ukraine thought they could be the only member to get access to reviewing Romania's new military technology.

Several lights on Kofi's desk lit up, and he quickly rapped his gavel.

"Order! Order! One at a time please. The representative from the United States was the first to query a response; the United States has the floor." Kofi ordered.

The Ambassador from the United States briefly stood up from his chair, "The United States would like to amend Ukraine's idea and allow for a multination party to be assigned to examine the situation within Romania. With the presence of a possible meta-human as the current de facto leader of Romania, the United States also, politely, requests that Dr. Amanda Waller be included on the team reviewing the situation inside Romania." The U.S. Ambassador had gestured towards an African-American woman dressed in nicely pressed power suit with an American pin on her lapel. The woman, apparently Dr. Amanda Waller, nodded and gave a slight smirk when her name was mentioned.

The proposition from the United States was met with much muttering for a few minutes before the Secretary-General again announced that a representative wished to be heard.

"The Ambassador from The People's Republic of China has the floor," Kofi Annan announced.

A sharp dressed and cunning eyed man of obvious elite Chinese ancestry stood up and gazed over the crowd for a moment before speaking. A crisp Hong-Kong British accented English addressed the Ambassadors of the Assembly, "The representative of the People's Republic seconds the motion from the United States and respectfully requests that a member of our country be included on the review of Romania. As a founding member of the 'Freedom of Power Treaty', we believe that we have a legitimate interest examining any new foreign power who openly flaunts its meta-human powers."

With that the representative from the People's Republic of China sat down and the mumbling in the Assembly resumed.

The Secretary-General gave the representatives about ten minutes to talk amongst themselves and to receive feedback from their assistants before rapping his gavel and bringing the Assembly again to silence.

"I would like to hear from the Ambassador from Romania on his opinion on the situation and the possible motion before us to allow a United Nations team of examiners to enter the country." Kofi interrupted the Assembly and gestured towards a man who appeared very stressed and a bit rumbled.

A slightly balding man in his late fifties stood up; his tie and shirt showing spots from spilled coffee and the discoloring around his collar showing that he probably had been wearing his business clothes for quite a while.

The Romanian Ambassador removed and then wiped his spectacles before putting them back on his face and began to speak, "The representative for the legitimate government of Romania…"

A loud 'bang' of the Assembly chamber's doors flying open and impacting with their door stops interrupted the Romanian Ambassador.

"The former Ambassador from Romania to the United Nations is out of line in answering for a country that he no longer represents, and which I would put forth never really represented in the first place given that his actions were not in the benefit of the people of Romania but rather that of himself and his dictator friend." Ushered out of the doorway to the Assembly chamber as the very world leader they were discussing walked into the assembly. The Leviathan had come to visit the United Nations.

Strolling in as if he didn't have a care in the world, Xander, in the garb of the Leviathan, walked into the United Nations Assembly chambers in his midnight black suit with the blood red tie and his briefcase in his gloved hand; Tara trailing quickly behind him in a low-cut midnight black business suit with what appeared to be miles of leg showing between the hem of her skirt and her black stiletto heels.

"How Dare You Sir! I am the leader of the Romanian government in exile," The Romanian Ambassador began to spout, his face becoming red and a vein beginning to pulse on his forehead as he yelled at the Leviathan who seemed to be ignoring him.

The members of the Assembly all began to mumble to each other and several where quickly typing away on blackberries or making calls on cell phones that the Leviathan was here at the United Nations and not in Romania.

"Let me see, here we go." The Leviathan interrupted as he walked to a table at the ground level of the Assembly, set his briefcase down and popped the latch. Reaching in a hand he pulled out a sheaf of papers. "Romulus Miculescu, 'former' Ambassador to Romania and self proclaimed head of the government in exile, I have here documents that would be interesting to the Assembly."

The Leviathan began to walk around the outer boundary of the floor of the United Nations, looking to be reading from the documents.

"Romulus Miculescu, let's see, complicit in a scheme to enter blood diamonds into the European market through dealings with rebel forces in Sierra Leone." The Leviathan stated, dropping off a packet at the desk in front of the Swiss representative who seemed interested when the word 'diamonds' was brought up; a packet was also dropped off in front of the representative from Sierra Leone.

The Leviathan continued to read as he walked, the Romanian Ambassador's face slowly going from red to white, "Romulus Miculescu, here is an arms deal made with Chechen and Kurdish rebels in exchange for money to be forwarded to an account in Lichtenstein, hmmm, I wonder if Russia and Turkey would be interested in seeing these." Xander's voice, pitched a bit deeper and older, issued from the speaker system in the Leviathan's helmet and seemed to flow to all parts of the assembly. The Leviathan continued to walk around the outskirts and dropped packets of information at the desks of both the Turkish and Russian representatives.

"And last for today, but hardly the full extent of your crimes, I have documents detailing Romulus Miculescu being involved in allowing his family's airfield to be used as a way station for planes shipping arms made in the United States into both Iran and Kasnia, says here LexCorp was written on the boxes and manifests of the weapons heading to the embargoed countries." The Leviathan stated, Xander smirking inside his helmet as he dropped a packet of information on the table in front of the United States's Ambassador and then at the desk of the Secretary-General of the United Nations, detailing all of the Romanian Ambassador's crimes against humanity and world peace.

The audience of Ambassadors were stunned at first, but then outcries calling for the head of the Ambassador from Romania, Romulus Miculescu, or for him to be arrested were heard to issue out of the crowd in increasing volume.

Xander merely raised his black gloved hand, and such was the presence and power of his spark that the world leaders found themselves shocked that they stopped talking at his command.

Looking up at the now white as a sheet Romulus Miculescu, Xander tilted his head slightly to the side and stated, "Did you think you could keep this from me, The Leviathan? I know all crimes that happen in my country, and you are guilty. I'm giving you ten seconds to get out of here, I wish you the best in finding a country that won't extradite you or charge you for your crimes, for if you return to Romania Romulus Miculescu, you will die." The black helmeted figure stated in a monotone but fierce voice; Xander was genuinely ticked off at some of the information that he had learned about the Ambassador after ransacking the Romanian intelligence buildings.

Romulus Miculescu, the former Ambassador from Romania gazed into the reflective black mask of the Leviathan and saw the destruction of his life mirrored back at him. The former ambassador didn't even bother to grab his papers before bursting out of his row and fleeing from the room, the distinctive scent of urine following Romulus's path.

Xander watched the little rat of a man run off with a smirk on his face; his reflective black helmet hiding all expression.

The Assembly members were all just staring at Xander startled at the latest shakeup that the figure in black had done to the United Nations.

"Now then, where were we." The Leviathan stated as he turned, closed his briefcase and picked it up, and then floated up through the air in a standing position. The Leviathan flew over the railing of the bottom row of representatives and up to the Romanian seat before seeming to float into a seated position behind the desk. Xander really didn't want to actually sit in the now urine soaked chair.

Tara followed Xander, though she took the long way and walked up the stairs. Xander smirked to himself as he watched many of the representatives struggle to figure out where they should look, at the scary Romanian world leader, or at the long legged beauty in the short skirt and high heels walking up the steps; her skirt was short enough that hints of the top of Tara's stockings and the garter attachments showed with every step, and her suit coat was open enough to see the creamy upper portion of breasts that were hinted at under a red silk chemise.

Xander just grinned inside his helmet, also enjoying the view of Tara as well as loving the fact that he was keeping the world leaders off balance.

However the other Ambassadors hadn't gained their positions by being distracted for long; at least that would be their argument, not the fact that Tara had already reached her seat next to Xander and had sat down.

"What makes you think that you can waltz in here and just claim leadership of Romania through force of arms?" The representative from the United States angrily stated, popping out of his seat and turning to face the Leviathan.

The Leviathan tilted his head to the side quizzically at the U.S. Ambassador, "Mr. Ambassador, isn't that exactly what the United States did when they seceded from Great Britain and King George, or China from its Nationalist rulers, or Russia from its Tzar, or France from its monarchy? You can hardly blame me for following your examples… even if my revolution was a bit more stylish than a tea party. Just because my take over was flashier than yours is no reason to get into a pissing contest, it's not like you're suffering from an incredibly small penis or something… oh wait, my X-ray vision is telling me that is the case. Please give your wife my condolences." Xander replied, smirking under his helmet as he saw several ambassadors shift in their seats uncomfortably at the mention that their governments had been formed through armed revolt of some manner or other just as Romania now had. The American Ambassador first went white in the face, then red, and quickly moved his hands to cover his crotch, even though Xander hadn't really engaged the x-ray vision on his helmet.

"You know what they say about glass houses and stones don't you Ambassador?" The humor in the Leviathan's question could clearly be heard, and several representatives from small third world countries openly smirked or covered their chuckles with coughs. They enjoyed seeing the strong handed United States put in its place every now and then even though the country was responsible for supplying most of the world aid they received.

The representative from the United States sat down, unable or unwilling to go down his original path of questioning now that he had lost his 'righteous moral high ground.'

"Ahem, new Ambassador from Romania, by what name or title may we address you?" Kofi Annan interjected, always the consummate diplomat and trying to get the proceedings back on track.

Xander looked out over the audience, noticing the many different representatives facing him, from every color and creed of the Earth, and then answered, "You may call me 'The Leviathan,' or simply 'Leviathan.' I am the keeper of my people and need no other title other than my name." He replied.

Inside Xander's helmet he muttered to himself, not allowing it to be broadcast, "Leviathan sure as hell beats LaVelle. If there was ever proof that my parents hated me, it was by making my middle name LaVelle." Xander continued to himself, most of his focus going to picking up the whispers made between representatives and their staff.

Xander's full attention was again called to the front by Secretary-General Annan, though a conversation between the Ambassador for the People's Republic to an aide regarding Oolong Island, horseman and special infiltration squads caught Xander's attention, he mentally commanded Jarvis to listen in and record a translated version for analysis.

"Leviathan, we were just discussing a plan for the United Nations to implement a team of inspectors that would travel to your country to review the state of your military and your society. Do you have any thoughts that you would like to share?" Kofi stated before sitting down again.

Xander had expected something like this, and already had a plan set aside for dealing with it. Standing out of his seat, Xander panned the gaze of his helmet at the myriad faces before facing the Secretary-General. "Yes sir, I would like to comment. No team of inspectors from any country foreign to Romania will be allowed on Romanian soil, whether sanctioned by this body, the United Nations, or done clandestinely by any government or power of this world other than my own. I will protect my people completely, and that includes from you all medaling in its affairs." The Leviathan stated, remaining standing after he was finished with his brief answer.

The answer met an immediate outcry of anger from the gathered leaders, and it took several minutes of the Secretary-General banging his gavel on the podium for quiet to resume. The quiet didn't last for long, as the representatives from Russia, China, France, and the United States all stood up at the same time and tried to talk over each other, finally the multiple ambassadors shared a look with the representative from the United States before nodding and resuming their seats.

The representative from the United States announced, "In light of your response, I have been authorized by the President and his party that effective immediately the United States will place an embargo on all products and aid flowing to and from Romania, and we urge this august body to place an equal blockade and or tariff upon Romania." The U.S. Ambassador sat with a smirk pointed at the still standing Leviathan.

"The representative from The People's Republic of China seconds the motion that an embargo be placed on all services, goods, and aid flowing to and from Romania." The Chinese Ambassador stated, adding a bit of slight sneer towards the Romanian seats, as if The Leviathan was an insignificant speck compared to him and his country.

"A motion has been raised, shall we put it to a vote?" The Russian ambassador stood and asked, using the clout of his country to practically usurp what should have been the Secretary-General's question.

Immediately the voting lights on the board behind the Secretary-General and President of the Assembly's desk lit up, the vote for an embargo was almost unanimous; though there were about thirty countries that voted against it or abstained due to their long term stances on neutrality. Ultimately, none of the small countries could afford to get in the combined crosshairs of the existing super powers; Romania would have to stand alone at this point.

Kofi Annan, grimly stood and smacked his gavel, "The motion has carried, an embargo will be placed on all goods and services coming in and out of Romania." The Secretary-General responded, before smacking his gavel again.

The eyes of every ambassador to the United Nations turned towards the Leviathan, who had remained standing the entire time.

Reaching down to help Tara stand from her chair with one hand while grabbing up his briefcase with the other, Xander wrapped his arm around her and the two floated out of their seat, down the aisle, and then out into the center of United Nations Assembly.

Setting Tara down lightly, Xander turned and set his briefcase down on a table before opening it and reaching inside.

Pulling out a little black box with a red button on it, Xander turned to the audience before him while simultaneously pushing said red button.

Psyching himself up for the 'part' he was about to play, Xander talked to himself inside his helmet, "Ok Xander, you're only talking to the representatives of every government in the world, you already convinced the people of Romania to follow you, so this shouldn't be too hard." He continued to mumble as he looked at the angry faces pointed at him.

"Ok, so maybe it will be harder. Maybe I should do what the speech teacher always said in class, and imagine them naked?" Xander mumbled out loud in his helmet.

The image of the mostly pudgy and almost universally unattractive diplomats staring at the helmeted Xander suddenly appeared to be naked to Xander's eyes.

"Dah! Jarvis! I said imagine, not image! Change the image back to clothed! For god sake turn off the X-ray vision." Xander commanded inside his helmet, the only outward show that the something was going on in the mind of the Leviathan was that he took an odd step backwards and looked down at the box with the big red button before again looking back at the gathered Ambassadors.

Taking a deep breath and mentally cursing his photographic memory, Xander spoke to the gathered hostile crowd, "If you will embargo me, I too will embargo you." Xander replied as he turned and put the black box back into the briefcase. "What you just saw me activate were the defenses surrounding my country, Romania is now cut off from the rest of the world via ground transportation, and my air force will restrict all air traffic attempting to enter the space over Romania; that includes all satellite traffic, which from the new angry looks that I'm getting from the U.S. and Russian Ambassadors means that they have just been informed that all of their expensive spy satellites orbiting over my country no longer exist."

This statement brought about some mumbling, but The Leviathan didn't stop to let them cast dispersions on him or his actions. "Some of you may be questioning what this has to do with you and your smaller countries, you may be saying to yourself, 'I have no satellites and don't travel through Romanian airspace or do trade with Romania, how can this possibly hurt me?' Well, I will tell you."

The Leviathan announced, his voice rising as he began to pace before the gathered world leaders; a holographic image lit up from within the depths of the briefcase and its images were broadcast to all of the representatives.

By this point, the news stations from around the world were also tuning in to this history happening in the United Nations.

"You embargo me? Fine! None of your citizens will be eligible for my cures." The Leviathan announced, gesturing towards the image behind him which flashed between visuals of children having their cancer cured and their hair re-grown, or people having fully functioning limbs reattached, or the disabled getting up out of wheelchairs.

The pictures stunned the world, but the words coming from the Leviathan were like hammer blows. "There will be no cure for cancer for you, no cure for AIDS, Malaria, plague or disabilities. I've cured old age and helped the lame to walk, and your people will not gain the benefit of it because of your actions; I hope your President and his party enjoy their next election U.S. Ambassador, because they played a leading role in stopping the citizens of the United States from seeing their loved ones survive their diseases." The Leviathan finished at the end making a comment towards the grey faced and shaken U.S. representative who was watching his career flushed down the drain.

The crowd attempted to cry out, the African country delegations were beginning to be especially loud in crying for relief from AIDS, the volume was rising in the room as people shouted at the Leviathan to share the gifts, or that the world deserved the cures he held.

"Silence!" The Leviathan ordered, and the full power of a major Spark came to play as the audience immediately shut their mouths and sat back in their seats like somebody had cut their puppet strings.

"There is no hunger in my Romania, or Crime, or Pollution. Energy is readily abundant and my people want for nothing, and I will not share any of my gifts with a pack of petulant bullies who are too busy fighting over who has the largest dick to focus on what is best for the world and your people." Xander continued, unknowingly mirroring the private sentiments of the Secretary-General.

"I will not invade you or attack you as long as you don't attack me. I will hold you accountable for any subversive or undercover operations you attempt to use against me, no matter how many go betweens you use. I follow the path of peace through power. If you can't leave me in peace, I will do everything in my power to make it so that you never bother me again. But I repeat that I'm not looking for a fight with you all and I abhor war. Let this be noted that you and your nuclear arsenals do not scare me at all." The Leviathan menaced, this statement had the entire assembly on their feet yelling questions and demands for answers or access to The Leviathan's cures and technology.

Their cries were stifled by a blue zapping sound and flash of light forming about four feet away from where Xander stood.

Walking out of the blue energy portal stepped the hulking behemoth form of The Grey Knight, whose scary visage focused down on the short little humans in the audience before turning to face The Leviathan.

In the voice of Darth Vader, the Grey Knight chuckled, "He he he. I see that you are once again having fun with politics cousin." The Grey Knight said to The Leviathan, his deep voice seeming to rumble in a way that it was clearly heard even in the furthermost corners of the upper balcony of the United Nations Assembly room.

The Leviathan turned towards the Grey Knight and black helmeted face looked up towards the skeletal helmet, "Well, you did make a mess of Romania after you wiped out the Vampires and scared most of the other demon spawn into hiding. If you would just clean up after yourself I wouldn't have to keep taking over and making sure that you don't leave any more chaos in your wake than you normally do." The Leviathan responded, a bit of humor coming through his voice with a bit of chastisement.

By this time the combined leaders of the world were stunned to see probably the weirdest family reunion in history taking place right before them.

Chuckling again to himself, the laughter sounding like deep church bells tolling, the Grey Knight continued the banter, "Well, you do such a good job of cleaning up my messes, and you were born to lead, even if that Hobbes character did get some of it wrong when describing you. The only nasty brutish and short things I see here are politicians. Are you still sure that the politicians are not demon spawn that I should wipe out of existence?" Though there was humor in the statement, the look that the hulking armored and armed figure gave the politicians was anything but kind as the Grey Knight's eyes seemed to flash deeper red for a second when looking towards Dr. Walling and the American Ambassador; Doctor Walling lost control of her bowels and bladder at the same time at the intensity of the look. If Xander only knew, his embarrassment of her and scaring her had just cemented Dr. Walling's ill will against all meta-humans.

"No no, none of that. I'm sure they will all play nice eventually. Speaking about playing nice, why are you here?" The Leviathan questioned the Grey Knight after gazing over the crowd, inside Xander's helmet he smirked at the antics of the American Ambassador as the man was busy pushing Dr. Walling away from him while at the same time trying not to soil himself with her waste products.

The Grey Knight waved his hand in the air, and three portals opened up in the air, and several bodies dropped to thud to the ground; some of the bodies moaning, some of them smoking slightly, and several of them just laying their limply. With that all of the blue portals snapped shut again.

The delegates to the United Nations began to yell and there were screams from several of the female members of the audience, but the combined looks of The Leviathan and The Grey Knight quickly quashed any continued outcry.

"These are some of the infiltrators who attempted to breach the boundary of your country, cousin. The moaning ones are the Americans, the unconscious ones are the Russians, and those two slightly smoking ones are all that is left of the team of Chinese that attempted to breach the new lightning moat that you've installed along Romania's boarder. Apparently they were trying to cross when you activated your defense systems." The Grey Knight detailed while gesturing to the different groups of bound and incapacitated individuals.

"The-The People's Republic of China disavows all knowledge or connection to any alleged infiltrators. We did not send anybody to infiltrate your country and you can't prove it!" The Chinese representative announced as he came to his feet, at first stuttering but then growing a backbone as he continued his statement; he ended with a smirk at The Leviathan because there wouldn't be enough proof to show that they were truly Chinese operatives.

Xander turned his helmeted visage away from the Grey Knight and swung to face down the Chinese ambassador who had the gall to smirk at him. In the brief moment that it took Xander to listen to the Chinese representative and turn to look at said scum sucking bureaucrat Jarvis quickly relayed to Xander's nano-clanks, and thus Xander's mind, the contents of the earlier intercepted message between the Chinese Ambassador and aide referring to actions commanded by Chang Fu from the Chinese held Oolong Island.

"I don't care about proof, but you can rest assured that there will be retribution for your trespass." Xander growled, the voice of the Leviathan growling out of the speakers on Xander's helmet. "Rest assured that there will be consequences for all of you who invade my country. Whether the proof is clean enough for the eyes of the world or not, I will hold you, the diplomats, politicians, and leaders directly responsible for your choices." Xander finished before turning back towards the table and closing the briefcase and picking it up.

"Come cousin, let us return to Romania, this place is starting to stink." The Leviathan stated, making a slight head motion towards Dr. Waller and then towards the Chinese Ambassador.

With that, a red portal and a blue portal opened up in front of The Leviathan and The Grey Knight. The Leviathan bowed his gorgeous assistant through the red portal before following her. The Grey Knight took one last moment to stare down the combined delegates before stepping through the blue portal; both portals closing and disappearing.

Behind The Leviathan and The Grey Knight they left a horde of world leaders in need of getting their shit together, both figuratively and literally, given the state of Dr. Walling.

* * *

The red and the blue portals appeared in the master bedroom of the Chateau in New Mechanicsburg. Out stepped Tara, The Leviathan, and then The Grey Knight before the portals closed and disappeared.

Xander stretched his arms up straight and popped his neck, turning from right to left while mentally telling his helmet to retract and his suit to transform into something a little less constricting.

Xander's suit morphed into a Hawaiian t-shirt and his pants turned into jeans, his black gloves receded off his hands and Xander stretched his fingers before casually turning towards The Grey Knight.

"Good job Castle, you play a mean Grey Knight." Xander stated with a smirk.

"Why thank you Xander." The Grey Knight stated out of its speakers, sounding exactly like Xander's voice. "Now if you don't mind, I'll send the armor back to the Castle to help on the retrofit of the defenses. I'd like to keep it close to my mainframe and the situation in the country in case I need to interfere with any more interlopers or big bads that decide to test out the boundaries. By the way, have you thought of a new name for me? Calling me Castle gets a bit confusing when you realize that I'm an imprint of your personality and knowledge, plus what with the Heterodyne Castle going by Castle." The armor questioned, being controlled by the computer and personality that Xander had put in the fortress formerly owned by Dracula but now being reworked.

Xander looked from the Grey Knight armor to Tara who had just let her hair down from the tight bun it had been in, shaking her head and causing her hair to cascade down her back.

Xander was understandably distracted, but forced himself to complete the conversation with the armor, and through the armor his new castle, "Well I've been bouncing ideas back and forth, but Voltron, GreySkull, or Cair Paravel just aren't original enough. I'll think of something, but right now I have to take care of some business or I'll never hear the end of it from her." Xander replied, again focusing on Tara as she strutted across the room to lay Xander's briefcase down on the floor next to his desk, making sure to bend over at the waist with her legs together, rear pointed towards Xander.

Xander gulped and waved The Grey Knight armor to get out of there, he watched Tara as she stood up and took her suit coat off, revealing a red silk chemise underneath it with the crests of her breasts peeking out from the top, both pale mounds being hugged by the silk material.

Xander swallowed again and quickly covered his eyes so that he wasn't distracted from what he had to do, it wouldn't do to make her angry at him or he would have to be ducking and dodging projectiles all of the time.

"Aunt Chateau, I'm home!" Xander yelled out, still keeping his hands tightly clasped over his eyes so that he wasn't distracted by the view in his room. Xander briefly peaked between his fingers and saw that Tara had just removed her bra from under the chemise, and now her breast swayed and moved tantalizingly under the silk top, every heeled step across the room doing things to Xander that caused blood flow problems.

Xander quickly clasped his fingers shut again to fully cover his eyes.

"Well it's about time, how was your time conquering the world?" The feminine voice of the Chateau issued to Xander from all around him.

"Pretty well so far, conquered my first country and told the world leaders to piss off, so all in all it went well for my first try." Xander answered, turning his head towards the ceiling and using his hands as blinders so that he couldn't see what was going on around him.

"Good good, and you conquered a new castle. Be sure to give it a name soon so that I know what to call my new grand nephew." The chateau ordered.

That statement made Xander's brain fart and freeze, '_Wait a second, does that mean I'm a father?' _He thought as his brain seemed to flicker and then flash to the blue screen of death.

Xander stood there, staring dumbly at the ceiling for a few moments.

A tongue licking the outside of Xander's ear lobe and a hand dragging nails lightly across his chest brought Xander's attention back to the here and now.

Shaking his head Xander looked down and watched Tara sashay away from him, now sans skirt and panties and wearing nothing but stockings, a garter belt, heels, a red silk chemise that swayed with her free breasts and the top only covered down to right above her belly button.

Xander's mouth was suddenly very very dry, and he found himself licking his lips.

"Well, um, well um… what was I saying?" Xander asked out loud as he couldn't move his gaze from Tara's perfect rear, the only thoughts in his head were, '_God, you could bounce a whole roll of quarters off of that!'_

"There there dear, I see that you are a bit preoccupied at the moment and its good that you get your stress out now rather than blowing up the moon or something. Make sure to stop by the library when you've worn your assistant out will you?" The Chateau laughingly commented, the sound of humor punctuated by a giggle at the end.

Xander licked his lips again, his eyes following Tara as she slowly walked up to the edge of the bed, she slowly spread one leg to the side, then the other, and then bent over at the waist and put both of her hands on the bed to look over her shoulder at Xander and lick her lips.

Xander's brain overloaded.

"Yeah sure, anything you say, I'll blow up the moon and then visit my assistant after I wear you out…" Xander mumbled as he started walking towards Tara, eyes firmly focused on her delectable rear and assets that were clearly on display; the leaning over gave Xander a perfect view right up the inside of the silk chemise at her dangling bosom.

The Chateau's feminine bell like laughter echoed through the mansion, but Xander wasn't paying attention to it any more.

**WARNING ADULT MATERIAL AHEAD, TURN AWAY NOW BY ORDER OF THE ADULT CONSPIRACY**

Walking forward, Xander slowly raised his hand out and ran it first over the globe of Tara's buttock before tracing it down her thigh and then over the front of her leg and up the V that Tara's pelvis naturally formed. Moving forward, Xander had the little bit of mental acumen needed to mentally order his clothing to fall off of him, which they did as they suddenly turned into silvery fluidic material that pooled off of his body and puddled onto the floor before sliding under the bed.

Naked, Xander traced his other hand up Tara's back, under the chemise and ran his nails up the sides of her spine.

The sensation caused a mixture of almost electric pleasure and tickles to shoot through Tara's body, and she found herself gasping and arching her back towards Xander's touch; throwing her head back so that the hair that had been dangling over her shoulder cascaded down her back.

While holding her back towards him with one hand, Xander's other hand continued to trace up her back slowly, however the pent up stress and tension from the whole Dracula and Romania situation was just too much, and feeling Tara's softness was too much for Xander. Though it wasn't the full primal treatment, all men have an urge to dominate and lavish pleasure on their partner, both taking and receiving pleasure at the same time.

It was this urge that had Xander growl, his hand that had been lightly tracing up Tara's back slid through her hair and then circled around to lightly pull her to him, one hand pulling her hips back against his growing length while the other encircled her neck and pulled her shoulders back against his chest.

Tara gasped and moaned as she felt Xander's muscles ripple behind her as he seemed to fight his strength that would allow him to absolutely dominate and control her if he so wished. Still the growl caused her body to immediately be covered in goose-bumps, and the voice that growled in her ear made her so wet that she just wanted Xander to throw her over the bed and take her.

"Mine." Xander growled in her ear, before nipping her lobe with his teeth and then trailing little bites down her neck before lightly latching his teeth to the juncture between her neck and shoulder. The hand on her neck slid down to pin her arm to her side while cupping Tara's breast and clutching it firmly but not painfully, finger drawing a slow circle on her nipple.

Tara's reaction was to moan again and grind her rear back against Xander's full hardness. The silky softness of her flesh caused Xander to growl into her shoulder where he was biting and claiming her.

Leaning his weight forwards, Xander forced Tara to lean over the bed not unwillingly, the angle of her bend enough that he shifted back and miraculously lined up with her, sliding forwards into her as he released his bite and stood up to look at the beauty leaning on her elbows down on the bed before him.

Xander slowly withdrew and then slowly but powerfully pulled Tara back towards him, causing her to gasp and moan as he slid his length in and out of her.

Tara looking over her shoulder at Xander with smokey eyes only caused him to growl deeper as he picked up speed, the silent message of her eyes letting him know that she was enjoying him being in control.

Xander smirked back at her and picked up his speed, rapidly increasing the pace and keeping up full depth strokes but keeping it within human tolerances. Still, his instincts were taking over, so it was at the fifteen minute mark that Tara closed her eyes in pleasure, and then opened them to realize that she was no longer leaning on the bed but hovering four feet above it.

Tara laughed in combined pleasure and humor as Xander spun her around in mid air, turning in a barrel roll while still impaled on him. His super strength allowed him to move her about as if she weighed no more than a mere doll.

Wrapping her stocking clad legs around Xander's back, Tara sat up and joined Xander in a passionate kiss, tongues dueling to end with light nips at each other's lips as they smiled at each other, the whole time Xander using his superior strength to pull her up and down his length as she kept her long legs wrapped around him. Tara's hands played with his hair and her nails grazed up his back as he continued to control the lustful ride, their lips continuing to mold to one another.

The minutes continued to pass in playful and pleasure filled activity. However the aerial gymnastics were quickly coming to climax, as Xander's growls were now mixed in with stifled moans as he concentrated on holding out and prolonging the pleasure as long as possible while Tara was shivering through miniature orgasms; each one causing her to moan louder and louder.

Closer and closer they came, both rocking and thrusting their bodies together, striving together for mutual release. Tara was the first to draw close, as a low deep wail started to build in her chest and a red flush started in between her breasts and grew towards her neck. She started fluttering inside, and all of Xander's concentration on lasting longer went out flew out the door at the incredible feelings of pleasure he was getting.

It started out as a growl in his chest that matched her wail, it turned into a roar with his release, Tara's eyes grew larger as she felt Xander swell inside her, then with a rush, both male deep roar and female high pitched scream twined together in ecstasy as the pleasure of each joined together in a synergistic orgasmic climax.

Tara went limp in Xander's arms twitching and clenching herself around him, arms struggling to cling to his neck. Xander thrust once, twice, and on the third stroke buried himself as deeply as he could into her, and let out an animalistic roar as the pleasure caused him to spend himself inside of her.

The moment of pleasure seemed to last forever yet at the same time was too short, the type of pleasure hedonists strive to gain but rarely succeed in winning for more than a moment. In the end, Tara was draped around Xander, legs limply wrapped around his hips and her head laying on his shoulder, little tender kissing being planted on his neck and shoulder as she struggled to regain her breath.

Xander had a content look on his face. It was one of the few moments of pleasure where the nonstop rampage of tangential thoughts and voices in his head was quieted. Ok, not fully quieted, as a little voice in the back of his head yelled out, _'Woo Hoo! Way to go Dude! Now you just have to work on the harem.'_

**WE NOW RETURN YOU TO THE STORY, PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN**

As Xander floated above the bed after his latest gymnastics, he ignored that little voice inside as his recent activity with Tara took the urgency off of any need to fulfill the little voice's dreams of a harem.

Xander smiled to himself as he stroked Tara's hair and held her in his arms while hovering above the bed. He noticed the mark that he had left on her neck, and a melancholy feeling of happiness mixed with sadness went through him as he realized that, '_Yes, Tara is mine. But she isn't going to be nearly as long lived as I am. Whereas my healing factors very well may make me immortal, she will grow old and maybe one day die if she so chooses or if fate decides for us.' _Xander thought somewhat sadly.

It was impossible to be completely sad though, not with Tara still wrapped around him. With command born more out of instinct than conscious thought, Xander hugged Tara to him and rotated them in the air until they were horizontal, and then lowered them to the bed. Xander took a moment to relieve Tar of her heels, and pulling the sheets up, Tara snuggled into Xander's shoulder and both closed their eyes.

Tara's breathing was the first to go into that sleep stage, but Xander wasn't far behind.

Xander's last thoughts before going to sleep were, _'What a long week, I need to take a vacation.'_

* * *

While Xander was sleeping, his Castle back in Romania was having fun messing with the teams of special forces and spies that were trying to enter the country.

'He he he he, trying to enter by sea are we? Ok, off to the middle of the Indian ocean with you." The Castle cackled somewhat madly as it caused a transporter to snatch up the team of frog men and then dropped them out into the middle of an ocean half way around the world.

The AI of Xander's main fortress, if an Artificial Intelligence is what it could be called given that it was as alive as the Castle Heterodyne or the Cheateu in New Mechanicsburg, was reading sensors and information coming in from miniature clanks hidden throughout the country and along the borders as well as from the Starscream units that flew up above. Additional sensors were being deposited in the earth and landscape around the country as fast as they were made in order to act as additional eyes and ears for the Castle and Xander in their effort to protect the country.

As for the few spy satellites that had attempted to breach Romania's boarders or glance down on the country, the Castle had gotten tired of playing a real life version of space invaders and just started teleporting hacking clanks up into space to hijack the satellites. Romania had just created its own spy satellite system, courtesy of the United States NSA and the other countries satellite departments who dared to steer their satellites above Romania.

The world powers were trying desperately to get a view of what was going on inside Romania, but it was beginning to bore the Castle doing the same thing. It was simple repetition and it was getting boring: find a group, transport them to Antarctica, the top of Mt. Everest, or into the woman's locker room for the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. Ok, that last one never got boring.

The Castle was trying to find some enjoyment in its work; it had even gone so far as to turn off sections of the lightning moat in order to dare enemy forces to cross it.

"Ok, shutting down the tesla coils and lightning generators in section 42A." The Castle said to itself, apparently suffering from the same problem that Xander did in talking to himself.

"Wait for it… Wait for it…" The Castle said in anticipation, watching as several special forces groups in black combat gear and on black painted ATV's attempted to drive through the dead spot.

"Wait for it…" The Castle repeated.

Just before they cleared the moat, the Castle yelled, "Now!" The lightning generators came back to life in an instant, lightning bolts the size of a full grown man's torso shooting across and grounding themselves into the tallest thing between them and the ground; the humans on the ATV's.

"Yes! Got three with one bolt! Wow, look at that one, he left his shoes behind when he was blasted off the ATV." The Castle continued to speak. "Hey Armor, mark up another one for blasted out of shoes, I'm going to see if I can get somebody blasted out of their shoes and socks next time, maybe even their pants." The Castle ordered. In the room connected to the computer core, the armor of the Grey Knight turned towards a chalk board and made another tick mark next to 'Blasted out of shoes.'

The computer continued watching the boarder. Spotting a character aiming a rocket launcher at one of the lightning towers, possibly with the hopes of shutting it down and running through the gap in the defenses, the Castle yelled out, "Oh no you don't."

The transport system in the room hummed for a second, and at the same time a holographic display popped up in the room.

"Going to save this one for posterity, maybe a good message to email to the world powers who think about attacking the border." The Castle said.

On the screen a red flash of energy was shown right where the man stood; the man, rocket launcher, and a section of the earth all disappearing from where the man had been standing.

At the same time, high above in Earth's orbit and above the atmospheric level, a man carrying a rocket launcher and standing on a piece of turf appeared.

Transporting a little clank up near the man, the Castle caught the whole thing on video. The lack of gravity caused the man to twitch, firing the rocket that flashed by the little clank but sent the man into a tailspin in the near zero gravity environment. The spin wasn't the biggest problem for the guy, as decompression soon set in. Flesh turned red, blood vessels popped, yet nobody heard the man scream in the vacuum of space. The floating red droplets of blood and fluids sizzled and seemed to flash freeze in the coldness of space. The little clank was able to watch as the corpse, or what was left of it, slowly started to drift towards the first layer of the earth's atmosphere, no doubt on its way to burning up on reentry.

"Oooook. Maybe that's a little too gruesome to show to the general public, but I'll give it to Xander to use if he needs to frighten somebody." The Castle stated, doing its own impression of a verbal shrug.

"Now what should I do?" The Castle asked, noticing that all of the teams trying to get into the country had stopped for the moment, no doubt refusing orders to proceed given that it appeared that none had succeeded yet.

Panning through the views around the country's borders, the Castle finally saw something that made it smile.

High up, flying at about 50 to 60 thousand feet over Kasnia was a transport plane. Focusing in with the optics mounted on the original pylons spaced around Romania's borders the Castle was able to see that there was an American flag insignia on the plane.

"Yes! Initiating pre-programmed response to US in retaliation for embargo and invasion, operation 'Returning The Refuse' is a go." The Castle said, this time in a more mechanical voice than usual as one of Xander's preprogrammed directives kicked in.

High above Kasnia, Agent Jim Bind of the CIA was strapping himself into a blade, a small, one manned stealth glider that would allow him to quickly zip across the border into Romania. The jump master checked the man's straps, gave him a thumbs up, the light went green and Agent Bind went sliding off the ramp of the plane and into a free fall; the wings on his blade quickly deployed and he shot like a bullet from a gun at the border of Romania.

Smiling to himself, Agent Bind though, _'There's no way that they will be able to intercept me in the air with their fighters, and by the time they realize I'm on the ground I will have already seamlessly blended into the population. Hopefully this will be like my other missions and I'll be 'blending' with some hot Romanian government agent who is willing to betray her country and tell me their secrets all due to my good looks and long penis.'_

Alas, such was not to be for Agent Bind, for as soon as he hit the border a red flash took place right in front of him.

Agent Bind only had a moment to think, _'Oh Shit!' _before he went head first into the President's desk in the oval office, traveling at about two hundred miles an hour; or rather the desk was the last thing to go through Agent Bind's head.

Speaking about shit, it would be a while before anybody could find the agent's body as after he flew into the Oval office of the White House, the Castle redirected the septic systems for the castle to dump two tons of semi fluid and oh so chunky human waste through the portal and into said office.

The Pièce de résistance was a white wooden sign on a long sharp post that shot out of the portal and embedded itself in the office floor, the sign standing clear of the waste.

The sign read, "Keep your shit out of our country, and we will keep our shit out of yours."

It was too bad that Agent Bind had to die, but the United States couldn't say that they hadn't been warned.

Similar lessons on watching who you defecate with were provided to Russia, the United Kingdom, France, Germany, and several of Romania's other neighbors when their agents attempted to parachute over the border into Romania.

As for The People's Republic of China and its original bar-b-cued agents, well Xander had special plans for them and Oolong Island.

Perhaps, just perhaps, Xander could even gain an ally in another Meta-human ruler when Xander taught the Chinese a lesson in not to screw with him or his people.

* * *

**AN: Well the chapter needed to be there, and I've set it up for Xander's vacation and a little lesson to the Chinese. Don't like to give spoilers, so that's all you're going to get at the moment. I've hit 17 chapters on this story; I'm tied up with my Freak of Nature story. I'm trying to figure out which one of my stories to work on next, perhaps I'll catch Aspects of Death up to this one and Freak? Let me know what you think.**


	18. Chapter 18: One of Those Days

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real. The Ambassador from Romania is made up.

**AN: Sorry it took so long to update, but I had a lot of kinks to work out on the story flow and what I wanted to happen in the next couple of chapters. Basically this story started out of a rabid plot bunny that mutated into a short story, that then mutated into a long story, which has the possibilities of mutating into a series if I so choose and enthusiasm stays strong for the story. With that in mind I wanted to make sure that I didn't paint myself into a corner and that the plot ideas that spawned this story can still come to life. That's right, I have several very large situations that are from DC Comics and Girl Genius cannon that I want to work into Xander's life, it just gets complicated when I try to keep honest with timelines and try to weave them all in and still keep the story fun. I like a hero that succeeds, but I also want to keep Xander away from becoming a Gary Stu where everything goes perfectly for him and he always gets the girl while coming away totally unscathed. This is Xander that we are talking about, and beside Harry Potter, I don't know another character whom Fate, Lady Luck and Mr. Murphy like to mess with more than Xander Harris. With that said, I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

**AN: I'm going to eventually be finding one or two long term love interests for Xander, props to anybody who calls it before I actually work the women into the story. Feel free to place your bets in the reviews or via private message and I'll give you props in the chapter where the answer(s) are given.**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

**Chapter 18: One of Those Days**

"If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos…then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation."  
~The Office

For the Justice League, the day after The Leviathan addressed the United Nations started out pretty much normal for the heroes; which the average person would think was odd given that a country had disappeared, reappeared and changed political structures. But the reality of the situation was twofold.

One, the Justice League really didn't get involved in international politics where human life was not threatened. Sure some soldiers and intelligence figures had gotten killed in the coup, but the sad truth was that coups happened and the heroes of the Justice League didn't take political sides when nations changed governments. Heck, Batman, Superman and a slew of other heroes had been to enough alternate dimensions/earths where the heroes interfered in the actions of every day humans, and as a result of those experiences the Justice League had come up with strict rules that they would let the normal humans live their lives free of interference for the most part. It wasn't the place of heroes like Superman to play 'Big Brother,' even if they had X-ray vision that would make it easy. The fact that the Romanian people were healthy, happy with the situation and seemed to fully support the current government was the main concern. As long as the Leviathan didn't go about trying to invade his neighbors, then all should be good as far as the Justice League was considered.

Second, the heroes were just too busy to actively interfere with what was currently a 'peaceful' situation. If you take into account the constant actions by the already active group of super villains that plagued Metropolis, Gotham, New York and every other city in the United States let alone the world, then add in the normal every day muggings and criminal activities that needed to be thwarted, the Heroes were swamped busy. This busy work schedule was further compounded by world and environmental catastrophes.

For example, the day after Romania appeared again Superman had to deal with one bank heist, two car chases, one flood in Ethiopia, an armed robbery of aid workers in Nicaragua and Mrs. O'Leary's cat stuck in a tree, all before lunch. This isn't to say that he didn't think about the situation in Romania and at the United Nations. Superman, aka Clark Kent, was a reporter for the Daily Planet and thus had to keep his day job; so he wrote an editorial piece about the happenings at the United Nations and about the information trickling out of Romania. At the same time he set the computers in the Fortress of Solitude to review the existing data they had on The Leviathan and The Grey Knight.

At the same time that Superman was doing all this, Batman was hot on the trail of the Joker who had, once again, broken out of Arkham Asylum and was again threatening to unleash another madcap crime wave throughout Gotham. Between Bruce's detective work in trying to capture the Joker, the nightly patrols of the city and the approximately three to four hours of sleep Bruce Wayne was able to grab in between running his company and playing the role of the playboy, he didn't have much time to devote to the whole Romania situation. That isn't to say that Batman's interest hadn't been piqued by The Grey Knight showing up and claiming family ties to the new ruler of Romania, though the family resemblance was hard to judge given the armor and helmets. Already the super computer in the Batcave was looking over historical references between the mark of the Grey Knight and Romania, and Bruce had been intrigued to note that there were historical traces of a noble Romanian family bearing the crest and the black banner. Bruce had marked the items of note and forwarded them on to the hero known as 'The Question' for further review and investigation. That was about all the time Batman had to give to the situation as unlike the other heroes in the Justice League, Batman was only a normal man. An incredibly bright, skilled, and talented man, but one without super powers that would enable him to travel great distances in a short period of time or work without sleep, food, or a break to rest.

Speaking of great distances in a short period of time, at the same time that the other heroes were busy, The Flash chased down two car driving felons, intercepted three drug smuggling speed boats (while at sea and at full speed), knocked out Mirror Master before he could escape into a mirror and disarmed several bank robbers in several different U.S. states; and that was all before breakfast. Frankly, The Flash was bored with his lazy day and nothing to do. Thus Wally West was currently running from Sparkbucks to Sparkbucks all around the world, using his speed to get around the 'one drink limit' that had been put into place for him after The Flash had 'gone to plaid' the first time. By this time that was a lot of Sparkbucks to visit as every major democratic country had multiple Sparkbucks in their large cities and many small cities and towns had at least one of the coffee shops. Truly, Xander's coffee shops were spreading throughout the world and dominating the coffee market. Thus, like a true addict trying to achieve the equal of that initial buzz, The Flash was spending his day traveling from store to store to get more doses of that perfectly blended caffeinated purity called spark roast coffee. Wally West was merging in and out of the speed force, never quite getting enough caffeine to fully harness the speedsters power source, but continuing to try. This isn't to say that Wally was only thinking of himself and his caffeine addiction. Due to the increase in speed from the spark roast coffee The Flash was able to catch up on his entire backlog of fan mail from seven years, read 'War and Peace' to improve his mind, and take up and perfect the hobby of scrap booking. Wally thought it was nice to have his Christmas gifts planned out in advance, and Wally hoped that Batman appreciated the fact that he had gone to the trouble of finding a bat shaped paper punch for Batman's commemorative Justice League Christmas scrapbook.

As a more sedate member of the Justice League, J'onn the Martian Manhunter was busy taking care of monitor duty and was contemplating the nature of humanity, both of which would be more than a fulltime job for most individuals.

Meanwhile, The Question was snipping off the aglets from the laces of the shoes found in the closets of the Justice League Watchtower; ignoring the fact that the shoes belonged to the other heroes but confident that they would all thank him later when the sinister motives behind said aglets was exposed. After finishing the culling of the aglets, The Question had plans to expose several granola-bar producing companies as being secret government brain washing operations, and then start the infiltration of Romania.

Shayera Hol, aka Hawkgirl, was in her quarters planning a date with John Stewart, the Green Lantern, when a gold statue of a hawk on her desk buzzed and then emitted a holographic image of a winged man wearing a Thangarian military helmet. She reported that the situation was continuing as planned, and then went back to planning her date as the holographic communicator ceased activity. She sorted through her clothes, growling when she saw the shirt that had played a prominent role in a certain viral video about 'Hawk-girls Gone Wild' and reminded herself to burn the outfit while she picked out a sundress and finished dressing for her picnic lunch date. Her day would be filled with time with John.

The Green Lantern had helped out Wonder Woman in dealing with a dam that had broken in Tennessee and was busy giving his head a fresh shave before his date with Shayera.

Zatanna was in Las Vegas doing a magic show at Caesar's Palace Casino, and the other assorted heroes were out doing the hero bit or dealing with a day in the life of their alter-ego.

Really, the only member of the Justice League who was involved at all with the Romania situation was Wonder Woman. As Ambassador to Man's World from the Amazonian people and the Island of Themyscira, Diana had spent most of the day communicating with her mother back and forth regarding what response they would have to the apparent 'change in ownership' of Romania. On one hand, the Romanian people were happy in the country and The Leviathan had stated that he followed the path similar to the Amazonians of peaceful but protective. This, added to the beneficial technologies that The Leviathan had shared with his people, would be a great boon to the Amazonian's goals of world peace if only he would share the benefits with the rest of the world. There lay the quirk in the situation, as the Amazons did not want to create a conflict with the governments of Man's World, and the United Nations had approved an embargo on Romania; an embargo that at the moment was tenuous as diplomats argued about how to force Romania to share its gifts, whether through strict tariffs or through completely dropping the embargo. Queen Hippolyta had urged her daughter to caution and patience as the Amazons did not want to make an enemy of either the governments of the World of Man or The Leviathan. Until The Leviathan showed his position on the Amazonians, the Amazonians would refrain from either helping or hindering the new Romanian ruler's efforts.

Thus, much like the reaction to Black Adam and his ruling of Kahndaq, the Justice League would mostly just wait and see what changes The Leviathan would bring.

* * *

On that same morning The Leviathan, aka The Grey Knight, aka Xander Harris (aka 'loser' if you asked Cordelia Chase) had awoken refreshed and finished his morning bathroom and breakfast routine. After his well rounded breakfast of Twinkies and Sparkroast coffee, Xander found his way down to the energy-field laboratory in the depths of his Chateau.

"Hmmm, if I bisect the directional feed and keep the energy initiation sequencers the same, dash in a bit of protonic energized molecules and a pinch of powers man was not meant to deal with, this should form an effective energy absorption field." Xander spoke to himself as he bent over the partially charred relay and transistor box of The Black Heterodyne's transportation device, it looked like two copper giant Van Der Graaf generators with a space between them of about six feet, the former precursors to Xander's transporter technology with a relay box attached to them by power conduits. The blue and red sparks of Xander's welding torch and digital electro-spanner illuminated Xander's face, showing that he was wearing a pair of vintage welding goggles and that his tongue was sticking out of his mouth while he thought and welded. He was wearing a simple pair of blue jeans and a white t-shirt and was oblivious to the sparks that splashed on his pants and made small burn marks on the denim material.

Plugging the feeder cable of one of the proton accelerator packs into the device and double checking the connections to the giant field projection probes and the Chateau's electric system, Xander added a few more welds before smiling to himself and taking a few steps back to admire his handy work.

Though the wiring in the transistor box looked shoddy (a weird mixture of antiquated vacuum tubes, transistors, Tandy home computer parts, a hamster wheel and some bailing wire) Xander had a good feeling that it would work.

"Not bad, not bad at all if I do say so myself." Xander said to himself, proud that he had been able to put together one of his more complicated ideas in one morning.

'_And to think, I didn't even cackle manically once while making it.'_ Xander thought to himself, his smile growing across his face.

'_What a shame. To think that you're using 1.21 gigawatts and yet no laughter. The other mad scientists would be ashamed of you.'_ A voice that sounded surprisingly like Dr. Brown from the 'Back to the Future' movies said in the back of Xander's head.

Xander just shook his head. "Bah! I don't need laughter to make sure that my experiments go off without a hitch." He answered out loud, and moved over to the power switch on the wall.

Keeping his goggles on, Xander subconsciously dropped one hand to cover and protect his family jewels, and then threw the switch on the wall to start the power flow to the device.

A loud 'Pop!' sound snapped across the room and issued out of the two eight foot tall copper probes as the charged molecules were formed and energized between them, causing Xander to instinctually duck and cover at the sharp sound of what his brain told him must have been the air being displaced almost instantaneously.

Chagrined at himself for ducking, Xander mentally chided himself, _'Should have stuck with tradition; maniacal laughter from now on just to make sure that the invention works and the laws of physics remember they're still my bitch.'_

It wasn't something that Xander would have said out loud, but heh, he was a mad sparky genius after all, and what is a mad genius without a bit of inner monologue. With that going through his head, he moved towards the newly generated field and examined the almost glassy looking clear energy barrier that was being created.

"Hmmm, I wonder what would happen if I poke it with a stick?" Xander verbally pondered before doing just that.

After a cautious poke, and then a double poke with a long stick that had once been a table leg, Xander smirked to himself.

"Heh. It works!" Xander smiled and shouted to himself in joy. A gleam came to his eyes and he chucked the table leg at the field to see if it would withstand the increased force.

Xander whipped the leg at the barrier with all his super strength, his smile only getting larger as the table leg seemed to burst into splinters as it hit the barrier, the pieces of wood falling to the ground around the metal probes in the form of splintered bits and pieces.

Xander wandered over towards the machine that he had made, and checked the gauges to see what the energy consumption was like. A ticker tape readout showed Xander that the power usage was stable, except for when force was applied to the surface. Then the readings got weird, as the field took less power to form rather than more upon the point of impact. Somehow the energy field was absorbing a portion of the power of the kinetic energy and using it to fuel the field.

Xander's eyebrow raised, "Wow, if I could get the energy absorption rate up to perfect or greater than parity, I could make a perpetual shield or maybe even some sort of energy generator. Wa Ha ha ha ha! Physics is my bitch! Take that perpetual energy doubters." Xander cackled to himself manically, doing his best to once again remain true to mad scientist traditions.

"Chateau, I need a Toast-Master 2000 and a pistol of some sort sent down to my lab." Xander yelled at the ceiling, a definite gleam to his eye.

"Yes Xander, any specific gauge or model of pistol?" The feminine voice of the Chateau questioned back at him.

"Surprise me." Xander quipped back, in a joyful mood given that it seemed he'd invented a force-field.

A second later a purple flash of energy appeared over the work bench in the room and a Toast-Master 2000 was left lying on the table; it appeared that the Chateau was experimenting with changing the colors of the light spectrum that appeared when she used her transporter array.

Letting his goofier side come out, Xander walked over to the Toast-Master 2000, picked it up and flicked it to the 'ON' setting before swinging to point the barrel at the energy field.

"Hasta La Vista… Babe." Xander quipped, trying to do an imitation of Arnold Schwarzenegger in 'The Terminator,' while squeezing the trigger.

The plasma ball shot across the room and impacted the force field in a flash of fire and light, the shield lit up like a magnesium flare in a blast of white light as it dispersed a lot of the absorbed energy into the visual spectrum.

"Gaaaahh!" Xander gasped and turned his eyes away, glad that he was still wearing the welding goggles as it had probably saved his vision.

"Damn, I'm going to have to figure out some way of bleeding off the energy." Xander stated as he saw that the once almost clear energy field continued to glow bright white for about half a minute before the light started to bleed off as the imparted energy was used up by the field.

A turquoise flash appeared over the work bench, this time depositing a small caliber pistol.

Xander walked over to the work bench and looked down at the pistol.

"Heh, funny Chateau." Xander stated, putting the Toast-Master down and picking up the Walter PPK.

Xander picked up the small caliber pistol, "My name is Harris, Xander Harris." He stated, doing a horrible impression of Sean Connery playing the part of James Bond. Keeping with the theme Xander walked perpendicular to the force field and then spun on his heels and fired the gun at the energy field, acting just like the opening credits of the 007 movies.

Just as he fired his gun, Xander heard behind him, "Xander, Xander can you hear me?" In Willow's voice.

Turning quickly to swivel around and look behind him, Xander's startled face took on a wide eyed pained look, as he turned just in time to receive the ricocheted bullet right in the ass.

* * *

After the assumed death of Xander, things in Sunnydale hadn't been all rosy and puppy dog tails. The reality of the night had finally caught up with Buffy and the gang, and the blonde slayer mourned both the loss of her love interest and the friend who had saved her life and fought beside her. Both Buffy and Willow's depression had been so deep and debilitating that after two weeks of no slaying patrol Giles had stooped to the level of buying a box of Twinkies just to get a reaction from the two girls.

The box of Twinkies had definitely received a reaction, as Buffy broke Giles' glasses with a right hook before falling into his arms in tears. Willow's reaction was a bit more dramatic as her magic had expressed itself, and in her deep morning she somehow connected with the earth magic and the world seemed to weep as Sunnydale experienced rain for a straight week; something unheard of in Sunnydale for that time of the year. Still, both girls had finally been able to open up about their feelings and started to heal, though being at the school continued to be difficult due to all the reminders of Xander. For whatever reason, Xander must have left a big impression on the hearts and minds of the students at Sunnydale High for though most people who died were soon forgotten, at Xander's disappearance the school seemed to change and react. People actually remembered Xander and wondered what had happened to him. This caused ramifications to spread throughout the school. The bullies like Larry actually apologized after giving Jonathan a swirly, Cordelia's barbed comments didn't have their same pizzazz or sting, and flowers and letters started to show up sporadically around Xander's former school locker; a locker which was not reassigned to any new students and which took on the image of a shine for the king of cretins and class clown.

This isn't to say that Willow had given up hope, no way. In true Willow fashion, she buried herself in research, trying to find a way to bring her Xander shaped friend back to them and to save his soul from whatever hell dimension that he had been cast into. Surprisingly Ms. Calendar, the computer science teacher, had approached the remaining Scoobies and Giles and told them about who she really was and why she was in Sunnydale. Though Buffy was angry at first about the deception, Buffy's anger rapidly turned to hope as Jenny Kalderish had quickly offered to use her clan's contacts and her own magic to help search for the lost Xander.

All of that research and spiritual power was now focused on a circle in the center of the library, a circle and runes drawn in yellow crayon with Twinkies set at the five corners of the pentagram and an Orb of Thesulah in the middle.

"But Giles, what do we do if he is in a hell dimension? What do we do if he is in heaven and doesn't want to come back? I want my Xander shaped friend back and miss him so much." Willow babbled to Giles as he and his girlfriend Jenny finished putting the Twinkies in the proper positions to help form a mystic connection to Xander.

Giles finished setting out the Twinkies and then removed his glasses and polished them, "Calmly now Willow. The ritual has been checked over by Jenny's clan elders and it should work to connect us with Xander's soul. If for some reason his soul is in hell we will attempt to bind it to the orb and then remake his body. You have to remain calm though, for we will need your power to help bridge the gap to wherever he is." Giles firmly stated, replacing his glasses.

Willow gave a few deep breathes to calm herself, and then took her position at the head of the circle and pentagram. The three magic users assumed their positions, Buffy just watched in the background, shifting her weight from one foot to the other with nervous energy but unable to participate due to her own lack of magic.

Jenny Kalderish started the chant, "Este scris, această putere este dreptul poporul meu de a conduce."

Willow took over then, "Nici mort, nici al fiinţei, Te invoc spirit al trecerii, Te implor, Doamne; nu ignoră aceasta rugăminte, Lăsa orbită să fie vasul te invoc sufletul, Este scris, aceasta putere este dreptul poporul meu de a conduce, Aşa să fie, cu ajutorul acestui magic glob de cristal. Aşa să fie! Aşa să fie!  
Acum! Acum!"**1**

With that last chant, a swirling golden light flashed from the orb in the middle of the circle, and the Twinkies at the corners powdered into dust and disappeared.

Willow reached out and picked up the glowing magic crystal ball, and talked into it hesitantly, as if it was a mystical teleconference microphone.

"Xander, Xander can you hear me?" Willow questioned.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Xander's blood curdling scream answered in reply.

Willow's eyes shot open in horror and she immediately devolved into Willow-Babble, "OhMyGod! Xander'sInHellAndTheyAreTorturingHim! WeNeedToSaveHim! OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod! She started hyperventilating.

"Son of a bitch! Mother fucker that Hurts! Got to get that out of my Ass!" Xander's voice continued to issue from the crystal ball. The looks on Jenny Kalderish and Gile's faces turned pasty white as all sorts of imagined thoughts of Xander being tortured with pitchforks and pineapples up the rear-end filtered through their heads.

"Good lord." Giles muttered, quickly removing his glasses and polishing them in his handkerchief till they were polished to a high gloss shine.

Jenny looked like she would get sick at the groans of pain and curse words that continued to flow from the crystal ball.

"Don'tWorryXander! We'llSaveYou!" Willow continued to babble, quickly yelling encouragements to Xander to 'hang on' through the crystal ball.

Suddenly the moans and groans coming from the crystal ball stopped.

"Wait a second… Willow, are you there?" Xander's voice issued clearly from the crystal ball.

"WeHearYouXander! We''sTheLastThingWeDo!" Willow cried back in reply, still talking a mile a minute.

"Woah, Woah Willow. Take a deep breath and slow down. One second, let me grab a pair of needle nose pliers and get this bullet out of my ass cheek." Xander said through the magical ball.

Willow continued to almost hyperventilate, but a hand on her shoulder from Jenny helped to get her into a deep breathing set, almost like she was doing Lamaze breathing. The sounds of squelching and a muffled groan almost caused her to hyperventilate again but Jenny's hand on her shoulder helped to keep Willow somewhat calm.

"I say Xander, are you alright?" Giles stated, leaning forwards to talk into the crystal ball.

His answer was a muffled grunt and then, "Ah Ha! Got it. Whew, much better. Mental note, no shooting myself in the ass again." Xander's voice replied.

"Now, where were we…? Oh yeah, Willow, how the hell are you guys talking to me?" Xander questioned.

Willow explained, again going into babble mode, and it was only through years of Willow translation training that Xander understood that the remaining Scoobies had cast a spell to connect to him.

"Well relax a bit, I'm not in a hell dimension, but I can't come home at the moment." Xander explained after getting a much too detailed description of the ritual that had been used to call him; he felt a moment of sadness for the Twinkies that had given their lives in order to complete the call.

"What do you mean you're not in a hell dimension? And why can't you come home? Now that we know where you are we can see about opening a portal or something and calling you home." Willow answered confidently, overly sure of herself in her naivety and new found magical powers.

"Well, you see there are two problems with that plan. One, Magic won't work on me due to some stuff that's recently happened, and two, I seem to have drawn the attention of a vertically challenged alternate dimensional being with enough power to make any of the big bad's we've dealt with look like a bunch of pre-schoolers in a diaper soiling contest." Xander responded with chagrin.

"Good Lord." Giles stated, and he was once again buffing his glasses to a high gloss shine.

"Xander, this is Ms. Calendar. Just what type of a being are we talking about, and where exactly are you?" Jenny asked, interrupting as it seemed that Willow was still trying not to hyperventilate while Giles was in deep thought and polish glasses mode.

"Hey Ms. C!" Xander replied happily, glad to hear several familiar voices that he hadn't been sure he would ever hear again. "Well, try 5th dimensional being… Wait a second, you're a computer teacher. Perhaps you are geeky enough to understand comic book lingo. Have you ever heard of DC Comics and about a magical midget that used to bother Superman?" Xander attempted to explain.

Jenny's face was pensive, and she looked over at Willow and Giles to see if either of them knew what he was talking about; she didn't even try to see if Buffy knew as the slayer was now sitting down on the floor next to them with a clearly befuddled look on her face.

Willow had a gestalt moment, and quickly answered back, "Wait, do you mean Mr. Mxyzptlk? But he's just a comic book character that you and Jesse used to talk about."

"Right and wrong, Mr. Mxyzptlk seems to like the chaos around me, and that's not just a comic book, because I'm here in the DC Comics universe." Xander replied, his voice coming across as conflicted, as the Scoobies could tell that he wasn't completely sure what to think about his situation. The idea that Xander could be trapped in a comic book world had never been really guessed at when the Scoobies had discussed the possibilities of what happened to Xander.

The response kept the Scoobies quiet for a moment, but then Buffy spoke into the orb, "Xander, I miss my sidekick. How are you doing? Really?" She questioned, a deeper side of the normally bubbly blonde coming out as she talked pensively into the orb.

It was silent for a moment, but then Xander responded, "Honestly? I miss you guys a lot and wish I was home or at least with you. On the other hand, I'm not a sidekick here Buff. Here, I'm the one with the super powers and enough brains to give Willow a run for her money." It was quiet for a moment, as if Xander was finished, but then he continued, "Truthfully, I'm needed here. I wouldn't say I was the classic hero and out there with Superman or Wonder Woman saving the day, but I do have people who look up to me here and need me. Guess I've left the slacker ways behind and had to get all responsible and stuff, what with the powers that I have left over from Halloween." He finished, and you could hear the goofy smirk in Xander's voice.

Mixed emotions flashed over the faces of those gathered, and they were silent for a moment until suddenly Willow's head nodded like she was falling asleep and then shot back up again.

"Woah, I suddenly don't feel so good." Willow stated, a sheen of sweat starting to form on her forehead.

Jenny quickly put her hand to Willows forehead and then looked at Giles, "The spell is starting to tax her strength, we will need to cut it off if you don't want her to sleep for a week." She informed Giles, who nodded back at his girlfriend.

"Xander," Buffy started.

"I heard Buffster. God it's good to hear your voices, I wish I could talk to you more, or even just get a hug, but I understand you've got to go…" Xander interrupted.

"Xander, we will continue to research ways to get you home," Giles began, only to be again cut off by Xander.

"No Giles, anything that gets me back to SunnyHell will probably have to be done from this side and with science. I've got responsibilities here that I have to take care of and couldn't come home right now anyway." Xander explained, the seriousness in his voice coming through clearly over the link.

Buffy smirked and looked over towards the orb held in the now noticeably wilting Willow, the orb's light starting to dim a bit, "Don't get all serious on us buster, we still need our Xander friend to be quick with the jokes and to defuse the pressure when it's totally the wrong time to be joking." Buffy quipped.

Xander's laugh came through the crystal ball, the volume raising and lowering as the light in the ball seemed to wax and wane, "No worries Buff, I'll still be there to tease you about your bleached brain and the G-man's tweed obsession." Came the humorous reply, both Buffy and Giles gave mock 'Hmph's', but you could see the slight smile on their faces. All of the Scoobies looked a bit more peaceful now knowing that Xander wasn't really dead.

"Will we be able to talk again?" Xander's serious comment split the momentary silence.

By this point Jenny had her arm wrapped around Willow and was holding the teenager in place so that she didn't faint. "Yes Xander, but we have to go right now. We'll try to contact you when Willow recovers and the moon is in its right phase." Giles answered.

The orb by now only had a bit of dusky light shining from it, and Willow was gasping just trying to hold onto the connection with Xander.

"Alright, I miss you guys. Stay safe, and don't forget to do the donut run before the research parties. I know how Willow gets when she doesn't have her sugar fix." Xander tried to joke, but the bit of sorrow trickled through his voice.

"By Xander, We miss you!" Buffy and Willow stated quickly, tears starting to trickle from their eyes. And like that, the connection failed and Willow fell forward, Giles and Jenny catching her as the Orb fell out of her fingers and rolled across the floor to be stopped by Buffy.

Buffy moved across the circle and hugged Willow, as both girls cried. Even Jenny had a few tears in her eyes, as the girls released a lot of pent up sadness that they had been holding in ever since Xander had disappeared on Halloween night.

Giles got up off the ground stiffly and put a hand lightly on Jenny's shoulder. She looked up at him and nodded, answering the unspoken question that she would look after the two girls. With that, Giles slowly walked back to his office to get a cup of tea and to deal with his own emotions in his own way.

There would be more than a splash of alcohol in Giles's teacup this night.

The girls would spend the next hour crying together and joking about Xander, but overall they were all happy to know that their friend was still alive.

* * *

Back at the Chateau, Xander slowly sank to his knees in the laboratory as the connection with his friends ended, his rear end totally healed. Long ago, he had promised himself that he would never cry when he was hurt, he would always be strong for his friends and he would also never give and cry due to the abuse heaped on him by his parents. Xander came close to breaking that promise as his longing for his friends went through his mind, but convinced himself it was just from the fumes from the potions in the lab next door.

Xander sat on the floor for about fifteen minutes, removing the goggles from his face and wiping at his eyes to get the stinging out of them while the energy field device hummed in the room a few feet from him.

His thoughts were on his friends, but slowly Xander pulled himself together and walked over towards the machine and let his hands begin to tinker with the inner workings while his brain continued to go over memories of Willow, Buffy, Giles and their times together.

Being that he was a mad scientist, Xander hadn't turned the machine off or cut the energy. However even with his thoughts primarily focusing on his friends far away, he was still able to dodge the sparks of electricity that jumped about the inner workings of the machine as he disconnected and inserted a bypass switch and several gauges that would allow him to modulate the harmonics of the energy field.

Xander's work caused him to start humming, first a sad song, and then a goofy song as memories of past activities in Sunnydale came to him. It was a cathartic experience as he was able to expel some of the fears and sorrow that he had been subconsciously holding in since he had been deposited in this new dimension.

Finally finishing with a smile on his face and a whistle as he remembered the happy times, Xander flipped a switch on the machine and picked up the pistol again.

Moving to where he was again facing the energy field, Xander prepared himself to use his super speed if the bullet decided to again come back at him; he also made a mental note to make sure to always wear his nano-clothing from now on.

Aiming the Walter PPK at the force field, Xander fired, and then smiled to himself as the bullet went right through the force field, ricocheted off a metal plate that was on the other side of the force field and flew back to bounce off the other side of the energy barrier.

When the bullet was stopped by the other side of the energy field, Xander's smile grew even larger as he realized that he could now control what came in and out of the field; even making it so that something could be fired through it but still not pierce the barrier from the other side.

Happy with himself, and still thinking of his times with his friend, Xander set the pistol down on the work table and then moved towards the door; turning off the power to the experiment and the room on the way out.

It was time Xander did some fun stuff for himself, a vacation sounded about perfect now.

"I wonder what is going on in Vegas?" Xander said to himself as he shut off the lights and proceeded out of the room. "Vegas should be a place to have some chaotic fun without ramifications." He continued to speak to himself as he proceeded towards the transport center.

It was indeed time that Xander relaxed a bit and had some fun, and Vegas would promise to lead to a whole lot of fun and chaos, or at least one or the other.

* * *

Owning your own country, Native American reservation, and coffee empire has its perks, namely ease of creation of fake ID's and enough money to throw around so that you can pretty much buy anything you like. The ID and backpack full of cash helped to make sure that Xander was enjoying his time in Vegas, and it had made him chuckle to see that even in such large name casinos like New York New York and the MGM Grand, his Sparkbucks coffee shops were proudly displayed and full of customers.

Wearing his nano-clothing in the form of a glaringly bright orange Hawaiian shirt and jeans, Xander had a nice leather backpack slung over his shoulder as he wandered towards the Sparkbucks inside the New York New York Casino.

Not really wanting to drink alcohol, after seeing what it had done to his parents and uncle, Xander purchased a Sparkbucks coffee from the staff and even got a knowing smile from the barista whom Xander recognized as being a citizen of New Mechanicsburg valley. A step into the back of the coffee shop, and into the manager's office, allowed Xander to see the latest intelligence report of the city as the coffee shops also worked as listening and intelligence gathering posts for Xander's operations; something that the Chateau had set up for Xander when she was bored. Xander read through the list of who's who in Vegas, the planned and unplanned events going on in the city, noted which conventions were in town and even which acts were playing.

Xander mentally cringed when he saw that Zatanna was in town, not because he didn't enjoy his time with her and want to possibly see her again, but because he was pretty sure he had broken one of those unspoken female dating rules about calling the day after a date or having sex. Making a call to Zatanna had been flitting in and out of his mind several times since that night, but then again it would have been hard to explain why he couldn't get together with her.

'_Right, I can see that call going well, "Hey Zatanna, sorry I didn't call but I was a bit busy breaking into the Batcave, making Superman puke on Lex Luthor, filming Hawkgirl in a wet t-shirt and then framing Batman, followed by killing Dracula before taking over Romania; oh let's not forget telling off the world leaders and disappearing a country."'_ Xander thought to himself and scoffed under his breath as he continued to read the latest local intel report.

"Yeah, like that would go over well." Xander finished mumbling as he put the list down in a waste paper basket and then pressed a button on the desk that caused the trash can to flame and instantly immolate the paper. Xander nodded to the manager of the store and then walked out of the New York New York Sparkbucks, heading out towards the street and down The Strip; sipping his coffee perfection.

Still thinking about Zatanna, Xander figured, '_Eh, it's a big city full of big casinos, and there are lots of people around here. I shouldn't have to worry about running into Zatanna.'_ Xander thought as he headed up the escalator into Ceasar's Palace.

Xander spent the next half an hour wandering around the glitzy casino, enjoying the dancing female silhouettes at the shadow bar and then strolling through the card table and slot machine areas until he came upon a elegantly curtained off area that had two large men standing guard before a velvet roped off section.

Xander's curiosity got the better of him, and he decided to stroll over towards the guards to see what was in the secluded area.

Now in Xander's mind he was still that goofball teenager from Sunnydale with a bit of super powers and a spark of mad genius, reality was that he looked a lot different than he had when he left his home dimension. Sure he still had the disarming goofball grin perfected, sure he still had the dark clean cut but a bit messy hair, but he certainly didn't have the body of an average teenager whose favorite food was Twinkies. Even under the brightly colored Hawaiian shirt you could tell that he was built like Superman or a muscled MMA fighter, and due to the influence of the primal spirit he naturally walked like a predator, as graceful as a panther.

Xander was a bit startled when both of the guards tensed up at his approach and seemed to assume stances that suggested they were ready for violence. Xander immediately recognized the raised level of threat of the two suit wearing guards and he immediately adopted his goofball persona that had gotten him out of so many beatings and situations with high-school bullies back in Sunnydale.

"Hey guys! How's it going?" Xander said with a big smile and a wave, standing back out of the personal space of the two tall men who Xander realized he stood eye to eye with.

"I'm sorry sir, but this area is for high rollers and special guests of the casino only. Please go about your business." One of the guards stated, moving to stand between Xander and the roped off entrance to the high rollers area. The second guard moved slightly behind the first in order to provide backup and protection to his partner facing this physically intimidating man who had a certain disarming charm about him; what better mannerisms for a professional assassin went through both guards' minds.

"Oh, cool! How much money does it take to be a high roller?" Xander questioned with a big smile, quirking his head to the side and shrugging his backpack up higher on his shoulder.

"You must deposit at least two hundred and fifty thousand dollars with the casino in order to play the games in here sir." The forward most guard replied.

"Cool! Does five hundred thousand work to get me in?" Xander questioned, looking down at his backpack as he swung it around towards the front and opened it up to show the two guards; not seeing both guards reach into their coat jackets when Xander opened the backpack. By the time he looked up at the two of them and showed them that he must have been carrying at least a million dollars in bundled large denomination bills, both guards had assumed a more relaxed position; both were professionals used to dealing with the eccentric rich.

"Certainly sir, please follow me," the second guard stated with a totally different tone while unclipping the velvet rope and leading Xander back into the darkly curtained off entrance; the first guard remained in his position guarding the entrance.

Xander followed the large guard through the curtained doorway and into a gold and marble filled area that allowed natural light to briefly light bits of the high roller area with beams of light that filtered down through dense natural foliage of real trees and vines. The room looked like a darker and more secluded private garden in the midst of a Roman palace. Alcoves were distributed against several of the walls, some of them hidden by long crimson curtains that contained private card games or business deals, Xander could only guess, while roman fountains trickled throughout the mass of greenery. In the corners of the halls and rooms of this secluded palace were more suited guards, mixed in sporadically with private body guards of the players, and the hint of cigar smoke and expensive perfumes or colognes wafted through the air; tinged with the sounds of muffled conversations and the dealers distributing cards or announcing winners or losers. Xander walked past a roulette table where several older men in expensive suits were playing and enjoying the company of some very much younger females. Xander shook his head and smiled to himself as he continued to follow the guard past the table and towards a cashier's booth with gilded bars in front of it.

A short, attractive young woman with blonde hair in a ponytail, a cute little nose and dimples gave Xander a smile from behind the bars.

"How may I help you sir?" She questioned, neatly arrayed in her uniform and cute as a button.

Xander couldn't help but smile back at the attendant, "I'd like to deposit some money and get some chips." He answered while dumping his backpack on the counter and haphazardly pushing over about half of the pile of bundled bills toward the attendant. The other portion he negligently slid off the counter and back into his bag before putting it over his shoulder and smirking back at the attendant.

The cashier's eyes twinkled a bit as she smirked at Xander's casual actions and somewhat goofy mannerism. Quickly and efficiently she slipped the bands off the bundles of cash and ran it through a counting machine before grabbing several brackets of chips.

"Here you go sir, five hundred and seventy five thousand dollars in chips." The attendant replied before passing over the chips to the attendant guard who had issued Xander inside the high roller area.

Xander's raised eyebrow at the guard received a reply of, "I'll carry your chips for your sir, security standard."

Xander merely smiled back and said, "Sure thing, lead the way kemosabe," while pointing towards an area of the high roller area that promised poker games.

The cashier stifled a giggle behind them as the guard resolutely led Xander over towards a table that had a seat open at it.

Sitting down between a man with a white ten gallon hat the size of Texas, with a belt buckle similarly sized, and a dark haired leggy beauty in a skirt suit and a scowling bald behemoth of a body guard behind her, Xander gave them a patented Xander smile and a "Hello everybody," before setting his backpack down at his feet.

Xander received a stayed nod from the beautiful lady on his left, a "Howdy son" from the man who was obviously a Texan on Xander's right, a glare from the third man at the table in the Italian suit with the gold necklaces, and a slight bow from the Japanese business man with the female neutral expression wearing bodyguard standing behind.

"So, what are we playing here?" Xander asked with a goofy smile as the guard who was accompanying Xander placed the rather large stack of chips on the table and moved away from the table.

The lips of the dark haired beauty on Xander's left quirked into a slight smile for a moment at Xander's behavior, before resuming their staid appearance. Her cultured voice answered, "We are playing poker, Texas Hold 'Em to be exact Mr…?" She answered, leaving off at the end and awaiting the answer of his name.

Xander smiled back at her as the dealer started dealing out cards to the players, "Xander Miss, Alexander Harris is my name but my friends all call me Xander." He replied and smiled at her and before bending down to peak at his dealt cards without showing those around him, his actions clearly showing that he didn't have a clue what he was doing.

The fact that the lady had asked questions to Xander and that Xander had replied made the hulking behemoth behind her scowl even more, if that was possible.

The Texan beside him cut in, "I'm Bob Anderson from Texas, son, but everybody just calls me Big Bob the oil baron." The man on Xander's right said with a smile and a slap on Xander's back. Xander didn't even move though the blow would have at least budged a normal man of Xander's build, this went unnoticed by everybody at the table except for the beauty on Xander's left; of course both bodyguards at the table noted it, and the large bald man's scowl grew darker still while the female bodyguard didn't make any sign of noting the lack of reaction.

Xander was totally oblivious to the whole goings on, and just smiled back at the Texan. "It's nice to meet you Bob." Xander said, and shook the man's hand before looking at the other individuals at the table.

"Mr. Kawai Aki-no-kami," The Japanese man stated with a slight head bow and a neutral expression face. The man in the Italian suit just sneered at Xander, at the same time that the beauty on Xander's left stated, "Talia, Talia al Ghul."

Xander's smile faltered before fading from his face to become a neutral mask as he recognized Talia's name, the lack of a smile being noted by the participants at the table.

"Um, it's a pleasure to meet you all." Xander replied before focusing down on his cards.

Unperceived by Xander, Talia beside him frowned for a second before picking up her cards, the mood at the table becoming quiet.

Xander had actually played poker before, in fact his father and his uncle Rory had often forced Xander to sit in the open seat whenever poker night rolled around and one of his father's drinking buddies wasn't available to fill the table. Xander had originally hoped to play dumb and then mop up the table with the competitors, but the fact that he was sitting at the table with the daughter of the world's most notorious eco-terrorist and immortal had him deciding not to use his super genius to count cards or figure the odds.

Basically Xander's thoughts were comprised of, _'Oh Shit! Oh Shit! Oh Shit! I'm sitting next to Talia al Ghul, Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit! Ok, play it cool and you should get out of this ok, it's not like she is going to figure out that you aren't your every day Hawaiian shirt wearing goofball.' _Xander's thoughts reviewed everything that he knew about Ra's al Ghul and the voices in his head were having a high intensity discussion on what to do with this situation and how to get out of this situation unscathed without giving away anything more about himself.

All of this led to naught when Xander realized that somebody was saying his name.

"Xander? Mr. Harris? Alexander it's your turn." Talia repeated, finally catching Xander's attention after the fifth repetition.

Xander looked up from his cards and realized that everybody around the table was focusing on him; Big Bob was looking at Xander with a look that seemed to state that the Texan believed Xander was outright crazy.

"Heh heh, oops, um, raise." Xander stated, throwing out a hundred thousand dollars in chips. Before putting his cards down and gripping the gold gilded metal bar that decorated the edge of the table, trying to keep his hands from fidgeting.

Talia matched Xander's raise while giving Xander a deep inquisitive look, one elegantly groomed eyebrow raised as she looked Xander over.

The look caused Xander to gulp, and there was a metallic crinkling sound below him.

Looking down, Xander saw that his fingers had sunk into the gilded metal on the expensive poker table. His eyes got big for a second before jerking his hands back, showing that he had left actual finger prints bent into the solid metal bar that edged the table.

"Eh, um, I can pay for that." Xander said, fighting to calm himself as he felt that he had been totally caught off guard by the situation he found himself on. All he had wanted was a bit of fun and to forget all of his crazy problems, and here he found himself sitting next to none other than Talia al Ghul, sitting at a poker table with God knew who else, and he had just given away that he was a bit stronger than was usual.

"God Son! You're stronger than the long horns on my ranch back home. What do they feed you back home, corn meal with a side of steroids?" The Texan questioned with his Texas drawl, breaking the ice.

'_When in doubt, crack a joke!'_ A voice in the back of Xander's head yelled, so Xander did.

"Nope, just Twinkies and lots of coffee. It's all that healthy eating that does the body good." Xander replied, giving Big Bob his classic Scooby goofy grin.

Big Bob laughed and again slapped Xander on the back. By now the Italian suit wearing mafia wanna be was no longer sneering and actually looked a little pasty in his complexion, but now the two body guards and their employers were firmly focused on Xander. Xander fell back on years of practice in defusing tense situations and just continued to joke around.

"Yeah, it's that mixture of California sunshine and large city smog, I even have the genuine raised in California seal on my rear end. You know, happy cows and all that…" Xander stated with a self deprecating smile while focusing back on the cards.

Big Bob laughed, and then decided to fold.

Xander raised, Talia matched Xander and called, and so did Mr. Kawai Aki-no-kami; the mobster folded and gathered his remaining chips and left the table.

Xander looked around at the cards and then continued to smirk, Talia laid down her cards and showed that she had three jacks, king high. Mr. Kawai Aki-no-kami bowed politely to Talia as he had a pair of queens and a pair of aces. Xander merely smirked as he laid down a royal flush and won the pot.

A somewhat playful scowl split Talia's pretty face, but Mr. Kawai Aki-no-kami actually cracked a smile for the first time in the game and applauded Xander's win before stating that he too must make an honorable exit.

Xander took that opportunity to try to make an escape also.

"Going so soon Mr. Harris?" Talia asked, laying a hand on the back of Xander's wrist as he went to pile up his chips and leave.

Xander was a bit nervous, but called upon all of the suave expertise with women that he had acquired from Halloween to get himself out of this situation. Smiling charmingly at Talia, his mannerisms seemed to change to truly show how attractive he could be, even though he was still wearing a horrible Hawaiian shirt.

"My dear Ms. al Ghul, I'm sorry but I really must be going. Besides, I'm nobody for you to bother yourself about," Xander stated, extricating himself smoothly but surely with a debonair smile, turning to walk away; dropping a large tip on the table for the dealer and handing a wad of bills from his backpack to the guard in order to pay for the damage to the table.

As Xander walked away, gracefully but with a little added speed to his step, his super hearing overheard her mumble to her bodyguard, "Ubu, Xander Harris is no 'nobody.' He obviously recognized my name, and given his strength, he is an unknown that my father would want to know about. Look into it." Xander heard Talia command as Xander high tailed it to the cashier's booth and then out of the high roller area. He mentally cursed at Lady Luck and Murphy in his head the whole way to and from the cashier's booth.

'_Damn it!_' Xander thought. _'Just once! Just one damn time I want to be able to relax, have fun, and not get myself into any trouble. Damn you Murphy!' _ Xander raged inside his head, a scowl painted across his face.

There is a saying that one shouldn't mock the gods, for that way lays destruction. Though Mr. Murphy and his law weren't per say part of a pantheon of gods, they did seem to hold a great deal of sway in Xander's life. That's why as soon as he stepped out of the high roller area he heard his name called out from behind him.

"Xander! Xander Harris." A female voice shouted.

Turning, expecting to see Talia al Ghul following him, Xander had a moment to realize that a hand was coming at him palm first before he found himself quickly dodging a slap from the irate, but gorgeous as ever, Zatanna.

"What do you have to say for yourself Xander? You promised to call me and it's been almost a month with no word from you. After what we did? What do you have to say for yourself?" Zatanna raged, coming up to Xander and poking her finger into Xander's chest looking up at him, as even though she was wearing high heels and a top hat Zatanna was still shorter than Xander.

"Um, Hi Zatanna… well um, I said I'd call you when I was in town, and I um, just got into town, so um, here I am." Xander stated while trying to give Zatanna a contrite grin while at the same time turning a bit red in the face at his understandably lame answer and because he and Zatanna had become the center of attention on the casino floor.

"I liked you Xander, I really liked you, and how dare you try and give me such a lame excuse. It wasn't like you were trying to hide from the world and couldn't find time to give me a simple phone call." Zatanna raged, throwing up her hands every now and then while continuing to poke Xander in the chest to punctuate her words.

Xander was speechless as he just thought, _'Um yeah, actually that is exactly what happened. Oh, and by the way, fuck you Murphy, could you screw with my day any more than this?'_

Before Xander could come up with another excuse, a burst of gunfire went off as several casino patrons threw off their suit coats and showed the world that they were wearing clothing that looked like snake scales.

"Long Live Kobra!" The gunmen yelled as they started robbing people around them and indiscriminately firing into the crowd. Fortunately their aim sucked as nobody had told them that you shouldn't wield an AK-47 with one hand, but that still didn't help the poor waitress who took a round to the stomach.

Pandemonium ensued as people screamed and ran in every direction. The security guards guarding the entrance to the high roller area dived behind slot machines for cover and pulled out their weapons in an effort to get a clear shot at the members of the Kobra terrorist group that was attacking.

Xander acted quickly by bodily picked up Zatanna over one shoulder while using his speed and flight powers to swoop down and grab the bleeding waitress with the other arm before launching himself over behind a nearby bar; the alcohol bottles on the back wall behind the bar exploded as they were hit by rounds from the terrorists' automatic weapons.

Setting down Zatanna, and carefully laying down the weakly gasping and terribly bloody young girl in his other arm, Xander grabbed a towel and held it over the wound while he tried to figure out what to do.

Zatanna was shocked for a moment, not only was she under attack, but Xander, the normal guy who she had accidentally made naked on stage, had just flown with the speed of Superman and showed strength that was beyond normal.

"Who the hell are you?" Zatanna gasped at Xander wide eyed as she covered her head to protect herself from the falling shards of glass.

"A little busy here, it'd be nice if you could use some of your magic to help out," Xander growled, focusing on the girl beside him. Closing his eyes he didn't see that Zatanna began chanting backwards and a purple shield spell flew out of her hands, causing an energy barrier to pop up over the bar; a barrier that turned all of the incoming bullets into flower petals.

Zatanna on the other hand turned and looked again at Xander, just in time to see the short sleeve of Xander's shirt liquefy into some sort of metallic moving tentacle that trailed down Xander's arm and then disappear under his bloody hand and into the gaping wound in the waitress's stomach.

The waitress gasped, her eyes went large, and then she fainted.

Zatanna, thinking that Xander was hurting the girl turned her hands towards him and attempted to blast him away from the injured girl with raw magic.

The magic shot out of her hands and flew at Xander, yet upon impact with Xander it seemed to roll right around him to blast a two foot hole in the woodwork of the bar next to Xander, sending wooden splinters flying.

Xander ducked away from the splinters, and then shot out a hand to grab both of Zatanna's hands in his own.

"Fucking stop that, I'm trying to help her." Xander growled, his eyes flashing green back at Zatanna. He removed the bloody dish town away from the girls wound, and watched as the nano-clanks in his shirt had pooled into the gap in the girls torso. Slowly the stream of almost liquid metal slowly retracted as the hole in the girls stomach closed up; the stream of nanoclanks formed into solid long sleeves on Xander and gloves as the rest of his outfit changed to fully cover most of his body in a silvery material. Xander's body was left covered in a layer of the silvery metal, leaving his head exposed so that he could still see clearly.

"Wha, what the hell are you?" Zatanna stated as she scooted away from him, her mind seeming to freeze as a formerly normal seeming man whom she had been intimate with turned into something totally unknown right before her eyes.

Xander turned away from the waitress and Zatanna as he grabbed two large bottles of absolute vodka in each hand and moved to stand up.

"Less talk, more magic at the bad guys." Xander commanded as he darted into a standing position and flung the two bottles at the two closest gunmen.

Xander's aim was true as one bottle impacted the back of one of the gunmen and crushed the man's spine while the heavy glass of the second bottle ricocheted off the back of the skull of a second, sending the second gunman careening face first into a slot machine; said slot machine started up and hit the jackpot, spilling coins across the floor and onto the head of the now unconscious second gunman, as such was Xander's luck.

Xander again ducked behind the bar as the remaining three gunmen turned their attention, and their automatic rifle fire, towards the new threat that had so easily disabled two of their brethren.

Xander crouched down and turned towards Zatanna to see her still staring at him wide eyed in a daze.

"Ok, soooo not the time. Snap out of it Zatanna, you're supposed to be a Justice League member, get with the game." Xander snapped at her before quickly crab walking behind the bar until he reached the end, grabbed another two bottles and dived out to from behind the bar through the entrance on the side.

Again two more bottles flew through the air, and because Xander had whipped them around at waist level, one bottle took out the knees of one of the gunmen (causing the gunman to also hit his head on a slot machine and also win another jackpot) while the second bottle took the fourth gunman in the crotch. After that, the fourth gunman was too busy puking and holding his former manhood to be a threat any more.

Zatanna had finally gotten into the action, as before the fifth gunman could react to Xander's second attack the gunman suddenly found his gun transformed into a snake that attacked him while a swarm of playing cards flew out of Zatanna's sleeve and buried the man up to the neck.

For a moment, all was quiet except for the groans and whimpers of the wounded and scared casino inhabitants.

Xander was the first to break the silence, "Fuck this, I'm done with Vegas." He stated, his nano-clothing again turning into a Hawaiian shirt and jeans as he stalked out from behind the bar and walked towards where he had dropped his backpack full of cash.

"Wait! Xander! Who the hell are you? What the hell are you?" Zatanna again yelled at him, walking out of the bar and starting to walk after him as Xander picked up his backpack proceeded towards the curtains to the high roller area.

Xander swung on her, and the flash of green in his eyes caused Zatanna to take a halting step back from where she was about to grab him by the back of his shirt.

"You listen here Zatanna." Xander snapped, poking a finger in Zatanna's direction. "I've had some pretty messed up girls that I've gotten involved with, and I draw the line when they try to attack me with magic…" He stated, and then thought for a second as he reviewed that sentence in light of his past dating experiances, "Ok, I also draw the line when they try to eat me, suck out my blood and or soul, but attacking me is definitely a no no in my relationship book." Xander stated before turning away from her and starting to stalk away.

"Wait, Xander let me explain! Wait!" Zatanna stated, and when Xander didn't stop she made another mistake, she tried to cast magic on him again.

"Ezeerf!" She yelled, and a cold snap of magic shot from her hands towards Xander in an effort to halt him and freeze him in mid step.

The magic hit Xander in the back, but then slid right over him, frosting the carpet and crystalizing a slot machine next to him, but having no effect what so ever on Xander.

Xander snarled and was on Zatanna so fast that she would have missed the blur of movement if she had blinked.

Xander held Zatanna off the floor by the front of her tuxedo jacket, holding her right up to his face and slowly snarled out, "Don't… Do… That… Again." He commanded, the look in his eyes promising pain if she tried to attack him again in any way.

Xander looked into Zatanna's eyes, and realized that he was scaring the crap out of her. Shaking himself mentally, he lowered her to the ground and then stepped back away from her.

"Zatanna, I enjoyed our one night together but take my words to heart. Watch who you use your magic on. Who knows, you and your magic abilities and even your good intentions may be the very thing that destroys something precious, maybe even something precious like the entire Justice League." Xander stated, staring unblinkingly down at Zatanna who took an unconscious step back at the perceived threat.

With that, Xander turned and stalked through the curtains of the high roller area, muttering about how "I didn't need this shit" and that "I need to go blow something up."

By the time Zatanna had caught her breath and proceeded to follow where Xander had disappeared behind the curtains, all sign of Xander was already gone.

Xander's actions had not gone unnoticed as not only Zatanna, but also several of Xander's former poker partners, made note to look deeper into the past and present of Alexander Harris.

* * *

**AN: Well there you go. Sorry it took so long, but as you can see it was a very jam packed chapter with a lot of de****tails and foreshadowing and hints at things to come as well as a lot of answers supplied. Bonus points if you can figure out the hints that I've laid out with the names and details of the poker players; each will play a part in the coming story and there is enough there that if you do some research or guessing you can figure out how they may come to deal with Xander or his alter egos. Best wishes!**

**The ritual is a changed version of the gypsy magic spell that gave Angel back his soul. **

**1: Translation of the spell: **

What is lost, return,  
Not dead, nor not of the living,  
Spirits of the interregnum, I call,  
Gods, bind him, cast his heart from the evil realm,  
I call on you, Lord; do not ignore this request,  
Let this orb be the vessel that will call his soul,

It is written, this power is my people's right to wield,

So shall it be, with the help of this magic crystal globe.  
So it shall be! So it shall be!  
Now! Now!


	19. Chapter 19: A Viking We Will Go

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: Chapter update. Hope you enjoy. Honestly, when I hear if you enjoyed it or not, and get your thoughts, I tend to update faster. It's not a bribery thing, it's an encouragement thing. I only write when I feel like it. I feel like it when you tell me you like the story, guess what is going to happen next, or give me your thoughts on the story. Cheers!**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

**Chapter 19: A Viking We Will Go**

"Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn"  
- Unknown

Plausible deniability is a wonderful thing in many ways. Heck, think of all the dictators, tyrants, government officials and corporate leaders who have been able to protect themselves from legal or physical retaliation due to the lack of 'knowledge' or 'proof' to connect them to their 'crime.' That said, plausible deniability does have a drawback in that because you have to distance yourself from your assassin, spy, terrorist or even location where you sponsor the creation of unspeakable evil, you can't send reinforcements when said 'go-between' gets their ass handed to them. Furthermore, when said 'go-between' is located in a territory that is a signatory to the 'Freedom of Power Treaty', you can't even count on the Justice League to save your asset from being damaged, destroyed, or killed. When you add in the fact that you just pissed off probably the brainiest, most super powered mad genius in the world (who happens to have the largest personal army on the planet) well, there is no other way to say it than "Bend over and kiss your 'ass'ets goodbye, because you're fucked."

Xander was angry with his chaotic life, he was frustrated about his relationships, his vacation had been ruined, and worst of all he had sat on and squished his box of Twinkies when he got home from Las Vegas; planets had been destroyed for less. With all of that, especially the Twinkies, it's a bit understandable that Xander thought that wiping Oolong Island off the map would be a pleasant little form of stress release. Now why target Oolong Island, a small island paradise situated off the coast of China? There were three reasons really.

First, the overheard and recorded conversation between the Chinese Ambassador to the United Nations and his aide specifically stated that Oolong Island was the origin of the Chinese insurgent attack on Romania. Add that to the fact that the Chinese Ambassador had specifically disclaimed The People's Republic of China's involvement in the attack, and Xander was more than happy to tidy up those uncontrolled assets that had gone rogue in China's territory. Xander was just being a nice 'neighbor' by cleaning up China's garbage.

That leads to the second reason; the Island of Oolong didn't just have a simple military base on it. No, Oolong Island held the main research and development location for China. The science facilities on Oolong Island hosted a horde of kidnapped genius scientists, captured Apokoliptian technology, and the facilities to create more monstrosities and abominations than any other location in the world. Under the leadership of the egg shaped scientist Chang Fu, China was creating devices and creatures that would see the deaths of billions if left unchecked. Heck, Xander knew from the comic books that if not stopped, Chang Fu would release the former hell gods of Apokolips, the Four Horsemen, in an effort to destroy Black Adam; an action that if left on its current course would see the deaths of tens of millions of human beings and the destruction of at least one country. Add to that the fact that the Four Horsemen were practically semi-demonic 'big bads,' and you had a target rich environment for Xander nuking.

Which leads to the third reason. Truthfully, no young man needs an excuse to blow something up, but Xander sure had one in the crap that he had been dealing with since he got to this new universe. If it wasn't vampires, it was villains; if it wasn't villains, it was heroes, and when he didn't have to deal with that his own house was messing with him while at the same time he was busy trying to run a world dominating coffee company and a small Eastern European country. Add to that troubles with an ex-sort-of-girlfriend Zatanna and worries about his friends back in Sunnydale, and Xander was left with the choices of blowing off some steam or facing the very real possibilities that his subconscious would start making doomsday weapons while Xander was asleep. The squished box of Twinkies sealed Oolong Island's fate. As far as Xander was concerned it was an omen from the gods of Hostess that Oolong Island must be destroyed.

Thus Xander was madly cackling to himself as he activated the transport system from inside the five hundred foot tall by two hundred foot wide robotics chamber inside the mountain underneath his now colossal multi-mile long super-castle/fortress in Romania. In a flash of light, Xander and his giant craft disappeared and moved halfway around the world in a blink of an eye. It was play time.

* * *

Oolong Island was a peaceful and tranquil place. Ok, it was only peaceful and tranquil if you ignored the fact that it was swarming with guards and wracked with the sounds of the occasional explosion, implosion, or inhuman scream of a test subject. But still, the tropical island had a certain sense of beauty and grandeur to it as the metal and crystalline city in the center of the tropical foliage shined and sparked in the sun.

The first inklings that the tranquil life on the island was about to change was when a roughly football field sized portion of the sea off the island's coast suddenly seemed to drop several feet before a moment later devolving into a choppy torrent as the surrounding water poured in to replace the missing water. A patrol torpedo boat that had been slowly trolling the waters around the island shook and rocked as if caught in the turbulent waters, and Chinese sailors in different stages of dress poured onto the deck to see what was happening. The captain's red boxers with white hearts were especially nice. Soon enough though, the sea quieted back to its tropical perfection and the ocean resumed its steady in and out lapping at the white sand beaches of Oolong. The boat began to move out of the area as the sonar tech on the patrol torpedo boat went back to his station to see if he could figure out what had made the large wake in the ocean.

The second warning sign was more felt than seen, as an earthquake seemed to strike the island; shuddering with a loud boom that rippled across the island and caused several very delicate projects to blow up or disintegrate as the ripples of the earth dislodged items from their counter tops or their positions on laboratory shelves. A few seconds after the first earthquake seemed to pass and settle down, a second boom shook the island, followed quickly by a fourth, and then a fifth and so on and so forth. By this time the guards and scientists on the island were having a hard time staying on their feet as the ground beneath them swayed and shifted, and the ceilings above them began to crack and drop debris down upon their heads. This unexpected aspect of Xander's arrival was a lucky happenstance, for chaos of the earthquakes hid the arrival of clouds of nano-clanks that appeared in halls and closets throughout the city; clouds of microscopic hovering clanks that quickly disappeared en mass into the duct works and crawl spaces of the city before beginning their work of dispersing and seeking out their targets.

Onboard the torpedo boat, the sonar tech's eyes grew large as he began screaming something about a metal monster in Chinese, right as the head of Xander's giant robot pierced the surface of the water. A large metal lizard like head, with glowing yellow eyes pierced the water and continued to grow and tower over the small patrol boat next to it as it continued to move itself out of the sea and towards the island.

Dredged from the depths of Japanese campy horror movies with guys in monster suits, like Gulliver in the land of Lilliputians, Xander's mechanical monstrosity would have been guaranteed to send hordes of Japanese running in terror through the streets of Tokyo. Xander cackled madly as he saw that he was rising out of the ocean, and with that cackle, the giant robot around him responded by releasing an ear splitting scream that sounded like a cross between a king condor and T-Rex. Super-MechaGodzilla had come to Oolong Island.

Xander continued to laugh madly as he lived out every childhood boy's dream of being a huge monster that crushed an army of miniatures. Xander floated in a bubble-like sea of nano-clanks in the belly of his beast, the nano-clanks kept his body cushioned and floating while at the same time oxygenating and maintaining him and giving him full control and senses of the Super-MechaGodzilla. Xander saw the island before him, saw the artillery positions on the coast and the soldiers that stared up at him with awe and fear, and he laughed.

Super-MechaGodzilla's shrill cry split the air again as the robot fully cleared the water and made huge crushing steps onto the sandy beach. Water dripped off his shiny metallic form, blinding the onlookers as the tropical sun almost seemed to be magnified by the reflection off of the crystalline blasters on the robot's shoulders and metallic body. The giant robot's first step onto the shore seemed to wake the soldiers out of their stupor and artillery pieces were swung to face the invader.

Xander stood on the shore as torpedoes and small arms fire from behind, and artillery and small arms rounds from the front struck his robot as the Chinese soldiers on Oolong Island attacked. The barrage that hit Super-MechaGodzilla was as effective as a pigmy headhunter's blow dart gun against a modern battleship, or ants taking on an Abrams battle tank; in short, it did absolutely nothing to Xander's compressed carbon steel armor.

Xander laughed again inside the carapace of his armored robot and let the soldiers continue to fire for a few seconds before deciding he'd given the soldiers enough of a break.

'_My turn now._' Xander mentally stated to his nano-clanks as his brain multitasked and his smile grew across his face. With that command, several programs began running and speakers around Xander and on the outside of Xander's MechaGodzilla loudly played the opening strains of AC-DC's 'Thunderstruck.' The song was probably totally lost on the Chinese soldiers, but it made Xander smile.

As the music started to grow, so did the humming sound around the giant robot as the eyes, the two crystalline blasters, and the gem-like array in the center of the MechaGodzilla's chest all started to glow a golden color before starting to take on hues of white.

Then, with the chant of 'Thunder!' and the pounding of drums, Xander attacked. Lightning bolts as big around as the body of a 747 jumbo jet blasted across the island while the robot's prehensile tail lashed out and disintegrated the patrol boat into splinters. Xander marched his robot onto the island, smashing his feet through the masses of soldiers; his tail whipped through the trees and turned them into wooden projectiles while lightning from his eyes flash fried the troops in front of him. Simultaneously, the two giant crystalline blasters on his shoulders stopped glowing gold, and turned red, right before radioactive plasma heated to almost the temperature of the sun shot towards the city in great globs that melted and destroyed everything around it.

Screw overkill, Xander's attack was the equivalent of using a bazooka to go mosquito hunting. Again Xander thought, _'No such thing as overkill, just open fire and reload.'_ Xander laughed to himself as he tromped into the city and tried to concentrate on the reason for the slaughter rather than the fun he was having.

'_That way lies the darkside, yes, mmmmm.'_ A Yoda like voice said in the back of Xander's head, but he ignored it as he was busy concentrating on communing with the nano-clank swarm that cushioned and protected him within the heart of the Super-MechaGodzilla robot. With the interface between the nano-clanks inside of Xander and around him, as Xander moved, his robot moved, as Xander thought, his robot obeyed.

'_Yes, enjoy the power of this fully operational MechaGodzilla, delve into your feelings and revel in them. Come to the Dark side my apprentice, we have cookies._'The voice of Emperor Palpatine wheezed in the back of Xander's head, but again Xander ignored the voice as he was busy taking out several gun emplacements that were opening up on the roofs of the Oolong Island facility.

Inside the Oolong facility, havoc reigned as ceilings melted, buildings and hallways exploded and scientists, techs, engineers, and guards alike ran in fear. It appeared that the population of Oolong was being slaughtered, as there would be a flash of explosion, and then a hallway formerly filled with life was reduced to smoldering slag. Nobody realized that in the glare of the explosions, flashes of multicolored lights were taking place, making the condemned disappear right at their moment of death.

Up till then Xander had done all he could to not kill the humans if he had a chance. Though he wasn't a hero, he really didn't want to be lumped into the villain group either. Unfortunately, the entire facility and its inhabitants had to go, with certain individuals definitely having to die; namely Chang Fu and the Four Horsemen being the key targets.

Xander crushed a building underfoot while his tail whipped around him to cut down a crystal and metal tower, all the while lightning bolts continued to split the city even as the radioactive equivalent of napalm and thermite melted deep into the subbasements of the liquefying walls of the facility.

Basically, Xander was having fun… but not too much fun, because that would be evil.

* * *

Inside the deepest laboratory of the largest building on Oolong Island, where Chang Fu worked, the golden egg shaped super villain used the claws on his mechanical walker to rush through the activation sequences on the bodies of the Four Horsemen. Actually, it was only the three horsemen as the fourth horseman, known as Hunger/Famine, had already infiltrated Kahndaq and the court of Black Adam. That just left Death, War, and Pestilence that could be activated in an effort to distract the gigantic robot that was destroying Chang Fu's city.

Change Fu's mechanical hands and claws flew over keyboards and activation sequences as he cursed under his breath. '_Only two more sequences and they will be activated._' The evil genius thought as he entered the first of the two sequences and waited for the activation buttons before him to glow red. He had perfected the Horsemens' bodies until they were excellent tools for the destruction of Black Adam, that antihero magically empowered thorn in China's side. Housing the spirits of the Old Gods of Apokolips, the Four Horsemen were literally the spiritual embodiments of their named calamity housed in mechanized and synthetic flesh. Just as Chang Fu finished and the buttons before him glowed red, a tearing and shearing sound of metal being stripped apart came from above him as the earth shook him off his feet.

Falling backwards, Chang Fu, aka Egg Fu, stared up in fear as two giant metallic claws stripped the roof clean off the large laboratory, and a giant metal lizard's face and maw appeared above him.

Inside Super-MechaGodzilla, Xander's grin turned feral as he yelled, "Peek-a-boo, I see you Chang Fu!"

What Chang Fu heard though was a shrill monstrous roaring screech at point blank range; a roar that could shatter eardrums and splinter glass from a mile away. Under the point blank sonic impact, the shell of Chang Fu, the egg like villain, shattered and exploded; and all the kings horses and all the kings men wouldn't be able to put Chang Fu back together again.

Super-MechaGodzilla's face jerked backwards slightly as the robot got egg on its face. Activating the beam weapons in his robot's eyes, Xander successfully burned away the egg and had the added benefit of burning through the chests of both Death and Pestilence. But as often happens around Xander, the now decapitated head of Pestilence popped up into the air from the force of the blast, ricocheted off the ceiling at an angle and flew towards the now egg yolk covered activation controls, neatly impacting the activation buttons for the remaining figure; War was awakened.

Xander only had a moment to think, _'Oh Shit!'_ before the missile launchers on the shoulders, and arm cannon on the house sized Rogga, the Horseman of War, pointed at Super-MechaGodzilla and let loose.

The head of Xander's robot was shot backward due to the explosive impact from War's weapons; going from zero to mach 3.5 as Xander and his robot were launched into the air by the force.

The landing crushed the last remaining structure that stood over one story tall on Oolong Island, and the resulting earthquake shook the few remaining fleeing survivors off their feet. Inside the mechanized Godzilla robot, Xander shook his head at the damage report information flowing to him regarding his robot's eyes and the damage to its head, and he made a quick mental note to work on inertial dampeners and to install that force field tech into his machines ASAP.

Rolling over and standing up, Xander had his robot rise to its full height and used his decreased sensors to tell him what was going on while mentally ordering the nano-clanks throughout the robot to quickly fix the damage done to his visual sensors.

Xander's aural and radar sensors informed him that War was crawling out of the ruined laboratory, and Xander began to receive a hazy image of the head of War clearing the wreckage as Xander focused his efforts on getting his robot's sight repaired.

"Futile mortal. Rogga comes bearing gifts: blood and bone and sorrow. Such is war. Did you think us unaware? Did you think we would not know the very device by which we were summoned? Did you not think we would not act? Know war, mortal. Know ecstasy." The Horseman of War stated, once again firing a salvo of weapons at the momentarily blinded Super-MechaGodzilla that housed Xander.

Xander and his robot where pelted backwards, the explosions of War's weapons pock marking the armor of MechaGodzilla and driving Xander back towards the sea.

Inside the armor, Xander was struggling to keep his robot standing and balanced as he was rocked by the attack.

"Damn-it, I'm getting my ass handed to me by the big bad! And not only that, he's freaking monologing while doing it! Fuck! This! Go go gadget nuclear missile fingers!" Xander finally yelled.

The flailing Super MechaGodzilla pointed its arms towards the general area of where Xander knew Rogga was standing and let loose with ten fingers worth of tactical nuclear missiles.

"Close works in horseshoes, hand grenades and nuclear explosions fucker!" Xander yelled as the entirety of what used to be Romania's secret nuclear arsenal blanketed the island around Xander in mushroom clouds of doom.

Xander and his robot were buffeted back by the force of the blasts, forcing Xander to dig the claws of his robot into the earth like hydraulic crampons in order to not be thrown back into the sea as the both the shockwaves and vacuum from the explosions attempted to knock his mech off its feet. The nano-clanks around Xander informed him that the radiation level on the island had reached a deadly level to unshielded life, and the EMP and the dust from the explosions had hazed over the now almost fully repaired optical sensors on the Super MechaGodzilla robot. Fortunately Xander was mostly protected from the radiation by the yards of solidly compressed composite armor and the sea of nano-clanks that circulated around him in a large ball. Even still, small bits of radiation damage were requiring Xander's healing factor and internal nano-clanks to do repairs; he would need to end this and get off the destroyed island soon.

As the shockwaves passed, Xander marched back towards where War had last been, his passage causing winds which cleared the dust enough for Xander to see through it. Earthquake like tremors shook the earth as Xander unlocked the mech's crampon claws and crunched across the smoldering island, the once pristine sandy beaches were nothing but radioactive glass after Xander's full salvo of nuclear fury.

Xander moved up to the crater where Chang Fu's laboratory had once stood, and stared down into it at the corpses of Death and Pestilence and the almost fully paralyzed form of War. Rogga, the Horseman of War was a wreck.

Servos sparked and oozed as the sinthetic flesh and metal was melted where once mechanical legs had been, and the shoulder launchers and arm cannon on War were twisted wrecks next to a face of bubbling melting flesh with unseeing eyes. War may have been a God trapped in a physical body, but not even the physical body of a God can withstand nuclear strikes; even though the fact that Rogga hadn't been reduced to a carbon shadow on the ground was impressive in itself. The unseeing visage of War turned towards Xander and seemed to look through the chest of Xander's MechaGodzilla robot and right at Xander.

"Heh heh heh, you think that you have bested War with War. But you have unleashed War, Death and Pestilence upon the world, freed us from these forms that we were trapped in." War chuckled, a green fluid not unlike blood being coughed up from his lips as he chuckled at Xander before wheezing one last breath and dying.

Xander returned a feral grin and Super- MechaGodzilla's eyes and blasters started to glow, and for the first time in the fight, the crystalline structure in the middle of the giant robot's chest came fully alive with an orange glow that held flashes of blue and red flecks. Looking down at the corpse of War, Death, and Pestilence Xander saw the spectral spirits of the three Horsemen floating next to the their destroyed bodies. Xander remembered the tales from the Black Adam comic books. He remembered the lesson learned that once defeated War, Death, and Pestilence had gone on to possess human beings before continuing on to slaughter millions of humans. They were the spiritual embodiments of the calamity that they stood for; gods by name, specters in death. But Xander had prepared for this very instance, he wasn't afraid of no ghost.

As he watched War breath his last and die, he scornfully spat, "I know how to deal with puny ghosts like you," Xander's voice issued from his external speakers on the MechaGodzilla now that he had activated his system to do so. "Heck, if it worked for destroying Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar, Gozer the Traveler, and Lord of the Sebouillia in the Ghostbuster's movie, then it should work for a couple of posers like you three stooges."

Xander mentally triggered the final weapon system in his Super-MechaGodzilla while commanding transporter systems back in Romania to snag the heads off of the corpses of Death, War, and Pestilence while teleporting Xander and his protective ball of nano-clanks back to his Romanian fortress. Behind him on the former tropical paradise that was Oolong Island, the power plant sized nuclear proton accelerators whined to life inside the now abandoned Super-MechaGodzilla and emitted semi-truck sized proton energy beams from its eyes, blasters, and central crystal; all five beams struck the three spirits. The three Apokoliptian gods experienced terror for the first time in their existence, right before the beams crossed.

There would be no evidence left of Xander's attack on Oolong, the irradiated glowing island disappeared as the atoms that made up Oolong stopped instantaneously and every molecule exploded at speed of light. When the sea claimed the space where the island had been, all trace of Chang Fu, the science facilities, and even the Apokoliptian Old Gods was gone.

* * *

Xander had been a procrastinator extraordinaire when he was in Sunnydale, but life's lessons combined with Lady Luck and her brother Murphy's repeated groin punches to Xander's life had drilled home that time was not a thing to waste. Thus after getting back to his castle, which Xander had finally named 'Bob', Xander had his nano-clothing assume the guise of The Leviathan while donning his black featureless helmet. It was time to go make an ally, hopefully.

Opening a transporter portal, Xander stepped through in his black tailored suit and blood red tie, and came out the other side with his right hand held in the pose of the Vulcan greeting of peace.

"Live long and prosper, I come in peace." Xander said before he really even got a good look at the throne room around him.

The reply was not so peaceful as a blast of yellow lightning impacted Xander in the chest, but then harmlessly grounded itself into the floor.

Looking up, Xander saw that the bolts of lightning had issued from the hands of a tanned skinned yellow and black clad man with pointy ears who sat on a low swept Egyptian pharaoh's throne. The throne was made of gold and jewels and the walls around Xander mirrored that opulence as the red and tan mixes of marble were also covered in scenes detailed in gold and jewels.

Xander cocked his head to the side and raised both hands, "What part of 'I come in peace' didn't you understand?" Xander stated, a bit of humor in his voice as he showed that he wasn't going to respond in kind to the attack.

The man on the throne was silent for a moment, before reclining back in his chair as if at ease, though Xander's vision showed that the tightly packed muscles beneath Black Adam's shirt showed that the man could explode into action at any moment. Xander remained silent in return, though slowly lowered his hands.

"Hmmm, very interesting." Black Adam answered in baritoned heavily accented English. "You bare the mark of a chaos wizard, but not the wizard Shazam. You also seem to be null to the power of magic. I will give you your peace for the moment so that you may speak your mind and tell me why you have intruded on my country and my throne room." Black Adam, the ruler of Kahndaq replied.

For some reason Xander had always assumed that Black Adam would be a Bass rather than a baritone, '_Perhaps like Darth Vader or something_.' A voice said in the back of Xander's head. Xander knew that Black Adam, the first 'champion of earth' to be empowered by the wizard Shazam (back in ancient Egypt) wasn't necessarily a good guy, nor a nice guy even. But then again, Xander had always felt sorry for Black Adam. Here was a guy who was granted powers without really asking for them, then his family was murdered and the wizard Shazam had the gall to think that Black Adam wouldn't want revenge. Banished across the galaxy to the farthest star by said wizard, Black Adam had spent centuries flying back towards earth as all that he had loved and cared for died or withered away with age while the people of his homeland, Kahndaq, were ruled over by a vicious tyrant. Now Black Adam was not a villain, but not a hero either. The classic antihero, empowered by the gods with magical super strength, magical attacks, almost fully invulnerable and impossibly fast. Add to that the fact that Black Adam was as big of a punching bag by Fate and Murphy as Xander was, and it was understandable why Xander had thought to approach the Kahndaqi ruler as a possible ally.

"Very well, I am called The Leviathan, I am the ruler of Romania, and I came seeking you in the hopes that we may become allies, and perhaps friends. You and I have a lot in common actually." Xander explained, standing comfortably and relaxed even though he was in the presence of a guy who was able to easily kick the shit out of Superman and a majority of the Justice League; at the same time.

"Ha, what do you think we might have in common Leviathan?" Black Adam replied, leaning forward and resting his forearm on his knee while gesturing for Xander to answer. "I know you are new in ruling your country, where as I have been alive for many centuries. What do WE possibly have in common?" Black Adam continued, a bit of scoffing coming through his voice.

"Ah, well there you see. Though I certainly am not as old as you are, I understand the need to protect my people, the need to protect those you love, and your family." Xander answered, this next part needed to be carefully said so as not to anger Black Adam, "I know your story, Teth Adam, widower of a murdered wife and child and oath maker that you would never let it happen again. I too protect those I love and believe that irredeemable criminals need to be permanently dealt with; I believe you would say an eye for an eye? We have both been changed and empowered by wizards; said same wizard banished us from our loved ones and homes through magic. And now we both rule our countries and don't believe that evil should be allowed to prosper on the blood of innocents. I guess our main difference is that you have been able to find love and a family in Isis and Osiris, where as fate seems set on continually destroying my chance at a happy family." Xander completed, and waited to see how Black Adam would reply.

Black Adam had tensed at the brief summary of his past, but then relaxed a bit more as The Leviathan discussed their similarities, the last part of the description coming across with a hint of sorrow that Black Adam recognized from his own life.

Xander stood silently, waiting and watching as he could see the Kahndaqi ruler was thinking over what he had been told.

Black Adam's voice was quieter when he answered, but was easily heard across the throne room where Xander was standing, "If what you say is true, then yes, we do have a bit in common. But you still haven't told me what you want. It is my experience that people always want something from me, whether it is to do something, or to not do something, it seems always the same." Adam finished, sitting back in his throne and setting both arms down on his armrests while crossing his legs in a relaxed pose.

"Well, honestly I'd just like an ally. You protect me, I protect you; that type of thing." Xander stated through the speakers on his helmet. Seeing Black Adam beginning to scowl, Xander quickly continued, "Towards that end I would like to say that I've already saved your wife's life and that of your people, and I would like to help save your adopted son, the brother of Isis, Osiris's life. If you would merely call your family here, and have Osiris bring his 'friend' Sobek as well, I can further help you and your family." Xander answered, almost spitting out the word 'friend' as if it were a curse word when referring to Sobek's relationship with Osiris.

This definitely got Black Adam's attention and he immediately stood up from his throne and started marching across the floor towards Xander, "You will tell me what the threat to their lives are, and you will tell me now." Adam stated; it wasn't yelled, but it was definitely a command.

Xander merely gestured to the side of him, and commanded three portals to open up, depositing the severed heads of Death, Pestilence, and War in glass and metal containers.

Black Adam's march towards Xander stopped and diverted towards the three heads. The antihero Black Adam circled the three heads in examination before looking up at The Leviathan with a raised eyebrow.

Xander answered the earlier question, "I present to you the remains of three of the 'Four Horsemen of the Apokolips.' They were created by the scientist Chang Fu in the science facilities of the former Oolong Island off the coast of China. They where the mortal vessels for three of the four Old Gods of the planet Apokolips, and if left unchecked they would have been responsible for the death of millions, including your Isis. I would appreciate if you didn't mention this to anybody else, as I really don't want to get into a war with China for nuking their island. Now if you would call your wife and son, we can finish off the last…"

Xander's statement was interrupted by Black Adam flying across the room in a blink of an eye and picking Xander up by the front of his suit.

"How do you know this! Who are you and what do you mean 'they would have been responsible for the death of Isis'?" Black Adam snarled.

Xander nonchalantly quirked his head to the side and then wrapped his hands around where Black Adam was lifting him off the ground. Using his super strength and Nth metal infused hands, Xander overpowered Black Adam's magically granted strength and then Xander floated out of the grasp of the startled Kahndaqi ruler.

"No touchy Adam. I know of the things I say because I've seen and read pieces of your future had I not interrupted the plans of your enemies. The future going forward is up to you. I can be a friend and ally, together we can save your son's life, or I can leave now and you can deal with possibly losing Osiris. The choice is now yours. Call your wife, her brother who you consider an adopted son, and Sobek, or I'll leave you to deal with what comes your way." Xander said with steel in his voice. Xander had been the punching bag for his father as a child, and he wasn't going to let somebody bully or intimidate him again if he had anything to say about it, not even a potential ally like Black Adam.

Black Adam was stunned; not even Superman or Captain Marvel could have as easily peeled his hands away like The Leviathan had done. That, mixed with the words The Leviathan spoke caused him to step back.

Looking down at the three glass encased heads, and then back at The Leviathan, Black Adam made his choice.

Yelling towards the ceiling in ancient Egyptian (Xander recognized bits and pieces of it from his research sessions with Giles and the Scoobies) Black Adam called out and a Feitheran flew out of the balconies surrounding the upper levels of the throne room and came to land before Black Adam.

Xander watched on as Black Adam instructed the hawk like humanoid Feitheran to go and bring Osiris, Isis, and Sobek to the throne room. The Feitheran nodded in reply to Black Adam's command and then launched into the air on feathered wings before flying out of a sun filled opening in the stone roof of the throne room.

Xander and Black Adam stood facing each other, neither fidgeting nor speaking as they waited for the arrival of Isis and Osiris; Black Adam's scowl and anger did not leave his face the entire time.

Soon enough though Isis flew in from the opening in the roof, and Osiris followed after. Landing next to her husband, the tanned beauty was garbed in a white outfit, split to cover her chest and the second as a wrap-like skirt around her hips. It was perfect garb for a desert country like Kahndaq.

"You called for me husband? Perhaps to greet our guest?" She stated as she stepped into Black Adam's arms and kissed the Kahndaq ruler's cheek; Black Adam's arm instinctively wrapping protectively around her.

Rather than answering his wife though, Adam turned to Osiris, who landed beside them and bluntly asked, "Where is Sobek?"

Osiris was a bit taken aback by Black Adam's tone, but answered with a smile, "We were out playing by the river. He should be here any moment."

A shuffling and scrapping sound of scales on stone behind Xander caused him to turn around just as a large crocodile-like creature wandered into the room and walked towards Xander and the Black Adam family.

Xander's feral grin, shown under his helmet, but was covered from being seen as he ignored Isis and Osiris and turned towards Sobek.

"Why hello there, Sobek. I so wanted to meet you after greeting your family earlier." Xander stated while walking over so the three glass encased heads were in between Xander and Sobek. "I think you recognize the three figures here, isn't that right Sobek? Or should I call you Famine…?" Xander finished an evil smile creeping across his face under his mask.

Sobek's shuffle into the room halted abruptly at Xander's greeting, and you could see the hulking crocodile humanoid freeze, hesitate, and then a myriad of emotions flickered across the creatures face before settling into one of absolute rage when Famine realized that the gig was up and that this stranger in black had ruined his scheme to devour Osiris and the Black Adam family.

Bellowing, the seven foot tall green scaled behemoth leapt through the air with surprising speed, jaws open to devour Xander head first.

Xander remained unmoving in the path of the attack, ignoring the cry from Osiris behind him and the sounds of a scuffle as Xander's helmet informed him that Black Adam was restraining Osiris from helping his 'friend' Sobek attack The Leviathan.

The only inkling that Xander was ready for the attack was the brief tensing of muscles as the world around Xander seemed to slow down. Once again vectors, trajectories, and force points were tracked by Xander's eyes and senses while the Jarvis super-AI in Xander's helmet instantaneously communed with Xander's mind, telling him of the weak points on a crocodile.

To the outside observer, it looked as if The Leviathan was about to lose his head, for just as Famine's jaws snapped shut where Xander's head should have been, the black suited figure blurred a step to his left before catching Famine in a headlock; crocodiles have amazing muscles for crunching things, but are as weak as a kitten when it comes to opening those jaws back open again. Against Xander's super strength, strength on par with Superman's, Famine had no hope of opening those jaws again.

Xander's hand latched around Hunger's jaws, but where the black gloves met at the tip of the creature's maw, the nano-clanks flowed and merged into a solid band of black metal. Not one to deprive a host of entertainment in his own home, Xander lashed out with his foot in a blur of speed that would have made The Flash proud, breaking both of Famine's kneecaps and toppling the creature forward to spill onto the floor. Famine's head hit the ground with a snapping thud, the creature's head landing exactly in line with the three glass encased heads of the other Horsemen.

Xander smirked under his helmet, and turned while planting his foot hard in the middle of Famine's back, right between the shoulder blades.

The sickening 'snap' of a breaking spine was mirrored by the flinch of Osiris who was still being held back by Black Adam.

Xander gestured to the three glass encased heads, and Famine under his foot. "And there you go Adam, I do hope you will let me call you Adam? A matching set, the Four Horsemen of the Apokolips, created for the purpose of killing you, Isis, and Osiris."

Xander could see Osiris's emotions warring upon the boy's face, but Isis's brother soon hardened his features towards Famine as he saw the hate shining from the creature's eyes back at him.

Black Adam moved towards Xander and then crouched down in front of Famine, anger and rage clearly painted on the antihero's face. "You would attack my family? You would seek to destroy that which I hold dear? An eye for an eye Sobek, your sentence is death!" Black Adam finished with a roar, before reaching down and grabbing Famine by the head and heaving backwards.

There was a heaving popping and ripping sound, and blood splashed across the floor and Xander's black suit pants; the blood seeming to be absorbed into the black material of The Leviathan's suit.

When Black Adam stood up, he gazed into the eyes of Famine, the last of the Four Horsemen, and watched as the life left the creature's eyes.

Black Adam heard a raspy chuckle sound from the corpse at his feet, and stepped back quickly as a wispy smoke like spirit emerged from the body of Famine.

However before the spirit could say anything, before the Apokoliptian old God could taunt Black Adam with revenge, The Leviathan snapped his fingers and a transporter dropped a Ghost-trap that looked similar to that used in the movie Ghostbusters.

Xander stomped his foot down on the trigger, and a white light exploded from the trap. A light that quickly sucked the spirit of Famine into it and then closed. The lights on the trap went from green to red, and then all was silent in the throne room.

Black Adam looked from the head in his hands, to The Leviathan, then to the three heads arrayed around him, then back at The Leviathan. Isis walked forward and rested her hand on her husband's shoulder, and with that gesture you could see a bit of the tension go out of the Kahndaq ruler as Black Adam realized that his family was going to survive for another day; all thanks to this strange black garbed man.

"Well, I can't say that I'm a hero. But I would do anything to protect my friends. So, can I call you a friend Black Adam?" Xander asked, putting a hand forward for Black Adam to shake.

Black Adam stared at The Leviathan for a moment, and then slowly, ever so slowly, a smile split the antihero of Kahndaq's face.

"Friends." Black Adam agreed, grasping Xander's forearm in a more ancient form of greeting than the modern handshake; a greeting of allies that showed there wasn't a dagger up their sleeve meant to stab the other in the back.

With that, Xander had finally found his first super powered friend and ally in this new dimension.

* * *

**AN: Well, some people called it, but I figured it was pretty obvious given Xander's traits and actions. Xander comes from Sunnydale, and his type of hero is not the capture and release kind. He grew up learning that sometimes you have to kill in order to survive or to ensure the survival of those you love or care for; that in order for good to thrive, sometimes evil must be absolutely destroyed. This should be interesting as Xander will no doubt run afoul of the Justice League some day. Hope you enjoyed it. Cheers.**


	20. Chapter 20: Idle Hands

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: More fun with Xander. Though he may be growing in strength and skills, so do his challenges. As an aside, have you ever noticed how Superman always gets knocked around a ton before winning the day? Or how much kryptonite actually made it to earth? Yeah, I always thought that was weird.**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

**Chapter 20: Idle Hands**

"Idle hands are the Devil's playthings." Unknown

The friendship between Black Adam and The Leviathan had been quickly cemented, not only by Xander's saving of Adam's family, but also because Xander immediately started trading with and working for the benefit of the Kahndaqi people.

Kahndaq had always been treated as a small unimportant country by the rest of the world. Made up of primarily liberal Sunni Muslims, the citizens of Kahndaq were primarily of Arabic decent and spoke the language of their neighbors, Jordon and Egypt, while at the same time clinging to their own ancient culture. The Middle Eastern country didn't have large amounts of oil so the western world had been content to allow the military dictatorship to tyrannically rule Kahndaq without challenge; the western powers only threw a fit when Black Adam took over the country. Because Kahndaq wasn't of any significant strategic value to the western powers militarily or economically, the world had been content to ignore it after making sure that Black Adam and his people couldn't attempt to attack any of their neighbors. Namely, 'unnamed' world powers had mined the hell out of the sandy and barren boarders of Kahndaq; creating large 'devil's gardens' of anti-personnel and anti-tank landmines of every conceivable size and shape, creating in effect a demilitarized zone inside the boarder of the entire country of Kahndaq.

Getting rid of the landmines Black Adam was something that Xander was perfectly situated to deal with, for though landmines are incredibly dangerous to humans, swarms of millions of miniature clanks were perfect for finding and digging up the landmines. So what if a few miniature clanks blew up while digging up the land mines? Almost the same amount of little clanks met a similar if not worse fate in Xander's laboratories every day, and Xander had left standing orders that all disabled or destroyed clanks were to have their parts salvaged and to be remade. Besides, Xander ended up gaining multiple tons of high explosives, waste not want not after all.

Still, this didn't really keep Xander busy, and it wasn't like Xander could stay in Kahndaq for long, fish and guest start to stink after three days after all, and it wasn't wise to piss off a guy who would tear off your arms and beat you with them. Thus Xander had connected Black Adam's chief bureaucrats with Igor and left the career minions to figure out the trade/smuggling details between the two countries. With that Xander went back to Romania. That had let to Xander's current situation, trying to keep busy.

* * *

Xander spent the first couple hours back in Romania after dealing with Oolong Island and Black Adam by taking a break with Tara and Dora, but wearing those two out left Xander with more time on his hands still. A bored Spark is a dangerous thing, which was truly shown by the fact that the next twenty four hours saw Xander working through the halls of Castle Bob installing more traps, sensors, and killing machines than could be found in all of the tombs and crypts in the Lara Croft and Indian Jones movies and video games combined.

After that, Xander again went back to dabbling in genetic monstrosities. What started as an attempt to shrink the population of pigeons around the fortress and of the squirrels that had infested the indoor forested gardens inside the castle proper became genetic monstrosities and added layers of defense. First, the lasers on the sharks were upgraded and Xander crossed electric eels with flying fish, then Xander went on to crossbreed the exoskeleton armor and pinching mandibles of stag beetles onto tree climbing leopards. What he ended up with was a moat full of aggressive sharks that liked to shoot pigeons out of the air, flying eels that had a nasty habit of electrocuting people who got too close to the moat and an internal garden with giant spotted meat eating armored beasts that thrived in the trees; but at least he had gotten rid of those pesky squirrels and pooping pigeons. Venus fly traps were cross bred with the tentacle monsters from Xander's chateau, and Xander even did a fair job of reproducing the sleep inducing poppies from the wizard of Oz; now if he could just figure out a way for the gardeners to be able to do their jobs without a gas mask and chainmail armor, he would be set.

Still, that had at least taken up Xander's waking hours for his first day back at his new home, and it was always nice to put those homey touches on one's castle. The real problem started to happen when Xander went to sleep, for when he woke up he found himself standing on top of his fortress with a newly created super magnet that was eerily labeled, 'The Moon Stealer.'

* * *

After making sure to unplug the subconsciously created dooms day device, Xander took several safe steps back while trying to convince his subconscious not to end the world while he was asleep. The only response he got from his inner voices was, _'Eh, we were bored, what else did you expect to happen?'_

'_Damn,_' Xander thought, _'I really need to get a handle on my subconscious, but until I figure out how to do that, I'll just have to keep busy.'_

With that thought Xander made his way back down into his megalithic fortress to find something to keep him busy. Apparently finding something to do was easy, for no sooner had Xander keyed himself through the seven different layers of security and traps at the rooftop door, and corresponding mantrap, but Igor was waiting for him.

"Sir, I've taken the time to put together the food projections and tallies on our supplies of imported goods, and we are experiencing shortages on several staples of life and the long term projections on food growth don't look good." Igor reported while handing over a computer panel to Xander before continuing to explain the situation, "It appears that the limited growth cycle of Romania and the fact that we are coming up on our first snow soon does not allow for us to grow enough food to sustain the Jägers. Where as we may have had enough food to feed three million elderly and invalids on their reduced dietary needs, the same number of fully healthy Jäger monsters and quadruple that in healthy citizens is taxing our stores. We gained a small benefit by killing off all violent criminals in the country but we are in need of the Master's help in finding a solution that will solve this." Igor completed, stoic faced and unruffled about the fact that he just reported that they would all starve if Xander didn't come up with a solution.

Xander quickly flipped through the electronic report, and he would groan or curse under his breath every so often. However when Xander got to the end of the report, his face turned a ghastly shade of white and his mouth opened in horror. "NOOOOOOO! This can't be! This is Horrible!" He spat, quickly double checking the figures on the report and cross referencing his finding.

"Yes sir, the general food problem is not good." Igor replied.

Xander blinked and looked up at Igor, having forgotten that Igor was right next to him due to the shock of what he had just read. Clearing his throat, Xander continued to read but also replied to Igor, "No, I was talking about the fact that the box of Twinkies I squashed was the last one in the entire country. Damn, the hostess gods really did send an omen telling me to destroy Oolong." Xander cursed.

His more rational part kicked in then, though Xander's more rational part wasn't the most rational in the world.

"The first stop gap solution that I can think of is to set up a smuggling ring." Xander said out loud while rubbing his chin. The voices in the back of Xander's head threw shouted pros and cons to multiple different solutions that were going through Xander's brain.

The voices in Xander head settled their arguments with a round of rock paper scissors, where fortunately the more rational voice won and they agreed on starting up shell companies to import goods via the transporter system and to use the new alliance with Kahndaq to bring in supplies.

Xander smiled to himself before turning to Igor, "That's what we will do. Igor, set up some shell companies to purchase grocer goods and the other things we need. Contact Kahndaq and see what goods we can purchase through them and offer to have our clanks fully rebuild all of their country's transportation and utility infrastructure in exchange. If we still need more, I believe we found some gold and treasures in the depths of the castle before we rebuilt it, correct?"

"Yes sir. We also found a great deal of wealth at the remnants of Arcane manor. Apparently the towns around the Arcane manor believed the place to be haunted. That was to be in my second report, the Jägers reported that they have fully killed all of the flesh golems called 'un-men' infesting the dilapidated warren that was Arcane manor and we have hired one of the local gypsy tribes to break any of the curses on the property or found on the items on the grounds. The same goes for the treasure pillaged from Vlad's vaults." Igor reported unblinkingly, though the stewards face did get a bit of maniacal glee in it as he described the slaughter of the un-men and the curses that had inhabited several of the items found by the Jägers; who would curse a toothbrush to give somebody diarrhea when they used it?

Xander was still deep in thought with multiple streams of consciousness running through his head, one of which was, _'Does Igor ever blink or crack an emotion other than maniacal glee?_ So it was that Xander didn't fully concentrate on what Igor had said about Arcane manor until a voice in the back of Xander's head yelled at him.

'_Yo, Numb Nuts! Listen up, this isn't algebra class, Igor just said something important.'_ A snide voice of condescension shouted from the back of Xander's head.

Xander shook his head and looked back at Igor, "Wait, what did you just say? Did I hear you mention Arcane Manor and un-men?" Xander asked pointedly, raising an eyebrow at Igor.

"Yes sir, Arcane Manor is approximately one hundred kilometers from our current location. The Jägers cleared out an infestation of nasty little flesh golems with a propensity to eat human flesh. From the remains of the damaged library and an office that we found, the residence used to be owned by a Dr. Arcane who was apparently obsessed with the occult. The contents of his books and journals seem to describe his obsession with immortality, demonic forces and with a creature referred to as 'The Swamp Thing.'" Igor expanded on his earlier statement.

As Igor explained the situation to Xander, Xander's eyes started to gleam and Igor's earlier maniacal glee started to now show on Xander's face. An eerie light seemed to shine on Xander's face as if he was thinking crazy thoughts; which knowing Xander and his Spark was probably what he was doing.

"Bwa Ha ha ha ha ha Ha!" Xander bellowed at the ceiling, his head thrown back in laughter before he began to do a little Scooby dance. Without thinking about it, Xander picked up Igor and started waltzing around the hallway where they were standing.

A sudden flash of a camera and the voice of Bob the Castle saying, "Heh, blackmail photos, he he he." Snapped Xander out of it.

Xander blinked, and realize that he had picked Igor up off the ground and was currently dipping the startled hunchbacked steward as if they were doing the tango.

Xander blushed and quickly stood up while placing Igor firmly on the man's feet.

"Um, sorry about that, but your statement gave me an idea so good that I could have kissed you." Xander tried to explain with chagrin.

Igor merely looked back at Xander and raised an eyebrow. "If The Master has the urge to kiss or tango somebody, might I suggest he go and visit with Tara or Dora?" Igor questioned before turning and leaving Xander, not waiting for a response.

Xander yelled after Igor to start up the smuggling ring with the found gold, and Igor didn't reply as both Master and Minion knew that the other knew what to do; Xander's command was probably overkill as it was. As the head minion, Igor always knew what Xander wanted before Xander commanded it.

Xander remembered why he had gotten so excited, and the maniacal grin came across his face again. Yelling at the ceiling, Xander queried, "Bob! Which laboratory did we relegate the Nth Direction Device to?"

"Hey Xander, or should I call you 'twinkle toes?'" The voice of the fortress stated with humor, which now sounded like what Xander remembered Jesse's voice sounding like; a tribute to his dead friend whose interest in comic books had helped Xander have the knowledge to survive and thrive in this new dimension.

Xander shook off his chagrin as Bob the castle continued speaking, "It's down in sub-basement sixteen, laboratory twelve, right between the smelting and metal working facilities and near the secret passage that leads to the chemistry distillation center." The Fortress explained.

Xander smiled, before quickly taking off in a sprint, using The Flash's speed skills imparted through Xander's Amazo inspired nano-clanks; a little voice in the back of Xander's head made a mental note to see about expanding his nano-clank Amazo power collection in addition to Superman's strength and flight powers and The Flash's speed. More though Xander was focusing on the modifications that would need to be made to a device to point Xander to the solution to his Country's food problems, well that and on dodging the traps and trip-falls that the castle threw at Xander to keep Xander in shape.

Bob the Castle wasn't as set on giving Xander exercise like the Chateau was, but the Fortress had informed Xander that if Xander wasn't kept in shape, both Bob and Xander would never hear the end of it from their Aunt the Chateau.

Xander had dodged the last of the giant band saws that had popped up in his path after leaping over, under, or around the missiles, projectiles, and rabbits with 'mean streaks a mile long' that Bob had unleashed on him. Why Xander had imprinted Bob with the memories of Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail Xander didn't know, but the fuzzy bunny rabbit that ate humans like celery was downright frightening.

Fortunately for Xander, he made it safely to the confines of his distillery laboratory and knew he was safe. The rule was no attacking Xander while he was working on his experiments, while a crisis was going on, while Xander was 'entertaining' ladies, or after his daily exercise regimen was completed. Slowing down, Xander entered the distillery room that was now swarming with chemists, botanists, alchemists, poisoners and doctors. Xander's education system had enabled him to fully staff up his many different research and development branches, and the chemical distillery was just one of the areas of the fortress that was swarming with working citizens/minions.

The distillery wasn't merely a small room with the 'Mr. Perfect Coffee Engine' that Xander had originally used to get in touch with his inner Heterodyne and internal personalities. No, now giant thirty foot tall hoppers and stills dotted the room with work benches, centrifuges and chemistry hoods making up a portion of the large room while the walls were covered in glassed in rooms with hazard suit wearing scientists and techs who purified and combined chemicals to formulate anything that Xander could ever want or need. Still, a corner and workbench in the room was left unused and roped off for 'The Leviathan's' private usage. The scientists didn't know who Xander was without his helmet on, didn't even know his name, but they knew he was the head of the labs and had been granted permission by The Leviathan to use his personal equipment.

Xander smiled and nodded to the techs as he walked through the area, stopping to read results from several of the scientists and techs or to answer questions regarding problems that his researchers were having. Finally making it over to the roped off area, Xander ducked under the ropes and clicked the on switch to start powering up the distillery. After making sure the system was clean of any of the chemicals that had been present in the past usages, Xander ordered the castle to transport down a literal ton of green grass, flowers, mosses, tree leaves, conifer needles and algae to a holding tank next to his work area. A humming snap of energy discharge to Xander's right and the weight gauge on the holding tank reading one ton told him that his deliver had been made. Xander walked over to the tank and pressed several buttons on the attached digital panel. After setting the machine to first 'frappe' and then to 'liquefy' Xander made sure the plant material had been rendered to the right consistency to be used in the distillery before opening the nozzle and starting the flow of fluid into the distillery machine.

Setting a large multi-liter beaker under the output spout, Xander pressed several more buttons and the distillery started pulling the essence of plant life out of the soupy mess in the tank.

Xander remembered how he had woken up one morning to find himself next to a radically different distillery from when he originally created it. The notes that Xander's hand had scribbled while he was asleep stated that he had been trying to distill items down to their base plutonian elements, namely earth, air, water and fire. Though the distillery hadn't worked as originally designed, showing that not every experiment that Xander tried worked as planned, the device had been surprisingly good at breaking things down to their essence.

For instance, Xander had inserted a flock of butchered chickens into his machine to try and find out what it was that made so many things taste like chicken; his scientists were still examining the liquid extract for uses in making inedible products edible, or at least taste like they should be eaten.

Then there was the essence of Twinkie. Xander was kicking himself for wasting his second to last box of Twinkies by having them run through the distillery machine. However, the liquid essence of Twinkie had sent Xander on such a euphoric trip that he was convinced that he was on the right path to creating either the ambrosia of the Gods, or the fabled Elixir of Life. Either way, it was damn good. It was too bad that it took an entire box of Twinkies to make one tablespoon full of the godly perfection that was essence of hostess.

Xander's ponderings on the past uses of the machine was interrupted by the sound of drizzling fluid that plopped into the beaker. The first drops came out kind of globulous, a few drops at first, but then a drizzle as a bright almost ethereal glowing green fluid the consistency of chilled tree sap flowed into the beaker. Xander leaned down to look at the fluid through the walls of the glass beaker, and he was amazed as it almost seemed like he could see pictorial landscapes of forests, plains and rich gardens flashing from inside the depths of the fluid; he had distilled "The Green."

Igor's comments about Arcane Manner and The Swamp Thing reminded Xander about a force that existed within the DC Comics that wasn't magic, it wasn't science. It was simply called "The Green." The Green was the force within all living plants, the essence of the earth and all living green or growing plant matter on planet earth; there were even stories of The Green being a force that spanned the universe and connected to all plant matter, whether on earth or from extraterrestrial sources. Though The Green, in its small liquid essence could possibly have some capabilities of being used as a fertilizer, the fluid before Xander had a better usage, as a tool for finding those who could control The Green; for locating those individuals who could control the very growth and form of plant matter.

The machine before Xander stopped producing the liquid Green essence and powered itself down after completing its task. Xander picked up the fluid and carefully carried it over to a seemingly seamless wall. Looking around to see if any of the other researchers in the room could see him, Xander realized that one of the large silo hoppers of chemicals blocked his view of the rest of the room and vice versa. Laying his hand on the wall and willing the nano-clanks in his body to communicate with the systems in the wall, a clunking sound of multiple metal bars being retracted was heard and a door sized portion of the wall sunk in a bit and then retracted to the side. As Xander walked into the dark recess behind where the door was, the door sealed itself behind him and lights came on showing that he was in a small metal closet looking room.

Pressing a finger to what looked like a rivet on the wall; the floor beneath Xander's feet began to move downwards, showing that the metal closet floor was really a hydraulic lift. When he reached the level below where the distillery was located, Xander put his hand on the door and closed his eyes as the clanks in his system communicated an image of what was on the other side of the hidden door; pinhole cameras showing that the smelting and laminating room was open as it appeared the engineers and workers had all gone to take a break and left the automated systems monitoring the armor making process.

Xander opened his eyes and stepped back as the secret passage doorway opened up and he entered what was basically the heart of his armor making facility. Large cast pour spouts, rollers, drawers and presses were present in the warehouse sized room, with loading and shipping elevators present along with limited range transporter relays that enabled the workers to move the heavy polymer and metal material around the room. In the center of the room were two devices of particular interest. First was a tank of highly controlled chemicals that was kept at a very high temperature. Inside of that chemical mix doubly-shrunk nano-clanks the size of tiny molecules worked layering atoms as close together as possible before phase shifting a second layer of atoms, also layered as close together as possible, and laminated to the layer above and below it. It was creating a type of armor that Xander figured should stand up to about anything, the only problem was that it was impossible to create in larger batches than ten by ten foot at a time, and even then the only way Xander had to work with it was to use the transportation technology to literally make portions of it disappear to another location. Fortunately the scrap could be reused, but the recycling process was just as painstakingly difficult and time intensive as the creation. Xander's workers and tiny nano-clanks had been working on the first ten by ten sheet for over two weeks and still hadn't been able to complete an inch thick sheet yet.

However it was the second one of a kind device in the middle of the room that was Xander's focus. Five glowing blue orbs of transdimensional energy were arrayed with straight compressed diamond tubes coming off of them, all of the tubes opposite ends pointing at one spot inside a lattice work of crystalline pyramid blocks that could be moved and then reattached to each other. The nature of the pyramid crystals was such that Xander could create a space in the middle shaped like a facetted gemstone. Xander walked up to the device, making sure the safety was on before quickly removing the pyramid blocks and then reassembling them until the open center of the shape was that of a marquee gem cut; the darker faceted 'bowtie' in the center of the marquee cut was what he was aiming for with his end product. Then, carefully pouring the essence of The Green from the beaker into the shape, Xander put the remaining pyramid shape back on top, sealed the blocks together, and then put the blocks back into the center of the device.

Heat, pressure, and time. That's what it took to form a diamond, that's what it took to form any sort of gem. Here in front of Xander was the device that did all of those in a second. A quirk of the dimensional energy that leaked from fully tapping the energy spheres was that time moved differently in other dimensions. When the shear amount of energy, heat, and time impacted from five different dimensional portals opened up and pointed at the same spot they could flash crystallize a gemstone.

Retrieving a pair of welding goggles, Xander set the arming switch on the machine, and then moved back five steps to where the control panel was. Resting his hand on the panel, Xander communicated with the electronic systems to start the countdown to firing the device. By activating the control panel a klaxon sounded, warning workers in the area to be wary of the experiment going on in the smelting lab, and giant metal blast walls rose up out of the floor and dropped from the ceiling to cover the machine.

As the blast walls sealed, Xander put the goggles on over his head and made sure they covered his eyes before turning his back towards the blast walls. The countdown behind him turned verbal as it hit number five.

A mechanical voice stated, "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, activation" before a blast of energy from the device filtered so much dimensional energy at the essence of The Green that a flash of light issued even through the solid metal blast walls and flooded the smelting room with a flare of white light; a light that would have blinded Xander for a while if he hadn't been wearing the goggles and been facing the opposite direction.

Even still Xander had to blink his eyes a couple of times after removing his goggles, and then wiping his eyes he turned to see that the blast walls were retreating.

Smirking to himself, Xander walked up to the targeted array between the five transdimensional orbs while ordering the castle to shut down the device fully. Reaching in, Xander retrieved the arrays and started to loosen the pyramid blocks. As the blocks broke away, Xander eventually was left with a perfectly glowing green facetted gem. It was weird, but as Xander brought the gem up to the light, he swore he smelled the scent of a pine tree car freshener issuing up from the gem.

Shaking his head at the weirdness that seemed to be a constant in his life, Xander walked out of the smelting facility and took a right into the hallway. A quick right again had him walking into a storage room where devices of all kinds were on the wall.

Sitting in a cubby hole on the wall was the Nth Direction device, right next to the Point-Of-View gun and Xander's version of a tricorder. Some workers had questioned the purpose of the gun and the tricorder being in a room of tools for the researchers, but it was soon pointed out that they were both there for the sole purpose of making sure the scientists didn't kill each other if such nerdy debates arose such as, "Who was the better star trek captain" or "who would win between Superman and Batman" or even "Metric system versus the U.S. customary system of measurement." Such geeky arguments had led to past bloodshed; bloodshed which fortunately didn't spread too far due to the limited level of physical fitness of the majority of scientists and researchers.

Xander didn't have a use for those two items nor the other series of sonic screwdrivers or other power tools that he had stored in the room. He was there for the Nth Direction device.

Taking the device out of its cubby hole and carrying it and The Green gem over to a work bench, Xander flipped over the device before he popped the back of it off and then grabbed a soldering gun.

Humming to himself 'Waltzing Matilda,' Xander rewired the machine with a few minute changes before mounting The Green crystal in the center of the circuit board and then setting the system to pass a constant current through the stone. Snapping the cover back on, Xander flipped the machine back over and hit the 'On' button.

"Woah, Crikey mate. Hold on a moment while I take a gander about the world. Ta'day we're hunt'n for the elusive Green wielder." The machine stated in an Australian voice that sounded very close to that of The Crocodile Hunter, a bit of a tribute to Steve Irwin who to the best of Xander's knowledge didn't exist in the DC comic book universe that Xander now found himself in. Still, Xander couldn't think of a better person to help guide him through the wilderness.

A holographic map of the world appeared in a flash above the newly reformatted directional device, the map appeared as a grid of the world in a green and black grid.

"Alright mate, let's see what little darlings we can find today." The machine continued in the excited voice of an Australian male. "Well looky there! What do you know, I see several places that have people connected to The Green. Please select your desired location mate." The machine finished while multiple glowing red dots started to pop up around the world.

Some of them were in places where Xander didn't know anything about such as the Outback of Australia, in the jungles of Brazil or India, in the Himalayan Mountains and even a few scattered through the Midwestern plains and west of North America. However it was the three glowing dots in Louisiana and Gotham that really drew Xander's attention. Two of those three red dots were glowing brighter than any other ones on the map, supposedly showing that the individuals at those locations were more strongly connected with The Green.

Xander saw that there were two in Gotham, and when he had the map zoom in he noticed that one was in Slaughter Swamp on the outskirts of Gotham, while the other one looked to be inside Arkham Asylum.

Xander scowled in thought for a second and stroked his chin before speaking his thoughts out loud, "Hmm, well the dim spot in Slaughter Swamp must be Grundy, so that's a no go, and I'd bet that the bright dot in Arkham is Poison Ivy." Xander signed as he thought about Poison Ivy. He had always had a soft spot for the villainess who had been a brilliant botanist before being betrayed and turned into her current form. If it wasn't for the fact that Ivy was attempting to save the earth by killing humans, Xander would have tried to approach her to help solve his problem; as it was though, he would have to see about offering her a chance to make the world a better place when he had enough political capital to protect her without the Justice League as well as Batman attacking him.

Flipping the map to shift to Louisiana and the last of the remaining three dots that currently interested Xander, Xander decided on his target, "Looks like it's going to be The Swamp Thing and the Louisiana swamps after all." Xander ordered his machine.

"Woah, crikey. There are poisonous snakes and alligators in there. Water moccasins! Danger, Danger!" The machine warned.

Xander gave it a thought, and then shrugged, "Well I was looking for an excuse to add the new shield technology to my nano-clanks. I guess there is no time like the present to get it done." Xander stated as he got up and carried his tracking device with him towards the energy field laboratory.

As he walked, Xander started humming and whistling a song to himself while he thought, _'I wonder if putting the discharge weapon in the clanks in my hands would do the trick to bleed off energy?' _He thought. Then a second thought went through Xander's head, _'Hey! The Castle and Chateau have been messing with the color and light spectrum of the energy fields. I wonder if they've figured out a way to absorb light or even project images in the energy field? I could make a stealth field like the Predator movies!"_ Xander thought, and his smile took on an insane gleam.

With that, Xander was taken over by his spark of genius, and his whistling sounded through the halls as he quickly walked towards his energy labs. Throughout the castle the minions smiled to themselves as they heard the whistling and grinned evilly, their Master had started to create something new, and wonderful chaos was no doubt soon to follow.

* * *

**AN: Well, I actually had a lot more that I originally planned on putting out in this chapter, but that would triple the length of the chapter apparently. This is a good stopping spot so this is where I'll leave it for now. However, please note that I nailed out this chapter so quickly because I had a lot of encouragement. Thank you to everybody who sent me reviews or private messages commenting about the last chapter. Every time I read a note about the story I start thinking about it again and come up with more things that make me want to write, so thanks and please keep it up. Cheers!**


	21. Chapter 21: Making Friends, Influencing

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: I'd had this chapter pretty much worked out in my head since before I finished the last one, just needed to figure out how the pieces worked together before I put it all down on paper. Hope you enjoy, it should be a relatively long one.**

**AN: Sorry for the delay, I was waiting on my beta reader but it turns out she is in midterm exams and can't review this work. No beta reader for this chapter, I apologize for any mistakes that I missed.**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

**Chapter 21: Making Friends, Influencing People**

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."  
Mark Twain

Two and a half weeks had passed since Xander started working on integrating the new shield technology into his abilities, and he was suffering because of it; not for any physical pain but from shear loneliness and mounting frustration. Integrating the energy shield system and excess energy release mechanism into his internal nano-clanks and nano-clank clothes took longer than Xander had expected. Xander's excess time where he struggled to get his new machine working was plagued by unwanted second guesses about Zatanna and thoughts about his separation from the Scoobies; all of it pulling at his mind at the most inopportune moments, which explained the increased number of explosions in his labs. Xander still planned on heading to the swamps of Louisiana, but in true hellmouth inspired style Xander knew that if he ignored his idea of perfecting the shield before going to the swamp then he would surely find that he needed it when he got there; such was the way of Murphy-fu.

The delay of two plus weeks frustrated Xander to no end, as more time spent merely working around the castle meant more time for Xander's brain to think too much on his situation and how he missed Willow and the rest of the Scoobies. It woke him in the middle of the night, nightmares about not being there to revive Buffy in the Master's cavern, nightmares about Willow getting turned along with Jesse and Xander halving to stake her as well. Xander spent several nights waking up in a cold sweat, often with a new doomsday device created that his subconscious had decided to make.

Bombs that created a dimensional portal that would destabilize stars by sucking mass out of them were locked into vaults deep within the Castle along with cannons that would allow Xander to put a hole straight through Mars. Laser beams and energy blasters that would enable Xander to carve his name into the moon, while standing on the Earth, where taken apart and entrusted to Bob the Castle just so Xander didn't have to see them every time Xander entered his labs. Like an exhaust vent that stops a steam boiler from exploding, Xander's subconscious reacted to Xander's angst and nightmares by inventing devices that would supposedly protect him. Unfortunately no device could solve or protect Xander from his problem; he was lonely.

On the morning of December fifteenth, ten days before Christmas and a snowy morning in Romania, Xander sat with tired red eyes gazing over the roof of his fortress and upon the white clean snow as the sun rose above the mountains that surrounded his castle. Dora and Tara had tried to get Xander to go to bed with them the night before, and not even their new lingerie had been enough to draw Xander out of his funk or to go to bed with them; even their offer of combining Twinkies and sex together hadn't worked to catch Xander's attention. Afraid of his nightmares and tired of waking up to find he had built another device that could either end the world or drive sane men crazy, Xander had spent the night focusing on finishing the installation of his new shield and weapon system into his clothes and body. Completion of his project came with the rising sun, and this found Xander sitting outside in the snow contemplating life in the cold frosty air.

'_Did I do the right thing with Zatanna, walking away like that?'_ Xander debated in his head for the thousandth time.

'_Damn it man, don't be double guessing that decision again!' _The voice of the Primal growled in reply to Xander's internal question. Normally Xander wouldn't have listened to anything the Primal said, but Xander was so lonely that he was willing to listen just to be talking to somebody; even if it was with himself._ ' What? Do you really want to be in a possibly abusive relationship like your parents were in? Do you really want to be with a girl who is willing to use her powers against you just because she can? Damn it man, you're the Alpha and you don't get pushed around by anybody! She thought you were a normal human at first and still attempted to blast you through the back of that bar in Vegas, hell, she greeted you with a slap and only after knowing you for one night! Stop whining like a bitch and get over it.'_ The Primal finished with a few choice curse words that Xander questioned the anatomical capability of fulfilling.

'_We understand that you're lonely Xander, heck I had to deal with not having an equal or with being by myself during most of my travels outside Castle Heterodyne._' The voice of Xander Heterodyne stated. _'Still, you've completed your shield, so go to the swamps and talk to the Swamp Thing and stop this Dr. Phil imitation. If you want to get in touch with a feminine side then go pounce on Tara or Dora, they are more than willing to fulfill that for you.' _The Heterodyne persona groused at Xander while the Primal continued to curse in the background. Added to the cacophony of voices in Xander's head was also a little voice that cursed over the loss of Zatanna's boobs and the lack of a proper harem to date.

'_Fine, Fine! Damn it all, I'll stop bitching and go already if you stop bitching back at me. Truce already.'_ Xander cursed back internally while rising from his sitting position on the roof. Rising to his feet and stretching, Xander's back and shoulders popped and crunched a bit as the bones shifted after being stuck in a crouched position in the cold snowy December day for so long.

Yawning and stretching, rubbing his face and feeling a good shadow of beard growth, Xander gave a mental command to his the nano-clanks in his body and the little clanks located in the skin of his face cut off the hair that had grown there; giving Xander a close shave and causing the little bits of stubble to fall down onto his shirt and to drift to the snow below him; the nano-clanks in his clothing quickly absorbing the protein matter of the hair and transferred it back into calories that was given to the internal nano-clanks for dispersal. Yes it was a bit disgusting, but waste not want not after all.

Giving his back another twist to the right and then the left to get his blood flowing, Xander yawned one more time before walking towards the door back into the castle while mumbling curse words under his breath at how life sucked at the moment and how Lady Luck and Murphy could go do several anatomically impossible things.

As Xander neared the portal down into the castle a little songbird flew down from the sky and landed on the handle to the door, and started singing a cheery little song to greet the morning.

"ZAAAAP!" Xander's hand shot up towards the happy song bird and released a blast of energy that shot out of his palm and vaporized the little bird into a puff of feathers and cinders; all without breaking stride towards the door.

Xander continued to curse under his breath as he brushed the cinders off the handle and let himself into the first level of security and traps to get back into the castle; a tired and grumpy spark without coffee was a dangerous thing, and Bob the Castle expedited Xander's entrance back into the castle just to keep down any possible damage to his systems should Xander get more frustrated with his situation.

Upon entering the castle proper, Xander was met by Igor right outside the airlock/mantrap that was part of the protections for the roof entrance.

Xander began to speak, but before he could even say a word Igor forced an oversized mug of steaming coffee into Xander's hands.

"Sir, if I might suggest, please drink this first before commencing with the rest of your day." Igor stated; stoic faced as ever.

Xander frowned but complied, giving Igor a little glare before taking the hot mug of coffee and downing it in one long chug.

Ignoring the burn in order to get the caffeinated goodness into his system faster, Xander finished chugging the Sparkroast coffee and then handed back the mug with a big sigh. Xander paused and closed his eyes for a second while breathing deeply, just letting the coffee and his nano-clanks do their work at getting caffeine to his brain before opening his eyes and looking down on the short hunchback that ran Xander's empire.

"Thank you Igor, you do always seem to know just what I need don't you." Xander said, and he cracked a small smile, the first smile Xander had in over a week.

"Yes Sir, I do try. Good news Sir, the Sparkbucks coffee brand and coffee shops have fully saturated eighty percent of the world market, you now have a stranglehold on the world's coffee drinking population and added to the world wide caffeine addiction by sixty four percent." Igor stated, his stoic look turning into a blood thirsty grin as he explained the expansion of Xander's coffee empire. "Has the Master given any thoughts to my suggestion about adding nano-clanks to the coffee in order to complete his world domination?" Igor finished with a slightly insane smile that kind of scared Xander a little.

"Um, good news Igor, and um, no, we won't be adding the clanks to the coffee just yet. But keep the good ideas coming." Xander answered as he slowly inched around the still grinning master minion.

Igor's face dropped back into its classic stoic mask of indifference, "Very well master, I have your new upgraded helmet for the Leviathan outfit laid out on your bed along with a clean nano-suit. Will the master be needing anything else?" Igor completed with a slight bow.

Xander sighed and told Igor "No" before tromping past and proceeding towards his room. Xander's funk seemed to return and again hang about him like a thunder cloud of depression; though the coffee had chased away the mumbled cursing.

* * *

The Louisiana swamps are an interesting dichotomy of death and decay and life and rebirth. Some theories regarding life on planet Earth suggest that the beginnings of life on this planet first formed in a primordial soup not altogether unlike the mash of plant, mineral and animal that made up the soggy marshes and swamps of the Atchafalaya Basin.

Brackish water gave way to algae filled septic pools that stank of methane and swirled with mud kicked up by the animal life that swam in its depths. The American Alligators shared space with many different types of birds and fish in the muddy waters, and snakes, birds and insects populated the partially submerged Cyprus trees and nested in the Spanish moss and fungus that populated the tree tops.

It was into this setting that Xander's portal opened up, depositing Xander (in his Leviathan outfit) floating five feet over the level of the waters. Besides the occasional levy, there wasn't a spot for Xander to really land on solid ground, so it looked like he would have to find the 'Swamp Thing' through use of his flight abilities.

"Crikey, would you look over there. That's a Snowy Egret, she's a beauty she is." The directional device in Xander's hand stated in an Australian accent as it described some of the wildlife that was within view of where Xander appeared.

"Great, thanks, but could we focus on finding Alec Holland so we can get out of this swamp?" Xander grumpily asked looking down at the device in his hand; he was still a bit cranky and not really in the mood to have to both float around a swamp while dealing with a machine that was more interested in doing bird spotting than getting to the goal of the trip.

"Woah there, I thought we were looking for the elusive Green user, or in this case Swamp Thing?" The device questioned.

"Same thing you stupid machine. Alec Holland was originally a scientist who was working on synthesizing a chemical compound that mirrors the Green. Mercenaries attacked him to force him to give them the formula, and in the fight he was covered in the chemical, lit on fire, and dived into the swamp where he died. Somehow he became one with the Green and emerged with a misshapen body made out of plant matter. He can control any plant and even travel great distances by reshaping his body out of plant matter… wait a second, why the hell am I explaining this to you!" Xander started out describing the situation to the machine but ended up just snapping in frustration. "Frankly, you really don't have to know all this, your job is just to find him. So get on with it already!" Xander snarked.

"Woah there, fine, travel south by southeast towards the coast line and in one thousand meters you should find him… few chops short a barbie you are today mate." The Green machine replied.

Xander didn't really answer; rather he focused on following the arrow on the machine as he floated in the right direction pointed by the machine while moving around the occasional trees in his way.

"I know you didn't want me to describe the wildlife to you, but you might want to watch out for the Woah! Danger Danger!…" The machine started, only the warning was too late as a water moccasin, aka cotton mouth, fell out of the tree that Xander was floating under, and landed right around Xander's shoulders and neck.

"Ahhhh! Get it off! Get it off! Ahhhhh!" Xander yelled as the snake, probably as startled as Xander, flailed about on Xander's shoulders and tried to bite him a few times before Xander was able to grab a good hold on the snake and throw it; sending the water moccasin skipping across to surface of the fetid water until it sank beneath the dirty pool of water in a splash.

"That was a water moccasin, very dangerous, very deadly. What a beauty she was!" The machine described.

Xander panted a few times, trying to catch his breath as his adrenaline rush came back under control. The snake hadn't been able to pierce the shield that had automatically formed, nor the nano-clothing, so he didn't have to worry about the bites. Still, there was something instinctual about not liking snakes falling out of a tree on top of you, especially poisonous ones. Snakes didn't rate up there with clowns or praying mantis ladies, but Xander still wasn't a big fan of them.

"Thanks for the warning, a little late weren't we?" Xander finally snapped after bringing his heart rate down under one hundred and eighty beats a minute.

"Crikey, first you don't want the descriptions, then you do mate. You made me, I only do what you tell me to do." The machine complained back before continuing, "Move forward one hundred feet and you will have arrived at where the Green user is."

"Bah, whatever." Xander groused before following the directions, floating around a couple of trees in his way and then floating above a calm pool of water that the machine said the Swamp Thing was in, but not in sight.

Xander glanced to the left, then to the right and then turned in a full circle. The machine told him that the Swamp Thing was right on top or below Xander, but he couldn't find the Swamp Thing anywhere.

Shrugging, Xander called out, "Swamp Thing, Alec Holland, I need to talk to you." Xander yelled.

No answer came.

Frustrated a bit, but in proverbial sight of his goal, Xander tried again. "Come on Alec, I need your help. I know you're here. My name is The Leviathan, and I need your help." Xander yelled, slowly floating so that he could yell out in a circle around him.

It was quiet, the only sound of reply to Xander's yell was the flap of birds wings as the animals in the trees around Xander took off into the sky at his disruption of the normal sounds of the swamp.

"Come on big guy, I know you are right here, I can track you and I just need to talk." Xander tried again.

Finally Xander received an answer, a deep voice that seemed to come from the trees all around him. "Go away. I am not interested in talking to you stranger." The voice replied and then was silent.

"Woah! Crikey, look at him go. The Green user is now two thousand meters to the north." The Green machine, Xander's directional device, told Xander.

Xander sighed in frustration and flew into the sky where he skimmed the tree tops at subsonic speeds before arriving where the Swamp Thing had moved to.

Floating down out of the trees, Xander tried again.

"Come on Alec, I really need your help, my people need your help. At least let me talk to you." Xander pleaded, looking at the trees and growth around him.

"Leave me alone." The voice came from behind Xander.

Xander whirled around towards the sound of the voice, only for vines and tree branches to snag him from behind and start to wrap around him, attempting to stop Xander from moving.

Even more frustrated than he was before, Xander used his strength to easily break away from the grasp of the branches and vines and fly up above the tree branches; branches that seemed to sway in some nonexistent breeze that drove them to reach out for Xander's legs.

"Now the Green user is five hundred feet to the west." The machine stated, and Xander quickly flew in that direction until he came to a pool of water that made up a grass filled channel next to a levy.

Seeing some bubbles coming up from the water, Xander floated down towards the bubbles and pleaded again. "Come on up buddy, I just want to help you and see if you can help out my people. Won't you please just come up and talk to me?" Xander pleaded again, his growing frustration and mounting sorrow at life coming through in Xander's voice.

The alligator that had been causing the bubbles under the surface of the water answered Xander's request to come up to talk, snapping out of the water and hooking onto Xander's leg with its jaws.

Xander had only a startled moment before he was tugged under the water by the weight of the thirteen foot long alligator. Xander disappeared under the water as if a trap door had been opened under his feet, and soon the water turned into a roiling mass of bubbles and flailing plant matter as the depths of the canal was churned up by the conflict between man and beast.

The battle went on for about ten seconds, but the outcome was never in question as even with the weight and strength of a full grown alligator it was no match for the power of Science!

Xander was the first one to breach the surface, a gasp was heard to issue from inside Xander's helmet as he shot out of the water like a bullet; the water dripping and cascading off of a clear shield that was visible about an inch from the surface of Xander's body before quickly disappearing and causing what mud and debris that had been on it to fall back into the water below.

Xander kind of shuttered in the air before pulling off his helmet and throwing it at the levy with enough force to bury the helmet a couple feet down in the muddy soil.

"GASSSSP!" Xander took in a big breath of air to try to fill his lungs again with that needed mix of nitrogen and oxygen that was so necessary for life on planet Earth. "Pant, Pant, mental, Pant, note. Get a supply of oxygen built into the helmet system as, Pant, the shield cuts off the flow of Oxygen, Pant." Xander wheezed as he floated over to sit on the levy and look down at his knees while catching his breath.

Wiping a hand over his head and his eyes, Xander pant became a muffled gasp, which turned into a sniffled inhalation of air. With that, Xander started to cry, the sorrow, pain and stress of this shitty situation had finally gotten to him.

"Do you know what it is like to have your family hate you or to have those who you love pulled from your grasp and be denied even the ability to hear their voice." Xander cried under his breath to the air quietly at first.

"Was my life not shitty enough to start with?" Xander questioned, tears pouring from his eyes as he looked to the sky. "What, you just figured you needed some fucking mortal to be your spittoon and said, hey, let's pick Xander, he obviously hasn't had enough pain in his life?" Xander yelled at the sky, while crawling to his knees in the mud of the levy; the spotless black pants of his suit and his dress shoes showing a dichotomy that summed up Xander's life, power and ability yet stuck dealing with shit.

"I hate this! I hate this being alone! I hate being the only one like me, not having family! Not having Friends, not having Equals, not having Anybody! Damn you! Damn you to hell whoever you are who brought me here! Damn you Mxyzptlk for keeping me here! I just want to go home, I just don't want to be alone anymore!" Xander railed at the sky, standing up and shaking his fist at some unseen watcher before collapsing back to sit in the mud and cry.

Xander's shoulders shook as his body released much of the pent up pain and sorrow that had been in him since he came to this new dimension. Perhaps it had been the 'call' with the Scoobies that had led to this moment. Perhaps it was another instance where Xander had tried to make a difference and help others only to be attacked. Whatever it was, Xander had reached the end of his proverbial rope and the tears were now clouding his vision till the point where everything in front of him was a blur of greens and browns.

A heavy hand carefully rested itself on his shoulder, startling Xander with the deep voice that accompanied it, "I understand your pain." The voice said with compassion as deep as the roots of the earth.

Xander startled and his crying turned into a gasp/hiccup where snot from his nose got caught in his throat for a second. Xander coughed and then sneezed while simultaneously trying to wipe the tears from his eyes before looking to his right.

There, looking like a conglomeration of weeds and grasses, with the occasional twig mixed in, was the swamp thing; a weird amalgamation of plant matter shaped into the rudimentary form of a bulky human but with caring distinct greenish brown eyes and very human hands. One of the hands gently patted Xander on the back, helping Xander to regain his breath.

Xander finally coughed and cleared his throat before wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve and then looking forward again, bringing his sniffles under control.

The Swamp Thing and Xander just sat there on the muddy levy and stared out over the water for several minutes before Xander finally sighed and broke the silence.

"Thanks; I guess you would understand how I'm feeling. My name's Xander." He stated, pulling his right arm from around his knees and putting it out for the Swamp Thing to shake.

The Swamp Thing removed his large left hand from Xander's shoulder while at the same time shaking Xander's hand with the right, "Alec Holland, though some people call me Swamp Thing, though you seemed to already know that." Alec said with his deep rumbly voice, a bit of an unasked question in the last part.

"Heh," Xander softly chuckled as he wiped the last of the remaining tears from his eyes, "Yeah, I know all about you. Where I come from you're a hero and they write books, television shows and movies about you." Xander explained, sliding his butt in the mud until he could kind of face the Swamp Thing better.

"Really?" Alec Holland asked, surprising coming through his voice.

"Yeah, really." Xander stated, and then went on to explain about his life in Sunnydale in a dimension far far away. Xander started off telling Alec about the television show and movie that he had seen as a child, but stories about comic books soon devolved into tales about his home life with his drunken parents, stories about Willow and Jesse, and even about the night life in Sunny-hell and his fight against the darkness that had changed venues when Xander was sent to this new dimension. What had started out as a brief discussion about what Xander knew about the hero and elemental master that was the Swamp Thing turned into Xander spilling his soul and life history to this stranger who listened and gave silent comfort as good as any 'giving tree' had ever done.

Xander and Alec Holland spent the next hour just talking back and forth about their lives, their loneliness, and their battles against the darker forces of this world and hell; as the Swamp Thing's primary enemy was a master of the occult who had frequently called upon demonic forces in their battles. Slowly but surely the two talked, and found two similar souls who simply wanted to help but seemed to get the short end of the stick no matter what they did. Finally, after almost three hours of chatting they ran out of stories to tell and sat there silently staring out at marshes as the day progressed.

"Crikey boss, look at the time. My batteries are going to need a charge, so I'm going to shut off now mate." The Green Machine interrupted the silence, and drew Xander's attention back to the original reason why he had come to the swamps.

"Oh, I almost forgot, Doh!" Xander prefaced with a smack to his forehead. "Alec, how would you like to have a home where you were accepted, a nearly fully human body, and the ability to help save the world and the lives of millions of people?" Xander questioned.

Swamp Thing turned from gazing out at the marsh and blinked at Xander, trying to take in what Xander had said. Finally he responded, "Excuse me, could you repeat that with a bit of an explanation?" Alec Holland questioned.

Xander smiled back and rubbed the back of his head with his hand, not realizing that he was smearing a bit of mud into his hair before explaining. "Well, it's like this. You're lonely, I'm lonely without any friends to really talk with, sure there is Adam, but he isn't much of a conversationalist," Xander rambled a bit before getting to the point. "The thing is, I kind of run Romania now and my people are going to starve due to some actions by evil politicians; not that I believe there is such a thing as good politicians that is." Xander sort of got to the point and continued his imitation of Willow babble. "See, um, damn. Ok. I know you want a human body and I can use science to help you get your plant form to be more human than it is, we may even be able to help you get to the point where you could have a real relationship with a human if we work together. I need your help getting the plants to help feed my people, and at the same time I can give you gardens, swamps, deserts, jungles and plains from which to use as your personal greenhouses to save all manner of plant and animal species. Together we can safeguard the lives of millions of humans while helping to clean up the Earth and save as many endangered species as possible." Xander finished, almost out of breath from his whirlwind explanation.

Xander smiled at Alec expectantly, hoping for an answer.

Alec Holland, aka the Swamp Thing, stared back at Xander trying to figure out first what the young man had said and then whether he trusted the teen.

Finally, a smile crept across the Swamp Things face and he put forth his hand, "You have a deal Xander, though I don't know why you would offer this to me as it sounds like your skills in sciences could probably solve many of your problems."

Xander shook Alec's hand and shrugged, "Eh, it's the right thing to do, and besides, I'd do anything to help a friend." Xander finished with a growing smile.

Alec's smile grew at Xander's statement, "Yes, friends. Now Xander, explain how you plan on making jungles in Romania during the month of December?"

"Why, with Science!" Xander yelled with a smile, jumping to his feet and into a heroic pose. Smiling down at the still seated Swamp Thing Xander put his hand down to help Alec to his feet before going on to explain. "Well, it's like this, I kind of forgot to stop my clanks from hollowing out all of the mountains in the country, so with a little bit of artificial sunlight…" Xander explained while ducking down to dig his hand into the levy pull out his buried helmet before waving the Swamp Thing to follow him into a portal that snapped open.

Xander's explanation continued, "First I take a bit of reactor fusion material at just the right density and then give it a good gravitonic swirl…" Xander's explanation was cut off as both Xander and Alec Holland disappeared into the green colored portal that had opened. With its closing, the swamp was returned to the sounds of nature. The only proof that Xander had been there was the muddy spot on the levy, and the floating body of the alligator that had tried to bite off more than it could chew.

* * *

It was a thing of beauty, rich lush wild gardens that hadn't been seen on earth since the fall of Babylon and its hanging gardens or perhaps even the fabled closing of the Garden of Eden. Birds and monkeys filtered through the trees and flashes of color of the trees and wild exotic flowers mixed with the different colors of birds made it a paradise to be hold. The hot sun beat down on the tropical foliage, but at ground floor it was dark and moist with the sounds of insects buzzing and the occasional whoop of a monkey echoing from the trees. It was a perfect ecosystem that would have made the creators of the 'Bio-Dome' green with envy, and it was housed completely within a mountain deep underground in the snowy Romanian countryside. Even the ten foot diameter miniature sun that Xander had completed was housed under the surface of the Earth and through the use of computer systems that controlled the wind, moisture systems and air flow, Xander was also able to use his new shield technology to keep his 'sun' contained in a vacuum that could be darkened to nighttime conditions on a regular basis. Tint the shield so less light and heat energy got out, and you had a Dyson's Sphere that could have powered every building in earth indefinitely, lessen the tint and the shields ability to contain the heat and you had weather control that mirrored any environment you wanted while still giving off more power than Romania or Xander could really plan on using. Similar miniature suns were used in other hallowed out chambers for deserts, plains, rainforests, swamps and for raising crops of every kind; all of it easily maintained without any chemicals by brief interactions with the now very human looking Swamp Thing. Sure Alec Holland's hair and complexion were still green, but due to the heavy usage of controlled nano-clanks, gone was the shambling mass of plant matter that resembled a ball of muck on legs and now was a being whom looked more human than thing.

Xander and Alec Holland were developing a good friendship, able to lose some of their loneliness by talking about the biology sciences that originally caused Alec his problems and enjoying the joy of finding a like minded person who understood what it was like to be a good guy who fate just seemed to screw over. In the month after returning from the Louisiana swamp both Alec and Xander had formed a friendship with inside jokes, often about biology or science subjects, and enjoyed working together to get the plant life and animal life situated and growing as quickly as possible. Through the use of the former Swamp Thing's powers and Xander's teleportation technology and other skills, the two of them were able to have the ecological systems fully up and running in less than a month.

The two of them were having fun just having a friend for once, and even though Xander still hadn't heard back from the Scoobies in the promised time of one week, the loneliness and sorrow that had been plaguing him was partially gone. Xander's goofiness was allowed to come out again, and Xander actually found himself in a prank war with Alec at one time. Alec filled Xander's bedroom with a thick carpet of tall itchy grass, and in turn Xander now referred to Alec as the 'Jolly Green Giant' rather than Swamp Thing after tampering with the nano-clanks creating Alec's form, suddenly turning the former Swamp Thing into a 20 foot tall giant green guy in a toga; an ability that Xander eventually told Alec how to turn on and off at will.

Christmas had come and gone and Xander had exchanged gifts with his minions, the people of Romania, Igor, the castle and the Chateau, Tara and Dora, Alec Holland, and even Black Adam. Xander sent Black Adam a bunch of magic books and artifacts that had been found in Dracula's castle and Arcane Manor, and to Alec Holland he gifted the former Arcane Manor and a Chia-pet. Black Adam in return, not a follower of the Christian holiday of Christmas but a friend/ally of the Leviathan's, gifted The Leviathan with a treasure chest of jewels. Alec's gift to Xander was a bit more helpful in that between the two of them they were able to create plant spores that worked with Xander's nano-clanks, allowing Xander to scrub carbon-dioxide out of Xander's body and basically create a secondary air supply for when Xander wanted to use his shield system; suffocating was not of the good, so this was a great Christmas present for Xander.

Bob the Castle and the Chateau enjoyed their new power sources of miniature suns surrounded by Dyson's spheres, and in return they gave Xander two day's off from exercises; meaning he was only chased around the skies of Romania three or four times by flaming Gargoyles and attack drones rather than the usual six days during the week after Christmas and before New Year's Eve.

When Alec had questioned why the two architectural family members attacked Xander at all, they had simply replied, "We attack because we love him." This question had puzzled the former Swamp Thing, but the understanding nods of Igor, Tara and Dora and caused Alec to just smile and nod at the normal craziness that he was coming to expect from being around Xander.

On the world wide front, the situation seemed to be going in Xander's direction though the world governments had no clue about the alliance between Romania and Kahndaq or what was really going on inside the country. Sparkbucks continued to take over the world coffee market and add more devoted followers/customers to its brand loyalty. World governments didn't understand how Romania was still thriving so well, especially since all of their analysts' projections had stated that Romania would have run out of food and specific manufactured goods right before Christmas, and the news coming out of Romania suggested that there was a plethora of all types of food and fresh produce coming out of the country instead; where Romania was getting tropical sugarcane and or desert raised figs was anybody's guess. The oil flow into the country was nonexistent, and since the rest of the world relied on petroleum products for industrial growth and transportation the world leaders were flabbergasted to see pictures of cars, busses, and trucks moving about the streets of Bucharest in record numbers. What added further discombobulation to the politicians situations and analysis of Romania was that all of the vehicles gave off no sign of exhaust. In fac,t the images clearly showed that there was absolutely no exhaust or smog at all in Romania if the images taken from the spy planes that skirted the boarders of the country were giving an accurate portrayal of the situation.

Things were going Xander's way, in fact the situation outside of Romania was the reverse of what the world leaders had originally planned as rather than Romania begging for the embargo to end, the citizens of the world were picketing and demanding that the embargo end so that they could access the cures and wonders of Romania. The crowds outside Romanian embassies throughout the world were filled with the poor, the sick and the dying, all begging to be allowed in. When they were repeatedly denied and told that they would be more than welcome if it wasn't for the embargo placed on the country of Romania, those same crowds of angry voters and citizens turned on their leaders. So far the leaders hadn't been willing to lose face by dropping the embargo, but the pressure was mounting and already rival political parties in every country in the world were pointing fingers at the incumbent representatives as the reason for the peoples' continued suffering.

All in all, everything was going great for Xander.

* * *

Meanwhile, in an office high above the streets of Metropolis, in a building freshly fumigated and newly refurbished after being cleaned of the smell of rotten eggs from floor to ceiling, stood a bald man in an expensive suit gazing out the window. To his left a video screen showed the slightly bearded and bedraggled face of a man of eastern European descent.

"So, you promise that if we do this service for you, your company will supply us with the arms that we need to push the southern bastards off of our lands?" The man on the screen said in a heavily accented English.

The bald figure in the tailored five thousand dollar suit turned to the screen and grinned, the smile not meeting his eyes. "Yes, that is right Mr. Nardoc, you do this one favor for me, which should be easy given the weaponry I give you, and you keep the weaponry free of charge. Top of the line Lexcorp laser cannons, heavy artillery, and the latest version of our fully automatic energy repeating rifle for you and your men, and all you have to do is help me get my small team through the boarder of Romania." Do we have a deal?" Lex Luthor questioned, the hunger for the Romanian technology clearly shining through his eyes.

The visage of Nardoc looked down, as if deep in thought, before looking back at the owner of Lex Corp. "And you promise that there will be no repercussions to the people of northern Kaznia?"

Lex's smile grew larger, "Nardoc, trust me. Romania is a paper tiger, they won't come out of their country, and they won't do anything to you for merely knocking down a few of their electric towers that guard their borders. Trust me on this my friend, you will soon have the fire power to fully free your people, once and for all." Lex complete with a look that suggested butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

Nardoc grudgingly agreed, and they started to hash out the details.

* * *

Elsewhere on a private uncharted island in the Pacific Ocean a hale and healthy man of indeterminate age sat at a desk in an office that overlooked the island and the pale blue waters that surrounded the coral reefs around the island. However the man's focus was fully directed towards the reports before him, ignoring the stately room around him that was dotted with antiques from throughout the history of humanity. The man knew each piece intimately as he had created several of them or picked them up on his travels throughout the world, travels that spanned hundreds of years. A brief knock on the door was ignored as the man continued to review the reports on Romania and the technology that was in that country; technology that could possibly effect his plans of cleansing the world of the mass of humanity and turning the Earth back into its pristine nature.

One of the dark suited guards that dotted the room opened the door, and the dark perfection that was Talia al Ghul sashayed into the room on her designer heels and in a form fitting skirt suit. She stopped several feet in front of the desk, and stood silently as she waited to be recognized by her father. Several minutes passed, and finally Ra's al Ghul, leader, environmentalist, sociopath and father of Talia closed his report before silently gesturing for his daughter to sit at one of the chairs opposite him at his desk.

"Thank you father. How are you doing today?" Talia asked liltingly, a slight bow of her head to the master of her life and the man whom she respected above all others, even her beloved Bruce Wayne.

"Ahh Talia, it is good to see you again my daughter. Mixed news coming out of Romania, an interesting news that is mixed with an increase in industrialization yet at the same time less pollution than has ever been known since before the Mongol hordes threatened its borders. I still haven't decided what to do with that country. The Leviathan may be a kindred spirit in our goals to clean up the world, but he seeks to do so by breeding more people and keeping his population alive, while my vision guides us that humanity has spread like a disease and cannot be trusted to heal this world. He is a power that we will have to look at, as all of our criminal agents from the Society of Shadows have been flushed from the country or executed; the country was due for a cleansing what with the dictator there, but our plans will need to be changed." Ra's stated, at first answering his daughter but finishing up as he got lost in his thoughts and gazed out the window at the beauty of the paradise like tropical island and the sea around it; a weird dichotomy considering the man was casually discussing and contemplating the path to mass genocide of the human species.

"Yes father." Talia dutifully answered but then remained silent as her father continued to focus out the window, deep in thought.

After several moments of silence, where barely even the breathing of the guards could be heard due to the plush carpet and tapestries that filled the room, Ra's al Ghul finally turned back to his daughter and looked upon her.

"I sense you did not come here to discuss our continued quest, how was your trip to the United States? Is there something you wish to tell me?" Ra's questioned while sitting back in his chair; a guard walking forward and bringing Ra's and his daughter a tea service with two already prepared cups of tea ready. The two members of the al Ghul family paused to claim a cup before Talia answered.

"My trip was enjoyable father," The Brunette beauty stated before continuing, "There wasn't much of interest, and the delivery of documents you requested I bring to your agents in Gotham went well. My Beloved did not know that I was in town. It was something that happened when I visited the city of Las Vegas that would have me bring information to you." Talia completed, pausing to take a sip of her tea.

"A yes, Ubu informed me of your interest in a young man that was there. Was there something more than his good looks that attracted your attention my daughter?" Ra's stated with a hint of rebuke in his question.

Talia briefly bowed her head in supplication before answering, "I am but your obedient daughter father, the reason Mr. Alexander Harris drew my attention was threefold: First, Alexander knew your name and knew of me the moment I gave my name; the look on his face was not one who recognizes a notable head of charity foundations around the world or of a myth from the history of man, but of your true quest. Second, due to an altercation in the casino, I along with the rest of the casino learned that Mr. Harris has been of some intimate relations with one Zatanna Zatarra, magic user of the Justice League. Third, we were attacked by several terrorists of the Kobra organization, and Alexander Harris showed both the ability to ignore magical attacks as well as exhibited several meta-human abilities such as flight, super strength and a speed comparable to several of the main members of the Justice League. I believed the new appearance of a powerful being who knows who you are would be of interest. I've taken the liberty of retrieving a copy of the casino's surveillance videos for your review father." Talia finished with a nod to one of the guards near the door.

At Talia's nod, Ubu pushed his way through the doors into the room and proceeded towards a large screened TV that sat across the room opposite Ra's al Ghul's desk. Ra's patiently watched as the screen flashed to images of Xander talking to Talia at the high roller's table, to Xander leaving the high rollers area and being confronted by Zatanna, to the fight with Kobra. Different camera angles cut into the film and showed in split screen the full details of what happened behind the bar during the battle as well how easily the young Alexander Harris dispatched the attackers and shrugged off the magical attack by Zatanna. What was most disconcerting was the fact that somewhere between reentering the curtains of the high roller area and actually entering the high roller area, Mr. Harris disappeared.

Ra's sat back in his seat and thought quietly after the video ended. Finally, Ra's reached across his desk and used a small mallet to strike a tiny five inch gong that hung on a stand on his desk.

The 'gong' sound reverberated through the room, and a moment later several dark robed figures literally dropped out of the ceiling and landed in a crouch where they bowed before Ra's.

Ra's turned to address the ninja's that were part of his Society of Shadows, "Return to Las Vegas and gather as much information as you can on this Alexander Harris. Spend as much time as it takes, but I want to know who this person is, even if you have to travel to the opposite side of the world in your quest. Also, send out a request to our agents throughout the world to gather information on this man, he may yet be an asset to our quest." Ra's al Ghul commanded. The ninja's in turn left as quietly and as quickly as they came.

Turning to his daughter, Ra's waved her in dismissal, "Good work my daughter. You may leave. I must meditate on the information you have brought me." Ra's stated, to which Talia and Ubu left Ra's as quietly as the ninjas had.

Left in his room, Ra's al Ghul continued to watch a repeat of the action at the Casino.

"Who are you Alexander Harris, and what secrets do you hold that I can use?" Ra's stated to himself before again staring out the window at the waves that rolled against the shores of his island.

* * *

In the backwood forests of Romania, deep in the snowy wilderness and far from any human being, in a place where only squirrels hibernated, there was a shimmering of light and suddenly a man appeared. This man was very distinct even though he was incognito; with a plain flesh colored face without a nose or mouth or eyes showing, the man who wore a tailored purple suit.

"Brrrr, much colder than the Watch Tower, that's for sure." The Question stated with a shiver before activating a device on his person. A sudden yellow gas cloud appeared around the man, and when it cleared a man with a normal plain face appeared wearing normal Romanian farmer's winter gear with boots and even snow shoes.

"I need to remember to thank the Bat for some of this gear. This will make things a lot easier, especially since he gave me Velcro ties for the boots; none of that aglet evil to deal with." The Question continued talking to himself, this time the shiver had nothing to do with the cold and more about his quest to combat the evil that was aglets and the shoe industry's insidious plans for world domination.

"At least Romania doesn't seem to be suffering from global warming," The Question continued to talk to himself as he made his way out of the snowy woods that he had appeared in and out onto some farmland. In the distance he could see the Transylvanian mountains where perhaps the answers to some of his questions regarding The Leviathan could be found.

"It must be the lack of Romanian Boy bands, yes, another snippet of fact to go with my theory that Boy Bands are the leading cause of global warming." The Question finished. With that, he set off across the fields towards his target.

* * *

**AN: Ok, took me a while but I had a lot of stuff to get out here, and didn't quite know how I was going to get it all working together. This chapter lays a lot of ground work, answers some questions, builds and adds some characters, and adds to the madness. Hope you enjoyed it. Cheers!**


	22. Chapter 22: It's Not Paranoia If

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: I'm a bit behind schedule on the postings that I wanted to make, but I didn't expect my Beta to disappear. No harm no foul. When we finally reconnected I told her that real life and school come first, and I meant/mean it. Hopefully we can get back to a regular weekly posting schedule when she gets done with midterms. With that said, thanks for the reviews and thoughts, though I notice that thousands of people read the story yet so few actually review. I really do write more and faster when I get reviews. So if you want more chapters, and you want them faster, you know what to do.**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

**Chapter 22: It's Not Paranoia If They Really Are Out To Get You**

"I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In Morse code."  
-Emo Phillips

The city of Sighişoara Transylvania had been a relatively small city before Xander forced Dracula's castle to once again appear on the mountains above the town. With a population of only around thirty thousand, Sighişoara was known for being one of the last remaining inhabited medieval fortress cities in Eastern Europe; with a good chunk of the population living inside the old medieval fortifications. With the reappearance of the gothic castle and the triumph of the Leviathan, the city had grown in leaps and bounds.

Castle Bob sat on the heights, dug into the peak of the mountain and seeming to precariously jut out into the air. Half of the black castle was housed on solid ground and the other half stuck out off of the edge of the mountain and was unsupported by anything but the air beneath it. Whereas Castle Dracula had been a dark eerie gothic monstrosity of stone, wood, and iron, Castle Bob kept that dark gothic look yet was an amalgamation of both modern technology and gothic architecture. Gone were the pointy towers of rough jagged cut stone, gone was the drawbridge of wood and iron binding, here to stay was a gleaming dark metal solid megalithic construct with only remnant of the previous ancient castle being a square medieval tower like projection that ran the length of the center of the building. Though the pointy towers were gone the building hadn't lost any of its gothic and dark feeling to it as the metal of the building seemed to absorb the light. The sides of the mechanical fortress were lined with rows upon rows of seemingly carved or molded tall metal statuary; gargoyle like figures in the shapes of clanks, monsters, and there were even statutes of armored Jäger in their Mark VIII or Dark Trooper armor along with the different types of Mechs that made up military of the Leviathan. The statutes stood stacked row upon row, seeming to differentiate the many different floors that made up castle; a castle that span a mile in length and at least two thousand feet in height. The main body of the castle was a solid rectangular block in shape, but the seeming carved statutes on its outer walls seemed to add angles that caught the shadows and made visitors to the castle feel like they were being watched by hundreds of thousands of eyes as they approached the fortress; there was no courtyard, the castle was one solid building. On the top of the castle there stood a structure that looked like a watch tower a central keep or perhaps even the conning tower of an aircraft carrier. Like an upraised portion of smooth black metal, the surface of the central portion of the castle was mirror polished, and it made it impossible to tell if the structure was made out of one piece of metal or even if it was one giant obsidian glass window or block. The castle cast both a literal and figurative shadow over the town of Sighişoara that rested in the valley below the fortress.

One would think that the shadow of the castle would put a damper on the spirits of the people in the town below or that nobody would want to live near the home of the dictatorial Leviathan. However, as The Question was finding, the opposite was in fact the reality.

At first dressed in a business suit and tie, the Justice League's number one conspiracy theorist, resident crackpot, and Master of Disguise 'The Question' attempted to blend in with the population of Sighişoara. The city had seen a population boom. What had once been a sleepy medieval looking town, living in the past, was now a thriving sprawling metropolis with suburbs, a new large university, and all of the businesses that follow large flocks of people. Fortunately for Charles "Charlie" Victor Szasz, aka Vic Sage, aka The Question, his entrance to the city was assisted by the fact that so many new people were flooding into Sighişoara. This isn't to say that The Question was able to seamlessly blend in with the Romanian peoples, far from it actually, as even to the nut job that was The Question, the people of Romania were just plain weird.

The weirdness started when The Question, dressed in his suit, first wandered into a little café and out of the cold snowy weather that was present on that morning; February 3rd, 1999. Finding a corner table out of the way, Vic picked up the newspaper that happened to be lying abandoned on a nearby table, and then began to pretend to read. That's when he started to notice the weirdness.

The Question was able to clearly listen to the arguing duo at the table nearby.

"I'm telling you, the Dionysian model of life doesn't work! Sure the Leviathan has practically created a nouveau riche Utopian society where we can each do what we want and create what we want, but that doesn't mean that it is merely for the purposes of pleasure." The first debater stated in between bites of a pastry with a cherry jam filling.

"And I'm telling you that the Apollonian model of collectivism doesn't mean that we have to mindlessly create within an ordered methodology. It's my belief that the Leviathan would want us to be happy, we are children after all." The second debater stated, sipping her hot chocolate and kicking her legs back and forth under the chair; as the little girl in ponytail's legs didn't even touch the ground. The little boy across from her, the first person in the debate, merely stuck his tongue out at the young girl in rebuttal before going back to eat his pastry.

It was then that The Question realized that even though he was a Master of Disguise, with a capital 'M', it didn't mean he could perfectly blend in with this town. All around him, young children, teens, and adults were having scientific or academic debates or discussions that were just plain weird if not a bit scary.

Over in the opposite corner of the café were two teenage boys just being boys; meaning they were talking about cars, video games, and blowing things up. Only the discussion held by the two fourteen year old boys included such words as "anti-gravity hyper drive engine," "inertial negation," "mind to machine command module" and "possibility of going supernova if we used too much anti-matter."

A trio of teenage girls who cast sly looks at the two boys were talking about girly things, make-up, looks and shopping. The problem was that the conversation went something like this, "Have you seen the latest gene-transfusion cream that just came out from Queen C beauty products? It totally deactivates the gene that leads to an increase in acne vulgaris, and it even gives your hair a shine." One of the girls stated in English. The second responded in Romanian, but switched to French and then into English as she replied, "Absolutely. I'm also trying to get my boyfriend Jacob to start using that Oz Strength hair removal product. I just love to see his shiny muscular chest; none of that hairy werewolf look for me, no way." The second responded, at which point all three girls giggled.

The Question quickly tuned out the rest of the girls' conversation, for he realized that continued listening to the girls regarding teenage heart throbs would lead to possible insanity. Listening to girly conversations regarding team Jacob or some Edward guy would no doubt lead to madness, and The Question knew that he had to keep all of his brain cells intact if he was ever to truly prove that the ice cream industry was actually behind the assassination of President Kennedy and the true power behind the cancelation of the show 'Gilligan's Island.'

Listening to the different discussions throughout the café, the Question was stunned to hear the variety of subjects being discussed as well as the vast array of different languages being used in said discussions. So far he had heard conversations in English, Romanian, French, German, Russian, Latin, Klingon, Morse Code, and even one table who sounded like they were having a discussion in Ancient Egyptian and Sumerian.

Getting up and leaving the paper behind, The Question walked into the men's bathroom, and then exited two minutes later looking for all the world like a young college student with a backpack on his back and a textbook under his arm. Thus changed, Vic Sage left the café and wandered down the street.

Apparently the city of Sighişoara had woken up in the time that The Question had spent inside the Cafe, as upon entering the street The Question had to quickly dodge one robot that was pushing a baby stroller, one boy on a hovering skateboard, and out of the way of a pack of fearsome looking monsters. The group of monsters were all smiling as they chatted, sharp toothed smiles while wearing black military uniforms with their multicolored fur showing through here and there. The monsters were casually chatting back and forth as they walked down the street together as a pack.

"I'mz telzing you'z dats da only vey to make zey pie is wit da pepper, lots und lots of pepper." The first uniformed monster said to one of the others. Half of the group nodded along in agreement while the other half shook their heads in disagreement.

"Nopez, I'z don't like itz with da extra pepper. I likez da extra bludz inz my pie, maybez ezen a goodts blud sausage in da pie." One of the naysayer monsters replied while starting to salivate at the thought of pie.

The one who had originally said that he liked pepper in his pie stopped abruptly and swung to address the second. The Question watched as the monsters walking along behind all tumbled into each other at the sudden stop, before pushing away from each other and watching what was happening.

"I sayz pepper is bezt!" The first one said a bit angrily.

"Nopez, itz defeenitely da bludz, yummy blud." The second one stated while smacking his lips at the thought of extra blood or blood sausage in his pie.

The first one didn't even take the time to continue the debate; rather he jumped on the second one with a roar, hands around the second one's throat as they fell to the street in a flurry of blows. The remaining monsters all smiled, looked at each other, and then dived into the melee as easily as if they were diving into a swimming pool.

The Question was startled, looking to the left, and then the right, seeing if anybody was going to stop the fight, only to see the regular human citizens smile and shake their heads while mumbling things about "Jägers" while they stepped around the fight as if it was perfectly normal. Nobody cared that the fur was literally flying in the street, as one little girl who was skipping down the street played hop-scotch with the arms and legs of the thrashing pile of Jägermonsters before continuing in a straight line down the street.

"Hi grandpa Zenu!" A little boy of about four said as he walked by the struggling pile of biting, kicking, and eye gouging Jägers. To The Question's surprise, the pile of fighting monsters literally stopped fighting as if on cue; one of the monsters, whose fur was a light shade of blue and who currently had a pair of hands wrapped around his neck, responded.

Taking the leg out of his mouth which he had been biting, the Jäger replied, "Helloz der Zenu Junior, howz iz my grandson doingz tadvey?" The Jäger questioned, smiling with a big fanged smile at the little boy.

"I'm well grandpa. Have fun playing with your friends; mommy is taking me to the new zoo." The little boy said with a wave goodbye before attempting to drag his mother down the street by the hand.

"Bye Zenu, goodbyz Daughter." The Jäger stated, removing his hand from where it was giving another Jäger monster a wedgie and waving at his daughter who the little boy was attempting to drag away.

After watching the daughter wave back, the Jäger stated, "Nowz ver vas we?" With that, the Jäger looked at the leg that was before him, and took a large chomp on it with his sharp teeth.

A yowl of pain sounded from the pile of Jägers, and the fight was on again.

The Question slowly edged himself against the wall and tried to move himself down the street without drawing attention to himself. _'These people are crazy!'_ Vic thought to himself.

The Question spent the rest of the morning changing appearances in bathrooms of stores and surveying the town. He was amazed by what he saw. Robots everywhere, humans debating sciences and building death rays or weird contraptions, fruits and vegetables of literally every shape and size (including a watermelon as big as a car), and everywhere packs of monsters who would get into a fight at the drop of a hat.

'_Jeese, mental note for the file, don't mess with a Jägermonster's hat!'_ The Question thought to himself as he saw blood flying from a fight between two Jägers who had a disagreement about whose hat was better; one had a hat with a pair of red socks on it, other one with a large white N and Y stenciled on it.

The Question had attempted to get into one of the medical clinics to see what was going on inside, but after seeing that the door to the clinic was protected by armored guards who took a blood sample of every person entering and leaving, he didn't think it was worth getting caught over. The morning had passed, and the afternoon was quickly passing by. The Question figured it was time to head for the castle, and hopefully some more answers into the identity and purpose of The Leviathan.

* * *

Meanwhile in the castle, Xander was given a bit of a rude, yet still welcome, awakening.

"OhMyGodXander! ! OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod!" Was screamed at him, waking Xander up and causing him to jump out of bed and into a stance as if he was ready to fight.

Xander attempted to blink his eyes to try and figure out what was going on, when the voice added, "Good Lord Xander, please put some clothes on my boy, I don't want to see that." Clearly came Giles's voice.

Hearing Giles's voice caused Xander to look above the bed, and see a floating window with the head of Willow and Giles looking down at him as well as Tara and Dora who were naked in bed; Xander's two bedmates were holding a sheet up to their chests. While the girls were shielding their assets, Willow's face was so red that it was matching the color of her hair, and currently Giles was averting his eyes from Xander while rapidly polishing a pair of glasses.

Xander's brain finally caught up with what was going on, and in a flash, both literally and figuratively given that he was currently naked; Xander blurred across the room, put on a robe, and then zipped back to sit on the bed in between Tara and Dora.

"Um, good morning guys." Xander stated with his patented goofy grin.

"It's currently evening Xander, and what are you doing in bed with those two girls… on second thought I don't want to know." Giles started, only to realize what he was saying and then look away. A hand was seen to grab Giles's shoulder and pull him out of the picture. Jenny Calendar took Giles's place talking to Xander while Willow continued to be red in the face, mouth opening and closing like a fish as the redhead couldn't think of what to say.

"Good evening Xander." Jenny stated with a smile and a wink, giving Xander a bit of a blush at getting caught in bed by his teacher; well at least his former teacher.

"Hey there Ms. Calendar." Xander replied with a bit of an embarrassed wave, but then quirked his head as he spoke his thoughts, "Hmmm, so it's evening there, its morning here. Hey, how come you all didn't contact me when you promised me?" Xander questioned.

This question seemed to snap Willow out of her stupor, "We did contact you Xander, it's been a week since we last talked to you. And don't you think for a moment that I'm going to let you change the subject buster, see, determined face. What are you doing in bed with two naked girls?" Willow demanded while pointing her finger at Xander in a scolding manner.

Xander, having gained a bit of experience with girls and not the teenaged virgin that he had left Sunnydale as, smirked back at Willow. "Do you really want me to describe what I've been doing in bed with two naked girls?" He quipped back.

Willows reply was to "Eeep!" and turn red again, only to be pulled out of the picture and replaced by Buffy. "Xander, you better not be doing anything improper with those girls!" Buffy commanded with a bit of a growl.

Xander's smile slipped off his face for a second and he frowned at Buffy, "I don't see how it's any of your business what I do with girls Buffster, if I remember correctly, you turned down any rights to dictate my love life when you decided to only have eyes for the dead guy who is literally over ten times your age." Xander snapped back a bit.

Buffy was a bit speechless, since Xander had never really talked back to her before. Always before she had been the Slayer, and he had been the donut boy or sidekick. She was also stunned as she saw Xander seem to float off the bed while telling the two girls with him to go get dressed. The blonde and brunette in bed with Xander each gave him a kiss on the cheek before sliding out of bed together with the sheet wrapped around them; exiting the space that was visible via the spell.

Jenny Kalderish, aka Calendar, decided to interject to stop a potential spat and changed the subject, "Xander, what do you mean we didn't call you in a week? It's been exactly a week since we contacted you, it's even nighttime here yet you said it's morning there." Jenny ignored the fact that Xander seemed to be hovering several feet over the surface of the bed.

Xander stopped frowning as he floated back to the surface of the bed, and then he leaned back against the headboard while now sitting Indian style amongst the pillows at the head of the bed; his large white fluffy robe fully covered him.

Quirking his head to the side, Xander thought for a second before nodding to himself and then answering Jenny, "Well it appears that we have a bit of a time difference between the dimensions, and I'm not sure if it is even linear. It's been more than a couple of months here and its seven o'clock in the morning here in Romania." Xander explained, to which Jenny nodded her head in understanding, then hearing what he said about Romania, Jenny smiled and started to talk to him about her family living in Romania.

Xander and Jenny continued to talk about what was going on in the Sunnydale universe, and slowly but surely Buffy started adding in facts and discussing the latest big bad that they were facing as well as giving the Slayer report of Sunnydale night life. Willow came on while Buffy left, Buffy apologizing for her earlier comment and Xander doing the same to Buffy before she gave up her place. News was shared from both sides as the true caring that the Scoobies had for each other was thoroughly shown through the conversation. That's not to say that only the Scoobies shared information, Jenna Kalderish of clan Kalderish explained who she really was and why she was at the school to Xander before stating that she and Giles were dating, causing the Englishman to blush a shade that clashed a lot with his normal tweed clothing. Giles spoke with Xander at length regarding what was going on in the DC universe with Xander, and Xander explained a bit about how he was surviving and in some ways thriving. Giles tried not to wince when Xander explained that he was now ruling a country, especially when Xander teased the G-man a bit about having nightmares about a country of Twinkie fanatics who constantly poked fun at the land of tweed. In turn, both Giles and Buffy spoke to Xander about having powers and possible training regimens to use to bring his powers fully under Xander's control.

It was a good conversation, even if it had started off with a bit of the unexpected, and both sides of the people speaking through the spell found a great deal of peace in being able to reconnect. It ended with Willow and Xander sharing how much they missed each other, and both parties told the others to stay safe.

With that last well wish stated, the spell ended with promises to call Xander again as soon as they could. That left Xander sitting in his room in Castle Bob looking out through the window that was across the room from his bed.

Watching the sun rise over the hills and mountains of Romania, Xander thought to himself, _'That was a nice beginning to what looks to be a very good day._'

With that, Xander got out of bed to get dressed and get his day started, only to get interrupted by a message from Bob the Castle.

"Sorry to disturb you Xander, but it seems that we have a captured an unexpected Visitor." The voice of Bob issued out of the walls around Xander.

Xander quickly grabbed his black Leviathan helmet and a fresh nano-suit before darting out of the room.

* * *

Everything had been going relatively well for The Question. Having seen the image of one of the Leviathan's chief helpers on the televised news throughout Sighişoara, The Question assumed the image of said hunchbacked old man and proceeded through the town towards the castle. Many of the citizens of the city bowed to him or smiled at him, and The Question was remarkably lucky that stoic faced nodding in reply was similar enough to a common response from Igor. No, everything was going well for The Question, even as he walked up the twisting road that was lined by lamppost carrying statutes of gargoyles, everything even went well as he guessed the password to the small door that was to the right of the closed main gate and punched it in.

Yes, as the door opened and The Question entered, everything was going well. Right up until the door behind him closed, and a crazy voice started singing.

"One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong." the voice of Bob the Castle started to sing before cackling madly and stated, "Hmm, I guess somebody has never read the Evil Overlord's list, now have they?"

"Wait! There's really a list?" The Question was so startled by the statement that he actually broke character for a moment and stood up straight; the idea that all of his conspiracy theories on evil villains could be true was just too much for the man.

The castle cackled in reply, "Bwa ha ha ha ha! I pity the fool who tries to break into this castle! Wa ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Well that doesn't sound good." The Question stated, triggering a mechanism in his outfit, a cloud of smoke and gas shot out of his clothing, obscuring him from view. From within the smoke the rapid sound of explosions and drilling was heard, and then suddenly silence.

When the smoke cleared, the shattered remains of small power drills and the casings from explosive packages were seen to be scattered across the floor of the small airlock/mantrap. Unfortunately for The Question, he was left standing there in his Igor disguise, staring frustrated at the still sealed metal door which he had entered through.

'_Well bugger, Batman is not going to be happy about me breaking all of these gadgets that I borrowed from him.'_ Vic Sage thought to himself as he noted that the solid black metal door behind him was unscarred, and what he had assumed was glass didn't even have a chip or ding in it. _'Perhaps next time I'll actually ask Batman if I can borrow his gear, perhaps he won't be as angry if I try that…'_

The Question's introspection was interrupted by the Castle asking him a question.

"So, who are you? Spy for a country, thief out for riches, assassin, villain, or some do-gooder digging into the Leviathan's business? Hmmmm?" The voice questioned.

"Well, what's the difference?" The Question replied, looking up at the seamless ceiling and walls around him to see if he could figure out where the voice was coming from.

"Well, if you are a villain, spy, assassin, or thief, it doesn't really matter." The voice replied. The statement was prefaced by slots all along the metal walls and ceiling seeming to dissolve before suddenly showing a myriad of blasters, guns, flamethrowers, rockets and even a couple of mechanical hands carrying sticks of dynamite or wielding green stone encrusted brass knuckles . And since the Castle followed Xander's rule of "There's no such thing as overkill," spikes started to slide out of the walls and ceiling and started to grow closer to The Question.

"Hero! I'm a hero! Definitely not a villain… nope, no villains here." The Question quickly shouted, triggering his suit to change it back to his traditional outfit of the faceless man with the purple and green suit and trench coat.

The spikes stopped encroaching, the ominous hum of the lasers and blasters relaxed to a dull buzz, and the wisps of flames on the flamethrowers stopped.

"Oh, you're The Question. Well in that case." The voice stated.

Suddenly all of the spikes around The Question started to spark with electricity.

Charles Victor Szasz, aka The Question, only had time enough to say one thing before the electricity arced off of the walls and ceiling around him and blasted him.

"Oh Shit." The Question said, and then all he knew was darkness.

* * *

"So Mr. Bond, we meet again." A voice with an artificial German accent said, causing The Question to groggily wake up.

"Huh? What?" The Question mumbled as he slowly woke up, the room around him blurry as he tried to bring his senses back under control.

This time an American accented voice stated, "No no, you've got it all wrong, you're supposed to ask if I expect you to talk. At which point I get to say, 'No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!" The voice finished in what amounted to a horrible attempt at a German accent.

That seemed to wake Vic up fully, trying to sit up quickly, he struggled and realized that he was strapped down to a metal table quite well. Looking to the left, and then to the right by moving his eyes around the room, The Question was stunned to realize that he was missing his mask and that he couldn't move his head.

Vic struggled against his bonds for a few seconds more, before realizing that it was hopeless. With a sigh he asked, "So you're going to kill me?"

The answer surprised him.

"Ha! No way, I've just always wanted to say that." The American accented voice stated in English. A clunk sound was heard, and then a buzzing as the table that The Question was on tilted with the table behind him until it was as if he was standing up on a slight incline; only he was strapped down with metal restraints that totally covered his torso and strapped his head, legs, and arms to the table behind him.

There, standing in front of Vic was The Leviathan in his patented featureless black helmet, black suit, and blood red tie; the only other real flash of color was the pin on the lapel of the suit that was fashioned in the gold three headed dragon motif. Behind the Leviathan was a large computer consol that had wires and tubes of chemicals connected to it. The connecting wires and tubes flowed into a vat where a head sat floating in a jar. Wires were connected into the floating head and then out of the jar to disappear towards the ceiling which was out of Vic's view.

The Leviathan's next statement fully focused Vic's attention back on the mysterious figure, "Well Charlie, I have to say good job on getting as far as you got. You're the first person to breach my country's defenses, and I'll have to figure out how you did it and protect against it now. But first, I'd like to learn a little bit more about Charles Victor Szasz, the man, the mythbuster, The Question." The Leviathan stated as he turned his back to the table where Vic was secured. The Leviathan started fiddling with the computer and suddenly sparks started to shoot up a Jacob's ladder on the top of the computer while bubbles started to flow through the tubes between the computer and the floating head.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The Question stated.

"Sure you do Vic, I know your name, I know your history, I even know about your battle against the shoe industry and their use of aglets. I just need to get a few answers to some questions that I have." The Leviathan turned before walking towards the once again struggling Question.

"You'll never make me talk! No amount of torture will make me tell you the truth." Victor growled, and was surprised when The Leviathan halted moving towards him.

The Leviathan quirked his head in thought and answered back, "Vic, why the hell would I want to torture you? I'm not the bad guy. You're the one who broke into my home, by all rights the law is on my side… well, I don't think the law says anything about me running science experiments on you, but I can write one of those up later." The Leviathan finished, before reaching up over Vic's head and pulling down something that looked like a kitchen sieve. Said kitchen sieve had a tinfoil coating on it, and attached to nodes of tinfoil were wires and tubes that disappeared into the ceiling. "Besides, by entering the castle you've agreed to volunteer your body to science and any experiments that I might choose to do on you; it says so right on the welcome mat. Great way to keep down the unwanted solicitations." The Leviathan finished as he moved towards the question again.

"Now hold still, this won't hurt at all." The Leviathan stated patiently as he rested the sieve on The Question's head and attached a chin strap that held it in place; as if Vic could do anything but hold still considering he was bolted down to the table.

After the sieve was in place, The Leviathan walk over to the computer and twisted a few knobs as static started to broadcast out of the speakers around the room.

Turning back towards the restrained Question, The Leviathan pulled out a TV remote control and pressed a few buttons. The Question found his table rotated slowly so that he could see not only The Leviathan and the computer, but also a monitor screen on the side wall. What was most impressive though was the images of Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, and other heroes that flashed on the screen. Even more impressive when The Question realized that his thoughts about whether the Justice League would save him were being shown on the screen before him as if in a movie.

"So then, I'm going to ask you questions, and your brain is going to tell me the answers. Now please be as honest as possible as this is for scientific posterity." The Leviathan stated, a smile coming through in his voice.

"First a couple of questions I already know the answer to make sure the machine is working," The Leviathan started. "Bruce Wayne." The Leviathan stated, and on the screen the millionaire's image flashed up there, followed by pictures taken from news clippings and other storied pictures that The Question must have looked at when researching Bruce Wayne.

The Leviathan continued with that tangent and asked, "Bruce Wayne is Batman, correct?"

The Question tried to bite his tongue, refusing to answer, but he couldn't control his brain to stop it from answering what he knew as his thoughts briefly flashed to his research on the identity of Batman. On the screen the image of Bruce changed to where he was wearing the Batman suit but had his cowl off. There was then an image of Bruce putting the cowl on. Several images of research and files that The Question had compiled regarding Batman flickered across the screen, including the fact that Vic had found evidence pointing to the fact that when Batman was younger Bruce had almost gotten caught peaking in college sororities while practicing his stealth skills.

Xander inside his Leviathan outfit burst out laughing, much to The Question's chagrin.

"Ha! Hey, no worries, I always knew he couldn't be as anal as he acts, he had to have some fun in his life." The Leviathan stated before going on to ask other questions.

"How did you get into Romania unseen?" This was answered by images of The Question using the Justice Leagues' teleporter system to enter Romania and was followed by questions regarding what Vic had seen while in Romania as well as how the teleporter system was used at the Watchtower station.

After Xander was sure that he had milked all of the security info that he needed out of Vic, he started to have some fun.

"Ok, so just so you know, I'm going to let you go after all this, but I wanted to talk to you about some conspiracies and see if you know the answers. So who killed Kennedy?" The Leviathan questioned.

Images of the owner of Ben and Jerry's ice cream meeting in a dark conference room flashed up on the screen, though memories of the discussion were too garbled to really hear.

"Damn, I never would have guessed that it was the Ice Cream industry that was behind the second gunner on the grassy knoll." The Leviathan exclaimed, the shock coming through his voice before he stroked where his chin would have been on his mask. "Hmmm, now that you mention it though, that may explain why Ben and Jerry's ice cream is so addictive, perhaps they took out the President because he was going to have the FBI look into their secret ingredients." Xander postulated.

"Where is Jimmy Hoffa buried?" Was the follow up question, to which pictures of Jimmy and Elvis flying away in a flying saucer with little green aliens flashed up on the screen.

"Wow, you're a little crazy, you know that right?" The Leviathan replied after watching the images taken from The Questions mind.

"This coming from the guy doing the good mad scientist impression with a floating head?" The Question responded with a bit of humor coming through his voice.

"Eh, pot, meet kettle, kettle meet pot I guess." The Leviathan stated with a shrug.

"Ok, final question. Have you ever seen any of the Justice League heroines naked?" The Leviathan asked.

Suddenly the screen was full of images from the ladies locker room at the Watchtower space station as well as views through the windows of several apartments and homes through the world. Pictures of Wonder Woman coming out of the steam room, pictures of Hawkgirl with even less on than what she wore in the video that Xander had taken of her while fighting his robot Hitme filled the screen. The screen was filled images of almost every heroine that Xander could think of, from the teenaged version of clay girl Anna, all the way to the magician Zatanna.

"Damn man! Peep much?" Xander questioned form within his mask, shocked and flabbergasted.

Inside Xander's brain a little voice was going crazy, _'Dude! Dude! Harem Harem Harem! Oh, look at Wonder Woman, I bet Amazons are flexible. Oh Oh, and there's the Black Canary, wow, she really is a true blonde! Wow, Huntress is hot! Happy Dance.'_ The sounds of the little pervert in the back of Xander's mind tap dancing the Scooby dance were rattling around in Xander's brain as he turned and looked at The Question.

Smirking under his helmet, Xander spoke to The Question. "You know, I was a bit concerned about how to keep what you have found out about me from spilling to the Justice League, as I didn't want to hurt you. But, you know what, I think I can get you to agree to keep this a secret between us, and I know you can keep a secret, especially if your life is on the line. Just so you know, I'm recording this entire session, and if I find out you spilled any information about me I'll make sure to send this recording to each one of these female Justice League members. I'm sure you can imagine the type of pain you would be in for if they found out you had peeped on them when they were naked." Xander finished.

On the screen behind Xander the images changed to that of The Flash in the medical suites of the Watchtower, the Martian Manhunter was passed out on one of the medical tables. The image replayed The Flash turning to respond to Wonder Woman, only to put his hands out and squeeze the Amazon's breasts, "Mmmm, firm yet pleasantly squishy." Wally stated in the memory. The image then showed The Flash being punched in the face so hard that he flew right through the bulkhead, the memory continued to relay the sounds of several other metal walls breaking and screeching of metal as Wally continued to fly through several walls.

Xander was gobbsmacked at what he had seen; obviously The Flash was a bit nuts too. Fortunately for Xander, the black facemask covered over his reaction, so his staring wasn't noticed.

"Ahem, I think I rest my case." The Leviathan stated after the image of The Flash getting a beating stopped. "Do we have a deal?" The Leviathan asked The Question.

Victor Sage bit his lip, his thoughts about wanting to tell Batman and Superman what he had learned clearly flashing on the wall. But eventually the thoughts focused in on a thought of Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl playing ping pong with a ball shaped like Vic's head; and that seemed to cement his answer.

"Fine, we have a deal." The Question answered with a bit of sadness.

Xander smiled underneath his mask. Nodding, he walked over to the work bench and picked up the flesh colored mask that The Question normally wore. Turning, Xander walked over to where The Question was still restrained and firmly pressed the mask onto The Questions face; turning the hero back into the faceless vigilante.

"There you go, oh, and don't forget your parting gift. Bye Bye now." Xander said, snapping his fingers once and causing a transporter beam to pluck The Question off of the table and into the cafeteria on the Watchtower.

* * *

On the Watchtower, The Question appeared right in the middle of the cafeteria, standing right on the table in front of the Huntress who was enjoying lunch with the Black Canary; The Question's foot was in what was formerly the Huntress's blue jello. A couple of other things seemed to happen at the same time.

First, The Question realized he was in the middle of a very full cafeteria right as a zapping sound was heard above his head. An instant later his head was covered by some white material.

Quickly whipping the cloth off his face, he held it out in front of himself and looked at what it was.

It was a white t-shirt, and on it was written, "I went to Romania to spy on The Leviathan, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt."

Looking down stunned at the t-shirt in his hands, The Question realized two other things.

One, everybody in the cafeteria was staring at him wide eyed and open mouthed. Two, it was a bit drafty being naked in the Watchtower.

Vic was quick to use the t-shirt to shield his privates and then sprinted out of the room; doing a bit of a sliding hop on one foot to turn the corner into the doorway out into the halt due to the blue jello still smeared on his feet.

Behind him he left a gob smacked mixed gender audience of heroes, and one heroine named the Huntress who decided it may be a good idea to get to know The Question better.

* * *

Back in Romania the Leviathan took off his helmet, revealing a Xander Harris who started to laugh out loud as the nano-clanks that had hitched a return ride with The Question reported the reactions of the Justice League back to the screen in Xander's lab.

Laughing to himself, Xander pressed a few buttons on his remote control and moved the metal table to a horizontal position upon which Xander could sit on and watch the actions in the Watchtower. Soon the single screen became two split screens, and then multiple split screens as the nano-clanks that Xander had injected into The Question dispersed themselves through the station and connected to Xander's Sparkbucks spy network. The nano-clanks would be fully out of Vic's system within the hour, and Xander had given The Question a large enough injection to pretty much saturate the nooks and crannies of the Watchtower with his little spies.

Xander kicked back and just enjoyed the sights as the nano-clanks in the Watchtower filtered through the air ducts out of halls that The Questions ran through, the remainder would leave his system when Vic reached his room before scattering throughout the space station.

Smiling to himself, Xander congratulated the Castle, "Good job on planning everything and capturing The Question, Bob. Just wondering, at what point did you realize that he was an intruder?" Xander asked, while still focusing on the view of the Watch Tower.

"I think it was a bit clear when a male farmer disappeared into the main bookstore's bathroom only to come out sporting the same dimensions of last year's February Playboy centerfold of the month. Trust me, that's the type of thing that I always monitor." The voice of Bob issued to Xander, chuckling a bit at the end.

Xander continued to smile and nodded in understanding, which was until a thought bounced through his head, "Hey, um Bob, does that mean you peep on the hot girls here in the castle and throughout the country?"

There was silence for a few moments, and then finally Bob answered back.

"Um, I plead the fifth Xander." Bob stated solemnly.

"Bob, I hate to break it to you, but we're not in the United States, there is no fifth amendment here." Xander replied with a bit of a smirk on his face, he couldn't really fault Bob from looking at the girls; after all, Bob's personality was patterned after Xander.

"Well in that case, I just refuse to answer due to my self preservation protocols." Bob mumbled.

Xander laughed and clicked the off button on the remote before hopping off the table and heading for the door.

"Well that went well." Xander said to himself as he wandered out of the room.

Suddenly, the lights in the hall around Xander turned red, and a klaxon began to sound at the same time that Bob's voice announced.

"Battle Stations, Battle Stations, the border is under attack. Repeat, the border is under attack. Heavy bombardment is inbound from Kaznia, activate all military units and stand by for orders. Repeat, please proceed immediately to Battle Stations"

Xander's eyes got large, and as the portal that would bring him to the command center opened before Xander, he cursed to himself, "When will I ever learn to keep my big mouth shut."

* * *

**AN: A bit of a cliffy, sorry about that, but if I didn't end it there though this wouldn't be out for another week. Figured to keep it around the 8k word size rather than break the 15k threshold. If you like it and you want me to continue this, please review. They inspire me, they help my muse, and they get me writing more; so really it's a win win situation all around.**

**POLL: Should I make this a series, an epic long story, or just end it now? I'm at the point where I could keep this going or just focus on other works of fiction. Let me know.**


	23. Chapter 23: Winning Hearts and Minds

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN1: Wow, look at all the reviews when I mention that I was thinking about stopping writing. I was getting a bit discouraged that nobody thought it was good enough to review, even though there were lots of readers. Anyway, here's another chapter as a result of all those reviews, looks like we may have an epic on the way. That said, I suggest turning on some hard rock music or something with a driving beat, it's what I'm listening to while writing this chapter. I now return you to your regularly scheduled butt kicking.**

**AN2: Ok, so a note from me. There are some soldiers portrayed in this chapter. All I can say is that I work in defense and hold all honor and respect for the military and intelligence services in my country. That said, my portrayal of a specific Special Forces team in this story is not a description of my feelings for those who make it their profession. My friends on the teams and in the rest of the military understand this, and I hope you do also. Cheers.**

**AN3: This wasn't Beta'd, my beta is still in exams.**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

**Chapter 23: Winning Hearts and Minds**

"Once you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow" - Lyndon B. Johnson

Xander finished affixing his Leviathan helmet to his head by the time he exited the portal into the Castle's command center. The new command center was a vast room filled with banks of control personnel speaking into headsets while sitting before holographic screens and keyboards that backlit the room in a golden glow that both clashed and melded with the red lights that bathed the control room. The holographic systems had been a step up in technology from the energy absorption field that Xander had originally created, and a research group of Romanian computer programmers and electrical engineers had designed and installed it in the control center with the goal of keeping the Castle's command center at the bleeding edge of technology.

The holographic systems, coupled with the upgraded nano-clanks that the controllers had been injected with, allowed the command center's personnel to multitask at the speed of thought. On the walls at the front of the room were banks of screens filtering information from the little clanks that were scattered throughout the country and monitoring the borders, and in the middle of the room was the control chair through which all the information, technology and weapons control was routed.

Xander sprinted towards the command chair, blurring in motion, and appeared again seated in the control chair. Closing his eyes, Xander brought his nano-clanks in his suit and body up to full activity and allowed his brain to commune with the systems of the castle.

In the blink of an eye Xander had received an update on the situation and summed it up in words, "Shit, this is going to hurt before it gets better." Xander cringed before starting to issue commands to the computer systems around him.

* * *

Thirty minutes earlier…

"Are your people ready to launch the attack on the Romanian border Nardoc?" Asked the large bald headed mercenary with a nasty scar across his cheek asked. The mercenary leader was wearing all black fatigues and rested the latest model of a Lexcorp automated minigun on his shoulder; the feeder belt to the minigun looked as big around as an elephants trunk and connected the gun to the backpack energy source that fueled the gun's firepower.

The two men stood on the crest of a hill looking out over the border between Kasnia and Romania; the Romanian side bristling with metal towers that snapped and hissed with the release of electrical bolts.

Around the base of the hill the rebels, separatists, terrorists, or freedom fighters of Northern Kasnia unlimbered artillery and uncrated the assault rifles that had been delivered by Lexcorp. A short distance from the base of the hill came twenty older Russian battletanks rolling out of the trees to park before their crews. The tank crews then exited their vehicles and joined the mass of soldiers removing the weapons and high impact ammo that Lexcorp had provided; of course all the serial numbers and brand names had already been removed from the weapons before delivery.

Behind the mercenary was his five man team, a group of cutthroat black op veterans that had decided to leave their nations' services when they decided that living under rules like the Geneva Convention wasn't for them. The modus operandi for the mercenary unit was to hit with extreme firepower, destroy everything in their path without a care for collateral damage, and to achieve the mission's goals so they could get paid. This was clearly evident given the fact that each of the men in the group was armed with overly large flame throwers, miniguns, machineguns, or grenade launchers. The only one of the group who didn't look as though he was 'compensating for something' was the sniper; but even there his 458Lott long gun called his masculinity into question.

Nardoc looked up from where he was looking over the second generation laser penetrator repeating rifle that Luthor had provided Nardoc and his band of Northern Kasnian separatists. "Absolutely Major, your employer came through on his promise to provide the weapons that will bring my people freedom from the royalist scum. We will provide you a path through the lightning ring, but what do you plan to do once you get into Romania?" Nardoc replied with a question.

The identified Major growled, and dropped his minigun off his shoulder to point at Nardoc, "What we do in Romania is none of your fucking business. You will provide the entry into Romania, and that is all you need to concern yourself with, are we clear. And I don't give a flying fuck about your crusade, jihad or whatever you call it, I'm here for my mission, and that's all I care about." The mercenary leader prefaced his command by spitting on the ground at Nardoc's feet, the spit brown and clumpy from the chewing tobacco that bulged out the Majors front lip.

Nardoc looked up at the man, then down at the multiple barrels of the minigun pointed at him, then back up at the mercenary's face before nodding, "Yes, we will open a path for you soon. Thirty minutes until the barrage starts, but know that we will only open a path for you. My scouts have stated that a gypsy caravan lies just on the other side of the border, and we will not shell the camp for you to get it out of your way.

The Major smiled an ugly smile, teeth covered in bits of black tobacco and a bit of blood from where his gums had been abraded by his habit. "Heh heh, no worries, we won't be going past the camp, just get us into the border and your job will be done." The major chuckled evilly before turning back to his men and circling his finger in the air.

"Mount up boys, apparently there is a gypsy camp right on the other side of the border that we are supposed to be… careful, about. Heh heh." The 'Major' grinned, his evil smirk was mirrored by the men in his squad as they strolled down the hill towards their waiting helicopter.

Nardoc had a bit of a cold chill go down his back at the Major's words, and began to second guess his deal with Luthor. The year had been going poorly for his band of fighters. The southern generals, who were the really people in control of Kasnia, had fought in name only for the Kasnian Princess and had been pushing further and further into the lands of Northern Kasnia; burning and beating down the people as they fought north. Nardoc had been surprised when Lex Luthor had contacted him offering a simple trade of weapons for help in access through the secured Romanian border. Now though, Nardoc just hoped that that his deal with the devil wouldn't lead to he and his people paying the butcher's bill if they woke up the fury of The Leviathan.

* * *

The image that had initiated the Castle's call to battle stations was when the twenty battle tanks and six howitzer artillery pieces had appeared rolling up to the crest of the hill on the Kasnian side of the border. The appearance of the armed unit could only mean one thing, somebody was stupid enough to try and invade Romania by force. Somebody had decided to kick the hornet's nest to see if the Leviathan had been serious when he stated that he would respond in kind if somebody attacked his country; thus the call to arms throughout Romania.

Xander watched on the screen while the heads up display on his helmet fed him information on the types and capabilities of the weapons that he saw arrayed against his border's defenses.

"Hmmm, that doesn't look too bad." Xander said out loud before mentally communicating to the Castle.

'_Bob, given the nature of the weapons we are seeing, are our defenses able to repel the firepower from those 60's era Battletanks and those howitzers? If I'm reading this right, our defenses should be able to knock down the ordinance that those things fire, correct?" _Xander communicated his thoughts to his nano-clanks, through the command chair, and to the AI that controlled the castle. It allowed lightning quick communication back and forth between the Castle and Xander, giving Xander the ability to compress an entire conversation into less than the blink of an eye.

'_Yes Xander, assuming they are firing standard ordinance; but you know what happens when you assume…" _Bob answered back to Xander's mind. Left unsaid was the answer of "You make an ass out of you and me."

Xander continued to look at the screen as the tanks finally came to rest at the top of the hill, swiveled their guns towards the border and opened fire. This is when things went from mildly bad to 'OH SHIT!', for what came out of the muzzles of the tanks was not the standard ordinance.

* * *

The recoil from the rounds barely pushed the tanks back, the shock system in the turret and in the locked treads made it almost unnoticeable when the rounds exited the barrel and started their trip down range towards the field of lightning towers.

It was upon exiting the barrel that the real fun began. As the Lexcorp 505 condensed penetrator cloud technology came online, sloughed off the canister that had surrounded the original round and released control fins, a controlled rocket burst accelerated the round from 'damn fast' to 'fucking fast' in microseconds.

Twenty meters from the border, the little computer inside the warhead sensed incoming defensive measures, and before the lightning bolt could hit the incoming round, the thinking claymore targeted multiple towers and initiated the shaped charges that would send liquefied copper penetrator darts at the towers before it; and this was just one of the twenty similar rounds that was fired in that first barrage from the attacking tanks.

The command to fire at will was given, and the tank crews worked to pump round after round down field at the electrical field. By the time that the second barrage was launched from the tanks, the howitzers of the Kasnian rebels also came into play and started to send their ordinance on target.

Rather than the straight line drive shots that the tanks unleashed, the slightly arching projectiles fired from the howitzers didn't have the smart technology to counter the defenses of the lightning field in order to hit directly on target. Still, when the round is comprised of a Lexcorp brand miniature aerial-fuel-bomb lodged in a 75mm howitzer round, 'close' works just as well.

* * *

Xander's brain hiccupped for less than a second, which was the time it took for a two hundred meter swath of his lightning field to disappear under barrage of copper penetrators and concussive force explosions.

Xander's brain kicked it back into high gear even as the computers and command staff fed him information regarding the imminent penetration of the border.

'_Bring the counter artillery guns online, fire on that ridge and then for effect in an one hundred meter radius from the location of those tanks, I want them scrap metal in five minutes or I'll be uploading an episode of grannies gone wild into your memory core.' _Came Xander's first command, at the same time a little red light started blinking on his HUD as a helicopter was seen to crest the hill over the tanks and dart for the border; skimming the ground at fifty feet.

Around Xander the command center came to life, issuing commands for the batteries to come online, and on the top of the castle slots seemed to meld open from the polished surface while hundreds of rail-gun turrets larger than the turrets found on battleships immerged from the Castle. The wall behind Xander's command chair seemed to split along diagonal seams where they sunk into the floor, ceilings, and left and right walls. The walls moved, exposing four twenty foot long shelves that housed fish tanks with hundreds of brains floating in a red bubbling fluid. Wires connected to the brains disappeared into the walls, and as a humming sound came from the tanks, the brains began to seemingly twitch while on the roof above the guns swiveled and pointed towards the incursion into Romanian territory and returned fire.

'_Gun system online and firing._' The voice of Bob issued solemnly through Xander's head, though Xander's attention was firmly focused on the path of the helicopter that was swooping closer to the border.

Xander's last hope that the border defenses would knock down the helicopter were ruined when the last lightning tower blew up before the helicopter reached the fifty meter range from the line of no return.

'_Damnit!'_ Xander cursed in his head, _'I want the first brigade of Boyz on that border now! Send a company of DireWolf Mechs to support them! Hunt down those incoming forces and kill them.'_

The AI system immediately responded to Xander, _'The seventh division of Dark Troopers will be onsite in one minute t-minus twenty seconds and counting, they are being transported to the launch off point as we speak.'_

Xander saw the helicopter scoot right over the border undeterred, the turbine of the powerful special forces helicopter sending it speeding on a trajectory that Xander's HUD said was right over a gypsy encampment that was close to that part of the border.

"We don't have a fucking minute! Get them there now!" Xander cursed out loud as the helicopter on the screens turned into a hard bank right over the gypsy camp and seemed to expel black camo clad figures down fast repel ropes. Xander ignored the fact that the artillery rounds had started to impact the ridge, launching tanks and howitzer crews into the air from the impact of Xander's outgoing explosive rounds.

Xander shot out of his seat as an image on the screens in front of him struck him with horror; his little clanks secreted in the trees around the gypsy encampment and who had been spying on the border gave Xander a ringside seat to the massacre that was now happening.

* * *

Four of the mercenaries seemed to sky walk as they walked off the edge of the helicopter, allowing the fast repel ropes and their harnesses to drop them towards the ground twenty feet away and slowing them right before the impact with the ground before their knees cushioned the remaining blow. Then they turned as a group and opened fire of the startled Gypsy families while the sniper and the major gave covering fire from the helicopter doors. All of the ordinance they were firing exploded against the people and the mix of brightly painted trailers and RV, spreading blood and terror through the formerly peaceful Gypsy camp.

"Grab a healthy girl if you can boys, Luthor is only paying for a living one who contains whatever super cure the Leviathan is giving his people. He didn't say anything about us not having fun with her before we handed the slut over." The Major commanded into his throat mic, his teammates answering with an affirmative or chuckling along with him over the radio as they cut down the defenseless civilians.

Shooting and blowing the head off of a man who charged the mercenaries with a carving knife, the sniper laughed, "You always were a horny bugger after kill'n, weren't yah." The Sniper chuckled. The Major turned from firing from the door to briefly smirk back at the sniper before trying to see if he could carve an RV in half with the rounds from his minigun.

The big silent guy with the grenades launched a shell in the window of a red and yellow painted ornate trailer. The muffled thump of the explosion and flames flickering out the window were prefaced with a scream as a late twenty's something girl stumbled out the door, her bloodied grandmother clutched in her arms as they fled the burning trailer.

The flame thrower trooper stopped sweeping his flame over the roof of an RV camper to grab the girl away from her grandmother before punching the brunette in the face and throwing her over his shoulder while chuckling.

"Got just the right one Major." The guy gritted out over the radio, his cigar chomped out of the side of his mouth while he grinned at the fun he was having.

"No… not my Jenna! Don't take my Granddaughter!" The old woman screamed, blood flowing from her split lip and from her ears where the concussion of the grenade round had punctured her ear drums.

The thug mercenary just grunted and smirked before walking back towards the helicopter with the girl over his shoulder. Ignoring the old woman, as his objective had been completed.

* * *

Xander was stunned, absolutely stunned. No level of fighting the evils of demons had prepared his mind to comprehend the evil that man could create. He saw everything, heard everything that had happened in less than a minute to the gypsy camp.

Xander saw the death, saw the senseless destruction, and his communications systems intercepted the radio communications of the mercenaries. He knew who they were, what they were there for, who had sent him, but he was still stunned at the senseless bloodshed; here was an example of true evil.

"No, no this can't be happening." Xander whispered, wide eyed as he saw the old woman call out for them not to take the girl, watched as the soldier made it to his helicopter and threw her limp body into helicopter just as it touched down to load up the troops; right as red portals began to open up all around the campsite and the gap in the border and began to disgorge Xander's Dark Trooper Jägers.

The first few troopers were knocked back by the explosion of grenades, concentrated minigun rounds, or sniper rounds which ricocheted off of the Dark Trooper's helmets; all together it gave the helicopter enough time to escape.

"No! No I won't allow it!" Xander snarled, his eyes beginning to flash a bit yellowish green as the primal struggled to come to the forefront of his mind.

"AAGGGGGHHH!" Xander yelled at the ceiling before commanding.

"Stop them… no wait, I want Kasnia." Xander growled. "People are going to pay for this, and it's going to start with Kasnia."

Xander face was an angry mask as sat back in the command chair; in an instant he issued seemingly hundreds of commands to invade Kasnia which was pretty much summed up as:

"_Send medical teams with nano-bags to the camp, prep the Lazarus Pits and warm up the Leviathan's arch, I want Kasnia's capital city on its knees and all its military forces destroyed in an hour. Activate all wings of Starscreams, I want five divisions of Mechs and seven million Dark Troopers dotting that country now! Saturate that mother fucking country and kill anything that resists but protect the civilians where possible. I want the leader of that attack dead along with all his men, and then bring him back to life so that I can deal with him when I return! And please make a call to Black Adam; politely ask if he wants to flex his muscles. I'm going to get back our girl." _Xander commanded, before mentally calling for a portal to open up over him.

An instant later Xander was in the air over the castle and flying in a blur towards the border.

* * *

"Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!" The Mercenary Major yelled at the pilot of the helicopter as the last of his men hopped onto the chopper. The Merc then depressed the firing stud on his gun to blast a dark armored soldier off his feet; only to see the figure stand up again a few seconds later.

More and more red portals were opening up to disgorge the dark armored beings; the ground around the helicopter was getting a little too populated for the comfort of the mercs, so the helicopter did a fast assent and evacuation of the scene to get the hell out of there.

Weapons fire seemed to explode out of the side doors of the helicopter as the six man team of mercs worked in a flurry of action in order to send rounds at the advancing figures. Time and again the mercenaries knocked the Dark troopers down only for them to get right back up again.

The grenadier emptied his six round magazine at the advancing troops before reloading. Screaming over the sound of the copter's blades and whining turbine engine, the man yelled out, "They're not human! Those mother fuckers just keep popping back up like those damn clown punch dolls! They must be some sort of machineeEEEAHHGGGH!" The merc's statement was cut off in a scream as one of the Dark Trooper's laser rounds hit the man right in the chest, killing him and leaving him hanging limp out of the helicopter, still attached to his door harness.

"Fuck me sideways, those soldiers might not be machines, but those sure as hell are!" The sniper said, eyes large and face pale as a large portal the size of a skyscraper opened up about half a mile away. The portal seemed to wink out immediately after the giant humanoid robot exited its opening, only for the portal to open up to the right of the first mech, and then to the left, disgorging a second and third mechanical monstrosity. The portal continued to wink on and off, until a 'V' formation of five giant mechs were seen tromping across the field headed right for the breach in the border; the same breach that the helicopter was currently passing through.

"Shit! Cut the dead weight loose!" The Major cursed before swinging around to yell at the pilot. "Hit the deck and get us the hell out of here, or those things will blast us out of the sky." The soldiers rushed to comply; cutting their former comrade out of his harness and pushing the corpse out the door. At the same time that the body was pushed out the door the helicopter dived towards the ground to skim the earth at about fifteen feet in the hopes that the terrain of the ridges and hills in the area would shield them from the weapons of the giant war machines.

It was a rocky flight, for in coming down to earth they entered the target zone of the incoming artillery rounds. Taking evasive actions, the pilot barely missed catching a shell on the tail rotor of the chopper, swinging the helicopter to the right and back to the left like a drunken sailor on shore leave in order to dodge the incoming shells.

As the helicopter reached the ridge where the tanks and howitzers had been the mercs were able to briefly see the ruined husks of burning steel and splattered bodies that had been the northern Kasnian separatists. Several of the former Kasnian forces could be seen running or dragging themselves into the forest that was about four hundred meters from the destroyed hill, but the helicopter quickly passed by and the merc's lost sight of the remains of their former 'allies.'

However, the helicopter didn't pass quickly enough that the soldiers for hire missed the tell tale red glow of more opening portals that opened up right at the opening of the forest. The helicopter continued over the forest, skimming the treetops as the glow of red lights could be seen in the forest below along with the occasional explosion or flash of flames that enveloped a tree.

"Incoming!" Screamed the pilot, and juked the helicopter to the left hard just as a wing of fighter jets buzzed them at two hundred feet. The wing of Starscream fighters screamed by on full afterburners and shrank into the distance but didn't circle back around to engage the helicopter.

The Major leaned forward and addressed the pilot at a yell, "What the hell is going on out there, nobody is firing at us anymore and those things should have dusted us no problem?"

"I don't know Sir." The Pilot answered back before looking at the co-pilot. The co-pilot looked over his radar system before yelling back over the sound of the rotors. "Whatever is going on, it sure is one hell of a shindig. I see blips popping up on the radar all over the place, and it looks like its raining MIGs at the Romanian border. Kasnia is getting flooded with forces." The co-pilot regurgitated what he was seeing on his radar and sensors.

"Holy fuck, I think I know why nobody is firing at us! We've got a super incoming fast on our tail, just breached the border. It must be The Leviathan!" The co-pilot screamed, eyes bugging out as he realized how deep they were in it.

The Major reached forward and 'Slapped' the Co-pilot in the face, breaking the man out of his stupor.

"Luthor expected something like that might happen, that's why we have that AHMEN missile. Fire it and start praying boys." The Major commanded, before leaning back into the troop compartment of the helicopter and pulled out his knife to start stripping the unconscious girl.

"I hope this works," the co-pilot said to the pilot as he depressed a button and a missile detached itself from the stubby wing like protrusion it had been mounted on. The missile ignited and rocketed off in front of the helicopter only to loop back and shoot back in the direction behind the fleeing mercenaries.

In the back of the helicopter the Major was busy stripping the kidnapped brunette of her clothes with his combat knife before breaking out ratchet ties and securing her arms behind her back.

"She's a pretty little thing boss, but what are you doing with her in the middle of an evac?" The guy with the flame thrower bit out around the cigar that was chomped in the side of his mouth.

The Major didn't even look up, "We just fired the AHMEN boys, and if that doesn't stop The Leviathan that is hot on our tails, I'm planning on a bit of a distraction to get us out of here. It's one thing to kill everything in your way during a mission; it's another to get killed for it." The Major answered loud enough that the still living mercs in the helo could hear him.

The girl began to awaken as she felt the cold wind blowing through the helicopter. Behind the helicopter, The Leviathan was fast approaching.

* * *

The AHMEN missile, or 'Anti Homo-Metagenus Elimination and Neutralization' missile was a product developed in secret by LexCorp for the Cadmus project; a secret U.S. government program to combat meta human threats such as Superman and the Justice League. The design details stated that the weapon was a tool for 'neutralizing near invulnerable superhuman enemies of the United States.' Lex had sold the idea to Dr. Amanda Waller, the head of the Cadmus Project, that the weapon could be used to negate any rogue superhuman threat to the United States. The reality was that it was another attempt by Lex Luthor to kill Superman.

The missile launched out of the bottom of the helicopter and deployed forward as its motor ignited. A second later its radar system matched the incoming signal of a high speed human shape as that of a possible metahuman threat, and it used a series of thrust vectoring baffles to do practically a 180 degree turn and home in on the incoming target. With that, the missile quickly accelerated to over three times the speed of sound, straight for The Leviathan.

* * *

Xander wasn't just pissed off, he was beyond angry and in that state of cold simmering hate that he held for only enemies on a par with the vampire Darla who had forced Xander to eventually stake his 'brother' Jesse.

Appearing above the Castle, Xander had accelerated fast enough to leave a brief after image and a vapor ring as he almost immediately broke the sound barrier in the cold wintery air. Going all out, he was at the border in twenty seconds and getting there at the same time that another barrage of shells hit the ridge on the Kasnian side.

Xander spared a glance down at the carnage that was scattered around the burning Gypsy camp and noted that it was swarming with medical personnel and rescue forces just as he had commanded before he left the Castle. However, rather than being thankful that his medical people were treating the wounded and deceased, Xander felt a cold anger seep deeper into his soul as he promised that not only would he make the attackers pay in blood, he would see that his people were healed or brought back to life; even if he had to storm the very gates of hell to get their souls back.

It was an instant, and then Xander was over the border and jetting in the last direction he had seen the helicopter disappear.

"Sir, Starscream unit twelve just reported seeing the helicopter north east of your current position." The voice of JARVIS the AI in Xander's helmet informed Xander in a proper British voice.

Xander didn't even answer, rather he tilted to the right as he dropped out of his higher altitude and dove to a north east angle of attack before skirting the trees. Around him on the forest floor pine trees disintegrated in sprays of splinters and blasts of fire as the Dark Troopers chased the former attacking Kasnian force through the woods.

Xander looked up from the forest, hoping to see the helicopter, only to get a quick warning as his heads up display started to flashing red warning lights at him that a missile had locked on to him.

Things seemed to slow down as Xander's eyes got larger, his helmet showed him a large two foot diameter missile coming straight at his face.

"SHIELDS!" Xander yelled, right as a stunning explosion of fire, light and a thousand kryptonite ball bearings hit Xander straight on.

* * *

"Ah Hah! Got him! Boogey is off the screens, the missile got him." The co-pilot yelled in joy before smirking at the pilot and turning around to tell the squad of mercenaries the good news.

"We got him boys, the missile knocked that bastard out of the air," The co-pilot said with a smile, informing the now smiling mercenaries who were just now starting to think about their upcoming payday. "It should be smooth sailing from here to the other Kasnian border Whoah!" The co-pilot started off bragging back to the soldiers only to get thrown sideways in his seat as the pilot took evasive maneuvers. The co-pilot looked at the mercenaries, and realized that all of the mercenaries were focused on something behind the co-pilot.

Turning around The co-pilot saw the Leviathan was clinging to the windshield.

Quick drawing a sidearm, the co-pilot unloaded into the glass and the Leviathan on the other side of the cockpit glass, only to be stopped as a fist punched through the glass. The Leviathan's black gloved hand crushed the pistol and the hand of the co-pilot.

* * *

"Give…Me…The…Girl." Xander growled, his speakers clearly broadcasting his angry voice into the cockpit loud enough to drown out the screaming of the co-pilot whose hand he was currently crushing.

There was a moment of silence, until in classic villain manner, the Major answered.

"You want her?" The Major yelled as an evil look came over his face, he pulled up the girl by her hair, held her in front of his chest, and then buried his combat knife right between the girl's naked breasts before throwing her out the door of the Helicopter. "Then go get her!"

"AGGGHHHH!" Xander screamed in rage and released the co-pilot while diving away from the now fleeing helicopter.

Xander pushed his speed to the max, but the helicopter was already only a short distance of only fifty feet off the ground when that bastard had thrown her out the door of the helicopter, and the girl was plummeting quickly towards the forested earth below.

"Faster!" Xander demanded of his body, and still the girl fell.

Twenty feet, then fifteen feet above the ground the girl fell, followed quickly by ten, her pleading eyes large and mouth open in a silent scream up at Xander, the scream not coming out as anything other than a bloody gurgle.

Xander plowed into the girl and twisted his body around to cover her at the five foot mark, only to go skipping across the ground and feel the impact of trees breaking against his back as he skipped across the ground from the force of his speedy descent.

The sounds of Thud, 'ooooof' of Xander's body was prefaced by the snapping of branches and finally a loud 'Pop' as he hit a thick pine tree and stopped.

Wincing, Xander quickly removed his arms from where he had shielded the girl, only to look into the bloody face that was a mirror of Jenny Calendar's, aka Jenna Kalderish.

"No… No it can't be. Oh God in heaven help me." Xander mumbled as he saw the eyes of his computer teacher and often times daydreams look up with him with such pain and fear that it was heart breaking.

"No no no, this can't be happening. God help me." Xander repeated, not sure if he was mumbling or really praying for some divine intervention, just as Jenna coughed and a gurgling upchuck of blood came out of her lips.

Xander's eyes got big, "No, I'll save you, you can't die on me, not now!" He shouted, tears threatening to come to his eyes as he quickly reached behind the girl and popped her bindings while at the same time reaching for the dagger that was still embedded through Jenny's sternum.

Quickly, Xander pulled the nasty serrated knife out of her chest and immediately replaced it with pressure from his other hand; at the same time he willed his nano-clanks to heal her. With everything Xander had he wished his nano-clanks to heal Jenny.

Jenny's eyes got big at the pain of the removed knife, and her now freed hands shot up to grab at Xander's arms as a tremor of agony shook her lithe body.

"Come on damn-it, you're going to make it. Heal! Come on… Please God help me." Xander cried, tears trickling down his face as he watched the face of a friend start to fade before him.

No supreme being or god answered Xander's plea for help. Instead, the sound of Jenna's gasp came out ragged as she sucked in a deep gurgling breath and looked up at Xander, her head in his lap.

Jenna Kalderish of the DC Comic book universe looked up at the black face of the helmet before her as she struggled to breath. She felt so tired, so weak, and as her vision began to blur and go grey, she reached up and laid her hand on the face of the man's helmet and simply said, "Please…"

With that, Jenny fell silent in Xander's arms, her hand went limp and fell off of his face to land to the side, and all Xander could do was stare down into the unseeing eyes of the face of his friend.

Xander wept.

"No, it can't be… No, please, not another one, Not another death, no, just no." Xander started, mumbling through the tears, but then something clicked, a voice in the back of his head stated.

'_Don't get sad… Get Even.' _It growled.

With the voice, Xander's sadness turned to anger. His anger turned to rage, and finally, his rage turned to Fury. And as the world turned red in his vision, Xander embraced his inner Primal Spirit. For the first time in Xander's life, he was in complete agreement with his inner voices, and his voices were all screaming for Blood.

* * *

Xander disappeared in a flash of teleporter light along with the body, but whereas the body was sent back to the medical center in the castle, the Xander who had fully embraced the power of the Primal appeared half a mile straight in front of the path of the fleeing helicopter.

Xander's senses were super tuned to the smallest sound, the smallest sensation as the symbiosis of Xander working in tandem with the Primal and the Heterodyne persona gave him the synaptic responses and super human senses to be able to see every detail inside the helicopter that was coming straight at him.

Xander could see the pilot lean back with the co-pilot to joke with the soldiers in the back of the helicopter, hell, Xander could even hear them joking over the sound of the helicopters blades and the wind that issued around him.

Xander's eyes flashed, but instead of flashing green, they flashed to black as the full ramifications of Xander's anger, powers, primal spirit and technology merged together in one goal.

"Jarvis, full power to the weapons, suck it out of the air if you have to, but give me everything you've got." Xander commanded menacingly.

Xander flexed out so that his body created the most surface space, and as he flung his arms and legs out, he became the equivalent of almost a black hole in the sky. Xander's shield flashed, and then the absorption qualities of the shield technology kicked into high gear as they absorbed the heat in the air, the energy of the barometric pressure, the forces of gravity that were pulling down on his body, and even the light that was around him. The powers of the Major Spark within Xander twisted the laws of science and nature and the world seemed to scream in agony as Xander became a vacuum in the sky; sucking in all forms of possible energy around him, even converting the mass of molecules in the air outside his shield into energy.

For five seconds Xander sucked energy into his shields, pulling it in so fast that the dark spot in the air drew the attention of the pilot of the helicopter.

"What the hell?" The pilot asked questioningly.

Xander heard the voice of the pilot travel the distance to him along with the air that he was absorbing into his shield.

In response, Xander folded in on himself, as if he was going into a floating fetal position. He held it for one second, before exploding into a standing position, hands pointed right at the helicopter that had halved the distance to him in those brief moments of absorption.

"DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Xander screamed in absolute rage, and out of Xander's hands came The Leviathan's vengeance; a beam of light equivalent to the power of a solar flare and as blinding as being at ground zero in a nuclear explosion.

There was no time to realize what was happening, no time for even pain. One minute the helicopter was there with those smirking laughing bastards who had slaughtered his people, the next it wasn't. Xander's energy blast enveloped the helicopter and continued on to punch its way out of the atmosphere as it roiled the clouds around it and then disappeared out into space.

Still, it wasn't enough, the revenge didn't feel complete. So Xander turned his attention to the Kasnian military forces and went looking to get his hands dirty.

* * *

The country of Kasnia didn't exist in the dimension that Xander had originally come from. In Xander's dimension Serbia and its 'Autonomous Province of Vojvodina' held the position where Kasnia stood on the Romanian border. The differences between the two dimensions didn't end there, for in the DC comic book universe, the country of Kasnia had been fighting a bloody civil war on and off for over a decade and would continue to do so for hundreds of years if the regular timeline of things had come to pass. In the DC comic book universe Kasnia was basically abandoned by the world's governments and even by the super heroes; left to wallow in unending war so long as no super powered weapons or beings got involved.

In the original DC comic book universe the Justice League only intervened in the Kasnian conflict when a villain used Kasnia as a launching ground for some monstrosity or bid to take over the world. The heroes would then swoop onto the scene, stop the villain, and then leave the people of the country to go back to killing their neighbors. Such was the heresy of the main heroes of the DC comic book universe, but that is another reason why Xander didn't call himself a hero.

Business was going about as normal on that cold February morning in the Kasnian capital city of Novi Sad. Cars were moving through the streets, stopping at the red lights or at the military checkpoints that dotted the city. Citizens were going about their business, the government was functioning as normal under the rule of the military, and all of them were unaware that forces in the north of their country had just declared War on Romania.

They soon got the hint as giant box shaped red portals opened up over the city, and started disgorging giant machines of war, bristling with guns and weapons galore. Where the portals opened up over a civilian building such as the hospitals, they remained hovering in the air to provide artillery support. However when the portal opened up over military buildings such as the Petrovaradin Fortress or a military building, they plummeted to the ground to crush the building beneath their immense weight.

At the same time, the architectural wonder that was the Leviathan's Arch in the middle of Bucharest lit up, showing the world that it was actually a gigantic transporter array capable of transporting line of Mechs and thousands of soldiers every second. As the arch warmed up and the giant portal came to life, the forces of The Leviathan stepped off of the Bucharest main thoroughfare and into a large park in the center of Novi Sad. The portal would disgorge about two thousand troops and a set of battle mechs before the exit point would flash to another large open park of field in the city, again depositing thousands of Xander's forces in his enemy's capital.**Католичко гробље**

The city was stunned and left reeling for five minute. Five minutes where the alarms did not sound, where the alert was not issued, and where none of the military or police forces of Kasnia reacted. Xander's forces used those five minutes to transport in, and wreak havoc.

This was the epitome of Blitzkrieg warfare, lighting war unlike any seen in the annals of history as Xander's forces were behind the gates, guards, and fortifications instantly upon hitting the ground. The Mech that landed at the Most-Slobode bridge that spanned the Danube river, pivoted at the waist, lowered its arm gun towards the gob smacked guards manning a checkpoint at the bridge, and fired a single gauss round that was accelerated by its electromagnets to incredible speeds. The impact obliterated the guards, the guard shack, and even the road so that there was only a twenty foot diameter crater left. It then turned and did the same thing to the guard post on the other side of the river, effectively cutting the city in half at the Danube and denying the Kasnian army the use of one of their major bridges. The Mech then took to the air with jump jets to clear the river and head for one of the military bases that surrounded the capital city.

Other Mechs landed around or in the middle of Army facilities, disintegrating rows of armored tanks, anti-aircraft guns, SCUD launchers, fuel trucks and barracks before anybody could react. All of this was accomplished while dark troopers transported into the command buildings to seize or kill all officers and resistance. Throughout the country the Mechs were supported and supporting the effort of Dark Troopers as The Leviathan swept all resistance before him.

Meanwhile, the Starscream units poured over the border in formations that darkened the sky and began to blow what little military aircraft they could find out of the air before turning to target air bases where they erased Kasnia's Air Force from existence. Absolute air superiority was the name of the game, and no truck, jeep, or military vehicle was able to maneuver the fields or roads of Kasnia without coming under fire from Xander's aircraft.

All of this was just describing what Xander's military was doing. All of which was almost nothing compared to what Xander himself was doing to the major military bases in the north of Kasnia.

Xander allowed the blood lust to take over as he quickly returned to the border and used the superior sensors built into this helmet and nano-clank suit to track down the remaining Kasnian survivors of the border attack.

Catching one, Xander dug his freshly formed nano-clank claws into the skull of the screaming man as Xander commanded his nano-clanks to suck all of the information out of the man's head. With that information, Xander then went on a systematic cleaning of every operating cell of Kasnian separatists that he could find. He found them in their homes, in offices, in military bases and hidden in the forests and caves of the country. And when Xander found them, he used his claws to drill into their brains and steal their secrets, leaving behind a corpse as he went on to track down the next level of fighters.

Xander left a bloody swath as his wrath drove him to find and eliminate all possible threats to his country, climbing the chain of Kasnia's revolutionary movement one body at a time. Finally, he found the final piece he was looking for and jetted into the air.

Spinning in a barrel roll with both arms pointed in front of him, beams of shearing energy coming out of his hands, Xander looked like a corkscrew helix of death as he dived out of the air and drilled deep into the hardened bunker that housed the Headquarters of the Northern Kasnia Separatist Movement.

Hitting the ground inside the large command center buried in the earth, Xander activated the emergency 'bleed off' of his shield, and all remaining energy that he had absorbed exploded out from him in a wave of white hot concussion. The explosive boom that Xander's shield had emitted upon energy release deafened the survivors left in the bunker; not that they would hear anything as Xander was a silent blur of nano-clank formed claws and spines that ripped and shredded their way through what few humans had been left.

Xander gave no bellows of rage, no gnashing of teeth, nor crying of pain at the loss of his people. No, Xander was a silent killer. Just as a predator on the Serengeti would silently track down and kill any threat to it or its pack, so Xander destroyed the Kasnian military forces that presented a threat to his people.

Tearing the spine out of one man while simultaneously spinning a clawed hand to behead another, Xander and his still pristine black suit absorbed the rounds from a startled survivor before Xander bisected the man with his claws.

Xander paused to make sure that he had killed all of the people in the bunker. Heaving a few deep breaths while looking around the interior of the bunker, Xander queried his Jarvis system.

"How are we doing Jarvis." Xander asked, his wholly black eyes examining the details of the invasion as well as the sensor of the situation around him on his heads up display.

"This base has been neutralized, Sir. Castle Bob is coordinating the offensive and asked me to inform you that we have sustained minor casualties due to the modern weaponry of the royal guards and those surrounding the leading generals." Jarvis explained. "However Sir, all units report ready status and my algorithms suggest that we should have the country fully under your control within the next thirty minutes." Jarvis finished.

Xander stood straight, coming out of the crouched defensive position he didn't realize he had been standing in. He took a deep breath, and then released it in a hiss while giving his back a shiver to try and release the stress he had been holding in.

"How are the casualties? Have we lost any to permanent kill?" Xander asked, not wanting to really hear the answer but understanding that since they were his people, he was responsible for them and their deaths. Such was the cost of leadership.

"Sadly sir, yes. Twelve of the gypsies killed in the initial attack were beyond help even by your level of technological prowess." Jarvis announced before continuing, " This is where my protocols make me asks you to remember Hal Jordan and his ultimately futile hope to save everyone, even to bring everyone back from the dead. I am now running an internal diagnostic of your mental capacity… noting some increased remnants of adrenaline and other endorphins in your system, a small amount of possible addiction to said hormones… calibrating, repairing." Jarvis continued as a preset control algorithm, which Xander had installed in his helmet's AI system, took over the auto-doc system in Xander's nano-clanks.

Xander felt the stress and tension in his system relax, and his eyes seemed to tingle while the urge to kill seemed to drain away from him and no longer scream at him in the back of his mind.

"Repair complete, you should be back to normal Sir. How do you feel?" Jarvis questioned.

Xander shivered his spine, cracked his neck from side to side, and then smiled resolutely. "As well as can be expected given the situation. Thank you Jarvis." Xander responded, his eyes now back to their normal color while the primal spirit receded back into the depths of Xander's mind.

"Ok, let's get out of here." Xander said as he fixed his tie before floating out of the hole in the ceiling of the bunker.

"Have the units report into me when Ahhhh!" Xander began to order as he cleared the lip of the bunkers roof, only to be blasted sideways by a giant green fist.

Xander slammed into the ground and was held down on his back by the green fist that turned into a hand, a hand that extend on a green beam of energy to a green lantern shaped ring on a floating man's finger.

"Your Tyranny ends here Leviathan, We're taking you down." John Stewart said as he willed his ring to hold The Leviathan down to the ground.

Xander looked up and stared at Green Lantern as well as Hawkgirl who was flying next to the hovering man in green.

"Your killing ends here." Hawkgirl added while fingering her mace with a look on her face like she was looking forward to possibly using it.

Growling, Xander spat out at the heroes, "You Justice League heroes are such hypocrites! Where the fuck were you when these Kasnian were slaughtering the innocent civilians of my country!"

"We're not here for them, we're here to stop you from killing anymore." John Stewart answered blankly while willing his ring to pull The Leviathan off of the ground and bind him floating in the air.

Xander stared at the heroes, and in his mind the battle between fitting the definition of a hero warred with what he knew he had to do, what he felt was right.

"I will not… I will not allow my people to be killed, and I will do whatever it takes to protect those who have put their trust in me. Release me and leave, I don't want to fight you." Xander growled, coming to a decision that he didn't like but knew he had to make.

John Stewart frowned. "It's over Leviathan, you are defeated." The Green Lantern answered while willing his energy beam to encase Xander's form in giant bindings of energy constructed chains that wrapped Xander's body from his feet to his head.

"Fine!" Xander spat, "If that is your decision, then know that I have not even begun to fight." He sneered before commanding Jarvis mentally, _'Shields on Jarvis, yellow energy spectrum NOW!'_

A slight hum issued across the distance between Xander and the heroes who had 'captured' him, and a slight shimmering shield popped up around Xander's body before flipping through hues of the rainbow to end up shining in the color yellow; the one weakness that almost all Green Lantern rings had.

"Arrrgghh!" Xander grunted as he threw his arms and legs apart while flexing his muscles.

The Leviathan's green energy bonds shattered like so many pieces of glass in reaction to the yellow shield and Xander's super strength.

John Stewart had a moment to realize he may be in trouble before the Leviathan was on him and John was suddenly having the air knocked out of his lungs by a fist to the gut before an uppercut connected with his jaw and he was blasted backwards in a flurry of body blows and headshots that came at him with the speed of The Flash and the force of Superman's fists.

Xander smirked as he beat the shit out of the Green Lantern. Xander wasn't going to kill the heroes, but he was going to make sure that they remembered this fight and thought twice about trying to get all high and mighty on him again in the future.

"Right, Left, Right, Left, A, B, A, B, Select Start! And you're out of here!" Xander chanted with right and left hooks followed by head and body blows before finishing with a knee to the nuts and then the uppercut that sent the Green Lantern flying upwards; right into an open yellow transporter opening that disappeared the Green Lantern to be deposited on the ice of the North Pole.

Xander didn't have a chance to stop though, as from behind him he heard a growl of fury.

"ARRGGGHHHH!" Hawkgirl yelled while diving at Xander and swinging her mace at his head with all her strength.

Xander ducked and spun under the darting Hawkgirl before coming up the other side. Xander smirked at Hawkgirl as she missed and spun around in the air to come back at him.

Xander jokingly asked, "Has anybody ever told you not to telegraph your moves? That whole Arrrrgh thing, yeah, that's a giveaway that you are attacking." Xander said; which only made Hawkgirl angrier.

Hawkgirl charged back at The Leviathan, her mace sparking with energy as she tried to take his head off, only to have the Leviathan blur to the left, and then to the right as she swung and missed with the first two swings and the follow up where she tried to connect with the head of her mace in the hope she could stun the black suited figure.

"And thrust, thrust, parry, parry… Good! You're learning." Xander smirked as he dodged from side to side while taunting Hawkgirl before floating out of range and just floating there for a second across from Hawkgirl.

Quirking his head to the side, Xander quipped, "You know, I think I liked your look better in your video." Xander said, his smirk turning into a full smile as he saw Hawkgirl lose what little hold she had on her temper and charge The Leviathan at full speed.

"Ah ah ah, temper temper. You look like you need to cool down." Xander quickly snarked before opening a portal in between Hawkgirl and him.

However rather than Hawkgirl disappearing into the portal, this was the exit end of the portal, the other end was deep in the water under the ice of the North Pole.

Hawkgirl's charge was intercepted by a wall of 28 degree Fahrenheit salt water blasting out of the portal and hitting her right in the face before carrying her crashing to the ground.

"Woot! Wet t-shirt contest and you win!" Xander quipped in humor before realizing that he may have really hurt Hawkgirl.

Hawkgirl was lying on the ground shivering uncontrollably as the brief contact with the literally freezing salt water had caused her to go into the first stages of hypothermia.

"Shit!" Xander said as he lost his mile. Xander quickly waved a hand at Hawkgirl and opened a portal that would transport her right to the medical suites on the watch tower.

Xander's arm was suddenly snapped back to his side as he saw a green alien like tentacle phase into visibility and suddenly wrap his body in tightly squeezing limbs.

"I cannot allow you to continue harming my friends." The voice of Jonn Jonn'z the Martian Manhunter issued from behind Xander while using the Martian ability to shape shift in order to subdue The Leviathan.

Xander didn't struggle; instead he tried to reason with the Martian. "Jonn, you of all people should understand the urge to protect your family, what with yours being killed by an invading force. I don't want to fight you, any of you, but you're not giving me a choice. Please let me go and leave." Xander politely pleaded.

There was silence for a second, before the Martian's voice answered him, "I am sorry Leviathan, but I have sworn to follow the rules of the Justice League and to carry out them out to the best of my capabilities." Jonn answered solemnly in his monotone voice that he always used. At the same time his tentacles took a firmer grasp on The Leviathan's body to keep the being from escaping.

"I'm sorry to hear that Jonn, please know that I hold all of the Justice League in the highest regard and don't really want to fight you. With that said, I'm sorry but, Jarvis, initiate firewall." Xander quoted.

Xander's shield instantly quit and the nano-clanks that made up Xander's suit emitted a blast of flammable mist before igniting it with a magnesium spark.

The 'FWOOSH' sound of the firewall system igniting almost drowned out the sound of the Martian Manhunter's scream of pain as his greatest weakness, fire, flared in his arms and badly burnt his limbs, body and face.

Xander quickly commanded the firewall system to shut down as the Martian Manhunter's limbs returned to his normal humanoid shape and the alien began to fall out of the sky.

Xander quickly darted down and caught the Manhunter before he could hit the ground. Carefully cradling the body of the Manhunter in his arms, Xander cringed. "I'm really sorry Jonn, I never wanted any of this to happen." Xander said to the unconscious green skinned alien in his arms before calling a portal that would take Jonn back to the Watchtower's medical center.

"Damn, I really didn't want to do that." Xander said under his breath, one second before a blue and red blur hit him hard enough in the face to send Xander flipping head over heels and plowing into the earth.

Xander lay stunned for a moment in the middle of a crater in the dirt. Xander's eyes crossed and uncrossed as his healing ability and nano-clanks quickly fixed his vision and the concussion that he had been given. When his vision cleared Xander saw that his HUD was flashing and seemed to be jittering though images due to the damage from the blow; a visible crack running diagonally from the upper left of Xander's helmet to about where his right cheek would have been.

"Damn, did somebody get the license plate of that locomotive?" Xander mumbled as he focused up out of the crater, watching as the nano-clanks in his helmet and armor system quickly fixed the crack and damaged systems in his helmet.

Xander saw Superman hover down into his line of vision.

Superman's arms were crossed over the 'S' shield on his chest and his cape fluttering dramatically in the breeze.

Xander frowned before replying, "Damn Smallville, I never expected a Boy Scout like you to take a cheap shot."

Superman was shocked at how The Leviathan addressed him, referring to him as Smallville and a Boy Scout which were terms only his friends knew or called him by. But the Man of Steel was even more shocked as the figure of The Leviathan seemed to disappear in a flash of light, only to feel a tap on his shoulder.

Turning around, Clark Kent, aka Superman, aka Kal El, met the black gloved fist of The Leviathan right in the face.

The 'KABOOM" of the sonic boom that resulted from Superman getting blasted into the ground rocked the air above the former Kasnian bunker as Superman was planted into the ground where The Leviathan had just been; adding a good couple of feet to the depth of the original crater.

"Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow!" Xander said as he cushioned his broken hand and shook it to get the sting out of it as the nano-clanks and healing factor kicked in to heal the bones and tissue he had injured when punching Superman. "Damn Clark, you really are invulnerable. Well consider us even on the cheap shots." Xander finished, shaking out the last little bit of sting as his hand finished healing.

Superman shook his head for a second to clear it of the power of the blow before looking up at the Leviathan with a frown. Pushing his feet underneath himself, Superman exploded out of the ground right at the Leviathan, fists first.

Xander had been focused on Clark and figured that Superman wouldn't give up that easily, so he was ready for the second round.

As Superman launched off the ground at Xander, the world seemed to slow down, and Xander commanded his nano-clanks to bring up the shields, but not only the shields, Xander commanded that the kryptonite that his nano-clanks had absorbed back in Yuri's lab be unleashed on the surface of his suit.

To Kal El, the black suit of The Leviathan flickered for a second, and right before he impacted the chest of the The Leviathan he saw that the suit was no longer black, but green. Superman felt the familiar sick sapping feeling of his strength leaving him right as he felt like he impacted into a solid steel wall that was The Leviathan's body.

Superman rebounded off of Xander's body and fluttered to the ground where the hero finally got control of his flight ability before he could plow into the earth. Quickly jetting back into the sky Superman stood floating out of the range of The Leviathan's now glowing green suit. The Leviathan spoke before Superman could say anything.

"You know something Clark, do you mind if I call you Clark? I can call you Kal El if you prefer?" Xander started, not really waiting for an answer while he continued to float there talking to the Man of steel.

Xander gestured with his hands as he spoke and floated back and forth in the air as if he was pacing as he spoke. "I always looked up to you heroes, to the Justice League and to you in particular. But you know what I hate about you heroes?" Xander said before continuing quickly.

"Hypothetical question, as I was saying, the thing I hate about you heroes is that all you care about is defeating the so called villains at all costs, but don't honestly care about the normal Humans." Xander continued.

Across from Xander, Superman glared before answering, "That is not true, the whole reason we go after the villains is to protect those who can't protect themselves. I, we the Justice League members, fight people like you who kill those who can't stop you by themselves." Superman finished, pointing to several uniformed bodies that lay strewn around the opening to the former bunker that was nearby.

"Them? HA ha ha ha." Xander questioned wide eyed before chuckling darkly, "What the hell do you think I was doing?" Xander continued.

Xander stopped and turned to look at Superman, "Why weren't you there to protect the camp of civilians in Romania who couldn't protect themselves? Where were you when these scum came across the border into my country and slaughtered a helpless band of Gypsies without warning? You're here to stop me? Hell, I'm here to protect those who can't protect themselves, the people of my country who were slaughtered when these Kasnians sent troops, tanks ,and artillery against innocent civilians." Xander spat back, the same arguments that he had debated with Jesse so long ago now being spat into the very face of the hero they had argued about.

Superman was stunned before waving his arm at the corpses, "But they were normal, they were human beings. Who are you to interfere in their lives and snuff them out?" Clark argued back heatedly, still not able to get at the Leviathan due to the radiation cloud of Kryptonite that surrounded the now green suit.

"Fuck them!" Xander stated, spittle flying against the front of his heads up display as his speakers relayed his statement to Superman. "You think evil is restricted to villains or people with super powers?" Xander spat before pointedly throwing his hands up in disgust.

"God Kal, use that Kryptonian intelligence and look around you! Those bodies, those people you want to stop me from exterminating are the very forces that didn't have powers, they decided to kill, they decided to go kidnap a young girl and bury a knife in her chest and then throw her from a helicopter only to distract me. These scum didn't just blink and energy beams happened to pop out of their eyes to kill somebody by accident. These fuckers didn't just accidentally hurt somebody while trying to stop a super villain or in protecting their land from invasion. They came to my house, my people, my country and killed and burned for no reason other than they could and that they wanted what we had. These are the faces of true evil!" Xander yelled, pointing around at the dead before finishing pointing accusingly at Superman.

"And you know what, you know why I hate you heroes? You could have stopped this. These deaths, the deaths of my people, the families of women and children who died in Romania today and the deaths of all the innocents that have died in the Kasnian civil war over the years. Those deaths are yours, because you were so blind to the lives and turmoil of some no worth country in the middle of Europe."

" These deaths and the deaths of all the normal people who die in wars you refuse to get involved in; those deaths are yours because you could have stopped them." Xander spat, all of his rage at himself and anger at having to fight the Justice League in order to protect his people coming out in hurtful words that struck Superman in the heart.

Clark Kent paled at the accusations being flung at him. Though he didn't agree with everything The Leviathan was stating, the bits of truth that were in the arguments struck Superman to the quick.

Bringing his grimace under control, Superman answered back, "But where is the line then? They have to live their own lives! I don't want to control everything they do and control them all every minute of their lives. Just because we have the power to do so doesn't give us the right to rule them." Superman argued.

Xander quirked his head at Superman before quietly answering, "True, but what about the people who cry out for help? My people love me, they cheer me on and in return I protect them and lead them to a life they never expected to have. I have no violent crime in my country, no terminal illnesses, no pollution or hunger, poverty or want. At least I didn't until today, when my people were attacked and killed." Xander's voice grew in volume as he spoke, the speakers on his Leviathan helmet increasing the volume as his spark added to his voice and his argumentative skills took on a different timber.

"And so, as I promised the world governments, I am responding exactly as I said I would. You are too late Superman, Kasnia will be mine and I will end the civil war here. Kasnia will be part of my empire and I will lead them into a brighter better future than the war torn blight that you allowed it to be for centuries. You cannot stop my progress." The Leviathan finished; Xander's eyes wide with a bit of a manacle grin but hidden from view under his helmet.

Superman was stunned. He felt something inside himself wanting to agree with The Leviathan, something that made him want to follow the Leviathan's lead. Shaking his head to clear his mind as The Leviathan stopped speaking; Superman realized something about The Leviathan had been trying to make him agree with the tyrant.

Grimacing, Superman's eyes lit red as he called up his heat rays. "I'll stop you. I don't have to get close to you to blast you out of the sky." Clark threatened.

Xander held out his hand quickly and said, "Wait!" The power of the spark in Xander's voice.

Clark was stunned when he found his body instantly pause, though the power didn't leave his eyes.

"Wait? Why?" Superman questioned.

Xander smiled under his helmet when he answered, "Because I really didn't want to fight you, and all I had to do was stall you for one second more."

"What?" Superman asked, right before a blast of magical lightning nailed Superman right in the back and drilled the Man of Steel into the ground.

As Clark shakily picked himself up onto his hands and knees from the dirt he had been plowed into, he heard a voice state in Egyptian accented English.

"I see that you have already started the fun without me. More's the Pity. Should I kill the Superman?" Black Adam questioned as he came to hover next to The Leviathan; magical lightning that matched the color of the lightning bolt on the center of his outfit flashing around Black Adam's fists.

"No." Xander shook his head as he answered in the negative. "If you would do me the favor of knocking him out and dropping him somewhere uncomfortable, I would appreciate it. I'd like to leave him with the memory of messing with us, perhaps he won't just blindly attack next time we are trying to protect the lives of our countrymen." Xander stated while gazing down at Superman who was struggling to rise himself to his feet.

Black Adam smirked, "It would be my pleasure." The Kahndaqi ruler stated before putting his hands together and launching a stream of magical lightning that blasted Superman back to the ground where the lightning knocked the Man of Steel unconscious.

Flying down and easily picking up Superman by his cape, Black Adam flew up next to Xander and laughed as he said, "You throw some nice parties Leviathan. I appreciate the invite. I wonder how Superman's public image will suffer when they find him naked in an Amsterdam whore house?" Black Adam said with a bit of a smirk quirking up his lips.

Xander looked blankly at Black Adam for a moment, and then words that Adam said caused a laugh to escape Xander's lips. "Ha! I never guessed you for a prankster Adam, but I knew I liked you. By all means I give you leave to carry out your prank good sir." Xander finished, chuckling and shaking his head at the image of Superman waking up in a pile of naked prostitutes, or perhaps on display in one of the infamous Red Light district's windows.

Black Adam said "fair well" and shot off in the direction of Amsterdam.

Xander was left behind with nothing but the sound of the breeze blowing and the buzz of flies that were beginning to gather around the corpses of the dead.

Looking around, Xander was silent for a few moments before querying Jarvis. "Is the country complete ours yet Jarvis?" Xander asked.

"Yes Sir, reports are coming in that the last pockets of resistance are just laying down their arms, what are your orders for any captured soldiers or police forces that surrender without resistance?" The voice of Jarvis the AI responded.

Xander sighed, thoughts and plans zipping through his brain as the voices in his head once again discussed the proper way to proceed. As he looked out over the green countryside, floating but not moving in the breeze, Xander decided on the path forward.

"Disarm all forces in the country. Leave them basic kitchen knives and any tools they need to go about business, but make sure that all weapons of war are seized and all armament plants are shut down. All captured individuals are to have their memories scanned to determine whether they have taken part in any atrocities. If they are innocent, then send them home. If they are guilty, well you know how we deal with criminals in my Empire." Xander commanded.

"Order all forces on alert and have my troopers police the newly conquered territory. Extend our existing border defenses to ring Kasnia and include it under our sphere of control. Send in the little clank brigades to monitor the populace and track down all criminals in the country, and I want a scan done of every detainee and prisoner in the country to determine guilt or innocence. Forward any questionable cases to Igor for me to deal with later." Xander continued to command before floating up into the air to give himself a better view over the surrounding lands.

"Lastly, I want miniature clanks in space." Xander said, a portal opening up before him.

"Clanks in space sir?" Jarvis questioned as Xander floated towards the portal.

"Yes Jarvis. I want miniature clanks in orbit around the planet watching and listening to everything that goes on below. I WON'T get caught blindsided again like we were today. If somebody is going to attack us, I want to see it long before they can get into a position to attack us." Xander continued, "And prepare the clanks to hijack all radio and television signals, I'll address the world in an hour." He completed.

With that, The Leviathan disappeared into his portal, leaving the dead rebels to stew in the Kasnian sun.

* * *

**AN: Whew, parts of that chapter were hard to write, but I hope you enjoyed it. I was amazed that you were able to write so many reviews last time, more than double what I had been getting on other recent chapters. This chapter is an example of what I will put out if this is going to be an epic. If you like, then please it let me know. If you think they should be shorter chapters, let me know. Cheers.**


	24. Chapter 24: In the News Today

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: Hey there, a couple of things. Appreciate the thoughts and reviews as they get me thinking on what to do in the story. I'm going to use a few of the ideas that people sent to me. Now with that said, there is one thing I want to repeat, I hate spoilers. There were some valid arguments made about why didn't Xander stop the knife, and I kind of fudged replies, but frankly I have a purpose for it regarding character development. It's great that you have questions about Lex, or why he went after Kasnia, but I'm most likely not going to answer your question in a review or private message and if I do then I'll only do so in partial bits that still leave you guessing or coming to the wrong conclusion. I've said it once and I'll say it again, if I end up giving you a spoiler then I'm going to ruin the story for myself as well, and this story will die an early death due to me getting bored with it. If you see a scene that you think should have been done differently, feel free to send me an omake. If it's decent and well written, I'll post it at the end of my chapter.**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

**Chapter 24: In the News Today**

"The only gossip I'm interested in is things from the Weekly World News - 'Woman's bra bursts, 11 injured'. That kind of thing." ~Johnny Depp

All around the world people went about their daily business, most unaware or unconcerned with the happenings in two small countries in Eastern Europe. Out of sight was out of mind and even though it was the year 1999 and information was abundantly available via the internet, television, and radio, the great majority of people in the world could not have pointed out Europe on a map let alone Romania or Kasnia. People generally just went about their lives, content in their semi-selfish natures to deal with the problems that faced them directly while letting those on the other side of the world rot for all they cared. Even so, news filtered in to the masses of the world, in their natural languages people watched the TV, surfed the internet, or listened to the radio as bits and bobs of entertainment and current events were fed to them by their media. In some countries the media was the mouthpiece of the government, while in others there was 'free press' and the media chose which news stories to pass on; generally whatever would sell best. Of the most listened to and watched news stations in the world, the 'Global News Network,' or better known as GNN, was translated into eighty different languages and had broadcasting stations located on six of the seven continents; and the research stations in Antarctica could watch the station through their satellite TV.

"This is the voice of GNN" A polished deep British accented English voice said as the logo for the GNN filtered across the screen. The image changed and then the viewers were presented with a man and a woman dressed in business attire sitting at a news desk smiling at the cameras; the news room was busy behind them in the background with people appearing to be gathering the news from around the world.

"Welcome back, for those of you just tuning in, I'm Dan Humphries." The dark haired man said with a smile, his blue tie and grey suit nicely tailored.

"And I'm Katie Sanderson, and you're live with the news desk." The late twenties something blonde woman said with a sparkling smile while looking quite fetching in her green silk blouse and black blazer.

After introducing herself the cute blonde continued to speak, "Today in the news, the country of Kasnia has fallen to the despotic forces of Romania's Leviathan in a lightning attack; also, Superman in Amsterdam's Red Light District, perhaps a new reason to refer to him as 'the Man of Steel.' But first, we go over to Jane with a recap of the major weather events and catastrophes. Over to you Jane."

The screen switched to picture a longer haired red head with fetching green eyes whom was wearing a conservative pants suit and gesturing before a green screen. "Thanks Katie." Jane the weather woman said.

"Today, horrible fires in Greece that threatened Athens and the famous Parthenon were extinguished quickly when the Justice League member The Flash used his speed to create a waterspout which was then used to hose down the fire. Though the people were happy to have the flames put out, Greek authorities are requesting reimbursements from the hero organization for subsequent flooding and to desalinate the fields around Athens due to the use of salt water to fight the fire. No response from the Justice League thus far on whether assistance or monetary reimbursement will be forthcoming, and The Flash left the scene quickly after extinguishing the fires. Sources at the scene tell of The Flash mentioning that he was in need of caffeine right before he left." Jane stated while the green screen behind her flashed up images of Greece and the fires that had been raging as well as The Flash's actions to save the city.

"In related news, Heroes of the Justice League worked diligently to evacuate Quito Ecuador which was threatened by several volcanic eruptions from the cones surrounding the capital city. The population was saved and the evacuation canceled when heroes Booster Gold, Green Arrow and Star Girl were able to drill side taps for the lava to direct the flow away from the city while at the same time sealing the peaks with debris. The people showed their appreciation by holding a feast in the heroes honor." Jane continued.

In the background behind Jane, pictures of the volcanoes erupting were followed by blurry pictures of the heroes flying through the ash clouds in order to close the volcano. The video images finished with pictures of the banquet. From the video of the feast it was clear that Booster Gold was busy trying to sell autographs and had even opened up a 'Booster Gold' official memorabilia table where he was selling lunchboxes and action figures that held his likeness. The video stopped when the Green Arrow dragged Booster away from the table and forced him to get teleported back to the Watchtower with the rest of the heroes.

"Back to you Dan and Katie." Jane finished with a smile. The camera panned back

The camera image switched back to the smiling news anchors. "Thank you Jane." Dan stated. "Today, forces loyal to Romania's Leviathan stormed over the border into Kasnia for unknown reasons, before successfully seizing the war torn country. We only have scattered reports at this time, but from what we have been able to tell, the military of the country has been totally wiped out, and all resistance was met with deadly brutal force. There is no report on the whereabouts of Princess Audrey or her status. We'll keep you up to date as any new information filters in. Now on to more important news, I think you have an interesting story to tell Katie." The male news anchor finished and then turned to look at Katie.

Smiling a big smile at the camera, the blonde began, "Now for our top story, Superman, the man who is stronger than a locomotive takes a break from the hero business to let off some steam in Amsterdam's famous Red Light District. The big questions on everybody's minds are, is he really faster than a speeding bullet and does he live up to the name 'The Man of Steel.' We now go live to our field correspondent Mathew Donaldson, over to you Mathew." Katie finished with a twinkle in her eye before the cameras cut over to a man in a trench coat standing in front of a brothel.

"Thank you Katie, I'm standing here in front of Yab Yum, Amsterdam's most notorious brothel where sources tell me Superman went on a wild all day sexual rampage with every single one of the thirty five sex workers in attendance." The field correspondent stated, walking backwards so that the camera could have a good look at the brick building with the black and red curtains and lights easily seen in display windows.

The correspondent continued to speak into his microphone about the situation, "A large man in black, who requested that his name not be given out, stated that Superman entered this facility last night around nine o'clock but was noted as being naked and sleeping off his sexual escapades in one of the brothel's display windows. Police were dispatched when they heard about a man sleeping naked in the window with a superman cape for some cover while a superman costume was being used as a pillow. However it appears that Superman had fled the scene before the police could respond to the public nudity complaint." The reporter continued. Just as he was about to open his mouth to add more details, the connection was lost and the screen started to go to static.

All across the world, on every TV and every radio, the sound of static was heard as on the TV's a blurry image hijacked the screen. As the blur faded away, and the image of The Leviathan appeared as Xander's AI computers and miniature-clanks in space took over the screens, airwaves, and signals of the world's news and entertainment electronic media.

* * *

The image of the Leviathan seated at a simple wooden desk with his banner behind him was beamed to the people of the world, at the same time that his voice was going out to those who weren't currently watching television but had a radio turned on. His image was of him in a black suit, and only the fact that the large gold three headed dragon was behind him distinguished where he was sitting in his black suit as compared to the black flag.

When he spoke, his voice was deep. It resonated not with an unnaturally sound of speakers changing his voice but it was a deepness that communicated the pain that he felt for the loss of his citizens. The systems in his computers and clanks translated his voice to that of the people in the region where they hijacked the signal.

"People of the world, I am the Leviathan, and I come to you with a message of truth. Unfortunately sometimes the truth hurts, but I bring this to you as the leaders of the world refuse to listen to the cries of the innocent, to the cries of the downtrodden, to the cries of those who are in pain." Xander started, and the power of the 'Spark' was in his voice; Xander's voice immediately captivating the minds and attentions of the world viewers.

Everywhere around the world people stopped and focused on their screens or turned up the volume on their radios, as something seemed to tug upon their hearts, their minds, their very souls and pull them into the words of The Leviathan.

"I have seen evil ladies and gentlemen, and it did not come in the form of an Alien invasion from outside this world. I have seen the face of evil, and it did not wield super powers, it did not march on the powers of famine or pestilence or some mystical power. No, I speak the truth, I have seen the face of evil, and it is that which looks back at us in the mirror." Xander's continued, spitting out the last line, and all around the world people reacted as if they had been slapped by his words; as they heard The Leviathan's words and truly listened.

"A wise man once said, 'All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.' So I ask you people of the world, what have you been doing while the people of Kasnia have been slaughtering each other for the past several decades? What have you been doing when arms companies have been fueling the slaughter by shipping arms into a war zone against international law, when you and your leaders have ignored the cries of the innocent for help?" Xander asked to the camera, and his voice was such that the people of the world cringed.

Xander did not give them a respite, instead he continued questioning them, "Where were you when the tanks rolled over the children, when the soldiers slit the throats of the old women, and blew off the heads of the old men? I tell you, look in the mirror and ask who is evil: he who kills without cause or mercy, or the one who knows about it, ignores it, and does nothing to stop it? I suggest that apathy is the worse evil. If not your apathy, then the apathy of your leaders to the killing that they knew of and did nothing to stop, all because they didn't see anything of worth in Kasnia." Xander stated before pausing for a moment.

"Your leaders looked upon Kasnia and wrote off the lives of the innocent. If there is blood on the hands of the killers, how much more so on the hands of the world leaders who looked at their check books and said, no, stopping the death of a baby isn't worth the money. Stopping the death of a child, of a teen, of a grown woman or man isn't worth the money and time it would take to get involved. These are your leaders, the ones who said the money wasn't worth it to save one life, to save ten, to save a hundred or even a thousand lives." Xander spat, anger coming through his voice, and the world paled as his words cut them to the quick.

Xander's anger started to come through his voice, along with the pain of the loss of his own people. "The blood of thousands is on your and your leader's hands. The blood of tens of thousands is your fault, because you knew and yet you did nothing. Today, that flow of blood just got larger, as the forces of Kasnia breached the Romanian border and slaughtered innocent families in my country." Xander's voice shook with anger, and around the world people found themselves falling to their knees at the onslaught of Xander's words hit them with the power of the Spark.

The image of the Leviathan stopped, and a screen flashed to images of tanks rolling up to a hill. Xander's voice carried over the sound of the clanking tanks that was part of the film, and he said, "See what your actions, what your evil has reaped. I tear off the blinders of your innocent ignorance and show you the bloodshed that is on your hands because you failed to do anything. These deaths are yours; they are on your head just as the blood of these innocents is on your hands." With that, the tanks on the hill opened fire.

The image of the slaughter was beamed out to the world. First the tanks and howitzers firing on the border, and then that was compared to images of the Gypsy camp where people were going about their morning business happily greeting each other as they exited their campers and trailers. A woman played with a child by the camp fire before handing the child over to a grandfather who bounced the little boy on his knee happily while the mother went to work on a meal over the fire. The camp was bustling with happy people going about their lives, but all of that changed when the tanks opened fire on the border. The sounds of explosions came in the distance and you could see on the camera as the families of dark haired happy gypsies stopped and looked up at the horizon. People awoke in the campers and stumbled out of their trailers to see what the sound of explosions was.

Then the camera panned to watch a high speed helicopter fly over the border. In the gypsy camp the Grandfather's eyes got large and he yelled for the woman to take the boy and run, quickly handing over the boy and starting to move just as helicopter pulled in overhead and explosions rocked the camp. The mother was almost about to escape between two campers when a line of bullet impacted on the building next to her. A foot in diameter line of bullet impacts traced down the side of the camper next to her and cut the young mother in half; leaving a crying bleeding child on the ground next to the now dead unblinking woman.

Around the world, people puked at the carnage, other's cried, and others stood with stone cold angry faces as they watched the senseless death of the people in that Romanian camp. Still, they were captured by the images, absolutely unable to look away as the pictures and sounds of the bloodshed were forever burnt into their memories.

The camera's showed in detail the old man's brave but futile charge at the killers. The old man used the chopping knife the woman had been cooking with to charge one of the killers, only to have his head explode in a mist of blood and brains as a sniper round hit him. And still the world watched, unable to turn away as the results of their ambivalence to the situation in Kasnia. They watched the deaths of the innocent and saw the blood on their hands as it was brought home to them in a very real and visceral manner.

The soldiers slaughtered the people without mercy or reason, the cameras and microphones present picking up the sound of their laughter as they enjoyed their gristly work. The killing only stopped after one of the soldiers tore a young woman from the arms of an old woman, kidnapping the girl. The world watched angrily as the helicopter escaped, even as the now infamous Dark Troopers stormed the clearing, and then the image parted to show the final scene in the girl's life.

As the world watched, they saw from Xander's view as the Leviathan's voice demanded, "Give…Me…The…Girl." Only to watch one of the mercenaries brutally drag the now naked girl up by the hair and basically tell The Leviathan to 'go fetch' while burying a vicious looking serrated combat knife in the scared girl's chest. The young woman's bloody scream as she was tossed from the flying helicopter was the last image burned into their minds.

The world was stunned. Never had the senseless loss and bloody brutal killing of the far away war been brought home to them in such a way. They watched and listened to the screams, the laughter, the gunshots, and those watching the screens saw the glee that the killers had while going about their work. All the while the images were being drilled into their minds, the words of The Leviathan repeated in their heads: '_These deaths are yours. They are on your head just as the blood is on your hands.'_

The image cut back to that of the Leviathan, and the people of the world wept along with The Leviathan as he spoke his next words, "Do you see now what you have done, the evil that you have fostered and allowed to grow and spread? Innocent people died, because you did nothing." The figure of the Leviathan visibly shivered as he brought his emotions under control. By this point, the people of the world were Xander's audience to command; such was the ethos that had been translated to them through the power of the Major Spark. Such was a part of Xander's power that he had inherited from his joining with the character of Xander Heterodyne.

Taking a deep breath, the Leviathan continued in a quiet voice that seemed to carry and niggle in the ears of the world as people stopped making sounds and even held their breath to hear what would be said next. "You made me kill today. You made me clean up the evil that you let foster and grow like a poisonous canker. The souls of the dead innocents cried out to me, and I had to act." Xander said as he leaned forward towards the camera.

A moment passed before he continued, and then The Leviathan spoke again. "My forces have stopped the bloodshed in Kasnia. Due to the nature of the attack, I responded as I promised I would, and the unthinking slaughter of my people was treated as an act of war against Romania. The video you watched happened three hours ago. In the time since then I, and my forces, have fully taken over the country of Kasnia as is our right to respond under international law." Xander explained, as the world regained breathing and nodded in understanding without realizing they were doing so.

"In the ensuing battle, the military forces of both northern and southern Kasnia were completely destroyed and the civil war was ended. Kasnia will now be a protectorate of the Leviathan and a country under my rule." Xander stated, and the leaders of the world were stunned by what they heard.

"Princess Audrey of Kasnia's Royal family and rightful heir to the throne of Kasnia has been liberated from the guards who had kept her detained in her palace over the last few years. The southern Kasnian Generals who had usurped her power and name in order to rule the country are no more. I do not seek to erase boarders or hoard power. I do not seek increased riches or gains in power. I seek peace and prosperity for all of the people who I oversee and protect. Kasnia is now such a protectorate as within the last hour the Princess has signed control of her family's monarchical holdings to the Empire of the Leviathan. The Princess shall remain my regent in Kasnia while the country is brought up to the level of prosperity and production that Romania now exhibits." The Leviathan stated with a slight nodding of his head.

"With all of this said, I bring a request to you people of the world. Your leaders have been content to save face and continue to embargo my countries at the price of me giving gifts to you all. These same leaders, who ignored and helped cause the very bloodshed you witnessed, would now keep you from the gifts that I wish to give you so that they could remain in power a little longer." The Leviathan stated with a gesture towards the cameras, his voice calling to something within his audience, making them want to give Xander anything he asked for.

"I ask you to give up your ignorance, your complacency, and to not let evil continue to grow. I wish to give you gifts to heal your ill, to feed your famished, to cleanse your skies, earth and water, and to fuel the world's homes." The Leviathan offered with a reasonableness about his voice, before pausing once more.

"All I ask in return is that you confront your leaders, these same leaders with blood on their hands, these same leaders who ignored the outcries of the dying innocents. I ask that you confront them and either replace them or get them to see reason." The Leviathan spoke in what sounded like such a reasonable request that how could anybody deny it. In response, all around the world the peoples' eyes began to gleam as thoughts of grabbing pitchforks and torches came to mind. But before the world could devolve into a series of Revolutions against their current leadership, the Leviathan spoke again.

"However instead of replacing your governments, I ask that you urge them to drop all embargos on my countries." The Leviathan's voice caught the world off guard, yet the request sounded infinitely more reasonable than world anarchy.

Slowly, Xander's voice rose, and the power of his spark hummed through his voice, "I come to help you, to help the innocent, and to save the dying." The Leviathan's voice rumbled as he stood from his chair and gestured towards the camera.

"Remember the truth that I have told you. Remember the face of evil and what it has reaped this day, your ignorance has caused blood to be poured over your hands, but that can change." The Leviathan stood, and his voice became more commanding, more royal.

"Remember this day and the faces of the deaths that you witnessed. Release your ignorance and change, and together we can do great things!" The Leviathan demanded, and across the world a chill of energy shot up the spine of the listeners.

"Great sorrow has come this day, and you witnessed the death of the mother, of the girls, of the children and old men." With each death mentioned, the images of the dead innocents racked the brains' of the people of the world.

"I ask you now for your help. Please don't make me kill again, please don't make me bury more innocent. I have brought you the truth, and I ask only that you help yourselves and those who are powerless to protect themselves. I have the power to help save your lives, don't make me stand by and watch more of you die. Allow me to reach the world, convince your leaders to drop the embargo and join me in helping save the innocent." The Leviathan stated, standing with his arms out as if welcoming the world to help him help them.

Then there was silence as The Leviathan held his pose, and then he felt exhausted from his speech and the day and slowly sat down facing the screen. Quietly Xander finished, "I thank you for your time and ask you not to forget. Whatever you do, do not forget the truth, do not let evil flourish. Thank you, and goodbye." With that, the image of The Leviathan winked out.

The screen came back to show the stunned faces of Dan and Katie. The two news anchors looked at each other; Katie clearly had tear tracks in her makeup.

Dan turned and faced the camera and was silent as it was clear he was struggling to come up with the right words.

Finally the male news anchor spoke. "Wow, I don't exactly know what to say besides I'm sorry for what I said before about the Kasnian situation and for breezing over it. Folks, it doesn't happen often, but I have to apologize to you the listeners for not giving you the whole truth. I think we all agree that our hearts, minds, and prayers go out to the people of Romania who suffered such a horrible massacre and unwarranted attack. I also want to congratulate the people of Kasnia on being freed from the military rule in their country, and we are happy that your civil war has finally ended."

Dan looked at Katie, the co-anchor continued to cry and sniffle, so Dan continued to talk. "We are deeply sorry that we didn't cover the situation in Kasnia better in the past. It is true what The Leviathan said, 'All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.' It appears that all of us have been guilty of doing nothing in this case and I feel saddened that lives were lost because of it. I think I speak for all of us here at GNN when I echo the Leviathan's statement. Talk to your leaders, your presidents, prime ministers, and legislators. Ask that they do something to end the injustice that is happening in Eastern Europe, ask that they drop the embargo on Romania and Kasnia, for it looks like with the end of the embargo we can help stop evil from triumphing." The anchor finished before taking a deep breath and looking straight into the camera.

"From all of us here at the GNN news room. Goodnight." Dan finished.

* * *

"Well, that's that." Xander said solemnly as he made sure the cameras were off before removing his helmet. Xander's Leviathan suit rippled and changed as it molded itself into a pair of doctor's scrubs and a white medical coat. Xander closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths as he turned to look at Igor who had been standing back beside the cameras.

"Igor, let's add a bit more pressure to the world leaders. How much of the world coffee market would you say Sparkbucks has right now?" Xander questioned.

Igor looked over his data pad before responding, "We are currently in control of ninety five percent of the world's coffee drinking customers, and our secret holding companies have been busy buying up all the coffee beans available on the world market." Igor looked up from his data pad with a bloodthirsty grin. "The price of the remaining coffee beans is such that our competitors can't afford to continue buying supplies, and our largest competitors have gone out of business. Only a few rival coffee shops can be found in larger cities, and we are quickly pressuring them out of business." Igor said with a grin.

"Add to that the 'Charitable' giving that your companies have been doing, all tax deductible, and the world production of coffee beans is down as our agricultural improvement charities have moved the traditional coffee farmers into the more profitable spice growing trades." Igor's grin threatened to split his face with its bloodthirsty look.

Xander's eyebrows rose as the information was given to him. "Um, Igor, why did you wipe out the competition and buy up the world's coffee supplies?" Xander questioned, trying to be calm in his questioning.

Igor responded, "I merely did what you asked me to do Sir, you told me that you trusted me to run your company and to increase your market share. I'm only using the tried and true methods that have been passed down through ages by the Heterodynes and their minions. Did I not do exactly as you said Sir?" Igor questioned with a hint of confusion, he was always so good at anticipating the Heterodyne's wishes, that this startled him that he might have done something improper.

"No. No, not at all Igor." Xander was quick to ease his chief minion's concern while pinching the bridge of his nose to hold off the headache that was threatening to come on. "I'll just have to make sure to be as specific in my requests as possible. That said; please initiate operation 'Cold Turkey.'" Xander stated.

Igor's face actually paled, "Sir, are you really asking me to close the doors on all of our stores and stop sales of all coffee worldwide? Surely you wouldn't deprive your minions of their coffee?"

Xander waved his hands in negation and quickly assured his minion, "No no, keep us fueled with coffee. Just put out an announcement that Sparkbucks coffee is going to be halting business in a show of brotherhood to the Romanian and Kasnian people. Something about that the world would have to suffer as long as the Romanian people continue to suffer under the embargo. I trust you to come up with the proper wording so that it doesn't sound like I'm holding the world's coffee supply hostage when in fact that's exactly what I'm doing." Xander smiled, to which Igor matched his smile with an evil grin of his own.

"Right away Sir, the news release will be out in two hours, and Operation Cold Turkey will be completely in effect before then." Igor smiled back with a bloodthirsty smirk.

Xander's smile faded as he thought about what he had to do next.

"Igor, what is the death toll on our side thus far?" Xander questioned resolutely while dreading to hear the news.

"Sir, the civilian death toll of Romanians is up to thirty eight men, woman, and children. Of those, twelve are beyond our help as the brain or body was destroyed to such an extent that it would be impossible to repair them to a revivable state." Igor stated stoically as he reviewed figures on his data pad.

"The death toll in Kasnia is worse, though the civilian deaths were mostly located in governmental buildings where the fighting was the harshest. Additional deaths were caused by heart attacks or accidents associated with the civilians being frightened by the sudden attack. Altogether we suffered five hundred and forty seven civilian deaths in Kasnia, but only one of those was permanent as the civilian was standing at a guard station when a gauss round erased it from existence. I'm not counting the deaths of the northern separatist cells which you destroyed." Igor continued to read descriptions from his list of the dead.

Xander took a deep breath to calm his stomach. It didn't sit well with him that his orders had been the root of so many civilian deaths. Xander also didn't like that he had personally killed so many military personnel, though he was starting to grow colder to the deaths of enemy combatants who fought against him. _'I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, though I'm pretty sure that Willow and Buffy wouldn't approve._' Xander thought to himself.

'_Pack is everything; there are only us and them. If they hurt the pack, they die; such is the nature of things.' _The gravelly voice of the Primal spirit issued in the back of Xander's head.

'_I'm not sure if I would go as far as the Primal, but what he says is the truth.' _The cultured voice of Xander Heterodyne said in Xander's mind. _'You are a leader, and with that said, decisions you make will have life or death consequences for your people and the lives of others. Whatever path you choose, you will deal with consequences and the responsibilities that come with it. One way or the other, they are your responsibility.' _The Heterodyne personas' voice said solemnly in Xander's head.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Xander closed his eyes and thought about the deaths and what he wanted to do about them. Finally after a few moments of quiet thinking, he opened his eyes to look at Igor.

"Igor, please see that all Kasnian civilians are revived via the new nano-clank repair and mental rebalancing process that we made to work with the Lazarus Pits revival process. You know the one we used to increase the success rate of survival with the Jägers brew and its transformation? Transfer them to the former public hospital after revival. Please monitor them for a day and notify their families that the extent of the injuries was not as extreme as they originally guessed. I don't want it getting out to the general populace that we can bring back the dead." Xander commanded, and Igor acknowledge with a head bow.

"How about our military forces, did we suffer any casualties?" Xander questioned, trying to get a grip on all the bad news first before moving on to work out solutions.

"Only one actually died Sir, but he got better. I believe you know the Jägers Sir, the one who lost an arm which you reattached personally? Apparently the brew you gave him previously stuck with him long enough to restart his heart when it stopped. He has lost both of his legs, but that's equivalent to a splinter for a Jäger, and I'm sure we can fix that." Igor stated with a bit of a gleam in his eye.

Xander blew out the breath he didn't know he had been holding before asking the question he dreaded, "How's Janna; the Gypsy girl who was originally taken hostage by the soldiers?" Xander closed his eyes while asking, not wanting to look around while concentrating on the answer.

"She is only mostly dead sir. I believe you would call her slightly alive, meaning that she is a candidate for the revival treatment." Igor announced.

A smile slowly crept over Xander's face and his eyes opened up beaming. "Whew, well that's good. How about I attend to the revival of the gypsies personally." Xander finished, smiling now.

"Of course sir, but you may want to speak with Mrs. Kalderish first, the girl's grandmother has been mostly healed and is in vigil with the remaining members of her family down in our medical facilities." Igor responded.

Xander's smile faded a bit, as he realized the sorrow that his people had at the loss of their loved ones. In truth, he blamed himself for the entire situation, _'If not for me and my technological gifts to the Romanian' people, they never would have been targeted as they were.' _Xander thought to himself. Stroking his hand back through his dark hair, Xander blew out another deep breath before pulling his shoulders back and standing up.

"Thank you Igor, I'll go speak with the survivors first before I start with the revivals." Xander stated as he walked for the door.

"Of course Sir." Igor stated with a bow, and followed Xander out the door.

* * *

As they walked, Igor bridged a subject with Xander that had been troubling the old minion. It wasn't natural for a Heterodyne not seek out immediate vengeance, so something about the current situation was troubling him.

"Sir, are you sure it is wise keeping your knowledge of the perpetrator of the attack secret? Surely the eyes of the world would turn on Lex Luthor if they knew the truth." Igor offered as they walked together through the metal hallways of the castle.

"No Igor, though you and I have heard the tapes of the intercepted communications, it's not even close enough to the amount of evidence that it would take to pin Lex Luthor down as the root cause of the killings. What's left of the recovered modern weapons are such twisted wrecks that they could have come from anywhere. Luthor would simply be able to walk away by saying that somebody else had usurped his name and supplied the weapons, or that the film had been doctored to portray him in a bad light. That smug bastard has already started to make inroads towards running for the position of President of the United States; there is no way they would extradite the man to certain death at our hands." Xander answered as he walked through the halls with Igor.

"No Igor. You and I know that Luthor was behind the attack. All of our people know that he was behind the attack, and you should also know that I will get him eventually. But before I do that, I want to ruin him." Xander snarled out the last part while making a crushing motion with his fist.

"Before I take his head and add his brain to my 'think tanks,' before I harvest his mind to make ideas for us and to be a slave to our people forever, I want him to know that I took everything he had, just as he took everything that those gypsies had. If there is one thing that my computer teacher taught me when she told me the truth about why she was in Sunnydale and the curse on Angel, it's that vengeance is sweeter when it's longer lasting and drawn out agony." Xander turned to give Igor a bloodthirsty grin, a dark look taking over his face.

"By the time I'm done with Lex Luthor, I want him to welcome death. That's when I'll harvest his brain and keep it alive only to give me new inventions that I will use to further our goals. Death is too good for that bastard. I want him to suffer, and know that it is I who is causing his suffering as I juice his brain for ideas. Juice his brain so much that every thought is buried in agony." Xander snarled as his eyes briefly flashed.

Igor's eyes gleamed and he nodded in understanding; this was the bloodthirsty Heterodyne master that he so loved to serve. Igor had been a bit concerned that the Mater was getting a bit too soft and caring for a while there, but here was an example that the Heterodyne bloodline was still strong and hearty.

Turning a corner, the two came up on a larger waiting room that was outside the main medical clinic in the castle. In truth it was more of a large multi-floored hospital than a simple clinic, but Xander wasn't focusing on that now as the look of anger left his face when he saw the band of surviving Gypsies gathered in a corner of the large waiting room; the grandmother in the middle looking as if she was holding court.

Xander took a deep breath before walking over towards the Gypsies. Walking closer to the crowd of gypsies, he saw them drawback to allow him entrance as the old woman made a gesture with her hand before looking up at Xander with milky white irises.

Xander looked at her, and then scowled as the medical knowledge in his head told him that the milky white color of the old woman's irises and pupils meant she was blind. Wheeling on Igor, Xander snapped, "I thought it was commanded that the survivors be fully healed? The nano-clanks should have been able to cure any blindness Igor." Xander growled.

Before Igor could answer, the woman interrupted Xander's rant, "There is no need to heal that which is already well. Just because my eyes are blind does not mean I cannot see." The old woman stated, causing Xander to turn back to look at the old woman with confusion.

"Come now Xander Harris, you of all people should know that there are ways of seeing beyond the physical eyes." The old woman said, a hint of a smile playing over her face.

Xander was taken aback; there is no way this woman should have known Xander's real name. "What the…? What? How do you know my name?" He sputtered.

"Come now Xander, did you really think that our old magic could be used to find you in this dimension and we would not know? Just because you have tampered with the nature of your body and made yourself immune to magical attack does not mean that magic still can't find you. You may be a hole in the water that is the fabric of this world, but your presence is all the more glaring because of it. But come now, sit and speak with me." The old woman stated before patting the open seat next to her.

Xander was so shocked that he didn't even argue, he merely followed her directions and sat looking at the old woman, a loss at what to say. The old gypsy woman looked as if she could be in her eighties, but given the power of Xander's standard nano-clanks that were used in the healing, looks could be deceiving. Still, the old woman was much more vivacious than Xander could have expected.

'_Didn't see this coming._' Xander thought to himself.

"Do you really think that you can prepare for every contingency when all you do is react to the latest crisis? Is that what our daughter taught you back in your own universe?" The old woman asked with a frown as if she had read Xander's thoughts and answered his question before he asked it.

Before he could open his mouth and ask how the hell she was answering his questions before he asked, she interrupted his thoughts, "Really, don't look so stunned, I'm a seer dear, and even I didn't see the attack coming. That's still no excuse for you to always be dealing with things on a reactionary basis, but we will have to talk about that later. This lack of planning is a problem that we will need to fix. But first, I know there is something you wanted to say, and if you don't get it out it will continue to eat at you."

Xander was still knocked back off his mental legs as this old woman obviously had him at a disadvantage. "Who the hell are you?" Xander finally found himself spitting out.

The old woman smirked before replying, "I am Magda Kalderish, Elder Woman of Clan Kalderish, but you can call me Bunică, or Grandmother, everybody does." She said with a negligent wave.

Thinking about the old woman as a grandmother figure flipped Xander's thoughts to the image he had seen when Jenny was stolen out of the old woman's arms.

Xander took a deep breath before speaking, "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough and didn't save the lives of your family. I feel like it's all my fault, your people would still be alive if I hadn't distributed the healing technology. If I had only gotten there faster…" Xander continued, sadness clearly coming through his voice.

"You're right, you are at fault." Magda stated with a frown that caught Xander completely off guard as he saw the hurt shine in her eyes.

Magda's eyes softened, "But we do not blame you." She said as she patted Xander's knee. "I can see it clearly now, even though it was hidden from me before. You could have stopped the death, intercepted the helicopter, even destroyed the tanks before their rounds impacted on the border." She said softly, but her words still hit Xander like body blows from a heavy weight boxer.

Xander started to look down, stunned as he realized that he had been so reliant on the border's defenses that he didn't use his own powers or his other technology to stop the attack from the beginning. Xander's mind taunted him, and the voice of Tony Harris yelled in the background.

'_That's right boy, you're still a loser and a wimp. Even with everything you've gained, you'll always be a loser.'_ That little voice of doubt attacked him.

Xander was stunned as he realized that he should have transported immediately to the border rather than sitting there watching the massacre. He should have used the transporter to open up portals that would have intercepted the shells and bullets. He should have used his speed to catch the bullets. If he had, the gypsy's would be alive. _I have failed… it's all my fault. _Xander thought, the words of failure spinning around in his mind as he finally sat down and realized what he should have done differently.

Magda cupped Xander's face and pulled it to look at her, breaking his introspection and self doubt, "There, that is your problem. For all your genius, your gifts and your powers, inside your mind you are still that Xander Harris from your old world. I don't know what happened to you back then, but you are holding yourself back with your past thinking. Know that we do not blame you." She said as she patted his cheek as a grandmother would a child.

"Now go. Go be The Leviathan and bring what is left of my people back to me. We will speak again about this later." She stated commandingly, sitting back and fixing him with steady white eyes that stared unblinking into Xander's own eyes.

Xander blinked, wiped a few tears he didn't know he had before nodding and standing up. In his mind Xander was still haunted by his own words that he had told to the world, about how much worse is it for those who have the ability to save the lives of the innocent yet don't do it. At the same time another voice in his head argued that he couldn't save everybody.

His inner voice of Ben Parker relayed, _'With great power comes great responsibility.'_

Another voice quickly interjected after that. _'What, you think Batman, Superman, The Flash and all the heroes just woke up one day and knew how to use all their powers to save the day?' _The voice of reason said in the back of Xander's head, speaking with a voice that sounded very similar to Giles's voice. _'If you don't take the time to get a handle on what you can do and what you have available to use, then you can't be expected to save the day every time.' _Reason continued before stopping to sip some tea.

'_Yeah man, like totally chill dude. You tried your hardest. Sure you failed man, but you just got to get back on that board and catch the next wave dude. No reason to get washed up on shore and get sand in your shorts; that stuff really chafes the kibbles and bits._' Xander's inner Californian said before giving him a bit of advice. _'Just next time man, try to plan ahead what you want to do. You know the waves are going to come, you need to become one with yourself or you'll never be able to deal with what the ocean sends your way.'_

'_That was very eloquent, if a little abstract Mr. So-Cal. So I believe we are agreed then, after this we take a break to get to know ourselves a bit better.' _The voice of reason said; Xander had the mental image that his inner voice of reason was polishing a pair of glasses.

'_Agreed.' _Many of the voices said except for one who said, _'No.'_ But nobody was really paying attention to the Devil's advocate, he was always saying the opposite of what everybody else thought.

'_Like the other's said, only you need to make sure your future plans include a harem.'_ The little voice said, _'It's been far too long since you've gotten any.'_

"_Here Here!'_ Several little voices called out in the back of Xander's head. Causing Xander to internally smile and breaking him out of his funk.

Xander hopped up, nodded, and then headed into the back medical labs with Igor following.

* * *

Xander exited through the doors of the sterile looking waiting room halls and entered a cavernous multilevel medical facility that was lit by the blue lights of the operating tables and the green hue of the glowing Lazarus Pit Vats that lined the walls and were full of floating bodies. Floating robotic auto-docs floated between the levels checking on the patients in the Vats as doctors, nurses and techs walked pathways that spanned the isles of tanks.

Now Xander was all about efficiency when dealing with inventions, the idea of 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' being one of the keys of efficiency unless you were one of those evil mad geniuses who liked overly elaborate machines or death traps. Given that Xander was merely a 'mad genius' and not an evil mad genius,' he decided to stick with what worked.

The idea of the Lazarus Pit was sort of in this category of 'if it's not broke,' however the method as used by Ra's al Ghul had a few flaws. Yes, it revived the dead, rejuvenated the old, and gave individuals almost limitless life, but it had this small problem where those who used it went insane and gained megalomaniac urges. Though it could be argued that Xander was already insane and the evidence was pointing towards megalomaniac urges, he still wasn't in the same ball park as Ra's al Ghul, whose life goal was to kill all humans so that the Earth could be cleaned. That said, the vats that lined the facility were the new and improved Lazarus systems.

Borrowing heavily from the ideas of Star Wars and bacta tanks, Xander had created a system that not only used the Lazarus Pit fluid, but also highly oxygenated the solution to reduce strain on the body while swarms of nano-clanks made repairs to the body and dealt with that nasty little problem that the Lazarus Pits did to brain chemistry. After a few trial and error periods almost all of the people who used the vats came out quiet sane and didn't want to kill all humans; though there was the one guy who still thought he was a duck.

Like the Amazons and their purple ray that healed almost anything from injuries to unnatural diseases, the Nano-Lazarus Vats were used to pretty much fix every problem. Get killed in one of the laboratory accidents or in the service of the Leviathan, you went in a Nano-Lazarus Vat. Shoot your eye out with a BB gun, you went in a Nano-Lazarus Vat. Cut off a limb, go in the vats. Cancer or the common cold, you could go in the vats; though the nano-clank injection was just as good. Get a splinter, you could go in the Nano-Lazarus Vat, but you would be teased mercilessly by the other minions. Right now those vats were filled with the more serious cases of people who were 'mostly dead.'

In the famous words of Miracle Max from the Princess Bride, "There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive." For the gypsies that had their brains splattered or who were reduced to a red mist, they were all dead and there wasn't anything Xander could do to help them; all the Leviathan's nano-clanks and all the Leviathan's minions couldn't put them back together again. For those who had simply died, well death was far from being the next great adventure; it was more like a rest stop until the other minions could pick them up, dump them in a Nano-Lazarus Vat, and then decant the now living body.

Xander walked into the room and took a look at the multiple layers of vats, all pretty much full at the moment with the hundreds of dead civilians and the one injured Jäger who saluted Xander as Xander walked by. Xander glared at the Jäger for messing up and saluting him when he wasn't dressed up as the Leviathan and he was in front of the Romanian medical staff, but nobody was really paying attention to the Jäger whose skeletal leg bones were exposed as his lower half was fleshed out. The Jäger quickly dropped the salute and Xander continued to silently march into the room.

Clapping his hands twice, all of the medical techs and doctors in the room turned to look at Xander.

"Ok people, I want the revived Kasnians kept sedated and moved to the old hospital building until they can be reunited with their families. The formerly dead Romanians I want decanted now and brought down here to the first row of tables. You know the drill people, have the systems double check the brain chemistry and then we will bring them awake. Chop chop people, let's get moving!" Xander commanded, and all the medical techs rushed to follow his orders, recognizing him as the chief doctor of the medical facilities.

Like a great ballet or a synchronized swimming team on dry land, the techs and doctors moved as one to stations around the room and started pressing buttons. Large service bays opened up around the room and disgorged swarms of metal tentacles that systematically reached towards the Vat's and plucked the floating humans out of them as the lids on the vats opened up.

In waves, the tentacles unloaded the Kasnian humans onto tables where doctors scanned holographic consoles to ascertain the patient had the proper brain chemistry balance and that no gene degradation had taken place due to the healing process. Then and only then did the tentacles release their patients to be transported, still unconscious, to a waiting hospital in Bucharest where they would be awakened and reunited with their families.

Most of the Jägers who had been injured were being healed in a facility hidden in the mountain under the castle, a modern day Mama Gkika's where the millions of Jägermonsters could go to relax and just enjoy others of their kind while in between battles or being on duty; meaning they drank with and fought each other more often than not. The main Jäger medical facilities were there and several of the Jägers had sustained injuries when their Dark Trooper armor had been breached by some of the weapons that the Kasnian Generals' had illegally imported for their bodyguards. The most serious injury had been to the Jäger who was currently having his legs regrown in the room with Xander. Apparently even Jägers could get pretty badly injured when they jump on the muzzle of an anti-tank cannon in order to protect their comrades. The Jäger was lucky to be alive after catching the round in the plating armor of his stomach, but in classic Jäger style all he had said was, "Godz, dat schmartz" before his heart stopped.

Fortunately for said Jäger, he had Xander's extra-strength Battle-Draught still in his system and his heart started right up after he received a few thumps on the chest. Thus he was the only Jäger present at the Nano-Lazarus Vat clinic, and the only remaining patient left in the first row of Vats after the deceased Kasnian civilians were decanted and transported out of the facility.

Soon the unconscious, but healthy, bodies of the Kasnians were transported off of the tables after they had been checked out. When they awoke they would find counselors present who would be there to talk to them if they needed to discuss their traumatic 'near-deaths.'

"Alright people, let's get our citizens out of their bubble baths and woken up." Xander stated before moving over to a table consol on the end and addressing the tech and doctor that were manning that table. "I'll take this one gentlemen," Xander directed, receiving nods from the two before touching the control panel with his hand and mentally controlling the device to begin the decanting process on the body of Janna Kalderish.

The tentacles dipped into the green fluidic mess that was the Lazarus Pit chemicals and nano-clank soup and carefully wrapped around Janna's waist and chest while others carefully but securely grabbed her wrists and legs. Xander quickly quieted the little voice in the back of his head that said she was hot naked, he was more interested in making sure she was alive and well at the moment rather than ogling the body double of his teacher.

The metal limbs placed the body double of his computer teacher on the table before him and Xander brought up the holographic image of her brain while the brain wave and chemical analysis graphs showed Xander that her mind was functioning normally. She was breathing, her heart was beating, and the nano-clanks slowly but surely removed any of the sedative that they used to keep her asleep. All Xander had to do was wake her up and make sure she was ok.

Xander pressed a button and the tentacles retracted from the patient as two arms moved out of the table to drape a sheet over Janna; just as they did with every patient that awoke in the lab. The sheet shimmered for a second as the nano-clanks it was comprised of form fitted to the patient and then became a jumpsuit with a zipper down the front; which on Jana meant that Xander gulped as her beauty was still pretty much on display. The nano-clank clothing went inert and would be removed in the changing room before the patient fully left the facility.

Finally it was time to wake Janna up. It wasn't how Prince Charming would have done it, but then again a slight stimulus to the nano-clanks in her body that brought about the human body's chemical and neurological effects of waking up worked the best.

Janna's eyes slowly fluttered as she awoke to look around. The muted blue and green lights backlit Xander's caring smiling face looking down at her. The chiseled good looks Xander had gained as he lost all of his Sunnydale Twinkie fat and gained a figure that was superior to regular humans made him quite handsome and perhaps even Adonis-like in Janna Kalderish's eyes. The blurriness in her vision added to the fact that Xander looked somewhat godlike made it understandable that she was confused when she woke up.

"Are you an angel?" Janna questioned in an accented English that was very attractive.

"Me? Angel? Mrph… HA!" Xander was startled by her words and it forced a laugh out of him; especially since the words brought to mind images of Deadboy.

"Sorry Ms. Kalderish, I'm not an angel, and the Angel I do know wouldn't be in heaven; the old pedo…" Xander finished the last part muttering under his breath but he continued to smile down at Janna as she looked up at him from her place lying down on the medical table.

"So… I'm not dead? Was it all a dream?" She questioned Xander as he helped her to sit up and look around to see several of her other family members also getting woken up and helped down from their medical tables.

Xander smiled sadly at Janna, "No Janna, I'm sorry but it wasn't a dream. What do you remember?" Xander questioned softly.

Janna's eyes looked like she was focusing on something far away as she went back over her memories. "I was on vacation from MIT when I was called home to visit the family. Everything was normal… Oh my God, the helicopter! The knife, falling!" She stated frightened as she recalled what had happened.

Janna swooned under the weight of her returning memories, but Xander caught her and wrapped his arms around her as this woman who was so familiar yet still a stranger broke down crying in his arms.

"Come now, let's get you to your family." Xander said, sliding an arm under Janna's knees to lift her into a bridal carry that easily allowed Xander to carry her towards the door of the clinic. Normally Xander would have tried to insert humor to try and relieve some of the pain, but the situation was such that even the class clown of Sunnydale High couldn't come up with a joke at the moment.

Xander led the way out door of the medical facilities and into the waiting room, as the other stunned family members were transported via hovering wheelchairs.

The greeting of the reunited family members was one of tears and joy, as family members who thought they would never see each other again reunited. The trauma of the death, and the bloody nature of it, tore at the psyche of the people as one instant they were under attack and dying and the next they were healthy and meeting the healed remnants of their family; only to learn of who had been lost. The human body was not meant to go through the shock of bloody catastrophic death and then complete rebirth, it went against the laws of nature and left mental scars even as the physical ones were healed. As Xander helped Janna into the arms of her grandmother, he was thankful that he had the foresight to have the nano-clanks in the revivees continue to modify and control the mental chemistry such that none of the patients would go into shock or suffer a panic attack.

A little niggling in the back of his brain told Xander, _'See, you can think ahead when you try. If you can just get away for a while and get to know just what you can do, what you know and what your abilities are, then maybe you won't have to witness something like this again.'_ Xander contemplated that message and the advice Magda had given him earlier, even as he watched Magda be the pillar of strength that her people needed at the moment.

The tears and talking of the families continued, and Xander stood there silently along with a few doctors to monitor the situation and make sure that everybody remained relatively stable. Still, Xander and his medical staff were strangers and outsiders to the Clan's grief; touched by the death of their countrymen but separated from the proceedings by the lack of familial bonds that existed among the family members who cried together and shared embraces.

The greetings, tears and tales told by the group seemed to slow down to a trickle before it was stopped with a simple rising of Magda's hand for attention. "We have suffered a great loss." The old woman spoke in Romanian, the full depth of her feelings coming through the timber of her voice yet her eyes were dry of tears. "We have regained some of our family, but we shall grieve those lost to us. We shall remember them, and in remembering them we shall grow stronger, and we shall use their loss to survive." She stated resolutely, and her clan took strength from her; even Janna who had been crying in her grandmother's arms sat up and was able to wipe the tears from her eyes and nod in agreement.

Then a gleam came to Magda's eyes, and she turned to look at Xander. "Now we will speak of vengeance." The Elder Woman of Clan Kalderish stated firmly, focusing on Xander. The same gleam now shown from the eyes of the rest of her remaining clan as they all turned to look at Xander.

"Come Xander, give me your arm and walk with me. Tell me what you know about those who were responsible for my Clan's loss. Tell me who is responsible and what plans you have to make them suffer before we destroy them." Magda stated, and the bloodthirsty grin she shown towards Xander was mirrored on the faces of the other gypsies surrounding the old woman.

Xander walked over to the old woman and smiled the same evil smile back at her; he was just as thirsty for vengeance to be turned on the bastard that was responsible for his country's recent suffering.

Magda looped her hand through Xander's offered elbow and Janna took the other as they slowly got up and wandered towards the exit to the medical facilities. The remaining Clan members, and Igor who had appeared out of the woodwork as usual, followed along closely so they could hear what their plans were to be.

Xander thought for a moment as he guided the two ladies towards the exit to the hospital. As they exited out the door, Xander asked, "Well, first I have to ask, what do you know about Lex Luthor, LexCorp, and the international law surrounding Embassy property?" The increased gleam in Xander's audience's eye suggested that they had an inkling where this was going. They continued their discussion as they walked towards the Castle's transportation center.

* * *

Meanwhile in Metropolis, Lex Luthor shivered and cursed before pressing a button on his desk. "Damn-it Mercy, get that stupid secretary to turn the heat up in here. For some stupid reason it just got cold in here." Lex cursed before reviewing the data he had received regarding his Kasnia/Romania endeavor.

Sure it hadn't gone exactly as planned, but that is why he had made sure that there wasn't any evidence that could 'legally' be used against him. Add that to the fact that the Leviathan hadn't said anything about Lex being involved in the attack on the Leviathan's people, and it looked like Luthor had gotten away with it scott free. All he had lost were a few weapons, but he could write those off as a business expense and claim it on his taxes.

Swiveling his chair around so that he could look out the window of his office, staring down at the lights of Metropolis, Lex smiled to himself as he leaned back in his chair. Lex Luthor kicked out his feet, put his arms behind his head and smirked an even larger grin. "Damn it's good to be me." Lex stated, right before another chill went down his spine.

"Damn-it Mercy! Get some heat in here!" Lex yelled before going back to enjoying the sights of the city.

* * *

**AN: Wow, longer chapter than I expected; and I thought I would get to the Justice League and their response in this chapter also. Oh well, will just get to it next time. To those who mentioned the whole stopping bullets and knives thing, this falls under one of those times where I hate to do spoilers and so will try to do obfuscation if I respond. I stated Xander was not a seer, and frankly given his level of experience with villains and the fact that he hasn't fully explored his skills, he's going to need to do some self discovery before he can always catch the bullet and save the day. Superman had to grow into his powers, The Flash had to take time to learn what he could do, and Xander has smarts and powers that he has to get used to having rather than falling back on old mental habits from Sunnydale. More character development. Anyway, I hope you continue to enjoy this, and please let me know your thoughts via a review or private message.**

**Poll****: Xander is going to go around the world to grow a bit. I already have a few ideas on places to go for growth and adventure, but I'd like to hear some ideas from you all. If you know places in the DC universe or our world that you think Xander should visit, then by all means please send me a private message or put it in a review. Also, if you send me a private message and you want me to respond, please make sure you have private messaging enabled. Cheers.**


	25. Chapter 25: Preparing to Travel

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: This chapter didn't come to me as quickly as the last couple did as I had to do a great deal of planning and research to get things set up. This is by no means a filler chapter, but it does start to answer some questions that had been referred to in earlier chapters while at the same time adding some more fun zaniness to the overall tale of Spark Xander in the DC Universe. I hope you enjoy it and thanks for all the thoughts and statements, I really am using some of them as you will see in this chapter. That said, I still need some ideas of places to go (both real world and dc comic book world) and I need ideas for characters from the DC comic universe to interact with. I'm not really looking for made up characters; there are plenty of 'real' ones and places to go to already in the DC universe, our normal one and the Sunnydale verse so fire away. Cheers!**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

**Chapter 25: Preparing to Travel**

"When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money". ~Susan Heller

The news of Sparkbucks closing its doors, and halting coffee sales, until the embargo was removed was met with the gnashing of teeth, weeping, anxious shivering, paranoid delusions, and a sense that the world was at an end; and that was just The Flash's reaction. After administering some heavy sedatives, Wonder Woman was finally able to join the other Justice League members who were meeting.

"Where were you?" Batman growled accusingly at Wonder Woman as she entered the room.

"What do you mean? I've been here all day, which is fortunate for most of you as somebody needed to get you all into the auto-docs and get you healed." She replied with a bit of a frown.

"I just finished sedating The Flash, if you heard the screaming then you know that he just learned that Sparkbucks is shutting all of its doors and halting coffee sales until the Romanian embargo is lifted. I had to use the heavy sedatives again; he burns through the regular stuff too fast with his increased metabolism." Wonder Woman finished as she took her seat.

"By heavy sedatives you mean?" Hawkgirl asked, still wrapped in a heavy towel and with her helmet off so that she could let her hair fully dry.

Wonder Woman cracked her knuckles, "You're better off not knowing." She answered with a bit of a frown. "He was getting a bit delusional in his withdrawal from the caffeine, and he may have mistaken something for extra large sippy-cups of coffee."

The men around the table all cringed for a second, but the Green Lantern finally frowned and decided to bring her back to the topic they were discussing.

"I think Batman meant where were you when we were trying to stop the Leviathan from slaughtering those soldiers. We wouldn't have needed to be healed if you had helped us fight." The Green Lantern stated a bit petulantly.

Wonder Woman turned to focus on the man and paused before replying clearly and concisely, "I will not be responsible for the Amazon nation going to war with the Leviathan and his Empire." Wonder Woman stated with a slight narrowing of her eyes, "Not only am I a member of the Justice League, I am first and foremost the ambassador to Man's world from the Amazons of Paradise Island and Queen Hippolyta. I filed the proper forms in the Justice Leagues computer over a month ago regarding my orders not to interfere with Romania. I will not fight the Leviathan unless I absolutely have to. When I saw you return unconscious but otherwise mostly unharmed, I decided I would be better off staying here to see to your healing. It's a good thing I did; otherwise you all would have been in some serious trouble given the nature of Hawkgirl's hypothermia and J'onn's burns."

"So that's it then, you would allow a murderer to get by simply because your mother told you to? That's where your loyalties lay?" Green Lantern accused Wonder Woman.

Wonder Woman sat at the table with her hands leaving slight divots in the table where she was pushing her fingers into the metal. She frowned at the accusation, "You saw the news broadcast. That was a legitimate act of war in retaliation for the attack on the Romanian people, he responded in kind out of a sense of Justice, not Vengeance. It is in line with the tenants of my people. The Amazon people deplore war and all that is part of Ares's sphere of control. However, I, just as any Amazon, would have responded the same way. You don't leave an invading force capable of attacking you again. You either disarm them or behead them if you don't have a choice." The Amazon said with a hint of anger but still a civil tone.

Wonder Woman took a deep breath to calm herself before continuing. "Kasnia has been at war for over a decade, a mistake that we left unsolved and which The Leviathan was forced to deal with if his people were to remain safe. If anything The Leviathan was merciful in that barely any civilians were injured or killed, and the reports are stating that the death tolls are much lower than originally reported. I'd figure that you as a member of the Green Lantern corpse should support his take over, he brought peace to Kasnia after We left it in chaos after We defeated Vandal Savage." Diana stated, drilling home her point by pointing at the people around the table every time she said 'We.'

"The fact that we are partially to blame for the bloodshed that spilled out of Kasnia weighs heavily on my soul." Wonder Woman said with a gesture, her voice showing the caring woman that underlay the hard exterior of a warrior.

"He's a murderer and should have been stopped. You should have been there!" Green Lantern said jumping to his feet and pounding his fist on the desk.

Hawkgirl put out her hand and rested it on John Stewart's arm to get the man to relax and to sit down again.

John, the Green Lantern, wasn't the only person in the room with a temper though, so Wonder Woman snapped back at him, "I disagree. Besides it wasn't like you could have locked him up. He's a legitimate leader of his country in the eyes of the world, even if the Leviathan is a disliked one at the moment. That however is probably going to change, my Mother has already requested that we open talks with The Leviathan regarding opening an embassy in his country and possibly beginning trade." She stated petulantly.

"Really, your mother is going to open negotiations with a being who just single handedly wiped out several thousand troops in a few hours?" Batman debated in his usually growly voice, "I thought your people abhorred war?" The Dark Knight stated, somewhat accusatorily.

Wonder Woman swung to face Batman, "He is a warrior, just as we are! Besides, you have nothing to stand on, I don't remember the report stating that you were there, and don't even get me started on Kal!" She growled and her eyes glinted angrily in the light.

Speak of the figurative devil and he will appear it seemed, for just then a much chagrined Superman floated in the door, "Sorry I'm late. I um, had to deal with Lois." Superman stated with a cringing look, especially when all the heroes turned to frown or glare at him.

"What do you have to say for yourself! Going off and participating in the gross objectification of women when you should have been elsewhere. GRRrrrrrr." Wonder Woman ended her statement by literally growling at Superman.

Superman acted in the better part of valor and decided to sit on the opposite side of the table from Wonder Woman, but not very close to Hawkgirl either as she was looking at him while fingering her mace like she wanted to use it on him.

Clark Kent, aka Superman and better known to the world at the moment as 'The Man of Steel,' rubbed the back of his head in a bit of shame before holding up both hands, "I was there." He stated, looking around at the heroes but not seeing any allies; Batman was giving him the silent stare that so unnerved the thugs and villains of Gotham. "Um, at the fight I mean, not at the brothel. Oh Shit!" Superman stuttered, before ducking under Hawkgirl's mace that flew through the space where his head had just been.

The mace flew through the air and buried itself in the wall behind Clark's seat.

Superman quickly continued his explanation, "Wait wait! I was at the fight; only by the time I got there The Leviathan wasn't alone. I got nailed in the back by Black Adam." Kal tried to explain.

"Black Adam was with you at the brothel also!" Hawkgirl yelled in disgust, misinterpreting the words of Superman due to her anger.

Clark's eyes got large when he realized what he had said; he quickly started waving his hands in front of his face, "No no! Black Adam nailed me in the back with magic!" He said, his explanation not helping at all as both female heroes got out of their chairs and started moving forward with the intent of doing Superman grave bodily harm if possible.

Superman's eyes only got larger as he quickly noticed two things: One, he still hadn't explained clearly; and two, Neither Bruce nor John were going to come to his rescue. Both of two other male heroes were apparently smart enough not to try and tangle with Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl in their current states of mind.

Superman then engaged in a dose of Super-Willow-babble to save his life, or at least his manhood, from the two women, "I Was At The Fight But Black Adam Blasted Me With Magic While The Leviathan Distracted Me! I Woke Up At The Brothel! Not The Face!" Superman stated, the sight of the pissed off ladies being enough to even scare the almost invulnerable Kryptonian to put his hands in front of his face; though he probably should have been protecting his Kryptonian jewels.

Both Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl stopped and looked at the cringing Superman, before looking at each other. Then with a "Humph" they turned on their heels and moved back to their chairs to sit.

Superman realized he wasn't going to get hit and started to relax a bit, looked around, and finally returned to his chair.

It was quiet for a moment, before the up till now silent Martian Manhunter phased back into visibility and spoke, "I did not see Black Adam, though I was aware of you stating that you were on your way right before I was incapacitated. How did I get back to the Watchtower if you were knocked unconscious Kal?" Jonn Jonn'z asked.

Kal El was glad for the change of subject, and quickly replied, "Right before I hit the Leviathan I saw you disappear in a flash of light. I assumed The Leviathan had transported you somewhere, but I didn't know where. By the time I got there the rest of you were nowhere in sight." Superman explained, hoping they were moving on to better topics; ones that wouldn't leave him getting in any more trouble.

"You all appeared in the medical clinic in flashes of yellow light." Wonder Woman explained, before quirking her head to the side and thinking out loud, "It appears that The Leviathan can modulate the color frequency of his teleporter array." She muttered contemplatively.

It was the Green Lantern turn to be chagrinned now, "Yes, we noticed. Right before he broke through my energy constructs he flashed yellow."

"Hmmm, and when he appeared before the United Nations his transporter color was red, while the Grey Knight's color was blue. Interesting." Batman stated his thoughts out loud as he rubbed his chin.

The Martian Manhunter turned to Batman and asked, "What is it my friend? I recognize that tone of voice?"

Batman was quiet for a moment, "Nothing yet, but I'll have to talk to The Question first to see if he has remembered anything." Batman replied as he looked at the table. Looking back at the green Martian, Batman questioned, "Have you been able to help The Question pull up any memories of his time in Romania?"

J'onn Jonn'z shook his head in the negative, "No, I am sorry but it looks like he doesn't remember anything from his time in Romania. Other than the normal confusing images in The Question's mind, every time I ask him about what he learned in Romania an image of Wonder Woman and other female heroes playing ping pong or volleyball with The Question's head comes to mind. I've never seen such a mental representation before." The Martian answered with a quirk of his head. Before the Manhunter could explain further Superman's communicator started to ring loudly.

Clark picked it up, and his face immediately went pale.

"Who is it? Is it an emergency?" The Green Lantern quickly stated, standing up in his chair.

All the heroes swung to focus intensely on Superman.

"Um, no, but um, I've got to go." Superman stated as he slowly got out of his chair.

"What's wrong?" Batman demanded giving Superman a dark glare.

Superman rubbed the back of his neck shyly, and didn't look at the eyes of the other heroes. He didn't really know how to say it, so he just said what came to his mind, "Um, well Lois was watching the news when the report about me at the brothel came on…" He started.

Immediately all the guys in the room cringed, even the normally sedate Martian and Batman.

"Yeah…" Superman continued, "Um, J'onn, would you please take me off world duty roster until I let you know… I um, I'm supposed to stay around Metropolis for the time being." Superman stated, continuing to rub the back of his neck.

At that very moment, Plastic-Man walked by the door to the meeting room singing the song to Rawhide. As the Gumby-like hero strolled past the meeting room he yelled, "Keep them doggies rolling! Whappish!" He punctuated his singing by making the sounds of snapping whips by transforming his arms into whips.

It was purely by accident, but the whipped sounds made Superman turn a bit pink with a blush. His communicator went off again and his eyes got big.

"Ok Bye! Got to go!" Kal El quickly stated, and Superman was gone, faster than a speeding bullet.

The other heroes looked at each other, and all three of the usually stoic male heroes actually cracked smiles; smiles that cleared from their faces quickly enough to be gone by the time the women looked away from where Superman had just fled and back to the men.

"Now where were we?" questioned Batman.

Wonder Woman turned to look at Batman, and questioned, "No, where were you when they were fighting? You were quick to round on me, but where were you?" She asked pointedly.

Batman turned to look at the Amazonian, and slowly replied, "The Joker is still on the loose and I need to catch him before he can set off his next surprise." Batman explained.

All of the heroes nodded.

Suddenly a loud girlish scream of absolute agony rent the air. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The voice echoed from outside the meeting room and throughout the station.

Everybody cringed before quickly hopping up.

"No worries." Wonder Woman replied with a huff and a sigh as she stood up, "It's just time for The Flash to be sedated again. I'll bring up the purple ray tomorrow to help with the withdrawal symptoms." She explained, cracking her knuckles as she walked out of the room.

A loud 'thud' sound was heard a few moments later, and the ear splitting screech finally stopped as all the heroes cringed.

Whether from the cringe was from the scream or from the use of 'sedative,' nobody was willing to say. They might be brave heroes, but none of them were stupid enough to question Wonder Woman's bedside manner.

* * *

The time after Xander's message to the world and the revival of the 'mostly dead' had pretty much been spent with a quick bite to eat followed by the Kalderish Clan being led to a suite of rooms in the Castle while Xander too retired for the night. His body still required sleep after all of the day's happenings. No matter how powerful his combined natural and technological healing factor was, Xander was still human; well mostly at least.

By the time Xander woke up and the sun rose over the mountain peaks surrounding his castle, Igor and several select minions were already there to bring Xander up to date on the response from the world.

All evening and night long, messages of support were flowing in from around the world and Xander's intelligence networks were kept in high swing as they charted the reaction from the world leaders.

Over all the response was overwhelmingly positive towards dropping the embargos, but there were a few naysayers; mostly dictators that were worried that The Leviathan could swing it somehow to take over their countries as well.

Still, those dictators and world leaders who had initially said negative things to the Leviathan's report were quickly being shouted down by the masses of caffeine starved individuals. Apparently, the combination of Xander's Spark laden speech had combined with the lack of readily available caffeine to swamp the world's markets and bureaucracies. The demand for the world's officials and leaders to do something was at an all time high, a high that was only matched by the lowest production of activity in recent history as the very bureaucrats who were responsible for pushing through the change in legislation were falling asleep on the job. Throughout the night the news was rolling in regarding the drop in the economic markets as the true fuel of industry, caffeine, was cut off.

First there was a run on the grocery markets for the remaining Sparkbucks coffee, but when the supply was tapped out people turned to other remedies. This is when the full extent of the calamity struck as Xander had created Operation Cold Turkey with the goal of ceasing all caffeine production in the world.

On top of the fact that Xander's coffee company had cornered the coffee market and bought up ninety eight percent of the world's coffee bean supply, mysterious accidents happened at the manufacturing and packaging plants of the world's largest soda pop factories, tea leaf processors, and rival coffee producers; shutting off power or key machines which were needed to increase cola production. On top of that, transportation of the needed carbonic acid for Coca-Cola and other main ingredients for caffeinated beverages was delayed or canceled when it was found that the trucks that were needed to move the industrial products were unavailable, broken down, or suddenly out of gas in the middle of nowhere. It was the perfect storm that just 'happened' to strike the world just when Operation Cold Turkey was taking effect.

The impact was breath taking, as the gross national product of every country in the world took a hit as its workers couldn't get themselves to wake up.

Xander couldn't have done it by himself, not at all. Xander had only created the basic structure of the plan and his minions had taken it upon themselves to run it to the full extreme that it was currently. In fact, had Xander been concentrating on just what chaos he had reaped in the world he would have been a bit horrified, but that's why Igor didn't hassle his Master with the minutia necessary to the fulfillment of the Heterodyne's goals. A true Master Minion just followed out his Master's orders to the nth degree and just went overboard when the master didn't put any limits on what they wanted. Basically, Xander should have been very specific when he commanded the initiation of Operation Cold Turkey, but what Xander didn't know could hurt the world.

Either way, the minions and Romanian citizens under Xander's leadership were taking up a good portion of the burden of running the country and Xander's endeavors. The trained diplomats, who had enough political knowledge and education uploaded into them to make Machiavelli run in fear, were dealing with the United Nations and the communications with the world's leaders.

At the same time as the diplomats were going about their work in the official channels, the international intelligence network Xander had set up fed Xander's diplomats and military commanders the inside scoop on the behind the scenes; it was amazing what information a politician was willing to give up for the offer of a hot cup of coffee. While the world outside of Xander's Montana Valley and European countries went seemingly insane, things in Xander's Empire were humming right along.

Things in Kasnia were moving smoothly, the doctors were setting up clinics and healing the injured and sick while Xander received another half a million loyal Jägers who had formerly been the infirmed and elderly too old or feeble for Xander's nano-clank injections to heal. At the same time that the healing was going on, Xander's little clanks and nano-clank swarms were spreading throughout the country; harvesting the hazards left over from the decades' long war and remaking the infrastructure of Kasnia to help further the goals of industrial growth. The same recycling and anti-pollution technology that was now present in Romania was extended into Kasnia, and the small country was connected through multiple redundant power lines to Xander's main power plants.

The work of educating, feeding, and growing Kasnia to match the affluence of Romania was carried out by Xander's minions and already trained Romanian subjects; thus leaving Xander time to deal with the Kalderish and tidying up things so that Xander could take a break from all the bloodshed and empire management.

'_Hopefully I can take a break after this and that Lady luck and her friend Murphy won't mess with me for a while._' Xander thought to he finished putting on his Hawaiian shirt and mentally called for a portal to open in his room. _'Just have to deal with a couple of things first, and if my idea works, I can knock a couple of birds out of the sky with one stone; or a lot of birds and one corporate executive._' Xander finished thinking, a brief evil smile flashing across his face before it turned into just a friendly one. It had been too long since Xander had a chance to just hang out with Alec.

"How are things going Alec?" Xander questioned as he finished teleporting into one of the hollowed out mountain ecosystems; this one being a large forested region similar to the giant redwood forests of northern California.

Alec Holland, the green yet now very human looking 'Swamp Thing,' turned towards where Xander had just appeared and smiled before standing up and brushing his leather work pants off; the dirt on Alec's pants being absorbed by the mixture of plant matter and nano-clanks that made up the Swamp Thing's human looking body.

"Hey Xander. It's going well. How's do you like what I've done with the place?" Alec replied in greeting while gesturing with a bare green arm to point around them at the small clearing with the towering trees ringing it. Alec was barefooted and wasn't wearing a shirt, preferring to let the sunlight hit his upper body for purposes of photosynthesis while his feet gathered nutrients from the rich dirt underneath. After all, it wasn't like he could really get cold given the nature of what made up the elemental's body.

Xander looked around the clearing, noticing the thick fern and moss growth on the lower levels of the ground and the towering trees around them. It reminded Xander of something out of the movie Jurassic Park or the massive redwood forests that he had read about in school back in Sunnydale.

Turning to Alec Xander nodded along to his statement, "Looks pretty good Alec, it's amazing how you've been able to get it to grow to a point of an old growth forest in such a short period of time. What are these trees, redwoods?" Xander mentioned as he walked up to one of the trees and examined the bark of it.

Alec's smile got larger at the statement, "Nope." The nature elemental said with a smirk, "You're looking at some of the famous Cedars of Lebanon brought back into existence." Alec quipped before waving for Xander to follow him. "If you think these are impressive, come on over through here." The Swamp 'Man' stated.

Xander followed Alec's lead through a gap in the trees and walked for a few minutes, just enjoying the sounds of nature as birds chirped and insects hummed in the hidden ecosystem beneath the mountain. Finally after a little over a minute of walking through the large cedar trees Xander came upon a gigantic trunk, large enough to fit a house or two inside it if it were to be hollowed out.

Xander's jaw dropped, and he gazed up, and up, and up before the giant trunk disappeared above the canopy of cedar trees. Stunned, Xander turned to Alec, "Dear god man, what the hell is this?"

Alec just smirked before answering smugly. "Well, with so much room in the center of the hollowed out dome I didn't think it was worth wasting the space, so I worked with the genes of the trees to find their ancient ancestors." Alec said as he walked up and patted the sturdy trunk of the gigantic tree.

Turning back to look at Xander, Alec continued, "This my friend is the great granddaddy of the forest, the type of giant trees that would have been around if the dinosaurs and all life a million years ago hadn't been pretty much destroyed by that giant asteroid. This guy has about another thirty brothers and sisters in the forest, and frankly Xander I owe it all to you." The former Swamp Thing said with a smile before walking back to join Xander in staring up at the huge tree. "I always wanted to help bring back some of the great things that were lost, but I would never have gotten the chance if I tried to do this out in the open. Somebody would have cut it down or tried to destroy it just because." Alec told Xander.

Xander was simply agog at the big trees, but then a goofy smile came across his face. "That would make an awesome tree house." Xander joked, "Only thing it's missing are a bunch of Ewoks." He finished.

Alec scrunched up his eyebrows and looked at the ground for a second before back at the tree, then turned to Xander. "What's an Ewok?" The nature elemental asked.

Xander turned to look at Alec quizzically, "Ewok, you know. Small fury creature that lives in a tree?" Xander stated, the complete look of utter confusion greeting him from Alec's face.

Xander turned away from the tree to look completely face Alec, "Dude, I know you lived in a swamp, but surely you know about Ewoks, Star Wars… the movie Star Wars?" Xander questioned, his face confused that Alec didn't recognize the movie.

Alec continued to look puzzled at Xander. "Nope, no clue."

"But the movies came out in the 70's and early 80's. Surely you didn't miss out on the classic movies did you?" Xander asked, a bit horrified.

"Sorry Xander, I have no clue what you're talking about." Alec replied with a shake of his head.

Xander sighed, "Ok, well that's weird. I'll have to ask somebody to see if we have copies of the movies back at the castle. Perhaps we can have a guys night, drink caffeinated beverages, eat popcorn and watch the movies." Xander finished with a shrug before remembering why he had originally come looking for Alec.

"Oh hey, not to jump right back into business, but I was talking with the Kalderish Clan about getting some justice against the man who was primarily responsible for the invasion and the death of those civilians. Part of that plan requires making some living molecules that could work hand in hand with my nano-clanks, do you think you could help out with that?" Xander questioned, and then went on to explain a bit more, "I've got a bunch of scientists working on it for a couple of plans of mine, but it would be a great help if you could give it a jumpstart or work a bit of your nature mojo."

Alec shrugged before replying, "Sure, I don't see why not. Are you still having that dinner tonight that Tara sent me an invitation to? Something about plans and going forward or whatnot?"

Xander smiled and nodded, "Yep. Pizza party in the palace… or whatever food they cook." Xander quipped before adding, "Really though, the head of the Kalderish Clan brought up some good ideas, and I wanted all of my closest friends there to talk through what we should do next. It's been brought to my attention that I've been flying by the seat of my pants a bit too much and that I'm getting a bit unbalanced." Xander mentioned the last part while looking away and rubbing the back of his neck.

Alec smirked, "What do you mean by 'getting?' My friend, your sanity ship left the port a long time ago." The more jovial version of the Swamp Thing stated, laughing at his friend.

Xander turned a mock hurt look at Alec, "Hey! I'm not crazy." Xander responded, only to have Alec raise an eyebrow at Xander along with a smirk.

"Ok, so maybe the voices in my head and the weird stuff I come up with aren't of the sane, but at least nobody gets bored around me." Xander stated with a smirk and a twinkle in his eye.

"Ha!" Alec laughed, "That's for sure." Alec said slapping Xander on the back before turning to move back towards the trees, "I'll see you tonight. Send me the details of which lab they are working on the experiments and I'll stop by tomorrow." The Swamp Thing stated, before point a hand at the ground and raising it, causing a new fern to sprout from the base of a tree and then quickly grow into a fully formed plant that rose to Xander's shoulders. With that, Alec Holland, the Swamp 'Man' waved and disappeared into the trees.

Xander took a look around at the clearing and enjoyed the peaceful sounds of the forest that returned as soon as Xander and Alec had stopped speaking. Taking a deep breath, Xander let it out slowly, just enjoying the fresh smell of the earth, trees and plants around him.

'_This is really nice and peaceful._' Xander thought to himself as he enjoyed the moment of stillness. _'Maybe there is something to this idea of taking a break from the hustle and bustle and getting away from this empire management thing for a while._' Xander pondered.

'_Hey! Just so long as you don't take a break from working on that Harem._' A little voice quipped in the back of Xander's head. _'I'm warning you, get working on that Harem or you'll be waking up drooling on top of a new doomsday weapon!' _The voice of Xander's libido threatened.

'_Hey, quiet from the peanut gallery.'_ Xander snarked back at himself before thinking. _'God I have got to get laid, I'm getting so pent up that my own subconscious is threatening me. Alec was right, I am insane.'_

'_Yeah wise guy, see, ya get us some girls and nobody gets hurt… yeah. Capiche?'_ The voice of a 1920's mobster said in the back of Xander's head. Xander just shook his head in reply, trying to get the few screws loose in his head to shut up.

Xander palmed his face.

"God I need a vacation." Xander said to himself, and then stepped into a transporter portal.

* * *

Xander exited the portal into one of the rooms where the Gypsies were examining some of the magical artifacts that Xander had 'acquired' when he took over Dracula's castle and cleaned out Arcane Manor.

Xander stepped out of the portal and immediately yelled a greeting, "Hey there, how's it going AHHHH!" Xander ended up dodging as a bright blue solid beam of energy that shot through where his head had just been.

Xander turned to watch where the beam had struck and saw that the wall behind him had immediately frosted over in ice. Turning around wide eyed, Xander looked to where Magda was examining a golden rod stuck in a blue crystalline box.

Magda just looked at Xander blank faced before turning around to discuss with the lab tech who was taking notes and two other gypsies that had been helping her, "As I was saying, as long as nothing comes along to startle us, this device can be moved, but once discharged it freezes itself to the ground at its location and will continue to channel the forces of deep winter." With that Magda and the techs took a step back from the device as another beam of blue magic zapped another wall, icing over that wall as well. The party of researchers all turned to look at Xander.

Xander looked at them, a bit of a blush coming to his cheeks and he shrugged and held his hands palms up, "Um… oops?" Xander smiled, and the tech and gypsies all just smirked at him.

Xander, the tech, and the gypsies watched as the artifact went about systematically freezing the walls and ceiling of the room before the crystal at its base started leaking ice along the floor. A second beam hit the ceiling and snow started to precipitate and fall around the room.

Xander just shook his head before stating, "Well, we could always use a perpetually cold room to test out some of our gear. Just close it up and we'll deal with this later. Magda, could you come with me, we need to chat about some of those preparations and thinking ahead that you suggested; not to mention that little bit of revenge we are planning." Xander completed with his patented 'I'm-planning-something-dastardly' smile.

The tech bowed to Xander, seeing as the tech was actually a minion from New Mechanicsburg, while the two gypsies who Xander didn't know left the room with the tech. Magda carefully walked over to Xander so as not to slide on the icy floor.

"Does your plan look like it will work?" Magda asked as she came to Xander's side. Xander gave the old woman his elbow to hold, and signaled for a portal to open up to another part of the Castle.

"Yes, I just spoke with Alec and he thinks he can basically work with his power to help us make the form that we need. I thought about using a biological construct, but don't think we would have the control over it we need to get what we want done." Xander replied as he escorted Magda through the portal and into a room of computers and screens that were being 'manned' by Tara, Dora, and Janna Kalderish.

"Hello ladies." Xander greeted with a smile before continuing to explain to Magda, "As I was saying Magda, we already have the building blocks we need from helping Alec create his human form and functioning body. Now, if we can just take that first step and expand on it with a combination of Alec's powers and my science we should be ready to strike back at Luthor." Xander smirked before leading Magda to a chair.

Madga nodded in understanding and thanked Xander for the escort before Xander turned and faced the giant screen that took up one wall of the room. Four holographic computer stations sat in front of the main screen. The back of the room was one giant supercomputer that spanned the length of the room and actually took up the room directly behind this one as well. Given the nature of Xander's technology and ability to shrink technology, which meant this was one 'kick ass and take names' computer.

"Good morning Janna, Tara, Dora, how are you lovely ladies today?" Xander asked with a debonair smile.

The ladies all smirked at each other before turning back to Xander. "Good morning Xander/Master." They chorused, Janna referring to Xander by name but Tara and Dora chiming in with Xander's title.

A little trickle of fear quivered up Xander's spine at the smiles that the three young ladies were giving Xander. But Xander merely smiled back, _'Never understood women before, won't be able to start now.'_ Xander thought to himself.

Xander's smile merged into a determined look and with it he started pacing back and forth. A moment passed as the women in the room watched Xander pace back and forth before Xander began to speak.

"I've done a lot of thinking and self debate on what Elder Woman Kalderish stated regarding planning ahead, hence the reason we are all here." Xander stated, looking to the side and nodding to Magda when he mentioned her name. "What we are going to spend the day doing is starting to dig into all of the knowledge that I have of this world and start making some contingency plans." Xander explained as he reached the apex of his trodden path and turned to walk the other direction.

"We are just waiting for Igor…" Xander began, but as soon as he mentioned it a portal opened and Igor sedately stepped into the room and nodded to Xander before Igor took a seat next to Magda.

"Good, as I was saying, we are going to start discussing what I know about this world and figure out where to go from here so that we don't suffer like we did yesterday." Xander mentioned, giving a sorry look to Magda and Janna Kalderish which received understanding silent nods in return.

Xander continued to pace back and forth, the other people in the room looking like they were watching a tennis match as they followed his path from one side of the room and back to the other.

Finally Xander stopped in the middle of the room and addressed those gathered. "First things first, I don't know which universe of what I knew as DC Comics and cartoons this is. The reason I've chosen you all to help is that of all of the people who I work with and care for, you are the only ones besides Alec who know who I am and where I come from. That said, we need information and we need to compile what information I have in my head to see what we can plan in advance for or at least have a contingency mapped out before we are hit with another crisis." Xander explained, speaking while gesturing with his hands to really drill his point home.

The others in the room nodded along in understanding to Xander's points.

Xander turned slightly to focus on his main minion, "Igor, do you know if Bob has gotten RedTree ready for launch?"

Rather than Igor answering, Bob interjected, "Xander, RedTree is ready. All you have to do is wake her up and get her going and we should be good."

Xander nodded in reply, knowing that Bob was monitoring the room. Xander then turned and stuck his hand on an interface panel that was on the large supercomputer behind him.

"YAAAaawwwnnn, smack smack." The sounds of a teenage girl waking up and yawning came over the speakers as the screen in the front of the room flashed and the image of a red headed girl's head appeared; the face, hair and eyes were made from streams of colored ones and zeros that flickered down the screen to create a computerized face of Xander's friend Willow.

Xander's smile grew large across his face, "Good morning Red, did you have a good nap?" Xander questioned.

The image on the screen blinked her eyes several times and seemed to look around the room before focusing on Xander, "Xander! It's good to see you. How are you doing today?" The voice of Willow came out of the speakers around the room.

"Good Red. You ready to do an imitation of Daedalus from Deus Ex and take over the electronic information flow of the world?" Xander smirked as he looked up at the computerized image of his friend Willow. Xander had formed the personality off of Willow, as in Xander's book Willow was the hacker extraordinaire. Given the resources that Xander had put into RedTree, she would by far be the fastest and most powerful computer in the world and pretty much able to hack into any system that wasn't of alien design; at least if that system was connected to a phone line or the internet.

Red gave a big grin before saying, "Already doing it. I should be into the Batcomputer within the next couple minutes and I'm already hacked into Cadmus's mainframe. Those idiots really should learn to have stand alone systems for this type of stuff. Top secret information my tushy." Red snipped before grinning at Xander.

Xander smiled with his hand still on the computer interface. "That's my girl! Go get em Red." Xander quipped before turning his head to address the girls sitting before their computers. "Janna, I'm putting you in charge of delving into the information on Lexcorp and Lex Luthor. Show me the money Janna." Xander smiled a bloodthirsty smile that was mirrored by Janna and Magda.

Xander then turned to address Tara and Dora, "And my two lovely ladies, I'll be uploading my knowledge here in a second, and I want you to cross reference what has happened in this world with what information I put into the system."

Both Tara and Dora nodded before turning around and bringing up databases of world events pulled directly from government files from around the world as well as the electronic databases and online repositories of the Daily Planet, GNN, and other major news sources around the world. Information was pulled from University servers from around the world as well as from the networks of internet providers; and soon a timeline of events was being populated that flowed off of Tara's screen and onto Dora's as they arranged the events that had happened in the world, dating back to B.C. times.

Xander turned back to face the supercomputer and closed his eyes, opening his mind's knowledge to be copied into RedTree. In that instant of communing with the mind of RedTree, Xander had a flash back memory of times gone by when Willow had helped Xander with math or science homework.

Back then in Sunnydale, before Halloween had hit Xander with the Spark of genius, Xander had felt that he was a small fry compared to the smarts of Willow. In that instant of communing with RedTree, Xander felt almost the same as back then, for as his memories of comic books, Batman cartoons, Justice League Unlimited, and other DC comic related knowledge flowed from his mind and into the databanks of RedTree he felt the sheer size and mass of knowledge that RedTree was sorting through as she examined the world's internet, email, and digital communications and sifted through it for the kernels of information that would help Xander succeed. It took a second, and then all of Xander's comic book and cartoon knowledge was completely copied over to the computer system.

Xander opened his eyes and looked up at the big screen.

"Computing, give me a second Xander and I'll have it up for you." Red said with a smile before biting her digital lip in concentration. A second later the massive image of Willow's digital head shrunk to take up a small corner of the large screen and a dateline sprawled up on the screen.

Xander stared up at the screen and realized that he wasn't in any one universe of DC comics that he recognized.

"Hmmm, there's the invasion of those aliens that led to the creation of the Justice League." Xander stated as he walked closer to the screen and read off what he was seeing.

"Thangarians haven't invaded yet there are a lot more heroes in the league already." Xander said as he mentally ordered his Nano-clanks to transmit commands to the computers around him, ordering the screen to briefly flash focus in on specific instances in the history of this world.

"Already knew about the taking of Kahndaq by Black Adam… Natural catastrophes look to be the same as my home world plus a few." Xander said as he stroked his chin in thought. The screen focused out again and then in on some of the details regarding Superman.

"Here's where Darkseid brainwashed Superman into invading the world, and I see from the Cadmus database that it's when they started planning for ways to combat the Justice League… Wow, Dr. Amanda Waller is a certifiable crackpot if she thinks some of these are a good idea to unleash on the world. Really, Super-Nazi serum? Are she and the General Wade Eiling nuts? Damn-it." Xander casually stated as he continued to read.

"Xander! Language." RedTree snapped.

Xander smirked a bit chagrinly and shrugged, "Sorry Red. Anyway, I'm seeing here that Superman has not faced Doomsday yet but it says here that LexCorp is slated to dig deeper at that alien archeology site, so we really need to be ready for that. Don't want to go through all that crap with the death of Superman again, those comic books were just plain confusing for a while there and not to mention the whole mongul thing." Xander muttered before causing the screen to focus back out again.

"Teen Titans look to be battling forces that I recognize as being from the HIVE and I think I could help Cyborg out a bit and still not give away a bunch of our tech." Xander casually replied as he focused in on Jump City in California and the details surrounding the villains located there.

"But see here." Xander stated pointing to Gotham, "Here is another change from what I'm used to being in any one universe. See where the information from the Batcomputer is stating that Ra's al Ghul tried to destroy Gotham with some Waynetech super weapon and diffused hallucinogenic in the water supply? That was the plot for a movie that was going to come out in my world and not in any of the traditional comic books or cartoons, but others of these things happened just as if they were strait from one of the cartoons or a comic book." Xander continued, now frowning.

"DAMNIT!" Xander spat in frustration before cringing and quickly apologizing to the image of Red that was frowning at Xander's use of curse words.

"Sorry about that, it's just that this dimension seems to pick and chose or vary from one DC universe to another, taking a bit from one before something that happened in another universe happens. Shi-oot…" Xander quickly changed his curse word to a milder phrase when he saw the image of Red give him the 'determined' face.

"Ah, what I meant was that it looks like we are going to have to pull a Batman and create a contingency for everything we could think of from Darkseid's invasion, to look here, Supergirl isn't here yet and I don't know if she will be in this universe or not." Xander stated, pointing things out on the timeline before mentally calling up a map of the world that was being created by Xander's miniature clanks and the information being funneled in from Xander's Sparkbucks intelligence centers.

"There in the Bermuda triangle." Xander pointed to a position. "Send up an Nth metal infused clank into space above that, I want a view of Themyscira." Xander quipped, and a minute later the clank was in geosynchronous orbit floating over the Bermuda triangle.

A picture popped up on the screen of an island that appeared out of the sea where none had been scene before. "Zoom in please." Xander commanded, and the image zoomed in until the image of Greek pillars, temples and arenas were in view along with little ant sized Amazons.

Again, Xander experienced an instance when he should have been more specific as the image continued to focus in until he was looking into the bathing pool of the palace, and a very naked Queen Hippolyta was seen to be bathing and dripping with water as she pulled herself out of the bathing pool.

Xander's face went red and his blood pressure shot up. "Zoom out! Zoom out!" Xander squeaked.

Fortunately the image quickly panned back out to show the world view, but the girls and Magda all turned and smirked at Xander while Igor raised an eyebrow; there may have been a hint of a smile on the master minion's face as well.

"Ahem, ok um." Xander said, looking down from the screen for a second and rubbing his neck. "Uh, where was I." Xander questioned when looking up at the screen and quickly changing the subject.

"Let's look up at the north pole, I want ground penetrating radar bouncing off of the ice, let me know if we get any weird feedback." Xander ordered, and the girls all turned their smirking looks silently back to their computer consoles and the screen at the front of the room.

The image of almost a sonar ping was rendered on the map and at one spot it was seen to relay that the ground was flat when the image was telling Xander that there was an visible picture of a hill portrayed to the eyes of his satellite clanks.

"There!" Xander smirked and pointed to the screen, "That's Superman's Fortress of Solitude." Xander stated. "Mark that, and we will see about paying a visit sometime in the future." Xander finished, a mad gleam coming to his eyes as he thought of all the science he could 'borrow' from the Kryptonian technology that was hidden in the fortress; not to mention the DNA samples he could get from Superman's zoo.

'_Mental note, bring lots of dog treats incase I run into Krypto._' Xander thought for a second before focusing back on the screen.

Quickly pointing out things on the map Xander stated, "There are a ton of cities that I'm not familiar with from my world, the whole coast of California is changed." Xander gestured towards the west coast of the United States and trying to locate where Sunnydale was, but noticing Coast City taking up a section near where Sunnydale should have been.

"The sensor tech is picking up several large dome like protrusions on the bottom of the Ocean here near the trench and underwater mountains in the middle of the Atlantic ocean, and I'm seeing some ruined cities here in the Sahara Desert as well as here in Greenland and some other places in Africa." Xander said pointing around the map a bit more at other places. "I know Gorilla City should be in the middle of the Congo if it exists in this world." Xander stated before Dora interjected.

"Xander, I'm seeing instances of Gorilla Grodd tangling with the Justice League, so it's probably safe to assume Gorilla City does exist." The blonde beauty stated with a smile at Xander.

Xander smiled at Dora, "Good point Dora. Nice job cutie." He stated, and watched as the smiling Dora shivered and then smiled back up at Xander adoringly and with a bit of a blush on her face.

'_Thank you Lady Luck._' Xander silently stated, right before a little voice in the back of his head started chanting, _'Harem, Harem Harem!'_

Xander smiled and turned his attention towards Asia and the Middle East. "Looks like Qurac is over here, and Bialya." Xander stated before turning a quizzical look to Igor.

"Igor, has the Queen Bee Zazzala and her slaver drones attacked earth yet? We don't want an incident like the 'Other' happening here in this universe like it did in the Heterodynes' main dimension." Xander questioned.

Igor looked down at his data pad before answering Xander, "No sir, there has not been an incursion of anything like slaver wasps or an insect queen like the Other in this world. Shall I prepare a contingency plan?" The chief minion responded a dark grin starting to grow over the minions face.

Xander's evil smile matched his minion's, "Absolutely, let Da Boy'z know that they might get some slaver wasp pie after all." Xander replied, and his minion nodded in agreement.

Xander then turned back to the map and focused it in on India, Pakistan, China and the Tibetan plateau.

"There." Magda interrupted, "My vision tells me that you must go there on your journey." She stated and pointed to a place high in the mountains on the border between the People's Republic of China and Nepal.

Xander stared at the point on the map quizzically and focused it in only to find that there was nothing there but snow and mountain peaks. "Ping it with the sensors and put an Nth metal satellite over it." Xander ordered, thinking that maybe the nth metal based sensors were needed to pick up something hidden by magic.

A moment later a digital representation of the 'ping' was seen to ripple across the location as shown on Xander's map, yet still nothing appeared.

"Hmmm, Well I don't really know what is there but I have a few ideas regarding some lost cities of Shangri-la or something similar, but I guess I'll just have to go there." Xander said with a shrug and turned to Magda.

"Bunică Kalderish, what did your vision state about this place?" Xander questioned with a raised eyebrow as he crossed his arms across his chest to listen.

Magda Kalderish, Elder of Clan Kalderish seemed to stare through the image of the map on the screen before slowly stating, "You will leave on your journey tomorrow, and you will go alone. You will walk or run the first portion, and you will know when it is time to fly or travel." The Old woman said before turning her white eyes to Xander. "Other than that I cannot tell, but I do know that you will be better off for the growth of the travel." Magda finished with a slight gesture of her hand to suggest that the rest was up to Xander.

Xander was quiet and uncrossed one of his arms to stroke his chin in thinking before taking a big sigh.

"Ok, I hate this fate or prophesy crap, but I'll take your words under advisement." Xander said before taking a big breath and letting it out as plans and counter plans went through his head. "I'll see if I can leave tomorrow afternoon, but first we will finish the contingency plans and then its dinner. Following that its movie night with popcorn, caffeine and Star Wars." Xander finished, a smile growing across his face at the last part.

Everybody in the room stared back at Xander quizzically, finally Janna raised a question. "What's Star Wars?" She asked.

Xander stared at her and furrowed his brows. "What, you can't tell me that you all don't know about Star Wars?" He stated before looking around at the still befuddled looks that greeted him.

"Wait, you all didn't recognize the armor for the Dark Troopers as being from Star Wars?" Xander said looking around at his adopted family from this new universe, but only got blank looks.

"Ewoks? Jedi's? Light sabers?" Xander questioned, and Xander's audience all looked at each other before shaking their heads in the negative. Even Red looked with confusion at Xander from her screen before replying.

"Xander, there is no such thing as Star Wars in this world, unless you are speaking about an eighties military project by the United State's President Regan that didn't do anything but cause the Soviets to sink money into countering a non-existent missile shield program?" The computerized voice of Willow answered.

Xander looked stunned, but then a creepy look came across his face. "Heh heh, no Star Wars? No George Lucas in this universe… bwa ha ha ha. BWA HA HA HA HA! WA HA HA HA HA!" Xander cackled madly and a crazy gleam came to his eye as an insane smile split Xander's face.

"Bob!" Xander yelled, "Grab the focusing ruby from the armor and get me a miniature sun the size of a marble and the miniaturized dyson sphere designs while you're at it! Bwa Ha ha ha ha ha." Xander ordered before storming towards the door of the room and disappearing out it.

Xander's friends all stared at each other and their raised eyebrows seemed to be communicating the unspoken message of "Xander will be Xander."

Suddenly Xander ducked his head back into the room, the mad gleam still in his eye, "Oh, sorry about that. If you wouldn't mind continuing with the contingency plans, that would be great. Steal Batman's for starters and add on from there." Xander stated with his big smile still on his face.

"Red, feel free to leave a message for Batman that the Grey Knight told him to erase the plans and then delete them from his computer, I'm off to build a light saber. WA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Xander finished with a cackle, and his head disappeared out the door.

With that the sound of Xander's chilling laughter echoed throughout the castle, and Igor sent out orders for spare parts and for the medical center to stay on alert.

Igor didn't know what this 'light saber' was, but something told the Chief Minion that the castle would be in need of some repairs sometime soon.

* * *

**AN: Another chapter down, what fun. Xander gets a light saber, Wa ha ha ha ha. Um, sorry about that, the madness is contageous. Well, I hope you enjoyed it, let me know your thoughts.**

**Poll still open: I need ideas for places for Xander to wander around the world, can be a real city in our universe, the Sunnydale verse or a place that only exists in the DC universes. Look at my google map located on my ffnet profile for starter ideas or just send me a review or private message. Thanks!**


	26. Chapter 26: A SemiHero's Journey Begins

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: Thanks for all the ideas, I think I've got it figured out what I want to do now. It's just going to take some research on my part to get it fleshed out. Something I find a bit humorous is when people step over the line from suggesting something to me and start telling me they know something is going to happen in the story. Just an FYI, but if you do that then chances are you are wrong or I'll make you wrong just to be contrary. I'm much crazier than you, and even if your level of insanity matches mine I'm sure my voices are different than yours. That's my version of 'My crazy voices can beat up your crazy voices, so there! Ptttttt!' With that zaniness out of the way, on with the show. Cheers!**

**AN: Small note on grammar. A reader of mine, from the UK, told me it was a pet peeve that I was putting two spaces after the period/hard-stop rather than one. I informed him that as an American attorney, we put two spaces after periods and one after commas as a common practice to denote the difference. Thought I would pass that on incase it was your pet peeve as well.**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 26: A Semi-Hero's Journey Begins**

"My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes." ~Douglas Adams

The distinctive 'snap' 'hiss' and 'thrum' sounds of a light saber igniting was followed by the sound of Xander's yell of success. "Yes! It works. WA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Xander yelled in joy while whipping the red colored blade around him to the right and to the left.

It hummed to the right; it hummed to the left, then back to the right where it accidentally carved off the corner of the work bench that Xander had been working at.

"Uh, oops." Xander stated, but even the accidental carving through the solid steel workbench couldn't pry the big smile off Xander's face.

It had taken an hour or two, and there had been several accidents; as the scarred and holed metal walls of the lab clearly showed. However not even carving through a wall could stop the joy of the geek-gasm that Xander was experiencing; his happy giggles were interrupted by the occasional mad chortle.

The walls of the workshop were covered in carbon scoring and pitted by holes, and even as he whipped his blade back and forth he took a mental note, _'Do not look into the aperture of the blade when igniting.'_ Xander reminded himself, after having a near miss earlier. _'It's all fun and games until somebody stabs themselves in the brain.'_ He finished reminding himself, but even the possibility of dreadful bodily injury couldn't get Xander to stop giggling as he cut the air with the light saber and got used to spinning it around himself without losing an arm.

Alec walked into the room through the door that was behind Xander and stared as Xander proceeded to carve chunks of the work table into scrap with the red glowing blade of the light saber.

"Uh, Xander, it's time for dinner." The nature elemental mentioned; the former Swamp Thing was still not really one hundred percent comfortable with all of Xander's technological gadgets and gizmos, not after living in a swamp for the last ten years.

Xander turned to look at Alec Holland, and couldn't help but show off his new blade. "It works Alec! I actually got it to work." Xander exclaimed before devolving into geek babble. "Yeah sure it was a problem getting the light beam to taper enough to act like a blade rather than a blunt scorching weapon, and sure it wanted to just extend through the walls and straight on to infinity, but once again the Spark and Science triumphs over those pesky so called laws of nature. Wa Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Xander chortled, his head back, laughing towards the ceiling.

"Um yeah, that's um, great Xander. Now about dinner?" Alec started, making to turn and leave since he had delivered the message he had been asked to bring to Xander by the Xander's girls.

Xander held up his hand to stop Alec, "No No, wait, watch what I can do. I put nth metal nano-clanks in the handle, so that I can call it to my hand like the force, just watch." Xander said before tossing the still lit light saber towards a corner of the room.

It was only when the point of the still lit light saber impacted the ground and effectively drilled right through it to disappear through the floor that Xander realized that he might have made a mistake.

The hum sound disappeared into the ground, and Xander's eyes got large as he ran over towards the hole in the floor and looked down just as the handle of the blade disappeared into the room below. "Shit! Watch out below!" Xander yelled, before quickly calling a portal to bring him to the floor below.

Xander's portal opened up just in time for him to see the blade of the light saber singe through the backside of a tech that had been working at a chemistry hood under where the blade had disappeared. The shock of the injured person was enough to get Xander to miss his opportunity to grab the falling blade before it burned through the floor of the room there where in.

"AHHHHH!" Screamed the tech, who jumped up as his butt cheek was severed off.

"Ah, um, oops, um… I can fix that. Um, put some pressure on that." Xander said as he cringed, the sound of a muffled explosion then came from below.

"Uh sorry, but, uh, Got to go." Xander said as he stepped back into his portal to appear at the next level down.

Xander appeared only to see the tail end of the handle of the blade disappear through the floor again.

"Bugger!" Xander cursed before jumping back into the portal and appearing two floors down.

Stepping out of the portal Xander surveyed the ceiling, "Come to daddy, come to daddy… Ah ha! Got Ya!" Xander stated, waggling back and forth while waiting for the blade to come through the ceiling, ignored the sound of crashing glass from above, and then snapping his hand out to grab the handle of the saber as it finally appeared after burning through another floor of the castle.

"Whew, that was a close one." Xander said before clicking off the light saber and disappearing in a portal and reappearing in the room where he had left Alec.

"You were saying?" Alec stated, a smile creeping across the green man's face as he saw Xander enter with the turned off light saber.

"Uh yeah, anyway." Xander stated a bit chagrined and not so lost in his episode of mad genius any more. "Hey Bob, sorry about the walls and floor. I'll get those fixed, and could you please send a medical team to the floor beneath us; we seemed to have had a little accident."

Bob didn't answer, and Xander figured that the castle was a bit miffed about the damage. However Alec took the opportunity to tease Xander.

"Sure Xander, whatever you say, little accident all worked out and ready to go to dinner now?" Alec joked with Xander.

Xander looked a bit chagrined, but ended up just shrugging before rolling his light saber across the room, and then mentally contacting it with the nano-clanks in his mind.

The light saber handle rattled for a second on the floor, until it shot through the air and across the room to where it slapped right into Xander's outstretched hand. A quick mental command and the light saber was a blaze of red light that Xander then used his super speed to wield around him until it looked like a buzz saw was in Xander's hand. Xander ended it with a quick flip in the air over his spinning blade, using his flying powers and strength to propel him in an acrobatic move similar to what a Jedi would use, before flicking the switch to deactivate the blade.

Xander just smiled at Alec, "Now I'm finished." Xander stated with a smirk before walking back to one of the workbenches and attaching the light saber to what appeared to be a plain leather backpack.

"Show off. Are you ready to go to dinner now?" Alec said as he shook his head at Xander playing around with what was no doubt a deadly weapon.

"Yep, off to dinner we go." Xander said with a goofy grin as he threw the backpack over one shoulder and walked with Alec out the door.

"It's really not as hard as it looks." Xander explained what he had just done with the blade. "When I'm going that fast, it's like everything slows down until it's not moving and I can just sort of see the vectors and force allotments to use in order to get my hand and the blade to go where I want it." Xander stated as they moved through the hallways towards a stairway that lead up to the higher levels in the castle.

"I took a video of me moving with just the handle of a mop as an example to see what it would look like with the light saber, and if I don't let my mind and eyes slow the action down, I know it looks like a blur." Xander went on to explain, making hand gestures to show how slow the spinning appeared to his eyes when Xander got into that mode of movement.

Alec and Xander passed into a secret passage that was halfway up the stairway, and then entered an elevator that quickly shot to a floor near the top of the fortress.

"I really need to get a handle on it, but it seems that maybe I am doing the faster than a speeding bullet thing." Xander continued to expound on his learning to use his skills.

Xander shrugged as they walked out of the lift and down a hallway, and then around a corner. "I guess I'll just have to get out in the real world and experiment a bit with these abilities. Sure I could do it here at the castle, but I really don't want to break anything more." Xander stated.

"Ahem." The sound of Bob's voice echoed from around Xander and Alec as they walked down another long hallway.

"See? Bob would have a fit if I put more holes through his walls… well more walls than what is normal with all of our experiments." Xander quipped with a smirk on his face.

Alec just smiled back at his younger friend and shook his head at the normal insanity that surrounded Xander.

With that, the two pushed through the large intricately forged black metal double doors that opened up into the dining room.

Xander and Alec walked into a large dining room that had a long table running down the middle of it. For now the other members of Xander's little adopted family were all gathered at one end of the table, with the head of table open for Xander to sit at while Alec had a seat on the other side from Igor.

"Good evening Ladies, and Igor. Have we had a productive day today?" Xander quipped with a smile on his face.

The three younger ladies all smiled at each other again before turning a bit of a predatory smirk at Xander, and again he felt a bit of a trickle of cold run down his spine. Even Magda had a bit of a quirk to her lips, yet Igor was stoic faced as usual.

A little voice in the back of Xander's head started to whisper '_Danger! Danger Will Robinson, Danger!'_ But Xander just ignored it and discounted the thought as he would never understand women. He just smiled and set himself down in the head table.

As Xander sat flashes of light appeared over the table, and platters of meats, vegetables, rice, potatoes and bread appeared along with glasses and bottles of red wine. But before anybody could begin to dig into the food Xander held up his hand which caught the attention of the other's at the table.

"Before we begin, I just wanted to say thank you." Xander looked around at each person at the table in the eyes, "Thank you for helping me, and for helping us all to succeed. I couldn't do it without you." Xander stated with a sincere smile. The girls all smiled at Xander and then at each other, and Magda and Igor merely nodded in understanding.

With that Xander waved his hand at the food in a silent gesture for them to begin eating and then reached for the serving fork on a platter of prime rib that was in front of him before offering to hold the platter for Janna who was seated on Xander's left.

Janna's face lit up in a large smile and she replied, "Thank you Xander." But the way she said it made it come across as if she was thanking Xander for more than just holding a plate of meat for her.

Xander quirked an eyebrow up, "Um, your welcome." Xander stated, but just shook his head when Janna, Tara and Dora had all giggled.

'_Again, I'll never understand women._' Xander thought before turning to look at Igor and Magda seated with Alec on his right hand side.

"How did the plans go? How much more do we have to go?" Xander questioned as he began to eat his meal.

"We have completed contingency plans ranging the gambit from Alien Abduction and Invasion through how to deal with Zatanna Zatarra. In fact many of our base plans already had a general outline for us to use based on Batman's contingency planning. We found it interesting that a majority of Batman's plans were actually targeting other heroes rather than the villains." Igor reported before taking another mouthful of food.

Magda filled in further details, "Your biggest problem was that you have neglected to deal with magical avenues of defense." She explained while taking a sip of red wine to wet her throat before continuing, "Clan Kalderash is offering our services in return for your services in reviving our deceased and for continued protection of the Clans." Magda said, steering her white eyes to stare at Xander. "I have communicated with the remaining Elders of the Clans, and we request sanctuary in your Empire. I ask this of you as the Elder Woman and only surviving Elder of Clan Kalderash and as a representative of the King of the Gypsies." Magda stated solemnly, waiting for Xander's reply.

Xander blinked, and it was in that instant of a blink that his thoughts held a debate and came to the conclusion that here was a great opportunity. Realizing that this was an important moment with all at the table staring at him to reply, Xander finished swallowing his food and then wiped his mouth with his napkin before setting it back in his lap.

Xander waited a moment to get the right words before he addressed Magda, "Clan Kalderash and the rest of the Gypsy clans will always be welcome in any lands that I control, and will be protected from the prejudices that normally follow your people. That's a given no matter what, as I would offer that to anybody and still feel sorry for the loss of your people." Xander stated and Magda nodded in agreement.

Xander took a sip of the water before him to give him a second's pause to phrase his next statement properly. "That said, what are you offering? If anything given that you premised your statement by drawing my attention to our weakness where magical and possibly occult attacks could come our way."

Magda slowly smiled as she replied, "Very good Leviathan." She stated, using Xander's title rather than name, "We knew you were smart enough to lead us." She continued before answering Xander's question, "The Clans offer to add protections to your empire's borders, to your person, and around your castle to protect you from attack, infiltration and scrying. Normally these are skills which are not used heavily by the Clans as we are never in one place long enough to set them up, and the fact that it is often the government that ends up chasing us off has led us to where we rarely offer our protections to the land we are staying in." Magda stated while steepling her fingers together and giving Xander a slight nod before turning to look at Janna.

"Janna will stay at your Castle to be our spokesperson. I hope she realizes the seriousness of this position and doesn't just concentrate on the potential for… fun, that could happen here." Magda said, turning her serious look towards her granddaughter.

Janna blushed and looked down for a second before looking up at Magda again with an understanding look, "Yes Grandmother, it will be as you say." Janna replied with a slight bow of her head.

Magda then turned her attention to Xander, "We will also try to help you better connect with your friends and our Clan in your original dimension. It will take the proper setting of the moon, but we will see what can be done." She added to Xander, inspiring him to light up with a large smile.

Xander just looked back and forth between Magda and Janna with a smile before shrugging, "Great. Now that that's settled, and don't think I don't appreciate it, how did RedTree do today?" Xander asked before finishing off his ten ounces of prime rib and helping himself to a large boar leg; the boars had been introduced to one of Alec's forests.

Xander savored the flavor of the roasted boar, as he had found himself enjoying the flavor of the meat a lot more since he had joined with the Primal in his actions against the mercenaries. A slight flash of light in a chair on the other side of the silently eating Alec drew Xander's attention down the table.

A digital representation of a seated Willow appeared at the table, where she appeared to be munching on a plate of digital food; sans boar as she was Jewish after all.

"Everything went great," came the bubbly answer from the hologram of RedTree. "You should have seen Batman's face when he went to add details about Superman to his contingency plans and found the note telling him that he had been a naughty boy for keeping the plans after he had been told to delete them." Red stated with a smirk before giggling. "He's currently tearing the entire system apart to try and figure out how it was accessed, but he'll never find me." She finished with another laugh.

Xander's smirk was mirrored by those around the table, "Good job Red." Xander answered with a smirk. "Old Bruce could use with some chaos in his life; it's about the only thing I agree with the Joker about." Xander stated, before cringing and shivering at the thought of clowns.

'_I hate clowns!'_ A little boy's voice in the back of Xander's head stated, and all he could do was mentally agree.

Alec finished eating a bit of cooked spinach before patting his mouth with his napkin and turning to question Xander. "Have you decided where you will be heading for first on your trip tomorrow?"

Xander tipped his head to the side for a second before shrugging towards the nearest shoulder, "Nah, not really. I figured I'd start towards Turkey and test out my speed running on the way there." Xander explained. "Other than seeing some of the sites that Giles told me about in Istanbul, I'll just work my way west. Perhaps following the Silk Road, or I'll just let the winds guide me." He finished before pushing his plate away from himself.

Looking around Xander noted that everybody else was finished with their dinners, and the three girls had gone through more than a bottle of wine between the three of them; the looks they gave Xander still gave him that brief chill down his spine.

Xander gave a mental shrug and turned to face everybody, "Well I really appreciate the send off dinner. I'm going to do some reading in my room before bed. Got an early morning tomorrow." He said with a smile before pushing back from the chair.

Igor and Magda gave Xander a little nod, while Alec wished Xander a good night and Xander replied in kind. The three girls just all smiled at Xander with big predatory grins, the type that had Xander's danger sense calling for a portal to his room quickly.

* * *

**WARNING LOVE SCENE, DANGER, DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER  
**

The lights were turned down and only two bed side sconces let light around Xander's large red satin and silk sheathed bed. He had kept a lot of the red and black colors in the room, much to his chagrin as the ladies wouldn't let him decorate the room to look like his Hawaiian shirts. Still, Xander had ended up agreeing that he liked the plush wallpaper, wood paneling, and deep carpet that made the room really feel like a sanctuary where he could go to leave some of his troubles behind in.

Xander sat up in bed against the headboard without his shirt on, his nano-clothing assuming the form of sleeping pants that were under the sheets. Xander was enjoying reading propped up in his bed, deeply involved in the latest mechanical engineering theories that one of his engineers had written up while simultaneously reading through a doctoral thesis on string theory for a little light reading. The temperature in the room was perfect for rest and sleep if just slight chilly; but it didn't bother Xander with his upgraded body capacities.

Just as Xander closed the last page on the string theory paper the lights in his room turned off and the door into his room opened.

Xander's head shot up, and he saw the shadowy outline of a feminine figure, backlit by the soft light of the hallway. The silhouette had one bare foot leg bent slightly to the side and crossed behind the ankle of the other, and the sheer nightgown that the girl wore allowed Xander to clearly see her curves through the fabric, even as the fabric hinted at the sparkles of light filtering through its silky material.

'_I might not understand woman, but they are truly the most gorgeous beings in the world if not the universe.'_ Xander thought to himself as he silently looked and smiled at perfection of curves and softness formed standing in the doorway across from him, her dark hair hiding her face and caressing the tops of her shoulders.

Xander's smiled and his eyes twinkled. "I do believe you joining me would be more enjoyable than any reading I could ever find my dear. Why don't you close the door and come to bed?" Xander offered as he set the reading material on the bedside stand and then held a hand out to woman in the door.

The girl in the door hesitated, only closing the door and moving through the brief beams of moonlight towards the bed after Xander's deep caring voice said, "Come Tara, let me make love to you one more time before I leave for my trip."

The brunette beauty's hair and pale skin glowed in the moonlight, and the beams of silver light both sparkled on her nightgown while showing hints of the exquisite flesh that was underneath it.

Walking almost hesitantly across the room the girl's hand slid softly into Xander's outstretched hand, and he carefully pulled her towards him while using his other hand to lift the covers of the sheets and covers to give her entrance into Xander's bed.

The sound of silk on silk slid through the air as she entered the bed and found Xander's arms softly wrap around her and urge her to his side as he covered them over with the blanket.

Xander drew the soft perfection into his arms and kissed the girl on up her jawline before grazing a kiss to her forehead before meeting her lips.

Lips that matched the feeling of the velvet that they slept on met Xander's masculine mouth while a hand tentatively cupped his strong jawline.

Their lips toyed with each other before his tongue briefly flicked over her lips, seeking entry and gaining it as she tentatively touched tongues with him, tapping and softly caressing each other in that intimate imitation of life's oldest dance.

Xander's hand draped down the fabric of her nightgown and found her bare cheek where he pulled her thigh to wrap her leg around him while she gasped as his knee and thigh softly slid across her core.

Xander felt the beauty in his arms gasp and then moan into his lips as their tongues toyed with each other. She tasted of the earthy tones of red wine and a hint of mint that tasted different than Tara normally did, but the feeling of her body was the same magnificence that he had experienced with her in the past so allowed their passion to continue to grow.

Nips and deep kissing where he nipped her lip and she sucked on his bottom lip devolved into him straying to kiss down her chin and then the curve of her neck while she lightly bit his ear and then gave it a lick that caused goose bumps to rise up his cheek.

Xander continued his campaign of kisses, nibbles and licks down to her collar bone, causing gasps and hisses of pleasure to release in feminine moans that encouraged his trip down her body while at the same time mentally commanding his nano-clank pants to go anywhere else but on his body.

Xander's hands graced up the sides of her body, lifting her nightgown to her shoulders and then over her head quickly before they rejoined each other at the lips. Their language was that of gasps and moans, the language of want of give and take. That dance that couples had joined through the annals of time.

Again Xander traced his way in kisses down her neck and towards her chest while her hands trailed through his hair and then briefly clawed his back as her neck bridged backwards in a silent wide eyed scream when his lips met her nipple and gave it a brief suckle.

Xander smirked, _'I might not understand woman, but I love their bodies.'_ Xander thought before draping kisses down the valley of her chest and then getting a similar reaction when he licked, circled and then suckled her other nipple.

Drawing a gasp, Xander smiled and continued his downward path over her belly to her hips, and then softly drew apart her thighs as he slid his shoulders and head down to kiss into the hidden treasure below.

Licking over her lips, Xander was rewarded with her inhalation of breath and he smiled as he proceeded to bring his tongue up lightly pressing against her lips with the flat of his tongue before dipping down to briefly press it inside and then lightly flick her clit.

The true brunette gasped and moaned, shaking her head back and forth as Xander continued to flick and play her like an instrument, her fingers were buried in his hair or were constantly moving as they caressed his shoulders or clenched his head when something Xander did felt particularly good.

Xander just smiled, the reactions he was getting in reply to his actions were not only good for his ego they made him stiff as he enjoyed giving her pleasure.

Smirking a bit more, Xander thought to himself, _'Well, they wanted me to try to get used to my powers. Let's see if my tongue has super speed also.'_ With that, Xander set the tip of his tongue against her clit and flicked it once, then twice experimentally, smirked to himself, and then went into super speed flicking her clit.

The reaction was instantaneous, as her thighs clamped around Xander's head and she started flailing about as she literally bridged her back off the bed as her orgasm hit her.

Her hands were grasping the sheets, and her unseeing eyes were staring wide eyed towards the ceiling as she wailed out a scream of ultimate pleasure, her orgasms literally causing her body to be wracked with spasms as she bridged up off the bed.

Xander held on tightly and continued to lick her at super speed, making her ride from one torrential orgasm to another for five straight minutes. Finally she let out one more high pitched scream and then fell limp to the bed.

Xander immediately stopped and blurred up the bed to where he checked the pulse of the limp unconscious beauty in his arms. Her hair was strewn about, covering what parts of her face he could see in the brief bits of moonlight that filtered into the room; and if it wasn't for his exceptional primal gifted senses he probably wouldn't have been able to see anything at all with the lack of real light in the room.

"Come on, come on darling, are you ok?" Xander stated as he quickly wiped his own lips before brushing her hair out of the way so that he could kiss her softly.

Slowly Xander saw dark eyes flicker open, and then was surprised by the strength of the girl as her arms wrapped around Xander's head and pulled him into a scorching kiss while at the same time she moaned a long drawn out purr like "mmmmmmmm."

Xander smiled as he kissed back, both thankful that she was ok as well as enjoying the renewed passion.

Her arms pulled him in close, and her legs wrapped around Xander, drawing him close to her.

He briefly pulled back, and felt himself align with her core, before slowly pushing forward and sliding in to sheath himself within her warmth.

Xander shivered as he felt her slide over and around his length, the slow pace drawing out the pleasure for both man and woman.

Xander was wrapped in her feminine curves, and he felt the sweat from her body wet against his chest as he slowly slid out and then back into her. Her slightly salty taste was in his mouth as he bit her neck and she in turn moaned and cried out in ecstasy almost deafening his ear.

Xander growled deep in his throat as the feelings of pleasure grew with each thrust, and those primal urges to take his mate and claim her raged through his body causing him to thrust strongly into her; yet Xander still kept himself in check, not wanting to slip and hurt her by using his superior strength since his girls were only human.

And still the dance continued, she wrapped around him, digging her nails into his back as he licked nibbled and dueled with her tongue while she moaned, screamed, whimpered and continued to cling to him.

The thrusts built in intensity, and the pleasure rose in both of them until they couldn't contain it any longer. Xander's body slapped into her before quickly withdrawing as both of them clawed ever higher towards their onrushing orgasm.

It hit like a lightning bolt, pushing Xander over the line of his control and she felt him swell inside her as he growled and latched his teeth onto the side of her throat as to muffle his yell as he thrust once more into her and exploded in orgasmic wonder.

His swelling inside her was enough to push her over the edge for another orgasm, and this climax came with the force of a flash flood or a mountain storm; lights exploding behind her eyes as her body shook as if it was battered by the winds of their passion. Their climax together was a thing of beauty as they panted and purred together, her scream rasping her throat as she unconsciously attempted to make him go deaf in his left ear.

His pants were matched by her pants.

Her moans were matched by his groans of pleasure.

And with a last shake and a shimmy, the last vestiges of their dance played out, and she allowed one of her legs to collapse to the bed where he pulled her in a roll so that she was draped over him; her hair strewn over his shoulder where he could catch his breath and stare blindly up into the dark ceiling yet keep her wrapped around him.

**END LOVE SCENE, NOTHING TO SEE HERE, NUDGE NUDGE WINK WINK**

Their lovemaking ended in cuddles where words weren't needed, and he kissed her ear one more time before he felt sleep claiming him.

As she shivered from his kiss, Xander swore he heard her say, "Thank you Hero."

However sleep quickly claimed them and Xander knew no more until morning.

* * *

As seven thirty A.M. rolled around, the window shades that Bob had closed on Xander's windows after he had fallen asleep opened automatically and caused beams of light to slowly grow across the floor towards the bed; keeping pace with the rising curtains.

As the sun warmed his body and the change in his environment slowly brought Xander awake, he smiled and leaned over to kiss the lovely Tara who was in his arms, only to plant a kiss on the lips of the girl who had slept all night with him yet wasn't Tara.

Xander blinked.

Then Xander blinked again, and rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

'_Nope, Janna is still in my arms, I wasn't mistaken.'_ Xander thought rationally for a second.

One second passed.

Another second passed.

And finally the alarm bells started ringing in his head, _'AWOOOGA! AWWWOOOOOOOGGAA! Warning! Warning, potential for Gypsy curse being sent at your family jewels imminent! Repeat, this is not a test, you really did have sex with the granddaughter of the clan elderwoman. AWOOOOGGGAAA AWOOOOGAA!'_

Xander's eyes shot wide open, and he dodged out of the bed in a blur where he grabbed his pants that had been on the floor and pulled them up to cover his privates.

Looking down at the bed, he saw the partially uncovered form that was a mirror of his computer teacher's. _'That's it. I'm officially going to get killed by Magda.'_ Xander thought as he noticed the definite hicky/bite mark on the bridge of Janna's neck.

Janna yawned and her eyes fluttered open to stare up at Xander standing beside the bed looking down at her.

"Xander… come back to bed. I'm cold." She whined cutely and spread her arm out towards him and opened and closed her hand several times like she was trying to grab him.

"Uh, Janna, I think I'm going to get in enough trouble with your grandmother as it is without getting back into the bed." Xander said hesitantly as plans to flee the country shot through his head.

Janna frowned before fully opening her eyes and looking at Xander, "The only angry gypsy woman you need to worry about is me if you don't come back to bed and warm me up." Janna said with a slight glare that reminded Xander of Cordelia.

Xander gulped, and quick as a wink he was back under the sheets and lying stiffly under the blankets.

Janna smiled and scooted closer so she could drape a leg over Xander's hip and laid her head on his shoulder and looked up at him. With a smirk she said, "There you go, much better."

Xander just looked down at her, still with a bit of a scared look on his face before swallowing. "Just to be clear, you and me last night, we um…" Xander asked, leaving the last part unsaid.

Janna's smile turned into a mirror of that when the cat ate the canary, "Yep, and it was wonderful." She purred before rubbing her naked inner thigh up his leg and across his manhood.

Xander's periscope started to ascend against the orders of the superior officer in his large head, but in the back of his mind the little voice had started a conga line and was chanting, _'Harem, harem, Harem Yeah!' _The voice called out before kicking out a leg, then chanted _'Harem Harem Harem Ya!'_ The little voice was joined by Xander's sense of adventure, the wild side, subconscious, and the Primal was the caboose on the tail end, but probably only because the little voice was handing out rum to those who joined the conga line.

All in all, Xander couldn't get himself to worry too much with Janna's naked torso lying on top of him while her leg caressed his growing appendage.

Xander's smile grew across his face, and he bent down and kissed her tenderly.

When he came up for air he looked her in the eyes and said, "Thank you, it was wonderful. The only question I have though, is why?" He asked at the end, raising an eyebrow as he gave her a hug and rolled sideways to face her.

Janna bit her lip and looked down for a second before looking back up into Xander's eyes and answering, "It's because you saved me." She stated clearly to him.

Xander started to protest, having seen her die in his arms, but her finger against his lips stopped him from saying anything more.

"I know you think you messed up, and that I died along with several of my family members, but the reality is that you came for me and saved me from a fate worse than death, and in the end you even saved me from death." She stated sincerely before removing her hand and giving Xander a deep kiss.

When she pulled back from him, Xander finally interjected, "I still think I don't deserve your thanks," he started to say, but her frown and glare quickly stopped him from continuing that statement. Xander smiled slowly and finally answered, "You're welcome, but you didn't have to do this…" He wanted to articulate, only for her to interrupt him again with a kiss and then draw back with another smile.

"I wanted to." Janna quipped, giving Xander a playful smirk, "You might not know it Xander, but you're a hunk, and add that to your kindness and the fact that you are fun and exciting to be around, and what girl wouldn't want to jump your bones?" She answered.

Xander was feeling so good at that statement that even the voice of doubt in the back of his head that reminded him of Buffy was quickly pummeled into silence by the little voice and the rest of the conga line, leaving Xander just smiling at Janna.

"Thank you." Xander said sincerely before bending down to kiss her.

Janna kissed him back, pulling in close and wiggling herself against Xander, getting his motor running and seriously turning him on as she squirmed all over him.

Then like a switch was flipped, Janna jumped out of bed and sashayed towards the door, leaving a jaw dropped Xander staring after her.

"But uh… But uh… But… What was that!" Xander asked in exasperation as Janna grabbed and clothed herself with a robe that he hadn't noticed had been dropped by the door.

Janna just smirked and turned to look at Xander flirtatiously over his shoulder, "Dora and Tara said that the best way to encourage a Heterodyne male was to get them turned on and then leave them wanting. We figured you would remember to return to us in one piece if this was your last memory." Janna said with a wink, and with that she walked out the door and closed it behind her; leaving a stunned Xander behind.

Xander's jaw was still open wide stunned, but it slowly closed and turned into a smile.

Xander blew out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding before muttering, "Those little minxes." He said to himself, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

Giving himself a shake and a shiver, Xander threw off the sheets and mentally got his brain back on task with getting ready for his trip.

Nano-clank clothing was donned and the backpack with his light saber was loaded up with extra pairs of the ever-changeable clothing along with a few thousand pounds worth of odds and ends to cover a myriad of different circumstances that might come up or in case Xander had the urge to tinker and needed a few spare parts. Surprisingly or not so surprisingly given the nature of his normal belt pouches and pockets, none of the thousands of pounds of oddly shaped knick-knack paddy-whacks and widgets that were thrown into the bag caused said backpack to bulge in any way. To an outside viewer it would simply be a mostly empty school bag that might as well contain a few text books or perhaps a simple change of clothes.

Looking himself in the mirror, bright orange Hawaiian shirt open over a black tight t-shirt and jeans with hiking boots and a light saber clipped to the side of his bag, Xander thought he was ready to go.

Xander smiled at his image before turning and mentally ordering a portal to open up and deposit him on the front doorstep of his castle.

Turning back around towards the castle, Xander gave it a jaunty wave and said, "See you later Bob."

Bob answered back from an external speaker, "Safe travels Xander, have fun, and don't do anything I wouldn't do." The last part was said with a joking tone.

Xander just smiled and gave a little salute, and then in a flash he was gone like a blur running top speed heading south west through the Romanian countryside.

* * *

Xander had only gone fifty miles in the few seconds since he had left, but he was starting out slow and trying to see how fast he could go. However already he was learning some problems with moving at.

Super speeds.

"Ow Ow Ow." Xander said as he came to a stop and slowly felt along the sides of his ribs and his lower back where his shirt had been snapping against him due to the force of the wind caused by his speed.

Xander flinched as his healing factor fixed the slight bruising that had been caused by his nano-clank Hawaiian shirt whipping against him. "Cordelia couldn't do it, but apparently moving at fast speeds is going to have me giving up on the baggy Hawaiian shirts." Xander groused to himself while mentally ordering the Hawaiian shirt to blur into a tight long sleeved black shirt that hugged him almost like a second skin. Xander's jeans became more form fitting yet remained loose enough for movement.

Taking a big breath and letting it out, Xander set one foot out in front of the other, and then slowly began jogging, then running, then sprinting until the landscape was again blurring in comparison to him.

'_Faster'_ Xander thought to himself, and he picked up the pace more as the blur around him became brief hints of trees and mountains that were gone almost as fast as he saw them.

'_Faster!'_ Xander thought again as he picked up even more speed, still not feeling like he had hit his peak, so speeding up more as the southern coast of Romania and the Black Sea seemed to come up on him in a flash.

'_Here goes nothing'_ Xander thought while mentally crossing his fingers.

And with that thought, Xander's foot stepped off of dry ground and hit the water… followed by the other foot, and then the next foot, until Xander realized that he was already a mile out to into the middle of the Black Sea sprinting at speeds only matched by The Flash.

"WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!" Xander's scream of joy was swallowed by the wind as he first started running in a straight line out into the sea, only to dodge around a tanker ship and then start zigzagging across the ocean as he just played around with the fact that he could run so fast that the surface tension of the water actually kept him afloat.

Xander was a black blur that almost seemed like a ghost as he traveled by so fast; there would be several sailors on the Baltic Sea who drank a few extra drinks as they swore they had witnessed one of the ghosts of the deep whip by.

Xander was having a blast but he was on an adventure and he hadn't eaten breakfast yet, so he decided to see if Istanbul had anything good to eat.

* * *

**AN: Another chapter up, and Xander is on his way to learning his skills and seeing the world. I'm pretty sure that there is a rule somewhere that states that road trips require at least one hallucinogenic and or drunken episode as well as the occasional instance when the car goes off a cliff and everybody screams as they plummet towards what looks like inevitable doom. But eh, this is Xander; that stuff is mild compared to what Murphy and the winds of chaos have in store for our friend. I know this chapter was a bit of a filler, but if I put in the part about Istanbul I would have to wait until the vertigo went away, and then it wouldn't be posted until next week. Well anyway, no poll this week as I think I have the ideas that I was looking for. If you enjoyed it, let me know. Cheers! **


	27. Chapter 27: Adventures With Murphy

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: On the Road again, Just can't wait to get on the road again. The life I love is making music with my friends… oh wait, I'm not Willy Nelson, oh well, probably a good thing at that. Xander's back on the road and his high flying chaos riddled road trip has begun. The last time Xander was on the road he 1. Robbed the batcave; 2. Found a bunch of minions when taking a potty break; 3. Took the first steps towards creating a harem and world domination and that was just in two to three days on the road. What will happen when he spends some serious time exploring the world? Enjoy.**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 27: Adventures With Murphy**

"And on the eighth day God said, 'Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!'" ~Author Unknown

"Istanbul was Constantinople now its Istanbul not Constantinople, Been a long time gone, Constantinople Now its Turkish delight on a moonlit night. Every gal in Constantinople, Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople, so you've a date in Constantinople She'll be waiting in Istanbul. Even old New York, was once New Amsterdam, why they changed it I can't say. People just liked it better that way!  
So take me back to Constantinople…" Xander sang the song by 'We Might Be Giants' as he walked through Istanbul with his backpack, just enjoying the sights of the ancient city.

The city was an interesting mix of ancient and new, paying testament to the many different empires and cultures that had left their mark on the city. The buildings in parts of the city were close together, roof to roof and wall to wall, sometimes at the same level and sometimes separate. Other parts of the city had newish apartment buildings or condos while other parts of the city were made up of spacious squares, markets, thoroughfares and all of it dotted with large mosques and churches as well as the occasional synagogue.

Xander had sped up onto the land where the outskirts of western Istanbul met the Black Sea. Blurring through the gaps and alleyways until he felt that he was far enough inland , he finally stepped out onto the street at a normal speed. Now here he was, walking through the crowds singing to himself like he didn't have a care in the world.

The people around him alternated between smiling and shaking their heads in amusement or frowning and shaking their heads in frustration at what appeared to be another "Loud American;" though Xander didn't know what they were saying given that the language spoken on the streets around him was all Turkish.

'_I'd say it's all Greek to me, but given some of Giles's history lessons, it would probably be best if I didn't tell the Turks to their faces that I consider them anything like the Greeks.'_ Xander gave a mental quip after he got to the end of his loud rendition of 'Istanbul.'

Xander looked up as he finished his song and saw that sure enough, Lady Luck was still keeping an eye on him, because right in front of Xander was a Sparkbucks Coffee shop that was sealed up tightly with steel panels covering the front door and window.

Shrugging to himself, Xander stepped out of the throng of people walking the sides of the street and traveled down a small tight alley that separated the Sparkbucks from a small bakery.

Rounding the corner of the alley and going behind the Sparkbucks, Xander found himself stepping over and around the bags of trash that hadn't been shipped off to the dump yet, kicked a cat off the step of the solid steal back door, and knocked on the metal.

"Shave and a haircut, two bits." Xander knocked, stating the lyrics as he rapped his knuckles against the door in the proper pattern before laying his hand on the doorknob, but not trying to open the door.

Xander felt the mechanics in the door query the nano-clanks in Xander's hand along with his biometric readings, acquiring the proper access codes in return. As a result, a soft series of 'click' sounds was heard to issue from the door, and it released with the hissing sound of a pneumatic lock sliding back into the wall.

Xander smiled, _'Good old Evil overlord list, make it look like a normal lock, but have it be a biometric scanner and high-tech security system.'_ He thought to himself as he looked up and down the alley quickly before entering the empty store and quickly shutting the door behind him.

As Xander entered the store the lights flickered on and Xander made his way back to the manager's office.

As Xander entered the door to the manager's office, what looked like a normal monitor for a computer screen rotated to face the door and an image of a red-headed digital face popped up, "Hi there Xander! Are you having a good vacation so far?" The digital image of Willow asked.

Xander smiled in return, "Hey RedTree. Yeah I practiced my speed running and I've been learning things quickly, heh, get it, learning quickly…" Xander stated, trying to be funny but coming off as a geek. Xander looked a bit chagrin and he quickly changed the topic as the image of the AI RedTree just shook her head at Xander and his normal goofiness.

"So is there anything that I need to know about specific to Istanbul or the world in general?" Xander questioned Red while sitting down in the office chair that was in the room.

Green lines of ones and zeroes started to flip past where the image of RedTree's eyes should have been and the AI intelligence gathering program started feeding Xander the news.

"Well Xander, I've decoded a few jpg images that a group of Kurdish separatists were using to send encrypted messages. Apparently security is high in the city due to a bombing campaign by the PKK. You should watch out for suspicious activities if you are going to frequent any areas with high foot traffic. Additionally, there are several other unknown groups in the city, but all of their messages are in code words that make them read like letters from children." Red explained to Xander who nodded along while double checking to make sure his shoes were tied tightly; it wouldn't do to trip on a shoelace when going over one hundred miles a minute.

"Ok, that's understood." Xander explained as he sat up in his chair and focused more fully on the computer monitor where Red was talking to him. "Hey, any way I could get a taste of the normal 'Turkish coffee' that would normally be in this store while you give me the rest of the report?" Xander questioned.

Red smiled briefly, and a small white china cup transported in to the right of the computer's keyboard while Red continued talking, "Speaking of coffee, the United Nations is holding a meeting to discuss the complete reversal of the original embargos on your countries, and we are starting to have contacts requesting trade agreements with our ambassadorial corps." Red stated before giving a feral grin, "Though our ambassador's are playing hard to get while we have the world by the balls." Red continued, reminding Xander that though RedTree looked like his friend Willow, she was still a separate entity.

Xander shared a similar feral grin with the computer monitor, "Excellent, and the upgrades to the security systems throughout the Sparkbucks coffee shops is on track for completion before we reopen the doors?" Xander questioned.

"Yep!" Red said with a smirk, "In fact, if you hang around the shop for a bit more, the little clanks should be by that store within the hour. Should they expect you to still by on site when they arrive?" She queried at the end.

Xander paused for a moment to sip the thick Turkish approximation of the Sparkbucks coffee before giving an exhale of pleasure, "Ahhhh, that hits the spot." Xander stated before shaking his head in the negative, "Oh, and no, I should be out and about the city by the time they get here. It's," Xander paused while looking at the watch that formed around his wrist when he mentally asked what time it was.

"It's 11:30, and I still haven't eaten yet." Xander replied a bit surprised at the time. His stomach rumbled then and he smiled up at the screen where RedTree giggled at Xander's gastric sound effects.

"At the sound of the grumble it will be time for me to go eat." Xander quipped before downing the rest of his coffee and smiling at the image of one of his AI's. "I'll just be off, thanks for the updates Red. I'll check in tomorrow when I get to a stopping spot, and you know how to find me if you need me." Xander said with a smile.

The digital image of Willow smiled back at Xander, "Take care of yourself mister, see, resolve face." She bantered back, and Xander merely laughed as he got up and left the office.

Xander moseyed out of the office and then towards the backdoor, which opened for him automatically at the same time that the lights of the store shut down.

Xander walked back through the alley and out to the main street where the front of the shop was. Looking back towards the store, Xander saw a man shivering and shaking while looking longingly at the Sparkbucks coffee shop.

Xander frowned and just shook his head, _'Glad I didn't get cut off from the Sparkbucks, especially since I drink so much of it. I'd hate to see the reaction of somebody who was cut off after drinking it pretty much twenty-four seven.' _Xander thought to himself as he walked down the street towards where the GPS program in his brain's nano-clanks stated a good kabob place was located.

* * *

In Earth's high outer orbit the Watchtower floated, a silent sentinel of hardened glass and metal that looked out over the world below. It was a bastion of justice and a beacon of solidarity towards the goal of bettering the lives of the humans on the planet below. The tower was pristine, polished, and like some watching gargoyle that warded off the evil spirits, it was silent in its scrutiny of the world beneath it.

The silence of space was marred as one of the large plate glass windows on the side of the station began to flex and warp, looking like ripples on a pond that were growing more violent. The violent wrinkles in the crystalline structure finally cracked, releasing a gaseous cloud of atmosphere out into the quiet vacuum of space.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The sound of absolute agony rippled through the released mix of oxygen, nitrogen, argon, carbon dioxide and trace other gasses that were being sucked out of the station. The scream was cut off by the sound of a heavy 'THUD!' right before the blast doors closed and sealed over the leak that had issued from the shattered glass.

With the closing of the blast doors, the Watchtower satellite was again a silent guard against the evil that would seek to do harm to the Earth.

* * *

dsfas

From his seat in front of a café that looked upon a large Istanbul mosque, Xander's head shot up as he suddenly had the urge to say, "It wasn't my fault." Looking around, Xander shrugged off the urge to deny all guilt before finishing off his last few bites of lamb and bread and just savored the atmosphere as he listened to the end of the 12:18 prayers at the mosque.

Xander patted his full belly, and wished that he could order the transportation of another Turkish coffee. Unfortunately he knew he shouldn't after wandering the streets and seeing the many cafes and restaurants sporting signs stating, "No Sparkbucks left" in multiple different languages. Xander didn't want to call attention to himself or possibly start a caffeine riot.

'_Besides, the weather is nice if still a bit chilly._' Xander thought as he was the only one eating in the outdoor portion of the café. '_I should just enjoy the experience.'_

The sun was beaming down in the sky, shining off the white domed roof of the large mosque located at the Gaziosmanpasa Merkez Cami on Ordu Cd. The open cobbled area between Xander and the mosque was bustling with tourist taking photos of the building while women and children awaited their husbands who were soon to leave the mosque. It was an idyllic site, and Xander was thrilled to see it.

'_Who would have thought that Xander Harris would ever make it clear across the world from Sunnyhell to Istanbul?'_ Xander thought to himself with a smile. His smile grew as he continued to ponder, _'I bet Heir Snyder would pop a blood vessel if he realized I was a world traveler now. And the cleaning staff would be busy mopping up the left over's from his head exploding if he had any idea that I was ruling my own country.'_ Xander smugly thought to himself before digging into his pocket and pulling out exactly the right amount of local currency to pay the bill and tip.

'_I love science!'_ Xander mentally quipped as he stood up and stretched and pulled his backpack over his shoulder; the backpack that had more stuff in it than all of Cordelia Chase's clothing and shoe closets combined.

Smiling and nodding to the waiter as he left the little restaurant, Xander decided to wander closer to the mosque to enjoy the experience and beauty of the day.

'_I'm so glad I was able to go on this road trip. This is so great.'_ Xander thought with a smile as he started to cross the road.

'_The birds chirping, the sun shining, the families gathering to greet each other for a noonday break.'_ Xander continued to smile as he noted the people gathering as throngs of men started to exit the mosque after the midday prayers.

'_It really is great to see some things remain the same no matter where in the world you are.' _Xander thought happily as he noticed the kids running up to great their fathers and older brothers.

Xander watched and smiled as he saw that there were families greeting each other. Old men debating and speaking to each other with faces showing the signs that these were the happenstances of long friendships. The tourists were gawking, the people were chatting in Turkish and other languages. A man was walking with an olive drab bulging trench coat towards the gathered people. Vendors were moving through the gathered people offering drinks or food.

'_Wait a second…'_ Xander's brain triggered and his face swung to look at the man in the trench coat, _'A man moving alone with a bulging trench coat!' _Xander thought as the world seemed to slow down and something RedTree had told him to watch out for returned to his mind, just as the man seemed to open his coat and raise his arm upwards as he started to shout.

It was like a stop motion play, where everybody's faces took on an inquisitive look while turning to look at the man screaming something about 'Kurdistan'. Fathers' eyes got large, and some woman started to scream as they saw the coat open up and realized that the man was strapped with bag upon clear bag of ball bearings and screws, while packets of explosives and wires surrounded the man's torso and waist.

The man's arm started the raise, and it was clear that a switch and button were in his hand and wires were disappearing down his sleeve.

Xander acted almost without thought.

One second Xander was sedately crossing the street, then less than an instant later the world seemed to stop as his brain screamed, _'FULL SPEED!'_

Xander closed the distance before the man's thumb could depress the switch, tearing the detonator and the attached wiring away from the man as Xander stopped ten feet beyond the where the terrorist was standing.

As Xander stopped, the world regained speed, and the sounds of the bellows and screams of the crowd came to life, just as the man who had been yelling about something something Kurdistan began screaming bloody murder also.

Xander turned to look back at the man as the crowd around Xander and the terrorist ran in helter skelter in all directions away from them.

There was the terrorist, screaming and laying on the ground in a growing bloody pool, his arm missing from the shoulder.

Xander blinked, wide eyed before looking down at the detonator in his hands; the detonator that was still clenched in the hand and attached to the clothed arm of the terrorist.

'_SHIT!'_ Xander mentally cursed before looking around quickly and then back at the arm in his hands. Realizing that he was holding a severed arm, Xander cursed to himself again before dropping the arm and looking down at the heavily bleeding wannabe terrorist, _'Yep, definitely need some more practice with grabbing things at high speeds.'_ Xander thought before looking around the square.

Already the siren sounds of rapidly approaching police was coming from the distance, and before him the man lay screaming on the ground trying to hold on to the bloody shoulder.

Xander looked around again, thinking quickly as thoughts raced through his brain on what he should do. Finally he cursed to himself and thudded over towards the former suicide bomber while unlimbering his lightsaber from the side of his pack.

"The day was going so well, and then you had to come fuck it up." Xander spat as he ignited his blade and the red sword of light shot from the end of his outstretched saber.

The terrorist starred up at Xander with wide eyed fear, babbling in some language that Xander figured was a plea for mercy.

"Oh, so now you want mercy you baby killer." Xander spat as he marched closer and closer to the now desperately crawling bleeding terrorist.

Xander marched forward and stomped on the man's chest, not hard enough to really injure or kill the terrorist, but enough to keep the babbling man from escaping.

"Get this through your head you insignificant bastard, I'm not going to kill you." Xander said before kicking away the man's hand that was holding on to the severed arm socket.

Xander whipped his blade down and formed a nice neat slice that cauterized the wound due to the heat of the lightsaber. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to heal you either." Xander said as he prefaced his statement by holding his blade against the stump to make sure it was truly burned and stopped bleeding.

Stepping back, Xander extinguished his blade and reattached it to his backpack with an unconscious flare of a handle flip and clip. At the same time Xander's other hand reached down and grabbed the man by the bunched up collars of the man's trench coat and dragged him up to dangle in the air.

Xander used his now free hand to grab a hold of the explosive vest on the man and tore it loose before chucking it straight up in the sky as hard as he could.

The vest disappeared into the sky quicker than a wink.

Xander was about to growl something else at the man for ruining his road trip and for trying to kill those innocent civilians, but the sound of screeching tires on the road next to him caught his attention.

Xander ignored the man who was struggling to breathe due to Xander's hold, and turned his head to see several police cars pull up and disgorge heavily armed police and soldiers.

"Shit!" Xander cursed again, mentally hoping that RedTree was not going to see a recording of this or he was going to get in trouble for cursing.

Xander quickly turned and launched the one armed terrorist towards the windshield of one of the police cars.

The responding police officers dove out of the way as the man impacted the front windshield of one of the police cars and crashed right through it.

By the time the Turkish Police and soldiers looked back up, Xander was nowhere to be found.

* * *

Xander hopped from roof to roof, sprinting and then leaping across the rooftops so as to not be scene from the street yet not flying up into the air where he could possibly show up on Radar or be seen by people on the ground or in the sky.

After throwing Ahkmed the one armed terrorist, or whatever the man called himself, through the windshield of the police cruiser, Xander had sprinted through the crowd of people in a blur before leaping to the rooftops lining the street labeled Ordu Cd.

After that it was a semi-clumsy take at parkour where Xander first had to experiment at using just enough force to send him jumping from one roof to the next without punching a hole through the ceiling of the building he was landing on yet at the same time enable him to straddle the distance between buildings.

The first roof jump, Xander put too much force into it and jumped clear over the target roof to crunch the clay tiles of the second apartment building under his feet. Xander's feet skittered under him as the tiles loosened and flew around him as he scurried to gain more distance on the scene of the averted attack.

'_So much for not causing a scene.'_ Xander groused to himself as he under-judged the second jump and had to reach out and catch the ledge with his fingers to pull himself up onto the targeted roof.

"Uhf" Xander grunted as the gutter of the condo building slightly impacted his ribs and his fingers punched into the roofing material to pull him upwards.

With a pull, Xander was on the roof and running again, leaping up and over TV antennas and sliding under low hanging clothes lines while dodging around pipes and chimney's that dotted the roofs.

"Well, its good practice," Xander mumbled as he made it to the edge of a cross street and sent himself, arms spinning through the air, towards the opposite side of the street.

"For if I ever visit Gotham and want to play tag with Batman." Xander finished as he hit the roof on the other side of the street and rolled from the impact before popping up off his hands back into a run that was slightly above human capabilities.

Below Xander on the street he heard the sounds of police and ambulance sirens speeding back towards the area of the attempted bombing, and Xander just shook his head at his luck.

"Sure, it's me, go figure I'd chose the one kabob restaurant that is in front of the one mosque that is targeted for a bombing today." Xander groused as he sprinted past two stunned men taking a smoke break on the roof of a government building.

Xander smirked and gave them a jaunty wave before flinging himself towards the next roof that was across a good thirty foot gap. Xander just smirked to himself as he rolled upon impact, noticing that one of the staring men behind him had lost his cigarette while staring open mouthed at Xander.

Xander's smirk turned into a grin as he just enjoyed the thrill of using his body to twist and traverse the rooftops. As the wind swept through his hair he started to really enjoy his travel across the city, forgetting the darkness that he had just dealt with back in front of the mosque.

"Woo Hoo!" Xander shouted before jumping off of the roof he was on to flip three times in the air before landing on his feet and going into a handstand roll on the south side of Ordu Street.

Xander had a big smile on his face as he saw a big gap in the buildings coming up as he just picked roofs at random while he headed in a westerly direction.

Finally Xander came to a scrabbling halt at the end of a roof that dropped off to a grassy slope that then lead to a spur of river or canal.

Xander looked around to see if he was alone. Not seeing anybody, Xander looked back to the distance he had covered and then ran his hands through his hair while walking the length of the roof of the building until he came up on the back alley of the building.

Xander took one more look around him, and then with a smirk stepped off into nothing to plummet towards the ground.

Right before he hit the ground, Xander commanded his Nth metal's gravitational negating powers to kick in, and his rapid decent slowed quickly until he lightly touched down in a casual walk that led him out of the alley and onto the sidewalk.

Whistling to himself, Xander figured he had seen enough of Istanbul. Waving a hand up in the international gesture for, "Hey Taxi! Get your ass over here!" Xander flagged down a cab while mentally querying his nano-clanks as for a geographic reference that was on the far western side of Istanbul.

As the cab pulled up, Xander slid into the back seat and took off his backpack before he said, "Take me to Faith Mountain."

The driver nodded profusely and answered in heavily accented English, "Yes, I take you." Before starting to pull away from the curb.

Xander repeated, "Faith mountain, far west side of Istanbul." Xander said, this time Xander dug in his pocket and pulled out a one hundred dollar bill in U.S. currency before sliding it up to the now wide eyed taxi driver.

The driver smiled a big white toothed smile before turning back to look at Xander, then in perfect British accented English the man stated, "Right away, just lay back and enjoy the ride."

Xander laughed and did just that, kicking back in the seat and closing his eyes for a slight nap, safe in the thought that his nano-clanks would wake him up long before anything could happen to him.

* * *

Xander opened his eyes as he felt the taxi cab come to a complete stop.

"This is your stop." The driver said with a smile, "That will be another hundred dollars." He stated with a big smile.

Xander mere gave the man a blank stare and raised an eyebrow.

Finally the driver gave a hesitant uncomfortable laugh and shrugged, "Can't blame a man for trying?"

Xander quirked a smirk before pulling another hundred dollar bill out of his pocket and handing it across to the man. "No problem, just as long as you never saw me." Xander stated, holding onto the bill and not releasing it until the driver smiled and nodded.

Xander nodded and pulled his pack with him out of the cab before closing the door.

Xander just shook his head and smiled as the cab drove off quickly. _'Cabbies, they are the same no matter where in the world you go. I bet if I was in Sunnydale they would drive a vamp to church if paid enough.'_ Xander thought to himself.

With that, Xander looked out at the city of Istanbul and the channel he had crossed while he cat napped. With a shrug, Xander cinched up his backpack, turned towards the mountain peaks behind him and took off in a blur towards the western mountains of Turkey.

As Xander darted across the landscape in a blur of black shirt and blue jeans he went out of his way to try and grab figs, olives, fruit, nuts or even targeted leaves off of passing trees and bushes while dodging obstructions or jumping over fences.

The first time ended up with Xander stumbling as he accidentally uprooted the tree that held the target olives, but after dropping that and continuing his run Xander got better and better at plucking just the targeted item from the tree with the proper force to not damage it.

Xander bit his cheek in concentration as he tried for another single olive from a bunch without taking the entire bunch or the branch it was attached to along for the run.

Xander smiled to himself as he looked at his hand and saw that he had grabbed just the single olive.

By this point Xander was entering the north western mountains of Turkey and was running along at a fast pace.

Wanting to entertain himself, Xander chucked the olive into the air in front of him and then increased his speed to catch the olive out of the air with his mouth.

Smirking and chewing the olive, Xander spat the seed out before looking for another olive tree along his path from which to grab the green and black produce.

Seeing a heavily laden tree in front of him, Xander changed his direction enough so that he could blur under the tree; capturing one bunch in each hand and leaving him with about eighteen or so olives to play with.

Xander's western trip through the mountains took on a more zig zag pattern as he first threw one olive forward and to the left and then sprinted to grab it with his hand, before throwing one forward and to the right to catch that one out of the air with his mouth.

This was followed by tossing one to the right and one to the left at the same time, where Xander challenged himself to be fast enough to keep track of the olives and catch both of them in his mouth before they hit the ground.

The second one bounced off his nose, but Xander was undaunted and tried again.

'_Second time's a charm.'_ Xander thought with a smirk as he caught both olives on his next attempt while hurtling a goat that was munching on some weeds.

Next Xander tried three, then four olives at the same time, till he was on five and started to grab extra olives off of trees around him to keep the game going.

By the time Xander hit six olives going in every which direction, he was running right and left, forward and backwards, looking up to make sure he kept them in view.

Back-stepping at inhuman speeds, Xander stared straight up as he tried to maneuver underneath his last olive.

'_More, more more, almost there…' _Xander thought as he opened his mouth to catch the final olive, _'Got it!' _Xander thought, right before he crashed headfirst backwards through some sort of structure and went rolling head over heels in a cloud of splintered wood and dust.

Xander continued to roll backwards over the hard stone ground, 'Thud, thud thump-tidy thump thump thud' until he ended up laying on his back on the hard cobble stone street staring up at the sky.

"Oow, mental note, make sure you know what's behind you when running backwards." Xander said to himself before rubbing the back of his head that had hit the ground.

Xander looked down at the cobble stone street that he was laying on while pushing himself up to his knees, all the while grumbling to himself about the aches and pains that were quickly healing, and thankful that his backpack had impacted first against the door, wall, or whatever he had run into.

So distracted was Xander, that it wasn't until he got to his knees and started to rise to his feet that he realized that he wasn't alone.

A pair of very nicely polished wingtip black and white dress shoes was standing right in front of Xander, and the shoes led to a nicely tailored if older style suit. Xander's eyes trailed up the suit, up and up until he met the dark eyes of a well groomed man with a heavily engraved and gold leafed cane.

Xander looked up into the man's eyes, and noticed that the man did not appear to be amused.

Looking quickly to the left and then to the right, Xander realized that he was in the middle of a marketplace. Only this market place had prices in a myriad of language, and all of the items were more apt to be on the shelf's of Giles's office or written about as ingredients in the magic books in the Sunnydale School library.

To Xander's left was a shop advertising magic tombs and which had several scrolls in a window advertising that they harkened back to when Atlantis was above the sea. In front of that store was a stall that was selling raven's blood, eye of newt and tongue of toad as well as other spell ingredients.

To Xander's right was a booth selling wand and stave blanks, polished wood with which to make magical foci. Besides that was a vendor stand selling drinks from a bubbling caldron. And to Xander's left and right, front and back, and all around him really where what Xander realized where probably witches and wizards, or as they were known in the DC comic book universe, Homo-Magi.

Xander stood up fully, brushed himself off and looked around at all the blankly staring people who were absolutely silent.

Xander looked around, feeling a bit uncomfortable under the weight of the stares, so in classic Xander-defuse-the-situation-humor, Xander quipped, "Hey there, did anybody get the name of the door that hit me?" He said with a patented goofy grin.

The man in front of Xander scowled.

The people around Xander scowled.

As one, wands and staffs of all sizes as well as open hands were pointed at Xander.

Xander's eyes opened wide, and as the world slowed down as spells of all shapes and sizes flew towards Xander, he thought, '_Damn-it Murphy! Curse You!'_

Xander mentally commanded his nano-clank clothing to merge over his body, while at the same time he jumped straight into the air impossibly high.

Spells zipped through where he had just been, impacting against the first line of individuals who had been standing around Xander. Several were knocked down or unconscious by the spells of their fellow magical townsfolk, but the dark haired main in the nice suit weathered the storm with a flick of his finger and a magical shield that popped up around him. The multiple colors of ice, earth and tints of magic flashed against his shield and against the shields of others as they tracked the intruder to their hidden city as he landed on the roof of the building that had the magic books inside of it.

Xander landed just as his silvery material trickled over his face and turned him into a living version of what looked like the 'silver surfer.' Looking around quickly, he saw a weird distortion in the air over an archway he must have entered through, otherwise a city that looked to be floating off the ground was all that could be seen until it disappeared into some magical smoke.

A little voice in the back of Xander's brain happily quipped in an academic tone, _'Good job old chum, you've discovered the Hidden City of the Homo-Magi!'_ The voice sounded exactly like one of those old time British explorers in a pith helmet.

Xander, however, was not as amused.

"Damn-it, can't we all just get along?" Xander yelled, waving his hands in the air to show that he wasn't a threat.

Unfortunately waving hands is often a precursor to throwing spells if somebody was a magic user, so the already mistaken view of Xander as an invader was furthered by his actions.

Arrows of magical light and a wash of fire were his answer.

"Whoa!" Xander yelled as he dived to the left and rolled across the roof of the building to dodge the blasts.

"What is it with you people? You're just like Zatanna, blast with magic first and then ask questions later!" Xander groused loudly as he ducked, dodged, and weaved through the magic shooting at him as he danced across the rooftops of the market square.

Below Xander the dark haired man in the suit distinctly heard the words that the metallic intruder stated while simultaneously moving across the rooftops like liquid silver or even with the swiftness of the Greek God Mercury.

Glaring at the connotation of the man's words, John Zatarra raised his cane towards the roof where the man was and willed hands of stone and wood to reach out of the rooftop to grab the silver man.

Xander glared down where the hands were trying to grab him, and took a second to shatter them with a mixture of his super strength and his magic canceling Nth metal. But the brief instance of inaction caused several spells to hit Xander and slide over his metallic suit, leaving behind a tingle.

Below Xander, several of the Homo-Magi were stunned as their magic simply washed over the figure as if he wasn't even there. They were gob smacked as even the magical golem that had been created from the buildings material couldn't hold the figure. Now it was their turn to be stunned for a moment of inaction, a moment that Xander took advantage of.

Quicker than they could say "Abracadabra," Xander was off the roof and had sprinted back to where he had originally entered the hidden marketplace on the opposite side of the town square. The remnants of the shattered and formerly magically sealed gate to the hidden town of magic users still lay open, and the Turkish countryside was seen on the other side.

Xander stopped in the doorway and turned to quip back at the startled magic users, "You're town sucks, and trust me; my travel agent will be hearing about how horrible my stay was. Ciao!" Xander snarked, before waving once and then disappearing in a blur to get the hell out of Turkey before anything more could happen to him.

Behind him, Xander left a startled gossiping town and one overly protective father who was going to have words with his magical showman of a daughter.

* * *

Not terribly far away, hidden in the territory along the border between Syria and Iraq in an old palace of Arabic influences, one man fought off a horde of black clad ninjas.

The man was fluid in motion, throwing, gouging, and breaking bones as he dodged one attacker and used the number of trained assassins attacking him to his advantage. He moved with the skill and experience of ages of practice, but had the body of a young man in his late twenties or early thirties; even if he kept two bits of grey hair just above his sideburns and ears.

Ra's al Ghul finished tossing around the assassins in his employ as he fully enjoyed his workout. He knew where every attacker was as he spun like a dervish through the mass of attackers. The quiet opening of a door across the large room that contained the training sandpit drew his attention and let him know that he had other business to deal with besides playing with the young assassins.

Ra's stopped, and stood still, and like a well oiled machine every one of the previously attacking ninjas halted mid attack, stopped, bowed, and left the room.

Ra's turned to the see his daughter enter the room and walked towards her as two servants met him with a towel and a glass of water with a hint of lemon.

Nonchalantly wiping his face with the towel, he gave it back to the servant without really making note of the service that was his due, and took the glass from the second bowing servant before slowly sipping the refreshing beverage.

Talia al Ghul stopped and bowed to her father before standing and waiting to be addressed.

Ra's negligently waved her to walk with him, "What is it my daughter?" Ra's questioned as he walked through a door and into a living room of the palace where they were currently staying.

"You asked me to notify you about information on Alexander Harris, Father," Talia stated as she followed dutifully after he father.

"Ah yes, the boy from the casino. I assume you have news of some sort?" Ra's stated as he entered the living area and pulled his sweaty shirt off. Noting a slight tear in the fabric he frowned before tossing it on the ground. An unnoticed servant followed along behind them and quickly disappeared with the frayed garment, it would be properly disposed of as the Demon's head couldn't be seen to reuse soiled or torn garments.

Talia nodded slightly as she saw her father glance at her out of the corner of his eye, "Yes my father, he disarmed an attempted suicide bomber today, several hours ago, in Istanbul." Talia stated clearly.

Something about the way Talia said 'disarmed' drew his attention. Ra's asked, the question in his voice, "Disarmed?" He asked with a slight rising of his cultured eyebrow as a servant came behind him and draped a long flowing silk robe over his shoulders..

"Yes father, Alexander tore the man's arm off along with the detonation device and activation wires. He then proceeded to draw a glowing red blade of some sort from his pack and further severed the man's shoulder off. Our agents at the hospital state that the blade gave off great heat as the stump was fully cauterized around the injury point." Talia reported.

A slight smirk grew across the Demon Head's face, "Interesting. Is there anything else to report?" He questioned while walking around to a lower seated couch and reclining. A servant entered with a variety of meats, fruits and rice to eat, and set the platter down on a low table before Ra's.

Talia remained standing, "Yes Father. The bomber was hospitalized with a broken neck and fractures to both clavicle bones. Apparently Xander threw him through the front window of a police car forty feet away and used the action as a distraction to disappear. After that, Xander evaded pursuit and even your men could not track his whereabouts. Your men are getting copies of the security cameras from the mosque, but so far all that has been seen is Xander disappearing in a blur."

Ra's al Ghul's eyebrow quirked again at the use of Alexander's shortened name, Xander. Ra's smiled, "Excellent daughter. Come, sit and eat with me, tell me about this young man who has obviously caught your eye." Ra's stated.

Talia blushed ever so slightly, but regained her composure seamlessly before bowing her head slightly to her father. It wasn't often that he invited her to eat with him, and she cherished her father's attention.

The conversation over dinner was detailed, and plans for approaching Xander were laid amidst the enjoyment of the meal.

Less than a thousand miles away, Xander exited the mountains of Turkey, blurred through Armenia, and slowed down at the border to Bialya.

* * *

**AN: Well, out of the frying pan and into the fire, or maybe not, or maybe. You'll just have to read along to find out. That said I'd like to jokingly paraphrase Lord Vader on the Death Star, "I find your lack of Reviews… disturbing." I say it humorously, because reviews really do inspire me to continue writing this story. The reason this chapter came out when it did was because I spent a few days sick and at home on a chat client with readers and other authors who helped bounce ideas around for me. I really appreciate that, as you have no idea how helpful it is. That said, if you like it, have ideas or even just crazy thoughts you need to get out of your head, please let me know in a private message or review. I don't really care about my review count all that much, but your statements of joy at my chapter keep me interested in writing this. If you don't leave a review or some sort of message saying, 'eh, its horse dung but I read it,' or 'I love you michaelsuave, I want to have your baby' then for all I know the hits to my story are just google and yahoo bots pinging it to keep up to date for their search engines. Shrug* it's up to you. Hope you enjoyed it, think I'm going to take a break from this and work on my other stories for a bit.**


	28. Chapter 28: Girls Are Trouble

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: I have to be honest, the lack of reviews, notes and thoughts had me thinking 'to hell with this story' but the outpouring of more ideas and thoughts really helped. So you get a longer chapter where Xander starts to clash with some mega villains and chaos is abundant. Some of you who reviewed will note that some of your ideas did actually hit close to the mark on what happened, good on you! You win a cookie (as in the website you are reading this on just installed a cookie on your computer, aren't you special.) I hope you planned to have a good break of time to read this chapter, because it is over 18k words long. Let me know if you enjoy this or have additional thoughts.**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 28: Girls Are Trouble**

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." ~Albert Einstein

Bialya was a semi-utopian society ruled through unscrupulous means. The ruler of Bialya, who went by the name of Queen Bee, used a mix of alien and advanced technology to stimulate the brains of the citizens of the Middle Eastern country until they literally became addicted to living within its borders. All citizens in the country had an implant that made them so hopped up on endorphins, that they were a perpetually happy bunch. Add to that the 24 hour a day free medical care, free education and food, and you had a country similar to the Leviathan's Empire; but which did so by totally different means. Still, the country was beautiful, the weather was perfect, and the people were friendly; the perfect trifecta with which to create a tourist hot spot. For those tourists who wanted the absolute best of the best in Bialya, the Royal Gardens Grand Hotel was the place to be.

The hotel was opulent, with marble and gold interspersed with lush plant growth, fantastic rooms, pools, spas, and food to die for. The Royal Gardens Grand Hotel was staffed only by the brightest and prettiest citizens of the Arabic country, and of that staff, Traya, a hotel manager, was bright and not just a bit haughty about her looks.

Dressed sharply in a business suit, Traya had worked her way up through the ranks of the largest and most prestigious hotel in Bialya, and she wasn't afraid to bury a knife in somebody's back if she needed to. Still, since Traya was the youngest and most junior front desk manager for Bialya's largest paradise resort, she was the one who had to deal with all of the super eccentric rich customers that graced the opulent hotel and spa. Still, the customer she was going to deal with at the moment was a bit different than the normal eccentric patrons that she had to deal with.

Traya thought back to how she met Mr. Harris as she rode the elevator up to the penthouse suites level with her manager's key.

A tall broad handsome young man with dark windswept hair had moseyed in the door during the growing heat of the morning. From the reddish brown dust that was on his face and exposed skin she had known that he had been traveling through the border areas towards Turkey. The young man had just given a jaunty wave and walked past the bellhops who had offered to take his heavily beaten looking backpack, and instead the young man had walked right up to the open counter where Traya was working on the shift schedule for the hotel lobby.

Traya had to admit that her heart had skipped a beat when the tall obviously muscled man had smiled a self deprecating smile at her and said hello; which is probably why she was so ready to kindly direct him to a more 'suitable' arrangement rather than just telling him to get the hell out of the hotel that he obviously couldn't pay for.

Apparently looks could be deceiving, for when she suggested other accommodations he had simply shrugged and said he could afford her best rooms. A bit frustrated, Traya had snapped at him that she highly doubted it, at which point she nearly swallowed her tongue when he pulled out of his pocket a gold ingot as thick as her forearm and dropped it on the counter. After pre-paying for a week's stay in one of the world's most expensive hotels and in the nicest suites available, Mr. Harris had been treated completely different by the staff.

To say Mr. Harris's service had been excellent after that point would be an understatement. Still, the other wealthy guests also had to be appeased as well. Thus Traya was on her way to Mr. Harris's suite to politely check up on the prodigious sounds of explosives, the almost constant sound of grinding shearing metal and the punctuations of heavy hammer blows; hammer blows that shook the entire top floor of the hotel.

As the elevator doors opened up, and Traya fixed her hair so that it was perfect, she was assaulted by the sounds of a loud explosion and a billow of black smoke puffed out from under one of the doorways down the hall.

'_Obviously Mr. Harris's room.'_ Traya thought to herself while girding herself to deal with the handsome yet odd young man.

Traya walked up to the door and waved her hand to dissipate the smoke that was issuing up in front of the door before knocking politely on the door and waiting.

There was no answer at the door, and if the sound of the jackhammer and what sounded like a pack of braying donkeys was anything to go by, Traya figured she would have to knock louder.

Scrunching up her cute nose in frustration, Traya switched to pounding on the door. After about thirty seconds, the racket stopped and the door was whipped open to show a man in an open hotel robe and red silk boxers. The red silk boxers had radioactive warnings on them along with little signs that read, "Warning, the contents of these boxers may be hazardous to your sanity."

Traya couldn't help but smirk a bit as her eyes drifted up from the boxers to the tight eight pack of abs that lay below a nicely chiseled chest. The picture was marred a bit as Mr. Harris's face was smeared with bits of soot and a pair of welding goggles covered his eyes while a screwdriver and tuning fork were stuck behind his ears.

The odd ensemble caused Traya to pause for a second before smiling and politely asking, "Mr. Harris, would you please be so kind as to keep the noise down?"

"What? I can't hear you." Xander yelled in reply while pulling off his goggles. "Let me take out my ear plugs." He yelled one more time before doing exactly that. Twisting his fingers in his ears to get the ringing out, Xander asked again while giving his normal smile, "Sorry about that, what did you say?"

Xander's smile caused something to melt in the normally haughty young manager, and she felt a tingling from the lower regions of her body.

Traya though to herself, _'Perhaps I could offer Mr. Harris some "special" services courtesy of the hotel.'_ Traya subconsciously licked her lips while thinking.

Realizing that she had been checking out his body again, Traya blushed a bit before answering, "I asked if you could please be so kind as to…" Traya's statement was cut off by the sound of a klaxon blaring back in the room. Xander's eyes got large and he quickly darted back into the room.

Traya wandered into the room to see what exactly Mr. Harris was doing, and was surprised to see that all of the couches and furniture in the room had been pushed to the side and that the room was instead cluttered with large robotic metal presses, cutting shears, sheet buffers, something labeled a three dimensional laser cutter, and a giant drill press; all with electrical cables cluttering across the room where they were plugged into what appeared to be a simple black t-shirt.

Looking to where Xander was in the bathroom, Traya saw bubbling and fuming chemical beakers of every color and size simmering over small flames or chilled by tanks with liquid nitrogen warning symbols on the sides.

'_This is definitely the weirdest thing I've seen in a patron's room before,' _Traya thought to herself as she saw Xander stick his finger into a beaker and then taste the fluid that was on his finger. _'Still, I wouldn't mind getting a taste of him.'_ She thought as she watched Xander bend over the beakers and tasting the contents.

"Hmm, needs more arsenic." Xander mumbled to himself before running back into the main bedroom due to the sounds of a device on the bed that unfolded and started to repeatedly quack like a duck.

Traya heard Xander's statement and couldn't help blurting out, "Arsenic? Isn't that poisonous?" She questioned, her head following Mr. Harris's path from the bathroom to the living area.

Xander merely shrugged as he walked by, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." He stated with a smile.

'_Yep, definitely the weirdest. This even beats that singer who liked to dress his shih-tzu's up in Japanese kimonos for tea ceremonies while he wore only women's lingerie.'_ Traya stated, following the eccentric patron from one room into another.

"Come on, get in there." Xander growled as pulled an assortment of knives, full length swords and futuristic weapons out of his backpack and pilled them up on what appeared to be a black pair of long johns lying on the bed.

Traya stood there wide eyed and open mouthed as the pile of sharp metal and dangerous objects came out of the much too small bag and then were noisily absorbed by the shirt. Sure the weapons were disappearing into the long john material, but the noise while it was doing so sounded like Xander had an entire train yard of heavy machinery working.

Traya, a bit frightened at all the weapons in front of her yelled out, "Mr. Harris, it is illegal to bring those types of weapons into Bialya."

Xander merely waved away her concern before yelling back in answer, "Diplomatic Immunity." He stated with a bit of a smirk; the smirk and the weapons added a sense of danger to Xander's image, and Traya felt herself warming up.

Still, Traya had to do something about the terrible sounds issuing from the bed as the odd clothing seemed to snake out tentacles before forcefully pulling the weapons into its 2 dimensional mass.

Ever the consummate professional, Traya shook her head before yelling to Xander, "The Noise Mr. Harris, Can you do something about the Noise?" Traya waved her hands to draw Xander's attention as the sounds had gotten almost painfully loud at that point.

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the Noise!" Xander yelled back before looking around him quickly.

"Ah ha!" Xander yelled as his eyes lit up and he held up his finger like he had an idea.

Diving over the bed, Xander rolled across the floor before hopping up and then reaching into the seat cushions of one of the couches that was against the wall. Throwing bits of lint, a pair of discarded underwear, and a few loose coins over his shoulder as he dug through the cushions, Xander finally (and improbably) pulled out a tennis ball from beneath the cushions.

Chuckling a bit madly to himself, Xander skipped over to the metal shears and proceeded to cut the tennis ball in half while adding to the already loud screeching sounds of metal being absorbed into the clothing on the bed.

While the still stunned and confused Traya continued to watch, Xander whistled as he quickly walked back across the room to his backpack before sticking his arm all the way in to the shoulder. Digging around a bit, Xander finally pulled out of the backpack a rubber chicken and a pocket watch which he pulled apart with his hands until he could get at the squeaker from the chicken and some of the clock's gear works and timing mechanism.

Xander's hands seemed to blur as a roll of duct tape was pulled out of one of the robe's pockets, which was added to the tuning fork from behind his ear and used to build some sort of small device. When Xander finally pulled back, what was left was a little miniature device that looked like a satellite dish made from a tennis ball housed on top of some weird clockwork contraption with a tuning fork sticking out the side.

Whipping around to look at Traya with an almost insane smile across his face, Xander walked quickly towards Traya and swung his hand up towards her head faster than she could blink.

"Thanks! Just what I needed." Xander yelled over the sounds of the compressing metal as he pulled a bobby pin from Traya's hair before inserting it into the center of his half tennis ball satellite dish.

Traya was startled and put a hand to her throat as her adrenaline had spiked when Xander had walked towards her, but she quickly caught her breath as she watched what happened next.

With the addition of the bobby pin, the room suddenly went dead silent. Xander and Traya were left with a phantom ringing in their ears from the previous loud sounds, but were unable to even hear themselves breath or their own hearts beat.

Xander turned to speak to Traya, and though his mouth was moving, she didn't hear a thing.

Traya's eyebrows pinched together as she was confused with what was going on, so she tried to ask, "I'm sorry, I can't hear you." Yet nothing came out of her mouth.

Xander raised both hands in a shrug, before saying, "I'm sorry, I can't hear you, one second." Yet nothing coming out of his mouth either.

Still, Xander turned around and flicked the little device a few times with his finger, and suddenly Traya could again hear the sounds of her breathing and her heart beat again yet there was no sounds of screeching metal.

Xander turned around and gave Traya a heart melting smile again with a bit of a euphoric look on his face. "There we go, now I can hear you. I always love when an experiment goes right; especially when it doesn't accidentally explode and destroy the building I'm in." Xander mumbled the last part to himself.

Traya smiled back at Xander and took on a bit of a predatory look. "Well Mr. Harris, I had been sent up here to get the sound to stop, but since that is done, is there 'anything' else I can do for you?" Traya asked coyly, stressing the word 'anything' while at the same time clasping her hands behind her back; which made her chest more prominent.

Xander gave an honest smile back, "Nope, all good here unless you're good with a phase transducer?" Xander finished, misinterpreting the word 'anything' from this attractive hotel staff member.

Traya gave a confused look, before concentrating on what she wanted again. Traya tried again, walking one foot in front of the other towards Xander, such that her heels accentuated the sway in her hips, and only stopping when she was well inside Xander's comfort zone.

"Sorry, don't know what a phase transducer is, but it's almost time for a lunch break, could I interest you in 'something' for lunch?" She stated, peering up into his eyes while licking her lips.

Xander merely looked down at Traya quizzically, he really didn't have a clue what she was talking about and was currently busy trying to get the little voice in his head to shut up so that she could talk to the nice hotel manager in front of him.

'_Hey boss, she's trying to…" _The little voice stated in Xander's head before Xander interrupted him.

'_Shut up little voice, this isn't the time for your harem crap.'_ Xander groused mentally to himself.

'_But boss, she is trying to…'_ The little voice tried again.

'_I said enough, I probably look dumb standing in front of her staring down at her without answering.'_ Xander thought back briskly before smiling at Traya and answering.

"Sorry about that, got lost in my thoughts." Xander stated to her, and her smile started to grow, only for Xander to continue, "Yeah, does your room service have any steaks? Oh, and if there is any way I could get an order of Twinkies, that would be great. Thanks for offering to get me lunch." Xander said with a smile before patting his robes before pulling his wallet out of his pocket and handing Traya a hundred dollar bill.

Traya stared stunned, open mouthed at the money in her hands, then back at Xander who was smiling down at her, then back at the one hundred dollar bill.

Traya frowned at the same time that Xander noticed that the room had suddenly gotten chillier.

Traya took a step back and stilled her face into a blank mask, though there was a definite hint of the Queen C death glare coming from her eyes. "Yes sir, right away sir, thank you sir." She spat out before turning quickly on her heels and storming out of the room, slamming the door to the Xander's room; though it didn't make any sound due to Xander's sound dampener.

Xander quirked an eyebrow up as he realized that the nice hotel manager lady was suddenly weird and upset. Xander thought to himself, '_What was that about?'_

'_Sigh, never mind.'_ The little voice replied in the back of his head.

Xander merely shrugged and thought to himself, _'I'll never understand women.'_

With that, Xander turned back to the room and his experiments, just as the little voice in the back of his head sighed again, _'And I'll never get my harem, Sigh.'_

* * *

When it was late afternoon in Bialya, it was dawn in Las Vegas, which meant that Zatanna Zatarra was enjoying her time sleeping in after the closing of her last show the night before. Unfortunately, Zatanna's restful sleep was interrupted when a swirling disk of light and smoke appeared to the side of her bed, and then as if through a magical mirror appeared the face and upper torso of a dark haired man with piercing dark eyes and a well tailored suit.

"Zatanna." He stated through the mirror, and watched as his sleeping daughter just murmured in her sleep and rolled over.

"Zatanna! Wake up this instant." He ordered.

"Ugh, five more minutes." She mumbled and pulled the pillow over her head before rolling over and falling asleep again.

"Zatanna Zatarra! You wake up this instant young lady! Don't make me step through this portal." Giovanni 'John' Zatarra snapped, crossing his arms in frustration.

Zatanna shot straight up in bed wide eyed and looking around frantically until she saw the portal next to her bed and settled down a bit. Yawning, she stretched her flannel pajama clad arms up into the air; her pj's were rather cute for a woman her age with little white bunny rabbits hopping out of magician's hats all over the top and pants.

Smacking her lips, she smiled and said, "Good morning, Daddy. What can I help you with? I thought you were pretending to be dead so that you could focus on the hidden city?" She questioned while rubbing her eyes and running a hand through her hair that had been mussed by the pillow.

John glared but straightened his arms. Looking straight at Zatanna he answered, "Don't 'good morning daddy' me Zatanna, and I am in the Hidden City, or at least what I thought was a hidden city. Tell me, what do you know about a young man who can cover himself with quick silver and is immune to magic?" Zatanna's father demanded.

Zatanna stopped mid yawn, and turned wide eyes towards her father, "What did Xander do?" She stated, a bit scared.

John frowned, "Xander? Well this 'Xander' as you call him breached the wards and defenses on the only physical doorway into the Hidden City, helped destroy the market place, and then escaped after mentioning your name. Oh, and your grounded preemptively."

Zatanna sputtered, her father's words about Xander whipping through her head before the last thing he said filtered through her mind and she wheeled on him petulantly. "Daddy! You can't ground me, I'm an adult! Besides, who I date is none of your business." She spat back while crossing her arms over her chest in a pout.

John Zatarra's eyes darkened and his brows furrowed together, "Dated? You dated this man? First you go off to Tantric magic classes with John Constantine, and now you are dating men who are not only non-Homo-Magi but also are immune to magic? That's it, you're grounded young lady." John spat back, the overly protective father mode coming on strongly.

Zatanna pouted even more, "But daddy, it was only a one night stand…" She stated, only to cover her mouth quickly while her eyes shot open wide at what she had just let slip.

John Zatarra's face started to go blood red, and a vein in his forehead started to throb, "You let…! That man! Grrrrrrr…. That's it!" He shouted, "You are to be at Shadowcrest Mansion in two hours, and you are grounded until we discuss your ability to learn wisdom from your elders and how to make better choices."

"But Daddy!" Zatanna started, only for her father to cut her off.

"Ah, I don't want to hear it. Don't make me step through there and bind your powers or you'll be sitting in your room inside a containment circle for the next month. Now I expect you to be at the mansion in no later than two hours, and you should warn the Justice League that you will be unavailable for the next month." John ordered, crossing his arms and commanding his daughter.

"A whole month? But I'm an adult father." Zatanna whined.

"Ah ah, not another word. You're only an adult if I say you are an adult. And obviously your decision making shows that you aren't ready to be an adult yet, now get moving young lady." John demanded, and the viewing portal swirled and then drifted away as dissipating smoke.

Zatanna stayed in her bed, crossing her arms and pouting for another minute.

"MOVE IT YOUNG LADY!" The voice of John Zatarra boomed across the room, shaking books and pictures off their shelves.

Zatanna "EEEP'd" and started scurrying to get packed to go back to the mansion.

* * *

Meanwhile back in Gotham city…

Batman pulled the Batmobile into its parking place in the middle of the Batcave and waited as the turntable in the floor rotated the car so that it was pointed back at the entrance to the cavern.

The top of the sleek vehicle rolled back and Batman pulled himself out of the driver's seat with a grunt of pain as his bruised ribs and the slice on his chest caused him a bit of pain.

"Good evening, Master Bruce. I've taken the initiative to prepare you a small dinner to hold you over while I bandage your wounds. Were you successful tonight, Sir?" Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne's butler and the man who had raised him, questioned while standing in his immaculate butler's uniform with a tray of sandwiches on a silver platter in his hands, a towel over his arm, and a first aid kit on a strap over his shoulder.

Wanting nothing more than to update his notes on the Joker before getting his three hours of nightly sleep, Bruce pulled his cowl off his face before accepting the towel from Alfred and proceeding towards the seat in front of the Batcomputer.

Bruce sighed as he gently set himself down in the chair before answering, "The Joker is back in Arkham, but his hyenas gave me a nice gash before I was able to knock them all out." Bruce answered Alfred in his normal growly voice while simultaneously logging into the computer and pulling up the details on the Joker.

Sticking a sandwich in his mouth, Alfred assisted Bruce in removing the armor weaved shirt and cape that was part of the batman outfit. Bruce then moved forward in his seat so that Alfred could wrap the bandages around his chest.

Like a habitual practice that was done every night, Bruce worked on the computer while Alfred worked on bandaging Mr. Wayne.

The large screen flashed the face of The Joker on it, his grinning pale visage taking up half the screen while the other half held details about plans and counters to the Joker's actions. Every engagement with the Joker was logged and weaknesses were noted for future use.

Bruce grunted as Alfred pulled the wrapping on Batman's ribs tight, and then Bruce hit the enter key on the computer; changing the Joker's status from "at large" to "detained."

Every night was the same, Bruce left as Batman. Batman chased and caught a villain. Batman returned to the Batcave where he resumed his persona of Bruce and was bandaged by Alfred.

Bruce reached for another sandwich and stuck it in his mouth, right as something different happened.

The image of a floating electronic copy of a mail envelope flittered across the screen, until it took up the whole image of the computer's monitor. Bruce stopped mid bite, and even the unflappable Alfred paused in his tying of the wrappings on the bandages as the speakers on the Batcomputer said, "You've Got Mail!" in a sing songy voice.

As Bruce Wayne and Alfred Pennyworth stared at the screen, the digital letter unfolded and a message was silently displayed to read:

Dear Bruce, or do you prefer Batman?

Anyway, I noticed that you had plans and contingencies for dealing with your friends and enemies alike. Naughty boy, bad bat! You shouldn't treat your friends that way, and you never know who will access your systems and use them against you. Thus I've taken all of your plans for dealing with heroes, but left you the ones dealing with the villains. Naughty boy, no bat treats for you.

Signed,

Anonymous

Bruce stared at the screen for a moment as his visage grew darker. Tearing the sandwich out of his mouth with a growl, Batman furiously typed on his keyboard and called up the encrypted folder that held all of his plans for if he ever had to neutralize other Justice League heroes.

They were gone. The file was empty.

"Damn it!" Bruce cursed, "Computer, bring up security logs for access to the Batcave, report all incidences of trespass near the Batcomputer for the last twenty four hours." Batman commanded.

An image of a black bat appeared on the screen with a timer in the middle of it. Finally the clock hands wound all the way around.

A feminine voice replied, "Access log request completed. Computer accessed in the last twenty four hours by Batman only. No additional physical or electronic access acknowledged," the voice completed calmly.

Batman was anything but calm as his thoughts raced through who could have hacked into his system and stolen the information.

"Computer, connect me to Oracle." Bruce commanded, and a slight symbol of a ringing red phone appeared before a green digital image of a Greek Delphic face appeared on the screen.

"Oracle here, how can I help you?" The voice of the mysterious Oracle came over the speakers. There were only three known people in the world who knew that the Oracle was really Barbara Gordon, the daughter of Police Commissioner Gordan. Shot and paralyzed by the Joker, the once Batgirl 'Babs' Gordon now helped support the crime fighting heroes through the use of her incredible computer hacking and intelligence gathering abilities.

"This is Bruce, put every type of encryption you can on this line and let me know when you've got it running." Batman ordered darkly.

The sounds of a few clicks was heard, before the line went dead for a second, and then a tone sounded before Barbara's voice was heard again, "We're secure, what's going on that the normal Oracle defenses and Batcomputer encryption wasn't good enough?" She queried.

"The Batcomputer's been hacked." Batman explained simply, his fingers flying over the controls of the keyboard to start bringing up every backup and secondary backup command and tracking subroutine that he had installed in the computer to not only prevent this type of thing from happening but also to track those who ever even tried to hack the super computer.

"What!" Babs spat out before her voice took on a business tone of voice, "I'm running the black hat background programs and the code line checks now, and nothing is coming up as tampered with or accessible via outside sources. It will take me a while but I'll parse out all of the relay codes for the last week to see if anything changed or if there was a backdoor we missed. Do you have any hints at who would do this?" She finished with a question while the sound of her fingers dancing over computer keys was heard in the background.

"They took specific files, files I was warned to delete by the Grey Knight." Bruce relayed as he continued to run routines on the computer to see if any outside access had connected into the computer. The computer kept telling him that the only use of the Batcomputer had been by Bruce himself and via the controls in the Batcave. Growling to himself, Batman continued, "The Grey Knight hinted that I needed to get rid of some contingency plans that I had or they could be used against me. However the email that was sent to me comes across as particularly playful and calls me a naughty boy." Bruce continued.

A muffled laugh could be heard to come from Oracle, and Bruce glared at the screen.

"Ok, sorry, but somebody calling the Dark Knight of Gotham a 'naughty boy' does come across as a little humorous." Oracle explained, "The only people I've heard refer to you as a naughty something or other would be Catwoman or perhaps Poison Ivy." Barbara added her two bits as both Oracle and Batman continued to type furiously on their computers.

Alfred walked up with a cup of coffee and held it out to Bruce, who took and drank the still steaming liquid without so much as a word or a wince at the heat of the brew.

"Blech." Bruce stopped typing to look at Alfred questioningly.

"I thought you needed the caffeine Sir, unfortunately all we had was the Nescafe instant coffee that was a year old. We are out of our supply of Sparkbucks coffee sir." Alfred stated simply before turning and leaving Batman to his work.

Bruce stopped to wipe his tongue on the back of his hand and smacked his lips for a second to get the bad taste out of his mouth before going back to typing.

"Barbara, cross reference Catwoman and the Grey Knight, and then give me a report on any connections. Also look up The Leviathan to see if he has any connections with either Catwoman or Poison Ivy. I'm reviewing the security tapes on fast forward now." Batman explained, while a section of the screen flashed up the image from the Batcave's security camera that was focused on the Batcomputer.

Both Bruce and Oracle were quiet as they worked. Batman watched the screen, and sure enough the only image of a person to grace the video recording was of Bruce working away at the Batcomputer at several periods of time. There were no flashes of light that would suggest that the Grey Knight, Leviathan, or one of their people had entered the Batcave.

'_But with their advanced technology, there is no telling what they could do._' Batman thought quickly while counter plans filtered through his head regarding dealing with the self proclaimed cross-dimensional cousins.

Barbara's voice interrupted Batman's introspection, "The only known relations or contacts of the Grey Knight are his black armored soldiers and The Leviathan. I'm seeing reports starting to filter out of Romania and Kasnia regarding larger than normal fruit and vegetables which could suggest a connection with Poison Ivy." Barbara stated, only for Bruce to add some facts to the puzzle.

"Only Poison Ivy is currently detained in Arkham's high security wards, I was there earlier tonight and doubled checked that the usual rogues gallery was still accounted for." Bruce stated while rubbing his chin in thought, "Besides, Pamela Isley has never been known to help regular humans with her plants. Her large vegetables would be more likely to eat the normal citizens rather than allowing the humans to eat them." Batman finished, remembering instances where Poison Ivy had attacked with giant man-eating pumpkins and other types of vicious vegetation.

"Well there are rumors of Romania turning into a pristine place without any pollution. That could account for some of her involvement, but doesn't explain the situation given that she is still in prison." Oracle replied and both were silent as they continued to try and solve the latest problem to face them.

After several minutes Barbara finally gave Bruce some more news, "I have a video recording of Selina Kyle leaving the Gotham Airport via private charter three weeks ago, though I lost track of her when she reached Europe." Babs hummed to herself in thought for a moment and the sound of her clicking computer keys continued for a second before she added, "I'm seeing a burglary in the Zurich diamond market that could have been her, and four days later the Royal House of Saud made a report with Interpol regarding the theft of some emeralds which had been labeled the 'Eyes of Bast,' named after the Egyptian Goddess of cats."

"Hmmmm, well there goes our best leads. I still think that we are on the right track but obviously haven't arranged all of the puzzle pieces together yet." Bruce stated with a frown; he hated not knowing the answer to a puzzle like this, especially one that was in regard to the security of his identity.

"I'll forward the message to you. Maybe you can find something from it." Batman stated gravelly.

"Will do." Barbara Gordan answered before adding, "Do you want help trying to recreate or pull up backups on the lost files?"

Bruce clicked a couple of keys and was rewarded with the answer that he expected he would find, "No, they obviously aren't safe enough on the computer, and the backups are missing also. No, you focus on trying to find Catwoman and The Grey Knight, I have a feeling that wherever they are, they are up to no good."

* * *

It was night time, and Xander's room was put back into its original configuration with the furniture nicely and neatly situated about the room in its original position. The leftovers and Twinkie wrappers from the dessert portion of his late lunch were sitting in front of the couch on the long coffee table and all of the machinery and chemicals that had cluttered the room were either put back in Xander's backpack or had been incorporated into the almost spandex like black tights and long sleeved shirt that Xander was currently wearing.

Xander stared at his reflection in the floor to ceiling mirror that took up an entire wall of the bathroom.

Turning from side to side, Xander noted that the seam between the shirt portion and the pants portion of the upgraded nano-clank armored clothing had fused together like it was meant to. "Sure beats the silver color," Xander said to himself as he admired several hours worth of work.

Taking a big breath to still his mind, Xander started testing out his new system by giving his nano-clothing mental commands through his own internal systems.

'_Ok, clear.'_ Xander thought, and the suit went translucent so that it looked like Xander was naked.

'_Black again.'_ He thought, and the suit once again turned back into its solid midnight black color. The fabric of the material, if clothing made from trillions of microscopic nano-clanks could be called fabric, resumed its form fitting spandex shape; showing off every muscle and curve on Xander's body.

'_Mask on._' Xander ordered and the black nano-weave fabric oozed up his face quickly to fully cover his head and hide his facial features in a similar manner as The Question; only now Xander was a faceless man in what looked like a solid black bodysuit.

"Cool!" Xander stated with a smile as he noticed that the clanks were correctly filtering the air that he was breathing and still allowing him to get the oxygen he needed while expelling the excess carbon dioxide. Optical sensors linked to the tiny machines allowed him to see details and computer information beamed in front of his eyes via the suit's sensors; similar to functions of The Leviathan's helmet.

Xander then raised his hands to the side and commanded, "Initiate weapons test, go."

First claws grew from his outstretched finger tips, and then retracted. Then the familiar claws so similar to the Marvel comic character Wolverine seemed to slide out from between where his knuckles were, and then they retracted.

At this point Xander hovered into the air with his flight abilities, as the second part of the weapons formation test began.

Ridges and rings of spikes formed out of his arms, quickly expanded and retracted, followed by spikes forming along the other parts of his body until they all shot out at the same time, making Xander look like some deranged copy of a pinhead or sea anemone.

Xander lowered himself to the ground, and held out his hands, just as a long katana like sword grew in the grasp of his right hand, before shrinking to dagger size and then disappearing. This was mirrored in his left hand before that weapon also shrunk.

'_Ok, here goes nothing.'_ Xander thought to himself as the particle beam and projectile weapon systems were the next to be tested; though not fired.

A simple pistol formed in his right hand, then another in his left. The guns then blurred as they changed shape into sawed-off shotguns, machine pistols and then different types of one handed energy weapons; the maw of the weapon glowing an eerie blue, green, or red depending on the weapon that had just formed in his hands.

Then the rest of the suit on Xander's body began to change shape. Like a Vuldarian Warrior from the DC comic book universe, a race that could literally turn parts of their body's into weapons, Xander's arms became glowing cannons, then miniguns, and then plasma launchers, and crossbows popped out on his shoulders before being retracted. A myriad of weapons from rocket launchers to even a large glowing chest weapon were formed; Xander could now form his suit into any of the weapons that he had piled onto his suit and let it absorb.

"Sweet!" Xander stated with a large smile as the test came to a finish and he was left staring at his 'spandex' complexion once again.

'_Not that I really have had any training with these things, but I'd rather have access to the weapons rather than need them and not have them. Murphy would make sure I needed them if I thought about it and didn't end up adding them.'_ Xander thought to himself while he examined his arms and body in the mirror to make sure it had returned to its base form.

"Ok, color and image change." Xander ordered before having a mischievous glint come to his eye.

"Batman." Xander said, and immediately his costume flowed until the trademarked grey suit with black cowl, cape and gloves adorned him, Xander's eyes and mouth visible.

Xander swirled the cape around him, then said to his image in an imitation of Batman's growly voice, "I'm Batman! Would you like to be Robin? You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Xander stated, posing before the mirror before breaking down laughing.

When he caught his breath again, Xander went through some more costume changes, "Superman" and the blue and red outfit was on him, his face was fully open to be viewed. "Black Adam" was followed by the proper costume, just as "Green Lantern" and even "Dr. Fate" worked to give him the appropriate outfits.

As Xander said "Dr. Fate" the gold helmet and armor formed around him, and a tingling sensation hit his body as if magic was trying to be used on him. Xander's eyes shot wide and he quickly commanded the outfit to go back to normal.

As soon as the costume switched from being a copy of Dr. Fate's Sorcerer Supreme outfit the magic feeling stopped tingling. Xander looked around carefully before giving a sigh of relief.

"Whew… I really hate magic." He stated before looking back at his mirror image and turning from side to side again.

The full black colored image with the featureless face stared back at Xander from the mirror.

Xander turned his head to the side for a moment before commanding, "Smile." And a big creepy almost Gumby clay like smile spread across the featureless face, looking more Cheshire Cat than human.

"God, that's just creepy." Xander stated, and mentally told the smile to disappear. _'Apparently not everything is working properly,'_ Xander finished thinking before deciding to finish the test.

"Xan-man clothes" Xander stated, and his black spandex dribbled off of his face and arms until he was once again in his usual brightly colored Hawaiian shirt, jeans and boots.

Xander smiled before mentally flipping through his normal clothes ensembles; everything from more Hawaiian shirts to the black long sleeved shirt and tighter black cargo pants that he had been running in when he arrived in Turkey.

Xander's smile grew larger, before finishing off with the final test of his upgraded nano-clank clothing.

"Predator mode," Xander said with a mischievous smirk.

The Hawaiian shirt and jeans turned back into the full body covering black spandex before blurring and then seeming to disappear.

"Awesome! BWA HA HA HA HA HA!" Xander's said as he broke down laughing, evil thoughts about what he would have used this ability for back in Sunnydale's girl's locker room coming to mind.

Xander waved his hand in front of his face, and only a slight distortion was seen as the nano-clanks on one side communicated and projected the image from behind him onto Xander, thus rendering him almost invisible with a chameleon type camouflage system.

Xander continued to madly laugh to himself as thoughts of prank possibilities ran rampant through his head. "Plasma shooter" Xander coughed out between bouts of laughter, and the trademark three dot laser site of the plasma launcher from the movie "Predator" shown on the side wall where Xander aimed it.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha! HA HA HA HA HA, heh… heh…" Xander struggled to bring his laughter under control and ended up giving little giggles as he geeked out and couldn't help but enjoy it.

"Jonathan and Andrew would be so jealous." Xander said aloud as he appeared again and the plasma launcher absorbed back into the shoulder of his armor.

Xander took one more look at himself in the mirror, clapped his hands before rubbing them together and stated, "Screw going to dinner just yet, I've got to try this out."

With that, Xander was a black blur out of the bathroom. The only evidence that Xander had been in the suite was the open doors to the balcony and the slightly waving curtains that had been caught up in the breeze of Xander's passage.

* * *

That night, the country of Bialya had more alien and ghost sightings than in the past several decades combined.

Because there wasn't really any crime to disrupt in the country, Xander decided to break in his suit through the use of pranks and mischief.

The evening had just gotten dark, and Xander's black suit blended in well with the night sky, only broken up by the backlight of the stars as it was a moonless night. Couples were walking some of the tourist districts of the capital city, and these would be Xander's beginning targets.

"Tap Tap." Xander started out with an oldy but a goody as he floated above a man walking down the street by himself before lightly tapping the man on the shoulder.

"Huh?" The man turned around to look behind him, only to not see anybody around him. "Hmm, must have imagined it." The man said with a shrug before continuing his path.

A minute later Xander floated back from above the man and tapped the man on the other shoulder.

The man again whipped around to see if somebody was behind him, but again saw nothing but the nearly empty street. The nearest person to him was a good block away.

The man was a bit more confused, but began to walk again, every so often looking over his shoulder or behind him.

When the man finally stopped checking behind himself after about five minutes, Xander again tapped the man on the shoulder, causing the man to swing with his hands wildly behind him, but missing Xander totally as he used his speed and flight to be out of range.

"Who's there!" The man yelled, looking down the street behind him.

"Tap Tap," Came on the man's shoulder from the direction he had just been walking in, but was now behind him.

As the man turned around quickly, Xander made a mental command, _'Glow in the dark green,'_ Xander commanded with an internal chuckle.

The man turned around to face a glowing ghostly figure without a face, and his eyes grew large.

"BOO." Xander said, doing his best Willow on Halloween imitation.

"AHHHHHHH Ghost!" The man yelled and took off sprinting down the street.

The moment the man had turned around to run, Xander had again initiated the predator camouflage and disappeared into the night air chuckling to himself.

Xander next turned his attention to the palace of The Queen Bee, the dictator of the country.

There, Xander visited the palace's kitchens before systematically adding clear gelatin powder to the water in every toilet he came across; followed up by using clear cling wrap to cover the toilet seats.

Xander then activated the sound dampening system that he had created earlier, and installed in his armor after Traya left, before he proceeded to string toilet paper all over the canopy bed of the Queen Bee while the Queen Bee herself was taking a shower in the attached master bathroom. Finally, to top off the juvenile pranks he played on the palace, Xander even added a complete box of choco-lax chocolate laxatives into a bowl of chocolate pudding that a chef had left refrigerating overnight; the choco-lax unknowingly 'donated' from the medicine cabinet of the palace's chief butler.

Such was Xander's luck that he got off scott free with his pranks, and though he probably wouldn't hear about the results, he was happy to do his little part to stick it to the Man… or Woman in this case.

'_I feel a little hypocritical pranking another dictator, but Eh, it's not like I drug up my people so that they can't leave my country.'_ Xander thought.

'_No, you just make sure that the nano-clank injections dissolve whenever somebody attempts to take a blood sample, x-rays or scans then, or tries to cross the border with them in their system.' _A snide voice said in the back of Xander's head.

Xander shrugged to himself as he couldn't debate that, but he still felt that the Queen Bee had crossed a line that Xander had not.

After that thought, Xander decided to return to the hotel to grab some dinner.

As he neared the hotel from the air Xander was startled to catch movement in the shadows of one of the chimneys clear across the resort grounds on the roof of one of the private villas that were available for larger groups of people.

Xander's enhanced night vision, a mix of technology from the nano-clanks and from the leftovers of the primal spirit, let him clearly view a lithe figure flip off the roof and carefully land on a railing of a balcony; landing as gracefully as a cat.

"I tink I saw a puddy tat." Xander said to himself, doing a Tweety-Bird imitation from some Saturday morning cartoons he had seen as a child.

Xander was feeling especially playful after the early evening he had just had, and he was up for maybe having some fun taunting the burglar or intruder who was sneaking into the villa.

'_Hey, taunting always worked for dealing with vamps and big bad's, why should this be any different?'_ Xander thought to himself with a little mental shrug and a smile.

Silently, Xander ghosted down through the air to hover near the balcony where the dark figure had disappeared in through the open balcony doors. A hint of sparkle was seen to reflect a bit of starlight as the figure slid a diamond necklace into some sort of pouch on the side of their waist.

Xander waited silently, floating above the balcony in his head to toe black nano-clank covering and waited to get a closer look at the cat burglar.

'_Talk about cat burglar!' _Xander thought with a mental wolf whistle as he hovered in the air outside the doors and got a clear view of the form fitting, black cat-suit wearing, feminine thief who slinked out of the doors and then swung her whip which wrapped around the chimney.

Catwoman, the famous thief from Gotham, was well outside her normal stomping grounds. However Xander certainly didn't mind as he enjoyed watching her sexy figure while she used her whip to easily climb back to the rooftop.

Xander hovered closer as he saw Catwoman start to wind up her whip.

"I did see a puddy tat! I did! I did!" Xander stated softly with a smirk on his lips as he was floating a few feet behind one of the greatest pair of black leather encased legs and rear he had ever seen.

Catwoman flinched slightly at the same time that she fluidly spun around.

The world slowed down for Xander as he saw the black whip unfurl and fly right towards his head. However Xander was getting used to this super speed thing, so simply dodged his head to the left while he casually reached up and grabbed the tip of the whip out of the air before it could make a cracking sound.

Catwoman's whip snapped out to where the voice had come from, and she spun around just in time to see a dark floating figure dodge its head to the side in a blur and catch the end of her whip.

She was wide eyed for a second that the figure could have snuck up on her as quietly as Batman did, but even more so when the figure put a finger to where his lips should have been and said.

"Shhh, quiet. You'd think that the great Catwoman would realize that cracking a whip over the site of a burglary would be a bad idea." He said, quirking his head to the side.

Catwoman gave a little "Grrrrr" before letting go of the whip and skipping backwards, the metal stilettos on her boots whipping up towards the chin of the figure as she back flipped away and across the roof.

Xander dodged backwards, bending at the waist so that the stilettos didn't puncture up through his chin; not that they could have penetrated the nano-clank armor.

Xander was left staring at the fleeing figure of Catwoman as she darted across the rooftop and then leapt onto the clay shingles of a nearby rooftop as silently as, well as silently as a cat.

'_Moment of truth here guys, do we arrest her, or just have some fun? Frankly I could care less if she stole some heavily insured diamond necklace.'_ Xander offered up his thought.

The answer of _'Harem Harem Harem!'_ drowned out all the other voices in his head and made Xander smile; he decided that playing was the answer for the night.

Xander just smiled bigger, _'I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave.'_ He thought with a mental quip before taking a quick look at the whip left dangling in his hand. With a shrug, Xander absorbed the whip into the palm of the suit's right hand before zipping through the air to the rooftop that Catwoman was running on and immediately started running across the shingled surface; his super speed allowing Xander to easily catch up to her and pace her run in a blink of an eye.

"Aren't you a little far from Gotham?" Xander quipped from Catwoman's left while he effortlessly paced her.

Startled eyes swung to look at him in surprise before she changed course mid-step and pivoted into a roundhouse kick that Xander again easily dodged.

The roundhouse kick was followed by a sweeping leather clad leg that attempted to take Xander out at the ankles before it was followed up with a pair of clawed hands trying to rake his face.

"Whoa there little missy, what's got your dander up?" Xander quipped with a smile in his voice as he first ducked the flying roundhouse, floated over the attempted ankle sweep and then caught both of her hands at the wrists, a good five inches in front of his face.

Catwoman growled as she felt her hands catch short of their mark, and followed up with a strong knee to the groin of the male figure that held her.

"Doing!" The sound of bone and flesh bouncing off of metal reverberated off the roof, and Catwoman was left with a numb and quite bruised knee as her leg bounced off of Xander's upgraded armor.

Selina thrashed about in the immovable grasp of the figure, struggling to get loose of the hands that held her wrists as tightly as steel bands but which didn't painfully crush her.

An attempted knee to the ribs was followed by a high kick where she snaked her non-injured leg in between their bodies and into the splits in order to get at the blank faced figure's head with her stiletto heel.

Xander smiled to himself as he held the struggling thief, only to end up in a bit of an awkward position when he dodged his head to the side to miss getting hit with the high flying boot and ended up pulling Catwoman closer to him and trapping her against him with her one leg up in the air pinned against his shoulder and the other on the ground as her only support.

This is where Xander realized a mistake he made in upgrading the armor; no room for 'growth' in the crotch portion of the armor.

'_Shit!'_ Xander thought as the normal teenaged male reaction to having a hot leather encased woman pressed against his body started to 'rise' but was limited due to the protective nature of his armor. It really didn't help that with Catwoman doing the splits and continuing to thrash against him she was unconsciously rubbing her crotch up against Xander's and was in effect giving him every comic book fanboy's dream come true lap-dance.

"Ow, um Selina." Xander started to say, but was ignored as Catwoman continued to struggle against him.

"Damn-it Selina stop moving!" Xander said as the pressure of his penis against the inside wall of the metal form fitting armor built up. Xander quickly whipped his arms around to move Catwoman's hands behind her back, basically hugging her to him and fortunately stopping her squirming as she realized she was well and totally caught.

Unfortunately for Xander though, he now had a pair of rather nice leather encased breasts pressed up around her leg and into his chest. Added to this was that Catwoman's normal mode of operation was that if force doesn't work, try seduction.

Catwoman was initially startled by the use of her real name, but that really only gave Xander a second's respite before she turned on the seduction skills that she used to throw males off balance.

"Well then big boy, isn't this cozy." Selina Kyle purred up at the taller figure in black that held her immobile.

Xander wasn't too sure who was in control of the situation any more, and the pain in the crotch was a bit of a distraction. "Um, yeah, um, well, Heh… Didn't mean for it to come out like this." Xander said a bit tensely, not quite sure what to do as he blushed under his armor.

"Oh really, what, don't like it?" Catwoman said in a sultry voice as she lightly rubbed her lower section against Xander's crotch back and forth.

"Eeep, um, yeah, that's the problem, apparently I didn't calibrate the armor for certain um, problems." Xander said, wincing a bit under the armor but unseen by Catwoman due to the faceless nature of his armor.

Selina chuckled seductively, not able but to find humor in the situation. "So what do you propose then? You obviously have me at a… disadvantage." She stated, before going up on the toes of her standing leg in order to rub a slight circle on Xander lap.

"Grrt," Xander groaned and clenched his teeth before squeaking out, "Well I just wanted to," He started to say, but his voice came out a bit higher pitched then he planned on it coming out. Xander swallowed while Catwoman laughed at his expense again.

Stilling himself mentally, Xander started again, "Well honestly I was just having a bit of fun tonight and wanted to talk. So how about I let you go, and we have a bit of a chat without you running off or trying to attack me again?"

Catwoman stopped struggling or rubbing up against him for a moment and thought before answering, "And what if I don't want to chat for a little bit?" She questioned playfully as she looked up at him with her blue eyes staring through her cat's eyed goggles.

Xander shrugged, "Well far be it from me to stop a lady out for a simple night's stroll, but I'd figure that it's the nature of a cat to be curious; especially about something or someone who knows all about their real identity, Ms. Selina Kyle of Gotham City. What would the Armless Master think of his pupil running away without the answers to her questions?" Xander answered, a bit of smile coming across in his voice as he made an offer he knew she wouldn't refuse.

Selina looked up at him through the eyeholes of her black mask and blinked at this new twist to the situation. A moment later she smiled up at the dark figure, "Ha, ok you've got me, and it's not like you couldn't capture me again just as quickly, so what do I have to lose." She finished before adding a question, "But when we are finished, are you going to let me go?"

"My word as a gentleman that you can go free." Xander quipped back, but then realizing the situation that they were in together and that it probably wasn't a proper position for a 'gentleman' to be in. He finished as he let her loose and stepped back from her while turning briefly to arrange himself.

Selina brought her leg down as he backed up, and then shook out her shoulders and hands from being pinned behind her back before coyly answering back, "You're not like any hero I've come across before. Who are you?"

Xander smirked to himself before remembering something he had done with his armor earlier that night. With a mental command and a statement, Xander's armor morphed into the black cowl and cape of the Dark Knight of Gotham.

"I'm Batman!" Xander said, turning his head to the side and striking a pose with both hands on his hips while thrusting out his chest.

Catwoman was stunned.

Selina's jaw dropped open, wide eyed staring at Xander as he struck a corny pose in the armor of her main adversary and sometimes love interest.

Xander held the pose for a second before turning to smile at Catwoman. She in turn wasn't sure whether to be scared at the visage of a grinning Batman, or to crack up laughing. She ended up giggling.

"He heh he. Ha ha ha ha! You know, Ha ha, He'd probably give up on his oath to not kill if he heard you had worn his outfit." She finished, continuing to laugh and by this point having to support herself on her knees as she was struck by a fit of giggles.

Xander just smiled and shrugged before mentally ordering his armor back to its normal mode of all black and face covering, "Eh, I'm not going to tell him if you aren't." Xander said with a smile.

Catwoman straightened up and started to stroll towards Xander before carefully sliding a finger along Xander's chest and then over his shoulder as she continued to walk around him in a strut, "And what's in it for me?" She quipped playfully as she walked her fingers up his chest and over his shoulder as she circled him in a prowl.

Xander looked over his left shoulder to watch her as she strolled around him, the epitome of feline feminine grace.

Xander smiled under his mask and shrugged, "Well I was going to let you go, but if you really want me to turn you into the police along with that diamond necklace you stole…" Xander left the statement unsaid.

Selina pouted, her dark red lipstick making it come off more seductive than petulant, "Hmph, well if you want to be that way, fine, I won't say a word. Now who are you, I'm sure I would have heard about a hero with your speed and strength in Gotham, and that's the only way I could think you would know who I am and where I got my training?" She posited as she continued her stroll to stop before Xander.

'_I love his ass, and the way that suit hugs his muscles, purrfectly yummy.'_ Selina thought to herself with a little smirk as she finished walking around him and waited for his answer.

Xander smiled under his mask and shrugged before answering, "Eh, not much of the hero type. Not to say that I don't help people, they just aren't here at the moment. But I'm not a villain either, um." Xander started off simply, but ended up babbling out the rest; which caused Catwoman to laugh at his antics. "As far as Gotham goes, well I've been there, but only for less than a few hours." He finished, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck as he remembered breaking into the Batcave.

"So what are you then? You are a man, right?" She said, laying a hand against her hip and only accentuating her curves and grace when she did so.

"Yep, dyed in the wool, card carrying member of the man club, born and bred. My friends call me Xander." He answered honestly without really thinking about giving out his name.

'_Smooth move ex-lax.' _The voice of the primal growled at Xander in his mind as Xander did a bit of a mental cringe before figuring that the damage was done anyway so might as well be honest.

'_Frankly guys, it's not like she could do anything to us and we haven't been hiding during this trip.'_ Xander replied with a mental shrug before listening to Catwoman again.

Catwoman raised an eyebrow, "Xander? That's not a super hero's name that I've ever heard before, what does it mean?" She questioned.

Xander laughed in reply, "Xander is short for Alexander, Alexander Harris at your service Mademoiselle." He stated with a mock bow, "It's like if you called yourself by the name Selina rather than Catwoman." Xander was enjoying just being himself and not having to hide away what he could do, and he figured that it wouldn't hurt to talk to Selina as himself.

'_Yeah dude, be true to yourself man. This is your trip to find yourself, your path to Nirvana man. Besides, it's not like the news isn't already talking about the thwarted bombing in Turkey.'_ The voice of Xander's inner Californian stated to him around the sound of 'medicinal' bong hits.

'_Just like Tony Stark being known as Iron Man, it's going to help with the ladies if they know you're a super. Just think of the Harem potential.'_ The little voice of Xander's libido pleaded in Xander's head; trying to get back on track with the pursuit of the harem since Xander had lost ground earlier in the day when he turned down Traya's advances.

'_But weren't we trying to stay out of the view of the super villains and heroes?' _The voice of logical reasoning questioned while polishing his glasses.

Xander's devil's advocate voice added, _'Eh, he's already going to take out Lex Luthor, and there is no way with his luck that he won't tangle with every hero or villain from here to the other side of the world while he's traveling around. After the run in with that bomber, well he might as well start making the name for himself that he wants, rather than letting other's make a name for him based on what they believe.'_

All of the other voices were quiet for a moment, before they all stated, _'Agreed.'_ Well, all except for the voice of insanity, who just answered, _'Turquoise.'_ However none of the voices listened to that answer, as all men know that Turquoise isn't a real color; and neither is Salmon for that matter.

With that Xander mentally activated his facial cover to slip down so that he could be face to face with Catwoman while giving her a toothy grin.

Now Xander didn't realize it, in his mind he was still that donut retrieving King of Cretins from Sunnydale. But the reality was that with Halloween night he had inherited the muscled physique of an Olympic athlete and the smile and sparkle of a true hero. In the universe that was Girl Genius and where the Heterodynes harkened from, a heroic spark could inspire not only with their voice, but with a mere smile and a sparkle of the eye. It was that type of look that when the villain had the maiden on the tracks and was twirling his mustache, the hero would ride in on his charger and with nothing but a smile and a 'tally-ho' save the day. Take the Heterodyne makeup and add it to that of Othar Tryggvassen, Gentleman Adventurer, and Xander had grown into the classic epitome of what a 'hero' would look like, even if Xander denied being a hero. It was genetic, it was the Spark, and Xander had it in spades. Add to that the fact that the Amazo nano-clanks had slowly changed Xander's body to have the muscle mass of Superman and the definition of The Flash, and well, Xander was a stud.

Xander smiled at Selina and Selina's brain hiccupped as all she could think was, '_Meooow, Kitty Likes!_'

Xander continued talking as Catwoman just continued to kind of stare at him, "Anyway, so I was originally trying to stay out of view, but I decided oh about a second ago, that life is more fun when I can just be myself." Xander finished with a shrug while trying to fill the silence before smiling at Selina again.

Xander's second smile at Catwoman made her heart skip a beat and she felt a bit of a flush run through her body before she visibly shivered and brought herself under control, _'Down girl, it's no time to be acting like this guy is a big batch of catnip.' _She thought to herself before his words triggered in her mind and she raised a well manicured eyebrow behind her mask.

"So wait, no secret identity? No hiding your name? Aren't you worried about somebody finding out who you are in your normal life?" Selina questioned as she subconsciously started swaying back and forth a bit like a cat deciding whether or not to pounce on a toy.

"Ha! Normal life? I don't do normal, or I should say that normal doesn't do Xander." Xander quipped, chuckling at her comment as he really thought about his situation.

"Besides, if anybody wanted to try and mess with my so called 'Normal life' then they would be in for a bigger problem than just screwing with me personally. Let's just say that my 'family' that's around here each come backed up by their own personal militaries and are a lot nastier than I am." Xander stated, thinking about what would happen if anybody tangled with his Grey Knight or Leviathan personas.

"Frankly, anybody who even thought about messing with those I consider my friends or family wouldn't have long to learn the error of their ways." Xander finished, with a bit of a nasty grin that cast a dark shadow across his face.

Catwoman just stared at Xander as he spoke, and with his last statement Xander's visage seemed to grow darker, while power seemed to just roll off of him in almost tangible waves.

Selina visibly shivered, for if there was one thing that got her motor purring it was the tall, dark, and dangerous bad boy types.

Her smile grew across her face before she put her head back and chuckled deeply before looking back at Xander again, she liked this man. There was something about him that just called to her naughty side.

Xander smirked at her as his playful mood came back to him "I've heard about curiosity and cats, so now that I've caught you and told you a bit about who I am, it's your turn to see if you can catch me if you want to know what information I have regarding Selina Kyle." Xander stated catching her a bit off guard.

"Tag, you're it." Xander quipped before darting forward in a blur to tap her gently on the forehead before taking off running at speeds that would have made an Olympic athlete proud, but not at any superhuman speed.

Selena blinked as the dangerous and dark mood seemed to switch so quickly to youth and playfulness and caught her off guard for a moment. However it was only a moment, and then she realized that Xander was getting away and quickly took off running across the roof after him with a smile on her lips.

'_A Cat's got to play with her food before she eats.'_ She thought to herself as she leaped the span between roofs and took off catty-corner towards the next building where Xander had landed before waving at her mockingly. Xander led her on a chase along the rooftops that formed a large square around the pool, spa area, and multiple outdoor restaurants and bars that filled the middle square of the resort; all of the patrons down below blissfully unaware of the actions taking place on the roofs above them.

Xander allowed her to catch up a bit on him before tantalizingly staying just out of reach as he used the chimneys and satellite dishes on the roof to play a game of cat and mouse with her.

Soon enough they reached the roof of the main hotel building and Xander executed an acrobatic flip to launch himself off the edge of the roof and to his balcony below before darting into the room.

Selena was fast on his tail and landed lightly in a crouch before strolling off of the balcony and into the room to follow Xander.

Xander walked over to the minibar and pulled out a Coke before popping the top and turning around, "Can I get you something to…" He attempted to offer her something to drink, only to find out that as he turned around she was right up next to him smiling up at him, her goggles resting on the top of her head and her big blue eyes sparkling up at him while her pouty lips smirked at him.

Xander gulped as Catwoman continued to stroll with exaggerated hip sway towards him. She was already a foot in front of him, and Xander found himself backing away from her a bit startled, only to have his retreat cut off when the back of his legs hit the bed.

With a fast push against his chest, Catwoman pushed Xander till he was sitting on the bed staring wide eyed up at her, but then she stepped with a knee on one side of Xander, only to straddle his lap facing Xander as she put her other knee on Xander's other side.

"Tag, your it." She playfully stated with a seductive smirk while looking at Xander from about six inches away but slightly looking down at him as she was on her knees straddling him and he was fully seated.

"Uh yeah, heh heh, um, I was going to ask if you wanted to get comfortable or have something to drink." Xander stated, rubbing the back of his head with his free hand and trying to look anywhere but at the leather wrapped breasts that were right at his eye level.

Selina's smile only got larger as she said, "Ok." While reaching up to her neckline and pinning the hidden zipper to her cat-suit between her clawed fingers and pulling down the zipper until it was at her belly button; showing the inner slopes of her cleavage and the large creamy expanse of skin.

"Now I'm more comfortable." She stated with a smirk, noting as Xander's jaw dropped at the same time that the open can of Coke fell out of his hands and to the floor unnoticed.

Xander stared at the expanse of skin in front of him, and his mouth suddenly went dry as his brain was in a riot.

'_What do I do? What do I do? Catwoman is straddling me half naked on my bed? What do I do?'_ Ran a panicked thought in his head.

'_SMACK!' _The mental blow from the little voice upside Xander's brain snapped him out of his panic, '_Oh no you don't, you've got your dream come true within licking distance, you're not going to mess this up for me again buddy, or I'm going take your two boys and go on strike. Now pull on those big boy pants, call on the knowledge from the Heterodyne Xander, and turn the tables on her.' _The little voice commanded.

'_I'm here for you Xander.'_ The mental voice of Xander Heterodyne stated with a huge smile, giving Xander two thumbs up.

In the real world, Xander's mouth slowly closed, and a sparkle came to his eyes as a smirk grew across his lips.

Looking up at the smug looking Catwoman, Xander realized that it was time to turn the tables.

In a flash, Xander's hands reached up to clutch Selina by the back as he mentally commanded his chest armor to recede while simultaneously flipping over so that Catwoman was now lying on her back on the bed, Xander on top and between her spread legs.

The hunter had become the prey, as Xander now with his shirt off as he held himself over her face to face and quipped, "Now my dear, to answer your unasked question, I come from a dimension that lets us view the actions of the heroes and villains of this universe. I've seen your progress from living on the streets to the highest echelons of society and high crime. I know you are a thief and a fem-fatale and I've always thought you were one of the sexiest people in this dimension." Xander finished with a smirk and a twinkling of his eyes.

Selina was just stunned as the tables had been turned on her, and she was no longer in full control of the situation. A part of her really liked it. And as the surprise returned to her seductive smile she heard Xander ask, "Now the question is, would you like me to continue this discussion, or would you prefer to do something else?" Xander playfully asked, his face hovering over hers and the flesh of his hard abs lightly resting against the exposed skin of Catwoman's stomach.

Selina's answer was to wrap her arms around Xander's neck and pull him into a deep passionate kiss.

**WARNING, WILD THING SCENE. IF YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO KNOW WHAT THE WILD THING IS, SKIP AHEAD!**

Xander and Selina's tongues dueled desperately with each other, vying for supremacy and dominance as a bit of Xander's primal spirit came to the forefront.

This wasn't love making, this was hot sweaty, madly sucking, nibbling and biting sex.

Selina wrapped her legs around Xander's and pulled him tightly against her while at the same time throwing her weight to the side to roll on top of him. With her bit of freedom, she wiggled off the clawed gloves before entwining her hands in Xander's hair and sucking on his lip.

Xander in turn came up for a breath of air for a second, and then tried to concentrate through Selina's now nibbling and licking his ear while he tried to wrestle the upper portion of her cat suit off her upper torso and arms.

Xander growled in aggravation as the tight leather didn't want to come loose, and Selina giggled with a deep seductive chuckle while she continued to try and distract him from his pursuit in getting her naked.

Xander's eyes flashed green briefly as the primal spirit came a bit to the forefront of Xander's mind; no measly leather outfit would deny the Alpha his mate.

The deep rumbling growl left Xander's chest as he bit the juncture between Selina's neck and shoulder, causing her to gasp and shudder slightly as the pleasure and pain of him claiming her caused her to freeze in her struggles; the instinctive actions of the female halting when the predator mate bit her neck.

This brief halt in struggle was all that Xander needed to finish pulling the cat-suit down off her upper body, freeing her breasts to mash fully against his chest before he flipped them over again so that he was on top. Standing up with strength that she couldn't match, Xander pulled her legs off of him so that he could fully unrobe her while mentally commanding his outfit to retract until it was piled up as nothing more than a watch on one wrist and a masculine chain bracelet on the other.

Pulling her leather outfit off her body, including the boots, while pinning her down with his animalistic look and the pressure of one hand settled between her breasts, Xander claimed his mate and disrobed her of the barrier between their passions.

Selina was seriously hot and bothered, panting from the mix of the make out session and the feelings of pure power and animalistic passion that were pouring off of Xander like tidal waves of pheromones. She had been with other men before, had even been close to being in this position with Batman, but never had she felt so fully wanted and wanting as she did for this strong epitome of masculinity that was Xander in that moment.

While he removed her pants, she faux struggled to get free of his hand, but deeply she was happy to be claimed where as she had earlier thought that she would be leading this dance. She finished by stroking her nails down the forearm that was pinning her to the mattress, and as her pants were finally ripped from her, she welcomed Xander back to her with open arms and open legs.

Xander growled and smirked before pouncing on her like some sort of large cat, ravishing her breasts and nipples with his tongue as he licked and bit; causing Selina to gasp and arch her head back against the mattress in passion.

The trail of his teeth and kisses trailed up to her neck, where he bit her again while his other hand trailed down to first cup her buttocks and pull her against him.

Selina too bit, licked, and sucked on his neck, ears, and lips before gasping to match his growl as she felt her wet lips rub up against Xander's hardening length. There would be no armor to distract from the sensation this time, and nothing to restrain Xander's girth when they rubbed up against each other this time.

Mewling and purring, she rocked her hips to slide up and down Xander's throbbing member, making him groan as he felt her wetness hitting the most sensitive parts of his penis.

They continued to devour each other's lips while rubbing themselves against the outside of each other, until their timing got messed up and they ended up seating his penis to split her dripping lower lips.

Both groaned and Xander's eyes shut as Catwoman's eyes got large as she felt the first three inches of Xander's thick cock slide into her.

The pleasure was incredible, and like a dying man in the dessert who just got a small drink of water, they wanted more.

As one, the two of them thrust deeply against each other, Xander's entire length diving into her to plunder the depths as he growled and bit the side of her neck to stifle his yell. Unknowingly, Selina clawed her red painted nails up Xander's back; scratching him and drawing blood before quickly healing over.

The pleasure and pain, passion and heat joined as their pace picked up as meaty wet slaps were heard as Xander thrust to meet Selina's humps; a perfect counterpoint of euphoria.

Pushing off with the heel of her foot against the bed, Selina rolled Xander over so that she was on top, riding Xander for all she was worth as she sat back and smiled darkly down at him as she ground her clit against his lower pelvis with every thrust and slide; causing a deep purring sound to come from Catwoman's chest.

Xander's eyes seemed to glow and he was biting his lip to stifle his primal yell as his hands rested on her hips and helped to drive her up and down his length; meeting every time with a slap as they took passion from each other.

Her bouncing tits were calling to him as she rode him up and down, taking one of her arms to scratch it through the back of her own hair unknowingly before using her hand to stifle a scream as a particularly vicious thrust was met at the same time that Xander's hands captured her bouncing orbs and gave them a bit of a squeeze.

Growls were met with pants, purrs were met with groans, and then Xander smirked and his eyes twinkled as they were suddenly floating a good foot above the surface of the bed.

Losing the traction of her knees, Selina dropped hard onto Xander's penis, hitting against her womb and causing a spike of pleasure and a bit of pain as her eyes got large at the realization that they were flying.

Selina's view of Xander was cut off, As he used his hands to grab her waist and pivoted her in the air so that suddenly he was behind her and bending her over while he dropped them to the mattress with a bounce.

The bounce caught her unaware, and her arms dropped from her shoulders and breasts to the mattress as Xander held her hips up as he plowed into her from behind 'kitty' style.

Selina's surprise was short though as this new position allowed Xander to reach untouched depths of her sheath with every thrust, and the angle was just right to be almost too intense but oh so fantastic.

"Oh God." Selina called out unthinkingly as it just felt so good.

Xander's dark chuckle answered her as he drove her back and forth with every hip thrust, "God's not here now, but I hope you aren't too disappointed that it's just little old me." Xander's statement finished off in a deep groan as the look of him plundering her perfect rear and well muscled back stared back at him from the mirror that lined the wall beside the bed.

Selina's seductive answer was portioned out between groans and purrs as her body was racked by pleasure and building towards a climax, "God, baby, doesn't have anything on your penis, and there is nothing little about you." She stated before cutting off in a moan as her face rested sidewise on the bed, eyes closed and pointed towards the mirror where Xander could see every look of pleasure making her twitch.

Xander felt his pleasure rising also, and the animal spirit in him called out to him to fully dominate his chosen mate, to leave her knowing that she was his.

Bending forward, Xander grabbed both of Selina's arms and pulled her shoulders off the bed as he pinned her arms behind her back and picked up his speed and thrusting as his other arm circled around her chest and palmed her breast before squeezing it.

Xander's teeth latched on to the back of Selina's neck, and the tingle of her erogenous zone being bitten and his arms fully controlling and claiming her was the trigger she needed to orgasm strongly.

Selina screamed in pleasure, nearly deafening Xander as her vagina fluttered and milked at Xander, attempting to squeeze an orgasm out of him also.

It was enough, and Xander added his deep growl of success as he sawed in and out of her wetness and then buried his twitching self in her fluttering depths as he bathed her insides with his liquid heat.

Catwoman's eyes got even larger, and her scream hit another octave as she felt Xander cum inside her, his orgasm combining with hers to drive them to new heights of pleasure as her cry threatened to shatter the glass in the room.

Grunts and thrusts were finished as one last yell escaped Xander's lips, and then he released her arms and neck to fall to the bed on their sides; Selina protected in his arms and Xander's still hard member deep inside her wetness.

Xander and Selina huffed and puffed as they caught their breath. The sound of their rapidly beating hearts joining with their quest to pull oxygen into their lungs after their athletic duo.

Finally, the panting slowed down until it was almost silent in the room. Of course this meant that Xander needed to fill the space with a humorous quip, "So I never got your answer on whether you wanted to do something else other than ask questions." He said with a smirk into the back of her short hair before nipping playfully at her ear.

Selina's chuckles did interesting things to where Xander's penis was still inside her, and he felt himself growing harder again.

Catwoman felt him grow firmer and pushed backwards to roll Xander onto his back while spinning her legs in splits to athletically come into a position where she was straddling him.

Smirking down at Xander she quipped, "Is the offer of a drink still on the table? This kitty could use some hydration." She said with a sparkle in her eye.

"Yep." Xander quipped before putting his hands behind his head and floating the still joined couple up into the air and off of the bed towards the mini-bar.

Selina's eyes got large and she sat forward quickly to hug Xander while her legs twined around him.

Xander saw the look on her face and joked, "Now now, what would anybody think about a cat being afraid of heights." He teased her, given the fact they were only floating about three feet above the ground.

Selina turned to glare a bit at him before she smirked and tightened herself up around Xander's penis. "Are you going to get me that offered Coke or do I have to steal it?" She joked in return.

Xander groaned at what she was doing with the clutching and releasing, and with it he learned that it was surprisingly difficult to concentrate on flying for a moment. However he quickly got the hang of it, reached down and snagged a can of soda out of the fridge before popping the top one handed and giving it to Selina who sat up and smirked down at Xander.

Xander smiled back up at the picture of beauty that was wrapped around his waist, and he floated them back to rest on the bed.

Selina chugged a bit of the can before handing it to Xander, where he drank a few gulps before handing it back to Selina to finish.

As she finished the can of soda he asked with a raised eyebrow, "So what now?"

Selina finished tilting back the can of Coke before throwing the empty can behind her. Then with a smile like that Cat that ate the Canary, Catwoman pounced back down on Xander with a smirk.

Xander wouldn't really get dinner that night, and neither would Selina. But as the evening wore into night and the night into early morning, the two continued to feast on each other until Selina passed out from exhaustion.

* * *

**YOU YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPERS CAN START READING AGAIN HERE; SEX SCENE OVER.**

The sun trickled through the open doors to Xander's balcony along with the sounds of the hotel's patron's happily enjoying the weather and the temperature controlled pool.

Even though he hadn't gotten a lot of sleep, Xander still couldn't help waking up with a huge smile as the warm naked body of Selina was curled up against and on top of Xander like some large cat.

Xander turned his head silently to look down at the sleeping face of Catwoman that was resting on his shoulder, and he smiled even larger as her cute little nose would twitch in her sleep as if she was a kitty dreaming of catching a mouse.

Planting a slight kiss on her forehead, Xander carefully and quietly slid out from under Selina while pushing a few pillows to fill the abandoned space.

Stepping out of the bed, Xander popped his back before heading to the bathroom to freshen up.

A few minutes later, the sound of the water stopped and Xander dried himself off before mentally commanding his nano-clothing to turn into an open Hawaiian shirt without an undershirt and a pair of slacks. Barefoot, walked softly across the room towards the balcony while double checking to make sure Selina was still asleep.

Leaning over the balcony, Xander stared at the tropical plants and scantily clad women around the pool area, just enjoying the late morning breeze as he took a big breath of the fresh air.

Mid exhale, however, Xander's nano-clank clothing shot up around his body, encasing him in his armor in less time than it takes for a bullet to fly fifty feet.

Xander felt like somebody had lightly punched his chest as he disappeared.

* * *

On a rooftop clear on the other side of the resort the sniper took his shot with his fifty caliber Berretta anti-vehicle sniper rifle and watched as the target seemed to stumble and disappear in the time that it took for the recoil to settle out and him to get the target back in the sights. Believing that the shot had killed the target, the assassin pushed back from his prone position on the roof.

Standing up, the nameless professional quickly started taking apart his weapon and putting it away in his suitcase as the people in the pools and the restaurants on the ground floor screamed and ran around in chaos after hearing the loud report of the sniper rifle bounce off the walls around them.

Finishing packing away the rifle and closing the case, the assassin stood and turned.

"Urk!" Only to be choked out as a seeming phantasm wrapped his hand around the assassin's throat.

The assassin struggled briefly with the grasp before a flick of a wrist dropped the long pick like dagger out of his sleeve and into his hand.

Stabbing at the invisible arms holding him, the assassin saw the blade hit a surface before merely bending. One of the hands holding his throat released its hold before the killer was knocked senseless by an invisible backhand.

Through the grogginess and the pain, the assassin heard, "Who sent you?"

Xander appeared in his solid black armor, his one hand holding the kicking assassin off the ground by the throat. His growled out question met dull eyes as the assassin struggled to not pass out from the power of Xander's blow.

Finally the assassin smiled a bloody smile through the lips that Xander had just split, "Ra's al Ghul would like to offer you a position in his organization." The man choked out through Xander's grip.

Xander settled the man down to the ground so he could talk, but by no means released his hold on the assassin's throat, "So why the bullet?" Xander growled again, in his mind the Primal spirit was baying for the blood of the assassin.

The assassin smiled larger at Xander, blood from the man's mouth and nose marring the man's white teeth and dripping down the dark business suit and shirt, "A test. Every member to the League of Shadows is tested before they are allowed entrance. I am authorized to offer you several million dollars a year as a salary if you join." The man finished, his eyes gleaming with the light that can only come from pure fanatical faith.

Xander frowned under his mask. He would never join Ra's al Ghul. "No, you can tell your master I will not be joining as one of his assassins." Xander growled out, fighting the urge to pop the man's head like a pimple.

"I have also been authorized to kill anybody I see you with if you do not agree." The man added with a smirk.

'_That's it!'_ The Primal roared in Xander's head as the man threatened what the Primal felt was a mate.

"Wrong answer." Xander gritted though his teeth at the same time that claws shot out of the fingers of Xander's left hand that was free at the moment.

Xander's clawed hand latched onto the forehead and face of the man before digging in. The assassin screamed for a second before Xander's other hand choked off the man's airway.

Xander's nano-clanks shot into the assassin's brain like barbed darts, burrowing deep into the man's brain and shredding the grey matter as they passed. However as they passed, they also captured the man's knowledge just as Xander had done when he brought retribution to Kasnia's separatist forces.

The silently screaming assassin jerked and thrashed in Xander's hands, and Xander heard the roof access behind him bang open just as he finished juicing the former killer of all of his information.

The security guards who rushed the roof just missed seeing Xander's black clad hulking figure, and instead were witness to a silently tortured man dangling in the air as his eyes bugged out; some phantasm or ghost piercing his skull as brain juices and blood poured down the seemingly floating man's face.

Xander finished and negligently dropped the man before taking off straight into the sky.

Below him, Xander saw the security forces run up to the corpse and check for a pulse before looking up for where the 'ghost' had disappeared to.

Xander hovered in the air silently, invisible to the normal naked eye with his predator system while he sorted through the information he had learned from the assassin. He ignored the scene below him on the roof as he reviewed the new facts.

'_Ra's al Ghul is interested in me personally and his people tracked me going west from Istanbul until they found me at the hotel._' Xander thought to himself as he went over the new information.

Xander tilted his head to the side in thought, _'It appears that the report on me was drafted by Talia al Ghul.'_ Xander mentally reviewed the copy of the file that the assassin had been given when sent off on his mission to target Xander. Xander cringed,_ 'Damn it! I knew running into her at that casino would bite me in the ass.'_

Floating silently back through the air high over the green space and towards the main hotel where his room was, Xander came to a hard decision based on the new facts he had, _'They have people waiting for me from here to the Iranian border, and a secondary plan set up to notify the Queen Bee that a revolutionary super hero has entered her territory upon finding out that the assassin failed his mission._' Xander thought quickly before realizing that Ra's had used the League of Shadow's contacts in Iran to do the same. _'There goes the straight route, I'm going to have to throw them off my tail, hopefully he'll just get bored of tracking me after a while.'_ Xander hoped, but not really trusting all that much in that hope.

'_Fortunately the bastard I killed was the only one to see Selina with me, the damn pervert. So if I move quickly they won't know to go after her.'_ Xander resolutely thought as he realized he had to leave yet another girl that he thought he could have feelings for.

Flying back into the room, Xander saw that Catwoman was still asleep in spite of the gunshot.

Xander smiled sadly down at Selina's sleeping form, knowing that he would have to distance himself from her in order to keep her safe.

Xander's head became visible as he receded his helmet enough to allow him to lay another kiss on Selina's cheek.

Quickly blurring around the room, Xander quickly cleaned up all of his stuff and put it into the backpack before writing out a letter to Selina. Disappearing out the balcony and back again faster than the human eye could see, Xander laid the letter and a single red rose on the pillow next to Catwoman before taking one last look and then flying out the window with his backpack also shimmering into invisibility on his shoulders.

As Xander invisibly flew north, Selina stirred and saw the letter and rose through her sleep addled eyes.

Blinking and yawning for a second while she made a cat like stretch, Selina started to read the letter with a smile on her face.

Catwoman's smile slowly turned into a frown and then a glare as the details of why Xander had to leave were truthfully and honestly laid out on the page of hotel stationary.

The frown briefly turned back into a smile as Selina picked up and sniffed the rose again, but then the frown returned to her face as she contemplated a certain wanna-be immortal that she really wanted to get her claws on.

'_Nobody steals from Catwoman and gets away with it unscathed.'_ Selina thought to herself as she got out of bed and put on one of the hotel robes. She would use the robe to move through the hotel back to her room while hiding her cat-suit in a towel under her arm; as if she were merely going to the spa or the pool and had her swimsuit underneath the robe.

Glaring and eyes flashing, Catwoman thought, _'You took from me, so I'm going to take from you.'_ She thought as she left the hotel; plans to rob Ra's al Ghul blind flitting through her head.

* * *

Not so far away in a palace in Syria, Ra's al Ghul's head came up from where he was reading a report.

"Strange… We don't usually get cold drafts this time of year." Ra's stated to himself.

With a shrug, the Demon's Head, leader of the League of Shadows went back to his work, unaware that he had probably just ticked off two of the wrong sort of people.

* * *

**AN: There you go, a freaking long chapter. I received about a total of 70 reviews and notes last chapter, all of them helping to inspire me to get this chapter out. It took a lot of thinking, and it's quite taxing some times, so I appreciate the help and thoughts. Again, if you enjoy this, please let me know. To those who offered to have my children, unfortunately my wife told me she didn't want to share. Sorry. For those who read this 28****th**** chapter and still haven't reviewed or let me know that you are a living breathing meat popsicle rather than a Google bot, well, don't make me sick Catwoman on you; it won't be the pleasurable kind of cat attack. ;-) Anyway, let me know what you think. Cheers!**


	29. Chapter 29: Family Is What You Make It

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: Wow, I hit over 1000 reviews and messages, thanks for all the thoughts as several of them have gone directly into my planning for future chapters whereas others helped inspire what is going into this chapter. Special thanks goes out to Hasty for playing 'what if' and bouncing ideas back and forth with me in real time on Lucifael's chat website. To those who commented that they didn't like the way that Zatanna was portrayed, I say, "Eh, it's canon." You can blame DC comics if you don't like the fact that John Zatarra ruled his daughter's life with an iron fist and a lot of overly protective actions up until he died. For those of you who enjoyed it, great, thanks for letting me know as it got the mental juices flowing and now I'm pumping out the next chapter. Tally ho, into the breach we go!**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 29: Family Is What You Make It**

"There's no such thing as fun for the whole family." ~Jerry Seinfeld

Xander flew north at a sedate pace, sitting Indian style as if he was on a magic carpet while traveling through the air invisibly towards Moscow. Though he could have been to Moscow in a matter of minutes, Xander had set a less than quick pace for two main reasons.

One was that based on the information gleaned from the Assassin's brief on Xander, Xander figured that if he was known for traveling quickly, then reason suggested that the longer he took the farther away from his point of origination Ra's would look for him. Basically, since his enemies expected Xander to try to flee as fast and far away as possible, Xander would use that expectation against them and would do neither of the two. A change of direction from due west to straight north, a change of speed from fast to moderate, and a change in mode of travel were called for in erasing his trail. Sure he could have just used his teleporter to appear somewhere else but that would negate the whole journey thingy.

The second reason also went back to the information gleaned from the Assassin. Sure, knowledge was power and the memories of the assassin sent by Ra's al Ghul gave Xander basic information on small parts of the League of Shadows as well as the skills possessed by the assassin. However without reviewing those memories and experiences just gained, Xander wouldn't know what he had available. Thus just as Xander had needed to spend some introspection time meeting the Heterodyne and Primal personas in his subconscious when he had first arrived in the DC comic book universe, so did Xander need to sort through the memories and knowledge that he had stolen from the dead assassin. Hence the three hour long trip by air from Bialya to Moscow, capital of the Russian Republic.

'_Knowledge and synaptic impulses on how to breathe, eat, blow nose and go to the bathroom, delete.' _Xander thought to himself as he didn't need a spare bit of knowledge on how to keep his heart beating or the basics of the human body. This type of knowledge stolen from the assassin was deleted from Xander's mind.

Xander continued to hover north, his eyes closed deep in thought as his nano-clank armor kept watch on his surroundings and basically steered him on autopilot. _'Hmmm, it was a lot easier in Kasnia when I was just grabbing a targeted memory rather than taking a quick full data dump.'_ Xander thought to himself.

'_Still, these memories on how to build bombs, plant mines, booby-trap things, and use sniper weapons or pistols should be helpful._' Xander continued to think, his eyes seeming to move around under his eyelids as if he was in REM sleep as he continued to sort and review the memories at a blurringly fast pace.

Xander frowned, _'Still, it would have been nice if this guy had some sort of fighting skill other than brawler.'_ Xander pondered as he reviewed where the brawling skills and experience could be inserted into his own memories of fights that he had been in. _'Sure, fighting vampires back in Sunny-D had to help a little bit in the fighting department, but the first time I come across somebody who's actually trained in martial arts and has a master level in it as well, well basically my ass is grass and they're the lawnmower.'_ Xander thought wryly, _'After all, there was a reason why people questioned who would win in a battle between Superman and Batman.'_

Xander continued to review and sort his new memories and skills before smiling and shrugging to himself. _'Still, new ways to blow things up is always fun.'_ Xander thought for a moment as he sorted his new knowledge with explosives before doing a little mental chuckle, _'Not that I needed the help given that I can build bombs in my sleep, literally, stupid subconscious.'_

Several of the voices in the back of Xander's head jeered back at him for a second.

Finally the last bits of memory were sorted out, the non-necessary life memories of the assassin deleted as if from a computer via the use of the nano-clanks, and the new helpful memories sorted into place so that Xander's mind could tangentially reference them.

Opening his eyes Xander looked out at the landscape passing by as well as the digital overlay of information that was beamed before his eyes by his nano-clank armor. Looking at the computer readout that was beamed right before his eyes by his mask, Xander decided to make a long distance call as he saw he still had a good forty five minutes until he reached the city limits of Moscow.

Using his suit like a large antenna, Xander sent a tight beam signal up into space above him until he connected with one of the little clanks that was watching down from above.

"Toot Toot?" Came a reply over Xander's communication system.

"Hey there little guy." Xander said with a smile.

"TOOT!" Scolded the clank.

"Sorry, little lady. Um, would you please do a bounce relay to the castle? I need to speak with Bob and RedTree." Xander replied.

"Toodly doodle do!" Was the reply before a few clicks and then a brief pause was heard before Bob and RedTree came online.

"Hey Xander, how is the trip? The Chateau wanted me to ask if you are eating healthy Mr.?" The voice of RedTree came across the line just as an image of the digital faces of RedTree and of what appeared to be Jesse were beamed to the GUI in front of Xander's right eye; the digital image of Jesse was Bob's newly chosen digital image.

Xander smiled a bit morosely at the image of Jesse before he answered Red, "You can tell her that yes, I'm getting my balanced diet along with my Twinkies, and that I've even had some exercise."

Red's digital eyebrows rose, "Exercise? Is there something we should know about?"

Xander frowned and released a big sigh, "Seems Ra's al Ghul is going to be a problem. He tried to make an offer that I couldn't refuse." Xander finished, smiling a dark evil smile as he continued, "Of course I violently disagreed with his messenger and his methods. I'm sending the memory through now."

Xander finished speaking and mentally ordered his nano-clanks to pass along the memory of the sniper attack as well as the confrontation with the assassin and the small amount of information gleaned from the killer regarding the League of Shadows.

The image of Red blinked, which basically meant that she had spent the equivalent computing time of a month analyzing the information and going over what they knew about Ra's al Ghul and his organization before answering. "Well it's not much new information. The assassin only had the information regarding his specific cell and the few safe houses that he knew of. I've been having problems locating information on the League of Shadows and Ra's al Ghul as most of it seems to be kept either on computer systems that aren't connected to any network, or on hardcopy paper." RedTree visibly shivered at the idea that somebody would be so archaic as to use paper documents, "The barbarians." She finished with a frown and a bit of a pout.

"Yeah, I figured as much." Xander answered. "Still, I've changed directions and am heading towards Moscow. I figure old Ra's will get tired of trying to talk to me sooner or later and that we can just part directions." Xander completed with a shrug.

Xander smiled back at the computer generated image of his long time friend before turning his attention to Bob. "So how goes our science experiments, anything I should know about?" Xander queried.

Bob smiled back, "Yep, you've got to see the latest test of the gravitonic ionic combination engine for the new space fighters." Bob stated, "Though as you'll see, we are having problems with judging how much power to give them." The AI finished with a smirk.

Before Xander's eyes a video of a large metal and concrete test stand was set up with a ring of electro magnets and stabilizers held a fifteen foot long engine motor that glowed a dull yellow. The rig was setup inside of a plain stone bored out mountain chamber that stretched into the distance with an artificial sun providing light from high above. Sensors were scattered around and different visible lasers were seen to bounce off of the sides of the engine to grade any vibration as well as to gauge the thrust of the system upon the test fire.

On the screen several scientists with clipboards and white lab coats walked around and checked things on their data pads while techs crawled over the bracing on the engine; the bracing that was holding the engine was a good twenty five feet thick in every dimension, giving a good sturdy base for the test engine.

A red light began to flash and everybody in the video moved off to the sides of the test stand and entered bunkers while the video recording turned into a spit screen to show the scientists in the bunker at the same time as the engine.

One of the scientists on the screen was seen to give a thumbs up, and a countdown went on the screen before a tech hit a button.

The results were immediate.

The engine glowed bright yellow as if it was the sun in the middle of the day in Death Valley, and there was a giant "CRACK!" sound as the engine broke free of the test-stand and shot across the hollowed out mountain to explode against the far wall in a flare of power and radiation in less than a blink of an eye.

The scientists on the screen were shown to shake their heads, and the lead scientist put a checkmark in the notes about 'Power' on his data pad before the video shut off.

Xander cringed before questioning Bob, "Damn, how much power were you trying to use, a whole Dyson's sphere or Lazarus power cell's worth?"

The image of Bob smirked back at Xander, "Nope. That was a nine volt battery." Bob stated back with a huge smile on his digital face.

Xander's jaw dropped for a second, before slowly growing into a large maniacal smile, "He he, well more power for the shields and weapons then." Xander quipped with a bit of an insane cackle. "Just add more dampeners and use them as brakes or for directional thrust and put the engines into production as is. You can never have too much power going to the weapons." Xander finished with a big evil smile.

Both Bob and RedTree's evil smirks mirrored Xander's before Xander continued talking, "So how goes the synthetic nano-clank composite that old Swampy was going to be working on with the scientists, did Alec and the other scientists get it up and running yet?"

Again a video of a lab experiment was flashed to Xander while Bob's voice commented in the background. "If you look at that tank of what seems to be black sludge." Bob's voice directed as a picture of a large metal pond filled with black fluid was shown to be inside of a laboratory.

"Then you will see how the techs are able to use the computer controls to change the shape of the synthetic nano-particulate." Bob finished.

On the screen was Alec Holland, the former Swamp Thing, speaking and gesturing towards the pond while a tech tapped on a holographic keyboard. Out of the sludge was first formed a black tree that jutted from the pond before it leafed out and turned the natural colors of green leaves and brown bark and wood. A few more buttons were pressed and the color changed back to black before the particles rearranged themselves to look like a bald faceless human shape that soon turned flesh color. The human shape waved its arms around, lifted its legs from where it appeared to be standing on top of the black ooze, and then turned back to the color black before settling back into the sludge pond.

On the screen Alec and the tech spoke a bit more before the tech shrugged and hit a few extra buttons. Suddenly a ball of the sludge oozed upwards and seemed to detangle itself from the tentacle it had originally formed from before free floating in the air above the tank. The tech hit a few additional buttons and the hovering black blob changed into some weird reverse black shadowy octopus or squid like object that looked sleek and deadly with multiple pronged arms pointed forward. A few more buttons were pressed and a golden shield was seen to pop into existence around the model sized construct as the craft slowly hovered to turn in a complete three hundred and sixty degree circle before the shield disengaged.

The tech and Alec smiled big grins at each other and gave each other a high five before cheering could be heard to echo through the laboratory from the other techs and scientists that were working there.

As the video faded out, Xander gave a big evil grin to Bob and Red, "Excellent." Xander stated in a perfect imitation of Mr. Smithers from the Simpson's, "This will be like stealing candy from a baby." Xander finished while he mentally was cackling gleefully.

"Set them into production for operations Bye Bye Birdie and The Prince Is Now A Pauper." Xander chuckled before breaking out in an evil laugh, "Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!"

On the screen, both Red and Bob joined Xander in cackling evilly, "BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA…" before all three of them seemed to stop laughing as if on cue.

"Ahem, alright then." Xander cleared his throat but continued to smile, "One last thing Red, I'm going to need some new identification for Russia." Xander continued.

RedTree interrupted, "Already done Xander. When you land I'll transport you your new Russian passport and identification papers. Congratulations, you are now Alexander Alexandrov Alexandroff; Xander for short." She finished with a small cheeky wink. "I figure you can lift the language from somebody when you get there, and I'm streaming details about the city to your nano-clanks now." She finished with a big smile.

Xander smiled back and tilted his head to the side as information was beamed into his mind regarding streets, neighborhoods, cultural differences and other things that would make sense for a Russian citizen to know when visiting Moscow.

"Thanks Red." Xander finished as he quickly sorted out the new information and smiled back at RedTree. Red winked at him before disappearing off the screen.

Xander turned his focus to Bob, "Anything else I should know about?" Xander queried.

Bob looked thoughtful for a moment before responding with a cringe, "Well, just an FYI that Elder Magda has decided that you are her honorary grandson and that she is going help look after you when you get back. There is talk of finding you a wife or two, and the girls are plotting with her." Bob finished looking away.

Xander's face went pail, "A wife?" Xander's voice squeaked before he cleared his throat and swallowed.

Thinking quickly, Xander responded, "We'll have to find something to fill her time with, or get her another project other than working on my love life." Xander stated, rubbing the back of his neck as he struggled to think of some way to get out of the latest quirk in his life.

Looking down, Xander sighed and said out loud, "Why couldn't I have just a reasonable normal life?" He whined.

Bob laughed at Xander before responding, "Ha! Normal? Xander, you should just get used to the idea that normal doesn't do Xander Harris. Besides, normal would be boring." Bob finished, looking like the word normal tasted bad in the AI's digital mouth.

Xander smiled and nodded in agreement before answering, "Yeah, you're probably right." Xander said with a shrug and a wry smile before finishing, "Thanks for the news Bob, feel free to contact me if there is something that needs my attention."

"Sure thing Xander." Bob answered. "Everything seems to be going smoothly for the moment, the United Nations voted to drop the embargo, and salutations from the nations are already rolling in along with requests to commence trade with your empire. Only question in parting is, what do you want to do about the Sparkbucks?" Bob questioned.

Xander thought for a moment and then smiled, "Let the coffee flow again. I'm getting tired of this instant coffee crap while I'm traveling to restaurants where I can't just have a mug transported to me." Xander finished.

Bob smiled, "Excellent. We've been stockpiling the coffee in warehouses hollowed out in the hills and mountains around New Mechanicsburg, but we were running out of space. We should have the shops back open in an hour as the upgrades have been fully completed." Bob finished.

With that, Bob smiled and Xander killed the connection. In the distance Xander could see the suburbs of Moscow coming into view, and with that the beginning of no doubt a new adventure in a new city.

* * *

The problem with true artificial intelligences is that they are just that, true intelligences with their own personalities and thinking patterns. Now never doubt that Xander's AI's weren't totally and absolutely one hundred percent loyal and under Xander's control. Taking that in mind however, the manner by which the AI's served Xander sometimes led to results or were carried out in manners that made it a bit tougher on Xander even though the AI's meant well. Take for example the New Mechanicsburg Chateau chasing him through the skies with flaming gargoyles or the Castle and Chateau giving Xander what they termed 'exercise' by activating all of the death traps around him.

Thus it was that when RedTree received the memories about Ra's al Ghul's assassin testing Xander before making an offer, well she decided that the mean old man needed to be asked to mind his own business.

Thus Ra's Al Ghul lost all of the money in his bank accounts located in the Cayman Islands and was sent an email ghost written by RedTree with Xander's name on it:

Dear Mr. Demon Head,

Though I appreciate the offer to join your league of evil doers engaged in the goal of wiping out all human life on Earth, I'm kind of part and partial to the whole human interaction and the continuing to breathe and breed thingies. By now you will no doubt have heard that I killed your messenger, I'm sorry, but he left me no choice. I also wanted to let you know that I know a lot about you and could cause you problems in return for the ones you have sent my way, but I am willing to return us to keeping our mutual distance from each other. In order to prove my point regarding my knowledge about you and your organization you will note that I have emptied your bank accounts in the Cayman Islands, and I must say that the Sierra Club greatly appreciates your donation of the tens of billions of dollars. I've requested that the money goes directly to protecting the environment and cleaning up pollution; a cause I think we can both agree on. That said; please consider my theft of a small portion of your assets as my shot across your bow. Your assassin shot at me, now I shoot at you, and we should all be able to part happily now. Anyway, best wishes and here's hoping Batman stops you from killing us all.

Sincerely,

Xander Harris

The palace on the Syrian border was filled with the sound of laughter that bounced and echoed off of the columns and marble walls.

When the laughter finally stopped, the silence was again interrupted.

"I like this boy. Perhaps the Detective isn't the proper heir for my daughter after all." Ra's stated as he read the print out of the email that was delivered to him, right before commanding the search for information on Xander Harris to be doubled in effort.

* * *

In orbit around Earth, it was lunch time at the Watch Tower and the heroes of the Justice League were eating together.

"It's the proof of fact for the butterfly chaos theory, and the reason for most of the global warming that the world is experiencing." The Question finished explaining to the Huntress as he paused to take a bite of his sandwich; somehow managing to take a bite out of it without removing his mask that covered over his features.

Huntress stared at him with a quirked well manicured eyebrow before questioning, "So let me get this right, boy bands are the cause of global warming?"

The Question finished chewing before answering, as he knew it was rude to speak with food in your mouth even if nobody could see his mouth. "Yes, that's right."

The Huntress gave some thought to his argument, and had to agree that there may be something to the facts that The Question had laid out, even if they seemed to be totally unrelated if you didn't look at them together. "So let me get this straight, Menudo, New Kids on the Block, and Nsync…"

"Trying to heat up the world so that all of their female and male fans take their clothes off." The Question finished before taking another bite of his sandwich.

The Huntress just stared at The Question, not sure whether he was serious or not. It was just too weird to believe that it was true, but one thing could be said, she would never be bored if she dated the man.

Smiling a little quirk of her lip she asked, "And Justin Bieber?"

The Question stopped right before he took a bite and then looked steadily at The Huntress. Then with a very solemn voice he said, "You don't want to know, you really really don't want to know." The Question finished his statement with a little shiver before setting down his sandwich; he was suddenly no longer hungry.

Picking up his tray, The Question started to get up to leave.

"Wait." The Huntress quickly interjected and reached across the cafeteria's table to lay her hand on his sleeve.

"Yes?" The Question stated, tipping his head to the side as he looked down at the purple clad heroine.

The Huntress bit her lip for a second before looking up at the Question and smiling, "Are you free tonight?" She asked.

The Question straightened his head before looking back without any expression on his face; but of course he didn't have any expression on his face, he was wearing a mask.

"Sure, do you have a mission you need help with?" He asked.

"No um, uh, I was wondering if you were free to do dinner with me in Platinum Flats?" Huntress questioned after building up her nerve to ask him out. She finished it with a tentative smile.

The Question just stared at her for a moment before nodding, "Sure, I'll pick you up at your place at 6:00 and take you to your favorite restaurant. Afterwards we can go down the street to that new Sparkbucks coffee to chat a while. I have it from a good source that they are going to be opening up in the next hour."

The Huntress was both a mix of happy and stunned. Not only did he say yes, which made her happy, but he already knew her favorite restaurant. However before she could answer him a red blur shot through the cafeteria, and in the wake of the blur the wind caused the food and napkins of the heroes to splatter about the room.

The Watchtower's cafeteria was filled with cursing heroes as they tried to clean that day's mystery meat off of their laps and costumes.

A second later, Wonder Woman flew through the cafeteria cursing and carrying what looked like a purple funnel with purple metal handles. She stopped at the exit to the cafeteria and turned around to address the heroes.

"May great Hera protect whom ever mentioned that Sparkbucks is opening up again before I had a chance to use the purple ray to cure the Flash of his addiction… well for your sake you better not be here by the time I figure out where he disappeared to." She said shaking her fist before flying off down the hallway towards the Watchtower's teleporter room.

The Huntress blinked, and then looked up at the Question and smiled, "I think you had better get out of here, I'll see you at 6:00."

The Question nodded, and answered in a happy tone of voice, "I look forward to it."

With that, The Question quickly darted across the room to deposit his tray in the cleaning apparatus and quickly rushed off to procure a Javelin space craft.

The Huntress watched The Question hurry away before catching the eye of the Black Canary and giving the other girl a nod and a smile.

Black Canary silently gave The Huntress two thumbs up before smirking and putting her hands up in front of her as if she was measuring a foot in length.

At this point The Huntress blushed.

* * *

Xander had arrived in Moscow and had commenced silently floating over the down town alleyways and streets until he found a man unconscious behind a dumpster; wrapped up against the cold and fast asleep with a bottle of vodka clutched loosely in one hand.

Xander touched down a foot from the guy and a thin predator system camouflaged needle like protrusion jutted out from the tip of Xander's pointer finger. Looking around to make sure he wouldn't be distracted, Xander saw the coast was clear before kneeling down and pushing the needle into the drunk's head right behind the ear and up into the brain.

The transfer of the Russian language only took a second, but Xander decided to pay the guy back for the language lesson. In the remaining five seconds that Xander held the nano-clank needle piercing the man's brain nano-clanks quickly swarmed the portion of the drunk's brain that caused the addiction to alcohol while a fleet of the microscopic clanks made their way to the liver and kidneys. The needle receded so that it was out of the brain tissue and ten seconds later the clanks returned to Xander's needle and merged back into Xander's suit; healing the puncture wound as they exited along with the damage that the alcohol abuse had done to the man's body.

Xander stood up as the snow on his knee was absorbed by the nano-clank armor acting similar to how it did when Xander was garbed as The Leviathan.

Treading down deeper into the alley caused Xander's footprints to appear in the snow as the mirage like chameleon armor of Xander's suit shifted as he moved into the shadows. Xander's shimmery ghost like form disappeared into the shadows that existed in the deep crevasse between the concrete buildings even though it was the middle of the day.

One second Xander's ghostly image disappeared into a shadow and the next Xander dressed in a winter parka and jeans stepped into the light that was gathered on the other side of the alley with a new passport and identification papers in hand, courtesy of RedTree. Finally exiting the break in the buildings, Xander looked up and down the street while orienting himself in the map that RedTree had downloaded to his mind.

Smiling to himself Xander raised his hood to cover his ears, his frosty breath breezing out of his mouth as he moved down the street towards where he knew Red Square and the Kremlin were situated. Even though February was ending and March was beginning, and even though it was the first day of spring, it didn't mean that it wasn't still cold in Moscow.

Xander walked down the street looking in windows of stores that were in some ways very similar but in other ways totally different than growing up in California. The air was crisp and cold and a sludge like mixture of frozen water and muddy snow kept the sidewalks wet or, in the shadows of the buildings, covered in ice.

Xander looked in the window of a small grocery store and saw that somebody had taped a piece of paper to the window with a Russian joke about Soviet times.

Xander read the joke in Russian and smiled, "/What is 150 yards long and eats potatoes?/" The joke stated. Xander read down the page till he found the punch line, "/A Moscow queue waiting to buy meat./"

Xander shrugged before continuing to walk on, contemplating the joke. As he looked around he thought back to what he had learned about the Soviet Union while he was in school as well as from his Uncle Rory's stories about why Xander should be happy to work in Rory's shop for less than minimum wage.

Xander remembered stories about grocery stores with nothing but potatoes, or how shelves would be stocked with only a few loaves of bread or how people would have to wait in line all day just to get a small portion of poor quality beef. The lists of what wasn't available in Soviet Russia were longer than lists of what was available during the soviet era. Still, Xander had also heard stories from his professors of how the streets of Moscow were so peaceful that you could go jogging during the middle of the night or how police officers could stop speeders merely by stepping out into the middle of the street and pointing at a vehicle that they wanted to pull over; a different type of lifestyle than Sunnydale and its 'gangs on PCP.' Over all, the Russian democratic revolution had opened the doors for commerce and a variety of economic options to fill the stores and streets of Russia.

Still, from looking around Xander could see that though the red hammer-and-sickle flags and Stalin heads were no longer prevalent, democracy didn't seem to have solved all of Russia's woes. The city was grey, a grey and smudged dull color of age and lack of upkeep that seemed to match the feeling of the grey cold spring day. Here and there Xander could spot where buildings were cracking or where the lusters of once grand buildings of communist power were now slowly falling apart.

Xander stopped at the corner of a broad busy street, and across from him were the brick walls of the buildings around the famous Red Square.

"Can't come to Moscow and not see Red Square." Xander said to himself with a shrug before crossing the street in between traffic.

Wandering the square and looking at the brightly colored domes of the most recognized buildings in Russia, Xander did the tourist thing. Stopping to pull a digital camera from his backpack, Xander looked like every other tourist taking pictures of the large square and the buildings; even if nobody else in the square had even heard of, let alone possibly possessed, a digital camera as small and powerful as the one Xander wielded.

Xander scanned through the view finder of his camera and took a picture of the red walls and colorful domes before panning his camera over the crowds walking the square in the thirty degree Fahrenheit weather.

Xander stopped panning his camera when he caught sight of a procession of older pensioners carrying banners and the old style soviet red flags as they slowly marched. Xander didn't know why, but it struck him as sad that these people would rather pine after a system where they were told what to think, what to do, and what to say and were only allowed small personal freedoms.

The procession slowly passed in front of Xander, and he put his camera down from his eyes as he watched the men and woman walk by slowly, old war medals pinned to old uniforms and hats and carrying even older pictures of Stalin and Lenin.

'_If there was one image to truly show that the Soviet Union lost the Cold War, then that is it right there,'_ Xander thought to himself a bit solemnly. His thoughts and feelings on the matter were a bit conflicted, as he was sad for the people who seemed to be left out of the benefits of the new Democracy but also happy that the Cold War hadn't gone the other way and left the United States as the country to suffer as he was seeing Russia suffer.

Taking in a deep breath Xander cast off his morose thoughts as he exhaled a breath that quickly condensed into slowly dissipating frost.

"Well those are happy thoughts Xander." Xander chided himself right as his stomach growled at him. It was at that point that Xander remembered that he had skipped breakfast and that it was already past his normal lunch time.

Exiting the square and heading north east, Xander figured he could find a restaurant or café somewhere near where he knew a mall to be located.

As Xander walked down the street he passed a door just as it opened, and the wave of warmth was coupled by the smell of food that made his stomach rumble again.

Smiling, Xander shrugged to himself silently that this little locals' restaurant was just as good as the next place as far as he was concerned, so he walked in.

Looking around, Xander saw a counter area with stools and moved over to sit at it while unzipping his jacket and removing his hood yet keeping his backpack on.

"/Good afternoon, just one of you?/" The dumpy older lady who was behind the counter questioned in a monotone Russian as she slid a menu in front of Xander.

Xander nodded and replied in the same language, /"Yes, just me, I missed lunch, and a growing boy needs his food."/ He replied with a smile which was punctuated with his stomach grumbling.

The waitress didn't even respond, just looked back at him with a blank expression on her face before dourly turning her back on Xander.

Xander raised his eyebrow in a silent question before looking down the counter at the other people who were silently eating and hadn't even looked up to acknowledge that another living being had entered the restaurant.

Xander's attention was focused back in front of him when a fork and knife were slapped down in front of him, wrapped in a cheap thin paper napkin.

"/What do you want to eat?/" The waitress asked a bit impatiently, hand on a rather broad hip as she just stared blankly at Xander.

Xander looked down at the menu and realized that he really didn't recognize any of the food there; not having grown up eating what was apparently regular Russian fare.

Looking back up at the waitress Xander smiled and tried to get a reaction again, "/I'm feeling lucky today, surprise me./" He quipped in Russian.

The waitress merely stared at Xander unblinking for a moment before the corners of her lips crinkled down in a bit of a frown, "/Fine, one borshch and a side of pirozhki./" She replied before turning to start to leave.

Xander frowned and added quickly, "/A glass of ice water too please./"

The waitress turned back to look at Xander and gave him a good up and down look before spitting out, "/An American, I should have guessed. Hmph/" With that the waitress pushed her way back to the kitchen mumbling curse words about stupid American capitalists coming over to Russia to take advantage of their country.

The words would have been unheard, if not for the fact that Xander had above normal hearing.

Xander sat at the counter looking around as the sound of the clock ticking on the wall and the clink of silverware on bowls and plates were the only sound in the restaurant. None of the patrons looked up at Xander, not even when the waitress had been mumbling curse words about Xander, and not even when suddenly loud cursing could be heard to come from the back of the restaurant.

"/I don't care if you can't speak Russian you little Chinese slut, go serve the dumb American at the end of the counter. Yes, that's right, take these dishes out there, yes out there you fucking idiot girl./ Came a harpies profanity laden speech as the doors to the kitchen were pushed open by the slim backside of a black haired short teenaged girl with a white t-shirt and black apron on . The girl's head was down and her face was hidden by her chin length hair as she moved behind the counter towards Xander, but he could see that her arms and hands were pruned from water and she had splatters of food on her grayish black apron from no doubt having to wash dishes.

The girl turned to face Xander, head still down and not looking at Xander as she set the food down in front of him and went to let go of the food.

Xander reached out his hand to stop her to say thank you, only for the girl to dart her hands back in a graceful move that triggered something in Xander's mind to think of Buffy when she was doing her martial arts training with Giles.

Xander's hand stopped where it was when it had missed touching her hand and he looked up into light slate grey Asian eyes on a face with a bit of Caucasian blood in it.

"Thank you…" Xander's words died on his tongue as he realized that he recognized the face that was looking at him.

It was the face from a comic book that he had read back in his original dimension.

It was the teenaged face of a trained killer, raised by the world's best assassin Cain and trained to only read body language. A killer who ran away from killing and who in the comic books would later become Batgirl.

"Cassandra Cain?" Xander questioned wide eyed.

Cassandra's eyes got large for a moment, then the only warning Xander had that he might have made a mistake was a slight twitch on her face as he suddenly found himself pulled across the counter to smash through his lunch and then straight into the wall behind the counter; face first.

The smashing sound of dishes was followed by the 'Thud!' of Xander's face impacting the wall with his nose, and then he was sliding to the floor covered in the beet soup of the borshch and covered in the crumbs from now smashed potato pirozhki.

Xander's eyes watered and the room was a blur as he heard feet quickly running away along with the waitress's voice screaming profanities in Russian and what Xander figured could be Ukrainian or another Baltic dialect.

'_Owwww_' Xander thought as he brought his hand to his nose and straightened in with a cracking sound as he set it back into place and felt as his healing factor stopped the stinging along with the blood that was flowing out of his noggin.

Standing as he shook his head, Xander realized that Cassandra had gotten away. Looking around as his vision cleared from the tears that the broken nose had caused, he saw that a back door at the rear of the restaurant was standing open with the waitress cursing in the doorway.

Taking off in a blur, Xander gave chase.

* * *

Cassandra had looked up into the face of the muscular Caucasian and had read his actions as he reached out to grab her hand, easily dodging the attempt as she had been trained since an infant to read body language and to inherently know how to counter every action.

Looking into the man's face, she read the emotions of recognition and realization that filtered through the man's face before he said her full name.

The only problem was that the only people that knew her full name were her father, the assassin who had raised her, and the people that circulated closely with her father; also not a good crowd that she would want anything to do with.

'_I will not go back.'_ Cassandra thought, though not in such words but rather in the emotions of fear and determination as she had never been allowed to learn how to speak, read, or even write.

Cassandra's language was body movement, it was action.

So Cassandra acted.

A fast grip of the nerves in the man's wrist and a slight pivot of her weight had the man's already leaning reach propel him over the counter and her ducking, pulling shoulder to be released towards the wall behind the counter.

The motion was fluid, it was exact, and she knew that the man would be stunned long enough for her to make her escape out of the restaurant and away from the job that she had been working so she could get money to move on to the next city.

Darting across the restaurant to push the old screaming harpy out of the way felt good, and then she hit the emergency release bar on the back door and was scampering down the alley way.

The cold air cut at her short sleeved shirt and cut through the thin work shirt as she twisted off the apron and threw it behind her without slowing a step.

The cold was not her concern; the training she had been forced through from the age of three until six had made her used to working in all sorts of weathers.

No, her only concern was her pursuit and how the man could have possibly found her.

Thoughts flipped through her head as she skid around one alley corner and partially ran up the building's wall and up on top of a trashcan before vaulting off of the container's lip to hook onto the lower rung of a fire escape ladder.

Cassandra tucked her body under the ladder's metal bar and spun until she was on an upwards vector and then untucked and launched off the bottom rung of the ladder to fling herself upwards in a flip to grip the window ledge above and pull her up to the stairs of the rusty iron fire escape that was located just above the window.

The metal stairway creaked as she sprinted up the stairs, hoping that she had thrown off her pursuer by leaving the street level behind.

Sprinting up the stairs for another three floors, a ladder was slightly out of reach above her, but not so much that a quick step onto the rusty railing and then a leap for the bottom rung wasn't impossible.

Cassandra seemed to fly hand over hand up the ladder before hitting the next landing and then making a leap of faith off of the fire escape and across the alley to catch the window ledge of the building on the opposite side of the alleyway.

If she hadn't lost her potential pursuer before this, then Cassandra would have liked to see them track her now as she swung side to side for a moment before using her sideways momentum of hanging onto the window ledge to launch herself out into free fall where she dropped almost a floor before snagging a drainage pipe with her fingertips to barely catch it before she shimmied up it towards the roof.

Climbing as fast as she could, Cassandra shimmied up the pipe as if she was an Olympic sprinter running the 100 meter dash; phenomenal athletic skill and incredible martial arts training allowed her to scale the building like a parkour runner on speed.

Scrabbling to the lip of the roof, Cassandra launched herself up to crunch onto the white and grey gravel covered roof with its bits of snow and ice scattered in patches.

She took a moment to look down the length of the building and noted that she hadn't been pursued at all.

Sighing to herself, she turned around to find the rooftop door so that she could get out of the cold, only to see the customer from the restaurant leaning against said door with his arms crossed and smiling at her.

"You didn't have to run. All I wanted to do was talk to you." Xander said, only to fade off mid sentence as Cassandra turned away from him to leap to the other roof back across the alley.

Xander sighed and blurred through the air.

Cassandra flailed her legs and arms as if trying to run through the air as she leaped and caught the edge of the roof with her fingertips, fingertips that hit the icy lip and slipped off.

Cassandra's eyes got large but suddenly realized that she wasn't falling.

Looking up, she looked right into the deep dark eyes of the customer who she strangely noted should have been covered in the reddish purple beet soup, but was strangely clean.

Before she could react to attack the man, she was foisted up onto the roof to land easily on her feet.

Realizing she was no longer held in the man's arms, Cassandra dropped into a fighting form and immediately swung out with a series of kicks and blows towards the man looking at her from two feet away.

To Xander the world slowed down, which was fortunate as Cassandra's kicks and flying fists were a challenge even with his speed as the skilled martial artist seemed to be able to throw kicks, elbows, and knuckles at Xander from every angle at the same time.

Xander slapped away a kick towards his face only to dodge his stomach out of the way of a kick he almost didn't see followed by twisting his shoulder to block the palm strike that had been aimed towards breaking his sternum only to have his cheek grazed by a blow that would have fractured his nose into his brain pan.

'_Shit, if I block too quickly then I'm likely to shatter her wrists or knuckles, too slow and she'll end up seriously hurting me.'_ Xander thought furiously as he ducked under a swing that attempted to take his head off. Xander realized that if he got his block or dodge into position quickly enough that he could bring his limbs to a complete stop so that she continually hit stationary targets. He figured that was a whole lot better of an option than accidentally using his mix of super speed and strength to mistakenly tear off her arm like he had done to the terrorist. Retreating also didn't seem to be an option either, as she would only run away again, and Xander felt that he had to take the risk to talk to her.

From Cassandra's perspective the man was a blur of sloppy blocking motions, but every one of her blows that connected with his muscle tissue felt like she was trying to punch plate steel. A sense of panic set about her as she realized that she wasn't able to read his body movements fast enough to make her blows connect with something that could incapacitate the man.

Blows that were originally meant to injure turned to crippling attacks, and when those still didn't connect, Cassandra panicked and went for killing blows.

Xander saw the brief flicker of panic cross the stoic faced Cassandra and barely missed having his eardrums ruptured by a cupped hand which was followed up with a hooking motion that would have torn out his trachea.

'_Shit!'_ Xander mentally cursed as he had no choice but to call up his armor.

Cassandra's fist towards his nose switched at the last minute to an eye gouge that would have driven into his brain, and she saw the man's eyes get large; right before his clothing and skin blurred over in a solid black mask and armor.

Cassandra painfully jammed her fingers against the metal mask right where the man's eyes would have been, and he merely stopped blocking and stood there as the jarring blow against metal nearly broke both of her fingers.

A knee to the man's ribs rebounded in only pain for Cassandra, and she knew that her only choice was to flee.

Turning quickly she sprinted towards the roof's edge that would lead her back to the other building, only to be cut off as the man appeared between her and her escape route.

"Stop Cassandra," Xander said, holding up his hands in a sign of peace.

Cassandra panicked and ran towards the door from the roof, only to get cut off again.

In Cassandra's mind she was freaking out, she would not go back to Cain, she would not be forced to kill again; she would rather die.

"Just stop, I don't want to hurt you. Please, I just want to talk and to help you." Xander said, holding up his hands as he slowly walked towards the retreating Cassandra who stared at him with scared eyes.

Xander saw the edge of the roof behind her and stopped walking forwards and held up his hands flat in front of him in a wait motion. The drop behind Cassandra went straight down to the street; fifteen stories below and absolutely fatal.

"Just stop." Xander said pleadingly.

Cassandra shook her head once and then closed her eyes before leaning backwards and stepping off into nothing; if her only choices were between going back to Cain and having to kill again or killing herself, then she would choose death for herself.

Xander watched stunned as Cassandra closed her eyes and tilted backwards with her arms wide, giving herself to gravity.

A brief flashback of a wide eyed screaming Janna plummeting from the helicopter shot through Xander's head in an unbidden memory.

'_No.'_ Xander thought and frowned before disappearing from sight with a sonic boom rocking downtown Moscow as Xander flew over the side of the building and literally left a vacuum for the air to fill as his body left the position he had been standing in.

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you know you are going to die, and as gravity pulled Cassandra backwards and then headfirst towards the ground, her short life flew through her mind.

Raised without love, only commands and demands, Cassandra witnessed her first murder at age four. Even before the age of four, however, Cassandra had known how to kill. Every memory of her life, wake up at dawn and the famous assassin Cain would make her run obstacle courses, fight against him, attack and 'kill' dummies, memorize pressure points and read body language. Cain would spar with her, hit her full force, and she would watch as the muscles tensed before exploding towards her face, that way she learned what to look for and how to dodge every variety of blow or kick or stab. She never had books or toys or TV or games or dolls, all she had was training and learning to kill, learning weapons, and more learning to kill. The only reason she learned she was missing out on the normal things that young girls learned and did was when Cain had taken her to kill a diplomat's family. Cassandra had watched dispassionately as Cain had slaughtered the father, mother, and six year old daughter. It was at that point that she had realized that she could have her own wants, her own needs other than the training. A simple, blood stained children's picture book had fallen to the ground, and Cassandra had handed it to Cain with a gesture that she wanted it and wanted to learn to read. She had been denied just as Cain had denied her everything but learning how to kill; no love, no family, not even the ability to communicate in writing or reading or even learning how to speak.

With her eyes closed, sixteen year old Cassandra felt the wind whistling by her, heard the cars on the street below, and gave herself to death at the same time as she realized sadly that she would never have all the things she wanted before dying.

Cassandra was surprised to feel arms wrap around her and her eyes opened to see the faceless black mask of the man who had tracked her down. She had one glimpse of the man before a black doorway seemed to open in the air between them and the street, and they disappeared into it.

* * *

Cassandra and Xander fell upwards through the black transporter portal into his bedroom in Romania. Xander and Cassandra exited the portal at floor level and traveled towards the high ceiling rather than continue in the original direction of plummeting towards the ground.

Xander slowed their assent as Cassandra hung limply in Xander's arms, surrendering to the inevitable as she realized that she was denied even death in her attempts to escape Cain.

Cassandra was unaware of their surroundings until Xander settled her softly down to place her sitting on the edge of the bed before he hovered away from her and stepped down onto the rich thick carpet.

Cassandra stared up at Xander with defeated eyes as his armor retracted and he was left wearing a Hawaiian shirt, jeans and boots.

"Bob, would you please contact Magda and Janna and send them to my room." Xander requested into the air before reaching behind him and pulling out the desk chair that he knew was there.

Sitting down reverse style with the back of the wooden desk chair facing the bed and Cassandra, Xander straddled the back of the chair and gestured towards Cassandra, "Jeese, don't scare me like that again Cassy." Xander said as he took his first big breath of air to still his heart from its racing after watching the younger girl plummet off the roof.

Cassandra just stared dully at Xander.

Xander sighed and rubbed his hand through his hair to gather his thoughts while looking down. He wasn't good with this whole heart to heart thing with girls, and he still didn't understand why he had gone chasing after her when he had realized who exactly was serving him lunch.

'_It's because you are a white knight, and just like a little girl with a yellow crayon, you can't stand to not help out a damsel in distress.'_ The voice of reason said in the back of Xander's mind while polishing a pair of glasses.

'_I hate that nick name.' _Xander groused back.

'_Still, it's true and deep down you know it. You know that if you didn't try to help Cassandra that she would continue to struggle and be hunted by Cain, eventually to become the thing she hates again after getting brain washed by the assassin and Deathstroke. You couldn't stand to see any girl tortured that way, even if it was only known to you in your subconscious.' _The voice continued in its cultured imitation of a clone of Giles with Xander's face.

Xander sighed before turning his attention back to Cassandra, "What was the jumping off the roof thing for, were you actually trying to get yourself killed?" He questioned.

Cassandra glared at Xander and crossed her arms, a bit of the earlier defiance coming back to her as he noticed her eyes catching that the only visible exit was the door behind Xander or the very solid looking windows that she would have to pass Xander to get to.

"Let me guess, you'd rather be dead than go back to Cain?" Xander questioned with an eyebrow raised in query.

Cassandra vigorously nodded her head before looking Xander over; her hands dropped to her lap where she unconsciously crinkled up the dirty denim work pants she was wearing.

Xander sighed again before speaking, "I'm sorry to scare you Cassandra. Honestly, I was startled to see you, but let me promise you that I will never force you to go back to Cain and that no power on earth would let him get you here." Xander stated, looking across the distance and fixing her with his eyes as he willed her to trust him.

Cassandra's heart skipped a beat and she focused on the man before her, wondering if what he said was true and if he could be trusted.

Cassandra lifted one hand in a sort of questioning shrug like gesture; trying to ask what the hell the man wanted if he wasn't going to force her to go back to Cain.

Xander quirked a bit of a smirk before answering the silent question, "I just wanted to help you. This may seem hard to explain, but I know what you've gone through with Cain and just wanted to offer you something better than a life running away."

Cassandra stared back at Xander with hard eyes, not believing the man. All she had ever known was the indifference of Cain and the outright scorn of the strangers on her travels. A mute Chinese girl scrounging for food and money to survive as she traveled alone wasn't treated very well in a lot of the countries she had been in, and the treatment she had received at the café in Moscow was the least demeaning treatment she had received since she ran away from Cain.

Xander saw the look in her eyes and sighed again before gazing back up at her silently for a moment.

Xander's thoughts circulated through his mind, and then he realized how to explain it to her.

"Let me tell you a story Cassandra, a story about a boy who grew up in a bad place with a bad father and who had to learn to fight." Xander started, looking Cassandra in the eye as he spoke calmly.

"Once there was a young boy who grew up in sunny California, a boy who like every other child had hopes and dreams, wants and wishes. Now this boy grew up with a father and a mother, and you would probably think that would be a good thing." Xander stated looking at Cassandra before giving a bit of a sad smile, "Only, you would understand how not all fathers are caring and loving, and not all parents raise children as they should."

Cassandra hesitantly nodded in understanding as she continued to stare at Xander as she listened to his story.

Xander's words started to paint a picture in Cassandra's mind as the power of the spark helped him to relay his message about a boy growing up in a normal looking house, in a normal looking suburb, with not normal parents and a not normal life.

"Now whereas some parents are loving and give their children books and games and hugs and kisses, the boy's father taught him to mix drinks, how to clean up after his father and mother, and how to take a punch to the face and shrug it off, and how to pretty much be a slave in his own house." Xander said a bit grimly, his story echoing to parts of Cassandra that she recognized as he spoke.

"Every day the boy would get up, clean up the bottles and cans laying on the floor around his passed out parents, make a pot of coffee, and then try to get out of the house before his parents got up and beat him again for no reason at all." Xander continued, frowning as his eyes took on a faraway look as he remembered his childhood.

Cassandra remained staring at the man in front of her, realizing as he spoke that he was talking about himself.

"The boy tried and tried to make his parents happy, but nothing he did ever made them smile at him, ever made them sit down and read a book with him, ever made them spend time with him or show him love." Xander said, "The boy tried doing well in school, but his parents just said he was a brainy wimp and beat him. The boy tried to keep the house clean or to make his parents' meals, but all they did was beat him for not doing it perfectly or fast enough or they called him a girly-boy for knowing how to work around the house. The parents were not parents, they were not family, and the boy grew up knowing only abuse from what should have been his family." Xander related, and he struggled with his memories as they flashed before his eyes. But still he told Cassandra his tale.

"So do you know what this boy did?" Xander questioned.

Cassandra shook her head in the negative.

Xander sighed again before saying, "Well he got ready to run away, like what you did. He went to school that morning and figured at the end of the day he would run away and never come home. But that day, something different happened."

Cassandra stared at Xander, almost picturing the tale that he weaved.

"The young dark haired boy, in dirty clothes from the second hand store, with all of his few worldly possessions in his pocket met a little red headed girl who was crying." Xander said, starting to smile as he thought of his friend Willow.

"Now the boy knew what it was like to be sad, so he asked the girl what the problem was." Xander said, getting lost in his thoughts for a moment and stopping talking before realizing that he had stopped mid story.

"Well to make a long story short, the young boy helped the girl, and she stopped crying when he gave her the yellow crayon that he happened to have in his pocket; one of his only possessions." Xander stated with a smile. "But in giving her one of his only possessions, she gave him something in return that was worth more than anything in the world." Xander finished, pausing and looking straight in Cassandra's eyes.

Cassandra looked at Xander, hungry to know what it was the girl had given the boy in return.

"The girl gave the boy a family. For the first time in his life, the girl gave the boy a hug and the feeling of love that he had never known." Xander finished.

"The boy and the girl went on to grow up together, and when the girl was sad and picked on, the boy would stand up for her or fight off the bullies. And when the boy was bruised and beaten by his so called parents, she would bandage him and let him sneak into her room to sleep at night." Xander explained, smiling at memories of growing up with Willow as his only true family.

"As time went on, other boys and girls joined their family as they chose to get close and became sort of brothers and sisters. But the root of the story is that just because you are born with biological parents that are crap, it doesn't mean that you still can't have a family that loves you." Xander finished, trying to get his point across in a roundabout way.

Xander smiled a bit wryly at Cassandra, "Now if you haven't figured it out yet, the boy was me, and I found out that family isn't who you are born to, but who you allow to love you and who you love in return."

Cassandra looked with a bit of a quizzical head tilt at Xander, not knowing where he was going with this.

Xander sighed again; he realized he was doing that a lot in this conversation. Apparently the whole Xander story time wasn't getting his point across, so figured that it was time for the direct approach.

Xander stared at Cassandra and prefaced his words with his hands, "Frankly Cassandra, I know about your life with Cain." He started, putting his hand to stop her from panicking as he saw her tense up.

"Wait! Not because I know Cain or am a mind reader or even was stalking you. Really, I was surprised to see you in Moscow. Frankly I've been surprised to see so many different people that I had learned about in my dimension. But, well, I know you Cassandra Cain because in the world I come from we can see what happens in this world, see exactly how you were raised and live." Xander explained.

Cassandra paled for a second before blushing and looking away from Xander's eyes, for of course what else would a teenager think of when somebody tells them they had been watching them their whole life.

Xander's eyes got large and he quickly waved his hands in front of himself, "No! Not like that, no um, show stuff or anything like that." Xander said when he realized what she was thinking, and it was his turn to blush again.

"What I meant is that I've seen how Cain raised you." Xander said seriously. "I know you ran away because you saw that man die and as he died you read the panic and fear that was cut off by nothingness. I know you always longed for a family, wanted to learn how to read, to speak, to have love. And well, I just wanted to help you." Xander finished, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck as he thought about how much to tell her.

Cassandra stared at Xander in rapt attention, trying to figure out if this guy was serious or not.

Xander looked Cassandra right in the eyes and decided to go for broke and lay out all the cards on the table. "Cassandra, I'll tell it to you straight. If you don't want what I'm offering, then I can take you right back to Moscow or anywhere else in the world and let you go. Heck I'll even give you enough money so that you can make your way in the lap of luxury, but you have to know what possibly awaits you if you choose that path." He finished seriously.

"Not only are we able to see your past in my original world, but we are able to see your future, the future that may be if you decide to leave here and the offer I'm going to make you." Xander stated, and he realized that he had Cassandra's full attention.

"In your original story, you don't run into me. I didn't even know you went to Russia, and frankly I wasn't in your original story." Xander explained, gesturing with a hand to show how her history had been changed a bit. "However, in your original history you didn't escape Cain fully." Xander said sadly as he saw the fear come back into Cassandra's eyes.

Xander continued on resolutely, "In your original time line, you get intercepted by Cain and Deathstroke, another assassin, I figure you know about Deathstroke?"

Cassandra nodded in acknowledgement before Xander carried on with his story.

"Now you have to understand that this might not happen since you know about it, but in your original story they catch you and brain wash you to start killing again." Xander explained.

Cassandra looked at Xander wide eyed and started shaking her head vigorously in that she would never do that.

"I know you wouldn't want to do it, but they brain wash you so that you don't realize that killing is bad." Xander said as he crinkled his forehead and eyebrows as he was sad to tell her this.

"Now that's not the end of it. Eventually you get saved by Batman and Robin and eventually you go on to wear the uniform of Batgirl, but after a while Batman dies and then you go back to being an assassin again, but this time for the League of Shadows and Ra's al Ghul." Xander explained the tragic life of Cassandra Cain as told in the DC comic books. He went on to explain how she faded out of view when she became a potential hero in Hong Kong, but that she was fighting alone again at that point in her life; alone without a family.

When Xander stopped explaining Cassandra looked heartbroken and not only a bit confused. However her introspection was interrupted as she jerked to look at the door when an old woman and a brunette in her late twenties or early thirties walked in.

Xander kept focusing on Cassandra as his nano-clanks informed him that Magda and Janna had entered the room.

"So you took the long drawn out version I see." Magda stated as she walked into Xander's view and near the end of the bed, Janna beside her and both smiling at Cassandra.

Cassandra looked from Xander to Magda and Janna and then back quizzically at Xander.

Xander looked over to Magda with a quirked eyebrow.

Magda smiled back at Xander and quipped, "Don't look at me like that, you know I'm a seer, boy. And since you chose the long drawn out story of how I saw this happening, I see that you haven't even told her who you are or what you are going to offer Cassandra."

Janna smirked at Xander, and Xander blushed as he realized that he hadn't even introduced himself.

Feeling like a little boy who just got scolded by his teacher, Xander turned back to face Cassandra who looked quizzically at him like she didn't understand the craziness that was going on around her.

"Eh, um, sorry about that. Uh, Hi, I'm Xander Harris, but most people in the world know me as The Leviathan or the Grey Knight." Xander said the last bit with a chagrined wave.

Cassandra just stared at Xander bug eyed when he said who he was before looking up at the old woman with a look that seemed to ask, "Is he crazy?"

Magda smiled down at Cassandra and answered the unasked question, "No, he's not crazy… well at least not totally." She finished the last part with a bit of a smirk at Xander who pretended to be hurt by the statement.

Cassandra just kept looking back and forth from Magda and Janna, to Xander, and then back again until Magda interrupted.

"Xander, you still haven't told her what you are offering." The Elder Kalderash stated with another smirk.

Xander blushed again before shaking it off and giving Cassandra a serious look, "Yeah, ok, well Cassandra, how would you like to be part of my family?" He finished with a smile.

Cassandra looked stunned at Xander and just stared at him.

"Yes, he is serious child." Magda said with compassion.

Cassandra wheeled to look at Magda with a bit of shock.

Magda just smiled down at Cassandra, "And no, I can't read your mind, I said I'm a seer, daughter. I see the future, or at least possible futures. You can think of me as Grandmother when you decide to accept the offer of joining our family." The old woman said with a nod.

Cassandra looked back at Xander and a myriad of different emotions flew across her face before she gestured with a shrug and two hands up in a silent question.

"Why?" Xander asked, interpreting her question to which Cassandra nodded.

Xander smiled and answered, "Because I like to help people and because you deserve to be helped."

"He's got a bit of a hero complex, always saving people. A regular white knight." Janna jokingly stated and winked at Cassandra when Xander pouted and crossed his arms but didn't deny it.

Cassandra smiled at the casual friendly teasing and raised an eyebrow at Janna.

"I'm Janna, and you can consider me a sister if you want to be part of the family. This is Bunică or Grandmother Magda, Elder of Clan Kalderash, and you've already met Xander even if he did take a long time to tell you his name." Janna said with another smile, and this time a wink at Xander.

Xander just smiled back at Janna, realizing that her infectious humor was helping to easy Cassandra into the idea.

Xander smiled back at Cassandra, who was looking at all of them.

"Now don't feel like you have to decide right here and now, but at least let us help you out and offer you a room for the night, and if nothing else the ability to speak and read." Xander offered with a simple shrug and smile before leaning on his elbows on the back of the chair.

Cassandra looked like she desperately wanted to agree but was just the slightest bit hesitant still. However Magda would have none of that and carefully leaned forward and laid a soft hand on Cassandra's shoulder.

"Come now child, let us get a warm meal into you and get you cleaned up. You look like it has been way too long since you have had good food to eat. I won't have any of my granddaughters looking like one of those stick figure supermodels." Magda said with a caring smile as she helped Cassandra up off the bed and rested her arm protectively around the young teenage girl's shoulders.

Cassandra gave a hesitant smile and nod to Magda before coyly looking at Xander and giving him a bit of a hopeful smile that saw a bit of sparkle come back to the girl's eyes.

Xander smiled and said, "Go with Magda, she'll take care of you." He finished with a wave as he leaned away from the chair back in front of him and gestured towards the door.

Cassandra gave Xander a smile and a nod before turning and being guided out the door by a chattering Magda who was already talking about getting Cassandra new clothes as well as introducing her to all of her new cousins, aunts, and uncles in Clan Kalderash.

Janna smiled and went to follow, only stopping at the doorway and turning around to smile back at Xander. "Bunică wanted me to tell you that she is proud of you, as she foresaw you bringing Cassandra home." Janna finished with a smile.

Xander gave Janna a petulant look, "Well if she knew about it, then why didn't she give me a heads up when I went to Moscow?" He questioned.

Janna just smirked back at Xander, "Because then it wouldn't happen silly." She stated with a musical laugh as she walked forward to plant a kiss on Xander, he gave her a frustrated look and shook his head at another example of the crazy life he lived.

Xander swiveled around in his chair to accept Janna's kiss, and the kiss heated up as Janna ended up sitting in his lap.

Then with perfect timing like all the chaos in Xander's life, a pop sound was heard and a portal in the air swirled to life.

"Dear Lord!" The sound of Giles's voice rang through the air, and Xander went pale and his eyes went wide open.

Still kissing Janna, Xander swiveled his eyes to the left and saw in a swirling magical portal Jenny Calendar, aka Janna Kalderash from Sunnydale, and Giles staring at Xander wide eyed.

Xander released his lip-lock and swiveled his head to face the stunned voyeurs. If Xander had brief bouts of blushing earlier, he was really red in the face now whereas the Janna on his lap had a smug smile on her face like the cat that ate the canary.

Jenny Calendar got over her shock quickly though, and was smirking back through the portal also, while Giles polished the hell out of his glasses.

"Uh yeah, Janna Kalderash, meet Janna Kalderash, and that's Giles." Xander said, still a bit red in the face, especially since the Janna in his lap refused to let go of Xander's arms that were wrapped around her.

Janna and Janna had mirror smirks on their faces and both said, "Hi!" at the exact time that the other did before both broke out in duplicate laughs.

"Good Lord." Giles mumbled again while Xander just continued to blush and look from one Janna to the next.

Giles was the first one to get back onto the point of the call when he interrupted the laughing and asked how Xander was doing.

The conversation then picked up again, with the DC Universe Janna refusing to leave her place on Xander's lap while Xander got reacquainted with his family.

The talk with Xander's Sunnydale family went well, even if Willow turned a shade of red to match her hair upon seeing Janna claiming her spot on Xander's lap. Stories about the latest big bad slayed were told by Buffy as she gave a blow by blow and quip by taunt replay of the latest action. Janna and Janna talked about how the Clans were interested in forming ties and trades between dimensions, and Xander just enjoyed reconnecting with his friends.

Finally the call finished with Xander telling Willow how much he loved her and missed her and how he was going to figure out a better way to communicate back with the other half of the Scoobies.

With that, the long-dimensional visual conference call ended, and Xander sat hugging Janna quietly as both were lost in their thoughts; the original romantic mood broken.

After a few minutes of silent thought, both resting comfortably just hugging each other with Janna on Xander's lap, they turned to each other and kissed briefly before getting up.

With a smile and hand in hand, Janna and Xander left his bedroom.

They were off to spend time with the soon-to-be newest member of Xander's family, Cassandra Cain.

* * *

**AN: And there's another chapter, a bit more of an emotional development and more grounding in the DC comic book universe by Xander. I always felt sorry for Batgirl Cassandra Cain as I felt that she was truly one of the female characters that always got the short end of the stick no matter how hard she struggled just to be loved and to have a family. There are a few other characters in the DC universe that never really had a chance to be truly happy, are never really trusted or accepted by the other heroes; all of the ones that come to mind happen to be female. Hmm, we will have to see whom else Xander will meet on his trip around the world. Shrug* Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story as it dips and weaves through action, romance, emotion, battle and development. The dance will continue, and there will be parts that individual people will like more than others. However, just like with all characters that come to life in a story, not every chapter will be romance, not every chapter will be battle, and not every chapter will be happy go lucky or even all sad. There will be a mix. Well, let me know your thoughts, and thanks for the continuing ideas and encouragement. Cheers!**


	30. Chapter 30: All Is Fair In Love And War

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: This chapter is uber long, however it didn't feel like the right place to stop earlier than where it is at; sorry if you don't like long chapters but welcome if you do. I've always thought that chapters should be written to completion, and not be based on a word count. That said, I present you with 39 single spaced word doc pages worth of story, some 21k plus words that should last you until I get the next chapter out. Honestly, a lot of the chapters before this were inspired to bring me up to the point where I could introduce certain ideas. In a few chapters will come the idea that inspired this story, and I can tell you that I'm seriously psyched about it, I absolutely can't wait to write it. Oh, I feel a insane laugh coming on! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Whew, that's better. Anyway, please let me know if you like this long chapter or would prefer shorter chapters more quickly updated. I can write the next few parts of the story either way, though I can tell you that when the part that I'm really looking forward to comes about, we will see some epic stuff again (not to say that this chapter isn't epic.) Anyway, hope you enjoy, let me know which is easier/better to read, short or long chapters? Cheers!**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 30: All Is Fair In Love And War**

"War is hell and all that, but it has a good deal to recommend it. It wipes out all the small nuisances of peace-time." ~ Ian Hay

Cassandra Kalderash, the silent teenaged girl formerly known as Cassandra Cain, was overwhelmed. It wasn't a bad overwhelmed, no not at all. Rather it was the overwhelmed feeling of having a dream come true in all its weird and wonderful ways. Dreams are often not reality, and the vice versa is true as well. Thus as Cassandra was introduced and accepted by the Kalderash Clan she was both wide eyed at all the newness, but had a smile pasted across her face that even a jack hammer couldn't chip away.

On her right was the overly large aunt whose language of love was feeding everybody, and she was currently heaping large additional helpings onto Cassandra's plate faster than the girl could eat; all the while tutting that Cassandra was just too skinny.

Cassandra couldn't understand a word the lady said as rapid fire Romanian was said to her by her new aunt, but Cassy could tell that the words were being said with love and caring as smiles and constant hugs and touches accompanied the flurry of words. Love and smiles were something Cassandra had never really experienced before, but it made something deep inside of her come alive.

Across the table from Cassandra sat Xander who had gifted her with the nickname of 'Cassy' that the family around her were using. Every so often Xander would smile at her as he scarfed down a large helping of gypsy cuisine.

Cassy's eyes kept flicking up and down the table at the family around her.

There was her new uncle with the large mustache seated two seats to the left. The man played with a shiny large silver coin that seemed to dance over his knuckles through slight of hand before he would pretend to swallow the coin only to have it 'appear' out of the ear or nose of one of the giggling children at the table. The man had even reached around and pretended to pull it from Cassandra's ear and she had smiled at being included in the games even if they were silly, as it showed Cassy that she was truly accepted as part of the family.

Down the table was her new grandmother Magda, and seated next to Cassandra was her new sister Janna who also hugged Cassy every now and then. The large long table in the portion of the Castle housing the remaining members of Clan Kalderash was filled with loud boisterous family type noise, smiling and laughing, eating and chatting with each other. Though it wasn't that long since the Clan had been horribly attacked and lost several love ones, the addition of a new family member was a time to gather and celebrate the love and chaos that was a large family get together.

Xander was seated between Tara and Dora who kept his mug of coffee full and handed him servings of chicken, lamb, vegetables and potatoes before he could even ask for them. Xander enjoyed the actions around him and took part in the conversations going on, though at the same time he kept an eye on Cassandra to see how she was doing with all of the hullabaloo.

Xander watched Cassy's face as she smiled and nodded, or tried to pantomime answers with her hands and face, but through it all Xander could tell that Cassandra was a bit frustrated that she couldn't answer back to the questions and conversations that were going on at the table.

"Cassy, are you having fun?" Xander asked with a bit of a quirky smile and a sparkle in his eye.

Cassandra looked across the table and gave Xander a big smile before nodding. Only the slightest hint of a flaring nostril and a hesitation in the nod told Xander that she was still a bit uncomfortable.

"Well then, are you ready for dessert?" Xander asked with a larger smile as the table all slowly quieted down and turned to look at Xander and Cassandra.

Xander could see that the sudden quiet at the table made Cassandra a bit uncomfortable, but his continued smile at her caused her to give him a slight smile back and shake her head "no" before rubbing her belly like she was full and then a bit of a sly look came across her face before she pantomimed falling limply into her chair as if she was too full to move.

This caused everybody at the table to laugh, and the large matronly Kalderash Aunty seated next to Cassandra laughed loudly and patted Cassy on the shoulder gently.

Xander just smirked, "Oh well, then you wouldn't like the brain food I had planned then. I figured for dessert that I would use my technology to give you the ability to speak and write, but if you aren't interested…"

Xander's statement was interrupted by Cassandra's eyes growing large and she frantically started waving her hands in the negative as she sat up and reached over the table pleadingly towards Xander.

The absolute look of desperation on Cassandra's face made Xander feel badly that he had teased her about something that was obviously so important to the girl. Thus with a chagrined sort of half smile Xander apologized, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tease you." Xander said as he reached out and took Cassandra's hands and gave them a squeeze before smiling at her again.

"How about we head down to the Frank-N-Stein lab and I give you the gift of communication." Xander continued with an honest smile while giving Cassandra's hand another squeeze before letting it go and pushing back from the table.

Cassandra stared up at Xander wide eyed before frantically looking at Janna and then down the table at Magda.

Both Magda and Janna smiled at Cassy and Janna slowly reached out and pulled Cassy into a one armed hug.

"We will go with you child, I am sure Xander can be trusted." Magda replied to the unspoken plea while turning her white cloudy eyes from Cassy to Xander.

Cassandra turned to look up at Xander and her features stilled into a determined look before she nodded at Xander.

Xander almost laughed as Cassandra's look reminded him of Willow's 'resolved face,' but he held it in and instead wiped his mouth with his napkin before setting it down on his seat and leading the way to the doorway. Cassandra, Janna, Dora, Tara, Magda and Igor all excused themselves from the table and got up to follow Xander through the Castle.

As Xander led the way through the twisting halls and down the stairways towards the basement, Magda and Igor walked behind Cassandra while Janna, Dora and Tara surrounded Cassy to the sides and behind and held her hand or hugged the silent and slightly worried teen as they walked along.

As Xander stopped in front of a solid black metal door, he turned around to smile back at Cassy while pushing his hand against a biometric panel on the wall. "Don't worry Cassy, this won't hurt at all." He said before leading the way into the room as the door slid open.

As lights turned on automatically around the large laboratory, spotlights immediately rotated towards two large medical beds in the middle of the room; two tables that had dangling kitchen sieves above them with wires that led to a long flat multileveled rack of glowing liquids, toasters, bar-b-q grills, and a keg-orator with a tap labeled "Spark-ale."

Xander gestured for Cassandra to hop up on the table on the left while he started fiddling with the switches and explaining what was going on.

"So I took the Black Heterodyne's notes regarding the Frank-and-Stein system and figured that if I used it as a base I could transfer and swap skills and abilities that would be fully accepted by the brain without having to relive the experiences of the donors." Xander lectured as he pulled out a loaf of sliced white bread and stuck it in the toasters slots before pushing down the button to start the bread toasting. "Using the idea that memories are better grounded in scent than in sights or sounds, we use brain food, the sparkly relaxing brew of Spark-ale… get it spark-ale, sparkly." Xander turned and smiled at his audience who mostly humored him with a nod while Cassandra just looked confused being as she wasn't used to Xander and his mad science.

"Well anyway, so through the use of science we get the sausages grilling, the ale flowing, and we allow the information to flow until such time as we smell burnt bread." Xander explained as he pulled out two steins from under the keg-orator, topped them off with frosty Spark-ale-y goodness and then mentally ordered a package of Bratwurst to be transported down from the Castle's main kitchen.

Xander smiled, a bit madly, and started whistling a bit of an odd tune as he walked over to Cassandra before lowering the kitchen sieve with the wires attached to it down onto Cassy's head. Xander attached a chin strap under Cassy's chin and handed one of the full steins of ale over to Cassandra while Janna held Cassy's free hand and smiled and nodded assuringly.

Xander then jogged around the table while spilling a bit of the Spark-Ale and hopped up to sit on his own medical table. Resting the wet mug of ale between his legs Xander reached up and situated the second kitchen sieve onto his own head before connecting the chin strap.

"Ok, normally I hate alcohol, but it's important for the transfer procedure, so drink up… or as Tony Harris always said, chug it like a man." Xander said before tipping the mug of ale back and swallowing the beverage down quickly before grimacing a bit and then laying back.

Cassandra looked a bit scared but followed Xander lead, chugging the ale before coughing and trying to keep the foam from coming back up her throat. She then looked over at Xander questioningly.

"Ok, we just lay back and close our eyes, and by the time we smell the bread burning we should be set." Xander stated as he started to lie down.

Cassandra lay down and closed her eyes, but Xander hesitated to lie down fully, pausing to turn and look at Igor who was standing beside his bed. Xander whispered, "Um, Igor, if you smell something that smells like spicy Mexican food, please kill the power." Xander finished with a bit of a cringe, but then lay down anyway and closed his eyes.

* * *

Five minutes later, a waft of smoke flickered and grew from the toaster until to blackened pieces of black charred carbon, formerly known as bread, shot out of the toaster's slots with a "Ding!"

The five minutes of silence had been watched over by the audience of Dora, Tara, Janna, Magda and Igor as they were witness to the eyes of Xander and Cassandra moving incredibly rapidly under closed eyelids. While the eyes were doing an imitation of REM sleep, Cassandra's jaw seemed to be clenching and unclenching quickly in little twitching motions while Xander seemed to be practically spasming across his entire body as if he was having a seizure. Still, Igor hadn't smelled anything remotely like spicy Mexican food, so those who were merely spectators to the transfer procedure could do nothing but try and wait patiently. Only Janna seemed to be doing anything as she continued to hold Cassandra's hand firmly clenched between Janna's two hands, giving silent subconscious support to Cassy.

As the hard pieces of charred bread clattered against the floor with dull thuds and the wafting smell of burnt bread saturated the room, the twitching of both Cassandra and Xander stopped.

Cassy's eyes were the first to flutter open as she slowly turned to look over at Janna holding her hand.

Cognizance slowly seeped back into Cassandra's mind and she realized who she was looking at and smiled, "Janna… I can talk." Cassy said haltingly at first, but then with confidence at the last.

"It's Alive!" Xander's shouted as he shot up into a sitting position wide awake.

Everybody in the room slowly turned to look at Xander.

Xander blushed bright red before giving a muffled cough into his hand, "Um, uh, sorry, it's a bit of a habit after this type of thing." Xander finished a bit chagrinned.

"How are you Sir?" Igor offered, stepping up in front of Xander.

Xander turned to look at Igor, and a big smile crept manically across his face.

"I know kung fu." Xander stated before laughing a little bit insanely, forcing himself to stop quickly as he realized that Cassandra still wasn't used to him. "Um, that was an unexpected result of the transfer, I had expected it to only be a one way gifting to Cassandra." Xander spoke his thoughts out loud while rubbing his chin; it struck an interesting pose given that he still had a kitchen sieve strapped to his head.

Turning quickly to look at Cassandra, Xander questioned in concern due to the unexpected outcome of the procedure, "How are you Cassandra?"

Cassandra looked back at Xander, both of them still wearing kitchen sieves strapped to their heads and the wires and tubes attached to her head swung and tangled with her movement. Cassy hesitantly moved her jaw around a second before turning and smiling at Xander, "I can speak English." She said happily, and then looked confused for a moment before tilting her head to the side inquisitively, "/And apparently Romanian/" "/German/" "/French/" "/Russian/" "/As well as Sumerian, Latin, ancient Egyptian and something that I know to be bits and pieces of a demonic language…/" Cassandra finished, switching between the different languages that Xander had imparted from his mind into hers.

She finished looking inquisitively but not with anger at him, "So how come you now know kung fu?" Cassy stated, still a little bit unsure of the sound of her own voice and with her vocal cords feeling a bit sore after a lifetime without use.

Xander stared Cassandra right back in the eyes before rubbing his neck with his hand as he was a bit uncomfortable.

Staring right back at Cassy, Xander honestly replied, "Seriously? That was an unexpected side effect actually, and I'm happy it wasn't a fatal one." Xander had thoughts about his calculations for the experiment run through his head, and he realized with a wince that he had transposed the X and the Y before the Z.

Xander's brain flew through the factors and the information that he had learned from the procedure that had gone partially wrong. "From what the information gained from the transfer is telling me, your ability to communicate by reading body language was so tied into your training and martial arts skills that the system needed to upload your fighting and training into me before it could translate the ability to speak and write languages back into something you could use. Without that you would have lost your ability to read people or use your martial arts training when you gained the ability to speak and write."

Cassandra just stared at Xander for a second in thought, wondering if she had mistakenly put her trust in Xander only for him to take advantage of her. But as she quickly thought it through she realized that he had only helped her out and the body language she was reading off of Xander was telling her that he was being completely honest about the unexpected result.

Smiling, she nodded at Xander before realizing that she could say something rather than just pantomime answers. Now it was Cassy's turn to blush and smile chagrinly as her new family chuckled at her.

"Ok, consider it an exchange of gifts." Cassy said with a smile as Janna, Dora and Tara all rushed the table and gave Cassy a big group hug of squee'ing females.

Xander watched the interaction with a smile, even thought the high pitched squeal was a bit painful with his super human sense of hearing. Putting a finger in his ears and twisting them for a second with a cringe to get the ringing out of them, Xander responded with a smile. "If anything, I do thank you for giving me an unexpected gift, even though I've cursed you with my chicken scratch hand writing." He said the last part with a smirk and a wink to let her know he was joking.

Then with a smile that wouldn't melt butter Xander added with an innocent voice, "Though I may have given you one more skill than you asked for."

Cassy looked at Xander quizzically as her new sisters stepped back. Cassandra looked down as she tried to think about what other information Xander could have transferred to her. A thought came to mind, and she looked up at Xander with a raised eyebrow.

"What is this Street Fighter thing, and why do I suddenly have an urge to eat something called a Twinkie?" She asked inquisitively and very puzzled.

Xander's smirk seemed to grow from ear to ear before he quickly popped the latch on his 'helmet' and blurred to appear next to Cassandra's table.

Smiling largely, Xander quickly released the chin strap from Cassy's sieve hat before taking her hand and helping her off the table.

"Come on little Sis, let me teach you the time honored pastime of video gaming and junk food." Xander said with a smirk before calling for a portal and disappearing through it dragging Cassandra behind him excitedly.

* * *

"Hadouken!" "Ai Ai Ai!"

"Wa ha ha ha, you have much to learn grasshopper when it comes to the arts of game-fu." Xander taunted Cassy after his Ryu character beat Cassandra's Chun Li again.

All around the couch that Xander and Cassandra were sitting on were the empty wrappers of Hostess products, bags of chips and empty soda cans

"Smack." Janna bopped Xander up the back of the head from behind the couch, "You're supposed to let your little sister win every now and then Xander." She teased him.

Xander looked from Janna back to Cassy and rubbed the back of his head humorously in mock pain, "Hey, Jesse never let me win when I was learning how to play video games at his house, and I'm not going to go easy on her just because she's a girl." Xander groused playfully while looking back over his shoulder and up at Janna.

"Smack" A hand from behind Xander smacked him upside the back of the head.

Xander slowly turned wide eyes towards Cassy and saw her grinning at him with a sparkle in her eye.

"Hey, see what you've taught her?" Xander said with a pout towards Janna as he crossed his arms across his chest a melodramatic fashion, he could barely hide the smile that wanted to creep across his face.

Janna had no sympathy for Xander and merely crossed her arms under her breasts before smirking back at Xander in such a way that would have made Cordelia proud, "Serves you right for picking on your new sister. Besides, we girls have to stick together, isn't that right Cassy." Janna finished towards Cassandra.

Cassy imitated the body language of Janna almost perfectly, crossing her arms across her chest and giving Xander the same type of smirk, "Right." She chirped, before breaking down in giggles.

Xander looked from one girl to the other and then mock pouted, "Great, just great. What is this, gang up on Xander day?"

Both girls looked at each other and smiled before stating in unison, "Yep!"

Xander tried to continue the pout, but he couldn't help the smirk that crawled across his face at seeing Cassandra fitting in so well.

Just then Tara and Dora bounced into the room in flannel pj's that still looked incredibly cute, given that not all of the buttons were done up on the tops and were showed expanses of free floating breasts.

"Bed time!" The two minion members of Xander's girls cried out as they skipped into the room towards Xander, Janna and Cassandra.

"Great!" Xander said, only to see both pajama clad girls bypass Xander and snag the hands' of Janna and Cassandra and start dragging both girls out of the room.

Xander was a bit stunned, "Wait, but, uh, I thought…" He started to mumble confused.

"Girl's slumber party, night night Xander!" Tara and Dora chimed out together while all four girls were smiling and Cassy was looking especially excited as she once again got to experience something that she had never had as a child.

"But, but..." Xander mumbled at a loss for words.

The four girls all looked at each other and giggled before pushing Cassandra towards Xander, "Give your big brother Xander a hug good night and then we can go have fun." Janna stated with a gesture towards the still startled Xander.

Cassandra looked at the girls with an inquisitive look before turning to Xander and walking over and giving him a hug.

Xander came out of his startled state and returned the hug with a smile as he patted the shorter teen Cassy on the back and gave her a little squeeze. "Good night Cassandra, welcome to the family and sleep well."

A muffled, "Goodnight Xander." Issued out of Cassy's who was hidden under her shoulder length hair, speaking into his shoulder as she bent over and gave Xander a squeeze in return before she let go and seemed to glide in happiness back towards the rest of the girls.

The four girls then all smirked together before waving at Xander and traipsing out the door with a "Night Xander" and a bounce in their step.

Xander couldn't help but smile at the interaction between the girls and the happiness that Cassandra was showing, even if he was being left behind.

Somehow Cassandra just pinged Xander's older brother and protector instincts, and the primal spirit in Xander's head seemed to be giving off emotions agreeing with protecting the young pup.

'_Just wait until you have to give some suitor the shovel speech, only your speech will include the possibility of painfully scientific experimentation and the scattering the boy's atoms across the galaxy if he makes her cry.' _The voice of Xander Heterodyne stated in Xander's mind.

Shaking his head with a smile, Xander stood up off of the couch he had been sitting on and moved over to turn off the game system and TV before stretching and looking out the window on the other side of the large private entertainment and game room.

Though it was dark outside and Xander could see the lights of the city outside and down the hill from the Castle, he didn't feel remotely tired.

Something Xander had been realizing since using his super speed more recently was that he really didn't need the amount of sleep that he used to get back in Sunnydale. Sure back then he had been out till about midnight or one AM patrolling with Buffy and gang, but he still got his eight hours of sleep a day; what with History, English and Math classes being prime nap periods in addition to his time back in his bed at the Harris household. Then there had always been Saturday and Sunday mornings where Xander's parents didn't wake up from their alcohol induced hibernation until at least one o'clock in the afternoon. Those weekends let him sleep in plenty late and still have time to disappear from the house before his drunken biological material donators awoke.

Here and now though, Xander figured that he could get by with three to four hours of sleep a night and feel like he was completely rested.

Querying his internal nano-clanks, Xander was mentally told that the time was only ten thirty at night in  
Romania.

Cracking his back to the left and to the right, Xander thought to himself, '_Well, if the girls are going to be busy, then I might as well try out some of these new fangled fighting skills that Cassandra donated.'_

'_Ah yes Xander-san, remember, wax on, wax off.'_ A new voice that Xander had never heard before said inside his mind.

Xander's eyes went large for a second before he face palmed himself with a smack and then shook his head.

"Just great, now I have Mr. Miyagi in my head." Xander groused before shaking his head and calling for a portal.

A black portal opened up and Xander stepped through into a gymnasium with a large padded wrestling mat in the middle of it.

Even at this late hour several of the minions that lived and worked in the Castle were working out on the machines along the edges of the mat, and several female Jägerkin were having a knock down drag out biting and eye gouging fight on another part of the mat; in short the Jägers were having a light spar in the gym.

Xander stepped out of his portal onto the mat and nonchalantly stepped over the flailing arms and legs of the brawling Jägers while the minions continued to work out with the weights and exercise machines. The current residents of the room only gave Xander a brief look before continuing their work outs, as they didn't know who he was given that there were so many people working in the Castle.

Xander made a small hop to the left to dodge the rolling tangle of female Jägers, and smiled at the antics of fighting female Jägers. A brief thought went through Xander's mind that it was interesting that they seemed to be furred in what he considered more feminine tones as compared to the more darker base colored male Jägers.

Though the original Heterodyne universe was more paternalistic and mostly employed males in the ranks of the Jägerkin, Xander was an equal opportunity monster maker. Xander hadn't turned aside any of the willing recruits to the Jägerkin ranks, which when taking into account that women tend to live longer than men it meant that roughly half if not greater than half of all of Xander's Jäger military forces were made up of females who chose the Jägerbrew rather than to die of incurable old age. Xander had no bias against woman in combat, he was pretty sure that working with the Slayer for a couple years had left the thought that girls couldn't fight thoroughly debunked.

Xander carefully threaded his way through the rolling moving brawl and over into an area of the large mat that left him with roughly twenty feet in all directions that was free of any human or Jäger.

Closing his eyes and slowly taking a deep breath, Xander seemed to fall into himself and embraced the skills that he had accidentally gained earlier that evening.

Standing with his feet together and bringing his hands together at waist level in two fists Xander slowly pulled his arms up with his fists gliding upwards in front of his chest until they reached his sternum. At this point Xander slid slowly to the right with his right and left arms pivoting at the elbow and extending as his right foot raised up fluidly and stepped out into a Wushu extended horse stance.

Hands seamlessly fluttering from fist to spear with thumb elegantly moving in perfect precision, Xander slowly transformed the move into a kata that Cassandra had learned as a child.

A brief subconscious thought that Xander's current clothing was bothering him while going through the movements went through his mind as he swept his foot to glide across the mat while his arm moved up to do a simulated high block before executing a head and shoulder roll to dodge under an imaginary attacker's kick.

Xander's Hawaiian shirt and tight under t-shirt rippled and disappeared down his body to leave his upper torso exposed while his pants shrunk into tight spandex like biker or sprinter shorts that cut off just above his knees. This left Xander's full six foot plus form of chiseled muscles exposed, and one of the female minions running on a treadmill forgot to continue her run and was in turn flipped backwards off of her exercise machine.

Still Xander flowed through the kata with his eyes closed, ignoring the world around him, before finishing the Wushu form and falling into a slightly more energetic crane style which quickly gave way to the aggressive quick clawing motions of tiger style kung fu as his speed increased.

Xander continued to breathe deeply, allowing the forms that had been implanted in his mind to seamlessly control his body as if he had gained the instincts of practicing the fighting methods from birth.

Kung Fu became Tae Kwon Do which became Okinawan Karate before flowing into Muay Thai and then French Savate before merging into Silat, and still Xander's speed increased as the power of his blows and animalistic damage that he seemed to bring to his invisible adversaries increased.

Silat moves flowed through animalistic forms as Xander's muscled form rippled with silently graceful contained strength, before becoming powerful Brazilian Capoeira moves that felt more comfortable with Xander's usual brawler tactics.

In the back of Xander's mind a pounding beat began to drive his blows and movements as the sound of his heartbeat was punctuated with his slapping footfalls and heavy blows that cut the air with elbow strikes and clenched fist punches that would have disintegrated concrete. Though the same forms that best fit Cassandra's body were those that were more fluid and graceful, that didn't mean that she hadn't known and mastered the more violent power based forms that Xander felt fit his style and strength best.

Capoeira became Israeli Krav Maga before turning into Russian Sambo and even a bit of Marine Fu and American special forces S.C.A.R.S as Xander started to literally tear apart the mat around him as he simulated body blows, take downs and elbow strikes that broke the sound barrier with his inhuman speed and strength.

It was at this point that the internal pounding beat in Xander's mind was matched by counterpoint punches and body plows against the padded mats as Xander threw himself around his fighting area in vicious attacks at super blurring speeds. At this stage of Xander's sparing, only the Jägers in the room could fully follow Xander's motions as they continued to break the sound barrier. The pack of female Jägerkin had totally stopped their fight to watch in wide eyed amazement the incredible violence and lethality of the individual destroying a fourth of the gym. And just like a Slayer, nothing turned on a Jäger more than violence.

The booming of the speed of Xander's blows shook the room so much that those who had previous been working about or sparring on their own had all stopped to cover their ears and watch Xander's action as his one man battle shook the Castle.

Xander continued to keep his eyes closed, and a smirk grew across Xander's calm face as he came out of a foot sweep spin at ankle level which turned into a flying flip kick that landed with a vicious heel strike that blew through the foam mat, cracked the stone floor, and left a divot in the underlying metal beneath.

That's when the goofy side of Xander decided to add in a bit of the fighting techniques from the Street Fighter game into his improvised merging of fighting techniques.

A jumping uppercut that used his flying ability to launch him towards the fifty foot ceiling turned into a flip kick that launched him toward the mat with a brutal knee drop that landed with a shuddering BOOM before Xander rolled forwards into a flying multi kick that would have made Chun Li from the Street Fighter video game proud.

A dragon swing kick that would have taken off a person's head became a swirling whirlwind as Xander launched himself across the room traveling forward while his extended foot spun around him like a tornado or a buzz saw as he shouted Tatsumaki-Senpū kyaku (Tornado Whirlwind Kick).

As Xander landed out of his whirlwind kick he let the momentum of his spinning kick turn him back towards the direction that he had originally come from and brought his hands together at his chest before extending them and opening his eyes as he yelled "Hadouken!"

Xander opened his eyes just as he realized what he was doing and saw a bright blue ball of energy launch from his hands straight at the pack of stunned and staring Jägers who had stopped their brawl in order to watch "da hottiez fightzing moves."

Xander's eyes got large.

The Jägers' eyes got large.

And a smattering of minions and Jägers dived to the sides to dodge out of the way of the sizzling energy ball as if Xander played the proverbial part of Moses parting the Red Sea.

The energy ball zipped across the room with a sizzling sound before it exploded and disintegrated a section of the gym's back wall with a thunderous "KABOOM!" that knocked nearby spectators off their feet.

The rumbling shaking of the explosion rattled the room, and all of the minions and Jägers in the room who had followed the path of the energy ball slowly stared at the new door into the gym before turning back to look at Xander.

The crowd was silent as they stared from the silent goggle eyed Xander to the smoking hole in the wall, then back at Xander.

Finally the silence was broken by one of the somewhat drooling female Jägers.

"Canz I havez yur baby?" A pink furred Jäger asked Xander with a panting smokey voice as she laid sprawled out on the wrestling mat from where she had dived for safety.

All of the minions and Xander turned to stare stunned at the Jäger before said female Jäger shrugged.

"Whutz? Hez dangerous, muskled and deadly sexzy." The pink furred Jäger answered like it was the most logical thing in the world.

"Vel, he didz tries taz killz us, and datz is da vurst stepz tavards foreplayz." A female light green colored Jäger answered before looking at Xander with bedroom eyes and licking her lips. The other four female Jägers who had previously been involved in the 'exercise sparring session' looked like they were getting ready to pounce on the shirtless and tight shorts wearing Xander.

Everybody else in the room looked wide eyed from the Jägers, to Xander, then back to the Jägers, and then back again to Xander.

Xander realized that his curse of attracting non-human girls was alive and well, and he turned pale before gulping.

Xander looked around quickly for an escape before stuttering out, "Uh, um, uh… Look at that!"

Xander finished with a wide eyed excited yell and pointed behind the Jägers and the crowd.

While everybody swung to look where he was pointing, Xander disappeared in a blur out of the gym.

The pink furred Jäger turned around to face where Xander was and gave a frustrated swing of her fist and snapped her fingers with a growl when she realized that he had escaped. "Shuckz, hez gonez. Doz anybody know vho dot vas?" She asked as she propped herself up on her elbows from where she had been on the floor after diving away from the energy ball. She fanned the collar of her shirt to cool herself down after getting hot and bothered due to the deadly, violent and heavily muscled man who had been wearing nothing but tight workout shorts.

The other female Jägers just looked at each other and shrugged with similar looks, though a fuchsia colored Jäger sniffed the air and turned to smile towards the others and said quietly so that only the other Jägers could hear, "Hez smelz very gutte, likz der Heterodynez."

The other female Jägerkin all looked at each other before all taking a big deep breath, and then smiling largely at each other. Several silent hungry smiles were shared between the group before they all nodded to each other and started to leave the gym.

"Just vait untilz da uder goylz hearz aboutz dis von." The pink furred Jäger stated as she picked herself off the floor and followed the other female Jägerkin out of the gym; she couldn't wait to tell the other female Jägers in the military about how Da Boss vas a bigz Hottie.

Even with the smoking wreckage of the wall, the torn apart wrestling mat, and the damage to the audience's hearing that was being repaired by their nano-clanks, the minions all just shrugged and went back to what they had been doing before they were distracted by the unknown fighter.

After all, it was just another normal evening in Romania since The Leviathan took control.

* * *

Xander woke up early the next morning when Igor entered the Castle's master bedroom with a large tray of toast, scrambled eggs, coffee, and several large piles of paper.

"Good morning sir, we have a bit of business to take care of today, but you should be free by dinner time." Igor stated as he set the tray down on the bed within reach of Xander and then moved about the room tidying it up a bit.

Xander picked up a piece of buttered toast and took a bite out of it before chasing down the toasted bread with a swallow of coffee.

Brushing the crumbs off his hands so they fell to the floor instead of on his hands, several little clanks scooted out from under the bed with little vacuum cleaner attachments to clean up the mess while Xander ignored the action in order to concentrate on the paperwork in front of him.

"A mutual defense treaty with the Amazon Nation… A request to franchise out our healing technology to the rest of the world… requests to purchase power from France, Germany and even the UK and a petition from a Kaznian separatists group in Bosnia Herzegovina. What is this Igor?" Xander looked through the different pieces of paper before turning to look up at Igor to question what the paperwork was for.

Igor finished sorting through scratch paper designs for devices that had been scattered across the desk and floor in one corner of the room and turned to answer Xander. In a stoic blank faced look akin to a proper butler's Igor replied, "Those are the decisions that only you can address sir."

Xander looked at Igor with a raised eyebrow, encouraging his chief assistant to continue explaining.

"Based on your directions to date Sir, I, along with the Castle, the Chateau, and the rest of your AI's and subjects have been managing your empire under the subsidiarity principal that we will only bring those decisions to you that only you are capable of answering. What with Castle Bob having an imprint of your mind and the vast intellectual, industrial and economic capabilities at hand, we have been able to do a majority of the managing of your assets and empire, but alas sir every overlord must deal with some paperwork." Igor completed with a wave towards the foot tall stack of paper sitting on Xander's bed next to the tray of food.

Xander looked from Igor then back to the paperwork and then flipped through it again to see a few of the other topics that needed to be dealt with. Looking to Igor with a raised eyebrow Xander added, "And you just figured that this was the way to do things when ruling an empire?" Xander asked, not that Xander was angry or anything that decisions were being made for him without his direct counsel, but merely interested in Igor's answer. After all, the growing empire and economic concerns seemed to be growing nicely.

"Sir, Castle Bob tells me that your family managed the Pax Transylvania of the original Heterodyne universe through the simple subsidiarian principal of "Don't make me come over there." Basically Sir, if it worked to manage and keep peace throughout a Europe filled with sparks, then we figured we shouldn't tamper with a system that already worked well." Igor stated with a nonchalant wave of his hand as if to punctuate the logic of the statement.

"Hmm, if it ain't broke don't fix it?" Xander said, looking up from the papers while rubbing his chin in thought before focusing down on the issues presented in the paperwork.

"Exactly Sir. Besides, based on your reactions to threats, we felt that you were already following the past Heterodyne and Wulfenbach traditions of your family; that being you the Master was left to your inventions and high level decisions unless the need for overwhelming force was called for in order to further your goals or protect your realm." Igor finished while picking up a pen set from the desk and bringing it over to Xander at the bed.

Xander pondered what Igor stated, _'Hmmm, I do remember the family motto of 'Don't make me come over there.'_ Xander thought while he continued to rub his chin, realized he had a bit of beard stubble on it, and then mentally commanded the nano-clanks in the skin on his face to shave it off.

'_Yes, Grandfather Klaus came up with that leadership style after the Wulfenbach Heterodyne alliance.' _The voice of Xander Heterodyne reminded Xander in the back of his head. _'Basically it was the idea that we allowed the countries to manage themselves and keep their own cultures until something we didn't like threatened, at which point we responded with swift overwhelming and often terminal force. It was quite effective.' _Xander's Heterodyne self stated in Xander's mind with a bit of a bloodthirsty grin while memories of the Heterodyne and Wulfenbach families crushing all opposition in Europe flitted through Xander's mind.

Xander smiled while delving into happy memories of world domination in another universe before coming out of his daydream to realize that Igor was standing silently next to the bed and offering over a pen with which to start working.

Xander turned his smile towards Igor and thanked him for the pen before starting to go through the paper work.

"Hmm, let's get the easy ones out of the way first." Xander said to himself while he nibbled on the back of the pen while quickly reading the request by the Amazon Nation for a mutual protection pact. Queen Hippolyta's letter suggested that The Empire of the Leviathan would be a likely ally in issues of war and force as both relatively small countries had similar feelings about war and peace.

"Hmm, hard choice here." Xander said a bit sarcastically with a smirk on his face, "Do I want to be allied with an empire that is pretty much made up of gorgeous Slayer types… hell yes." Xander finished with a smirk and a flourish of his pen as he signed 'The Leviathan' on the treaty paperwork. Reading down the page he saw that there wasn't going to be any major signing event as the Amazons didn't like to leave their island home and enter 'Man's World.' Xander handed over the Amazon paperwork to Igor before pausing mid motion with a thought.

"Hmm, since I'm on the topic of Islands and Oceans." Xander segued as he turned his head to look at Igor. "Do you know where Toot is?" Xander queried.

A flash of light at floor level and a "Toot!" sound happened before Igor could answer.

Xander smiled and looked down next to Igor's robe shrouded legs to see the original little clank that Xander had created in Metropolis, standing at attention and saluting Xander with a little metal clawed hand.

"Hey ya Toots, how ya doing?" Xander asked doing a goofy, imitation of Humphrey Bogart, just because Xander would always be prone to goofy Xander type quips.

"Toot toot, toodly toot toots." The little clank answered, its one little eye blinking as its hands waved in gestures to punctuate its statements.

"Well it's good to hear that you've completed work on the Kaznian infrastructure, emptying out all the mountains and shoring up the walls. Tell the gang high from me." Xander responded, to which the little clank returned an affirmative "Toot!"

Xander's face took on a serious look, "Now I've got a new mission for you and the rest of the little clank brigade, and a part of it might be dangerous." Xander stated.

The little clank shot to attention, little round body straight and arms like ramrods against her sides like she was a soldier being sent on a mission.

Xander smiled at the clanks reaction.

"I want you and the other little clanks to clean up the floating garbage patches in the Pacific and Atlantic Ocean, especially the large North Atlantic Garbage. Transport the refuse to our holding facilities to be rendered into usable material, and then I want you to deliver a message for me." Xander ordered.

Waiving his hand at what looked like a large hanging tapestry of medieval battles fought by the Black Heterodyne that was on the wall between Xander's bed and armoire, the tapestry shimmered and became an active display of the map as relayed to the Castle via Xander's satellite network of little clanks.

Xander communicated with his nano-clanks to broadcast to the castle that a red blinking blip would appear in the mid-north Atlantic Ocean, right near the underwater trench that split the ocean.

"Right there, about seventy something miles north of these Portuguese islands is the underwater city of Atlantis." Xander stated with a wave from his position still sitting on the bed, but pointing towards the blinking dot on the interactive map. "I want you to take a recorded message to Orin the Sea King of Atlantis, otherwise known as Aquaman. I want you to tell him that my cleaning the garbage patches is The Leviathan's gift to Atlantis, and that I seek an alliance with him, but I would like to meet in person to discuss the alliance and how our two empires could benefit from trade with each other." Xander finished with a slight sparkle in his eye, as plans and possibilities filtered through his mind.

"Toot toot. Toot!" The little clank agreed and then saluted.

Xander grinned at the little construct, "I know you will do a good job. In order to get your message safely to Atlantis, come down to my lab later today and I'll give you a few dozen upgrades. Sounds good?"

"TOOT!" The little clank answered excitedly and bounced up and down from one foot to the other as it did a little imitation of Xander's happy snoopy dance.

Xander laughed, and even Igor smiled at the little clank's reaction. The laughter drew the attention of the pocket watch sized robot that stilled for a second when she realized what she was doing, before rapidly coming back to attention.

Xander just smiled and announced, "At ease soldier, you are relieved to carry about your orders."

The little clank saluted again with a toot before disappearing in a flash of transporter light.

Xander smiled and shook his head before going back to reading through the paperwork.

Xander silently read through the paperwork, making a mark here or there until he got to the request from foreign companies to license or franchise The Leviathan's healing technology. "No, no, no… hell no." Xander said as he read through offers from Queen Industries, Wayne Enterprises, Johnson and Johnson and LexCorp.

"If I might intrude sir, the real question has to do with how you want to share any of the promised healing cures that you have." Igor added to Xander's train of thought. "Already our embassies have lists of millions of people dying from cancer and other traditionally incurable diseases who are begging for your help." Igor explained as he sorted through a few of the pieces of paper on the bed and pulled out a spreadsheet listing the numbers of people by country who were begging for The Leviathan's aid.

"At the bottom you will see the 'other' category Sir. That details the last census data from the camps of individuals staying in tent cities around our borders requesting to come in." Igor explained as he reached over Xander's shoulder to point at a specific figure that was in the low tens of millions.

"Wow." Xander said a bit startled before starting to brainstorm rapidly. Slowly a smile started to grow across his face as an idea germinated and grew within his mind.

"He he, Leviathan land, heh." Xander said to himself as a maniacal glazed look came over his eyes as he started to hum to himself.

Mentally calling up a holographic keyboard and computer screen to appear over his bed, Xander's fingers flew across the keyboard while mentally coming up with ideas almost faster than his super speed fingers could make them come to life on the screen in front of him.

"So inside a mountain… no no, we need it open to the air. Oh my gosh that would be so cool!" Xander spoke to himself while continuing to hum as he started creating one design only to delete it and start again, "Yeah, in the air, a floating city with a Leviathan themed amusement park, city parks, medical centers and security out the wazoo." Xander 's floating city idea came to life with futuristic looking giant spires and towers that both extended miles up into the air as well as down from the bottom of a floating jagged piece of earth.

"Security, that reminds me!" Xander almost shouted as a brilliant idea came to his mind, "Not only will the city be floating, thus harder to get to through means outside our control, but we phase it out of reality like we did to Romania when we took it over. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!" Xander cackled madly with glee.

"Oh Oh, and just like that hidden city with those trigger happy hocus pocus uppity magic users, we make portals that we can control from each of our embassies and we have the city floating over my territory before we phase it out of tangible existence." Xander's eyes had a shiny insane gleam to them as thoughts and plans simply flew through his mind.

"But what will we use for the main bulk of the land needed for the city?" Xander paused suddenly, hands stilling as he tried to think of what to use for the floating city besides ripping a plot of land from the ground.

"If I may, Sir?" Igor stated as he punched a few buttons on his data pad and the holographic computer screen in the room showed some information from past endeavors.

"Ah Ha! Eureka!" Xander yelled as he instantly saw what Igor was trying to show him. "Great work Igor, we will use a large portion of the earth and stone excavated from hollowing out the mountains. That's just what I needed." Xander said with a beaming smile at his chief minion as once again his minion gave Xander just what he needed for his latest project.

"I do try Sir." Igor stated in a very blasé manner; as if pulling up the means for creating a dimensionally phased floating city that twisted gravity and was the size of London was just another part of his job that rated up there with bringing his Master coffee.

Xander was deep in thought, every now and then his tongue would stick out the side of his mouth and he would bite down softly on it without even knowing it while he continued to stare at the screen and type away on the holographic relay.

"So we use an enlarged and weaker version of the transphased dimensional energy pressure system to super compact the soil and rock into a single bedrock shape, implant it with the remaining Nth metal as a backup to our Nth metal inspired anti-grav system." Xander said to himself as the city was digitally built from the ground up in front of him on the holographic screen.

"How much Nth metal do we have left?" Xander started to ask, only before he could finish Igor had pressed a few buttons and the information came to up on the hologram.

"Excellent. Carry the zero, swap out the coefficient data and take into account the use of old Yeti's Gravity Engine designs that Mother Heterodyne learned while traveling with Master Payne's Circus of Adventure and tada!" Xander finished and sat back to gaze at the designs for his creation.

Giant crystal obsidian black towers rose elegantly from the top of the floating cityscape while lower buildings were clearly set up as amphitheaters, stadiums and large glass museums with an architecture that couldn't seem to make up its mind on whether it wanted smooth lines or hard edges. It was a mix of power, healing, might, beauty, technology, and fun and adventure as designs for lovely flowering parks and gardens were mixed in with amusement rides and Leviathan and Grey Knight inspired theme parks. The tall towers not only shot high into the air above the already hovering foundation of the city, but also seemed to defy logic by jutting out of the bottom of the huge solid compacted mass that would be the city's base. In fact, it appeared that there were two cities as if the floating city couldn't decide which way would be up and which would be down and decided to build to separate cities with trees, parks, buildings and roads on both sides of the foundational block.

"Very interesting sir, and will gravity be a problem Master Harris?" Igor questioned as he gazed at the design for the city.

"Bah, gravity smavity." Xander said with a wave of his hand and stuck out his tongue at the thought that gravity would be a problem. "Those so called laws of Gravity are more like polite suggestions. Besides, if my calculations are correct, then I'm more worried about this thing launching into orbit than crashing back to earth. Besides, it will be phased out of reality without any Earth to affect it, and if we color the energy wavelength of the dimensional shields the right color then it will look like you are gazing up into the sky no matter which side of the city you are on." Xander mentioned without a worry.

"Besides," Xander added in explanation, "The gravity tech, engines, Nth Metal etc are so interwoven into the very fabric of the city and its buildings that there is literally no way for this thing to crash back to earth no matter how somebody tried to sabotage it. I'm not about to build something on par as a Death Star and end up leaving a two foot portal open that leads to the power core. Fool an Empire once, shame on them; fool an Empire twice, shame on me." Xander finished in a flippant tone while concentrating on his designs and continuing to add little homey touches; like security lasers and weapons and a force field protected security area that people would be screened through before entering the city, you know, the kind of stuff that would make Xander feel at home in the city.

"Absolutely Sir. Very well Sir." Igor answered before forwarding the plans to Xander's other minions and robotic legions to begin the creation of the floating city of the Leviathan. After all, if the Master said it would work, it would most likely work; either that or the galaxy would probably blow up due to the accidental explosion. These were the types of things to be expected when working for the Heterodynes.

Xander was in a rather chipper mood after finishing his designs for the city, so he decided to fly through the rest of his work while continuing to chat with Igor.

"So the city should solve our problems of being able to securely administer medical aid to the masses while also showing the world the benefits of being aligned with The Leviathan; not to mention the tourist dollars." Xander explained as his fingers were a literal blur as his eyes seemed to be constantly vibrating back and forth as he read through the paper work and shuffled through it.

"Medical aid for free sir?" Igor questioned.

Xander stopped and gave Igor a bloodthirsty grin, "Of course not. Charge an arm and a leg," Xander saw the bloodthirsty grin start to form across Igor's face, so quickly added, "figuratively in this case, to those who can afford it and give free services to children and those who can't afford it." Xander commanded as Igor took notes.

Igor lost the bloodthirsty grin, but it appeared that a smirk still threatened to split the old minions face.

"What with our portals being spread throughout the world at our embassies, those who need our services can easily get there. Staff the city with a rotation of two legions of armored Jägers at all times in addition to our human workers, and please note that there will be no Lazarus vats installed in the new city. I refuse to bring back the world's dead, and we want to make people feel the cost of not being one of our citizens while seeing many of the benefits of what they could have if they joined my Empire." Xander said with an evil looking smile, "Inspire them to join my plans, to offer their countries to my control. Show them what they missed out on in the first place due to their embargos and lead the masses to join us and bring their wealth with them! Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

A joyous smile split Igor's face when he heard Xander's explanation. The evil laughter did the old minion proud. "Then the Master will finally be working towards world domination?" The Chief Minion questioned hopefully.

Xander's laughter stopped, and he turned a blank face towards Igor before going right back to work on the pile of papers.

"Nah, not trying for that, just trying to protect more people and work towards some future goals that would take more assets." Xander explained while looking back at his paperwork; he didn't see the brief look of disappointment and sadness that flashed over Igor's face before the chief minion's facial features fell back into their normal stoic repose.

"Too much work, and you get all those hero types bugging you. You're evil, blah blah blah, how dare you make the world a better place for the normal people by taking over for their ineffective governments, nag nag nag." Xander groused with a wave of his hand while continuing through the paper work.

"Sparkbucks stores all fully upgraded including security… good." Xander continued to read and check things off. "Crop growth beyond expectations and reaching capacity, good, start export sales with priority on highest quality goods going to our people and allies before opening to world market. Oh, and let's see about getting some really interesting plant species populating the parks in the floating city. See if you can use them to help keep people off the grass or something." Xander ordered nonchalantly as he knew his minion was taking notes.

Xander flipped through a few more pages, "Power sales to Europe, Africa, the Middle East and Russia, approved at a price that undercuts their energy companies but still brings us in a serious profit, excellent. Plant several of the Dyson Spheres in the newly hollowed mountains around New Mechanicsburg and a dummy bio-energy plant at the surface to route the power through it for sale to the electricity hungry United States." Xander mumbled to himself, his face flickering out of his concentration look to smile as Xander read through the good news.

Igor let slip a small smile at Xander's cutthroat ways and subtle manipulations. The chief minion was happy. Even though the master said he did not want world domination, all of his actions were pointed in that direction. Though it was different than most tactics taken by the Heterodynes before Xander, Igor thought that it these slow subtle methods may work out better than the normal "Build an army, see the world fall at you feet" method that most Heterodynes followed.

"It will be as you say Master." Igor stated with a smile.

Xander looked up at Igor due to the happy tone of his minion's voice and raised an eyebrow at Igor.

"Um, yeah." Xander stated, not quite sure he wanted to know why Igor was smiling merely because Xander was talking about sales of electricity. Xander then went back to his paper work.

"Shall I set up a dummy corporation for your energy sales, or should sales of electrical power come directly from the Empire's government sir." Igor questioned while stifling his smile back to a more staid look.

"Start up an international dummy corporation to manage the sales of power here and in New Mechanicsburg. As for a name, bah I don't know. Call it an abbreviation of Energy, or energy and natural resources organizational network or something or other. I don't care, abbreviate it and make it a shell company that doesn't really do anything but make it look like it's really selling the energy. Then funnel the money back into my projects and pockets." Xander decided on a whim as he kept the majority of his concentration on reviewing the paper work.

"Very well sir, I'll make sure to incorporate your energy sales company, with a name according to the abbreviation you suggested, ENRON. Some of your minions from New Mechanicsburg have come up with some very interesting accounting methods that may be of assistance in funneling around the money." Igor replied as he plugged the figures into his data pad and grew an evil smile due to the tingle of happiness he felt at his master's directions to create an energy monopoly.

"Yeah, I know you will do a good job. Thanks Igor." Xander responded without really listening to Igor's discussion on the form and accounting methods of the energy company, it wasn't like it was important after all.

That said, Xander flipped over another page before pausing to double check at a slower speed what he had just read.

"Igor?" Xander questioned slowly as he reread the paper.

"Yes sir?" Igor answered.

"What's this I'm reading about the Queen Bee of Bialya placing a bounty on the head of one Xander Harris for despoiling the confines of her palace?" Xander growled and a dark look grew over his face as he didn't like to be threatened.

Igor looked at the sheet that Xander had just read before pulling up a report on the data pad that the chief minion always seemed to carry with him.

Igor responded as he read down the report, "It says here in RedTree's report of information gathered from the security cameras in the palace that the Queen Bee was distraught at the mess done to her room. This led her to go eat comfort food, which for women is of course chocolate, Sir." Igor explained as he continued to read.

Xander cringed a bit at the mention of eating chocolate at the palace, but waved for Igor to continue.

"Well sir, it appears that she ate an entire fresh batch of brownies and a large bowl of chocolate pudding from her palace kitchens. The report states that the Queen suffered some gastrointestinal problems due to the large dose of chocolate. The security readouts are a bit muddled Sir, but the next thing that RedTree's report states is that the palace suffered severe plumbing problems at the same time as screams of agony were heard to issue up from the dictator's commode." Igor answered while turning a look towards a pale faced Xander.

"RedTree's report goes on to say that the timing of the incidents followed shortly before Ra's al Ghul's people notified the palace of the interference of one meta-human named Alexander Harris, no middle name. I can only assume that she mistakenly blamed you for whatever accidents befell her, Sir." Igor finished explaining the logical answer given the facts he had.

Xander stared at Igor wide eyed, before swallowing and realizing that his mouth felt a bit dry.

"Um," Xander started, licking his lips to wet them. "Heh, well what do you know, those um, pesky accidents. What is the bounty amount on my head, and what is she asking for?" Xander added while the little mental voice of what sounded like a Xander's inner child laughed his head off at Xander's expense.

'_Even in my own mind I get no sympathy.'_ Xander groused.

'_Pbttttttt!'_ A little child sized Xander in oversized clothes skipped across Xander's mental-scape before stopping to stick his tongue out at Xander's statement before skipping off again.

Xander shook his head to bring himself back to the present, just in time to hear Igor announce, "One million dollars for your death sir."

That caught Xander's full attention. "People just don't have a sense of humor any more, I mean one little prank, um I mean." Xander quickly covered for his slip of the tongue.

Igor ignored the slip of the tongue and continued to appear as if he hadn't noticed Xander's statement.

"Um, I guess I'll have to deal with her sooner rather than later." Xander groused to himself before going back to work and quickly scribbling down a "No" to the Bosnian separatists request to give them weapons or initiate a military takeover of Bosnia.

"Very well sir." Igor responded, and then stood quietly as Xander continued to blur through the paperwork before him.

Xander finished and slapped his pen down on the food tray, accidentally embedding the head of the metal pen into the cherry wood breakfast tray as he wasn't concentrating on what he was doing and was more focused on the newest problem, the Queen Bee.

"Crap, oh well." Xander groused as looked down at what he had just done to his nice breakfast tray.

Xander pushed the tray and the completed paperwork away from himself. Xander didn't really know why, but the fact that the Queen Bee had put out a million dollars for his death irked him a bit; especially since he had only played simple pranks on the palace and didn't just kill the corrupt dictator and take over her country.

Igor snapped his fingers and the pile of paper disappeared in a flash of red transporter light.

Xander pushed the tray away from himself and threw off the blankets as he jumped out of bed and resolutely walked out of the room in his pajama pants and into the bathroom.

Fifteen seconds later, Xander stepped out of the bathroom with wet hair and wearing a towel around his waist while using another towel to dry his hair after his super speed shower. "And the last two days had been going so flipping great without lady luck rearing her head. Why does this stuff always happen to me?" Xander muttered to himself rhetorically. After all, only Xander Harris could prank a person with Toilet Paper and laxatives and end up with a bounty on his head the next day.

Xander finished drying himself off and dropped the towels he had been using as the seemingly simple metal bracelets on his wrists rippled up his body to clothe Xander in a white lab coat over a black tight t-shirt, jeans and boots.

Xander stomped towards the door to his room, only stopping to state to Igor, "If anybody's looking for me, I'll be in the lab helping with projects and creating things that go boom."

"Very well sir." Igor responded with a bow as Xander swept out of the room.

* * *

"Alec, how goes the living nano-clank project?" Xander questioned as he poured a glass beaker full of viscous green fluid from a tank in a room filled with what looked like large stainless steel distilleries and masses of pipes. Glass viewports showed greenish slurry moving inside the giant tanks, almost as if the algae colored substance was alive and sentient.

Alec Holland looked up from a mushroom spore colony that was contained inside of a force field and fed by some sort of black light that glowed against the green skin of the Swamp Man's arms. Alec finished touching the fungi as swirls of floating spores danced around in the breeze made by his arms as they moved through the field to flick a mushroom and cause it to grow larger.

Alec smiled and looked up at Xander across the room; the humming swishing sound of things being stirred and agitated came from the tanks situated around the large sterile looking metal growing room. It was past dinner time, so the only inhabitants of the lab were pretty much Xander and Alec, though one tech was in the corner monitoring some test data on a floating holographic screen.

"Hey Xander." The scientist, turned Swamp Thing, turned elemental, turned sentient human looking mix of plant matter and science said in reply to Xander.

Alec stood up from where he was bent over the fungi experimentation tank and pulled his arms from the energy shield, shedding off the loose spores that had landed on his arms while he had been working. Turning to face Xander, Alec gestured towards the bottle in Xander's hands, "Yeah, that's the final version of the protein and living version of the nano-clank. Right there you have enough microscopic clanks to rewrite the DNA of a person or kill off and absorb a cancerous tumor the size of a VW bug. When they are finished, send the signal and poof, all trace of the nanites is gone as they dissolve back into their base molecular format and are absorbed by the body as food." Alec finished with a smug smirk at completing one of Xander's main projects; one that would be used as the base cure for all non Empire citizens that would be administered medical aid.

"Excellent." Xander smirked at the bottle of little swirling climbing and whirling nano-bioclanks in the beaker. Xander's smile slowly slipped and he arched an eyebrow at Alec and asked, "Have we had a successful human test yet?"

The scientist with the green thumb shook his head and answered, "Nope, everybody we have here has the base version of the metal nano-clanks and I'm not exactly the right person for a human sample."

In reply, Xander merely shrugged, mentally commanded the nano-clanks in his arm to shut down and then grabbed a pair of pruning shears that was sitting next to a pile of green saw grass that was the base for the nano-bioclank mix.

Pinching the skin on the back of his hand with the shears, Xander snipped a small cut on the back of his hand with a wince as blood immediately began to puddle and dribble down the bones and joints on his hand.

Xander tipped the beaker over, and a glop of the new biologic nano-clanks splatted on the back of his hand.

The glob of green matter seemed to writhe on the back of Xander's hand for a second, and then it looked as if they were being sucked down the drain as they cleaned up and dissolved the blood and then disappeared into Xander's body while healing the scar behind them and leaving clean unblemished skin.

Xander lifted his hand up to the light and saw that there wasn't so much as a scar where the latest version of nano-clanks had been dripped. Then closing his eyes, he sent a mental command to his Nth metal nano-clanks to broadcast the signal to the biological nano-clanks to dissolve.

Keeping his eyes closed, Xander's smiled as his internal miniature helpers informed him that in a matter of seconds every one of the tiny green machines from the new biological base material had been absorbed by the tissues of Xander's body.

"Yep, it works." Xander answered Alec back smugly.

Alec smirked back at Xander and commented, "Sacrificing the body in the name of science are we?"

Xander merely shrugged and smirked with a playful, "Sometimes you have to take chances for the advancement of Science!" He finished with a pose, head and chin up to the right and hands on his hips as he puffed up his chest.

Xander was only able to hold it for a second before both he and Alec broke down laughing.

Xander slapped Alec on the shoulder and then started walking towards the entrance to the lab, "Anyway, I just wanted to stop by while I was waiting for my dinner to cook…" He started to say but was interrupted as both Tara and Dora waltzed into the room.

Both Xander and Alec tried not to drool as Tara and Dora defined the world "HOT" at that moment. Sparkly silk almost negligee like clubbing dresses stopped just low enough to hide their crotches and bums and long unclad sleek legs tapered off into high, very high, platform heels.

The blonde Dora was dressed in bright crimson seductress Red, yes red with a capital R. The silk flowed around her body hinting at everything yet showing nothing even as the top of the dress showed an incredible expanse of creamy chest, arms, back and legs. Red heels tapped off the ensemble and simple diamond earrings were her only other adornment.

The raven haired Tara was dressed in a deep green that was in the same cut and fabric as Dora's and whereas Dora had on Red heels, again with the capital R, Tara had on a pair of black CFM's.

Both girls strutted into the room and snagged Xander's left and right arms while planting a kiss on both sides of his cheeks.

Both girls laughed when Xander's and Alec's jaws both seemed to drop open at the sight; a sight that got even better as the laughing did amazing things to the two girls chests.

Tara leaned over and gave Alec a kiss on the cheek and used a finger to close his mouth by lifting the green man's jaw, and Dora did the same thing to Xander.

"Sorry Alec, but we're here to kidnap Xander for abandoning him last night. He's taking us out dancing." Dora stated, leaning up and closing Xander's mouth before kissing him.

When Dora came up for air Xander had a goofy grin on his face, and didn't realize that he was suddenly wearing bright red lipstick. With that, the two girls dragged the stunned Xander out of the room and waved goodbye to Alec.

Alec watched the girls leave before shaking his head, "I've got to get myself a girlfriend." He stated, before turning back to work on the plants in the lab.

Xander stumbled out into the hall before he seemed to wake out of his stupor and stopped, nearly throwing the girls off balance at his sudden stop.

"Dinner!" Xander stated worriedly.

Both girls looked at him and Tara replied a bit confused, "You can take us out for Dinner before we go dancing Xander."

Xander shook his head and looked down at the shorter Tara who came up to about his chin in her high heels, "No, you don't get it, I put dinner in the…" His statement was interrupted by a loud "BOOM!"

An insane gleam came to his eyes and Xander ducked out of the girls grasps with a yell of, "Turkey's done!"

Xander darted into a laboratory two doors down the hall.

By the time the girls walked into the room a bit befuddled at Xander's reaction, they saw him standing next to a large solid metal sphere with a two foot wide latched door next to it.

Xander twisted several latches to open the door in between bouts of mad cackling.

"Bwa ha ha ha." Xander chuckled before throwing open the door and waving away the wafts of smoke that issued out of the large metal sphere. Turning back to Tara and Dora, Xander explained excitedly, "So I figured cooking was just a matter of heat and pressure, so I figured I'd throw out the whole waiting thing and cook a turkey with explosives!"

Xander stuck his arm into the large sphere and seemed to fish around for a bit before he finally pulled his arm back with about a one inch shred of what looked like splattered meat of some sort.

Xander looked at the paste that used to be turkey that he was holding in his hand, and then back at the girls before he stuck his head inside the sphere.

Both girls looked at each other and shrugged before turning to gaze at Xander to figure out what their master was doing. Mumbled cursing could be heard to echo around inside the sphere before Xander pulled his head back out again.

Slamming the door to the explosion oven Xander turned quickly and gave an embarrassed smile to Dora and Tara, "Heh, um, yeah, so out to dinner we go." He finished as he quickly walked away from the failed experiment while wrapping an arm around the waists of each girl and leading them out of the room.

Through the corner of their eyes' both girls caught each other smiling at their master's antics while Xander was oblivious to the looks the girls were giving him.

Xander mumbled to himself, "Maybe next time I'll use nuclear explosives…"

With that he turned out the lights.

* * *

An eight thirty dinner in Paris followed by dancing in Moscow was the call for the night.

To say that the dance club Propaganda was the preeminent club in Moscow was a bit of an understatement. Propaganda was the place to see and be seen on a Friday night, and swanky and dressed to the nines was the name of the game if you even hoped to have a chance to get in. Not only did the dance club's line of people wanting to get in wrap the block, but hordes of security guards monitored the wannabe patrons for everything from dress code to literally whether or not they were beautiful or handsome enough to enter the club. There were new rich mafia gangsters, young bankers, ex-KGB and more model quality girls than any other place in Moscow at that time of night, all lined up trying to get into Propaganda.

Xander on the other hand didn't need no stinking line. Sure there was a line, but there was also a VIP queue cordoned off by red velvet ropes that let the super rich and elite bypass any measly line. This was Xander's entrance as he pulled up right in front of the doors in a smoking hot black and yellow Lotus sports car. Hopping out of the sleek little two door racer, Xander left his door open and scooted around to the passanger side of the car where he opened the door and helped Dora off of Tara's lap before lending a hand in turn for Tara to get out of the car; both of them showing a dangerous amount of leg in their short dresses and in the low to the ground sports car. Xander smirked at the looks of envy and lust that were shot at him and his girls, and he mentally noted that it was nice to be part of the 'in crowd' for the night; that and the promise that club Propaganda would blow the Sunnydale Bronze out of the water if there was ever a competition between the two dance clubs.

Taking a girl on each arm, Xander imperiously led the girls towards the front door, not even slowing to stop for the bouncers as he pulled a bound package of hundred dollar bills out of his tailored black suit and tossed it to the large main bouncer with the clipboard manning the door.

Whether it was how incredibly hot of a trio Xander and the girls were, the 10,000 dollars American that Xander tossed to the head bodyguard, or the fact that Xander's car was a two seater that somehow closed its own doors and drove off before the valet could get into it, well Xander and his girls didn't have problems walking past the stunned crowd and bouncers and into the confines of the club.

Dora, Tara and Xander waltzed past the line and into the Moscow dance club Propaganda as the music's beat seemed to hit them like a solid wave. The beat was pumping and the lights were flashing as the dance floor was a nonstop light show while shadowy booths and tables took up the edges of the club. Xander couldn't help but smirk and then laugh to himself as the DJ for the night, DJ Smash, was playing a song about snack food and hot girls while two gogo dancers on stage seductively deep throated Twinkies.

Xander took it as an omen from the Hostess gods that he was supposed to be here, and smiled as both Tara and Dora squealed in delight and pulled Xander down to the dance floor.

Now don't get it wrong, in Xander's mind the snoopy dance was just as important a form of interpretive dance as any ballet, tap, tango, or limbada. However each form of dance had its time and place, and when you are a six foot plus tall, dark, and handsome man in what appears to be a five thousand dollar suit and unbuttoned silk shirt, with two earth bound goddesses dancing up on you, well the snoopy dance was not the proper form of expression.

Xander Heterodyne had been taught to dance from a young age as was proper for the heir of the rulers of Europe in the Girl Genius Universe. The influence of those memories was Xander's to call upon. The Primal spirit was the epitome of grace and power, the top alpha predator among nature spirits, and his movements were the type that called to potential mates that here was the being who you wanted to have babies with. Add all of this together with Xander's new knowledge of martial arts from Cassandra, and Xander could dance. Not only could he dance, but he was the best dancer on the floor.

Xander flowed with the girls, appearing as if his body was caressing up against theirs as he brought his right hand up to pull Dora close to his front while his left arm wrapped around Tara behind him. The beat pounded and called to that ancient instinctual part of Xander's soul and psyche and caused him to move like some great cat: a panther or a lion in the midst of a hunt, and the girls were his prey. Xander moved fluidly as his tailored suit hinted at the sculpted muscles underneath and seemed to bend and sway with his body as he let his instincts take over and just moved to the beat. The driving Thud Thud Thud, of the beat mirrored the rhythm that was as ancient as mankind, when man and woman first danced around the fire in the dark of the night and later danced together in their fur bedding.

It was magnetic, and Xander seemed to exude waves of power as he just let himself go, not realizing that as he danced with and kissed his girls, molded his body with theirs seamlessly, that almost all of the eyes in the club were on him.

Women and men wanted to be with him, wanted to be him, wanted to be Tara or Dora, and all the while the music changed and the songs mixed together as Xander just relaxed and enjoyed the beat and the peace that comes from just dancing and letting your body move to the rhythm.

Fifteen minutes, thirty minutes, forty five minutes and even an hour later, Xander and his girls danced nonstop, the sweat glistening down the necks and sparkling off of the exposed breasts of Tara and Dora; though Xander hadn't even broken a sweat yet due to his unnatural countenance.

The whole club was focused on the trio as they continued to dance, and they would have continued to keep on dancing if the DJ wouldn't have made a mistake and miss hit the beat, breaking the mood.

The jarring timing mishap in the thudding beat brought Xander's awareness back to the present, and he looked out over the top of Dora's head to look into the shadows around the outskirts of the club. What he saw there brought up a hint of warning, for his ability to see in the dark better than normal humans allowed Xander to see that not all of the attention being focused on Xander's dancing partners looked wholesome.

Through the corners of his eyes and as he nonchalantly continued to dance and turn towards Tara, Xander saw that groups of men that just screamed "Criminal!" were focused solely on Xander's girls.

'_Looks like it would be best if we went home, no need to cause any problems with the locals.' _Xander thought to himself and gracefully wrapped his arms around both girls before planting a kiss on each of their lips while starting to draw them off the dance floor.

Coming up for air from his second kiss, Xander questioned, "Dora, Tara, is it alright if we leave, I'd like to go home for some fun time?" Xander finished with a ridiculous double raising of his eyebrows, kind of the nudge nudge hint hint, ya know what I mean type of silly action that was so Xander.

Both girls smiled up at Xander as they continued to pant and catch their breath from the mix of dancing and kissing that had been going on for over an hour. Dora looked at Tara, and then back at Xander before suggesting, "We'd like to go to the ladies room to freshen up, if that's alright?"

Xander bit the inside of his cheek in thought as he looked around at the club. Sure there were a lot of wealthy young and old men here perving on the girls and looking like Mafia wannabees, but there were also a lot of bouncers.

Deciding that it would probably be ok, Xander shrugged and said with a smile, "Sure, but hurry back, I'll miss you."

Both girls smiled up at Xander and kissed him on the cheeks before walking hand in hand around the outside of the dance floor and towards a hallway that looked to lead towards restrooms.

Really not one to drink, Xander merely stood on the outskirts of the dance floor for a moment, but was only able to stand still for a moment before several beautiful Russian girls walked over to Xander and started trying to pull him back onto the dance floor with them.

Xander smiled and tried to wave them off, but they were insistent, rubbing up against him and pulling on his silk shirt and suit coat to pull him chuckling onto the dance floor where he was immediately made the center of the bevy of Slavic hotties.

Xander danced, smiled and chuckled as the girls all seemed to be vying for his attention, almost competing with each other who could rub up against or caress him the most, and Xander wasn't minding it one bit.

Getting lost in the beat again, Xander enjoyed his dancing, even if these girls couldn't move as seamlessly with him as his two minion lovers could.

"Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!" An alarm sounded in Xander's head as Xander's nano-clanks sent Xander a warning.

Startled, Xander stopped dancing suddenly and totally ignored the girls who continued to try and dance up on him.

'_Query the alarm.'_ Xander commanded mentally and was instantly given a status report.

'_Sir, the nano-clanks of Dora and Tara are showing a great deal of stress and have initiated healing for several superficial wounds."_

Xander went from happy-go-lucky seductive dancer to pissed off Alpha Primal in less than a heart's beat.

'_Fuck, initiate tracking and guide me to them, activate helmet armor in stealth mode.'_ Xander mentally commanded as he rudely pushed the girls away and stepped through the dancers on the floor like some angry god of old, about to get biblical on somebody's ass for hurting his girls.

A brief shimmer was all the tell tale sign that Xander's nano-clank clothing had gone into armor mode as it merged over his head but remained in predator mode; and since it was only showing an image of Xander's own head none of the crowd new the difference as eyes tracked him pushing through the crowd like a bulldozer.

Messages and maps flashed up before him, projected onto Xander's eyes as his user interface became active and showed him a satellite zoom in of the building in the corner of his eye while a white line was super imposed over his vision to show Xander the way towards his girls. A second later the satellite image went to thermal imaging and Xander instantly read that Tara and Dora were somewhere on the opposite side of the building, and they were definitely not alone.

Xander pushed his way out of the main portion of the club and into the hallway that led to the bathrooms, a quick right turn at an intersection showed him the men's bathroom on the left and the women's on the right. At the end of the hall, and where the light was directing Xander, were two large bouncers standing before a solid looking red steel door.

Xander stomped straight for the two bouncers, not slowing or even speeding up as one of the information tickers streaming along the bottom of his visual screen showed that the girls injuries were only superficial, but that their endorphin and adrenalin levels were rapidly increasing as time went on.

Both bouncers were intimidating figures with tight black shirts over black fatigues pants with bulging muscles underneath, and they stepped in between Xander and the steel door as one raised a hand to stop Xander's progress.

The guard warned Xander in Russian, "/No guests are allowed in the…/"

Xander cut off the guard's words with a straight spear jab of his fingers right into the trachea of the bouncer, crushing the man's esophagus and causing the man to cut off mid sentence in a silent gasp of pain as both of the bouncers hands then went to grab at the man's ruined throat. However the choking bouncer didn't get to worry about his throat for very long, as Xander's hands blurred to grab the heads of both bouncers and slammed them together with a wet sounding thunk.

Both bouncers dropped like puppets with their strings cut as Xander stepped over them without breaking stride and pulled back his right fist as he mentally activating his armor to go fully active.

Xander's full body black nano-armor covered his fist right before it impacted with the steel door and blasted it off its hinges.

The doorframe seemed to disintegrate with a "Boom!" as the steel door went flipping and flying through the air of the club's kitchen where it sliced through the hot gas stove and caused an immediate explosion that caught a chef and a dish washer on fire as the gas fire hit frying grease and ignited.

Xander ignored the screams of the burning men and the fleeing cocktail waitresses who were running screaming from the room as he tromped through the kitchen like some sort of terminator; crushing preparation tables in his path before grabbing a charging bouncer by the throat and throwing him through the wall that separated the kitchen from the main dance area.

Ignoring the screams that his computer systems were picking up as coming from the dance floor, Xander marched around a large dishwashing machine to come face first into a hail of bullets from a bouncer wielding an uzi.

"Thud thud thud thud thud…" The bullets impacted Xander's armor like so many droplets of rain on a calm pool of water, and Xander merely growled as the bouncers had just been upped from the category of 'inconvenience to move beyond' into a category of 'kill on sight.'

The snap hum of Xander's shoulder mounted plasma launcher was the only warning the sub-machinegun wielding bouncer had before a burst of superheated plasma zipped across the room and literally blew the man in half. The former bouncer's bodily fluids flash heated to gas and exploded in a pink shower filled with little bits of white bone and tissue, leaving a new coating or reddish paint on the walls as Xander again punched through another door that had been guarded.

Xander stepped into the room and immediately took in the details of several polished wood tables covered in stacked bundles of cash and drugs. Xander had arrived just as some Russian mob lieutenant, whom Xander instantly recognized from the high stakes poker table at Caesar's Palace Casino Las Vegas, backhanded Tara across the face while holding her by the hair with the other hand.

There was a smack of the backhand, and then the five body guards and the chief Russian Mafioso holding Tara all turned and stared in surprise at the black-armored behemoth that had just smashed into the room.

Xander's eyes immediately took in the facts of the scene, saw Tara get hit, saw her bleeding lip and saw Dora behind her on the ground sobbing with what looked like already blackening eyes, and then Xander's world tinged Red, blood blood red.

"YOU!" Xander screamed in rage while flicking his right hand towards Tara and Dora.

Black transporter portals sucked over Tara and Dora in the blink of an eye, disappearing them along with the now severed hand that had been holding Tara's hair, back to Xander's Castle for medical aid.

The gangster who had been had been holding Tara had about half a moment to look confused at the reference to "You," as if he should know who this black armored machine looking guy was, only half a moment before the pain of his severed wrist hit him and he started to scream as blood spurted from his stump.

The others in the room looked at the screaming gangster, then back at Xander and as one went for guns hidden in their coats. At the same time blades shot out of Xander's wrists and his armor immediately sported razor sharp blades and spikes in every form and shape of flesh rending perfection.

Now normally it's not good to bring a knife or a sword to a gunfight, but that supposed disparagement in weaponry really loses meaning when said blade wielder is able to move faster than a speeding bullet and is stronger than a locomotive. In short, Xander was the blender, and he had just flipped the switch to "Frappe."

The world was in slow motion as Xander disappeared from his standstill to appear next to the closest bodyguard in his way of getting to the chief thug, the other mafia goons were still in mid motion towards firing at Xander's last known location.

Xander dived into the first man's stomach headfirst and right above the belly button, claws leading the way with his fists together. At the moment Xander's claws met flesh they immediately punctured in and through the back of the man before Xander pulled his arms apart and sliced the man in half. However that wasn't good enough for Xander, oh no, these men would pay.

The blades that had just bisected the man's torso had left a six inch missing section, giving Xander a target to dive bodily through; flying literally superman style through the gap but shredding the top and bottom portions of the man as the spikes and blades protruding from Xander's body carved a gory swath through what remained of the man's chest and pelvis

Then Xander was already impacting the second man, even before the first could realize that he was already dead. Xander swung his body to a standing position right before impact with the second man, and with the incredible speed at which Xander's full mass hit the body of the thug, the man's torso, head, legs and arms simply ceased to exist.

One second there was a living breathing gun toting Russian hitman, the next Xander's body was bathed in a fine spray of organic matter as the bodyguard's body literally disintegrated from the force of Xander's armored body ramming into the gangster.

'_Now for the entrée of the evening.'_ Xander mentally growled as he finally reached his target; the man who had dared to hurt Xander's girls.

Xander's clawed hand was around the throat of his former poker opponent and had pinned the guy against the room's back wall before the mafia leader had a chance to blink.

It is debatable which would have been scarier to the thug, Xander's exposed face with eyes shining yellowish green while snarling, or the featureless solid black mask that mirrored the thug's choked off scream. Ultimately the somewhat mirrored black surface of the armor seemed to impart the proper mood that Xander wanted, as the somewhat light absorbing/somewhat reflective material twisted the gangster's mirror image into something similar to Edvard Munch's painting, "The Scream."

The gangster stared silently screaming in Xander's grasp, futilely pulling on Xander's choking hand while using the bleeding stump to thump unsuccessfully on the top of Xander's armored head.

Xander growled and pulled the gangster towards him before repeatedly plowing the Mafioso's head and body into the wall to punctuate his statement, "You! Don't! Hit! Girls!"

Xander used the man's body like a battering ram, smashing and cracking the cement load-bearing wall with the force of the blows as he punctuated every word in his statement by thrusting the man into the wall hard enough to rattle a closed door ten feet away. The final word of "Girls" was prefaced by Xander inserting the guy's head through the cement wall and leaving the body dangling three feet off the floor, held up only by the visible neck with the head pierced through the wall.

In the time that Xander had killed the two bodyguards and taught their lieutenant a polite lesson in ethics and chivalry, the remaining three thugs had realized that their bullets were merely absorbed or reflected off of Xander's armored back and had decided that retreat was the better part of valor. They turned and ran for the open door where Xander had entered the room.

Xander turned on the fleeing thugs to give chase, only to get distracted as the door ten feet from the dangling body was thrown open by an elegantly dressed and silver haired older man.

"/Where the Fuck are those whores I sent you to get? /" The man yelled in Russian as he opened the door, only to look around the room startled for a second as he took in the destruction and death before looking at Xander's blade covered form.

"/SHIT!/" The man yelled as he dodged back the way he had just come while slamming the door behind him.

Xander growled and decided to ignore the fleeing bodyguards; he had bigger fish to fry.

Xander covered the distance to the closed door in three large steps, and went to push the door open with his arm, only for the door to open on its own.

Xander looked up into a red metal helmet with a glowing gold visor and the words CCCP written across the forehead while the metal clad form standing in the doorway was silver colored with a large red star and the number 04 on the chest.

That's what Xander saw, right before a large red painted armored fist connected with his head and Xander went flying.

Xander went flying head first and backwards across the room, crashing right through the table holding the drugs and money and causing a large "POOF!" of white powder and flying currency before smashing through the opposite wall of the room and crushing the club's security center that was in the room on the other side.

Xander shook his head and stood up from the smoking sparking security consol that he had landed on. All of the screens were shattered and the backup tapes were clearly melted in their tape drives.

'_At least I won't have to worry about images of my face and actions getting out.'_ Xander thought as he looked through the hole that he had just made in the wall.

Xander looked through the hole in the wall just as he saw what appeared to be one of the Soviet Union's Rocket Red armored suits point both fists at Xander and launch a torrent of fire through the hole.

There was a literal "KAWOOSH!" sound as the fire immolated the security center in a wash of white hot fire.

"/Heh, eat that Bitch./" The guy in the Rocket Red armor chuckled and started to turn away, only to get broadsided by a flame covered Xander.

"/Bite me ya tin can./" Xander snapped back as he sent the Rocket Red somersaulting backwards through the air to crunch through the doorway where the assumed Mafia boss had fled.

'_Deactivate firewall program.'_ Xander mentally commanded his armor, causing the flames that were pouring off of his armor to stop.

Xander quickly flew after the spiraling Rocket Red into an expensive looking office space with dark hard wood on the walls and bookshelves, with a large desk in the back corner. One of the bookcases was pushed back into the wall, revealing the opening of a secret escape route.

Xander had entered the room just in time to see the Rocket Red armored unit ignite the rocket engines in his boots before righting itself and charging back at Xander.

Both Xander and Rocket Red charged through the air at each other before colliding fists first with an incredible "BOOM!" that shattered all of the glass on the pictures and paintings on the office's walls.

Xander and the Rocket Red were left hovering in the room, grappling with each other.

Xander could make out the face of a sneering face with a military buzz cut behind the helmet of the Rocket Red, and both Xander and the man grunted in effort as the Rocket Red's armor gave the man super strength near to, but not completely equal with, Xander's abilities.

Xander slowly pushed the Rocket Red suit back towards the wall with the opening amongst the bookshelves. "/I, *grunt*, thought, *grunt* the Rocket Red's were part of the good guys. *grunt* Why are you protecting that scum bucket?/" Xander grunted out a question in Russian as he inexorably pushed the rocket propelled Soviet era and alien technology inspired armored suit backwards.

The man behind the armor smiled a toothy evil smile at Xander through the Rocket Red helmet visor, "/It is amazing, *grunt* what you can buy in mother Russia now that communism has collapsed./" The man jeered even as sweat trickled down the man's face due to his effort at holding Xander back.

Xander's eyes grew large and then he glared at the man in the powered suit and Xander growled out in Russian, "/You know you're not going to be able to stop me./" It was a statement, not a question.

The smile on the face of the man in the Rocket Red armor only got larger. "/I know, but I only need to delay you long enough for Viktor to escape out the back. Besides, with this invulnerable armor on, you can't touch me./" The man finished, smiling in victory at delaying Xander even longer.

Xander's blood boiled, and the Primal spirit in Xander raged for the blood of the man who had ordered that Xander's girls be hurt or possibly worse.

'_Oh No You Don't!'_ Xander mentally raged before sending an order to his nano-clanks, '_Initiate armor power assist.'_ He commanded, and all through his armor and in the muscles and tendons throughout his body, the nano-clanks came alive and started talking with each other. The power assist program was taxing on Xander's body as each individual muscle would communicate with the overlying armor and hand over muscle control to the nano-clanks, effectively boosting Xander's strength at the expense of fluidity of motion.

At that moment, however, strength was really all Xander needed.

"/Eat Physics Bitch./" Xander growled in Russian and pulled the Rocket Red armored suit towards Xander's body by a foot before Xander quickly extended his arms out to their full reach.

Back and forth Xander quickly accelerated his arms, shaking of the man repeatedly in the space of about a foot for though the armored suit protected the exterior of the man, Xander was pretty sure that the man's brain would have to follow Newton's First Law of Motion.

True to form, every bouncing brain in a state of uniform motion does tend to remain in that state of motion until Xander's external force was applied to it. Like a pinball stuck between two bumpers in an arcade machine, Xander treated the Rocket Red's brain like the martinis he used to make for his mother back in Sunnydale; she liked them shaken, not stirred.

Xander's arms and the body of the Rocket Red were a shaking blur, and after two seconds Xander was witness to the man's eyes liquefying as a slush of grey matter and blood painted the inside of the helmet of the Soviet armor.

The jet boots shut down with the brain death of the man in the Rocket Red armor and Xander dropped the limp corpse before blurring out the escape route, hoping that he wasn't too late to catch this 'Viktor' who made the mistake of targeting Xander's girls.

* * *

The tunnel that led out of the office and exited via a hole in the brick wall behind club Propaganda; a trash dumpster had hinged aside to allow an opening into the alleyway.

Xander darted out of the hole and looked left down the dark brick lined alley and frowned, not seeing anything.

Xander then turned to the right, and smiled an evil smile at what he saw.

Dangling six feet off the ground was the elusive Viktor, held tightly around his chest by the twelve foot tall transformer robot, aka Bumblebee, aka Xander's Lotus.

Xander walked calmly down the alley towards the struggling man who was cursing a blue streak in both Russian and English. A gun lay dropped on the ground under the dangling man who was swinging and punching ineffectively at the large metal hand that held him securely.

The robot turned to look at Xander with its two glowing blue eyes and announced in the voice of a radio announcer, "Today in the news, robot catches felon, more at ten."

Xander smirked evilly and started humming to himself as he waltzed up towards the robot and mafia figure.

"Good job Bumblebee." Xander stated before addressing the Russian mafia boss with an evil lilt to his voice, "Now what should I do with the man who would try to attack my girls? Flay you alive? Slice off bits of you and leave you for rat food here in the alley?"

The man struggled to turn around in the immovable grasp of Bumblebee. Growling and spitting over his shoulder at the black armored figure that had torn up his dance club, the Mafia Don cursed in slightly Russian accented English, "Fuck you! Do you know who I am? Do you know who the fuck you're messing with?"

Xander quirked his head to the side and answered happily, "No, but I'm sure you're about to tell me."

"Fuck you punk, I'm Viktor Mikalek. I'm the Oligarch of Moscow! The Boss of Bosses in the Russian Mob, and I own this town lock stock and barrel. I'll destroy you, I'll kill you, I'll…!"

Viktor's statement was cut off as Bumblebee let go of the Mafia leader, dropping him to where Xander's hand blurred up and snatched the man out of the air by the neck before the man could touch the ground.

Xander pulled the man close, choking out the man's rant and putting them nose to helmet.

Xander growled, his eyes glowing behind his helmet, "I don't care if you are Joseph Stalin reborn and angels come down from heaven to wipe your ass for you! You messed with my girls, now you die!"

Xander brought back his clawed fist to behead the man, only to pause as the man gasped out, "Wait, you kill me and millions die!" The man begged, eyes still haughty but now with a bit of fear in them.

Xander paused with his hand held up to strike. "Talk… Quickly…" Xander said through grinding teeth while still choking the man.

Between gasps for air Viktor Mikalek explained with an evil smirk on his face, "I feed this city, I heat this city, I see that there are police, schools, hospitals, and basic services as well as controlling what goes in and out of Moscow and one third of the Russia. *GASP* Kill me, and millions starve and die in the chaos."

Xander stared at Viktor, the urges to kill the man and the need to protect innocents warring inside of Xander's mind as Xander almost visibly shook due to the battle being warred in his mind.

Finally Xander roared in anger and brought his fist smashing into Viktor's skull.

Only as Xander fist rushed towards Viktor's now fearful face, Xander's claws blades and spikes retracted from his armor, leaving a single needle to protrude from between Xander's knuckles and sink into Viktor's skull and brain.

Viktor screamed in agony as Xander brutally ripped the memories from Viktor's mind, not destroying the man's mind but in no way being gentle.

It was all there, the food shipments were all controlled by Viktor, even the distributorships. The reason the police hadn't shown up yet at the club was because the police were all paid off by Viktor, that and the chief of Moscow's state police was one of Viktor's lieutenants. Viktor had his fingers in everything: fuel oil, energy and telephone companies, potato farming, legal alcohol and moonshine, drugs and prostitution and even guns for hire. Corrupt and honest, blatant and hidden, Viktor Mikalek had used his contacts as a former KGB chief to pick up and control the pieces right as the Soviet Union was falling apart; and it had made him a very wealthy man. Not only wealthy, but needed. Xander read through the memories of the man and knew that if Viktor died, Russia would be in chaos and innocents would suffer and die.

"DAH!" Xander spat in anger as he ripped his needle from Viktor's head, the nano-clanks healing the wound in Viktor's skull.

Viktor's world twisted and spun in pain, and through his pain he heard the armored behemoth curse, "Fine bastard, you're going to live, but from this day forth your mine!"

Viktor's last memory was of a wave of inky black night opening up and swallowing him whole.

* * *

The sounds of beeping machines and clinking glassware distantly filtered into Viktor Mikalek's mind, bringing him swimming back to consciousness.

Opening his eyes, Viktor realized that he wasn't able to move his head or any of his body, feeling tight constricting metal bands securely holding him down. His eyes moved frantically from side to side, taking in some sort of laboratory with decanters, Bunsen burners and bubbling swirling tubes of chemicals and wires flowing across the opposite wall. A large glass vat of about four feet tall swirled with a mix of black and green swirling goop that seemed to move and writhe on its own while a tray of surgical tools and syringes sat on a sterile medical tray with a white cloth underneath the shiny tools.

Before Viktor could open his mouth to call out or ask where he was, a familiar black portal opened up and the towering black armored being seemed to step out of the shadowy doorway while dragging a dark haired tan woman of Arabic descent by the throat.

The woman cursed and struck at the armored figure without effect, and it was clear that the woman hadn't planned on going anywhere that night as she was wearing a long cream colored silk nighty. Out of the corner of Viktor's eyes he saw a metal table seem to grow and bubble out of the floor solid metal floor like some silver metallic magma.

The armored being thrust the struggling woman against the table and liquid metal grew out of the table to restrain her arms, legs, and torso while also pinning her head into a forward looking position.

The armored figure stepped back into clear view of both tables and waved his hand at them in greeting.

"Hello and welcome to my laboratory. Now that the two of you are all cozy." Xander started to say before he was interrupted by a string of curse words from the woman, a blue streak that even made his face blush a bit with the anatomical impossibility of some of the woman's statements.

Xander waved his arm at the woman and the liquid metal of the table grew up to flow into her open mouth and seize control of her tongue. This finally caught her attention as she struggled not to gag due to the metal that had formed around the inside and outside of her lower jaw and froze her mouth in an open position.

Xander smiled underneath his helmet, "There now, that wasn't very lady like. I was trying to introduce myself." He said with a short jaunty mocking bow.

"Congratulations and welcome, you both have something in common with each other. One, You both have threatened my life, and two, your lives as you knew them are now over." Xander started, and Viktor started to object, only for his table to grow up and seize his lower jaw as well.

"Tut tut, enough interruptions. As I was saying, allow me to introduce myself. I am known as Xander Harris." Xander said, and he saw the eyes of the woman grow large before she growled around her gag, "But you probably know me best as The Leviathan." With this, Xander's armor rippled until he was left with the shiny black helmet, black suit, black gloves, and blood red tie that the world had grown familiar with recently.

At this both of Xander's prisoner's eyes got large in fear and Queen Bee lost control of her bladder.

Xander ignored their reactions and started to pace back and forth before his prisoners, "Yes yes, I bet you're sorry now. Oh by the way, Viktor Mikalek, Oligarch of Moscow and boss in the Russian Mafia, meet the Queen Bee, Dictator of Bialya. Queen Bee, meet Viktor."

Both the Queen Bee and Viktor briefly allowed their eyes to look to the side at each other before immediately going back to following the back and forth pace of The Leviathan.

"Bob, please have Igor come down to the lab with Tara and Dora." Xander commanded to the Castle's AI before continuing to address the Queen Bee and Viktor.

"Now as I was saying, you both have made a big mistake in threatening my life, and the only reason you're not already dead is because for one reason or another if I killed you then many innocents would suffer. Thus I'm going to release you." Xander stated with a wave of his hand and looked to the side at the two of them for a moment while he continued to pace back and forth in thought in front of them.

Both the Queen Bee and Viktor looked startled at the idea that not only were they not going to die, but that they were going to be released. It sounded too good to be true.

Xander continued to pace, scientific calculations of biology, chemistry and nano-technology bouncing through his head as he worked out the necessary mix to make his new plan come true. Though the debate in Xander's head was ruckus and loud, the enforced silence of his 'guests' left the room almost silent besides the sounds of bubbling swirling fluids and of Xander's pacing.

Finally, Xander's silent pacing was interrupted by the door to the lab opening.

In walked Tara and Dora looking healed, showered and wearing fluffy comfortable robes and bare feet along with the normal stoic faced Igor. Upon seeing Xander standing there, both Tara and Dora ran to him and were embraced lovingly by Xander.

Soft whispers were held amongst the three as Xander allowed his still somewhat raging instincts to quiet as he held his girls close and at the same time comforted the cute duo from their earlier situation.

Letting go of his hug, Xander stepped out in front of Tara and Dora and gestured towards Viktor, "Ladies, this is the gentleman who ordered your capture." Xander said with a bit of an evil smirk underneath his helmet. "Why don't you let him know how much you enjoyed the actions of his underlings." Xander finished with a voice that made the hairs on the back of the Queen Bee and Viktor stand on end.

Dora turned and glared at Viktor before walking over to him, reared back her fist, and then popped him right in the nose.

Viktor's eyes immediately watered and a groan escaped his throat as blood started to trickle down his face. Then it was Tara's turn.

Not one to be out done, but having her own opinions on how she should let her feelings be known, Tara walked up to Viktor, pulled her foot back, and then planted the ball of her foot right into Viktor's balls.

Viktor screamed in agony, well as much of a scream as one can do when they can't move their tongue or lower jaw and they are sporting a broken nose; Viktor's eyes crossed as the he began to cry due to the pain.

Both girls looked smug as they moved to stand behind Xander and glare at the whimpering man.

Xander turned to glare at the Queen Bee and quipped, "Be thankful that you only threatened my life, because if you had gone after one of the people I cared for you would be suffering similar pain at this moment."

The Queen Bee's throat visibly gulped.

Xander stood there silently for a moment, looking back and forth between his two guests before smirking and clapping his hands together before rubbing them back and forth in glee.

"Well then, let us get this night's endeavors finished, shall we?" Xander asked rhetorically, as if Queen Bee and Viktor had a choice.

Turning around towards the churning glass vat, Xander pulled down a beaker with a red bubbling fluid in it and poured it into the vat. The substance in the vat immediately turned from a mix of green and metallic colors to dark black, a black that matched the color of Xander's armor and the Leviathan's helmet.

Pulling out two empty glass decanters, Xander dipped one after the other into the fluid and pulled out a healthy portion of the black goopy moving stuff.

Turning back around, Xander walked towards the medical instrument table with the syringes before picking up two of the empty needled devices; both syringes looking like they were built for taking blood from horses rather than humans. However rather than use the syringes on Viktor, Queen Bee or the glass beakers, Xander turned and addressed his minions.

"Igor, your arm." Xander stated, and without hesitation the chief minion pulled up his sleeve and presented Xander with a vein. Xander, through his knowledge of medical science, drew a perfect sample of blood from Igor's arm before placing a gloved finger on Igor's needle mark. Upon removing Xander's finger, Igor's needle mark was gone.

Then turning towards his girls, Xander waved for Dora to approach, and she in turn pulled up the sleeve of her white fluffy robe and Xander again drew blood with a second clean syringe before also healing her wound.

Turning towards the teaming moving beakers of goop, Xander injected the contents of one syringe into one beaker, before following suit with the second syringe and second beaker.

Giving the beakers a swirl and holding them up to the light, they briefly flashed green before going back to their black color. Xander smiled evilly before filling the two syringes up with the mixture, each syringe from a different beaker.

Flicking both large syringes to bleed out the air, Xander turned and lowered his head a bit as he gave a toothy evil smile at the two prisoners from behind his helmet. "Bwa ha ha ha, um, sorry, but now comes the time where you pay the penalty for threatening me and mine. Consider yourself my new Adam and Eve in fighting crime and tyranny." Xander said.

With that, Xander stepped forward between the two medical tables and reached out simultaneously to jab the two syringes into the necks of both the Queen Bee and Viktor Mikalek.

Hot fire burned through the two individuals as Xander pressed in the plungers and the fluid hit their veins and was immediately pumped to their brains and to their hearts where it was circulated through their bodies. Both restrained individuals on their medical tables shook and made gagged moans of pain while Xander and his minions just stood by and smiled evilly at the pain inflicted on their soon to be former enemies.

Stepping back, Xander put an arm around both of his girls while they enjoyed the sight; Igor just giving a bloodthirsty grin at watching his Master's work.

For ten minutes they watched the gory show in silence, enjoying the sounds of agony of those who had dared to attack them.

Finally at the ten minute mark, as if a switch had been flipped on a machine, the seizures stopped and the eyes of both the Queen Bee and Viktor stared at Xander contentedly and without pain.

Xander smirked before waving at both tables with a mental command.

The restraints on the tables retracted, and both Viktor and the Queen Bee fell to their knees bowing before The Leviathan. In tandem they questioned, "How may we serve you Master?"

Xander reared his head back in laughter, and Dora, Tara and Igor joined in, "BWA HA HA HA HA! WA HA HA HA HA! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Finally Xander stopped laughing, his minions also stopping immediately, and then he gestured with both of his hands in an upwards direction, "Rise my minions. Let us talk about my rewriting your DNA to be my loyal minions, and how you will use your new retro-virus to bring the criminal and dictatorial worlds to their knees." Xander said with an evil smile.

The evil smile was mirrored back to him by his three original minions, and his two new loyal minions.

* * *

**AN: Wow, like I said, long chapter and a ton got done in this chapter. If you think this was a filler chapter, then my friend you really need to reread in order to understand the deeper significance of the things happening here. Boy oh boy, I really enjoyed getting this out there and I can't wait to write the next couple of chapters. Sorry about the wait, but frankly I hadn't been feeling like writing for a while there and I hadn't received many ideas, messages or reviews to help inspire me to think up the missing parts for this long chapter. Thanks go to all those who reviewed with ideas or sent me emails or private messages with suggestions and factoids to add to my story. Special thanks go Hasty, Tippy, DamnUnicorn, Lucifael, Eewec, Tenhawk and to all of the readers and authors who helped me via the online chat on Lucifael's website, all are welcome to join us over there as many authors use that site for ideas and to talk to readers. As always special thanks go out to my Beta who catches the parts where I repeated descriptive words or when I have too much fun with semicolons and commas. Anyway, did you like the chapter? Are you looking forward to more? Was it too long? Please let me know via a review or message.**

**Poll: Long chapters(15k+ words) or shorter chapters (8-14k words), which do you prefer when you read an update? Please let me know if the length of these chapters make them hard to read or if you prefer these long sections to read when you get an update. Cheers!**


	31. Chapter 31: A Mix of Good and Bad Luck

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: I want to thank people for the very high quality reviews and messages regarding ideas, though I'm amazed at the drop off in responses per chapter; less than half of what I received two chapters ago when I was thinking of pulling the plug on this story. Shrug* Oh well, though I won't be using all of them, or even any of them exactly like you suggested, I will be pulling lots of bits and pieces from your reviews and messages as inspiration for coming chapters. On a related issue related to the poll, I think I'm going to keep my chapters on average of 10k+ and just get them out when they are done, which should be about one a week if the response stays positive and the ideas keep flowing. That said, I hope you enjoy this next chapter but I need to give a bit of a warning. In this chapter Xander falls afoul of cultural norms and religions that he is unfamiliar with. I do not in any way imply to slander any religion, nor do I want religion to even be a real topic in this story. Rather the religions and cultural references in this chapter are merely props used for purposes of furthering interactions and story progression. Nothing more, nothing less. Please take it with that in mind and don't flame me if you feel insulted. Besides, flaming me only gets you banned while my minions track you down to your house to pick up your live organ donations. Anyway, hope you enjoy the fun and frivolity of this chapter, please let me know what you think as reviews and feedback is what inspires me to write and update with larger chapters, and to do so quickly. Cheers!**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 31: A Mix of Good and Bad Luck**

"It is bad luck to fall out of a thirteenth story window on a Friday."

~American Proverb

Currently, Xander was running and dodging through the streets of New Deli, keeping several steps ahead of the teeming mob of just slightly angry people; and by slightly angry it means that their anger had cooled to the point where they only wanted to castrate him and stick Xander's head on a pike.

'_I thought these people were supposed to be Vegetarians who respected all forms of life!'_ Xander screamed frantically in his head as he dodged a flying skewer of chicken tikka that nearly turned him into a Xander kabob.

Xander launched himself up and over a little scooter by doing a one handed cartwheel over the charging driver, launching himself into a spin that carried Xander over another wave of what Xander figured was a never ending supply of angry New Deli Hindi's.

Xander spun through the air like a whirling dervish before landing in a crouch and started dodging through the tightly packed streets again. Every now and then somebody would scream something in Xander's direction in one of the local dialects, and the crowds around Xander would all turn towards him and charge with murder in their eyes. If it wasn't for the fact that Xander really didn't want to show off his powers and have word get back to Ra's al Ghul of where he was at the moment, then Xander would have tried to use his powers to escape. Well, that and the fact that it's really hard to run at super speed when the streets are literally packed shoulder to shoulder, and the streets are covered with so many overhanging roofs, wires, and clothes' lines that it made it impossible for Xander to fly without engaging his armor; again something that would give his identity away.

Instead Xander relied on the training gained from Cassy in order to dodge, weave and block all attempts to attack him while he sprinted through the streets in the hopes of finding a place where he could privately activate his chameleon system and disappear.

Xander rounded a corner and thought he was safe to take a breather for a second to try and figure out a way out of the situation.

Though he was pausing to look around, Xander's sense of self preservation was still in high gear. Thus Xander fortunately sensed the leaping forms heading for his back with enough time to duck as two human figures dove through where Xander had just been standing, both attackers missing Xander and flying face first into a curry stand.

Xander ignored the screams of the old woman and man as they had just landed in a large red colored dusty bin that was labeled in English, "Mother-in-law's revenge, Red Curry." Xander assumed it was spicy, based on the reactions of the two screaming people.

The smell of the curry had him feeling a bit hungry, but Xander decided it was probably best if he was hungry to find another part of India to enjoy the cuisine in, preferably many, many miles away as the screams of the two individuals attracted the mob that had been tracking him through the city for the last couple hours.

Xander's eyes got large and he sprinted around a corner only to be confronted by a solid mass of humanity that were apparently lined up to leave sacrifices at a shrine or temple ahead of them.

Xander looked behind him, then at the solid wall of humans, then back at the on rushing Mob who were once again screaming for his blood.

Xander turned towards the onrushing mob and raised his hands above his head like he was surrendering, "Can't we all just get along?" He yelled.

The Mob continued to surge towards him with murder in their eyes.

Xander shrugged to himself, _'Fine, be that way.' _ He thought quickly as he looked for a way out of his particular predicament, only to find two solid walls on both sides of him and no were to escape to, turning to look at the crowd blocking the way.

'_Fuck it, street level isn't working, have to get higher!'_ Xander thought as he leapt off the ground only to land on the shoulders of a man who was part of the masses standing in front of him.

Dancing from head to head and shoulder to shoulder, Xander saw that the pursuing mob had impacted against the crowd that was waiting to leave gifts at the gates of the temple, but rather than stopping there, apparently the message about Xander was corrupting the crowd and Xander's 'footing' was quickly turning against him.

'_Fourteen million Indian Nationals in New Delhi, and they are all trying to kill me! How the hell did this happen to me?' _Xander asked himself while reviewing the situation again for the fifty second time, just as his footing gave out and he found himself no longer crowd surfing but falling to the ground in amongst the angry New Delhi citizens.

Xander flashed back to how his morning began, just as about a hundred people tried to dog pile him into the hard dirty street.

* * *

After giving Viktor and the Queen Bee their orders and discussing the nature of their new blood born gene altering retro-virus, Xander had returned them to their bases of operation where the Queen Bee went back to sleep, and Viktor set about ordering the repairs to his club. The virus that Xander had unleashed in them was very specific in its targeted capacity and effect. Just like the AIDS virus, the Minion retro-virus was transferred via sharing of bodily fluids. However whereas AIDS was deadly and was transferable to all humans via accident, the minion virus could only infect non-meta-humans and should hopefully only be transferred purposefully. To try and assure this, Xander had told his minion Queen Bee to use her blood born virus to secure her position in Bialya and then to invite other dictators and warlords to a 'specially' prepared meal to talk over alliances with Bialya. At the same time, Viktor would be securing his position in the Russian mafia and criminal enterprises before reaching to take over control of the rest of the human criminals that he had contacts with. If Xander's calculations were correct, then the virus should only transfer to those individuals who were corrupt or a threat to innocents and Xander's family. This was all the surety that Xander felt he needed. After all, Xander's calculations were almost always spot on, and it wasn't like the spread of some gene altering virus could really come back around to bite Xander in the rear end.

Xander meanwhile had once again embarked on his journey around the world and had decided to take a short cut and "cheat" rather than follow Elder Woman Magda's vision that Xander should run or fly to his end destination. Therefore, rather than running or flying from Moscow towards India, Xander decided to just transport himself to the north western boarder of India with a mental question of, _'What could it hurt?'_

Xander should have guessed that by skipping the journey to India wouldn't be that easy or without ramifications. Apparently both Murphy and Lady Luck's attention had been drawn to Xander's thought of '_What could it hurt_,' and decided to give him another training session regarding the results of such statements. Further, since Xander was in India, Karma decided to join in on the fun and games; and Karma was a bitch.

Everything had been going well when Xander sprinted into the outskirts of New Deli and started making his way through the packed streets. The teeming masses of humanity smashed together in an amalgamation of incredible poverty tugged on his heart strings, but he realized that just giving out money to the people swarming around him was not the answer. Everywhere Xander went in New Delhi, he was amazed at just how many people there were. The masses of people clogging the streets made running at super speed impossible, and taking to the air was hampered by the fact that he would give away just who he was; something that he decided that he didn't want to do given that he felt he had given Ra's al Ghul's people the slip.

"Nope, I'm just another western college aged kid tramping through Asia with a backpack." Xander mumbled to himself while threading his way down a packed street wearing a long sleeved white t-shirt and khaki pants. "I should blend right in." Xander finished to himself more as a way to convince himself that as a six foot plus tall white man in bright clothing, that no, he didn't stand out in the crowd of mocha and tanned skinned people that he towered over.

"Yeah right." Xander grumbled as he came to the end of the smaller market lined street and found himself on a major thoroughfare.

Now normally when somebody refers to something as a "thoroughfare" they think of a wide multilane road, filled with vehicles and with fast moving traffic.

The problem with the thoroughfare that Xander found himself confronted with was that it only had two out of the three things going for it as far as thoroughfares were concerned. Yes, it was a wide street with multiple lanes and filled with vehicles. In fact, it was very much filled with vehicles as the Indian nationals didn't believe in only one vehicle to a lane, in fact it seemed like cars, trucks and mopeds were so packed together that the road was one solid metal and human structure.

No, what this thoroughfare lacked was fast moving traffic.

It was eleven o'clock in the morning and it was shear gridlock on the street that Xander found himself on. Not a car was moving, not a truck was budging, and it was so bad that even the ever present little scooters that normally dodged in and out of traffic were all piled up not moving.

Stepping up onto some boxes that were on the side of the road, Xander was able to look towards the front of the traffic jam and saw that it seemed to originate at an intersection about a block up the street.

Shrugging to himself, Xander figured that he might as well take a look-see at what the problem was and see if he could help out in any way; such was his saving people thingy.

Threading his way around the outskirts of the crowded thoroughfare and picking his way around the boxes and street vendors lining the side of the street, Xander was finally able to make his way to the intersection where all the problems were happening.

What he saw amazed him, for though it was the middle of a busy populated city all four directions of traffic at the four way intersection were backed up because of two cows.

"Cows? Really? What, did some cowboy try to do a cattle drive and lose a few little doggies?" Xander asked out loud, looking around for an answer as he watched a police officer standing waving at the two cows happily chewing their cud in the middle of the road.

To the right people sat in their cars and trucks or on their scooters or bikes, all waiting for the cows to move. The same for the traffic on the opposite side of the street and in fact in all four directions coming into the intersection. The Indian nationals just all sat there, none of them doing anything to actually try and move the cows, and the police officer who was trying to get the cows to move looked to have no way of dragging them out of the way so that traffic could get going again.

Xander smiled to himself, "Hey, maybe I can help give the guy a hand?" He mumbled as he walked out into the middle of the street and towards the police officer with a big smile on his face.

The police officer stopped waving at the cows and turned to look at Xander with a frown.

"Can I help you move the cows?" Xander asked, pointing to the two fat white heifers that were blocking the road.

The dark skinned policeman shook his head and said something in Hindi that Xander didn't understand.

"Hmmm," Xander hummed before his eyebrows rose as he got an idea. Xander pointed to himself, and then the cows, and then towards the side of the road. "I help you." Xander pointed from himself to the police officer. "Move the cows. Yes?" Xander finished, pointing again at the cows and then at the corner where the cows would be out of the way.

The officer waved his hands in front of himself and pointed to the cows and then Xander while doing this sort of head shake nod thing that Xander didn't know how to interpret.

Xander looked from the cows, to the police officer and then shrugged and smiled, "Um, ok, I'll just take that as a yes."

Xander finished while walking up between the two cows and resting his hands on the sides of the cows.

At doing this, the people in the traffic started yelling at Xander, but Xander just smiled and waved as he appreciated the encouragement they were offering.

Taking a horn of each cow in hand, Xander gave a gentle tug, but neither cow even registered the motion.

The officer started waving his hands above his head and at the cows' bodies and started issuing commands in Hindi, but Xander had no idea what he was saying.

"You want me to lift up the cows?" Xander asked a bit confused before shrugging. So lost in the puzzle of moving the two cows that he didn't think about the fact that perhaps lifting two cows wasn't the best way to stay inconspicuous.

Xander bent over and crouched down while situating an arm under the belly of each cow, kind of wrapping them and pulling them snuggly towards his head so that they were sort of resting on his shoulders.

The 'encouraging' yells from the crowd were getting louder and louder, and the police officer was almost chanting some sort of encouraging statement about Xander and the cows.

Xander merely smiled and nodded as he tensed his muscles to lift.

And that is when Murphy figured he would add his two cents.

Xander started to push off slowly, just as a truck behind him loudly backfired, sounding like somebody was shooting at Xander.

Xander launched into a standing position and spun around in a blur to see where the supposed gunfire was coming from, only to feel the weight of both cows lighten and disappear off of his shoulders.

Now any rancher will tell you that cows are not built with easy access handles or any sort of real gripping point beyond the neck, the tail, or the horns; none of which Xander had been holding onto when lifting the cows.

Things seemed to slow down for Xander, as they always seemed to do when he was placed in a stressful situation.

Xander looked towards the crowds of drivers, and saw that rather than the encouragement he thought they had been yelling at him, the crowd of hundreds if not thousands of people around him all looked angry.

It was at this point that Xander realized that he no longer had two cows on his shoulder, so he looked upwards…

Only to see both cows spinning like helicopter blades as they disappeared into the sky with twin frightened bellows,

"MOOOOOoooooooooo!" Both cows cried as they disappeared out of sight spinning into the sky, which could be translated as either, "SHIIIIIIIIItttttttttt!", "Moommy!", or "Oh no Mr. Bill!"

A little voice in the back of Xander's head said, _'Psht, Houston, we have ignition. This is one small flight for two cows, one huge leap for bovine kind.'_

Xander wide eyed looked down at the crowds, and watched as they all stood staring open mouthed at the flying cows, before as one they all turned to look at Xander and growl.

Xander put on a chagrined looking smile and shrugged while holding his hands up in the international symbol for, "Oops. Sorry, my bad."

The Indian nationals decided not to accept Xander's apology and charged him screaming bloody murder.

They came from the left. They came from the right, from in front and back of Xander. So just before the mob dog piled him, Xander did the only thing he could do. He jumped into the air.

Xander popped into the air like a cork from a champagne bottle, just as the crowd of people clawing and diving at him crashed like a tidal wave beneath him in a loud THUD of flesh smashing into flesh.

Then it was Xander's turn to invent a new sport that his mental voices were calling, "Crazy Crowd-surfing." In order to perform said sport, one first needs a bloodthirsty crowd calling for your death after you launched their reincarnated ancestors into space without a space shuttle. Second, you need to be quick on your feet, as the game requires you to do a part snoopy dance, part crowd surfing, and part Olympic gymnastic routine to stay balancing on the heads and shoulders of the clawing screaming crowd. The forth part of the equation is luck, which in Xander's case he had in spades. Unfortunately it was a mix of good luck and bad luck, hence the situation he found himself in.

"Oops, sorry. Hey, sorry about that, ow, didn't mean to put my foot there. Oh, sorry!" Xander apologized as he dodged clawing hands too quickly for them to grab him, moving his feet out of the way of the crowd that was trying to pull him down while at the same time he was jumping from head to head or shoulder to shoulder as he attempted to get out of the middle of the street.

Suddenly an old woman went flying through the air and landed on Xander's backpack, where she commenced to scream in his ear and attempt to claw at him.

"AHHH! Crazy Granny! Get it off! Get it off!" Xander yelled wide eyed and spun around, sending the old woman flying into the crowd due to the centrifugal force of his spin.

Inside Xander's mind his little voices were on damage control, _'Um, Houston, we have a problem.'_

'_No Shit Sherlock!' _Xander mentally screamed as he finally made it out of the middle of the street and up on top of a truck that had been stopped at the intersection.

Quickly looking around, Xander mentally debated what to do, all the while his feet were busy slapping out to kick people off the sides of the truck while his hands were flying, hitting pressure points, pinching nerves, and flipping people away from him and back into the mob trying to kill him.

_Thank God for Cassy's martial arts skills!'_ Xander mentally spat as he ducked under a swinging machete and punched the guy in the gut before kicking the man in the chin to send the attacker flipping backwards into the crowd surrounding the truck.

'_I could go chameleon, but then everybody would know that I can do that if I exhibited the armor in public. Same goes for super speed or flight, not that I could really do either without really hurting a lot of people.' _Xander mentally debated while dodging what he thought was the same leaping old lady as the last time. The space above the teeming mob were crisscrossed with wires, and there seemed to be nowhere to run to except on the tops of the crowd that was pressed up tightly around him.

Suddenly a shot rang out, and a bullet zipped by, nicking Xander's ear in a small splash of blood.

Turning quickly, Xander saw the police officer who had been working with the cows had climbed up on a car and had shot at Xander.

"Fuck this, I'm out of here." Xander spat, crouching down and then exploding in a leap towards one of the tall buildings that surrounded the intersection.

Reaching out, Xander snagged the windowsill he had been aiming for and quickly pulled himself inside.

"Excuse me, pardon me, sorry, mind the feet." Xander said as he dodged through a family of people eating the mid day meal in the room.

Xander darted out of the apartment he had found himself in and then swung to the right as he heard the sounds of screaming people thundering up the stairs towards where he was.

"Up it is then." Xander decided as he turned and sprinted in the opposite direction, trying to get out of sight long enough so that he could activate his armor and disappear.

Xander raced up the stairs but on every landing he came to people were coming out into the halls, and he had no place to hide long enough that he wouldn't be seen.

"Fuck you Ra's." Xander cursed as he smashed his shoulder into the door to the roof and blasted it off its hinges as he ran out onto the top level of the apartment building.

Running across the roof, Xander continued to mumble under his breath, "When I find out where you are Ra's, I'm going to fucking kick your ass for adding complications to my life such as not letting me use my powers without giving myself away." Xander finished his statement just as he reached the edge of the roof and then jumped out into nothing towards the building that was slightly lower than the apartment building; just as a portion of the mob spilled out onto the roof that he had just left.

Xander hit the roof of the target building and rolled once before popping back to his feet and then sprinting diagonally across the flattish surface, weaving in and out of the clothes lines, antennas, pipes and electrical lines that dotted its surface.

Xander jumped off the diagonal of the roof, attempting to get to the building that was on a parallel street from where the mob had been gathered. The leap was so far that Xander had time to turn in mid air and wave at the crowds that had chased him to the tops of the buildings.

"So long Suckers!" Xander yelled right before he impacted the roof of his next targeted building.

It was at this point that Xander found out that the building code and construction standards for New Delhi were not up to the same par as those in Istanbul, Turkey.

Xander's feet landed, and rather than rolling with the blow like he had expected, Xander's feet and body punctured right through the thin layer of concrete poured over cheap old wood that had probably been decaying in the humid environment for the past forty plus years.

Xander plowed feet first through one floor, at which point the toes of his boots accidentally hooked on the headboard of a bed, causing him to continue his descent through the next solid seeming floor; only this time head first.

Xander's body exploded through the mix of stone and wood in a CRACK/Thud before his body's momentum was finally stopped by the floor of the third floor level.

Xander lay staring up at the ceiling, crunched in the corner of the room and upside down with his legs above his head. With a groan he finally slid his legs to the side so that he could lay flat on the floor in a daze.

"Ow… That's going to leave a mark." Xander grunted as he straightened his back with a pop and felt his bruised ribs and broken nose and cheek bone start to mend.

Laying panting on the floor, Xander gave himself a good ten seconds to let his healing factor and nano-clanks start healing the damage before he even thought about standing up.

'_Ha Ha!' _A high pitched teenaged male's voice laughed at Xander's pain from within his own mind, sounding very similar to a bully on the television show The Simpsons.

Xander growled in reply before standing up slowly and brushing himself off.

A shout from his left caused Xander to spin towards the sound, only to look out the large open balcony doors that he was exposed in and see the crowd all pointing at him and then charge towards the building.

"Oh great, here we go again." Xander groused before leaping off the balcony and hooking on a clothes line to slide to a building on the opposite side of the street.

"This is going to take a while." Xander said to himself under his breath as he once again burst into a room and then fled up the building's stairway towards the roof, just as more members of the mob started to race into the building in hot pursuit.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the United States, in the city of Platinum Flats, the Oracle sat at her control center poised to send aid at a moment's notice to needy heroes or heroines. She was ever ready to help her friend the Huntress, ready at a moment's notice to dial The Huntress's cell phone in case she needed an "out" on the date she was on. Basically, Barbara Gordon was doing her part to watch her friend's six while said friend went on another date with The Question.

Party voyeur and part invisible wingman, Barbara watched the third date that week for The Huntress and The Question through the security cameras planted or hacked throughout city of Platinum Flats.

Barbara thought it was both a bit romantic as well as creepy how The Question knew exactly which food, flowers, or chocolates were The Huntress's favorites, and the Oracle was there to watch the two off duty heroes stroll hand in hand through the parks together.

Every so often The Question would stop and wave at one of the hidden cameras, and Barbara would in turn just smile and shake her head at the zany crackpot's actions.

"I wonder what she sees in him?" Oracle said to herself as she panned from one camera to the next while at the same time multitasking on the tracking program to try and see what if anything she could dig up on the Grey Knight or The Leviathan.

Watching both heroes walk hand in hand into the Huntress's apartment building, and watching The Huntress drag The Question in by the lapels and wrapped in a kiss, seemed to answer Barbara's question.

Shaking her head with a smile, Barbara turned off the security cameras tracking the Justice League couple, for though The Oracle was a bit of a voyeur she wasn't a peeping tom.

Barbara's fingers flew across her keyboard as she worked on one small screen to her right before popping a wheelie with her wheelchair and swiveling to man the big computer screen and command keyboard before it.

Tapping in a few commands, the data streaming through her systems started popping up on the main computer screen; the green glow of the screens showing facts and dates of known activities and started to cross reference them to try and build a better picture.

Sighing to herself, Barbara bit her bottom lip in thought before an idea popped into her head and she smiled. Quickly typing in a command that would start a randomized data mining program that would link similar capabilities of individuals detailed in the news, Barbara mentally crossed her fingers hoping for a hit on other individuals new to the super hero/villain scene that had super strength, speed, or flight capabilities of comparable quantities with The Leviathan or Grey Knight.

A flashing light started blinking on her screen, and then a news sticker drew up information suggesting a hit in Turkey coming from the Istanbul Times newspaper's database.

Clicking a few buttons, a translation program started to run and the Turkish words on the screen started to translate into English.

"Hmmm, thwarted terrorist attack. Unknown male of… oh here we go, here is a picture." Oracle said with a smile as she clicked a button and a picture of a very handsome dark haired male, six foot three to six foot five tall, flashed up on the screen. The picture was from an upward angle looking down, and it must have come from a security camera given the graininess of the shot.

"Bingo!" Barbara said, and leaned forward to hit a button to send the information to the Batcave as a possible lead, only for the power to die and all of the lights and computer screens to go dead with a powering down snap sound.

"Dang it!" Barbara cursed, quickly swiveling her wheelchair around and quickly scooting over to an emergency power button.

Slapping the big red button, the power came back, and the room full of computer equipment came back alive with a hum and ticking sound.

Quickly wheeling herself back to her computers the screens slowly came back to life, only rather than a picture of a handsome man tearing the arm off of a suicide bomber, a large digital representation of a willow tree with red willow leaves appeared on every screen.

Barbara's eyes went large, and her jaw opened wide before she started pounding on the enter key, the escape key, and even tried to ctrl alt del her computer. Even hitting the power key didn't get the images off of the screen.

Frustrated, Barbara wheeled back and even tried to reach over and manually power down the monitors, only for them to not respond.

A second later, and for no apparent reason, the screens flashed and the willow tree disappeared, only for a flashing command icon to blink on the screen, and then start leaving a message.

"Argh matey, yer computer's been hacked by the dread pirate Red Hair. Abandon all searches ye who enter commands here. Arrrrrrrr, we've come for your digital booty." Was typed up on the screen.

The next thing that happened was that an upload symbol started ticking across the screen, showing that all of the Oracle's databases were being copied.

"AGGGGGHH!" Barbara screamed and tugged on her hair in a mix of anger and fear.

Barbara pounded on her keyboard, she depressed the manual off button on her computer, and she even turned and quickly pushed herself over to the emergency power button before slamming her palm repeatedly on the big red button, all to no avail.

"No, no, this can't be happening! Damn-it, No!" She screamed in frustration as the upload bar hit complete.

"Ding! Job's done, Have a nice day." Issued out of the computer speakers the friendly male voice that most AOL users are familiar with when they receive email.

The screens in the room all flickered black, and then when they came back up they all showed the desktop of Oracle's operating system.

"No! Please say it's not all gone!" Barbara spat as she quickly wheeled over to her main control center and her fingers started flying over the commands to bring up her data storage systems, looking for anything that was missing.

"Still here, still here, yeah that's still there… Whew, it looks like it's still all… Oh shit, it's gone." Oracle read through the files, finding most of her database was still whole until she got to the part where information housing data regarding The Leviathan and The Grey Knight was contained. The files on the Romanian dictator and his armored demon-hunting cousin were all gone; in fact, there wasn't a trace in the system that they had ever existed.

Eyes large, Barbara bit her lip hard enough to make them flush red as she quickly tried to bring up the information of the Istanbul Times regarding the thwarted terrorist attack.

"It's gone." Barbara stated with dread, for not only was the information housed on her system regarding the mysterious man gone, but every online edition or copy of the article from the Turkish newspaper was erased from the internet along with the Istanbul Time's own news databases.

"What am I going to do?" Barbara gasped, before an idea popped into her head and a smile crept across her face.

Quickly popping another wheelie in her wheel chair, she raced out of the room to the private elevator and used her keycard to go to the sub-subbasement that wasn't even listed as a possible floor on the numbers in the elevator.

Smirking to herself, she wheeled out of the elevator and up to a steel vault door with a state of the art biometric locking system, courtesy of Wayne Enterprises and Bruce Wayne.

Plugging in the right code sequence, laying her hand on the scanner, then scanning her iris and stating her name to the computerized security system, the vault door opened and Barbara wheeled into her stand alone backup database system.

Scooting through the maze of servers, super computers and backup raid systems, Barbara pushed herself up to the only computer consol in the room and logged in and booted up her database management system.

"Heh, mess with my data will you." Barbara snipped under her breath while keying in a search for the data on The Leviathan and the Grey Knight.

"You might be able to get at my system connected to the outside world, but there is no way you could get at my backup data in the unconnected system, heh." Barbara said smugly to herself as she crossed her arms over her chest and sat back in her chair to wait.

Barbara stared smirking at the screen and waited. And waited… and waited.

At the five minute mark her smirk started to fade, and by the ten minute mark Oracle was starting to look worried.

"Search complete, no files found matching your search parameters." The computer system stated after fifteen minutes of fruitless searching.

"Arrrrrrgghhh!" Barbara screamed in rage and punched her fist into the keyboard, causing keys to go scattering across the floor around her.

In her ranting and raging Barbara never thought to look behind her at the top of the computer racks, where a little one-eyed square metal box with little arms and legs blinked at her before stepping into a black transporter portal and disappearing from the server room.

* * *

The Justice League orbital Watchtower was in the middle of the third shift, and Batman was manning the consol watching over the world.

"Hmmm, interesting." Batman said to himself as he read over the email just sent to him by The Oracle. "It sounds like she is a little angry." He muttered, deep in thought as he reread the paragraph laden with curse words and ending with the sentence that The Oracle was going home to cry on her couch and eat large helpings of chocolate ice cream.

Batman flipped a tab on his utility belt and pulled out a recorder, "Note to file regarding Oracle, give her three days to calm down before asking her what has her so angry." Bruce paused mid dictation while he wavered on whether or not to let Nightwing and Robin know that approaching Oracle within the next twenty four hours may be hazardous to their health.

'_No, the painful lessons are the best remembered ones.' _Bruce Wayne thought to himself and allowed a slight smirk to cross his face. Sometimes it was the small things in life that made being a mentor to other crime fighters so much fun.

A flashing light and an alarm sound on his dashboard drew Batman out of his introspection on his latest torture...um, he meant training of his protégés.

Pressing a few buttons on the command keyboard, the main screen in front of Batman flashed up with an image of two unidentified flying objects breaking the upper atmosphere and set for a near collision course with the Watchtower.

Frowning, which Batman was oft to do, Bruce triggered his communicator. "Plasticman, are you completing your Javelin sweep of Earth's orbit?" Batman asked.

"Plasticman here oh dark one, roger roger smokey on my pokey." Plasticman quipped over the channel.

Batman growled over the communicator, "Plasticman, do you remember why you are scheduled for the same shifts that I'm in charge of?"

Over the communicator came the sound of Plasticman audibly gulping before giving Batman a shaky reply, "Um, uh, yeah. It's because I'm scared of you."

Batman smirked before growling again into the communicator, "That's right, and unless you want me running your practice sessions in the Watchtower's holographic training room over the next month, you will be serious when you are on shift. Is that clear?"

"Uh, yep, um, I mean yes Sir Batman Sir." Plasticman quickly replied before remembering Batman's original question over the communicator. "Um, yeah, I'm almost back to the Watchtower with Javelin space craft four, is there something I can help you with? Plastic man finished quickly and very politely.

Batman looked up at the screen and typed in a few commands, plotting a vector path of the two unidentified flying objects and realizing that they would easily pass within sight of the watchtower's viewing sensors.

"I'm sending you the coordinates to two objects rapidly approaching the Watchtower, I want you to swing by them and tell me what you see. Batman out." Batman commanded.

"Roger Batman, I'm on it." Plasticman said, a bit of his normal zaniness coming out in the elastic hero's voice yet still staying serious.

A few seconds passed with Batman staring resolutely at the screen as the two objects drew closer. Finally Plasticman's voice split the silence.

"Um, Batman, you're going to think I'm joking, but um, they're cows." Plasticman's voice stated.

Batman frowned and glared at the communicator before answering back with his deep voice, "Repeat again Plasticman, and you better hope you aren't joking."

"They are cows! Cows I tell you! Bovines! Frozen white cattle of the grass-eating cud-chewing persuasion!" Plasticman replied excitedly.

"They appear to be dead and frozen from their assent into space, though there seems to be some singed and blackened portions on their hides, probably from breaking the atmosphere. Hey, somebody's delivered fresh stakes to the Watchtower, I call dibs on the New York strip!" Plasticman couldn't help it, and cracked a joke at the end.

"Plasticman!" Batman snarled.

"Sorry boss, but you have to admit that flying cows are a bit odd, even for us." Plasticman said, a smile clearly in his voice. "Still, the least they could have done was send pigs, flying pigs would have made so much more sense."

Batman tuned out Plasticman's continuing diatribe about flying pigs being the new other white meat, now with half the fat. Instead, Bruce went about plugging in the controls to pivot the cameras on the station to zoom in on the rapidly approaching cows.

Sure enough, on the main screen of the Watchtower were two frozen cows, forever halted in the middle of a lowing moo.

"Hmmm, white cows, large girth and of a central Asian variety typical for India. The trajectory path leads from New Delhi." Batman stated out loud, the great detective putting together the visual clues along with the trajectory data to get an idea of what exactly happened.

Looking up at the duty roster Batman saw that Wonder Woman was currently assigned to that region of the world.

"Wonder Woman," Batman called into the communicator while directing the communications system to send a message to the Amazonian Princess.

A few moments later a reply came.

"Wonder Woman here, go ahead Batman." The Amazon Warrior Princess replied professionally.

"Wonder Woman, what is your current location?" Batman queried.

"I'm on an ambassadorial peace negotiations mission, meeting with the Indian Foreign Minister and the Pakistani Ambassador to India regarding the unrest in the Kashmir district. What can I do to assist you Batman?" Diana answered back.

Batman reviewed the data one more time to make sure he was correct, before panning the watchtower's main Earth directed sensors towards New Delhi.

"Would you please ask the Indian Minister if he is aware of the Indian space agency launching cows into orbit without a capsule or shuttle? I have two frozen cows set on a fly by with the station in a moment here. Trajectory suggests they came from New Delhi." Batman replied.

There was silence over the communicator for several moments, and then Wonder Woman's voice hesitantly questioned, "Batman, please repeat, did you say you have two free floating cows about to pass the Watchtower space station? Are you joking?"

Batman gritted his teeth, "I never joke about things like this." He stated unequivocally.

"Oh, well good. That's what I thought, you never joke about anything. One second please." Wonder Woman replied.

Batman spent the next several seconds grinding his teeth together, once again faced with the double standard of both being happy and miffed that people didn't think he had a sense of humor.

"The Minister states that they would never launch cows into space with or without a capsule, of this he is sure as the cows are sacred and believed to be reincarnated ancestors by the Hindi nationals." Wonder Woman explained.

Batman growled under his breath and panned over the city, looking for some sort of launch facility or something that was out of the norm.

"Hmmm, busy streets, busy streets, mobs torching stores and fighting in the streets, busy streets… wait a second." Batman stated as he quickly panned his cameras over New Delhi.

Zooming in on a particular bloody brawl going on in front of a temple, he was shocked to see a large muscular figure, painted whitish blue in color and wielding tridents, swords and a lotus flower in multiple arms charging out of a nearby temple roaring at the suddenly stunned and fearful crowd.

Hitting a button, Batman quickly uploaded the images to Wonder Woman's communicator.

Wonder Woman took one look at her communicator and replied, "I'm on it!" before shutting off the communicator connection.

* * *

The crowded tangle of bodies screamed and frothed at the mouth as they attempted to pound the defiler of their reincarnated ancestors into a bloody mash on the ground. The crowd punched and kicked what they thought was the man who had fallen off of their shoulders and to the street, not really caring who they were really hitting as long as there was the chance that the heathen was at the middle of the melee and no doubt dying.

Meanwhile at the back of the crowd, Xander finished crawling on his elbows and knees out from under the last body, a shimmering shield floating just a half inch away from the surface of his body and protecting him from the crush and blows that had been aimed at him.

So focused was the crowd on the supposed murder of Xander, or at least on where Xander should have been, that they didn't see him rapidly crab walk out from among the legs of the mob and through the semi closed gates to the temple that appeared to be under construction or restoration.

Xander peaked out from around one of the gate's posts and stared as the rabble devolved from a targeted attack on one man into an out and out bloody brawl with blood, clothing and hair flying.

"Whew, glad to get out of there, but now what am I supposed to do about the mob?" Xander questioned under his breath, feeling glad that he had finally escaped the mob but aghast at the bloodshed that his unknown attempt at help had caused.

Xander watched as the people seemed to turn on each other and devolve the chaos into an out and out blood bath; as knives, pipes, hammers and tools were picked up off the street and used by the rioters to bludgeon or stab one another.

Xander started to look frantically around while trying to think up some way to stop the bloodshed.

'_I can't use my armor or then I'll get blamed for the riot, and if I go out there like this they will just turn on me again.'_ Xander thought frantically as he turned to look at the temple behind him, at the abandoned scaffolding, wood piles, paint cans, tools and masonry lying around.

'_If only there was some way that I could scare the people away without showing who I really am, maybe I could get them to all go home.'_ Xander furiously plotted, looking around at the beautiful yet scary paintings of blue and white multi armed gods smiting down demons or chasing away evil beings.

Xander looked back to the bloodshed, only to pause and his eyes went big.

Turning back around quickly, Xander looked at the murals painted on the wall. Under one of the larger pictures of a whitish blue figure with a lotus blossom in one hand, a trident in another and several weapons in other arms, Xander saw a sign that was written in both Hindi and English.

"Shiva the Destroyer," Was all that the English said, though the description in Hindi seemed to be much more detailed and go on at length about the so called God Shiva.

Xander smirked an evil genius smile and turned and ran for the scaffolding that held several buckets of paint. Dropping his backpack on the ground, Xander pulled himself onto the scaffolding and reached for one of the tools sitting on the wooden scaffold floor.

Grabbing a nearby putty knife, Xander slipped it under the lid of the large multi-gallon bucket of paint and slammed his fist down on the back of the putty knife; snapping the knife in half, but not before both the lid and the front part of the knife flipped through the air to land far away on the ground.

Looking into the paint can, Xander smiled. The color of the paint in the can matched perfectly the color of the angry God Shiva as depicted on the walls of the temple.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha ha." Xander chuckled as he picked up the bucket of paint, lifted it above his head, and then upended it all over his head, face and clothing.

"Pew, blah, ugh, tastes horrible." Xander spat out the paint that had gotten in his mouth while using his nano-clank clothing to form a rag with which to wipe the paint out of his eyes.

"Not your best plan of action Xander." He said to himself as he fished a finger in his ear to get a bit of paint out of it so that he could hear. Still, he didn't have a lot of time as blood was continuing to flow on the streets outside the temple.

Closing his eyes, now painted white from head to toe, Xander mentally commanded his armor to form a body suit such that Xander would look naked.

Xander's white painted body continued to stand still for a second, before his normal dark hair suddenly seemed to vibrate and shake off the white paint clinging to it, leaving the rest of Xander's body painted the proper colors depicting Shiva with the whitish body and the dark black hair. Then with a mental command, several additional arms spread out from the sides of Xander's nano-clank clothing, mirroring the two arms that Xander had been born with originally.

Opening his eyes, Xander looked at his new arms and hands and smirked evilly to himself. "Wa ha ha ha… hmm, I wonder if the girls would ever want to play with this whole multi arm thing some time?" He mumbled to himself as he checked himself out, twisting from side to side.

Xander heard a blood curdling scream come from the other side of the temple's wall and his eyes got big.

"Bad Xander, Bad! No thinking about sex when people are potentially dying, even if said people were originally trying to kill you due to your own ignorance." Xander berated himself and face palmed himself before shaking his head and then closing his eyes again.

In the multiple hands now sported on Xander's body, a trident and multiple weapons grew and formed in his grasp.

Opening his eyes and taking a tentative swing with his new limbs, Xander smirked to himself for a second, then stilled his features and looked around quickly. There on a pond to the side of the temple gardens was a lotus plant in bloom. Plucking the flower with one of his new arms, and relying on the nano-clanks to move it realistically, Xander sprinted for the temple's main gates and the street on the other side.

Bursting out into the street, Xander saw that there were several bodies lying unconscious in the street, and injured people were trying to drag themselves away from the brawl.

Thinking fast, Xander new that he needed to grab the crowd's attention, so he decided to do what always worked for his friend Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "when you absolutely must have their attention right away, charge head first."

"ROOOOOAAAARRR!" Xander yelled as he charged the crowd, activating the speaker system in his armor to broadcast his yell so loudly that it shook the windows of the cars along the street and knocked down the first ranks of rioters closest to Xander.

As one the crowd stopped fighting and turned to look at the charging Xander, and like a deer caught in the headlights, they all froze wide eyed.

Xander skidded to a halt about twenty paces from the leading figure of the crowd, his arms waving around him threateningly, but the people were all just stunned in fear at what looked a whole lot like the very angry Hindu God Shiva.

Xander stared at the crowd unsure what to do, since he didn't want to attack the people and had been counting on his charge to scare them into running away.

The people stared at the God Shiva, unaware of what to do, and too scared to run away.

Xander stared at the mob.

The mob stared at Xander.

It was at this point that one of the little voices in Xander's head yelled out in panick, _'Do something Idiot! When in doubt, just do something!'_

So Xander did do something.

He started to snoopy dance.

Little did Xander know, but one of the principal images of the God Shiva, and Vishnu for that matter, was of the God's dancing before laying the smack down on their enemies.

The image of the God dancing hit the minds of the rioters, and for some unknown reason something clicked in the back of their minds, and they screamed in terror and fled from the snoopy dancing God, Shiva the Destroyer, aka Xander Harris covered in white paint.

Xander waved his arms and skittered his feet from side to side while bobbing his head, and like a receding tidal wave, the mass of formerly rioting humanity that was in the street before him fled in fear.

'_I don't know what you're doing, or why it's working, but keep it up you beautiful bastard.'_ The voice of panic ranted in the back of Xander's mind.

Fifteen seconds later, Xander couldn't even see a single soul on the streets.

'_You know you can stop dancing now, they're gone._' A voice stated at Xander.

'_Yep, heh heh, snoopy dance wins again. Thank God for organized religions and superstitions… or in this case thank gods.'_ Xander mentally quipped while stopping dancing and looking around.

Turning back towards the temple gates, Xander wandered back to where he had created his costume, picked up his backpack, and then proceeded into the temple to look for a towel or something to get him fully clean; leaving a trail of white footprints behind him.

Xander mentally joked around and had a few laughs with the voices in his head as he found what appeared to be a room for the priests in the temple to clean up in, using a small pool of spring water that bubbled up from the ground. Well, either that or it was a sacred pool that was now despoiled by Xander washing off all of the white paint off his skin before grabbing a couple colorful handkerchief like things to get the paint out of his ears and wiped off of his arms. His nano-clank clothing completed the cleaning effort by covering him from head to toe for a moment, absorbed the left over paint chemicals, and then transformed back into his original outfit of the white T-shirt and khaki pants and boots.

Whistling a little jaunty tune, Xander turned to close the door to the "clean-up room" behind him, turned around, and bumped into something solid yet pleasantly squishy.

Xander stumbled backwards a step, and was surprised to see a woman in a tight red-white-and-blue starred outfit with gold highlights take a confused stumbling step backwards as well before she bounced up into a fighting stance.

Xander looked over the woman, and two voices in his head went to war.

'_Oh, Boobies! Looky looky at the wonderful boobies!' _The little voice of Xander's libido yelled in Xander's head.

'_No, look her in the face, for god's sake and everything holy, look her in the face. Do you really want to get knocked out by an Amazon? For God's sake man, think of the children!' _The voice of self preservation shouted back in Xander's head.

Xander's libido stopped chanting, _'Boobies!'_ and asked, _'Wait, what children?'_

'_Xander's future children. As in if you look at Wonder Woman wrong or make a comment about her breasts, you are likely to lose the ability to procreate beyond even the ability of our nano-clanks to heal.'_ The voice of self preservation answered frantically.

'_Good point. All in favor of looking Wonder Woman in the eyes, say Aye.'_ The voice of the libido stated, for some reason strangely mature for once.

'_AYE,'_ Almost all of the voices stated, except for one who called out, '_hippopotamus._'

The little voice continued stating the results of the vote, _'The Ayes have it on a unanimous vote with one abstention due to insanity. Look at the face. Oh, and whatever you do, don't act guilty, there's a chance that if you spin this right it could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship; or at least wild passionate sex!'_

Xander gave Wonder Woman a beaming smile and looked her right in the eyes, "Wow, hi Wonder Woman. What are you doing here?" He questioned, putting on the theatrical mask of the innocent harmless happy-go-lucky Xander that had always worked back in Sunnydale.

Wonder Woman bounced back from the stuttered step, feeling like she had been briefly pushed back by a wall of steel. However when she looked up and examined the tall young man in front of her, a man who was actually taller and appeared more muscled than she, his smile and easy going demeanor seemed to belay any threat.

Diana shook her head to clear it, _'No, this couldn't be the cause of the riots or the attacking beast, but I better check anyway.' _ She thought to herself when she looked at the goofy smiling handsome man in front of her. There was something about him, like a big cuddly puppy, something that made her want to like him, but she just shook that off and gave him a resolved business look.

"What are you doing in here? Did you see a being come through here? Colored white with multiple arms and weapons?" She questioned him quickly and impatiently, crossing her arms across her chest.

'_Look at the eyes man! Do it for your testicles, ignore the fact that her crossed arms are pushing up those lovely lovely oh so succulent melons of perfection…' _The first voice started off directing Xander to pay attention to the question and not the woman, but as Xander was still a teen, and a sparky teen at that, his libido did tend to get distracted by women and their amazing curves.

'_SMACK!' _The sound of a mental slap rang through Xander's head and pulled his attention back to the question she had just asked him.

Wonder Woman looked quizzically for a second, as she could have sworn the young man's eyes had glossed over for a brief moment there before he was smiling back at her again.

"What am I doing here? Well hello, didn't you hear the riot that was going on out there? This place seemed the safest place around here given the mood on the streets." Xander explained, gesturing back towards the front gate with a self deprecating shrug. "I did what any sane individual would do and came in here to avoid the mob."

Wonder Woman started to relax her guard a bit, almost naturally in the presence of this man. However what he said next had her spinning about and dropping into a fighting stance.

"As for a multi-armed god with weapons who is painted white, well he's behind you." Xander said with a smile.

Wonder Woman's eyes got large at his statement and quickly swung around to look behind her… only to find the hallway empty.

Turning back to glare at the young backpacker, she bit out, "That wasn't funny. This is a serious situation and there was nobody there."

Xander took a step back and put his hands up in front of him, "Whoa there Princess, I never said that a person was there, I just said that I saw what you described behind you. And I did see… um, do see… It's on the mural behind you. Apparently this is a temple to the god Shiva." Xander said, finishing with a 'don't kill the messenger' type of smile that had always worked around Buffy. However when Xander used it on Buffy he usually had a box of donuts in hand to shield him; Xander had learned that it was always good to bring sweets to distract angry warrior women. The fact that he was without a box of donuts and didn't have any chocolate of the distraction kind Xander feel strangely naked and unprotected at the moment, what with Wonder Woman glaring at him with a look that promised severe pain.

Wonder Woman slowly looked around at the walls that surrounded them, and sure enough the paintings and sculptures of Shiva the dancer, Shiva the destroyer, were everywhere.

Xander took Wonder Woman's distraction as a chance to try and escape, once again trying to get out of the situation unidentified.

So while Wonder Woman examined the art work regarding the ancient Hindu god, Xander started whistling innocently to himself and shuffling to the side without her noticing.

One slide to the left was followed by a second slide to the left. Then Xander had an opening to pass the Amazon Princess who had been blocking his path.

Xander took one step, and then a second, followed by a third, trying to stroll nonchalantly down the hall while whistling; he even slid his hands in his pockets as if he was just going to stroll away.

'_Almost there! Almost there!'_ Xander mentally chanted to himself as he passed the princess and could see the light of the temple's entrance hitting the floor only five feet away.

Suddenly a golden lasso appeared above Xander's head and then synched down around his upper torso, pinning his arms to his chest.

'_Drat! So close, yet so far away.'_ Xander mentally groused while flinching a bit at getting caught in his escape attempt.

Xander turned around to face the now darkly glowering Wonder Woman who was holding tightly to the lasso.

"Uh, can I help you Wonder Woman?" Xander questioned, trying his hardest to put off an innocent look; which was surprisingly more difficult to do now that he stood somewhere around six foot five and as muscularly hulking as Superman.

"You're leaving white footprints." Wonder Woman growled.

Xander looked down wide eyed, and sure enough, there was a trail of white footprints leading from the room he had exited and right to his feet. Picking up the bottom of one of his feet, he saw that there was still paint stuck to the bottom of it from where he had exited the room, no doubt stepping in the vestiges of the white paint that he had used for his costume.

Xander stared up at Wonder Woman, then down at his feet, then back at the golden lasso.

Wonder Woman opened her mouth to ask a question, but a thought popped into Xander's mind and he quickly held up a hand and shouted, "Wait!" to interrupt her.

"Fast question." Xander started, "Um, this lasso, its magical, right?" He questioned hopefully.

Wonder Woman didn't catch the hint of hope in the man's voice and stood straight and regal as she answered him, "Yes, it is magical and was forged by the Gods of mount Olympus. With it you will be forced to tell the truth and the whole truth." She stated looking back at him challengingly.

Xander just smiled back at her. "Well in that case." He replied, "All I can say is, ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies." He finished with a big toothy grin.

Wonder Woman's eyebrows furrowed, this wasn't how most people reacted when told that they were captured by the lasso of truth. Further, since he was already tied by the lasso, then she figured that his comment about asking questions and lies had to be the truth. This was confusing.

Shrugging off her confusion she focused on the man and demanded, "Who are you?"

Xander just shrugged and answered with a smile, "Alexander Harris, but my friends call me Xander." He finished, leaving off his full name or any other of the pertinent facts or names by which he was called; it wasn't like the magic could really force him to tell the truth yet he didn't really want to out and out lie to Wonder Woman either. After all, Nth Metal had been originally used by the Thangarians to destroy the gods that had plagued their planet. It wasn't like some measly rope forged by some Greek god was going to have a whole lot of effect on Xander given the amount of Nth Metal coursing through his body.

This wasn't the answer Diana expected. Such a simple answer and a simple name, though she did recognize the name Alexander as meaning "Protector of Man" from Greek. Then again she had often come upon humans, born in Man's World, with many names that held deeper meanings. It didn't mean that the person held those qualities nor that there was some deeper meaning than that the parents had just liked a certain name for their child.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, a little bit unsure that this man could have anything to do with the current situation, but having to ask. She left the question as broad as possible, hoping to divine more information.

Xander just smiled and gave another shrug while answering, "I'm just passing through New Delhi on a cross country trip to a destination that I'm not really sure of. I was just about to leave New Delhi when I bumped into you, literally."

At this point, Wonder Woman was starting to feel a bit guilty about waylaying a normal human. That and the fact that if this man wasn't the culprit for the supposed attack by Shiva, then she was wasting time and was letting the guilty party escape. Still, he was the only one in the temple which the beast had fled into, and he was tracking white paint.

"And the white paint, why are you leaving tracks?" The tall dark haired beauty questioned with the rise of an elegant eyebrow.

Xander smirked and waved around at the walls as best as he could while tied up, "Look around you Princess, the temple is under construction and the paint on the walls is fresh." He felt a bit bad about not really answering the question, and his answer was the closest he had come to out and out lying. Still, in situations where the choices were to lie or to gamble with possibility that lives could be lost, namely his in this case, the lie was going to win.

Xander finished explaining while painting a smile on his face as he watched the realization flow over Wonder Woman's face that she had been wrong in semi attacking him. The disappointment in herself that flashed across the beautiful woman's face was almost more effective in getting Xander to tell the truth than the lasso and its ineffective magical effect. Ultimately he held strong in his silent smile, and waited for her to hopefully let him go without a fight.

Wonder Woman looked around at the walls, and she blushed a bit as she cursed herself for jumping to the wrong conclusion about this man. She had seen a large man with an intimidating, though handsome, figure step out of the room in the temple and had figured him for a threat. Not only that, but when they had collided she had actually been pushed back a step from the force of the impact, a feat that only beings of equal super strength should have been able to succeed. However, now in hind sight she doubted herself and figured that she had just stumbled backwards due to being startled or from the unexpected contact. All these thoughts flowed through her mind and were briefly shown on her face.

Finally with a sigh and a slumping of her shoulders in shame, she flicked her wrist and released the lasso from around Xander, returning it to her hands with a deft twist and a tug.

Pulling her shoulders back regally, she briefly gave a head bow, "I am sorry Alexander Harris for detaining you forcefully. I was mistaken in my belief that you were the cause of the troubles in the street, and I apologize." She stated regally, looking Xander in the eyes.

Xander's heart tugged a bit, both from her beauty and regal attitude, as well as the fact that he was basically duping her and taking advantage of her assumptions. Still, he couldn't help but smile back at her and wink.

"No harm done Princess. Any time you want to play with tying people up, feel free to look me up. But next time I get to tie you up." Xander finished with a wink and a toothy smile.

For some unexpected reason, Diana found herself blushing and a hint of a smile came across her face before she could stop it. Normally she would be offended or ignore the insinuated statement. But then again Alexander did cut a very attractive package, and there was just something about him that called to a portion of her being. She didn't know what or why, but he was attractive to her. Still, she was an Amazonian Princess and had standards and honor to uphold.

The blush disappeared from her face and she looked a bit haughtily back at Xander, "Thank you for accepting my apology Mr. Harris, and I'm sorry for your time. I must go as League business is pressing. Good day and safe travels." She stated with another head nod before wheeling on her feet to track back into the temple.

"Oh princess." Xander cried out, stopping her progress away from him. Diana turned to look at Xander briefly over her shoulder.

"No hard feelings, and really, I understand how sometimes things or people can be more than they seem, and sometimes they are less than they seem. I wish you luck in your Justice League business. Happy hunting." Xander finished with a jaunty wave and a smile as he pulled his backpack snug against his shoulders and walked happily out of the temple with a whistle and a spring in his step.

Wonder Woman stared after the figure of Alexander as he disappeared out of the darkened temple and into the bright light. Shaking her head in a mixture of frustration and unexpected admiration, she turned and went to search the temple.

Thirty minutes of searching the temple left her without a clue as to where the supposed living embodiment of the god Shiva had disappeared to.

However as Wonder Woman was leaving the temple she saw the closed door which Alexander had left right before she had run into him, and she decided with a shrug that she would examine the contents of the room.

One look at the room with the spring of water in it told her that there was more white paint in there than just what could be tracked in via stepping in spilled paint at a construction site. There was even a set of three hand prints on the wall, two right hand prints with one above the other and one left hand print, as if some multiple armed being had used the wall for support by touching it with multiple hands while using a free arm to clean themselves of paint. It was possible that one person with two arms could have simply leaned against the wall multiple times with either hand, but then again white paint was simply everywhere in the room, tracked across the floor, dripping in the water, and wiped across the prayer flags. Further damning was that there was a lotus flower with white paint on it lying forgotten on the floor.

Wide eyed, Wonder Woman remembered Alexander's parting quip.

"Sometimes people can be more than they seem, and sometimes they are less than they seem… Holy Hera, it really was him!" She cursed, flinging herself out of the room and running for the entrance to the temple.

There, leading out of the temple were the even white paint prints exiting the temple and heading towards the gate.

However, the footprints didn't proceed through the gate.

As Wonder Woman looked around for any clue to track Alexander Harris, she realized that he had disappeared.

Just like the white footprints that suddenly stopped five feet before the gate to the temple, there was no further sign of Alexander Harris anywhere to be found.

* * *

**AN: Heh heh, Xander duped Wonder Woman, and RedTree is driving Oracle crazy. And we are off to the destination location, bonus points if you guess it. Those of you who guess it get a brand new noprize. I congratulate you in advance on your noprize, but seriously, you can at least get bragging rights for claiming that you guessed it before I wrote it. Talking about bragging rights, a while back I made an author's note regarding guesses on who would be in the harem. We are finally getting to the point where you can start to make some educated guesses. Those who guess right will have their names put in the end notes in the chapters where their guesses comes true, so give it a go if you want. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, and please send me more of the good ideas. I really do appreciate the reviews and the well wishes. I can't tell you how much they make me smile, and they are actually the first thing I check on the internet in the morning, and the last thing I check before I go to bed. I share the best ones with my wife who just smiles and nods along while inching away from me and my maniacal laughter. I think that means she likes them too. Shrug* Oh well, keep them coming please! Cheers!**


	32. Chapter 32:Life,TheSpark,&EverythingInIt

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN1. To all who thought the wild crazy bad luck and good luck situations, or incredible happenstance, were simply filler or random crazy situations just thrown in for no purpose other than laughs, I say WRONG! Ok, partially wrong… I do like to write them for laughs and enjoyment. That said, I now give you the chapter that explains what the hell is going on with all the crazy random crap that comes Xander's way. It's a Spark thing. Oh, and its a long chapter also, so I hope you enjoy it. Let me know your thoughts. Cheers!**

**AN2. To those who thought Xander should have just used his nano-clank armor to turn himself white, I give you two answers: **

**1. It's boring and using the nano-clank armor that way would have been the most logical rational way of turning himself white. Thus, as a Major Spark, Xander would do something with more pizzazz. Sparks don't do rational. Sparks don't do the simple way. Think Rube Goldberg solutions. Think about things like a gun that is fueled by transdimensional energy and shoots flaming marshmallows in order to simply make chocolate s'mores. **

**2. Xander's armor covers his face in a featureless helmet, Shiva has a human face with exposed features like eyes, ears and a nose. Thus it wouldn't have worked to use the full armor, especially not in the split second decision before he was facing the mob. Xander saw the paint, had a crazy idea, and went with it. Shrug, it's what makes characters with the Spark so dangerous, insane and most of all fun. Basically the mindset of the Spark is, rational = boring. That said, on with the story.**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 32: Life, The Spark, and Everything in It.**

"A Buddhist monk, visiting New York City for the first time in twenty years, walked up to a hot dog vendor, handed him a twenty dollar bill, and said, "Make me one with everything."

The vendor pocketed the money, and handed the Buddhist monk his hot dog. The monk, after waiting for a moment, asked for his change. The vendor looked at him and said, "Change comes from within." With a wistful smile, the monk walked away." ~Unknown

Nine o'clock, and all was not well, for who enjoys getting stuck in an hour long meeting at the beginning of a Friday morning? Such was the life of the Justice League members as they met to go over the events since their last monthly meeting at the beginning of March. Still the fresh Sparkbucks coffee was a perk at the meeting, thus the explanations of the latest threat assessment was interrupted by intermittent sipping and slurping sounds, depending on the hero and their choice of caffeinated beverage.

"Now if you see here, we are noticing a recent down turn in the need for humanitarian relief while super villain actions remain at normal levels for this time of year." The Martian Manhunter stated as he walked in front of a large projected image of threat bubbles that populated a map of earth.

"SLurrrrrp."

The Martian Manhunter's eyebrow-ridge twitched at the sound of the slurp, but he stoically continued the forecast for potential problems. "Looking to the east, we note that it is about time for tornadoes in the mid-western United States, and if you follow this jet stream across the Gulf of Mexico we can expect a few major hurricanes that may need our attention."

"SLurrrrrrrrpppppp"

J'onn J'onzz the Martian Manhunter's eye took on a slight tick as the slurping sound was like nails on a chalk board for his alien mind. Gritting his teeth, the normally staid Martian continued his presentation, "Mudslides in South America, tidal waves in Indonesia and surrounding Islands, earth quakes in Japan, and…"

"SLURRRRRRRRPPPPPP!"

"By Saturn's Rings! I swear Flash, if you don't stop that slurping I'm going to telepathically switch your mind around so that think you are a six year old little girl on the good ship Lollypop!" The Martian Manhunter lost it, for probably the first time in the league's noted history. It was official; apparently The Flash could get more annoying than he already was.

All around the conference room jaws dropped open to stare at the panting and fist clenching Martian Manhunter, before they all swiveled to glare at The Flash.

The Flash was oblivious to the reactions around him, or even that the conference had stopped. Instead he was busy trying to look down the straw at the remaining drops of his quadruple no-whipped iced mocha Sparkbuck's special.

Realizing that it was quiet, Wally West finally looked up and then his head darted from side to side as he realized that everybody in the room was staring at him.

"What?" The Flash asked with a raised eyebrow.

"The slurping… stop the damn slurping." The Martian Manhunter uncharacteristically growled.

The Flash looked confused, "What? But the best stuff is at the bottom." He explained, looking around for any sympathy from his fellow Justice League members but not receiving any. "But, but, the chocolate syrup all drops to the bottom and gets stuck to the ice. Without the slurping it goes to waste." Wally West tried to explain.

"Give me that!" Batman said from next to Flash, snatching the plastic iced mocha cup from The Flash and crushing it before dropping it into a nearby trash receptacle.

The Flash pouted before replying, "Fine." With that he reached down to his waist and snagged a white and gold colored aluminum can from a bandoleer of similar cans around his waist, popped the tab and started to sip it.

Everybody just stared at The Flash for a moment in silence. Only Plasticman couldn't help but break said silence.

"Wait a second, are you wearing an ammo belt loaded with some sort of beverage? What is that stuff?" Plasticman questioned, stretching his neck up into the air to thread in between other heroes until he was able to look over The Flash's shoulder with his elastic neck.

"It's not an ammo belt, it's my utility belt. As for what it is, it's called 'Liquid Schwartz,' the new energy drink from the maker of Sparkbucks; you need a prescription to buy it." The Flash said with a big smile before taking another sip and then smiling contentedly.

"Wait, a prescription?" Plasticman asked, his question drowning out Batman's mumbled growl of, "It's not a utility belt."

"Yep," Flash stated proudly before turning and smirking at Batman, "You're just jealous that your utility belt doesn't come with energy drinks." The Flash ignored the murderous look of Batman along with the caped crusader's grinding teeth, and instead turned his attention back to Plasticman. "Twenty times the safe limit of caffeine for normal humans to consume. I had to get a Doctor to give me a prescription in order to get it. However, it's amazing what you can get people to do when you tell them something is needed in order to save the world." Flash finished with a large smile and another sip.

Plasticman looked intrigued for a moment, and then smiled at Flash, "Hmm, that might work for a great pickup line. Thanks Flash." Plasticman finished as one of his elastic arms snaked through the crowd go give The Flash a thumbs up while making a point to remember the whole, 'it's needed to save the world,' line. Two rows back, Booster Gold opened up a little black book and added the pickup line to his list.

"BAH! Fine! I'm finished. Back to you Batman." The Martian Manhunter threw up his hands in frustration and marched back to his seat; so upset that he didn't even float across the room gracefully like normal.

Batman growled at Plasticman and The Flash, and both hunkered down in their seats and remained silent. Well sort of silent, the Flash still sipped his drink, but very quietly.

Batman's glare cut through the room for a moment before punching in a few keys on the keyboard in front of him and bringing up a new threat assessment briefing.

In the holographic projector in the middle of the room, several figures were displayed, and Batman began to speak.

"As most of you know from the world news, we have some new meta-humans of indeterminate threat level to deal with." Batman started with a wave towards the holographic image and a picture of The Grey Knight appeared.

"First we have the self titled Grey Knight, whose only known appearances have been limited to the United States." Batman growled and his face scowled more than usual as the image of the scary red eyed visage of the hulking armored demon hunter was shown.

"Sources are scarce but what is known is that he is a demon hunter, comes from an unknown dimension, and is heavily armed and armored as well as leading several squads of highly trained armored troops." Batman explained while images of The Grey Knight were prefaced with a few pictures of his troops. "Etrigan should be especially careful in confronting The Grey Knight as it is unknown who or what he defines as a demon which he should hunt." Batman continued, giving a pointed look to Jason Blood, the man whose body housed the demon Etrigan.

Jason Blood nodded in understanding, and Batman returned to his discussion.

Gesturing back towards the holographic image projector as it changed to the image of a mirrored helmeted man in a black suit, black gloves and shoes, and a blood red tie. "The Leviathan, alleged cousin of The Grey Knight and self appointed political counterpart to his cousin." Batman stated while looking around at the audience of Justice League members.

Several members in the crowd gritted their teeth or fingered their maces, namely the Green Lantern and Hawkgirl. Whereas Superman and the Martian Manhunter looked stoically at the image and Wonder Woman looked defiant or unconcerned.

"Strength and speed on par with Superman, technology potentially rivaling or surpassing anything else on Earth, and heavily militarized, The Leviathan should be seen as extremely dangerous and still enough of an unknown to where we don't know if he will be a help or a hindrance to our efforts." Batman explained; Batman's statement punctuated in the background by the Green Lantern growling.

"His current known territory extends from Romania through Kasnia, where Princess Audrey has released reports that she is pleased with the development of her people. The Leviathan's only known ally is Kahndaq and its ruler Black Adam." Bruce explained, only to be interrupted by Wonder Woman.

"As well as Themyscira." Wonder Woman added with a simple gesture and a regal look.

"What?" Green Lantern exploded from his seat with a yell, only to have Hawkgirl rest a hand on John Stewart's shoulder and guide the Green Lantern back into his seat.

"And Themyscira." Batman added with a bit of a frown while he continued. "Original dimension also unknown, expected force size in the millions and heavily armed. Currently the United Nations has fully recognized and dropped all sanctions on the Empire of The Leviathan and countries are inviting the opening of embassies in their territory. The main export of the Empire is currently produce and food and is the largest reason for the decrease in our need for involvement in food shipments of humanitarian relief." Batman explained, and many of the heroes and heroines in the room took on contemplative looks, while Wonder Woman let slip a tiny smirk.

"The Leviathan has repeatedly stated that he is not interested in expansion, however there are mixed views on whether his relatively recent violent actions in Kaznia and Romania were justified or not." Batman described, but was interrupted by the Green Lantern.

"He's a murder." The Green Lantern growled.

Wonder Woman immediately jumped to The Leviathan's defense, "He is a warrior defending his people." She spat back.

"Quiet!" Superman interjected with a yell, all eyes sweeping away from the glaring match between Green Lantern and Wonder Woman to focus on the Kryptonian. "Though we don't agree with all of his methods, The Leviathan has the law on his side and is recognized and supported by the majority of the people on this planet." Kal-El stated firmly as he looked around, catching and holding the eyes of Green Lantern and Hawkgirl before looking around at the rest of the heroes.

"Until such time as he steps out of line I plan on treating him just like we would any other country's duly appointed President or Prime Minister. The people have decided to support The Leviathan, and he is insanely popular in not only his own Empire but has been deemed justified in his actions by the court of public opinion throughout the world." Superman explained with a simple gesture of his hand.

"The people are sheep!" Green Lantern groused angrily.

Superman turned and glared at Green Lantern, "John, might I remind you what happens when we take that belief to its fullest extent and make the people follow our lead? We are not the Justice Lords, and as a Green Lantern you should remember that you are basically a galactic police officer, not a judge, jury and executioner." Kal-El finished strongly, staring the Green Lantern down until the man nodded in grudging acceptance.

"Batman, please continue." Superman prompted, gesturing for Batman to continue.

"Unfortunately, that's about all I have to share at this time regarding The Leviathan." Batman stated before pressing a few buttons that had villains flipping through the screen before stopping on a picture of the bald and smirking Lex Luthor on the screen. "There are some hints that Lexcorp may have been responsible for supplying the weapons for the raid on Romania that was publicized to the world." Batman explained, and now it was Superman's turn to grind his teeth.

"Still, the United Nations subcommittee that did an investigation found the evidence circumstantial, as only the labeling on the weapons as displayed from the video was available. The Empire of the Leviathan is claiming that they are also running an investigation and that the matter will be handled internally." Batman detailed what little was known to have leaked out of the closed country.

"This finishes the portion on known threats, and leads us to the category of unknown individuals who are potentially new heroes on the scene." Batman explained.

"In the United States we have a new teenaged hero calling himself Static Shock fighting crime in his home town, and we have a tale coming out of Turkey about a thwarted terrorist attack." Batman stated as a picture of an African American teen surfing on a manhole cover was followed by a picture from the Istanbul Times; both were broadcast on the holographic screen. "This is the picture of the unknown vigilante who thwarted the attack in Istanbul, as you can see he is doing so a little more violently than we normally do things." Batman gestured to the picture of Xander literally disarming the terrorist, the detonator switch and dangling wires hanging from the severed arm that was clasped in Xander's grasp.

"Alexander Harris!" Wonder Woman exclaimed as she jumped from her seat and marched out of her chair to look at the image more closely.

Batman's eyebrow rose, "What? Do you know this man?" He questioned.

Wonder Woman glared at the picture, and the turned with a frown to Batman while gesturing towards the picture. "Yes, this is the man who I found at that temple in India. Somehow he was able to lie while under the power of my lasso, and tricked me into letting him leave." She finished, returning to glare at the picture.

"This is the multi-armed being who stopped the riot? Is he collecting limbs and adding them to his body?" Batman inquisitively asked, not joking in any way as he had seen weirder things during his own crime fighting.

"No, he only had two arms when I saw him, and there was white paint everywhere. I'm more worried about the fact that he was able to lie while under the control of an artifact forged by the gods. Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure if he gave me his real name." Wonder Woman made a cutting motion with her hand to stress the answer as a negative. She bit her lip in thought while one of her hands opened and closed in a fist while she thought deeply, walking around the hologram as if to examine the two dimensional newspaper image from all angles.

"I've read the report, and he was dressed as Shiva when he was in India. Are you sure that it was the same man? Could he really have been Shiva, or some sort of shape shifter?" Superman asked, always on the lookout for individuals with the potential to actually hurt him, especially since this Alexander had been able to overcome the power of Wonder Woman's magical lasso.

Wonder Woman briefly looked over her shoulder at Kal-El for a moment while thinking, before shaking her head. "I just don't know. There was so much white paint there that I don't think he was really Shiva… but then again he was able to negate the power of the lasso, so I just don't know for sure." She finished with a frown before returning to her seat.

It was silent in the room as the heroes quietly contemplated the individual.

Finally Batman spoke, "Well, this image had to be scanned in from a hard copy version of the Istanbul Times, as The Oracle was witness to the electronic copies of it being erased from all known digital locations. Whoever this Alexander Harris is, he has some interesting friends or powers and has been described as incredibly fast. He is a mystery for right now." Batman explained with a shrug as he tried to figure out if he could ascertain any of this Alexander's weaknesses in the case the individual became a problem.

The Black Canary chimed in with a question from one of the back rows of heroes in the room, "Is there any chance that he could be magical? That could explain his ability to shape shift, move incredibly fast, and disappear in mid step."

The combined population of heroes in the room all turned to stare incredulously at the blonde super heroine in the tight black leotard and fishnet stockings.

Black Canary turned to look at all of the people staring at her and frowned, "What? Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean I'm not smart or that I don't pay attention to the details in the reports." She finished with a glare and crossed her arms across her chest angrily.

All of the heroes quickly averted their attention back to Batman for the answer, as he was noted as the world's best detective.

Batman rubbed his chin deep in thought for a moment before slowly speaking, "It has merit, but we can't know for sure until we check. Unfortunately Dr. Fate has been indisposed of recent, and Zatanna was called home on family business. We won't know until we can talk to our experts on magic."

The other heroes all looked at each other before focusing back on the main heroes who ran the Justice League.

Superman interjected his thoughts, "Well from what we've seen so far, his methods may be somewhat questionable, but his heart is in the right place if he is protecting the population. I suggest we keep a look out for this Alexander Harris, he may be a potential invitee for the Justice League, but there is no telling where he may show up next."

With that, the heroes nodded and went on to discuss other business.

* * *

It was the ninth of April 1999, a third of the way through the climbing season on Mt. Everest, which just meant that it was the only time of the year where the temperatures and weather allowed people to somewhat survive the ascent up its slopes. That said, the climb was insanely difficult, and over the years hundreds of well trained and well equipped individuals had still died even though the climbing season was considered the 'warm period' in northern Nepal.

Oliver Queen's breath frosted over the inside of his oxygen mask as every heavy frozen step seemed to shudder through his body as he continued to ascend the mountain. One time Mayor of the northern Californian metropolitan Star City, billionaire playboy, owner of Queen Industries, and alter ego of hero The Green Arrow, Oliver Queen was in the midst of a climb up Mt. Everest in the Himalaya Mountains. Along with his band of merry Sherpas, Oliver was on a charitable climb up the world's tallest mountain, and for every foot of elevation he conquered donors had pledged money towards vaccination and mosquito netting for the children of South Eastern Asia.

Oliver was only at around the 27,000 foot mark and he already felt like he was about to die as the high altitude left him gasping and the cold seemed to cut right through his heavy duty parka. Even though he was an incredibly fit man, with the acrobatic and athletic skills beyond most Olympic athletes, he was still sucking wind and he felt that his heart was going to pop out of his chest.

'_It's for the children, think of the children, it's for the children.'_ Oliver thought to himself repeatedly with every struggling step up the mountain. The rasping hiss of his oxygen tank was the constant sound in his ears, along with his pounding heart beat and rasping breaths that struggled to pull in the cold oxygen infused Nepalese air. Other than the sound of his own body struggling to conquer the mountain, the only sound besides the wind had been the sound of the trudging Sherpas that were with him.

Behind him in a line were the several Sherpas who were making the trip with him, and at this altitude even they were feeling the strain of the climb as they slowly threaded up a narrow track one after the other while digging in their climbing sticks and ice climbing boots in order to keep a strong footing.

It was a hard slog up the mountain, and it was very easy to get disorientated or even start hallucinating due to the mix of cold, low oxygen, and high altitude. That is why Oliver started to get a bit worried when he thought he started to hear music breezing by in the wind.

A few steps more, and Oliver stopped to make sure that his oxygen tank still had enough gas in it and that he wasn't hallucinating.

"dun… dun dun dun… dun dun dun…" Issued quietly in the distance and was carried by on the breeze.

Oliver slowly turned to look quizzically at the Sherpas behind him. Between gasping breaths he haltingly questioned, "Does *gasp* anybody else *gasp* hear music?"

The Sherpas all looked amongst each other, and then back at Oliver with their oxygen mask covered faces.

"Dun…dun dun dun… dun dun dun…" The definite sounds of some sort of bass music with a pounding beat started to get louder, and all of the Sherpas nodded in agreement to Oliver.

Then as one they turned to look down the slope of the mountain to where a corner of rock blocked off a view of the back trail. And the music got louder and louder until they could start to hear somebody actually singing along to it in a really bad falsetto voice.

First quietly, but growing louder they heard, "It's the, Eye of the Tiger, it's the cream of the fight, Risin' up to the challenge of our rival. And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night, And he's watchin' us all! In the eye of the tiger!" The voice finished hitting a high note that had all of Oliver Queen's climbing group cringing as well as worrying that it might inspire an avalanche.

Around the corner and up the trail towards them jogged a man in a heavy black parka and climbing pants and boots, but without an oxygen mask. The man had a big goofy smile on his face, frozen boogers hanging from his nose, and was barely panting at all in the cold thin air while singing along to the theme song to one of the Rocky movies, The Eye of the Tiger.

The Sherpas and Oliver stared slack jawed behind their masks as the man approached them quickly, music from some sort of hidden speakers continuing to play from somewhere in the man's outfit.

"On your right." Xander called out cheerfully with a wave as he made no move to slow down his quick effortless jog up the world's tallest mountain.

Oliver and the Sherpas silently pressed themselves back against the mountain without really thinking about it, giving the man a bit of space to pass them.

"Morning, morning, top of the morn'n to ya." Xander quipped with a jaunty little wave as he passed the three Sherpas and greeted each of them like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Great day for a run." Xander said cheerfully to Oliver as he passed by and continued on his way up the mountain as easily as a man going for a morning jog in the Californian suburbs.

Oliver and the Sherpas all stared wide eyed after the figure who once again continued to sing as he disappeared up the mountain.

Oliver Queen was stunned, so not knowing what else to do he started to slowly climb the mountain again.

Looking at each other, the Sherpas all shook their heads and thought the same thought, _'Tourists.'_

* * *

In regards to mountains, back in Romania not every mountain had been hollowed out into one giant catacomb for growing great tracks of crop bearing land, rare ecological systems, or scientific testing facilities. In one of those carved out mountainous peaks, not far from the former Arcane Mansion, sat Xander's university for magical studies. The Arcanic University of the Leviathan was the facility that not only held all of the magical artifacts salvaged from Dracula's Castle and Arcane Manor, but was also the place where the magical citizens of the Empire could gather.

Over the last couple days the Arcanic University had played witness to an influx of Middle Eastern Magi and sorcerers from Bialya and Kahndaq whom had started to join the mix of Gypsies and other magic users. Xander's home grown population not only included the gypsies, but there were also many other magic users who had been in and around Romania and Kaznia before Xander had taken over those countries. The thought was that just because magic and Xander had an ongoing feud with each other didn't mean that Xander hadn't see magic as a viable resource and one worth fostering and researching. It would have been impossible for Xander to ignore the power of magic, what with one of his major allies, Black Adam, being a magically empowered being. Add to that the fact that Xander had spent the first fifteen years of his life living on a magical entrance to hell, and well, even the fact that Xander didn't like magic let him grudgingly admit that it was powerful. Besides, Xander was all about building up defenses against his weaknesses, and magic rated up there in the category of things that could make Xander's day take a turn from good to poopy in a heartbeat.

Throughout the University lay libraries, laboratories, and even a large glassed-in room that allowed people to have open access to the starlight and moonlight in case the spell the magic users were working on called for certain astrological conditions. Deep in the lower levels of the University lay the runic chambers, used for summoning and spell work, and they were well protected by wards and inscribed words and runes of power.

It was in one of these rooms that Cassandra and Janna were learning as Magda used her granddaughter's assistance in order to attempt magics that were on a level far above the two younger girls' level of ability.

The room glowed with an eerie green light, a light that bounced and reflected off of the cold iron inscribed runes embedded in the walls and dome, lighting the room enough for the three girls to work. They sat on a sort of stone precipice, shaped like half of a bridge as it dangled out over a pool of bubbling green fluid known only as a Lazarus Pit.

"Close your eyes and extend your senses to the power around you." Magda stated; sitting Indian style on a rug that was situated at the very edge of the outcropping of rock over the pit, her back to the drop off into the green fluid.

Before Magda sat Cassy and Janna, in similar seated poses, their eyes were closed and the almost shimmering light of the room casting dancing green lit shadows on their serene faces.

"The pool is both water and fire, life and death, and as the ley line flows beneath us it filters up until the very air is charged with the elements of nature and the universe." Magda said, and with a slight wave of her hands, the very air in the room seemed to come alive with almost the feeling of electricity dancing across their skin. The light fuzzy hairs on the back the girls' arms seemed to tingle as the air was charged with the magic of the room, of the pit, of the ley lines that flowed beneath the University.

"Cassy, keep your eyes closed and delve into your inner fire, that flickering light which you meditated on as a child." Magda directed her newest granddaughter in calling upon the elements.

Cassy looked like she was struggling to focus, a bead of sweat trickled down her brow as she focused on Magda's words and tried to comply.

"Feel the fire in the Earth beneath us. It is in the fluid of the pit, it bubbles up and heats the world from deep within." Magda continued, her words almost sending the young girl into a trance as Cassy started to picture the fire. "Feel the heat, become it and imagine its uses. It evaporates water, it melts stone, it burns the air." She continued in a voice that carried over its ideas straight into Cassy's mind.

Slowly ethereal flickers of green ghostly flame seamed to float up from the Lazarus Pit, passing through the stone floor and starting to twist around Cassy.

"Good, hold it, form it into the representation of fire within you, child." Magda stated with her eyes closed and a smile passing her lips as even with her eyes shut Magda saw the green ghostly flames slowly form into the twisting shape of a Chinese dragon that twisted and twined itself around Cassy, playfully swirling and wrapping around Cassandra as it moved.

"Hold it child and continue to focus on it, let the stone beneath us, the earth beneath us, ground you in yourself and allow you to control the magic." Magda directed before turning her head towards where she knew Janna was seated.

"Janna, feel the moisture in the air, the water of the world that wears away stone, extinguishes flame and cleanses the sky with its rain." Magda's voice took on a lilting quality to it as she directed her eldest granddaughter on how to call up the element of water.

"Remember swimming, remember the ocean. Pull up the water from where it exists below and around us and claim it as your own." The Elder Woman of the Kalderash Clan commanded.

Janna silently complied with a shiver as the moisture in the air congealed as droplets of water around her, chilling the air as they formed into first little drops and then slowly turned into some sort of elemental water serpent. Like some mythological monster of the deeps it twined around Janna and seemed to frolic through her long dark hair as if it was diving through waves on the ocean.

Janna smiled with her eyes remaining closed, and all three women sat quietly as Magda internally called upon the power of air.

Magda did not need the step by step instructions in order to embrace the element, nor did she really need the girls' help, but it was her role as The Elder Woman to teach the next generations.

A whisper of wind grew into a billow which grew into a wind that danced and played with Magda's grey hair and black silk robe like some sort of invisible genie, and Magda's smile slipped away as she grew serious.

Words of power spilled out of the elder woman's mouth, words of languages not spoken lightly from languages thought long dead, and while she spoke her hands seemed to make grabbing motions towards the two girls before her fingers twitched expertly as if she was threading or braiding a rope.

With their eyes closed, the girls did not see it, but their elementals slipped away from their shoulders and started to dance in the air above their heads. First fire dancing with water, then water with air, followed by air with fire. The speed of the dancing elementals continued as they twined and wrapped around each other as if some great knot was being formed, for in reality that is exactly was what was being woven.

Round and round, in and out, over and about the elements spun in the space above the women's heads as if forming some sort of loop or endless knot where one end of the serpent met its tail while twined with its partner spirits.

Finally the climax of the spell drew near, as Magda's words built in power and volume while the spirits danced faster, floating to be above the pit and just at the edge of the stone precipice, as if one could walk up and step out into nothing through the circle formed by the swirling spirits.

"Now!" Magda stated, and as one the three women opened their eyes and turned to look at the dancing spirits.

Cassy's eyes danced bright green with flickering flames, Janna's the blue of the Caribbean before becoming storm washed seas, and Magda's the bright shining white that they always were as all three turned to look at the spirits and were briefly blinded by an incredible flash of light.

Blinking, the three women cleared the tears from their eyes caused by the flash of light and looked to where the spirits had been dancing.

Where before had been an unhindered drop off into the Lazarus Pit, now stood a stone arch with three gold dragons or serpents etched and twined around the sides of the rocky arch; the eyes of one golden dragon set with blue sapphires, another with green emeralds, and the third with sparkling diamonds. In the middle of the arch spun a colorful fog.

Magda smiled and exclaimed happily, "Excellent girls, and now we have our dimensional portal to connect back with Xander's realm."

Both Cassy and Janna smiled and gave each other a one armed hug as they continued to stare at what they had just created.

Magda stood, her old bones creaking as she pushed herself up to a standing position before the arch and braced her hand against the black stonework that represented the element of earth and which anchored the portal in place.

"I call upon the spirits to connect me to my equal, to The Elder Woman Kalderash of the realm where the ruler of this land harkens from." Magda stated authoritatively, and the colors in the portal started to spin until a head and face started to become clear.

Janna and Cassy smiled on as the face grew clearer and clearer, only to frown when the face finally became distinct enough to see exactly who or what they had connected with.

"I'm sorry, the Dimension you are trying to call has been disconnected or is out of order. Please hang up and don't try again." The smirking floating head of Mister Mxyzptlk, the fifth dimensional imp, chuckled from within the smoky mirror's surface.

"You." Magda spat angrily.

"Yep, me baby face." Mxyzptlk stated with a doff of his little blue hat with the daisy on it, before putting it back on his head and smirking. "I'm sorry, but I made it quite clear to Alexander that I didn't want him getting distracted with his old dimension." The Imp stated with a growing smirk that left Magda and the other two girls impotently furious.

Looking from each girl to the next, the Imp continued while scrunching up his nose, "I might not be able to stop his pals from powering through a spell into this dimension, but I dang toot'n can make sure that he and his can't get messages or what's-its back to old Sunnydale and that nasty little power vortex that the locals call a hellmouth. Brrr, nasty dimensional vibrations that place has." The imp gave a visible shiver and made a face as if he had eaten something that didn't agree with him for a moment.

"Nope, no siree." The Imp stated, now with another smirk and a shaking of his head. "You ladies won't be distracting Xander from focusing on this here dimension. Why, I haven't had this much fun since the time I turned the Daily Planet building into a walking talking being with the people still inside of it. Oh those were the days, such fun and games with Superman." Mxyzptlk said, looking like he was deep in thought remembering good old days of yore.

Magda, Janna, and Cassy all just frowned at the fifth dimensional being. Xander had discussed the reason why he hadn't tried to get back home and he, his family, and minions, had tried to come up with a contingency plan for dealing with Mister Mxyzptlk, only to fail thus far. It was grudgingly agreed that until the imp grew bored with them or they could somehow barter a change in the situation with Mxyzptlk, then it was best to just humor the being and not make the situation any worse than it already was.

"Well then, you ladies take care and all that rot. Tally ho, pip pip, adieu, and so long!" The imp said with a jaunty wave and a wink.

With that, the dimensional portal returned to swirling smoke, and a very pissed off Magda marched silently out of the room, followed also in silence by Cassy and Janna.

* * *

"I'm on top of the World!" Xander yelled into the wind as he reached the top of Mount Everest and just enjoyed the view from the tippy top of the world's tallest peak.

Looking around, Xander smiled to himself, "Eat that Principal Snyder! You said I'd never amount to anything, and now look, Ha, I'm on the top of a mountain. How's that for amounting something?" Xander laughed aloud, only to pause and then cringe as he looked around quickly.

"Wow, maybe I've been by myself for too long. That pun was of the deadly variety." Xander said to himself, sort of relieved that nobody had been around to hear him make a fool of himself.

Finished checking the vicinity for anybody who would take umbrage at him cracking a not-so-funny pun, Xander again smiled to himself and decided to see about getting to the mysterious end destination as quickly as possible.

Smirking to himself, Xander crouched down before exploding in an amazing leap towards the neighboring mountain peak that was a minimum of a couple miles away.

"WHEEEEEEEE!" Xander yelled in joy as he spun his arms and kicked his legs like he was running in the air.

Looking down, he saw the figures of the hikers he had passed a while ago looking up at him, so Xander waved as he disappeared towards the peak to the west.

Mount Everest was actually a good distance to the east of where his digital map told him he was supposed to be, as in he had traveled out of his way to climb the world's tallest mountain.

As Xander allowed gravity to claim him and start to pull him back towards the earth, he smiled and mentally activated his nano-clothing to go into full armor mode; sealing his body over in the black armored weave that protected him from physical harm.

"Cannon ball!" Xander shouted as he saw a large snowy glacier coming into view, and right into the path of where he was going to land.

Tucking his knees to his chest, Xander wrapped his arms around his legs right before he impacted with the glacier in an explosion of flying snow, ice, and stone.

The sound of the "KABOOOM!" echoed back and forth off of the surrounding mountains as a billow of snow and ice showered down on the area surrounding Xander's impact.

Floating out of crater that he had left in the side of the mountain, Xander smirked to himself as his Heads Up Display inside his helmet told him that he had crossed the border from Nepal into the Tibetan region of the People's Republic of China.

Getting ready to take off into the air to fly the remaining distance, Xander was startled by a warning symbol flashing an alert on his helmet, stating that his satellite system of little clanks had located a nearby incoming threat. Xander followed his instincts by activating his chameleon system and quickly blurred in a run up the angle of the mountain till he hit the ridgeline above the impact creator. Where he ducked down behind the ridge until he could look over it while remaining still and blending into his background.

Xander didn't have a long wait to figure out what the potential threat was, as a black and purplish red alien-looking fighter craft zipped out of the lower canyons between the mountains, skimming the slopes at an incredible speed before swinging towards the crater Xander had made, only to instantly zip to a hovering halt right above the hole in the glacier.

'_Immortal-Man-in-Darkness and the Dragonwing!'_ Xander thought with a raised eyebrow as he remembered exactly what that black stealth looking fighter aircraft was. Xander was looking at one of the members of China's super hero defenders, and he watched as the Dragonwing jet slowly pivoted in a circle, as if scanning the surroundings.

Xander's eyes got large and he quickly ducked behind the ridge and activated his energy absorption shield in addition to his chameleon camouflage, hoping that the absorption ability of his shield would protect him from whatever mix of alien and Chinese technology was in the fighter craft used to protect China's territory.

Focusing on the direct beam image that Xander was getting from the satellite clank overhead in space, Xander watched as the living fighter craft slowly pivoted and then circled the hole in the side of the mountain before slowly picking up speed and flying off; the jet seemed to effortlessly twist and turn through the tight mountain canyons before disappearing from sight.

'_That guy is freaking nuts.'_ Xander thought to himself about the Immortal-Man-In-Darkness who was the pilot of the Dragonwing. Sure it was beyond state of the art for Earth technology, and sure it could kick major ass. But every flight that a pilot flew in it the Jet fighter literally took a year off the pilot's life span until the pilot was nothing but a soup of liquefied human slop. The Dragonwing was alive, and it eventually ate its pilot.

Xander slowly slipped down the back slope of the mountain towards the west, trying to leave the scene of his entrance into China without being noticed.

'_And I thought Ampata the mummy girl was bad, but at least there was the possibility of sex with a girl.'_ Xander continued to ponder what made a pilot willing to get into a plane that would eat him alive. '_I mean come on, I like flying just as much as the next person with super powers, but you don't see me building a space fighter that bathes its pilot in industrial grade stomach acids. I might be insane, but I'm not crazy… or wait, is it I might be crazy, but I'm not insane?' _Xander just finished with a shake of his head to clear the conundrum before he concentrated on getting the heck out of there.

Xander slipped over another ridge in a blur, both due to his speed as well as the chameleon suit. The camouflage system didn't work that well when traveling at high speed, as even Xander's computer systems struggled to deal with the number of images that it needed to examine and project as he ran at super speeds across the terrain. Still, most of the background was grey or white due to the amount of stone, ice and snow on the slopes that he sprinted across. Xander was fortunately not seen by the high-tech member of China's Great Ten hero team as the mixes of grays and whites of the background still allowed Xander to blend in, even if it wasn't a perfect image blending.

Reaching the base level of the hilly Tibetan plateau, Xander skirted the edge of the Himalayan Mountains at incredible groundspeeds as he made his way towards his target peak, valley, or whatever it was at the end coordinates. Even as he was getting closer, his sensors in his armor still couldn't pick up a sign of anything of interest in the direction he was headed, nor could his satellite clanks pinpoint anything besides an almost endless wall of ice on a mountainside.

Giving himself a mental shrug while turning off his shield system, Xander's mapping technology told him that he was at the base of the mountain that he would need to climb in order to reach his end destination.

Xander looked up the steep slope above him and noted how the mountain was shrouded in clouds, looking like interlaced layers of wispy fingers that together blocked all view of what lay above him.

"Going up, first floor woman's clothing, second floor, men's shoes…" Xander chirped to himself as he floated slowly up and into the clouds, counting the imaginary department store floors he was floating up along the steep slope of the mountain and into the clouds.

Entering the clouds blocked out Xander's vision, and he flipped through infrared, sonar and x-ray vision systems in order to pierce the cloud cover, but still he didn't really see anything as he proceeded to rise higher and higher.

"Third floor Bedding and household goods, fourth little girls and boys clothing, and fifth floor… Holy Nikola Tesla's Coils Batman, it's a city!" Xander's humorous 'elevator' ride was interrupted as the clouds around him suddenly disappeared like fog on a sunny day and Xander stopped floating upwards. Xander's exclamation was caused by him being stunned still by the view of tall gates and buildings behind a massive stone wall; all of which were situated across a seemingly bottomless pit with a long rope bridge spanning its width.

Xander's jaw dropped as he turned around to look below him and behind him. There were no clouds to be seen and he had a perfect view of the sun shining down on the hidden city.

Closing his jaw, and rubbing his chin, Xander gave a "Hmmm" and floated about fifteen feet down again.

Sure enough, the moment he finished dropping ten feet down, he found himself suddenly covered by clouds. Floating back upwards again found Xander back in the bright sunlight looking at the city with its towers and Chinese looking gates with the overly large crossbeam. The city looked like the Shaolin temple right out of the television show Kung Fu with David Carradine, but only this looked like a Shaolin temple that was mixed with the shrines in Kyoto Japan and the sculpted temples of Cambodia or Thailand.

'_No,'_ Xander thought to himself reverently, as he suddenly felt that such a place deserved such feelings of reverence for some unknown reason. '_This is what those other places are modeled after, what they are all seeking to portray. This is the pinnacle, and those are the copies.'_ Xander finished thinking to himself with a little nod.

Xander stood floating in midair, just examining the city and its architecture for several minutes deep in thought, letting his mind wander for a few minutes before slowly drawing back into himself and giving himself a shake to pull his attention to focus on the real world.

Smiling, Xander verbally ordered, "Jarvis, connect me through to Igor at the Castle."

"Yes Sir, connecting." Jarvis's voice replied inside Xander's helmet.

Xander waited. Then Xander waited some more. By this point Xander was frowning.

At the twenty five second mark Jarvis finally answered Xander's unasked question, "I'm sorry sir, but I am unable to connect to the Castle, and my queries to the satellite system is going unanswered. I believe our signal is being blocked somehow. Please do forgive me Sir."

Xander ignored the reply of the AI as he rubbed his chin in thought, looking out at the view from the mountain when the clouds were clear as compared to what the weather was really like when he looked out from the bottom of the mountain. When he was at the bottom of the mountain, then it was still covered in snow and ice and windy, but up at the level of the hidden city it was definitely warmer and the view from the break in the clouds showed a cloudless sky and a warm sun. If one could see Xander's face through his helmet and camouflage system, they would have noticed when he had his gestalt moment and the smile grew across his face.

"Time transference pocket." Xander muttered to himself before questioning his AI. "Jarvis, what does your internal clock say?"

"The time now is twelve oh five in the afternoon sir." Jarvis replied resolutely.

Xander smirked and lowered himself back another fifteen feet, back into the suddenly appearing cloud cover in order to test his hypothesis on whether he had guessed correctly as to the name of the city on the mountain.

"Jarvis, see if you can ping the satellite system and get a fix from the atomic clock. What time is it now?" Xander asked, guessing that he knew what the answer would be.

Jarvis was quiet for a several moments, "I'm sorry sir, but this does not compute well, but somehow my internal clocks must be off. The time now is eleven fifty eight in the morning, shortly before your lunch time Sir."

Xander's smile grew across his face and he replied with a shake of his head, "No worries Jarvis, it's not you, it's time that's screwed up. That city, if I don't miss my guess, is Nanda Parbat. Think of it like Shangri La from fiction. Anyway, time moves differently there than it does in the rest of the world. Just create a new time zone N localized for Nanda Parbat and allow it to run at whatever the time difference we experience, that way you shouldn't have any Y2N problems with your internal clock circuits. That place is basically caught out of time and time passes in there while it only crawls slowly out here comparatively, no wonder I couldn't connect with the Castle." Xander finished his statement more to himself than to his trusty sidekick AI.

Still floating in the clouds below the level of the city, Xander queried, "Connect to Igor and the Castle please."

"Connecting." Jarvis answered, and there was a beep sound before Igor answered.

"Yes Sir, how may I help you." Igor spoke as his face appeared on one portion of Xander's helmet heads up display.

"Good afternoon Igor, what are you up to? I'm right outside the end destination from Magda's vision. The city of Nanda Parbat. Please put it on the secure map system." Xander responded with a smile.

"Very well Sir. As for what I was doing, it is night here Sir, and I was just about to retire to bed. As you are now on the line with me Sir, would you like a briefing on the current list of items for your discretion?" Igor questioned, stoically as always. A stoic Igor was the one that Xander preferred, as his Chief minion had definite blood thirsty traits.

Xander's smile grew larger and he replied, "Yes please. You always are good at giving me what I need Igor. I was just about to ask as when I enter Nanda Parbat I will be out of contact until I exit the time difference area."

"Very well Sir." Igor stated before his image seemed to look down off the screen, no doubt reviewing data from his computer pad that he carried around with him.

Igor pressed a button on his data pad and information scrolled across the other side of Xander's heads up display as Igor dictated to Xander what was going on.

"Our embassy's and consulate locations worldwide are in severe need of repair and remodeling as all official locations overseas have turned out to be heavily bugged and monitored by rival governments." Igor looked up at Xander and scowled, which meant that the situation was very dire if Igor was showing negative emotions. "The Embassy to the United States was especially bad as even the poured foundation and the metal struts of the building have been bugged to such an extent that the entire building has become one large microphone, picking up any vibration in the air and transferring it into sound that can then be recorded. We have tracked the signals to the United State's National Security Agency as well as the Cadmus Program, FBI and CIA. All in all there are over seven million bugs and monitoring devices planted in that building, and those are just the ones from the United States. We have tracked another million or so devices to other rival countries as well as several large corporations. RedTree has tapped into the corresponding databases that were gathering the information, and we are waiting your command on how to proceed."

A dark light seemed to shine from behind Xander's eyes and a sneer grew across his face. Sure the United States was where Xander was born and raised, but it wasn't like the system had ever really helped him or his friends out; not when his father was beating the shit out of him, and not when the Scoobies were fighting the things that go bump in the night. Add to that the fact that he had his people and followers to look after, and Xander was pissed off.

"Level the Embassy." Xander spat, before his sneer turned into a smirk, "Better yet, before you destroy the building capture all of the monitoring devices and catalog them all, along with the address of where the facility is that is doing the monitoring as well as the names of any individuals involved and their home addresses." Xander's smile became menacing, and Igor's growing smile mirrored his Master's.

"Ship the cataloged list and cross-referenced data to the President of the United State's office with a note from The Leviathan stating that we will be releasing all of the information to the world unless he approves our building of a new embassy. Such a simple request with a blank check to rebuild our facility shouldn't stress him out too much, not compared to the political pain he would face if his citizens found out we were going to not offer services to his citizens. Not to mention the release of information on his security personnel…" Xander continued with a smirk.

Igor quickly copied down Xander's order into the minion's data pad, looking down at his keyboard as he quickly noted what had to be done.

"Very well sir, and the design for the new embassy?" Igor asked after finishing putting in his notes and looked back up at Xander's image.

Xander's smirk grew even larger, "Set into construction design W-5. I want to have complete control over the entrance and exit of my new Embassy. Let's see them try and break into Castle Wulfenbach with it hovering thousands of feet off the ground." Xander finished with a dark look before cackling to himself. "Bwa ha ha ha. With my airship as my Embassy, then I will also have the perfect location for the next step in the Prince to a Pauper plan."

"Yes Sir, it will be done right away Sir." Igor responded with a bow to the screen. When the chief minion looked back at Xander and smiled, Igor added, "I'm sure Magda and Clan Kalderash will be glad to bring that unpleasantness to a rightful termination."

Both Xander and Igor smiled back at each other in silence for a moment.

Igor was the first to break the silence, his smile slipping from his face back into the guise of the proper chief minion and steward of Xander's growing empire, "Everything else is going well sir. How shall I contact you if you are needed while you are visiting Nanda Parbat, Sir?"

Xander tapped his chin in thought and then shrugged, "I'd really rather focus on what is going on here, but if you need me then I figure you will have to send somebody to fetch me. Make sure they have the ability to fly and send them to my current location. I'm just outside the boundary to the effect that hides the city, but I'm floating in the air." Xander finished with a hint of warning, he didn't want any of his minions or clanks plummeting to an untimely death. Not that death couldn't be fixed, but having to resurrect people or repair machines was a waste of experimentation time that could be used towards furthering Science.

"Very well sir, if there is nothing else?" Igor asked with the slight raise of an eyebrow.

Xander merely smiled and shook his head, "Nope, that'll do Igor. See ya when I see ya."

"Very well Sir, goodbye for now Sir." Igor stated with a bow, and the connection ended.

Xander smiled to himself, deactivate his camouflage system, and floated back into the space around the city of Nanda Parbat.

"Well then, let's find out what was so important that I had to run halfway across the world to get here." Xander mumbled to himself, and floated to the end of the long rope bridge before starting to walk across it towards the gates of Nanda Parbat.

* * *

Meanwhile in the real world, the lost tribe of Amazons were beyond angry, they were enraged. Those who had forsaken the Greek Gods and called themselves the Bana-Mighdall Amazons were named after their city Bana-Mighdall, which in their language meant "The Temple of Women." With their former city Bana-Mighdall destroyed, they wanted revenge. They wanted war, and they wanted land in retribution for that which had been stolen from them.

That isn't to say that the Bana-Mighdall Amazons didn't want war or revenge all the time. Quite the contrary actually as the reason they had separated from Hippolyta and the Amazons of Themyscira was that they disagreed with their sisters regarding the pursuit of peace. No, the Bana-Mighdall Amazons wanted war. Whereas the Amazons of Themyscira sought peace with Man's world, the Bana-Mighdall wanted to see Man's World and all men slaughtered or enslaved in revenge for what Hercules and his army of men had done to the woman in their ancient past.

Denying the Greek gods and their command to seek peace, the Bana-Mighdall Amazons had hidden themselves behind a magical sandstorm in the deep Sahara Dessert. There they had created weapons of war which they sold back to Man's World, in the hope that the weapons they forged would be used to spill the blood of men. They had sold their weapons, traded for enslaved men and for the supplies they needed, for unlike the Amazons on Paradise Island, the Bana-Mighdall Amazons were mortal and did not live forever unless killed. They needed men in order to continue their population, though no Bana-Mighdall Amazon would ever admit or agree with the statement that they "needed" men.

In this situation though, the hate of men was neither here nor there, for the Bana-Mighdall Amazon's anger was focused on their Amazonian sisters on Themyscira, and all because of Wonder Woman.

It was purely by accident on the part of Wonder Woman, but she had stumbled upon the lost tribe of Amazons while hunting for the villainess Cheetah. Stumbling upon the hidden city of Bana-Mighdall, Wonder Woman was attacked by the Bana-Mighdall champion, the Shim'Tar who was protecting the city. Soon an enraged Olympian god Hermes, who thought he was in love with Wonder Woman at the time, took vengeance on the desert Amazons for attacking his beloved, and the city of Bana-Mighdall was destroyed. It was decided by the remaining Amazons that since the Themyscirian princess was the initial cause of their city being destroyed, they would take over her Amazon city in lieu of their own.

The only voice of reason against waging war on her fellow Amazons was a young soon to be 16 year old teen named Artemis; an up and coming weapons master of the Bana-Mighdall Amazons who did not want to spill the blood of her sister tribe. Still, her voice was overpowered by the Witch, Circe, whose message caused the Bana-Mighdall Amazons' blood to boil and rage to grow.

For too long the Bana-Mighdall Amazons had been separated from their sisters on Themyscira. Their differences growing… Their loneliness turning to resentment… Their Envy turning to Rage. What Circe offered them, revenge, territory? It would never exactly be remembered what the Witch said in order to sway the lost tribe, but it worked.

The Bana-Mighdall Amazons still had traditions about the city of Themyscira, and still knew its secret vulnerabilities. Thus as night fell in the Caribbean Sea and the Amazons of Themyscira entered the sleeping realm of Morpheus, Circe teleported the Bana-Mighdall Amazons onto the island.

With sword and with spear, with dagger and shield, the slaughter began.

* * *

Inside the mystical field that surrounded and hid Nanda Parbat, time seemed to pass as normal, while out in the real world time barely crept along. It created in Nanda Parbat a sense of timelessness that no matter how much time was spent in meditation, introspection, or the uplifting of mind and spirit, that the real world and the ravages of time could not touch you while you enjoyed the peace of the hidden city. For every month or so that seemed to pass in Nanda Parbat, a day passed in the real world. Thus the rat race of the real world and the hustle and bustle of mortal life were left behind and ignored, if not quite forgotten, at Nanda Parbat's doorstep.

As Xander shouldered his backpack and walked across the teetering bridge, the ropes and old boards creaking and swaying as he crossed it, he looked forward as the gates drew nearer and larger in his perspective. Even the front wall of Nanda Parbat was impressive, with giant bronze gates with a decorative pattern of the wheel of life and the symbol of the city's patron goddess, Rama Kushna, emblazoned on a split circle down the middle of the two large doors.

Those doors creased and slid silently open as Xander neared the large portal into the city. As Xander stepped off the old rope bridge and onto the snow at the city's gate he was met by a short man with bald head, bare feet, and red and yellow robes.

"Greetings Alexander Harris, we expected you to arrive here, but not so soon." The monk of Nanda Parbat both greeted and mildly chastised Xander in crisp English yet with a Chinese accent. "It is said that it is better to travel well than to arrive… but I believe you may have already learned that lesson in your travels." The monk looked at Xander knowingly, and Xander couldn't tell whether the monk just making a statement filled with wisdom, or whether the monk was internally laughing at Xander, knowing about the happenstance after Xander's short cut to India.

Xander caused his armor to melt off his face, and he rubbed a black armored hand against the back of his neck while looking down and scuffing his foot at a clod of snow that was there, "Heh, yeah, um, let's just say that I learned my lesson about taking things one step at a time and traveling how I am supposed to." Xander quipped a bit disconcerted under the unblinking gaze of the monk.

Xander looked up, and the monk merely continued to stare at Xander for a long pause, before finally nodding and stepping inside the gate while issuing with a hand for Xander to follow.

"The foot feels the foot when the foot feels the ground." The monk acknowledged, and started walking down the large round stone cobbled path that led into the city.

Xander just looked around, feeling a weird mixture of peace and unease as he followed the monk into the city. Addressing his escort, Xander rubbed the back of his neck, trying to figure out what the monk had meant by his last statement, "Um yeah, uh, I never did very well with philosophy type stuff. I'm more of a science kind of guy. Is there any way you could explain what you just said in a way I'd understand?" Xander questioned.

The monk continued to lead the way into the city, the stone walls and path starting to break up and show glimpses of trees and gardens, ponds, paths, and white sandy expanses as they proceeded deeper into the city. The monk slowly looked over his shoulder at Xander and smiled a small smile before looking forward again, "We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world. That is all you need to think about and concentrate on for now, as Rama Kushna has drawn you here to teach you a lesson about that which is in you. I do not know what the lesson is, but I was instructed to tell you to contemplate that 'We are what we think, including the world around us.'" The monk answered before leading Xander around a corner of a place where four stone paths intersected. Up ahead, Xander heard the sound of bare feet slapping on rocks and the quiet whisper of fabric shuffling and snapping of thick cloth as bodies moved.

Xander was deep in thought, trying to figure out what the monk meant by his statement about the whole "We are what we think" and about the whole arising and making the world thing. Xander still didn't understand why he had been called or directed to come to the city. However he knew there was a reason for it, so decided to keep an open mind about what the monks wanted to teach him.

It felt a bit odd that the monk knew who Xander was and was trying to teach him a lesson, without Xander even being introduced to the guy. Heck, Xander hadn't even been given a name for the monk. Still, Xander knew that an actual goddess literally looked over this city and directed the monks. Xander wasn't about to discredit the directions by a goddess, not when it wasn't uncommon for gods and goddesses in the DC comic book universe to literally smite down their foes or people who pissed them off. Plus, given Xander's experiences with mystical forces, higher dimensional beings, and a past life on the hellmouth, well Xander wasn't too terribly worried about the monk knowing about him or trying to lead Xander to some new discovery. Everything seemed innocent enough if a bit too Zen for Xander's normal tastes.

Xander merely followed along silently, his superior sense of hearing letting him know that they were drawing nearer to what sounded like a large group of humans doing some sort of coordinated effort together on the stone pavement.

Taking another turn and stepping through the entrance into what looked like a courtyard; Xander saw that his sense of hearing and his guess hadn't led him wrong.

Before Xander were row upon row of bare footed, bald headed monks dressed in loose red and yellow pants and shirts. As one they were doing a kata of some sort, step block, sweep back, turn and draw the fist up and above the shoulder, spear hand sweep as foot slaps down to block an imaginary kick. Xander paused inside the entrance to the courtyard and smiled at the grace of movement of the men, and the almost tangible feeling of peace that seemed to issue from the monks doing their motions. For a moment, for only a brief moment, the ever present voices in Xander's head paused and were silent, and for the first time since that fateful night when he inherited the Spark and was cast into this dimension, Xander felt his mind come to rest.

The moment was fleeting however, and soon the voices started chatting again. The Primal discussing the fighting style and calling it a pansy effort at fighting as it was purely defensive. The Heterodyne persona examining the body mechanics of the monks and talking about creating ninja clanks. The little voice of Xander's libido was looking through centerfolds of Xander's memories of nights with DC universe hotties that Xander had slept with and talking to himself about harems, while the voice of insanity was chewing bubblegum and blowing large floating bubbles that had kittens frolicking inside of them. The other smattering of voices and inner psyche were busy also, but that was normal these days in the confines of Xander's mind.

Xander just shook his head as he had missed something that the monk had said to him.

"I'm sorry, I missed what you said. What was that?" Xander asked, looking down at the shorter man who stood next to Xander.

"I said that your armor will not be needed here, and the temperature is quite nice. Would you like to change into something more fitting for the environs?" The monk repeated, looking up at Xander who was still covered from the neck down in his black solid body armor with the leather looking backpack on Xander's back.

Xander looked down at the monk, then at the other monks all going through the martial arts routine, before smiling and shrugging to the monk standing in the doorway next to him. With a thought, Xander's armor shimmered and took on the image of the shirt and shorts that the monks wore, only Xander's was all black.

"Sure, why not. When in Nanda Parbat, do as the pandas do… um, that didn't make sense." Xander started, only to end up confusing himself. Looking at the monk, Xander tried to explain, "I was trying to make a statement kind of like when in Rome and do like Romans, but uh, um… I'll shut up now."

The monk had just stared blankly up at Xander through his rambling, and continued to stare blankly at Xander after Xander shut up and started to blush a bit.

Finally the monk looked forward towards the ranks of the monks repeating the same kata over again. With a brief wave of his hand, the monk guiding Xander through the city gestured towards the action in front of them. "Perhaps you would like to join in the exercises. We will have lunch after they are done. Go, stand in the last rank and follow the motions of those around you." The monk stated, simply expecting Xander to comply before walking away from Xander.

Xander's eyebrow rose as he watched his escort walk away. Looking around and not seeing much of an option to talk to anybody or learn anything else besides the kata, Xander shrugged and did as the monk suggested.

Shrugging off his backpack and laying it to the side, Xander joined the back row before haltingly following along at first. It took a few motions, but very quickly Xander allowed his arms and legs to start to move slowly in pace with the graceful monks. His speed increased, and the knowledge that Xander had gained from Cassy kicked in, allowing Xander's instincts to take over and guide him through following the motions in line with the monks of Nanda Parbat.

'_He he, do as the pandas do.'_ Xander's twisted sense of humor chuckled in Xander's mind.

Xander merely shook his head and followed along with the monks, and slowly but surely he lost himself in the motions and felt the slightest bit of chaos in his mind come under control.

* * *

Martial arts and exercises were followed by a midday meal which Xander partook of with the monks in silence. It wasn't that Xander had sworn an oath of silence, it was just that nobody talked as they sat in a large room eating together, so it was hard to strike up a conversation. Besides, Xander's first form of 'self-defense' had been the art of Slacker-Fu; the primary weapon of which was blending in with the crowd and not drawing attention to yourself. That way you avoided being volunteered for such things like taking kids trick-or-treating; not to say that Xander was a master of Slacker-Fu, judging by his being forced to take kids trick-or-treating. Still, in true Xander fashion he put on his persona of 'just one of the gang' and followed along with the monks.

A gong sounded, ending the simple meal of fish, vegetables and rice; all harvested and grown from the crops and ponds in the large hidden city.

A different monk came to guide Xander, well ok Xander thought it was a different monk, but in reality they all kind of looked the same to Xander. Anyway, Xander went with the flow and followed the monk who led him to a secluded garden.

The garden trail went off of the stonework path and became soft dry dirt with low lying leafy plants along the sides and well manicured trees that looked like larger sized bonsai conifers. The monk led Xander to an opening in the trees and plants, where two buckets stood silently waiting; each bucket several feet away from the other.

Pointing to the two buckets, the monk stated, "Take the water from the bucket, and move it to the other bucket without breaking the continuity of the surface, and without moving the bucket." With that the monk turned to leave.

Xander's eyebrows rose in confusion, and he quickly dropped his ever present backpack and turned to call to the monk before the monk fully left, "Wait! How am I supposed to move the water from one bucket to the next without breaking the surface tension?" Xander questioned; eyes a bit wild at the daunting task.

The monk's only answer was, "A jug fills drop by drop."

With that the monk left Xander to his task.

Xander sat down in between the two buckets that were slightly out of reach, and tried to think of a way to move the water from one container to the other. He didn't realize that the assignment was really a meditative exercise in monotony, a seemingly impossible task where the supposed only way to move the water was to ever so slowly dip a finger into the water and then slowly remove the finger with a drop of water on it before carefully transferring it to the empty bucket. A task that was in fact impossible given the amount of time he would be given before the monk returned.

The only problem with the monk's impossible task, not a problem for Xander but actually a problem for the monk, was that the Major Spark that was Xander laughed in the face of impossible tasks. Which is in fact what he started doing when faced with this particular task.

Xander looked from one bucket, to the other, and then back again to the bucket full of water.

Slowly, a smile started to creep across Xander's face, and then a smirk, as his eyes took on a bit of an insane glow. And then a snicker escaped his lips, a snicker that became a chuckle, which became a laugh, until the formerly tranquil garden was filled with the sound of maniacal laughter.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha! Wa HA HA HA HA HA HA! Puny buckets, you are no match for the power of science! Water, your mere surface tension of 72.75 millinewtons per meter is no challenge for the power of my mind! You will rue the day you challenged me and bow to my control over fluid dynamics." Xander cackled evilly at the silently sitting bucket of water.

Xander raised his hand above the full bucket as the cloth of his shirt rippled until he had gloves covering both hands. Then the palms of his gloved hands started to glow, mirroring the gleam in his eyes.

Now any good scientist will tell you that the force of gravity affects everything on the earth with mass, but that the force of gravity is a coefficient of mass. The same good scientist, following the laws of physics as they know them, would also tell you that gravity and magnetic fields are not the same thing. Those scientists would be quick to add that though mankind has discovered how to manipulate and create magnetic fields, the same cannot be said for the force of gravity. But alas, that scientist would be wrong on all counts if they were dealing with a spark for sparks didn't need no stinking rules or niceties of rational laws of science, and in the case of Xander, he was a major spark.

Xander's right hand began to slowly spin in a circle around the circumference of the bucket full of water, and he slowly picked up speed while spinning his hand around the outside of the bucket. And strangely, impossibly you might say since you are not a spark, the fluid in the bucket began to spin in the same direction as Xander's rotating motions without the bucket being affected.

Faster the water in the bucket spun, faster and faster in an even smooth surface until it looked like a concave dimple or whirlpool but without the choppiness that one would get if they were using an object to agitate the water.

And still the water spun in the bucket, until it was an inverted smooth cleft, spinning so fast that it began to slide right up the sides of the bucket and spill out in a wave; a wave that Xander had counted on.

Continuing to laugh madly to himself, his deep insane laugh now no doubt disturbing the meditations of others in the city, Xander used his free hand with the glowing glove to sort of balance the sloshing water so that it seemed to pour in a hovering stream through the air. Xander's hands were traveling back and forth so fast as it was if a solid surface had been created to float the stream of water hovering above his hands, hovering right into the other bucket where he again captured it with a swirling motion so that it wouldn't just splash into the second bucket and break the "continuity of the surface."

It took a surprisingly short time before every drop of water in the bucket was transferred from one to the other, Xander using the very power of surface tension and the power of a pseudo-vacuum effect that sucked the water from one bucket into the other.

Finally Xander was done pouring the water from one bucket to the next yet he continued to laugh in the face of the laws of physics he had mutilated and outright ignored.

"Bwa Ha ha ha ha! Nothing is impossible with science! Bwa Ha ha ha ha!" Xander laughed at making the Universal laws bend over and take it. The situation was a bit ironic given that Xander had no problem breaking universal laws of physics, motion, gravity and a slew of others yet specifically worked to stay within the bounds of the rules the monk had given him.

Finally letting his laughter settle down, Xander sat down for a break and just started looking around in silence.

Xander looked around, and then continued to wait and look around.

Xander lasted a whole minute before the silence started to bother him and he decided to do something with his free time.

With a shrug, Xander popped up from his seat on the ground and sauntered over to his backpack, popped the clasp and then wiggled inside the regular sized backpack until only his feet were sticking out.

"No, no, ah ha, that's what I'm looking for." Xander's muffled voice could be heard to come from inside the bag as his feet scuffed in the dirt as they stuck out of the mouth of the backpack. Suddenly pieces of thick bronze colored sheet metal, both curved and straight pieces, started to fly out of the bag to tumble to the ground next to Xander's feet. The sheet metal was soon followed by hundreds of gears of all size and shape, axles, jewel works of every shape as well as a sealed metal box of indistinguishable contents. That was followed by a large ball of what looked like finely woven bronze chain rolled out from between his feet to settle against a rock on the edge of a clearing. Finally several sets of curved blades of about eight inches in length were the last to come out of the bag before Xander shuffled backwards out of the bag on his knees and elbows.

Standing up and dusting himself off, Xander smiled before his eyes grew large for a second in realization that he had forgot something, "Oops, forgot the tools."

Xander dived headfirst back into the backpack, and then grunted as he pulled out a large workshop sized metal crimping and cutting press, dived in a second time and came out with a tool belt and bandoleer covered in tools along with a pair of welding goggles on his head.

Smirking, Xander decided to meditate in the way that came easiest to him, using his hands. Alternating between whistling and humming a complicated tune to himself that even included a counterpoint undertone, Xander flipped down his goggles and wiggled off his shirt before putting on the bandoleer and tool belt kit, he tossed his shirt on the ground and then plugged the electrical cable from the large metal press into the shirt.

Still wearing his gloves, Xander got to work. His hands were a blur as tools were taken off of his kit and then returned quickly. Xander was enjoying himself as he hummed and just enjoyed making something. His thoughts harkened back to Sunnydale, before he had been hit with the spark, and Xander realized that that he had always enjoyed working with his hands.

'_I've come a long way since carving the Scooby's wooden stakes.'_ Xander thought to himself with a huff as he used his strength to forcibly bend the metal into the skeletal shape of the clank he was building before putting it into the metal press to help get several exact angles just right. Xander reached behind him and his glove glowed, pulling the ball of wrapped chain to him with a clang of metal against metal. Two of the fingers of his left gloved hand grew bladed lengths, and Xander began to snip off lengths of the fine chain before welding it around the head of the clank like a long thick mane. After finishing that task it would be time to start on the inner workings of the clank.

Hands that blurred at speeds faster than the eye could see still did finely detailed work. The gears, pegs and clockworks scattered on the ground were quickly disappearing from their seemingly abandoned locations in the dirt and were quickly forming the inner works for a four legged machine.

While Xander's hands were busy, his mind was free to wander in introspection back to life in Sunnydale as well as his new life.

'_I've always been handy… I had to be if I ever wanted to get by with all of the crap that Tony broke in his drunken fights with mom.' _Xander thought to himself as the sounds of rivets being driven through metal, driven via Xander's gloved covered hands without any tools, echoed through the usually tranquil city. _'Still, I bet I would have ended up a carpenter or in some sort of construction job, never would have guessed Xander the King of Cretins and slacker extraordinaire would become The Leviathan, mad scientist with his own empire.'_

As Xander worked, he smiled as he just enjoyed building things, seeing things from his imagination come to life, even if some of them were on the more destructive side.

Stopping and stepping back from the four legged clank that was seated on its back haunches, Xander walked around it once before nodding and then pulling out the sealed box. Xander bent down and slid the box through the opening in the chest panel, sticking his arm clear up to the shoulder as he situated the combination heart, mind, the power source and the thinking center, of the clank in the center of the gear works where it 'clicked' into place before slowly seeming to melt and connect to the inner workings of the clank.

The inner gears started whirring and they meshed so well that not a single click or clack was heard.

Pulling his arm out, Xander smiled and securely attached the front armored plate to the beast of a machine's chest and then stepped back, trying to figure out why it just didn't feel right, didn't feel like it fit with its surroundings.

Rubbing his chin and moving his jaw back and forth in thought, Xander looked around the clearing for inspiration.

To his right was a tree, so that wasn't going to help, to his left a bush, but looking up and over his clank, he saw the inspiration that he needed.

The wheel of life, the intertwined symbol of Rama Kushna, it was perfect.

Smirking to himself, Xander held his hand out towards his backpack and ordered his nano-clanks to connect with his lightsaber. The lightsaber unclipped itself from the strap of the pack with a click and darted through the air and right into Xander's hand; just as he had designed.

Spinning around to face his construct, Xander smirked and snapped the blade on.

The snap-hiss of the red bladed lightsaber igniting caused Xander to chuckle manically… he was such a geek.

Marching towards his newly constructed clank Xander ordered, "Hold still, or this could do some damage." With that, Xander began to spin and twirl his blade while seeming to hop around and jump up and over the back of the clank as he worked, only the very tip or sides of the lightsaber touching and scorching the metal of his robot as etched patterns, lines and swirls began to appear all along the body and face of the clank.

The sounds of the spinning blade and scorched metal continued on for several minutes, until finally with a flourish and a slight twist of the wrist, Xander disengaged his blade and smirked at the work he had completed. Reaching down into a pouch on his side, Xander pulled out a thick piece of leather and went to work buffing off the scorch marks and black carbon so that only the pattern would be left. What scorch marks and carbon scoring the leather sheet and superfast buffing couldn't get out, Xander removed by running his gloved hand over the surface and mentally ordering the nano-clanks in his glove to polish and clean the metal surface.

What he was left with was a brightly burnished cat like figure with a spiky mane of finely linked chains that draped about the clank's head in a thick carpet.

"Very interesting." A voice from behind Xander questioned. Xander turned around to see a monk with alien eyes and grayish colored skin looking at Xander and his construct. "What is it?" The red and yellow robed being, who didn't look quiet human, questioned.

Xander smirked, "He's a Guardian Lion. This is Krosp two point O, the king of cats. I took the idea of the guardian lions of the type you usually see carved out of stone in front of Chinese temples and palaces, only he's a lot better protection than any old stone statue."

As if knowing that Xander was talking about him, the ornately marked burnished metal lion-clank opened its mouth in a wide yawn that showed an impressive array of sharp teeth like metal bits before closing its mouth and turning its eyes towards Xander and his visitor and blinking. Standing up out of its seated position, the lion-clank stretched with its front paws out behind it and put its butt in the air and wiggled it from side to side, almost as if it was about to pounce, before stretching out its back legs and kicking them at the dirt. Cruel curved claws flexed out of their hidden sheathes in the claws as the lion as it smacked its articulated maw as if a cat waking up from a nap. On its back and sides was what looked like decorative swirls and lines that made the lion look like it had a mane and hair, only stepping back and taking in the complete view would allow somebody to realize that the pattern of decoration was in reality the symbol of Rama Kushna.

Krosp 2.0 sauntered over to Xander and pushed into Xander's side and under his hand, and Xander smiled and gave it a rub on the back of its metal head, rubbing his hand through the lion-clanks chain-linked mane and rubbing over one of the beast's short round ears. A deep rumbling sound, almost like a large car subwoofer, started to vibrate the air around Xander and the lion.

"Is that, is that robot purring?" The alien looking monk questioned while raising one elegant eyebrow.

"Yep." Xander smirked. "It's pretty much a real lion, only it can't procreate and will last for as long as the sun shines in its heart. It's going to be my model of the gift I thought I'd leave for Rama Kushna in repayment for letting me visit." Xander finished, playfully pushing the lion's head away from him, but just like a cat it head butted Xander back wanting attention.

"Stop it you." Xander said with a smirk, and pushed the large cat-like clank away.

The lion huffed and padded off to a corner of the little clearing before walking in a circle and then settling down for a nap in the sunlight that filtered in through the trees.

The alien looking monk twisted his head to the side and asked, "Just who are you?"

"Eh, no one special, but you can call me Xander." Xander answered and turned his focus away from his cat to hold his hand out to the monk.

The monk look puzzled down at Xander's hand, before tentatively reaching out and clasping it awkwardly, "And I am Kai-Ro, the last descendent of the ancient civilization of Nanda Parbat. Now come, I was sent to retrieve you from your… meditations, though I see now that perhaps you have not come here so much to meditate as you have come here to be a test for patience sent by the Goddess." Kai-Ro added in a calm voice as he turned to guide Xander away from the clearing, the only sign of agitation being a slight tick in Kai-Ro's eyebrow.

"Hey now, none of that wise cracking, that's my job." Xander joked with a smirk while he quickly blurred to put things away in his backpack and slid his shirt back on. "Besides, if you aren't nice, then I won't tell you about your future with the Green Lantern corps."

Kai-Ro raised an eyebrow at Xander in question, "Indeed? Well then I'll have to try and be patient with you."

With that just the hint of a smile spread across the alien features of the future Green Lantern, while Xander's smirk never really left his face.

* * *

Two months had passed inside Nanda Parbat, and it wasn't quite clear who had been more affected by Xander's time in the hidden city; the monks, or Xander.

Every day the stoic monks went about the same routine. Morning exercises were followed by a small mid morning meal, followed by more exercises and martial arts or working in the gardens, fields or ponds in the hidden city; all to strengthen the body and hone the mind. The afternoon saw meditative exercises or tasks followed by more martial arts and finally an evening meal followed by most of the monks walking through the gardens or taking time out to talk or for introspection.

Xander too followed the same schedule, and Kai-Ro had taken Xander as his special project, either that or Kai-Ro pulled the short straw.

It wasn't quite clear who was tortured more by the other, Xander, or Kai-Ro. A perfect example is Xander's first full day at the temple and hidden city. Upon starting up the martial arts exercises with the monks in the large courtyard, Kai-Ro noted that Xander wasn't even breathing hard, and that the man's heartbeat hadn't even risen at all.

"To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear." Kai-Ro commanded, insisting that Xander figure out a way to make the workout actually be a challenge to Xander.

They had settled on Xander turning off his Amazo technology nano-clanks whenever it was time to exercise, and that night Xander felt his first muscle cramps since coming to the DC Universe. Xander wasn't sure whether it was the constant repetitive katas, the hundreds upon hundreds of pushups and laps around the courtyard doing duck walk, or the fact that Kai-Ro felt that upside down sit ups should be accompanied by a whack with a stout bamboo switch to the stomach in order to toughen Xander up. Either way, Xander hurt.

Still, Xander was fortunate that his natural healing factor, the combination of the science engineered into the body of Xander Heterodyne added to the gifts granted by The Primal Spirit, left him fully healed every morning. Still, it took Xander at least a week to learn how to fall asleep exhausted and aching from bruises all over while his muscles screamed at him. It seemed that it was one thing for the technology of Xander's nano-clanks to heal that which was already there, but the build new stronger bigger muscles required Xander's natural healing abilities to do all the work. Xander wasn't quite sure why he was letting himself be put through this pain, but he had to admit that he felt his body growing stronger and heartier, and the skills that he had gained from Cassy had become almost instinctual. An unexpected aspect of the constant exercise and tasks was that Xander began to gain a bit more control over his own mind, though not enough to make life boring and fully stop the chaos that was his normal mindset. Xander realized that the training by the monks was helpful, but the overall torture/exercise was brutal and left Xander in a lot of physical pain.

As opposed to Xander's physical pain, Kai-Ro on the other hand was dealing with severe mental pain. Xander was driving him up the wall. If it wasn't Xander's ability to take the exercises and beatings and keep on going the next day stronger and better unlike anything Kai-Ro had ever witnessed before, then it was the way that Xander went about addressing the assigned meditative tasks.

Xander could not, absolutely could not sit still. Add to that the fact that Xander took the meditative exercises and turned them into some sort of scientific expression that perverted the laws of nature, and Kai-Ro usually left the sessions with a migraine.

"What is the sound of one hand clapping? Now Meditate on it." Kai-Ro stated the first day after leading Xander to join him in meditating near one of the rock gardens. Closing his eyes, Kai-Ro turned his vision inwards in order to learn more about himself.

The racket of a loud, almost explosive, clapping sound nearly knocked Kai-Ro off his perch on the wooden bench next to the garden. When the ancient monk had finally looked up, he saw Xander happily smirking at the large metallic arm Xander was holding in hand. Every time Xander pressed a button on the arm, the hand would hinge in the middle and clap loudly. Xander had turned a smiling face towards Kai-Ro and exclaimed, "There you go, one hand clapping." At which point Kai-Ro's migraine began.

Kai-Ro's migraine would go on to return every day during meditation periods, when Xander figured out an atomic level physics sorting device that melted the hyper accelerated the atoms in the five foot tall pile of white sand into its constituent atoms until the only thing that was left was the single piece of black granite sand that Xander had been told to find. Xander even discovered that yes, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, there still is a sound.

The fact that Xander saw the literally impossible as a mere challenge to conquer drove the ancient patient monk to distraction. Yet Kai-Ro still continued to work with Xander, trying to help the young man learn the hidden lesson that Rama Kushna meant for Xander to learn. Kai-Ro struggled and toiled to help Xander figure out what Rama Kushna wanted the lad to learn regarding "What we think, we become." Kai-Ro constantly quoted that over and over to Xander along with the ancient saying, "We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world." For that is what Rama Kushna led Kai-Ro to tell Xander.

Ultimately though, it wasn't Kai-Ro's relatively peaceful actions and guidance that led Xander to the answer to why he came here to Nanda Parbat.

No, as with most lessons in Xander's life, it was through adversity that he learned the best.

* * *

It had been a strange morning for Xander. Xander's schedule for the day was the same, but Kai-Ro wasn't there to beat on Xander. After two months of the same thing day in day out, the lack of the ancient monk trying to help Xander reach his inner self and learn the lesson of Rama Kushna threw Xander for a loop.

Xander was so put off his game that he was actually able to truly meditate for once. Xander knew that he was so close, so close to consciously connecting with his inner Xander for the first time in his over two month long stay in Nanda Parbat, so of course something or somebody had to interrupt.

Eyes closed and in the lotus position, Xander sat on a flat rock in an immaculately raked white sand garden, nothing around him in a ten foot radius but unmarred and neatly raked sand. Krosp, and the six female looking metal lion-clanks that Xander had created as a protection for Nanda Parbat, lay sunning themselves on the outskirts of the sandy pit that lay around the rock Xander sat on.

With his eyes closed and his back protected, Xander willed himself to relax and just focus on trying to reach his inner self and the meaning of what Rama Kushna was trying to teach him. Without the external distractions, and with the voices in his head being strangely reserved or busy with little mental tasks, Xander felt that he was just a few moments away from succeeding in reaching his inner self and learning the lesson that led him to the city.

* * *

Boston Brand existed in a state of un-death. Not alive, yet not able to fully pass on to the promise of rest in the land of the dead. Simply put, Boston Brand was a ghost. In fact Boston was the ghost known as Deadman, a former acrobat that had been killed by Ra's al Ghul's League of Assassins and who was brought back to life in order to be the champion of Rama Kushna; the goddess of balance and the guardian of Nanda Parbat.

Deadman served a purpose, for it was at Rama Kushna's direction that the ghost hunted for his murderer and used his ghostly ability, that of being able to possess any living intelligent being, to help guide and lead insanely evil villains to Nanda Parbat where Rama Kushna could look after them and keep them from furthering evil in the world. Deadman would possess the bodies of the evil individuals and such was the nature of his possession that he took full control of their bodies and left them with no memory of their time under possession. Only those of absolute incredible willpower could cast out Deadman and stop the possession from taking control of their bodies. Even characters such as Superman and even villains on equal power level with Superman had been possessed by Deadman. Thus one would think that a chaotic minded individual such as Xander would easily fall prey to the Ghosts incredible powers of possession if Deadman so chose to use them.

Boston Brand had just returned from his latest unsuccessful hunt for his murderer; a murderer who Deadman only knew was a member of the League of Assassins and had a hook for a hand.

Floating ethereally and unseen, the pale white skinned and red and black garbed Deadman was floating towards where he knew the master of the temple was, needing to find out what the goddess wanted him to do for his next mission. As Deadman floated above the gardens he saw a man in what looked like black monk's robes seated in a lotus position with his eyes close. Seated in a large circle around the man and scattered around the clearing was what looked like a pride of robotic lions, their burnished bronze colored metal gleaming in the light and looking like nothing more than cats sunbathing.

Intrigued, Deadman floated invisibly closer to the man, wondering who he was and what he was doing here; especially with the pride of armored beasts.

Now Deadman could have simply appeared visible and questioned the man, but the ghost figured that the easiest way to learn all about the man was to do a simple possession and get access to the man's memories.

Boston figured that he could be in and out in a moment, get the information he wanted, and the man would be left totally unaware and uninterrupted in his meditation.

With that thought, the ghost known as Deadman floated down, and merged himself into Xander's seated form.

* * *

Xander had been struggling to keep his eyes closed and his hands still as he attempted to meditate by himself. Kai-Ro and the other monks had attempted to help Xander learn how to find his inner self and bring it to peace, but Xander had just taken their supposed impossible tasks and completed them easily. Ultimately, not only was Xander left without the promised gift of peace and lack of inner chaos, but the monks that worked with him had also become quite frazzled. In all honesty, Xander had treated the exercises and tasks with his normal candor, and decided to have fun with them. He was starting to realize that he might be allergic to boredom, though Xander was probably the first person ever whose allergic reaction was for his subconscious to either blow things up or create devices that tried to make other things blow up.

But for once, just once, Xander had felt that on this morning he might just be able to really meditate and quiet his mind on his own. Xander could feel that inner control just out of reach, and as he focused down deep inside himself and tried to still his thoughts, Xander had almost reached the place that he wanted to be, almost reached nirvana and that peace within, when Deadman's possession hit.

Suddenly Xander found himself shoved into the back of his mind, similar to the time when the Primal Spirit had first possessed Xander and left Xander as a backseat witness to the actions of his body.

Xander looked around the inside of his mind in shock, and all of the other iterations of Xander's mind all stopped to stare at Xander in that instance when the conscious mind of Xander appeared in the inner sanctuary of his subconscious wearing a copy of the loose black monk's shirt and pants that he had been clothed in while meditating.

Xander looked around at the Primal spirit, the Heterodyne, the Lack of Reason, the Voice of Reason, the Mr. Miyagi, the Libido with its centerfold magazine, the Voice of Insanity in its straight jacket, and even his inner child who were all in that particular mental room at the moment. They all turned to look at the conscious mind of Xander appearing in his black monk's robes, and as one they blinked and said, _'Well now, this is odd.'_

As soon as they said that a second figure appeared in their midst. This one was bald and had a pasty white face and eyes of the dead, and was wearing a black and red acrobatic jumpsuit with a tall collar. The most distinguishing feature of the figure though, was the fact that he wasn't a Xander.

Deadman blinked and looked around him at the inner representation of the man he had possessed, and he suddenly realized that he had stumbled upon something very new to his normal experiences of possessing a person.

Boston Brand only had a moment to get an inkling that something was wrong here before the multiple images of the man standing around in different garbs, and partaking in different activities, all turned towards the ghost and grinned.

'_GET HIM!'_ The voices of Xander's mind all yelled, as evil smiles instantly flashed across their faces and they all leapt for the intruder in their midst.

Deadman only had the instant to go wide eyed and mutter, "Oh shit!" Before he was dog piled by the pack of Xanders.

Boston tried to leap straight upwards in an attempt to stop the possession, but his leg was grabbed and Deadman was quickly 'yoinked' back to the ground level of Xander's mental living room. The surprise in the fact that Deadman, as a ghost, could be physically touched by these figments of imagination kept Deadman from reacting in time to stop the coordinated wedgie and beating that Xander's inner voices met out; the Voice of Insanity being the one who grabbed a hold of the back of Deadman's underpants and proceeded to try and wrap the ghost's tighty whities up and over the ghost's head.

'_You picked the wrong head to mess with bub.'_ The Primal spirit growled with a with a left hook to the chin before delivering a right cross that spun Deadman in a circle and into the waiting arms of Xander's rational and irrational voices.

'_Here you go good man, please do try and stand still for your beating.' _The Voice of Rational Thought said while holding the ghost up and giving him a good right jab to the solar plexus, which was within Queensbury rules, while at the same time the Irrational Voice did a three stooges imitation and stuck his two fingers in the ghost's eyes.

"Ahhh!" Deadman screamed in pain and ducked forward, stumbling about and covering his eyes from where they had just been poked.

Xander's inner child took that moment to run up and stomp on Deadman's right foot, and then proceeded to give the ghost a good kick to the shin while sticking out his tongue at the 'bad ghost' before running off to allow another voice a shot at the intruder.

Then it was the turn of Mr. Miyagi, who to add insult to injury, crane kicked Deadman in the ethereal family jewels; effectively lifting the hopping, eye holding, bruised, and wedgied ghost off the ground to fall crunching to the ground in the fetal position.

Several other inner voices crowded around in a circle to add a kick or a blow to the intruding Boston Brand, preventing the moaning ghost from escaping. The circle opened, and the figure of Xander's conscious mind walked forward with a glare on his face.

Xander addressed the spirit inside Xander's mind with a growl that would have done the Primal proud, _'Boston Brand, you made a big mistake.'_

Xander reached down and seized the ghost by the throat and pulled him off the ground with one hand, leaving the ghost dangling in the air and held up by Xander's strength.

"How…?" Deadman choked out a question while struggling to loosen the grasp of the man strangling him.

Xander quirked his head to the side while continuing to glare. _'How are we hurting you? It's easy, my body is full of Nth Metal, thus when you entered my body you basically surrounded yourself with the one element on this earth that can kill ghosts. And unfortunately for you, even though you are a hero, you now represent a threat to all that I hold dear, all of my loved ones are in danger due to the secrets that you have given yourself access to.'_ Xander mentally gritted out. For if the choices were to kill a hero or sacrifice the protection of those he loved, Xander would scalp that hero in a second.

Deadman gulped and tried to speak, but Xander's grasp tightened on his throat and crushed out the ability to talk.

Xander looked around at the voices standing around him and asked, _'Anybody else want to get a few hits in before I kill this guy for trying to steal our secrets?'_ Xander looked around, and saw the voice of his libido standing there reading a Sunnydale edition of a magazine; Cordelia Chase wearing a bikini on the front cover.

'_Hey libido, do you want to get in on this?'_ Xander mentally queried.

The voice of Xander's libido just made a waving off gesture with one of his hands while continuing to look through the magazine with a horny smirk. _'Nope, I'm a lover not a fighter, do what you want with him.'_

Xander turned his attention back to the soon to be very dead man and said, _'Deadman, for the crime of stealing secrets and putting those I love in danger, I sentence you to complete destruction of your form.'_

A dagger appeared in Xander's free hand, and he pulled back his arm to stab it into the head of Deadman…

Only to be interrupted by a loud voice crying "STOP!" And suddenly Xander found himself no longer in the living room of his mind, but now in a different realm of color and light.

* * *

The knife in Xander's hand was stopped just between Deadman's eyes, the point almost touching. Instead of penetrating through the ghost's forehead and forever erasing the stolen secrets that the ghost had gained by possessing Xander, Xander found a large floating hand gripping his wrist, as two giant purple feminine eyes looked down on Xander from above.

Xander's jaw opened wide in awe, for he instantly realized that he was looking into the face of a goddess.

Xander released his grip on Deadman and dropped the ghost to the ground while disappearing his dagger and turning to bow at the waist to the embodiment of Rama Kushna.

Inside Xander's mind he was repeatedly chanting, _'Please don't smite me, please don't smite me, please don't smite me…'_

The sound or deep and sultry feminine laughter brought Xander out of his internal chanting. "Ha ha ha ha ha, you are so amusing Xander. No, I will not be smiting you today, that is, as long as we can work out an agreement where you won't try to destroy my champion.' The goddess of Nanda Parbat stated playfully with a smile in her voice.

Xander stood straight and looked up at the floating eyes far above him, and his head nodded very quickly, "Yes Sir, um, Ma'am, um, Goddess. Um I'm just going to say Yes and shut up now." Xander replied quickly, a bit too quickly though which led to his stumbling over his tongue. Inside his mind Xander was trying with all of his might to keep his thoughts quiet so as not to think something offensive that might offend the goddess who could apparently read his mind even through his telepathy blocking technology.

Rama Kushna laughed again, and her floating eyes almost seemed happy, "Do not fret about your thoughts, they are still protected from other beings as long as you are not in their chosen realms. Things are different here, for I cannot help but hear them and will not hold them against you. This realm is my realm, it is me, and everything in it is at my disposal." The goddess explained, and Xander took a brief instant to allow his eyes to take in the details of where he was.

Stretching out into every direction were colors, moving lines and uncoordinated shapes with an undertone of bright yellows, oranges, reds and purples. It looked like a California hippy convention where the tie dying booth blew up while everybody was on an acid trip. The only thing besides the moving nebulous colors and shapes were the pair of purple eyes looking down on Xander, each eye the size of his head.

Rama Kushna quickly drew back Xander's attention to Deadman at his feet. "Boston." She said, "I did not give you your powers merely so that you could assuage your curiosity. This is going to add time to your karma debt needed to pass over to the afterlife." She stated in chastisement, and Deadman silently nodded in understanding while still cupping his injured testicles; the fact that the ghost's underwear was still cinched halfway up his back probably wasn't helping the pain in the family jewels.

"Xander, I apologize for my champion's invasion of your inner being for selfish reasons. If you foreswear your destruction of my champion, I will erase the memories he stole from your mind with his possession while leaving him the reminder of the beating he received. However I am the goddess of balance, thus the scales must be equaled. In further repayment, I offer to guide you to the answer that drove you to come to my city. I only offer to guide you, for understanding must come from within and I believe you have already learned your lesson regarding cheating on the path to enlightenment." Rama Kushna's voice seemed to come from all directions at once as she made her offer.

Xander's only available response was a "Yes ma'am" with very vigorous nodding. For it was one thing to tangle with beings like Superman and the Justice League, it was something entirely different to tangle with an 'honest to goddess' goddess; especially when you're currently stuck in their realm.

"It is done." The Goddess's voice commanded and Deadman disappeared. She then went on to focus on Xander with her eyes, and she softly guided him to think. "Xander, I want you to remember back to when you first arrived at my city. Xander, what was the statement that the first of my monks told you to concentrate on." She guided.

Xander tapped his chin in thought for a moment as he sorted through his memories, then he answered her, "We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world. Though I still don't really understand that whole thing, sounds a little Zen to me."

Rama Kushna's eyes closed and then opened again briefly with a flutter, "Look around you. I think, therefore this realm exists. What did you do when the monks gave you impossible tasks to complete?" She questioned softly, her voice still sounding like deep bells ringing in the distance.

Xander smirked up at the goddess, "I showed them there is no such thing as an impossible task; you just need to twist the rules a bit."

"Never doubt that to most, those tasks would have been impossible to complete in the time given and within the laws of nature. How did you succeed where others would fail?" She asked, pointing him in the right direction to lead him to the answer he unknowingly sought.

"Hmmm, it would have to be the Spark I guess. It allows me to ignore those pesky suggestions such as gravity, thermodynamics and what other's call reality." Xander answered with a shrug of his shoulders, not understanding where she was leading with this. Philosophical thought was not Xander's strong suit given the scientific bent of his mind.

"Good." Rama Kushna answered with a smile in her voice, the colors of the realm brightening briefly for a second with the goddess's pleasure that Xander was finding the answer, even if he wasn't entirely there yet. "And what is the Spark?"

Xander thought about it, and then paused as his eyebrows furrowed and he tried to go through his thoughts to figure out if somebody from the Heterodyne universe had ever defined what the Spark really was. After several moments, he had to look up at the goddess and answer, "Uh, I don't know, care to cheat and tell me?" Xander finished the last one with puppy dog eyes and a smile on his face.

The goddess laughed, the sound like tinkling bells filled the air and seemed to come from all directions, and Xander shrugged and smiled.

"Figured it wouldn't hurt to at least ask." Xander said smiling up at the goddess now that he knew he wasn't about to be smote by the goddess.

"It doesn't hurt to ask Xander, but it would be better if you figured it out yourself." Rama Kushna replied with happiness shining from her eyes. "Try it this way, I see in your mind that you have read the story by Douglas Adams. What is the answer for life the universe and everything in it?" She questioned him.

"42," Xander immediately quipped, not really having to think about it.

"Yes, 42 is the answer, but what is the question?" She asked patiently.

Xander was puzzled, he didn't know where she was going with this, because in the book "Life, The Universe, and Everything in It," there was no question. The question part of the equation was what everybody was looking for.

"There!" Rama interjected on Xander's thoughts, "The equation. That is the answer, for the equation is in you, the equation to life, the universe, and everything in it is the Spark."

Xander looked stunned up the goddess, but then answered with a puzzled look, still not quite getting it and trying to think back to his DC comic book knowledge to try and figure out if she was referring to some sort of equation that was talked about in the comics. "What, the anti-life equation is in me?" Xander asked, referring to the controlling equation that existed in the DC comic book universe, an equation that gave control over all life.

"No." Rama Kushna answered, a bit of disgust coming through her voice, "I do not speak of that measly little equation that such self proclaimed 'new gods' such as Darkseid quest after or which the being Mister Mxyzptlk use in order to control reality. You have the answer, so I shall spell out the meaning to you." She directed Xander to listen, and he did intently.

"Inside you Xander Harris, is the Spark of Creation, the chaos that spurred the invention and creation of the universe. It is a power that you will never fully control, for it will more often control you and the world around you causing seemingly improbable or impossible things to happen around you as things outside of the normal rules and chances of the universe happen around you. The Spark is the full equation, it is the question and the answer of 42. It is the Godwave, it is that which created all life, ends all life, it is beyond the laws of the universe, for it set the laws of the universe to be what they are. You have inside you the Spark of chaos, entropy, creation and the infant form from before order was made to control things in this universe. I sent the signs for you to come here so that you would understand that chaos and not allow it to bring you to evil." The goddess passionately stated, finishing the last part with care and concern shining from her floating eyes.

"Now wait a second, I'm not evil…" Xander started to interject, forehead wrinkling as he scowled at the idea. Yet Rama Kushna interrupted him.

"No, you are not evil, but you could be." She answered, "For I am the goddess of balance, and I see you teetering on the edge. Absolute power does corrupt absolutely, and in one such as you the outcome could be horrible for all of current creation and even extending into other dimensions. Unaware of its power, you like most of those who are gifted or cursed with the Spark in what you call the Heterodyne Universe, have allowed the spark to run rampant and control you more than you control it. Even now your retrovirus is spreading not only through the criminal world and through the dictators and tyrants, bringing more of those who would cause harm to bow before your control, but it spreads to the victims of crime and abuse also." Rama Kushna chided Xander, and he paled in horror at what he had done.

"No… I didn't mean to, I didn't want, you have to believe me…" Xander started stumbling, his eyes wide and unseeing as he quickly thought about what it could mean for the world if his virus spread to every non-metahuman in the world.

"Hush child, it is not as problematic as all that yet." Her voice said softly and caringly, drawing him out of his internal debate and mental abuse that he was reaping upon himself.

"The virus has been spread to those victims of crime and abuse through the bodily fluids, and it will continue to spread as your minions serve you to what they see as best for your goals. Still, it spreads no quicker or wider than the AIDS virus does, and where as AIDS leads towards death, your virus has even stopped the evil and abusers from continuing their evil actions after the virus completed the change within them. The morals of your donor minions breeds true in their DNA, an aspect of a change that was inserted into them by The Black Heterodyne when he first led his minions out of Europe centuries ago." Rama Kushna explained.

Xander's fear eased a bit, though he still felt guilty for unleashing something that could lead to him accidentally taking over the world.

"Yes, your virus could lead you to dominating the world to your will. That is why we meet now to confer, to keep you in check and to let you know that I will be watching you, yet encouraging you as you bring peace and protection to the people of this world." Rama Kushna said carefully, cognizant of Xander's inner turmoil at his potential problems and responsibilities growing beyond just those lands that he directly controlled.

"I had only wanted to help stop the crime and abusers Rama, you have to believe me! I never wanted it to go this far, I only wanted to stop those monsters who were hurting the girls and threatening my life, stop them from doing it again to me or anybody else." Xander pleaded with the goddess.

"And you did, yet on a scale you did not initially guess." Rama Kushna softly answered, her voice coming to Xander as if on the wind as the dimensional colors turned to light blues and greens in tune with the goddess's emotions.

"Rest child, for what you have done is not evil. I grant you this knowledge with the understanding that you must continue to walk the balance, for if you don't then the power of those coming to serve and follow you will drive you to corruption, and from corruption comes true evil." Rama Kushna stated, a bit of a warning in her tone. "To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind, if you can control your Spark, then you can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to you."

Xander merely nodded, deep in thought.

"But now it is time for you to go. It is has been two and a half days since you left the world you came from, and you are needed to right a wrong and protect those who you promised to help. I am confident that you will find the right means to bargain their safety." Rama Kushna stated finally.

And with that, Xander disappeared from the realm of the goddess, and the giant purple eyes closed deep in thought of things that had been and things that could come to be.

* * *

The battle for Themyscira lasted without stop for two days. Women of equal incredible beauty and skill at arms and war met in battle, and there was hardly one Amazon on either side without a wound. After the initial surprise, the forces of Themyscira and Bana-Mighdall were evenly matched, and neither side could find an advantage. Swords and spears crashed and the tide of battle waged back and forth across the island as Amazon fought Amazon and sister attempted to kill sister.

All of the Themyscirian communications equipment was fused and blocked from calling for help. Doubtless by the Witch Circe. Nothing remained for the peace loving Amazonians of Themyscira to do but to conquer, or die.

But that was only the first part of Circe's plan. She had never intended to play fair, even with her allies. The Witch meant there not to be one Amazon left alive after that day.

Circe, that Witch of old, wielding the Greek goddess Hecate's own powers, brought into being a terrible spell which tore through the fabric of time and space…

The land of Themyscira itself was spun into another dimension, and the amazons almost realized the new threat too late.

A peril more terrible then one they might have mete out against each other.

With a cry of rage and victory, the giant illusion of Circe's head hovered above the battlefield. "At Last! AT LAST! VENGENCE IS MINE! DIE, AMAZONS!" The image of the witch's floating head screamed in glee over the battle field. Circe tied the spell holding the Amazons in this foreign dimension to her magic, and her image disappeared.

There was a flash, and when the light cleared over the battlefields of the Amazons the sky was black and the earth and sky were filled with the growls and cries of millions of hungry Demons.

For Themyscira had been cast into Hell.

* * *

**AN1: All I have to say is, "Oh yeah! This is going to be AWESOME!" I really can't wait for the next two chapters, as I've been planning these for a while. This was a long chapter, and frankly I felt that it could have been cut off at the point where Xander entered Nanda-Parbat. However I really wanted to get the explanation of the Spark and why crazy things happen out in this chapter. The equation "of life, the spark, and everything" in it will play a role later in the story, along with the anti-life equation. Also, I've been chomping at the bit to get to these next chapters with the Amazon's stuck in a hell dimension. BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA! (Come on, I know you want to do an evil laugh also, let it out!)**

**That said, credit should be given where credit is due. The story of the Themyscira Amazons being attacked by the Bana-Mighdall Amazons and being cast into hell by Circe was originally from Wonder Woman Vol. 2 comic books, written by Loebs and Deodato and published by DC comics. I'm not going to give the issue number because I don't want to give parts of the plot away.**

**AN2: The first major part of the journey is done, and now it is time for some major events to happen in the story and some of Xander's harem to start being cemented in place. I'm not going to ask for more criticism, for I still get enough flamers to make me want to put down my laptop and stop writing for a while. I'm always amazed that the biggest jerk-wads are those who have never published a work of their own, and if you look at their review history they are mostly full of crappy flaming reviews. To those who flame, I say you are not taller by standing on the shoulders of others; it only gives us an eye level view of how small your penis is. Alternatively, I'm always looking for thoughts and ideas, and I've gotten some really good ones this last chapter so I thank you and ask you to continue giving them to me. If you like this story, I ask that you let me know what parts you like most so I can learn from my actual successes versus what I only thought might be successes. With that said, Cheers!**


	33. Chapter 33:The Grey Knight Rides In Hell

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN1: Sorry about getting this out so late, but it was actually done Friday. Then my beta went on vacation, and then her computer crashed (so this hasn't been beta'd) and also some jack ass decided to make inappropriate actions and statements towards my wife at work (where's my shotgun?) which needed to be dealt with. Real life is such a hassle some times, but it definitely comes first. I hope you like it, but don't complain about mistakes as it hasn't been beta'd, as soon as the beta reviews it I'll put up the edited version. Cheers!**

**AN2. Are you ready for War? What else did you expect to happen when Xander finds out that women are in danger, and from demons at that? Without further adieu, let's get this party started!**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 33: The Grey Knight Rides In Hell.**

"I am the hammer, I am the right hand of the Emperor, the instrument of His will, the gauntlet about His fist, the tip of His spear, the edge of His sword!"

~The Grey Knight, Warhammer 40k

Xander returned to his physical body with a gasp, his back locked stiff and eyes opened wide as he drew in a huge breath in almost an approximation of what happens when one breaches the surface of an ice covered lake. In heaving breathes, Xander clutched his chest at his racing heart as everything Rama Kushna had told him beat at his head in an instant; for mortal psyches cannot stand in the presence and realm of the gods and not leave unaffected.

The bronze lions that had been lazily resting about the clearing recognized the agitation in their creator and their tails whipped back and forth in sympathetic agitation as they came to their feet as one and started to look around for any possible threats, ignoring the silently standing figure of Kai-Ro who had appeared sometime before Xander exited the mystical realm of the goddess.

Kai-Ro stood stoically silent, waiting for Xander's heart to calm and mind to reach a lower level of stress before letting Xander know that the monk was standing nearby.

"One cannot be in the presence of the goddess and not leave unchanged." Kai-Ro said simply, a hint of understanding and sympathy in his voice for Xander's particular situation.

Xander just looked up at Kai-Ro and nodded silently, Xander put his focus and concentrating on bringing his heart rate back into control along with the turmoil of his mind. Xander had learned much, and he was sure that each word Rama Kushna had said to him would have great meaning for his future. However, before he could figure out what to do with the advice, he realized he would have to spend a lot of time in introspection and contemplation. Only after that could Xander hope to figure out what the hell to do with controlling his Spark.

'_The Spark! Dear God that's a shocker, not to mention the virus and the potential of what is to come...'_ Xander thought frantically as he took a big shuddering breath and then forced himself to breathe slow deep breaths, closed his eyes for a moment, and calmed himself.

'_Now's not the time dear boy. Rama Kushna's last statement hinted at our need to hurry from this place and return to the real world as someone, or ones, require our assistance.'_ The voice of Reason stated in the back of Xander's mind, always come and collected when the world threw another ratchet into the work's of Xander's life.

Xander sighed and shook himself, his voice of reason was right, he had to leave Nanda Parbat, and soon.

Looking up at Kai-Ro, Xander's eyebrows furrowed and he answered sincerely, "I appreciate the time that you monks have given me here, but it is time that I leave."

Kai-Ro gave a little bow of his head, "So we have been told. Your pack is by the front gate and the brothers are there to wish you goodbye." The monk said with a bit of a fond smile.

Xander nodded and stood up from his lotus position, floated across the sandy expanse without marring its manicured setting, and then touched down barefoot on the dirt path. As Xander's foot hit the ground, the black loose shirt and pants that he had worn for the last two and a half months rippled and formed into the black armor that he had arrived in; stopping at the neckline and leaving Xander's face exposed.

Xander nodded silently and gestured for the pride of seven lions to follow them.

Kai-Ro led Xander silently through the dirt tracks surrounded by foliage until they reached one of the stone cobbled paths. Kai-Ro guided Xander through the silent city to the front gates; the only sound of their travel the light almost nonexistent clicks of the lion-clank's mostly retracted claws scratching on the stone road.

Xander and Kai-Ro turned a corner, and the monks were all standing lining both sides of the path leading to the gates. Xander smiled at the silent visage of the monks and nodded to them as he passed them by on the way to the gate.

Stopping before the gate, one of its double doors open and ready for Xander to exit, Xander turned and bowed to the gathered monks before addressing them with a quirky smile.

"Thanks for the help you gave me, and for putting up with all of my noise and distractions." Xander quipped with a little shrug of his shoulders, as if insinuating that he couldn't help it.

The gathered monks all silently and straight faced bowed their heads slightly in reply.

Xander turned his smile to Kai-Ro, and then to the six female lion-clanks. "Protect the temple of the goddess and the city of Nanda Parbat from invasion or attack. Listen to Kai-Ro, the master of the temple, and especially the Goddess if they give you requests." Xander commanded the clanks while squatting down and patting them on the head as they each came and bumped up against him. Xander smirked and laughed as the last one head-butted him in the chest and tried to knock Xander backwards.

"Stop that you… silly kitties. Anyway, you remember what to do if Ra's al Ghul or his assassins try to get into the city?" Xander asked, his smirk taking on a bit of a dark macabre light.

"SNICKT!" As one, all six female looking lion-clanks sat back on their haunches and raised a formidable right front paw that suddenly was sporting eight inch long razor sharp claws which they negligently licked as if they were cats merely cleaning themselves peacefully without a care in the world.

"Heh, good kitties." Xander chuckled and smiled before turning his smile towards Kai-Ro.

Xander stood up and faced the ancient alien looking being who would one day join the ranks of the Green Lanterns.

"Thanks again for all your help Kai-Ro, even though I'm sure there were times that we both wanted to kill the other." Xander quipped humorously with his goofy smirk and a shrug.

"Think nothing of it, it was my pleasure. Know that you always have a place of rest and contemplation with us if you want, but heed the goddess's warning regarding walking the balance." Kai-Ro answered simply.

Xander's smile didn't drop so much as turn honest and sincere in his understanding, and he nodded. Reaching down, Xander snagged his backpack from where it sat next to the open door, and swung it up onto his shoulders.

Xander waved once and said to all, "So long, and thanks for all the fish and rice." Xander smirked and stepped with the male lion-clank following him out into the wind that howled outside the gates. Xander proceeded across the rope bridge that spanned the chasm with his clank following along loyally behind.

Behind Xander the doors shut to the hidden city shut, and the moment the doors shut Kai-Ro turned to address his brothers.

A smile slowly crept across Kai-Ro's face, a smile that was mirrored on the faces of every monk there. With a shout of joy Kai-Ro yelled out, "He's gone! The chaotic one is finally gone, and we can have peace again!"

And in the frozen city of Nanda Parbat, there was much rejoicing.

* * *

As Xander walked across the bridge out of the city, he swore he heard cheering, but shook his head as it was probably just his imagination or the wind. Mentally calling up his helmet, the black covering of Xander's nano-clank armor crept up his neck in an instant and covered over his face as he stepped off the bridge and onto the snowy ledge on the far side.

Turning towards the clank Krosp, Xander gestured for the lion to come closer. "I'll have to carry you for the first bit as we fly. As soon as we get out of the time field we will be transporting back to the castle."

Krosp made a huffing sound of acknowledgement and sauntered over to Xander, where Xander bent down and picked up the beast easily, even though Krosp was quiet heavy.

As Xander floated up into the air and quickly through the barrier of the city and the real world, Xander had an odd thought. _'Come to think of it, it's lucky that old rope bridge held under his weight…'_ Xander shrugged off the thought and called up a portal to take him immediately to the city.

Stepping through the portal as soon as the clouds had formed around him, Xander stepped through the black portal and into a bustling command center swarming with minions and satellite photos of the world and the activities going on around it.

Xander set down Krosp and took a moment to look around. Krosp gave his mane a shake and then walked over to Xander's command chair and then curled up in a ball beside it for a nap, while Xander immediately became serious and his armor flickered and merged into that of The Leviathan's; everybody that worked in one of Xander's command centers was a loyal minion who knew of Xander's multiple aliases. They all believed it wasn't the place of the minion to question The Heterodyne.

Xander quickly sat himself down in the seat of the command chair and mentally commanded the connected computer systems, _'Situation threat report.'_

The voice of Bob communed with Xander's mind, giving him an update on the situation in the blink of an eye. '_Sir, at 05:00 our time a large dimensional rift was noted by the satellite system, originating at longitude and latitude 26.550758,-70.702858. Computers verify the location as that of the Island of Themyscira. Queries of the satellite system show the image of bloody melee combat on the island for two days prior, then a large disembodied head appearing shortly before the island disappeared. We have a 98.2% match with a recognized plot, from your submitted memories, where Circe sends the Amazons to a hell dimension. In fact, Circe's head appeared in the sky over the Island shortly before it disappeared.'_

Xander mentally cursed, thinking at hyper speeds as his brain literally communicated with the computer at speeds closer to those used by supercomputers as opposed to those used by humans. _'Why the fuck wasn't the fighting on the Island not inspected and a relief force of female Jägers sent to stop it?' _Xander mentally spat the query at his computer.

The information stream that Bob was communicating to Xander was tinged with a cringe of regret, _'Xander, the treaty with the Amazons is only in the defense of external threats. The satellites clearly showed that the attackers were Amazons, thus the boundaries of our treaty would not allow us to get involved into what would be defined as a totally internal dispute within the Amazon nation.' _Bob's voice in Xander's mind sounded apologetic.

Xander grimaced behind his Leviathan helmet as he continued to commune with his computer. In the command center around Xander the pace picked up as a troop of armored Jägers entered the room and situated themselves in the corners of the room to offer protection to Xander. Igor, Janna, Cassy, Magda and the Tara-Dora duo entered the room; having been informed that Xander had returned from his journey. None of the newly entered individuals said anything to Xander as they could see that he was motionless in the command chair; no doubt communicating with the computer systems.

'_Show me a fast forward video of the battle and the disappearing act of the island.'_ Xander commanded grimly, and into his head was uploaded the video of the battle on the island.

In the video Xander saw flashes of light appear all over the island of Themyscira before the flashes deposited armed units of women wearing headbands and dust clothes commonly used in the Sahara desert to keep stinging sand away from the face. The women were mostly wielding swords and spears, though Xander saw several with bows and quivers of arrows strapped to the disc covered light armor that the attackers wore. The video was without sound, but Xander could clearly see the attackers ghost across the open expanses and into the houses, palaces and temples of the island. A little while later, the obvious fighting exploded out of windows, doors and into courtyards as blood flew and weapons flashed in the moonlight.

Xander snarled as he hated to see woman injured, and the blood was quickly flowing on both sides of the engagement as what he knew were the Bana-Mighdall Amazons were pushed back from the buildings and the bloodshed spread through the streets and open spaces of the city. A clinical eye told Xander that though the Bana-Mighdall were more bloodthirsty and aggressive in their combat styles, the Themyscirian Amazons were better trained overall due to their immortal life spans.

'_Fast forward to the part where the head appears, I can't stand to watch this travesty in its entirety.'_ Xander mentally spat, and the screen blinked to the point where a clearly cackling silent head of the Witch Circe appeared. It was night again, and the camera on the video told Xander that the time was 0458 in the morning in Romania and probably mid evening in Themyscira.

'_Freeze the film!'_ Xander ordered, capturing a direct picture of Circe's face as the witch had thrown back her head towards the sky in laughter; a motion that pointed Circe's illusionary head and face right at Xander's cameras and sensors floating in space.

Xander opened his eyes while sitting on the command chair, he turned his head to look to the left as his helmet told him that his minions and newly adopted family were standing there.

"I'll be with you in a second, it's good to see you and I wish I had the time to tell you about my journey and what I've learned, but it will have to wait." Xander said grimly through his helmet to Magda, Janna, Cassy and his three primary minions.

"Igor, I want a bounty put on Circe's head for twenty five million dollars, I want her killed immediately…" Xander commanded Igor angrily while at the same time the image of Circe's face from the video was put on the main screen of the command center.

"No!" Cassy yelled an interruption to Xander's command with a startled scared look on her face, and Igor's eyebrow raised as he turned to look at Xander adopted sister. Everybody in the command room stopped and turned to look at who would dare disagree with the Master.

Cassy looked frantically around, but then steeled herself and pulled her shoulders back and looked at Xander, "No Xander, there has to be another way. You promised me that you were different than Cain. I don't know what is going on, but there has to be a better way than having your first choice be the death of the person who is a problem."

Xander struggled with an inner growl, he couldn't remember the last time somebody had told him "No" since he got to this universe, but then he shook his head as he remembered this was Cassy, a person whom he was beginning to care for like a sister.

Mentally commanding his helmet to disappear, Xander was left garbed in the black suit and gloves with the blood red tie and he focused his attention to look at Cassy. Pointing to the screen Xander took a deep breath before answering Cassy's pleading statement, "See that woman there Cassy? That woman is a witch, and not in the Bed Knobs and Broomsticks or Harry Potter movie variety witch who only wants what's good for people. This is a turn people literally into frogs and then eat the frog's legs type of witch and she is trying to kill off all of the Amazons." Xander tried to explain to Cassy.

Cassy looked up at the picture, and then back at Xander and walked up next to him and stood looking down at Xander's seated figure. Cassandra Kalderash, formerly Cassandra Cain looked Xander straight in the eyes and told him, "I don't know what you're talking about with the Harry Potter movie thing or Bed Knobs and Broomsticks, but you told me on the roof that I wouldn't have to kill if I came and joined your family. But now you're going to kill somebody without a thought? When Cain had me kill a man, I read his death in his body language. Death is darkness and terror, then nothing. It's scary, and it shouldn't be your first answer to your problem." She stated, putting her hands on her hips and glaring down at Xander.

Xander's brain flipped through thoughts of just blowing off Cassy's statement, ignoring the girl, or even telling her she was naïve. But then the voice of Reason came to the forefront of his mind and added a point, '_She does have a point Xander. Rama Kushna warned us about walking the balance and I doubt our killing everybody who presented a problem to us would help us in our pursuit of staying on the side of good. That said, Circe is known for being terribly weak to the plant Ilex aquifolium, otherwise known as Holly. If we could infect Circe with the plant holly then we could disrupt the spell._' The voice of reason suggested while reading a book on Xander's memories about the Witch Circe from the DC comic book universe.

Xander sat back in his chair and looked up at Cassy while he thought about her statement as well as the information that his inner voice of reason had just told him.

'_You're getting weak Xander. The only thing that matters is making sure your enemy is dead and can't hurt you or the pack again.'_ The voice of the Primal growled his two cents worth in Xander's thoughts.

'_Yes, but Circe has been known to come back from the dead every time she has been killed. Further, the witch has been defined as being immortal and a goddess class sorceress. My supposition is that we neutralize her powers through some sort of holly poisoning.'_ The voice of reason countered, and the Primal huffed in response.

Xander slowly nodded to Cassy and gave her a small smile, "Ok Cassy." He said, and saw the girl smile back triumphantly at him.

Xander leaned forward quickly in the command chair with a smirk and jabbed her in the side with his finger, hitting a ticklish spot and causing Cassy to dance away from Xander's reach with a little laugh.

With Xander's smile the minions in the command center went back to work with a silent shrug.

Magda smiled at Cassy and patted her on the shoulder, "Good job child. You will make a good sister to Alexander." The old woman said, and Cassy smiled back up at her.

Xander ignored the byplay between Magda and Cassandra and instead focused his attention on Igor, "Belay that order Igor, we are going to try something different." Xander commanded as Igor nodded in agreement.

Xander waved his hand, and a shimmering holographic screen appeared before him.

"Call Alec." Xander commanded, and the system connected Xander with Alec Holland.

Xander got a view of the back of Alec's head, but the former Swamp Thing turned around and faced Xander as he heard the 'ding' sound that accompanied the communications connection coming alive.

"Hello Xander, how can I help you?" Alec questioned with a smile.

Xander answered back as he got serious, "I need you to see about making some of those biological nano-clanks, but I need them infused with the holly plant, can you do that for me immediately?"

Alec smirked back at the screen and his eyes seemed to twinkle in amusement as he responded to Xander, "Magda said you might need me to make up large doses of the nano-clanks with an infusion of holly, but she didn't know what they would be used for. They are ready now."

Xander turned his head slowly to the left and raised a single eyebrow in silent question to Magda.

The old woman merely smirked while looking at Xander with her milky white eyes and made a dismissive gesture, "I saw Cassandra teaching you the error of your ways, and that this would lead to the best possible outcome for this situation, but you are going to need outside help in order to achieve your victory over the Sorceress Circe. My second sight has been unable to see anything regarding the witch or this situation." Magda stated before turning to smile down at Cassy.

"You have done a good thing child; continue to be one of his voices of conscious when he cannot see the alternatives." Magda stated to Cassandra.

Janna gave Cassy a one armed hug, and then both Kalderash girls turned to smirk at Xander.

Xander merely shook his head and gave a wry smile at the interaction between the two original Kalderash ladies and their new adopted one before turning back to the screen with Alec on it.

"We have a sorceress who is allergic to holly Alec, and we are going to need to dose her when we find her." Xander stated, and Alec acknowledged with a nod.

"We're ready when you are Xander. Just say the word and I can have a batch teleported anywhere in the world." Alec offered.

Xander nodded, "Thanks again Alec, you and your plants just may save a lot of lives again. I owe you again." Xander acknowledged.

Alec just waved off Xander's statement dismissively, "Not at all Xander. What Magda said didn't give me any details, but said that the situation would be life or death. I've got to get back to it but let me know when you need me."

With that, Alec cut the connection and Xander took another deep breath and the steeled himself for what he had to do next.

With a mental command to his nano-clank clothing, Xander's Leviathan helmet covered his face and he faced the screen.

It was time to contact the Justice League, and especially Wonder Woman.

* * *

Batman was running the Watchtower's shift at the monitor room and was paging through information on figures of importance while keeping an eye on the communicator. It was a quiet afternoon for the most part, and Nightwing and Robin were keeping things under control in Gotham as it was early morning and most of the crooks that populated the dark city had gone to bed with the first light of dawn.

A small beeping sound caught Batman's attention, signaling that a communications message was being broadcast on a Justice League signal but not from any recognized Justice League communicator.

"Hmmm, that's interesting." Batman muttered before plugging in a few buttons to start a trace program before answering the call.

"Batman here." He stated as he swiveled to face the communications screen.

A mirrored black helmeted visage with a nicely tailored black suit and red tie appeared on the screen, with a blank metal wall behind the caller's head. The image presented itself on the Watchtower's communication system and Batman scowled and growled out, "Leviathan…"

"Ah good, you've heard of me Dark Knight. Therefore we can get right down to business." The Leviathan stated with a slight quirk of the head to the side.

"I have no business with tyrants and dictators." Batman bit back with a glare at the screen.

"Now now Bruce, we both know that Wayne Enterprises does business with several countries which are currently controlled by Dictators, thus we both know that isn't true. Besides, I thought you Justice League were in the business of stopping genocide?" The Leviathan casually stated with a wave of his hand, as if mentioning Batman's biggest secret was something to bandy about in casual conversation.

Batman turned pale for a second when the Leviathan called him by name, but then the dark look that scared so many of Gotham's criminals grew across his face, "Are you threatening me?" Batman questioned, taking both the comment about his name and the statement about genocide as a threat to not only himself but to the people he and the Justice League defended.

The Leviathan looked straight into the screen and it was as if a dark menacing aura seemed to grow out of The Leviathan, "I assure you that I do not make threats…" The Leviathan left hanging for a second before continuing, "That said, what I am calling you about is deadly serious. I need to contact Wonder Woman as the Island of Themyscira has come under attack by the Witch Circe and has been sent to a hell dimension." The Leviathan laid it all out there, briefly catching Batman off guard with such an odd statement.

Batman's thoughts were momentarily scattered as they quickly assessed The Leviathan's statement before the Detective responded, "How do I know your information is true, the city is invisible to all surveillance technologies?"

Xander smiled behind his mask and tilted his head to the side while gesturing to the screen, "It may be invisible to YOUR surveillance technology, but it is not to mine. I'm sending the video to your system now."

"Wait." Batman growled, "Our system is encrypted and you can't just connect to it…" Batman started to interject, only to see a screen next to him recognize that a file was being uploaded.

The next thing Batman knew a video of the attack and disappearance of Themyscira was projected on the main screen of the monitor room, complete with freeze frame of Circe's face for a few seconds before showing the island disappear.

Batman growled and wheeled on the image of The Leviathan. A noise to his left grabbed Bruce's attention before he could respond to the Dictator's hacking of the Watchtower's computer. As if to add insult to injury, the noise was the trace program notifying Batman that it had run its search and that the communications message of The Leviathan supposedly originated in the Batcave.

Turning to glare at the image of the black helmeted ruler, Batman growled, "Cute."

Xander again smiled behind his mask, it was fun getting under Batman's skin even though the situation was serious. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about." Xander started while speaking from under the Leviathan's mask, getting a responding rumbling growl from the caped crusader.

Xander ignored batman's rumble. "As I was saying, I need you to notify Wonder Woman that her nation has been attacked, I have it on good authority that the Amazons have been sent to a hell dimension where time passes more quickly than here. Thus time is of the essence in finding Circe and breaking the spell." The Leviathan clearly stated.

"And just how 'good' is this authority of yours?" Batman questioned while putting stress on the word "good" as if to imply that the Leviathan's sources shouldn't be trusted.

Now it was Xander's turn to growl, "They are the same sources that told Kal-El that his adopted father would have a heart attack if it wasn't looked at, and the same one who informed you that he knew your future and that of your ward Dick Grayson." The Leviathan did not sound amused.

"The Grey Knight." Batman growled back with a glare, remembering the uncommon trouncing he received from the forces of the metal behemoth.

"Exactly. My cousin no doubt sends his regards. As soon as we find out which dimension the Amazons have been sent to I plan on sending in the Grey Knight and his forces to help with their protection and ferry whatever supplies he can bring." The Leviathan agreed. Behind the cover of Xander's helmet plans and counter plans were furiously screaming through his head about how to try and figure out just where in the multiverse the Amazons had exactly been sent.

"Understood. I'll get the Justice League looking for the witch." Batman stated and reached forward to disconnect the call with The Leviathan, only to have the communications system repeatedly deny the Dark Knight the ability to shut off the link.

"Use the plant holly if you just want to interrupt the spell and don't want to kill the witch." The Leviathan responded, ignoring the obvious attempts by Batman to disconnect the call. "I've no doubt you've probably got a sample of holly on that amazing utility belt of yours. Please send Wonder Woman my regards and sorrow at the plight of her people. The Leviathan's Empire will uphold the treaty with her country and work to safeguard the Amazons any way that we can." The Leviathan answered before cutting the signal himself.

Batman glared at the empty monitor for several seconds.

Finally Batman thought to himself, '_What a bastard,'_ before turning to notify Wonder Woman and the rest of the League about the emergency.

* * *

"What a bastard." Xander said out loud to no one in particular, referring to Batman.

"Yes sir." Igor resolutely agreed.

Xander stroked the chin of his helmet as his thoughts flashed from one thing to the next on what needed to be done in order to help save the Amazon nation from being slaughtered at the hands of countless demons.

A minute later, Xander had his plan.

Turning towards his chief minion, Xander ordered, "Igor, I want the Arcanic University fully concentrated on either tracking the trail of Circe's magic spell on Themyscira back to Circe, or scrying the hell out of the multiverse, um, I mean, scrying until they can find which hell in the multiverse the Amazons went to."

"Very well sir." Igor answered while both plugging in the command on his datapad while ignoring Xander's play on words.

Xander, for his part, hadn't even really noticed his wording as he was holding a full debate and planning session inside his own head courtesy of the voices.

"See if you can get the dimensional portal laboratory to use the upgraded version of The Black Heterodyne's dimensional transport system as a looking glass to find them also. I want this to be our primary effort at the moment, the primary effort next to the building of the floating city that is… still need to come up with a name for it." Xander finished with his statement trailing off in thought as he got distracted for a moment.

"Yes Sir, I'll pass on the orders immediately." Igor responded, helping to snap Xander out of his distraction and back to the present.

Xander gave himself a little mental shake before adding.

"And I want our spy network looking for that Witch. I want you to contact the Amazonian Embassy in New York, the one assigned to the United Nations. Get in contact with their people and coordinate the witch hunt. Put Alec in charge of the actual takedown as far as our people go; I'm sure Alec can infuse his body with enough holly that Circe won't be able to touch him." Xander commanded.

With that, Xander hopped out of his chair and started marching out of the conference room.

"I'll be in the metallurgy, armor, and armaments laboratory. I need to upgrade the Grey Knights armor with the current shield technology and with a few weapons that should serve better against flesh and blood demons." Xander stated over his shoulder.

With that, The Leviathan left the command center, guarded closely by his self appointed Jäger bodyguards who fell into step around him.

For his part, Xander didn't even notice the protection detail, so lost in thought of what he wanted to build.

The last thing the minions in the command center heard The Leviathan mutter as he walked out the door was, "Hmmm, what to use to make the Dreadknight system…"

* * *

A week later…

"A WEEK! A whole Fucking week!" Xander cursed and slammed the fist of his Leviathan outfit garbed hand into the wall and severely dented the wall's metal surface with the shape of his knuckles.

Wheeling on Igor, Xander glared and snapped, "You're telling me that we have a witch actively powering a magic spell that sends an entire island to another dimension, and we can't even track it?" Xander's eyes briefly glowed with bits of green backlighting, suggesting that some of his more primitive and primal instinctual characteristics were poking through his thin veneer of control.

Igor was unswayed by his Master's anger and merely answered straight faced, "Unfortunately yes Sir. Both the dimensional transport technology laboratory and the Arcanic University have reported no luck in either tracking the origin of Circe's ongoing magic or the end destination of the spell. Our intelligence department, working in tandem with the Justice League and the Amazonian Embassy, has sadly also reported a similar lack of results in locating a hint of the Witch. The news has also been quiet full of reports of Wonder Woman literally tearing through several of Circe's old haunts in the Greek isles… The Greek government has been quiet cross with her for the destruction of part of the Parthenon." Igor finished reporting, reading and quickly summarizing the situation as it scrolled across the ever present computer pad that the chief minion carried.

"Damn it!" Xander spat and kicked a wooden chair next to him; destroying the chair in a shower of splinters and the fluffy innards of the upholstery.

Xander started to pace back and forth in frustration, passing a trail from one side to the other of a random meeting room that was situated near the command center in the middle of Castle Bob.

Xander had originally thought that finding Circe would be relatively easy. Bing bang boom, they find the Witch, they either inject the Witch or swarm her with a cloud of holly based biological nano-clanks, and the Amazons come home. Everybody would be happy, but no. At this point Xander was feeling useless and ineffective, and no matter how much he tried to think out of the box or in the box, he couldn't figure out a way to either help the Amazons trapped in their hell dimension, nor could he figure out how to track down Circe. Xander was beginning to think that it would take the time period of the close to six months that had happened in the comic book.

The only problem, and it was a major one, with waiting for the six months to pass while hoping that Themyscira returned was that while only six months passed in the DC comics universe more than ten years would have passed for the Amazons who were fighting for their lives. It was canon from the comic book that he had read long ago. However for all Xander knew about this DC universe, given that it didn't seem to fit exactly with any one cartoon or comic book version of DC comics, the Amazons could already have been fighting for more than a year or had even been killed off by the swarms of demons.

"Damn it to hell!" Xander spat as he paced back the opposite direction and disintegrated another chair with a well aimed kick as he passed it by. "Why the hell did Rama Kushna send me back here if I can't actually do anything?" Xander ranted to himself.

Igor merely stood silently watching the Master pace back and forth. It was at times like this that the minion knew it was best to just let the Heterodyne think without adding any possible extraneous information to the thought stream.

"I mean, she specifically told me that she was sure I would find the right means to bargain their safety." Xander cursed, waving his hands around in agitation as he reached the end of his track and turned to walk back the other direction.

Xander paused in mid step, impossibly stopping in mid motion with one leg in the air and bent forward to the point where the normal individual could not possibly counterbalance. Then again Xander could fly, but Xander's ability to fly was neither here nor there.

"Bargain… that's it!" Xander yelled with a smile as his smirk grew across his face and a crazy gleam came to his eyes.

Xander mentally commanded his Leviathan helmet to disappear as he called out loud to the ceiling, "Mxyzptlk! I want to talk to you." Xander spun around looking to see if the imp would appear.

However the fifth dimensional imp neither answered nor appeared.

Rather than being put off by the slight, Xander's smirk grew larger, "Well then Mister Mxyzptlk, I guess you wouldn't be interested in a bargain that would see some pranks being played on Superman…" Xander didn't even have a chance to add anything more when there was a 'POP' sound in front of him and the image of Mister Mxyzptlk was left floating there.

"You've got my interest. What are you offering." Mxyzptlk questioned with a gleam in his eye and a faraway look, like the imp was contemplating the fun and games that could be his to enjoy watching.

Xander saw the look on the imps face and did a little mental happy dance that the idea might work.

"A bargain, a prank and fun and games with Superman in return for a question honestly answered to the fullest of your ability." Xander made the initial offer.

Mxyzptlk looked at Xander and snapped his fingers, and a little floating lazy boy recliner chair appeared in the air for the imp to sit in.

Smirking back at Xander the imp stated, "I wasn't born yesterday lad, let's define the terms of the game. Each prank has to be a major one, something that drives the Boyscout around the twist for a while until he can figure it out, and there are some questions I can't answer for you such as where Circe is hiding out."

Xander smiled and then quirked an eyebrow at the imp, "What… Aren't you powerful enough to tell me where a little old witch is?" Xander teased the imp, hoping to play on the near deities pride to get the imp to tell Xander where Circe was. After all, that would be the easiest way to get the Amazons back.

Mxyzptlk frowned at Xander and replied, "Don't make me angry boy, or I'll take my toys and go home along with any answers to questions you might have. I'm not about to piss off that bitch Hecate by messing with Circe who is her avatar. There's a reason why Hecate is often associated with barking dogs and female bitches, she's nasty if crossed and my wife would have a fit if I messed with that goddess."

Xander held up his hands in surrender on that point, and inside his mind he questioned whether he could even think about plan B, or if it would give it away to the powerful imp. Decided to check and see if the mind reading by Rama Kushna was something to do with being in her realm or if the Nth metal really protected Xander's mind from the imp, Xander decided to do a bit of a cagey test given the fact that he knew the imp could be tricked.

"Hey, ok ok, no messing with Hecate. I understand your perspective on it." Xander answered and nodded vigorously before smiling back at Mxyzptlk. "So about the major pranks, can you see in my mind the kind of things I'd plan to pull on Superman if you agreed?" Xander asked with a smile.

Mxyzptlk frowned and crossed his arms across his chest, "No, you've got that bloody stupid Nth Metal in your system and it's stymieing up my ability to see your thoughts. Used to be I could at least enjoy the voices in your head as a rolling commentary on what was going on with you, but now I can't. I don't like it that you've cheated at my little game, not one bit." The imp stated with a glare at Xander.

Xander fought to keep the smile from appearing on his face while inside his head his voices were doing a conga line version of the snoopy dance for at least one success in his current situation.

Xander struggled to remain professional with the imp, but answered with only a slight smile on his face. "Ah, well sorry about that, but I had to stop magic users from attacking me. You wouldn't want our game to end too soon due to some random spell caster nailing me, would you?" Xander asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No… I guess not." The imp respond with a bit of a whine in his little voice, before looking shrewdly at Xander. "Now back to these pranks. I'll agree to answer a question fully and honestly in repayment for a prank on Superman, also known as Clark Kent. And I'll be the judge of whether the prank is fitting or not."

Xander smirked and shook his head in the negative, "Uh uh, I'm not going to get tricked into that. How about this, Igor over there is probably bloodthirsty enough to your liking in pranks, and he wants what is best for me. So have my chief minion be the judge of whether or not the prank is up to the level of a member of House Heterodyne. What do you say?" Xander counter offered.

"Done!" Mxyzptlk said with a smile, figuring he got the better of the deal.

"Done." Xander agreed while thinking he got the better of the deal. Xander reached out his hand to shake the imp's.

Both parties shook hands, and then Xander's smirk grew across his face. "So I can't ask you where Circe is, but tell me this, which dimension was this dimension's Island of Themyscira and its Amazon's sent to?"

Mxyzptlk smirked back at Xander with a look that said, "I know something you don't know."

"I already told you once that a nasty little hell dimension lay on the other side of your transphased dimensional energy sphere. Where do you think all of that stuff that you zap with your Boom-stick goes to after all? The same hell dimension the Amazons are in I tell you." The imp answered the question fully. "It's the hell dimension closest to this dimension, well, that is unless you want to bump into Tartarus or of Nekron's dimension of the unliving." Mxyzptlk added as an aside.

Xander's eyes got large, and he looked flabbergasted for a moment. Inside Xander's head the conga line stopped in mid step, and Xander's voices all gave each other a surprised look. Only the Primal, who hadn't been willing to dance, was unaffected by the information.

'_Snap out of it bub. You can't show weakness to an enemy.'_ The Primal growled, and kicked one of the walls of Xander's mental living room to jolt Xander out of his stupor.

Xander shook his head and looked back at the imp for a few more seconds, blinking to try and figure out what to ask next.

Mxyzptlk smirked back at Xander's confusion, "That's one prank, and it better be a good one." The imp looked to Igor to make sure that the judge of the pranks was paying attention, and Igor gave Mxyzptlk a resolute nod.

Finally Xander snapped out of it as the voices in his head huddled together to brainstorm. _'Aha, I've got it!' _The voice of logic stated in Xander's mind before continuing, '_Ask him…'_

"I know you are restricting me or my friends from contacting or returning to my home dimension, but are you able to restrict me from heading to the same dimension that the Amazons are in?" Xander asked hesitantly and hopefully.

Mxyzptlk frowned and crossed his arms angrily across his chest, "Drat and double drat, foiled again." The little floating figure cursed while glaring at Xander, "No! I can't stop you from leaving this dimension and going to that hell dimension, but I can stop you from trying to get back to your stupid little hellmouth from some other dimension."

The fifth dimension imp continued to glare at Xander, but with a tiny bit of smugness to his face, "I've locked you from going back to your home dimension no matter how you go about trying to get there, but I haven't stopped you from traveling to other dimensions. Same thing as when you phased Romania out of this dimension, I can't stop that and stay within the rules of the game we started playing, but don't think you're going to get a backdoor pass to get home!" The imp finished, shaking a finger at Xander.

Xander's smile grew across his face for a second, waivered at the thought that he couldn't get home to Willow and Buffy, but then grew a bit more serene with the knowledge that he could finally do something to help out the Amazons.

Smiling at the imp, Xander decided to ask one more question and make it a good three pranks against Superman in trade for the information. With a triumphant smile Xander asked, "Ok then Mxyzptlk, for round three of our little truth for a dare game, how can I successfully take my military forces to help the Amazons?"

Mxyzptlk smirked evilly at Xander, and Xander got a sudden inkling that he wasn't going to like the answer to this question.

"In short, you can't get your forces to help the Amazons. Ha ha ha ha ha!" Mxyzptlk answered, and then laughed at the devastated look on Xander's face.

'_That bastard.'_ Xander thought with a frown, secure in the knowledge that the imp really couldn't read Xander's mind.

"You should see the look on your face! Ha! Priceless." Mxyzptlk pointed at Xander and chuckled before wiping fake tears from his little eyes and continuing, "In short, you're the only one who could actually survive the full dimensional travel with the tools that you have. That neat little Spark you have inside of you allows you to do the darn near impossible, and one of those is be transported via that energy matrix thing-a-ma-bobber you created and used to accidentally send yourself here. Eh, it should have a radius of about seven at ground level and about twenty upwards, but that's dimensional logic for you, never a sphere when you want one."

The Imp continued with a shrug of his little shoulders. "Anyway, you try and bring along any hitchhikers besides yourself, and splat, they all die. Not even intelligent machines would make it through the portal. Those bike gang members you sent through were so much ground meat by the time they made it over there that the demons thought it was raining food. Now the cars and vehicles though, that's another story. Those made it through ok, but not much you can pack into a seven by twenty foot cylinder, and it doesn't drop you off in the same place every time, so I have to tell you that trying to create supply drops to the Amazons is more likely to end up feeding random demons than actually helping them out." The imp finished before snapping his fingers and causing a Mai-tai with a straw and colorful little drink umbrella to appear in his hand. The little imp pulled the lever on his floating lazy boy and the foot cushion popped out as the chair reclined and the imp kicked back to relax with the smug look on his face.

Mxyzptlk took a sip of his drink and sighed in relaxation. Before looking at the deeply thinking Xander.

"Now that said, I'd suggest that you not go for it and just stay here and wait it out. It's not like too many of the Amazons will end up as demon chow, in fact a couple of them might even make it to return to this universe." The imp added with a shrug before making a slurping sound on his straw and again sighing in relaxation.

Xander turned to glare at the imp, really truly glare at such casual negligence towards mortal life and the loss of it at the hands of demons, and Xander struggled to keep himself from letting a growl slip out as he was reminded about Jesse and all of his classmates that disappeared due to the creatures that go bump in the night.

Still, a few seconds passed while Xander glared silently at the imp, and the imp just sat their smirking and sipping his drink.

However a moment later a little light seemed to come on behind Xander's eyes and a bloodthirsty grin started to grow across Xander's face.

"I'm going to go." Xander said with a big smile to the imp.

"What?" Mister Mxyzptlk said startled, his drink rattling in his hand as his lazy boy shot him back to the full and upright position. "But you could end up in the totally wrong place, not able to help the Amazons at all, and not able to come back to this dimension when the spell gets broken? You'd be stuck there until you die or get eaten." The imp explained looking at Xander wide eyed, not understanding the lad's new suicidal tendencies.

"I'm going to go anyway, and you've already told me that you can't stop me." Xander said with a crazy grin on his face and a mad gleam shining from his eyes. "So you might as well make sure that I land in the right spot, shouldn't you." Xander finished, tilting his head to the side. With the wide eerie grin on Xander's face and his head cocked to the side, Xander was doing a fair approximation of the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland.

"That's out of the question, why should I help you deprive me of my fun and games watching you here in this dimension, and you wouldn't be able to do your pranks on Superman if you went." Mxyzptlk explained, trying to point out weaknesses in Xander's plan.

"I'm going anyway, so you better make sure I get there in one piece if you want to have any hope of me pranking Superman for you…" Xander finished with an evil smirk. "Besides, I'll make it worth your while, throw in an extra prank and make it a total of four." Xander offered, padding the deal.

Mister Mxyzptlk frowned, and then pouted while staring at Xander.

Xander continued his crazy smiled grin at the imp, and the imp continued frowning right back at Xander in silence.

Five minutes passed until one of them finally broke.

"Fine! I'll help you appear near the Amazons, but I want you to up the number to ten pranks total." Mxyzptlk stated angrily with a huff.

"I'll up it to five and that's my final offer. If I end up dying in that dimension, all of your fun and games with watching my chaos ends, and you won't get a single one of your pranks on Superman." Xander countered with that same insane grin plastered about his face.

Mxyzptlk's jaw dropped open, and he stared at Xander with confusion that the puny third dimensional being would willingly throw his life away about an extra five pranks.

"Are you crazy or something?" Mxyzptlk asked stunned.

"Yes, and something." Xander answered back with a happy quip and floated up into the air and sat Indian style facing Mxyzptlk with that insane gleam in Xander's eyes and that manic smile on his face.

Mxyzptlk just blinked a few times, stared at Xander a bit longer, and then finally broke out in laughter.

"Ha ha ha ha ha! I knew I liked you boy. Now that's the kind of chaos that I can enjoy, none of this expected stuff. Deal, I'll land you near where the island was dropped when you do your little dimensional hop." The imp stated with a smile and stuck out his hand.

Xander lost the crazy look, and just smiled back at the imp and stuck out his own hand and shook Mister Mxyzptlk's hand.

"Deal, five pranks it is. Now if you excuse me, I have some packing to do and some messages to send." Xander replied and dropped back to the ground to land on his feet.

"See you later Mixy." Xander said with a jaunty wave as he headed for the door.

The imp frowned and yelled after the leaving Xander, "Its Mxyzptlk!"

"Whatever!" Xander yelled back over his shoulder as he left the room at a jog.

"Impudent young whipper snapper. No respect for their betters these days." Mister Mxyzptlk snapped back at the now long gone Xander. Then with a 'Pop' the fifth dimension imp was gone.

After Xander and then the imp left, Igor continued standing in the conference room for a moment, and as the seconds clicked by the Chief Minion's bloodthirsty smile grew and grew until the chief minion just shook his head and moved to exit the room.

"Such a good master, so much chaos and bloodshed. Why his great great great grandfather would be so proud, storming the pits of hell in order to gain himself a tribe of warrior women. Why not since the Heterodyne alliance with the Skifander throne has there been a female warrior tribe in the family, and not to mention that he gets to go to a playground like hell. Oh I am so proud of that boy." Igor couldn't keep the pride inside himself and it had to slip out in muttered words as he walked towards the door.

With one more look at the broken chairs and the dent in the room with a fond smile on his face, Igor shut off the lights.

* * *

Another day had passed in fast paced preparation for The Grey Knight's trip to hell, and they weren't packing for a social engagement. Xander had doubled the size of the backpack and then made two of them for carrying his gear. One of those packs would carry all of the ammunition, spare weaponry, and enough hydroponics equipment and spare parts to keep Xander fighting for at least three years… hopefully. The other pack was stuffed to the gills with a special surprise for the demons that were assaulting the Amazons; hopefully something that would see giving the battered forces some relief from the no doubt constant warfare.

Xander held no doubts as to how screwed the Amazon probably were while stuck in the hell dimension, they didn't call it hell for nothing. He knew from experience that even though a girl could be a fearsome warrior, it didn't make her invincible. After all, it was all fine and dandy for Buffy to face three to six vampires or demons at a time but even The Slayer would have been overwhelmed by wave after wave of flesh eating demons.

For probably the seventieth time Xander thought to himself, _'Are you sure you want to do this?'_

Yet it wasn't one of the little voices that answered him, it was his heart that told Xander the answer he needed to hear. _'You never backed down from a fight with the darkness when you were only a simple human without any powers or real skills, and you definitely aren't about to start now.' _Xander affirmed to himself as he checked the bindings on the leather looking satchels once again and made sure that his lightsaber and his new spare blade were in place and ready.

At this, the voice of Xander's reason did add in an additional point to the inner argument that Xander was going through. '_Xander, they might not be your girls, but you've never been one to let any girls get hurt if you thought you could stop it; it's how you met Willow after all. Just because several of the woman you've known are quite capable of taking care of themselves doesn't mean that you can't still believe that chivalry means something and that women should be protected as much if not more than men. If you are looking for some omen or sign that you should go, then you should note that your first name does mean Protector of Mankind in Greek after all, there must be some sort of reason that you are the one being sent to save the nation of ancient Greek warrior women.'_ Reason explained before closing a book in Xander's mind and switching attention to a new mental task. The other voices in Xander's head were curiously quiet also, all of them involved in little mental activities that were more to kill time before all was ready for Xander's invasion of the hell dimension.

Xander nodded in understanding of what his voice of reason was telling him and stood up just as a knock sounded on the door.

Igor walked into the room and looked at Xander. Xander was wearing his solid black nano-clank armor with his face visible; he would be wearing it as an added layer of protection under his Grey Knight armor.

"Your Grey Knight armor and added systems are ready for you Sir. Also Wonder Woman is at the launch site wanting to talk to you." Igor informed his master.

Xander frowned yet looked determined. "Is she still demanding that she be allowed to accompany me on the transfer?" Xander questioned as he lifted each pack up onto a shoulder, balancing the weight so that he could move forward without teetering to one side or the other.

Igor led the way out the door in order to clear the path through the Castle to where the Grey Knight armor was situated. Along the way through the living areas of the Castle, Xander's most trusted minions would stop and bow to Xander and wish him a "safe battle," "good bloodshed," or "happy invasion."

Yeah, minions were wired a bit differently like that…

Xander tuned out their words but nodded in silent thanks as he listened to his Chief Minion answer his question.

"Yes sir, she again repeated that it is her duty as the Champion of Themyscira to protect her people, though I believe that it is mostly words at this point. Janna and Magda have explained exactly what would happen to her if she tried to come along for your trip, using the cover story that your dimensional transportation technology only works with your physiology." Igor explained.

Xander gave a sharp single nod and turned the corner into his armory that was just down the hall from Xander's main living areas.

There in the center of the all metal room hung the hinged open and waiting armor of The Grey Knight, hanging via large chains and metal clamps that held it off the floor for easier use and tinkering.

The helmet sat on a stand to the right of the hanging armor, cables dangling out of the helmet and plugged into the metal floor; finishing updating the latest software and data functions into Xander's Jarvis AI system.

To the left of the armor was a weapons rack with the grey metal power glaive situated next to a new arm mounted version Toastmaster automatic repeater. The latest multi-barreled version of the Toastmaster had been dubbed the 4000 series given that its lethality and range had nearly been doubled by using magnetic fields to surround and compact more plasma into every round in standard mode yet leaving the weapon to work as a flamethrower if the user didn't mind the faster expenditure of fuel.

However the most fearsome of Xander's weapons on the rack was probably the smallest and most innocent looking item, a simple belt with a clip of small apple sized spheres. The saying went that close only counts in horse shoes and hand-grenades, but the term "close" was relative when said grenade contained a marble sized miniature plasma signature held in a tightly compacted graviton field; in short they were miniaturized suns in a handy dandy disposable size. Press the button on the grenade while hoping to hell you don't drop it, throw it with super strength or run away very very quickly, and a rice grain sized super-dense material is injected via a tiny rail gun right through the containment wall and into the miniature sun right before said containment field failed. Truly the inclusion of Xander's miniature Dyson sphere suns had helped boost Xander's weapon technology to completely new levels of lethality. Xander had a belt of twelve of these grenades total and he had been unwilling to test or waste any of them given that he had only been able to create the twelve before it was time to leave.

The upgrades to the armor and weaponry were few but fearsome, quality over quantity. Still, Xander wasn't sure it would be enough for what was promising to be one "hell" of a ride through the abyss.

Steeling his nerves and concentrating on the task at hand, Xander took a deep breath and let it out before starting the last check of the armor.

Stepping forward, Xander shrugged off the two insanely heavy packs and walked up to the armor and looked it over. The new upgrades were subtle yet clear if you knew what you were looking at.

Newly adorning the back of the armor was a black cape with the Grey Knight's Heterodyne crest in gold, the trilobite emblazoned on a skull, yet the cloak rippled like no fabric seen on earth before for it was more of the nano-clank fabric and a living weave of tiny robots made up its very structure.

Xander smirked while looking at it, for it was another one of those instances where he was cheating at the rules that Mxyzptlk had set out for the transport to the hell dimension. Ok, so they weren't so much rules as warnings as to what would happen to anything intelligent that tried to hitchhike on Xander's trip to hell.

'_Then again, I've always been fuzzy about that whole rule and warning thing.'_ Xander thought to himself as he walked around his armor and fingered the fabric on the back of the Grey Knight's armor. _'Mind over matter, I think there for it is, or isn't in this case. Well I at least hope this works, either way it will be a good test of Rama Kushna's words and the power of the Spark. If it doesn't work, then no biggie…though Jarvis might be a loss.' _Xander finished thinking and examining the cloak with a mental shrug before walking flipping up the cloak and examining the back where it looked like a vented radiator system had been installed against the formerly seamless back plate.

"Good, the final product looks like it should get somebody off my back in a hurry and help with that heat sink problem with the firewall." Xander muttered to himself while dropping the cloak down.

Taking one last look around, Xander turned his body towards the door with his back to the armor. Taking a deep breath, Xander lifted his arms and floated up off the ground backwards and into the cradled innards of the behemoth armor in a smooth seemingly practiced move. Xander's under layer of black nano-clank body armor seemed to shimmer as if electrical currents were passing over its surface, and the underlying armor bonded itself to the insides of the primarily Nth Metal based suit of Grey Knight armor.

Pneumatic seals hissed as bolts whirred and ratcheted down into the locked position, the clamshell design of the chest compartment closed shut with a clank before the seams on the armor shimmered and melted together until no discernible chink in the armor could be found.

The tiny clicks of the sounds of Xander's fingers flexing inside the armored gauntlets and rotating his wrists you could hear the slight sound of the sliding ball bearings of the manual control system before it was drowned out by a "HUMMMMMMM" that filled the room. The power armor turned on and the suits system connected the armor's internal sensor system to the nano-clanks inside Xander's body; effectively merging man and machine and giving Xander absolute control of the most minute feature of his upgraded Grey Knight system.

Xander opened his eyes, and nodded at Igor who was standing near the door watching as Xander suited up.

Igor nodded in silent understanding, and pressed a few buttons on the computer data pad in his hands, the heavy thick clamps holding the armor off the ground released, dropping the juggernaut of a Grey Knight system to the ground with a heavy "KA-CLUNK."

Xander nodded again to Igor before going through a few range of motion tests.

Xander's face was a mask of concentration, lips clenched and eyes constantly shifting and reviewing the exterior of his armor as he rotated his arms, waist, and then picked up and dropped each leg bending at the knee. A few steps to the side while twisting were performed, and then Xander mentally ordered the claws to come out of the fingers of the Grey Knight armor.

Claws that had destroyed so many vampires in a short span of time seemed to bubble and melt out of the fingertips of the matte grey armor, the claws adding just another level of sinister malevolence to the already skull bedecked armor.

Raising a claw to his eye level to look at it, Xander tipped his head to the side while turning over his hand back and forth. With a slight mental command the fine blade edge of the flickering transporter fields extended along the fingers' length for assured lethality.

Xander smirked a bit of an evil cocky smile and his eyes dimpled with smile lines as he checked his second clawed hand before canceling the melee defense system.

By the door Igor put his hand to his ear and nodded to himself before looking up and addressing Xander. "Sir, your ride is ready and the ammo has been fully loaded."

Xander turned towards Igor and gritted his teeth.

"Ok Igor, let's get this party started." Xander stated while turning and picking up the skull like helmet with the glowing red optical sensor eyes in the depths of its sockets. A new red glow came from the nasal cavity where the nose would have been on the face, as Xander figured a true predator used the sense of smell just as much if not more than sound and sight. The final effect made it look like hellfire was shining from within the skull, backlighting the shadows that the dark grey material formed in the nooks and crannies of the helmet.

As Xander lifted the helmet from its resting place on the stand, the cables disconnected with a pop and a hiss of gases being released and the helmet's eyes flashed briefly before settling into a steady hollow blood red light as Xander set the helmet down on his head.

Darkness covered Xander's vision for half a moment as he heard the pneumatic and electrical welds and locks secure the helmet in place. The screen before his eyes shimmered with a neon green light that seemed to drip down from the top of interior of the helmet, and then Xander's view was overlaid with a mix of the external sensors as well as a heads up display.

A voice that was translated directly to the nano-clanks in Xander's brain, making it sound like the British voice of the Jarvis AI, announced. "Grey Knight system is fully secure and at one hundred percent operating capacity Sir. Mental integration also at one hundred percent. Welcome back Grey Knight."

Xander smirked evilly, "Thank you Jarvis." Xander bent to the right and grabbed the Toastmaster 4000 with his right hand before securing it to the forearm of the gauntlet on his left arm right below the elbow with the barrels stopping just above the knuckles on that arm.

"Will you be saying any parting words with your ladies sir? The Chateau and RedTree also send their best wishes and happy hunting." Jarvis informed Xander.

Xander secured the belt of grenades around his waist and then picked up the glaive and then moved his eight foot tall bulk forward towards the bags he had left on the ground. Bending down to sling one over each shoulder, Xander answered his AI. "I wished them goodbye this morning and gave Cassandra a hug and a kiss goodbye at breakfast. The Grey Knight cannot be associated with them if I wish to keep the personalities separate and keep the girls safe."

Turning to address Igor, Xander smiled behind his armor as he gave final orders to his chief steward of his Empire, Xander's Darth Vader voice coming out deep and rumbling. "I'm counting on you to keep things together if something happens to me Igor. Protect the girls, protect the Empire, and if I don't come back and you absolutely must, then you can use the tissue samples I left for you to clone a new Heterodyne."

Igor bowed deeply to Xander before standing back up and looking up into The Grey Knight's red eyes, "I will do as you command, but due have fun storming hell Sir." Igor's bloodthirsty grin split his face.

"HA!" Xander let loose with a laugh that sounded more ominous than happy given the voice modifier in the armor. Xander realized that he could always count on his minions to look forward to invading a hell dimension; they were almost as bad as the Jägers. "Thank you Igor. Go out to the launch site, I'll be with you in a moment." Xander said with a smile.

Igor bowed once again and left the room while Xander looked after the retreating minion.

"Ok Jarvis, I need some music to get me ramped up, I'm sure you have something fitting for the situation." Xander stated seriously, the smile leaving his face as it was t-minus one minute to the hypothetical game time. Cracking his head to the left and then to the right, Xander flexed the muscles in his chest and heard the armor around him creak as he shifted and warmed up by stretching and then flexing his back muscles.

The strains of a electric guitar hit three rock and roll cords in a row, and then repeated. "strum strum Strum… strum strum Strum, Strum strum strum…" By the fifth repeat of guitar cord the drums cut in, and then at the eighteen second mark a raspy higher pitched voice cut in with the lyrics.

"Living easy, loving free, Season ticket on a one-way ride! Asking nothing, Leave me be, Taken everything in my stride. Don't need reason, Don't need rhyme, Ain't nothin' I would rather do.  
Going down, By the time, My friends are gonna be there too," The singer's voice carried over the pounding beat, and Xander found himself smiling an evil smile; the music was perfect for the situation.

That's when the chorus of the AC/DC song Highway to Hell kicked in, "I'm on a highway to hell! On the highway to hell, Highway to hell, I'm on the highway to hell…"

Xander waved his arm in front of him and a blue portal flashed to life in front for The Grey Knight to step through.

* * *

Xander stepped out of the blue portal in front of his ride to the hell dimension with the chorus of Highway to Hell repeating itself on his internal speaker system. He was out on a grassy expanse on the western boarder of what was formerly known as Kasnia but now was the Empire's west most province. It was a small zone cordoned off by its own individual lightning towers right up against the boarder, and it was currently the only area in The Empire of the Leviathan where outsiders could set foot. Around the outside of the bubble of lightning towers protecting the zone, stood several towering mechs that reached into the sky, and above that wings of Starscreams flew high cover patterns. In reality, there was only one visitor who was allowed in this area, but Xander wasn't focusing on her as the raven haired bombshell in the tight red white and blue outfit stood to the side talking with some scientists. Xander's focus was on the interior of that cordoned area.

Before Xander stood a large thirty foot long by thirty foot wide thick cement slab with a six foot tall silver colored metal stand, the stand was balancing a bright blue glowing transdimensional energy sphere on top of it. A large red circle had been painted on the slab with warnings written to stay outside the line, the circle centered on the sphere. On the other side of the stand but inside the boundary of the circle stood the Dreadknight class exo-armor; a grey colored reinforced metal unthinking chassi of a transformer standing on two legs without a head but with twice the armor and firepower. Twenty foot tall and with two open armored plates in its chest, it would add some extra armor to protect the Grey Knight's body but left the head exposed so that Xander's sensors could continue to function.

Painted on the right and left shoulder of the Dreadknight exoskeleton armor were The Grey Knight's skull and trilobite signal in black paint, and on the chest the armor panels would show another similar symbol when the plates closed together to protect The Grey Knight in his compartment.

As The Grey Knight appeared, techs scrambled to unclip hoses and wires from the exo-armor, and to the side of the concrete slab stood the Empire News Agency reporters and camera men recording the event for posterity if not the actual news; it wouldn't do to tip Circe off that they were hunting for her or sending help to the Amazons.

Xander smiled to himself as he tromped forward towards the Dreadknight class exo-armored suit that would be his chariot to hell.

'_A much nicer ride than going to hell in a hand-basket.' _One of Xander's inner voices quipped, causing Xander to silently smirk behind his skull helmet.

'_Still, not a very becoming end to your secondary Optimus Prime transformer unit, though I guess a rational use of the body given that it was all but crushed after that battle at the Romanian Army base.' _The inner voice of Reason interjected.

Xander ignored the inner voices as they began debating whether or not robots had souls and whether or not Xander was desecrating a corpse… yeah, his psyche was pretty twisted like that.

Tromping up to the sides of the twenty foot tall robot, Xander saw that the extra armor plates had been welded over its surface and that the head and most of the chest missing in order to created the perfect cradle for The Grey Knight armor to fit into. On the back of Dreadknight exo-armor was a giant sword, a good twelve feet long and two and a half feet wide with a pommel as big around as Xander's muscular forearm and as long as his leg. The left arm had a pair of belt fed 30mm Gatling cannons attached to its forearm but leaving the hand free, and the right arm had had an upgraded version of the Rocket Red's plasma blaster on it that would work like an upgraded flamethrower. The whole theme and theory of the weapons system was, "if at first you don't succeed, shoot it then shoot it again."

Xander ducked under the right arm of the Dreadknight system and slung the pack on his right shoulder and then lifted the bag up to his head level and onto the hooks and tie-downs that were located there on the Dreadknight's waist. Xander secured the heavy saddlebag and then moved around back of the Dreadknight where he secured his power glaive next to the giant power sword, then moved to the other side of the exoskeleton and secured the second pack.

"I still wish you would let me come with you Grey Knight." A strong feminine voice said from behind Xander.

Xander turned his attention to where the voice came from while focusing on finishing the secure tie down.

There standing with her fists clenched on her hips and a worried scowl on her face was Wonder Woman.

"I'm sorry Princess, but I refuse to let you tag along only to get killed en route." Xander's voice, deeply modified by the Grey Knight armor to sound like Darth Vader, rumbled as he mentally ordered the decrease in volume on the music playing inside his armor.

Xander saw Wonder Woman about to protest again and he held up his metal gauntleted hand and interrupted her before she could speak again.

"We have had this conversation before." Xander growled and the red eyes of his helmet flashed ominously. "It has nothing to do with you being a woman or that I think you are unfit for the job and everything to do with the fact that you would be killed by the transporter. This is not magic such as what Circe used or some godly power such as comes from your Patrons Wonder Woman, this is technology, and a technology that is only safe for me to use. If you are in the area of the field when I trigger it, then you will die, end of story."

Wonder Woman frowned but The Grey Knight continued speaking, repeating the same points that he had made to her before.

"Besides, you have faced and defeated Circe more times than anybody but your mother, who was the one who sent Circe to Tartarus in the first place. I will go to help your sisters and your mother by doing what I do best, killing demons, and you will do what you do best, capture the villain." Xander stated through his voice modifiers as he spun the bolt that finished securing the pack to the side of the Dreadknight.

Xander finished tying down his bag and then tromped in front of the exo-skeleton before floating up off the ground and pivoting in mid air so that his back slid into the chest cavity of the Dreadknight robotic construct.

Wonder Woman looked up at the Grey Knight as he settled himself into the massive armored torso of the exo-skeletal armor, and The Grey Knight looked down at her and he could tell she wasn't happy with the decision.

Wonder Woman crossed her arms across her chest and looked down in thought before looking back up at The Grey Knight.

Diana gave The Grey Knight a grudging nod of acceptance, "Agreed, I don't like it, but you are right. Stay safe Grey Knight, and tell my mother and my sister that I love them. Protect my people Knight." Wonder Woman finished and floated off the ground and backwards towards the safe area outside the circle.

"I will. Bring us home quickly Princess." The Grey Knight called in parting to her, and Wonder Woman nodded in silent acknowledgment.

The whirring of giant bolts and hydraulic pistons closed the chest armor of the Dreadknight system with a resounding 'CLANG' before more locking sounds were heard to issue from the armor. The Grey Knight slotted his gauntlets into the controls for the Dreadknight's arm control sockets, and then clicked his feet into the pedals for his armor clad legs.

"Dreadknight online, I am the instrument of your will." Boomed a deep mechanical voice from speakers on the Dreadknight armor as The Grey Knight's fingers flexed which in turn started flexing and moving the fingers of the massive Dreadknight. Cables, almost living in their snakelike motions, slithered out of the back of Xander's Grey Knight helmet and plugged themselves into sockets on the Dreadknight armor, which caused the barrel of the plasma blaster/flamethrower on the Dreadknight's right arm to flare to life with a brief short flicker of flame as the multiple barrels of the Gatling cannons on Xander's left arm started spinning up to speed.

Taking a step forward, the Dreadknight made a huge "Thud," before it was joined by its second foot moving forward to mirror the sound as Xander moved his walking tank towards the energy sphere.

"WARNING, WARNING, this is not a test! Clear the Launch Zone, Clear the Launch Zone!" Broadcast from loud speakers around the area, and the techs and news reporters moved back to a safe distance before putting on blast goggles to protect their eyes from the brightness of the coming flash of energy.

Wonder Woman gave the Grey Knight a salute by raising her fist to her chest while giving him a little head nod, as one warrior would greet another. Xander in his Grey Knight armor gave her a silent nod in reply before reaching down and picking up the glowing energy sphere with the larger hands of the Dreadknight system, then pulling the sphere close to his chest and clenched it between both larger robotic hands without crushing the sphere.

"Launch countdown commence. T-minus five seconds and counting." The speakers around the cement slab announced, and Wonder Woman affixed her blast goggles so that she could watch the event.

The speakers broadcast the count down, and Xander readied himself for his second dimensional ride ever, "5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Launch!"

As Xander crushed the robotic hands together and shattered the transdimensional energy sphere, he smirked to himself and thought wryly, _'Buffy and Willow would so kick my ass if they could see me now…'_

His thought was cut off in a huge flash of blinding blue light that exploded out from the crushed sphere with a giant 'ZAP!'

When the crowd got done blinking their eyes and their vision cleared so they could see again, The Grey Knight and his Dreadknight system were gone.

* * *

Hell, Sheol, Hades, Gehenna, Tartarus, Gimokodan, Kalichi, Hetgwauge, Kuzimu, O le nu'u-o-nonoa, the Infernal pits, the Burning Lake, the Inimitable Darkness, the Seven Levels of Dante's Inferno… these are all names for hell dimensions. The reality is that there were as many heavens and hells as there were Earth's in the multiverse, which meant that ultimately the possible hell dimensions were infinite in their number.

The hell dimension that the Amazons had been cast into was a horrible place, where everything was a carnivore and everything survived off of the blood and agony of its prey. The perfect example of this was shown in the cycle of life and the mixed up food chain that was presently being shown on a bluff a mile away from the rough stone walls that surrounded the former island of Themyscira.

A small flying manta-ray like creature, approximately four feet across and with thousands of little clawed feet dangling from its underbelly, swooped out of the sky in a dive attack on the spiked tentacle plant on the hill.

Weaving expertly between the moving red and black spines that sought to pierce its hide, the flying demon twisted at the last second and latched its spiny underbelly legs onto the tip of a tentacle while using its spike of a tail to pierce and slice through the lower tentacle before darting and swooping away with the severed portion of prey in its demonic legs.

Behind the mantis, the red and black stump of the tentacle plant gushed deep red blood as it writhed in death, the other tentacles smelled the blood and attacked it, piercing and driving the wounded limb down to an open maw in the base of the plant where said maw devoured its own stump of a tentacle.

The mantis swooped up towards the sky, dived and dodged the other flying demons smaller than it as it pulled the bloody still twitching tentacle into a jagged toothed maw that split lengthwise down its body between its many legs.

Flying higher and upwards, the Mantis swooped and screamed its call of victory as it twirled in delight at its bloody food and dived upwards into a cloud; only for bits and pieces of gore and shredded flier to fall back out of the cloud.

High above the clouds floated giant forty foot squid or jellyfish like beasts. The beasts floated on the breeze and stayed in the air via large pustules of buoyant gasses. Armored plates guarded the spaces between the gas filled bladders that kept the great beast afloat, and the creature's very long thin tentacles floated down and behind it held aloft by other balloon like pimples while spikes and mouths dotted the rest of the limbs. These limbs floated through the sky and hid naturally in the grey colored clouds, waiting for unexpected fliers to collide with their waiting tentacles.

Suddenly a giant fifty foot spike darted out upper most layer of clouds inthe sky above the floating armored jellyfish as a humongous beast, a several hundred foot long and wide version of the little mantis demon, pierced the jellyfish and shredded right through it before latching its belly legs into the inner meat of the shredded floating jellyfish and flew back up into the stratosphere.

The wounded floating squid like creature bellowed in its death cry, the thousands of little mouths on its tentacles screaming as it lost its buoyancy and plummeted through the air in strips of meat; the gas bladders exploding and further shredding the great jellyfish demon as the greater pressure at the lower altitudes caused further damage.

Suddenly the sky was full of fluttering flying, screaming, fighting demons of all shapes and sizes; a feeding frenzy in the sky that tore further chunks out of the doomed squid like demon and spread gore and blood over the ground below.

The tentacle plants shot out bladed spikes in an effort to snatch the fliers out of the air, and tiny almost mouse and long thick snake like demons with millions of legs scurried around the ground killing each other as much as snatching up scraps and drinking from puddles of blood.

Herds of what looked like demented hell-cows, with multiple heads and great lizard like maws below horned heads, grazed through the carnage and were indiscriminant in whether they chewed up falling pieces of gore or the smaller demons that scurried about the ground.

There were long lizard type demons like dewbacks from Star Wars, and in the far off distance two tall humanoid demons, grey skinned and standing at ten to fifteen feet tall, used claws and poorly manufactured spears to harvest the abundant meat scurrying about them.

A pack of horned and snarling hell beasts, the size of large tigers but with razor sharp spikes on their backs and with reptilian skin rather than fur, tore over the hill while ignoring the feeding frenzy around them; they preferred live prey of a softer variety and they hunted it as a pack.

Running in front of the pack, leaping over or dodging around the smaller hell beasts while diving under tentacles that sought to gut them, was a small reconnaissance unit of Amazons; two of the Amazons were injured and being carried on the shoulder of two healthy white and gold clothed Amazons. Bringing up the rearguard was a tall Amazon in leather armor with metal discs sewn like scales across it and a flowing loincloth covering between her legs. The lone Amazon rearguard was furiously fighting off the pack in order to provide time for the remainder of her sisters to escape.

Long red hair held back in a ponytail and cascading past her butt, Artemis dove over and twisted through the air to dodge a tentacle plant that instead of skewering her caught one of the leaping hell-pack in the throat.

"Thwip!" In a smooth motion she had pulled an arrow from her quiver and let fly straight into the eye and brain of a second charging eight foot long hell-pack. "/Come Sisters! We are almost there!/" She called out in Ancient Greek to the two pairs of white and gold armored Themyscirian Amazons that dragged the wounded Bana-Mighdall and third Themyscirian Amazon over their shoulders.

The Amazons were fortunate in that the hell-pack, so dubbed by the Amazons based on fact that the great beasts hunted in packs, stopped to devour the wounded beast that Artemis had shot with her arrow.

They sprinted desperately towards the edge of the bluff that led down to the plain where the city lay, using what time the hell-pack gave them to gain as much ground as possible.

Artemis ran over to Donna and Antopia, the uninjured Amazons, and took control of the burden of the injured sisters while Donna and Antopia slid over the red dusty stony ledge of the bluff and down to the level below.

Artemis grunted in effort as she lowered first one, and then the second injured Amazon sister over the ledge, stopped to loose a few more arrows from her longbow to wound the pursuing pack, and then dived over the bluff herself.

Skidding to the bottom in a cloud of red dust, Artemis wiped the sludge that was the combination of sweat and red dust out of her eyes with the back of her arm, leaving a smear that looked like blood on her forearm.

Donna and Antopia continued forward with Artemis playing rear guard to her sisters who were lugging the wounded. In the distance, greater than nine hundred yards away, they could see the guards on the rough hewn wall point in their direction, and the sound of a ram's horn being blown in a call of warning echoed out of the walled city notifying that the scouting unit had been sighted but was going to need cover fire from the walls.

They made it another forty yards before a growl drew Artemis's attention to the right and left of where they had exited off the bluff. There were two separate groups of hell-packs of at least eight great beasts each, leaping down off the upper plateau in an attempt to flank and cut off the fleeing warriors.

Artemis's eyes grew larger, and she sprinted forward to offer a shoulder in between the two wounded sisters to help carry the load faster.

"/Hurry faster sisters! The hell-pack has multiplied and they are trying to flank us./" Artemis grunted out, slinging her bow over her shoulder and urging the group forward at a faster clip.

Still, they only made it another twenty yards before they realized that the hell-pack would be upon them before they reached the wall.

Donna, youngest daughter of Queen Hippolyta and sister of Diana, looked back over the bloody arm of the wounded Amazon that she held up and her eyes grew fearful, "/We'll never make it! We must find a defensible position!/" The Princess yelled out loudly in Greek so that her party could hear her over the loud sound of the baying hell-pack.

"/There! To the left, that little hillock that rises up ten feet above the plain. We must reach that if we don't want to be overrun./" Artemis yelled out.

The Amazons put on a boost of speed, pulling out energy from that deep core that can only be tapped into in true life or death situations.

They reached the hill, dropped the two badly wounded amazons, and the three healthy warriors pulled swords and went back to back with the wounded in their middle. Donna and Antopia pulled round bronze and gold etched shields with scenes of the goddess of the hunt on them, while Artemis pulled a two handed sword from her back, a long double edged blade.

The hell-pack was quickly on them, but confronted with hard armor and sharp blades the beasts howled in fury and surrounded the hill instead of charging their prey. Circling, vicious clawed feet tearing up the red soil beneath their four legs, toothy maws dripping with spit while being licked by long greenish grey tongues, and long reptilian tails lashing behind them, the hell-pack snarled at their cornered prey and edged closer.

"/The odds aren't good./" Donna muttered under her breath in Greek as she continued to keep her head moving, keeping the periphery of her vision free so that she could best pick up any sudden movement that might signal the charge by the hell-pack.

Antopia, the most lighthearted of the group chuckled darkly, "/Well, at least it can't get any worse./"

The frantic blowing of the ram's horn from the wall in three note bursts was repeated, and Antopia's eyes grew large before she looked apologetically at Donna. "/Um, oops./" She told her princess.

Artemis growled under her breath but didn't bother to answer. In the distance a rumbling was herd, a rumbling that turned into a shaking in the earth as over the bluff spilled the feeding frenzy of millions of ground bound demons and fliers of all sizes.

Those demons that had not eaten their fill of the falling tentacle beast from the sky were thundering towards the next closest source of soft flesh, right towards the Amazons and the dripping trail of flesh blood from the wounded warriors.

The hell-pack tensed, instinctively knowing that if they didn't attack now that they risked losing their meat to other demons.

"/You fight well Artemis, it will be an honor to die by your side Shim'Tar of Bana-Mighdall./" Donna said sincerely with a determined look on her face. Antopia nodded in silent agreement as both Themyscirian Amazons pulled their shields tightly against their arms and readying swords as the thundering of millions of feet and the shaking in the ground grew closer and louder.

"/You too Princess and Antopia. Die with honor Amazons./" Artemis said grimly, behind her on the ground the one barely conscious and badly wounded Bana-Mighdall Amazon pulled out her dagger and dragged herself over to cover the unconscious and wounded Themyscirian sister.

With a growl the hell-pack leapt as one, and thousands of pounds of claws, horns and fangs attacked the trapped Amazons.

"ZAPPPPPP!"

A flash of blue light overhead illuminated the leaping hell-beast, distracting the ones that had been heading towards the shield wielding Amazons while giant metal feet crushed the neck and spine of the two leaping hell-pack that had been attacking Artemis.

The crunch of metal and flesh echoed around the hillock, but even the sudden presence of a giant metal monster didn't halt the hell-pack in their attack.

However the "Fwick… FWOOOOOOOSH!" of a giant flamethrower igniting and sending forth a forty foot wall of flames, yeah that one did phase the beasts a bit…

* * *

Xander entered the hell-dimension in a flash of light as he realized he was falling.

'_Just once I'd like to end up nicely planted on the ground when I transport into a new dimension.'_ Xander groused to himself as he looked down.

'_Don't complain, it beats appearing planted IN the ground. Better over it than under it.'_ Xander's inner voice of logic added his two cents, and Xander silently agreed with that logic.

As he looked below at the ten foot gap between the Dreadknight's feet and the ground, the world seemed to slow down as he realized he was about to fall on top of two demons who seemed to be jumping in slow motion towards a group of surrounded Amazons.

In a second, Xander sent out the command to his AI system to activate weapons, only to get no response.

'_Jarvis! Jarvis are you there!' _Xander frantically communed with his armor, only to realize that the artificial intelligence of the Grey Knight armor hadn't survived the trip.

Still communing at the speed of thought with his computer system, via the nano-clanks in his body, Xander quickly order, '_Manual override code! Alpha Twinkie Twinkie God I Hope This Works.'_

The hum of the nano-clanks in Xander's brain clicking into high gear was almost audible as an electric shiver went down Xander's spine.

No longer was the now nonexistent AI a buffer between Xander and the armor, instead the armor's sensors had been rerouted to Xander's brain. Its sight was his sight, its hearing was his hearing, its smell was his smell, and god did he wish he couldn't smell the stink of hell that permeated the air.

Xander braced for impact as he positioned his feet to intercept and crush two of the jumping beasts out of the air.

The metal feet of the Dreadknight snapped horns, crushed bones, and pulverized flesh and organs as his colossal weight smashed the two leaping hell-pack out of the air.

With the world in slow motion Xander kept his head moving as the sensor system in his armor and the Dreadknight fed Xander target information.

A brief thought and a swing of his arm brought forth the purifying flame of The Dreadknight, and fire as white as the Amazon's clothing carved a defensive wall that incinerated seven of the hell beasts and left a burning veil of fire behind.

Seven of the hell-pack disappeared in the conflagration of Xander's fury, and the leftover wall of flame gave the amazons a defensive bastion through which attack couldn't come; even if it felt like they were getting sunburned being that close to the fire.

A brief optical zoom saw the gape mouthed shock flash quickly over the face of the red-headed beauty with the pretty eyes and sleek figure, long muscular legs clearly on display under almost a leotard like leather and bronze armor; she was braced for combat with only a loincloth covering from her waist to between her legs at knee level.

The little voice of Xander's libido chimed in excitedly, _'Hey, not bad. You should try to…'_

Xander cut it off with a, '_Not now libido, trying to fight and don't need the distraction. So shut the hell up.'_

The little voice mumbled in the back of Xander's head, _'Fine, jeese dude, way too serious, need to get laid more often and lay off the Sparkbucks.'_ Before it quickly shut up and allowed Xander to fully concentrate.

Across the brawl from Xander, shields were thrust forward, stunning and briefly knocking back the snapping jaws of the attacking hell-pack while swords stabbed out from under the rims of the shield to gut and wound two other beasts.

The Amazons were good, but still would have been no match for the original eighteen hell-pack, and they would have been completely overrun by the oncoming mob of blood hungry demons if they had been alone to face the coming tide.

Enter modern killing technology ala Dreadknight, stage left.

The barrels of Xander's Gatling cannons let out a "BRRRRRRRR!" sound as they sped up to speed. Xander carved his arm through the air with fine precision, stitching a pattern around Donna and Antopia to cut four of the demons in half and ending the melee battle between the Amazons and the hell-pack.

The remaining five hell-pack saw the brutal deaths of their kin and turned to flee across the plain away from the larger grey colored predator that had bested them in a matter of seconds. Yet their escape would not be successful

"DIE DEMONS!" Xander spat in fury, and it bellowed out of the speakers on his armor as his flamethrower flared again, melting demonic flesh and glassing the soil beneath to leave none of the original hunters alive.

The Amazons still seemed to be moving in slow motion as they turned in awe to look up at the metal figure that had saved them from what they thought was certain death. The metal being, bedecked with glaring skulls and flickering fire stared down at them with crimson back lit skull, and the three standing Amazons simultaneously thought that they may have fallen out of the frying pan only to land smack dab in the middle of the fire; the badly wounded but still conscious Amazon decided at that point to use her wounds as an excuse to faint at the fear she felt at the sight of the new monstrosity confronting them.

For Xander on the other hand, data and images were coming at him faster than the normal human mind could track.

Seeing the city in the distance on one side and the oncoming wall of demonic flesh spilling over the bluff, Xander made a snap decision and reached down with the large hand of his Dreadknight exoskeleton while addressing the Amazons through his external speakers.

"Give me your hand if you want to live." Xander stated in English.

Artemis almost stumbled back at the shock of being addressed in a language of Man's world. It was only logical that faced with such a monstrous visage and language of her enemy that instead of accepting she instead pulled her weapon up in front of her to protect her and her sisters.

"WHAT?" Artemis blurted out in a mixture of shock and a little bit of fear, though she would never acknowledged the first.

Xander looked down at her, then briefly spared a glance towards the bellowing mass of evil that was thundering towards them. Looking hurriedly back at the Amazon he repeated through his speaker system, "I said give me your hand if you want to live! I'll carry you all to the city gates; it's the only way you'll make it." He said frantically in the deep booming voice of his armor system.

Artemis turned to look at Donna and the other injured Amazons, Antopia now had a bloody gash running down from her shoulder to her elbow, and a jagged piece of bone was sticking out the side. Donna was helping to put pressure on the wound and had torn off a piece of her shirt to use as a tourniquet. Donna spared a look at Artemis at the silent question in the Shim'Tar's eyes, and then looked at the oncoming horde before addressing the large robotic figure with the gleaming skull looking out of its chest.

"We don't have a choice, we'll come." Donna answered, and Artemis nodded in agreement.

Xander reached down and gently picked up Donna and put her on one shoulder before doing the same with Artemis and Antopia; he was thankful that there wasn't a head on top of the Dreadknight exoskeleton, and the girls had plenty of room to sit on top and even some hydraulic mounts to cling to.

Sweeping up the two now fully unconscious Amazons and cradling them like babies in his huge arms, Xander turned and took off towards the city gates in the distance.

Xander's long loping steps, though not super speed like his copy of The Flash's ability, were dramatically faster than what the oncoming horde could match and he quickly outpaced the leading edge of the demonic mob. A brief thought about trying to fly there faster went through his head, but he didn't think it would be safe with the Amazons barely clinging to the frame of his exo-armor.

As he ran, he spoke to the Amazons, "I am the Grey Knight, sent by the Leviathan to help and I come baring word from Princess Diana to her mother. When we reach the gate you go in and I'll hold them off." He ordered.

The three Amazons riding on top of his armor spared a look for each other before Artemis responded, "There is no way that you can hold off that many demons, and if we open the gates they will overrun the city." She yelled over the rushing wind, the pounding of his metal feet on the hard ground and the roaring of the oncoming monsters of hell.

Xander just gritted his teeth and then growled out his reply, "Don't argue with me girl, if you don't get through that gate your wounded will definitely die."

Reaching the gate, Xander saw faces looking down from the high stone wall and archers were running along its length as pots of boiling steaming substances were rolled forward. Looking at the gate, his optical sensors noted a small guard gate, that was a small door enough for a woman to slid through sideways. From Xander's knowledge from the Heterodyne-verse, where castles and fortresses were much more common, he knew that the small door was referred too as a Wicket.

Donna started to argue back on behalf of her fellow Amazon, but her voice was drowned out by the loud bellow that issued from the speakers on the Grey Knight's armor. "OPEN THE WICKET, I'VE GOT WOUNDED AMAZONS HERE!" His yell nearly deafened the Amazons riding on his armor and shook the Amazons guarding the walls.

Xander bent the Dreadknight armor over at the waist while dropping down to one knee and quickly and gently laid the two injured Amazons down by the wicket as the small door in the gate was unbarred and opened. Several Amazons bearing spears and swords exited the door and quickly formed a perimeter between Xander and the gate while four more Amazons exited with stretchers to tend to the wounded Amazons . Xander finished handing down Donna, Antopia and Artemis, and as he did so he noted that the new Amazonian guards alternated keeping their weapons pointed at him as much as they did the oncoming horde.

Xander gritted his teeth behind his helmet at the threatening and guarded looks the Amazons were giving him, but then again he couldn't fault them as he would probably have reacted the same way if the situations were reversed.

'_There will be time to deal with that later.'_ Xander thought to himself as the whir of servos was heard as he raised back up to his full height and turned back to face the oncoming horde.

"Hurry inside the gates, I will hold them off." Xander said through his external speakers, his voice the low booming of his Darth Vader voice as the sensors of his armor took in the specifics of rapidly approaching demons.

Ignoring everything but the approaching enemies, Xander let loose a blast of fire from his arm mounted flame thrower, laying down a diagonal line of fire extending out and away to the right of him and extending thirty yards away from himself. Then he twisted at the waist and took a step forward with his right leg before raising his arm directing the flamethrower in the opposite direction and letting loose again.

Stepping back, Xander looked over the still burning six foot tall walls of flame that would funnel any demon charging the gate right at him. Xander planted his right foot in the dusty dirt so that his torso was facing the oncoming horde and he mentally commanded, '_Release and lock down pitons_.'

Large spikes connected by long metal cables exploded out of the front and back of the shoulders of Xander's Dreadknight armor, digging deep into the rocky soil and then locking in place as the spikes spread themselves to anchor in place.

Xander had drawn his line in the sand, and if the demons wanted to get to the Amazons, they would have to go through him.

Xander smiled an evil smile as a gleam came to his eyes, and he raised both of the Dreadknight's arms towards the onrushing horde.

"NONE SHALL PASS! BWA HA HA HA HA!" Xander laughed insanely as the twin 30mm Gatling cannons on his arm opened fire.

To the outside world, the incredibly loud sound of the "BRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE…!" was heard as Xander spun the barrels up to full speed, pumping supersonic penetrator rounds comparable to those fired on an A-10 Thunderbolt Warthog at 4,200 rounds a minute, per gun. The power of the guns rocked the mighty armor of the Dreadknight backwards as Xander's armor was pushed back into the ground and the cables of the pitons strained against the backwards force of the recoil.

To Xander, the "BRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE" sound of the spinning and firing cannon barrels was more of an independent "Bang, rotate, Bang, rotate, Bang…" as he tracked the guns in seemingly slow motion to put the cannon rounds to the best effect.

There fifteen hell-cows in a row disappeared in a mist of black blood and gore. The next round obliterated several hell-pack and some long lizard like creatures that looked like overly large alligators, followed quickly by the third round coring from front to back an armored twenty foot long millipede that was as tall as a man. The Gatling cannons alternated shots, and in that less than a heart beat between shots Xander had already tracked the arm mounted weapons towards the next target in the line.

The Amazons at the gate stared between the legs of twenty foot tall Dreadknight and paled at the sight, as the Amazons on top of the wall grew green in the gills due to their better position and view from the heights.

It was as if the leading portions of the stampeding mob exploded into a mist of demonic ichors and splattered tissue; pulped as the supersonic rounds punctured through the first level of flesh and then created a vacuum that tried to pull the creature inside out through the small entrance hole.

The forward fifteen to thirty feet of the demonic hordes simply ceased to exist as Xander laughed his head off while pumping them full of spent uranium rounds. Rounds that didn't dig into the dirt continued to penetrate through the masses or ricochet off the ground to outright destroy or mutilated the ranks of nightmarish creatures behind.

Behind Xander, one Amazon standing before the gate dropped her spear due to her hands growing limp at the spectacle in front of them, and on the walls above several of the toughened female warriors lost their lunch at the sight. The Amazons had heard of the horrible wars and tools of destruction that existed in Man's World, but never before had it been brought home to such an extent exactly how lethal and destructive those finely tuned destructive tools could be.

Then again, the Amazons were in the presence of a true artist, a connoisseur of destruction, for nobody but a Heterodyne would be so twisted as to even design doomsday weapons in his sleep, and nowhere else was there a Heterodyne with Xander's super speed and precision.

Like Rembrandt and his paintbrush, or Michelangelo and marble, Xander's work with his Gatling cannon was the epitome of modern art, each round perfectly placed for the most destruction, and the splatter and fly of blood could have been immortalized in some modern art museum in New York and fit in with the normal forms of "art."

Xander placed each round a set distance to the right of the last shot until he got to the end of the line and then went back the other way. 8,400 rounds were fired in the first minute, each one spaced no less than one foot to the right from the last round and aimed at just the right spot with all of the skill and accuracy of a man merged with machine.

The constant sound of the "BRRREEEEEEE!" was counterpointed to Xander's evil laughter and jokes about killing demons. "BWA HA HA HA HA! There goes Buffy's record, and the last fifty something slayers before her. WA HA HA HA HA HA!" Xander laughed out loud, his voice booming over his speakers and making several Amazons slowly edge towards the Wicket gate.

Xander stitched his guns across the length of the oncoming demons and then back again in the other direction, weaving his arm from side to side as easily as if he was spraying water back and forth from a hose rather than sending hot metal down range with devastating effect.

But still the masses rushed on, further spurred by the increasing scent of blood in the air, the back ranks pushed forward biting and snapping at the other demons around them as they sought a chunk of meat large enough to eat. Among the larger demons in the mob the shorter demons, the snake and rodent like demons that scurried along the ground, darted forward underneath Xander's attack like a plague of so many cockroaches or rats.

Ever forward the demon horde pressed towards Xander and the walls of Themyscira, and still Xander continued to fire and destroy the larger demons in the mob while millions of small fliers or rodents were missed by the independent rounds.

Behind Xander several Amazons darted out of the open Wicket gate and grabbed the stunned Amazons, herding the guards back into the city before slamming and barring the small door against the oncoming mob.

With only a hundred yards left, and still close to a half a million demons charging straight towards Xander, his guns slowed their spin for a moment as his smile grew and he tipped his head to the side in thought, _'Hmm, perfect opportunity to try out the new flechette rounds.'_

'_Oh oh, next time we make the flechette rounds out of exploding darts. Bwa ha ha ha ha. Science demands more destruction!' _The voice of Xander's inner Heterodyne quipped in his mind, and Xander smirked evilly in reply.

A loud "Cha-chunk" sound issued from the Gatling cannons as the ammo switched over to the flechette rounds; rounds filled with little supersonic penetrator darts.

Then the barrels started spinning up to full speed again, and suddenly the air was full the sound of millions of angry bees as the flechette rounds shot out of the barrels only to explode ten yards down range, launching fifty penetrator darts per round.

The Amazons watched aghast as the "BUZZZZZZ'ing" sound was almost painful to the ears and the flock of flying demons and little swarming creatures were torn apart by the terribly humming flesh shredders that launched from Xander's gun. Like piranhas to a cow that wanders into their river, or like some flesh eating plague that leaves only bone, the flechette rounds punched through the air to shred flesh from ligament and bone.

'_Hmm, definitely explosive tips next time, we are leaving behind way too much intact bone on some of those armored demons.'_ The inner voice of Xander's Heterodyne self clinically stated as Xander watched the rain of bloody flying demons drop out of the sky only to be continually shredded on the ground due to the massive spread of the penetrative darts shot-gunning out of Xander's Gatling cannons.

Up and down, from right to left, Xander stitched a zigzag pattern though the still onrushing demons so that he could both swat them out of the air and hinder the mass that was slinking towards him over the ground.

After another minute of constant firing Xander's optical sensors and inner nano-clank systems calculating that the odds were still somewhere around fifty to one-hundred thousand demons left versus the one Xander.

'_At those odds, they don't have a chance, bwa ha ha ha ha!'_ Xander chuckled internally as he gave a herd of hell-cows a spray with two rounds, shredding the twenty something multi-headed demons.

Turning to aim the next grapeshot like flechette round at a pair of large lizard like demons, demons that reminded Xander of the Star War's Dewbacks that the storm troopers rode on across the Dune Sea of Tatooine, Xander was surprised to see an arrow fly through the air and burry itself in the eye of one of the large lizards.

Till now, the Amazons on the walls had been strangely inactive and quiet. Well, they were quiet if you ignored the occasional sound of one of the warrior women throwing up at the sight of Xander's carnage.

* * *

Above Xander on the walls, Queen Hippolyta arrived having been awakened earlier than her allotted guard shift by the loud noise of battle and the screams of the dying demons.

Hippolyta frowned after taking one look at the still onrushing demons. Dressed in golden Greek armor with a long red dyed horse's main plume on her helmet and armed with sword and shield, she looked around at the Amazons who were standing stunned or who were even being sick at the sight of so much carnage. Not since the second week of their time in hell had they faced such a horde and many Amazons, both Bana-Mighdall and Themyscirian, had been sorely wounded or died those first days in hell.

When they had arrived on the plains of this hell no walls existed between the former island home of the Amazons and the throngs of slobbering demons. In an instant, at the call of victory by Circe and transport to this dimension, every Amazon knew that they needed to work together in order to survive. Bana-Mighdall and Themyscirian found themselves back to back and shoulder to shoulder, former enemies were now shield sisters in a battle to the death against an enemy that threatened to annihilate them all.

For two weeks the Amazonians had fought against a horde of hundreds of thousands of demons, both day and night for two weeks without pause until the demon spawn were finally pushed back at a terrible cost. But here and now were the bodies of a similar host splattered across the path to the city, and below her she watched some large robotic being laugh in a very male voice as he destroyed hundreds of thousands of the demonic beasts by himself, and in the space of only minutes.

Hippolyta felt her own gorge rise in her throat as she looked down upon the bloodshed and massacre of the demons. Still, she was a queen, and a queen does not quail in the face of the enemy and for that matter neither should any Amazon warrior.

Around Hippolyta stood stunned Amazons, amazed at the destructive power of the being below them, and happy that he at least seemed to be on their side for the time being. Still, an Amazon warrior should not be stunned by the sight of blood and guts, no matter how much was puddle and pooled before their eyes.

Hippolyta turned and yelled at the Amazons on the wall as she grabbed a bow and arrow out of the hands of a numbly staring archer. "/AMAZONS! For Shame! We are under attack and you stand there staring like a novice not sure which end of the sword to use. Archers! Open fire on the demons!/"

With that, Hippolyta let loose with the arrow from her borrowed longbow; the arrow streaking the eighty yards to bury itself into the eye of one of the large lizard like demons and drop it to the ground where it was subsequently turned into ground meat by another wave of buzzing flechette rounds.

The Amazon archers on the walls gritted their teeth in shame or growled at themselves for loosing themselves at the sight. Hundreds of bows rose as arrows were pulled from quivers and notched before the strings of the bows were drawn back to the ear of the Amazons', and then the flight of whistling arrows darkened the sky over Xander to pierce into the ranks of the oncoming demons.

Hippolyta noted that the large robotic warrior was working to stem the forward movement of the demonic mob, so yelled out a secondary order in Greek, "/Amazons, strike the rear ranks. Put maximum distance in your shot!/"

The archers around her followed the command, raising their bows to aim higher and let loose with scores of arrows that worried the ranks of the demons some one hundred and eighty to two hundred yards away.

Shafts of wood fell like rain among the back ranks halting the forward pressure as demons stopped to snap at painful wounds that struck their flanks, limbs and faces. Here and there a demon would drop from a mortal wound but the biggest significance of the Amazon's attack was that the wounded demons soon were snapping in pain at their neighbors, and soon the demon ranks were a roiling brawl of pissed off beasts fighting each other.

Finally The Grey Knight's attacks were successful in stopping the advance with the assistance of the Amazon's sewing confusion in the mid to back ranks of the horde.

The buzzing sound slowed, and there was a loud "CLUNK" sound before the sound of winches recoiling was heard to issue from the large grey colored and skull bedecked robot.

* * *

Xander's optical sensors informed him that the demons were not pressing forward into his killing zone for the flechette rounds.

Making a split second decision, Xander stopped firing his Gatling cannons and retracted the pitons that had anchored him to the ground. With a loud "CLUNK" the mechanical stabilizer system snapped back together and began to whirr as it retracted into the Dreadknight's shoulder mounts.

With a smile on his lips, Xander said to himself inside his armor, "When you absolutely have to get at the demon's and they won't come to you, do what Buffy does." Xander reached behind his back and grasped the pommel of his huge sword with his left hand and then pulled it forward while activating the giant melee weapon's transporter cutting field.

'_This is going to be fun._' The primal voice almost purred in a deep rumble inside Xander's mind.

"CHARGE!" Xander yelled, and darted forward with his sword point leading while his Dreadknight's ground eating steps shook the earth like miniature earth quakes.

Several of the wounded limping demons in the front looked at the charging behemoth and growled out a challenge towards the Dreadknight, and Xander answered.

"DIEEEEEEEE!" Xander screamed as he took two steps more and then leaped before he met the front ranks of demons that had turned towards him. Up into the air he exploded before coming down spinning like a top, halving the demons closest to him and creating a twenty foot span of death around him with his twelve foot blade.

Smiling evilly to himself, as he continued the spin, Xander pulled the blade closer to his center of gravit as it left a blood trail that swirled into the air. Using his centrifugal momentum Xander raised the barrel of his flamethrower and unleashed hell right into the middle of the demonic swarm.

"BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA! BURN BABY BURN, Disco inferno! BWA Ha ha ha ha ha!" Xander laughed manically, his voice eerily deep and booming coming from his speakers as he painted a circle around him with liquid fury.

Xander marched forward through the flames, sword whistling through the air to decapitate or bisect demons while the upgraded version of the flamethrower on the Dreadknight's armor incinerated demons all around him.

A long armored millipede like demon, covered in what looked like large chitinous plates, rose out of the flames before Xander hissing in pain as the flames lapped at its armored shell.

Xander met the beast face first with the edge of his blade, grinning madly as his blade cut the beast in half and allowed the purifying flames to eat through the soft inner tissues of the demon.

"Run Demons, run from the wrath of The Grey Knight! Bwa Ha Ha Ha Ha!" Xander laughed gleefully as he cut a burning streak through the demons and left a path of death and ashes behind him.

* * *

From the walls, Queen Hippolyta yelled out, "/Cease fire!/" as the still living demons were now out of range of the Amazons' arrows. She and her sister warriors watched as the self proclaimed "Grey Knight" bellowed his way into the mass of demons. From a professionals viewpoint the sword work wasn't the finest she had ever seen, but what the metal being lacked in finesse he made up for it in shear brutality.

Watching from the walls the Amazons had a front row seat as the remains of the demon swarm were destroyed in a holocaust of fire and fury. The liquid fire that issued out of the Grey Knight's weapon were white hot, and the robot left a burning swath of flame. The demons around the Grey Knight burst into flame as the fat in the demons' bodies ignited, causing the flames to leap hire until only the shoulders and upper body of the Grey Knight was seen as he walked through the roaring fire.

From their high vantage point on the walls of Themyscira they saw the demons halt, quivered, and then those evil beasts that remained whole enough to do so turned and fled the interminable march of The Grey Knight and his terrible weapons.

Somewhere in the demons must have been the instinct to run from fire, for even if they hadn't been born with such an instinct, they were now instilled with it by The Grey Knight's attack.

* * *

Xander stopped his attack as the few remaining demons fled from him. Turning and looking around, Xander saw that he was basically standing on a giant funeral pyre as bodies and bones were carbonized and then reduced to ash around him.

'_That'll do Xander, That'll do. Now back to the bevy of beauties on the wall.' _The little voice of Xander's libido said inside Xander's mind.

'_One track mind much?' _Xander quipped back, but there was no anger in his statement, only humor as he smirked and sheathed his sword with a flick that cleansed it of the demonic blood and ichor before it was put away.

'_And damn proud of it, you'll get that harem if it's the last thing I do.'_ Xander's libido replied in Xander's head with a smirk on his face.

Xander only chuckled to himself and turned towards Themyscira and tromped towards the tall walls, it was time to properly meet the Amazons.

Crunching sculls and tromping through the fire like some hell god or greater demon, Xander saw the faces of the Amazon's on the wall grow pensive and several fingered bows and pointed them at him as if he was a new enemy they had to face.

'_Perhaps wearing the armor with skulls and with a helmet with glowing blood red eyes wasn't the best choice for a first meeting between me and Queen Hippolyta, but then again I don't exactly have anywhere to change into a tuxedo.' _Xander thought to himself with a wry smile across his face. He wasn't too worried about the weapons that were being pointed at him, but still this wasn't the warm welcome he was hoping to get.

'_Damn, I forgot to bring the fruit basket, cookies, and house warming gift. Do you think they'll accept dead demons as a, " hi I'm your new neighbor gift?"'_ Xander's inner voice of irony chimed in, making Xander smirk a bit bigger for a moment.

Stomping back to the gate, Xander looked up at the archers pointing arrows at him and his optic sensors focused in on the Amazon with the most decorative armor.

Zooming in, Xander examined the beautiful women above him, and turned to address the Amazon with the plume on her gold helmet; recognizing Hippolyta from his accidental peeping on her in the bathes.

"Greetings Queen Hippolyta," Xander's voice, modified to sound like Darth Vader boomed out in English as he knew she spoke that language. The Grey Knight armor's speakers and the speakers on the larger Dreadknight system that he was riding in clearly getting his message across.

"In accordance with our mutual protection treaty, The Leviathan has sent me to help you and your kin here in this hell dimension while your daughter and The Leviathan's forces hunt for Circe. I have come to give you aid." Xander spoke in the guise of the Grey Knight and not as he was want to normally speak.

There was no immediate answer as the Amazons looked at him like he was crazy, and Hippolyta stared at him blank faced for a moment before slowly answering, "We welcome aid if what you say is true, better late than never. However where have you been for the last year that we have struggled in this hell, and how do we know that you are not some greater demon sent to destroy us as you did those lesser beasts?" The Queen asked snappily, her eyes fiery as she looked down at him.

The Queen's voice and demeanor reminded Xander of whenever Cordelia would get imperious and demanding, and it grated on his nerves. Xander gritted his teeth; this didn't seem to be going so well.

"My apologies for coming late, but only a week had passed since you disappeared from your home dimension, time must flow differently in this dimension. As for your concerns as to my being a demon, I can assure that I am human under this armor." Xander wasn't interested in getting undressed from his armor in the middle of an open expanse of hell, so it was understandable that he didn't shuck his armor right then and there to prove that he was a bona fide human being.

Queen Hippolyta squinted down at The Grey Knight and responded between her teeth, "Spoken like a true deceiver, for I see nothing about your figure that would beget me to believe that you were human, nor have you given any sort of proof that you come from where you claim."

Xander grumbled under his breath but didn't broadcast on his speakers, "God damn it, not another Queen C, or I guess Queen H in this case." Xander mumbled curse words under his breath as he rested the arms of the Dreadknight system into a parked position and then closed his eyes for a moment as he drove his mind into the machine around him via his nano-clanks.

Cords and hoses disconnected from inside the Dreadknight's crew compartment with a hiss and the cords slithered back into the base of the skull helmet of the Grey Knight armor.

Twisting his wrists and pulling on the release handles, the armored chest piece of the Dreadknight exoskeleton split down the center chest armor seam, bisecting the black painted skull with the trilobite in the middle that had been painted on the Dreadknight.

Xander opened his eyes and glared up at Queen Hippolyta as he floated out of the cradle in the Dreadknight system and then landed lightly on his feet. As he reached the ground, Xander reached up to his helmet and gave it a twist and mentally commanded the seals and locks to release, and they did with a series of clicks and pneumatic hisses.

The helmet of the grey knight 'clicked' and came off easily under Xander's grasp, revealing his handsome good looks and chiseled jaw to the view of the Amazon's on the wall. The putrid stench of death mixed with the hot sulphurous air of the hell dimension hit Xander like a wave as he took off his helmet, but he remained stoic in the face of the Amazons staring down at him.

"There, happy?" Xander quipped with a glare back up at Queen Hippolyta and the Amazons that were staring stunned down at him.

"You're a man!" Was spat out from next to Queen Hippolyta. Everybody turned to look at who had shouted it out, and Xander saw that it was the beautiful redhead that he had saved earlier, now standing next to a younger Amazon who looked a lot like Queen Hippolyta.

Xander smirked up at the redhead, "Was that a statement or a question? I'm not about to divest myself of the rest of my armor to prove my masculinity." Xander quipped.

The redhead blushed, and then looked angry that she had been teased in front of the other Amazons, and by a man at that, "We don't need a MAN to help us. We don't need your protection!" She spat out at him, anger in her eyes. The way she said the word "Man" made it sound like she was disgusted to even have the word pass her lips.

"Reeeaaally?" Xander asked, tapping his chin in mock thought as he looked up at her, "I seem to remember you needing my help a little while ago, or is your memory so short that you don't remember me saving your life just over there?" Xander finished by pointing with a thumb over his shoulder at the hillock that was covered in the remains of dead demons, the same hillock where the unit of Amazons had made a last stand.

Xander was growing beyond frustrated. Here he had come all the way to the hell dimension, fought off a slavering horde of countless demons and this was the greeting that he got?

His attention was drawn back to the Amazon whose life he had saved. "I will never owe a life debt to a mere Man!" She spat defiantly, using the word "man" like a curse word.

"Silence!" Hippolyta cut off the redhead's tirade with a slicing gesture with her hand. The Bana-Mighdall redhead glared defiantly at the Queen of the Themyscirian Amazons, but didn't continue her speech towards Xander.

"Who are you man child, and why did my daughter not come with you to protect her people?" Hippolyta demanded of Xander.

Xander's face visibly reddened, and he bit his tongue so as not to answer back with the first fifteen or so retorts that shot through his mind at being insulted by these women. These Amazons were an infuriating mix of Cordelia Chase and her haughtiness crossed with Buffy and her mentality that since she was the slayer and Xander the mere human, they were better than he was.

Xander ground his teeth together and answered darkly, "I see that the fabled honor of the Amazons is lacking in truth, as for who I am, my name is Alexander, or you may call me The Grey Knight, but ally or not you will not call me Man child again."

Xander could see the Queen darken at his rebuke, but he continued, raising his voice over anything she would have liked to add. The Amazons on the walls were clearly not pleased by his response as they glared at him also.

"As for your daughter, she would not have survived the means by which I was able to transport here to this hell dimension. Diana told me to send her love to her mother as her message when we parted. Now Queen Hippolyta, will you please allow me entrance into your city so that I can deliver the supplies that I brought with me?" Xander finished asking, trying to be polite and choking back on how he really wanted to respond. He wasn't use to the outright insults and not being able to react in kind, but then again he wasn't The Leviathan here and it would kind of be counterproductive to kick the Amazon's combined asses, especially given the fact that he was there to help protect them.

Queen Hippolyta's eyes flashed angrily at Xander's rebuke of her honor, no matter how true of a fact that he had just saved the lives of several Amazons and held off an overwhelming tide of attacking Demons.

"No," Hippolyta stated, and she saw Alexander bristle at her answer. "You may leave what supplies you brought us at the front gate, but no man may set foot on the Island of Themyscira." She commanded.

Xander's jaw dropped, and then he closed his mouth with a click before waving around him angrily, "Does this look like a bloody Island to you Queen Hippolyta? We're on the freaking plains of hell, and you would deny access to an ally who traveled multiple dimensions just to help you, all because he is of the male gender?"

"I have ruled, and so shall it be." Hippolyta answered haughtily looking down at him firm jawed, she had sworn she would never trust another man again after what Hercules had done to her so long ago.

Xander just stared up at her and the other Amazons.

Finally Xander answered, "Fine, if you will be petty, then so shall I." He spat out before putting his helmet back on and starting to float back into the cradle of the Dreadknight armor. His voice continued, now coming out in the booming voice of Darth Vader, a deep voice that added further flavor to his displeasure with the Amazon's statement.

"If you will not allow me to enter, then so be it. None of my assistance will enter your city without my being given permission to enter as well." Xander announced as the chest plates of the Dreadknight system clanked shut and sealed him inside its protective embrace.

"For now, you will have to be content with me protecting you from the exterior of your wall." Xander announced via his speakers as he turned around, Dreadknight armor and supply bags included and started to walk back towards a small hillock that was a good fifty yards from the walls of Themyscira and thankfully devoid of dead demons.

"How will you protect a whole city from outside?" The redhead yelled after him, a bit mockingly.

Xander turned his Dreadknight armor to face the redhead who stood next to the Queen, and his eyes flashed red.

Many of the Amazons took a hesitant step back or gripped their weapons tighter as the armored man's red eyes flashed angrily from inside the skull like helmet.

The Grey Knights voice ground out in reply, "Why the easy way of course. Do try not to step over the red line, I'd hate for any of you to get injured or die."

With that, the Dreadknight armor turned and commenced walking towards the hillock.

In the city of the Amazons, resting in its place in hell, the Amazons wondered what The Grey Knight meant by "The easy way" and whether his statement regarding the red line and getting hurt was a statement… or a threat.

* * *

**AN: Freaking long chapter, and now its Xander versus the powers of hell… they don't have a chance. Bwa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Ok, let me know what you think. Cheers!**


	34. Chapter 34: Women Woe Be Unto Men

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN1. Well, honestly this chapter was almost completely finished for the last several months, but I just didn't have it in me to tie it off and get it to the beta. Hopefully the malaise is gone and my muse can be firmly back in place. I'm not abandoning any of my stories and should get back to writing on a more regular basis. With that said, I hope you enjoy the chapter, short though it may be at roughly 9k words. I figured you would rather get something rather than nothing until I added more. With that said, enjoy, pip pip and all that rot. **

**AN2: Life decided to give my family and me multiple swift kicks to the gut right in a row. First it was the six year old niece with cancer, then the cousin graduated from high school only to die the next day, the day after we buried my cousin the niece passed away, and now the aunt has cancer, the grandfather's Alzheimer's is coming to term and the father had a heart attack… But how are you? Suffice it to say I haven't been in the writing mood for a while. **

**But enough of the morbid junk and back to the fun world of Xander trapped in hell, oh the joy. Wait, maybe that isn't good either? Oh well, he'll have to deal with it.**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 34: Women = Woe Be Unto Men**

"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Woe be unto any man who wrongfully scorns a woman's love or spurns her heartfelt utterances. It can be argued that a woman's heart is the strongest muscle in her body, thus it is no wonder that women have such a great capacity for both love and care. It can be equally understood that if you anger a woman then that incredibly powerful heart can hold a grudge that will endure the ravages of time. A perfect example of the grudge holding was the Amazon nation and Queen Hippolyta. For once, many centuries ago even, Hippolyta fell in love with the Greek hero Hercules but was betrayed and enslaved by Hercules and his army of men. Thus because of a few poor examples of men the Amazons continued to hold a grudge against all men.

A woman scorned is a terrible thing, prone to catty replies and cold shoulders. However the really frightening thing is not a woman scorned but rather a woman who was cock blocked. When you interfere with a woman's romantic and passionate weekend with an exciting man of her dreams, it goes beyond tidings of great woe, catty replies and cold shoulders and enters the realm of "Run for your life!" and "Protect the family jewels!" This is what Ra's al Ghul was about to learn, or at least one of his safe houses in Gotham was about to suffer for.

Four stories above Gotham City's streets, Catwoman slinked out of the open penthouse skylight of the large brownstone mansion that was a mirror image of the row of other brownstones on that particular street. Covered by the dark of night, the only illumination that could give away the position of the dark leather clad figure was the brief glimpses of moonlight that poked out of the smoggy clouds that covered Gotham.

Turning with a smirk, Catwoman fished into a little bag that was clipped to her utility belt, and pulled out a simple Zippo lighter; the type of all steel lighter that is a step above the plastic disposable Bic lighters found at gas stations, but not ostentatious enough to be distinguishable from other metal lighters. In effect, the lighter was a throw away.

Flicking the flint wheel with a clawed thumb, Selena Kyle smiled a catty sneer and flicked the lighter towards the open skylight.

The flaming lighter never reached the opening, as a spinning black blade shaped like a bat flew from the shadows and intercepted the lighter; both the lighter and the batarang clattering to the concrete roof.

A voice from the shadows added, "Well now, I never thought of you as the arsonist kind of criminal Catwoman."

Catwoman turned her head with a sardonic smile and glanced to her right where a figure with a black mask and a black and blue colored body suit stepped out of the shadows caused by the chimney of the brownstone mansion.

"Oh you know, little bit of this, little bit of that. Whatever takes the cat's fancy, you understand." Catwoman stated with a smirk and a gesture with her right hand while cocking her hip to the left and resting her left hand on her hip as she turned and faced Nightwing

Nightwing, aka Dick Grayson, the Batman's former apprentice and now solo crime fighter of the extended "Bat family" smirked at her. "So what, the pretty kitty is playing with fire now?" Dick questioned as he casually walked about five feet in front of Catwoman and stopped to face her with a smile.

Catwoman merely smiled and started to strut forward toward Dick, stiletto heels which could cover a cavernous marble floored room without so much as a whisper were instead making definite clicking sounds as she swayed towards him seductively.

"Oh, isn't that just so precious, the bat must have put you in charge tonight, didn't he?" Selena Kyle questioned and made a slight lick of her lips.

Nightwing made a subconscious swallow as the moonlight peaked out of the clouds and illuminated every curve and line of Catwoman's strut as she walked right up to him and stopped mere inches from his face with her bright red lips so tantalizingly close.

Swallowing against the dryness in his mouth, Dick tried to give her a dashing smile and quipped in reply, "Yes, the city is mine to handle tonight." Nightwing stressed the word 'handle.'

Catwoman's smile quirked a bit bigger and she winked at Dick, "Oh, so you think you can handle a widdle pussy cat do you?" She questioned as she lightly laid first her right and then her left hand on his shoulders.

Dick could only nod in agreement as he felt that the collar of his Nightwing outfit was suddenly a little tight, but simultaneously he was thankful that the spandex armor suit allowed growth in other areas.

Leaning forward slowly towards Dick, Selena whispered seductively in his ear, "Well, I only have one thing to say to that…"

With a brutal pull and a crunch with her newly armored kneecap into Dick's manhood, Catwoman literally lifted Nightwing off the ground with the force of her groin shot.

Dick's eyes went crossed and rolled up into his head before he fell limp to the ground and vomited in pain in between moans while cupping his already swelling manhood; for armor that leaves growth room to stretch can stretch in the opposite direction also.

"Bad Puppy, young pups should learn not to tangle with older cats with claws." Catwoman chastised with a smirk on her lips as she waggled her finger at the downed Dick Grayson holding his injured Doc Johnson. "Besides, I've recently come to learn that you bat boys aren't so much dark and handsome as dark and angsty. Angst gets my dander up, so no no, bad puppy. Oh, and I'd get off the roof soon, Ra's al Ghul's safe house below us is about to go up in flames. Nobody messes with Catwoman and gets away without a scratch."

The last was said over her shoulder with a casual gesture of her hand gracefully waving a goodbye to the hero who was in no position to give chase.

Smirking, she bent down and picked up the Zippo lighter that had been extinguished by the force of the batarang. Flicking the lighter, she threw it through the open sky light of the brownstone and was answered with a satisfying "Whoosh!" of flames and heat as the accelerator that she had spread in a trail from basement to ceiling ignited a path through the house and immediately caused it to catch fire.

Smirking a Cheshire grin and she waved goodbye at Nightwing.

"Ta ta bat boy, you might want to get off the roof, it's about to get a bit toasty up here." She said in parting, and then with a snap of her whip she was off the brownstone's roof and swinging and leaping across the rooftops.

Dick pushed himself up off the roof as the glass skylight a few feet away from him shattered due to the heat and then smoke and fire started licking out of the hole in the roof.

Barely freeing a hand from his injured balls, Nightwing aimed one of his gadget filled gauntleted hands at a nearby taller building and a grapple line shot out and then pulled Dick clear of the burning building.

Dick groaned as the "Snap, Yoink!" of the grappling line pulled him off the roof jostled his swelling twig and berries.

Landing with a thump in the alley underneath his targeted grapple, Dick fell to his knees and coughed several times while activating his bat communicator.

"Batman…" Dick spoke, only to stop when his voice broke and went up several octaves for a second. "*Cough cough*, um, Batman, come in Batman, this is Nightwing."

"Batman here, this is Nightwing's signal, but it doesn't sound like Nightwing." Batman's voice echoed out of the communicator.

Dick grimaced as he replied, "It's Dick, *cough*, Catwoman got the jump on me and got away, said something about Ra's al Ghul's safe house right before she torched it. *Cough* which is burning at my location." Nightwing finished by panting as he tried to hold any remnants of his early meal down while trying to stop the cold sweat that had broken out at the power of Catwoman's blow to Dick's masculinity.

"Hmmm, roger. Gotham FD has been notified to the fire and should be there in a minute. Oh and Nightwing." Batman responded.

"Yes Batman." Nightwing answered in between coughs.

"You're old enough to wear a cup these days. Get yourself back to the cave; Alfred will have a bag of ice waiting for you." Batman answered, and Dick swore there was a hint of a smile in Bruce Wayne's voice.

Nightwing grimaced. They didn't call Batman one of the greatest detectives ever without a reason, and putting together Nightwing's voice change, coughs and the statement about Catwoman getting the jump on Dick seemed to be enough for Batman to work out what had happened. It was either that, or Batman had learned from experience when dealing with Catwoman, not that Bruce would ever admit to it though.

"Roger, returning to the cave, *cough*. Nightwing out." Dick grimaced as he shuffled back to his feet and over to his Motorcycle and then groaned as he looked at his ride home.

"This is going to suck," Nightwing moaned as he barely was able to throw a leg over his motorcycle and then winced as he eased himself into the saddle of the high powered crotch rocket. "Owwwww, now I know why Batman has the batmobile instead of the motorcycle." Dick groaned.

As the motorcycle rumbled to life and drove off into the night, it wasn't quite clear what was louder, the hum of the engine, or the constant groaning of its rider.

As Nightwing disappeared, the roof of the brownstone collapsed and embers were launched into the air as residents flooded the streets along with yelling firemen who pumped water and chemical fire suppressants into the building.

Still the heat was too much for the firefighters to fully combat, and they were going to lose the building. The heat was so high, in fact, that a highly protected amulet that Ra's al Ghul had come across in his travels, a highly magical amulet that he had picked up in the Greek isles some five hundred years ago, actually flared to life and then melted in a release of the magical energies that it held.

The burst of magic was like a contained explosion, bursting outwards until it reached the boundaries of the building it had formerly been protecting from scrying, and then the explosive magical force sucked back in with a giant "POP!"

The release of magical power destroyed everything in the building as it imploded. Thankfully the magical implosion took the fire with it, but it left behind stunned and startled firefighters along with a crowd of neighborhood residents who didn't know what it was they had seen.

However Gotham City functioned very much like Sunnydale in Xander's old universe, for the residents and peace keepers of the city realized that if they were faced with something weird or supernatural and they didn't understand it, then they were better off forgetting and not getting involved. Thus Gotham's equivalent to Sunnydale Syndrome struck and soon the streets emptied of fire fighters and gawking spectators.

* * *

Meanwhile on the other side of the globe in Romania, a klaxon blared loudly in a ready room deep inside of the Arcanic University.

Jägers who had been sitting down playing cards, wrestling on the floor for whatever reason, playing video games about world domination or sleeping on the bunks all stopped their activities and darted towards the heavily armed suits of armor that lined the length of one wall.

"Finezly, ve getz da do da bashings of headz." One male Jägerkin said with a smirk to his companion as he stepped into the lower portion of the Mark IX armor that bore the Grey Knight's crest on it. The latest version of the armor had magical runes and sigils etched all over the exterior of the black armor; runes that glowed an eerie mix of green and red and made the armored Jägers look more like magical golems than the shock troops that they really were.

"Yas, itz vill be goodz to sinks my claws inta someding dat is a challenge." The female Jäger replied with a teasing wink at the first Jägerkin.

The first male Jäger stopped midway to putting his helmet on and pouted at the female Jäger, a look that on a Jägerkin's face would only be attractive to another Jägermonster. "Dat vould be deserzing of da, Hey nowz!"

The female Jägerkin blew a kiss at the first, and put her helmet on while around them in the room the other Jägermonsters that made up the Leviathan's first Magical Defense Platoon laughed joyfully while they suited up.

The Jägers all quickly shut up though when a voice boomed across the room, "Attenz huttz, Ofsifer onz da deck!"

All fifty of the Jägermonsters finished sealing up their armor and came to attention as Alec Holland, the former Swamp Thing, tromped into the room in the flowing green leathered long jacket and uniform of an Imperial Guard Commissar but with the emblem of The Leviathan on his uniform hat and armored chest plate.

Behind Alec were four sorcerers wearing long black cloaks with hoods that covered their faces and hands. These were the platoon's war mages, magic users who were given special dispensation to let loose with more destructive magic, but in line with the Leviathan's goals in trade for his protection. At the sorcerers' sides dangled leather bound books with Arcanic writing emblazoned in the same red and green glowing runes as was on the Jäger's armor. The only differentiating characteristic of the group of four magic users was that one carried a staff with a vampire's skull impaled on a spike on the top of it; the symbol of The Leviathan etched in gold into the forehead of the demonic skull. The staff served as both the battle standard and a powerful magical tool, for it was the unit's necromancer who wielded it.

"This is not a drill people! Five minutes ago we had a confirmed burst of magic associated with the Greek goddess Hecate." Alec informed his gathered troops, marching up in front of them and then back again, a stoic look on his green tinted features.

"We don't know if it is in fact Circe, but if it was then we should probably expect a trap as she hasn't released this amount of power since we started tracking her. We will expect a trap and go in hot." Alec said stopping and looking over his troops as he swiveled his head back and forth. "You are authorized to use anything up to lethal force, but the Leviathan wants this witch alive if possible. Are we agreed?"

"Yez Sirz!" Boomed in reply from the combined Jägerkin through their speaker systems.

Alec looked at the magic users and three of them nodded readily. Alec squinted and glared at the dark shadow that hid the Necromancer's face from view, and finally the Necromancer nodded in grudging agreement.

Alec nodded back and then commanded, "Ok, open us a portal, first squad Jägerkin goes first!" Alec commanded and waved his arm at the wall behind the Jägerkin. Five green colored transporter portals expanded into life, each big enough for five armored Jäger's to walk through abreast.

The Jägermonsters immediately turned, pulled assault rifles and twenty five of them dived through the entrance, a split second later to be followed by the second group of twenty five armored Jäger's and then Alec and the four war mages.

* * *

Alec stepped through the glowing doorway not knowing what he would find on the other side, only to find himself standing with fifty heavily armed and ready for action Jägers with nothing to do.

Alec looked around at the empty Gotham city street and frowned, as the only movement he saw was a late night resident of a neighboring brownstone who quickly pulled her shades closed.

Suddenly, one of the Jägers summed up the feelings of the entire group, "Dratz! Allz drezzed up for da party, anz nobodies herez ta dance vith." The Jäger said in sorrow at not being able to fight.

"You're not alone in your frustration." Came a feminine voice from above.

Fifty guns swung around to point at the air, muzzles humming a green color as one mage raised his hand and a blast of light exploded ten feet above the platoon before a golden magical shield snapped in place to protect the platoon. A black vortex appeared to circle around the black staff of the necromancer as everybody focused upwards.

Alec's eyes got large, and he shouted, "Hold your fire!"

"BANG!.. TING!" One of the guns discharged in a blast and a high powered projectile shot from the assault weapon of a lone Jäger, only to be deflected by the bracelet of Wonder Woman who was floating down to their level.

Wonder Woman frowned, Alec frowned, and the entire platoon turned to stare at the Jäger who had fired at their ally.

"Vhat? Allz I heardz vas da vord Fire." The Jäger shrugged and held his gun and free hand up at shoulder height, somehow looking apologetic even with the armor on.

"Dummkopf." One of the other Jägermonsters said and knocked the idiot Jäger upside the helmet.

Alec glared at the Jäger before turning to look at Wonder Woman, "Greetings Amazon, any luck in finding Circe?"

"Greetings Alec Holland, and no." Wonder Woman stated with a frown as she touched down on the ground softly outside the golden shield that surrounded the platoon of forces belonging to the Leviathan.

Alec looked over his shoulder at the war mages and shook his head, and the sorcerer creating the magical shield nodded and the magic shield winked out of existence. Immediately the street was much darker than it had been, as the smoggy air of Gotham seemed to suck away the light shining from the armor and the street lamps.

"Stand down but keep vigilant, troops." Alec ordered, and the platoon spread out to search the gap in between the remaining brownstones that lined one side of the street. Alec turned his attention fully to Diana of Themyscira.

"What can you tell me about your search for the witch?" Alec asked. Alec Holland had been the liaison between the Justice League, Wonder Woman, and the Leviathan's forces in the hunt for Circe ever since Xander had first contacted Batman regarding the disappearance of Themyscira.

"She still eludes us, and every time I let her survive our past encounters galls me now." Wonder Woman growled and her eyes flashed angrily. She continued and waved her hand at the missing building, wires and pipes of sewage simply cut off from where a foundation and basement of a building used to be. "This was the closest we had come to tracking her, or at least the power of Hecate."

Alec turned and looked silently at where the building was missing from what had no doubt been a seamless group of brownstone mansions built wall against wall.

"Dr. Fate sent me notice that an emanation of Hecate's magic had been located here, so I teleported into Gotham and flew the remaining distance." Wonder Woman explained.

The former swamp thing turned his head to the side and looked at Wonder Woman with a question in his eyes, "Dr. Fate? I've not worked with him yet. Who is this doctor?"

"Who is a good question regarding the doctor." Wonder Woman replied and she turned her inspection of the missing building to Alec while crossing her arms. "Dr. Fate is a sorcerer of the magical powers of order. He sometimes helps the Justice League when we are faced with magical threats." She explained, and then added with a negligent flip of her hand. "He wasn't there for your initial meeting with the League because he was busy tracking some agent of chaos that has eluded him for months now while apparently changing the ripples of the future, or at least that's his explanation."

Alec's eyebrow ticked, as when somebody mentions an agent of chaos the former Swamp Thing immediately thought about Xander. Being a brilliant scientist himself, Alec Holland was able to put two and two together quiet easily, but as all good scientists, it was always smart to do further tests on a hypothesis.

In a nonchalant manner, while not looking at Wonder Woman, Alec asked casually, "Oh, well good that he is helping then. I assume that means he found his agent of chaos?"

"No, apparently the chaotic what-ever has disappeared from his sphere of observation…or something like that." Wonder Woman said frowning at the missing building.

"Ah, well no sense in staying around here then. We'll be packing up and going back home, don't want to taunt the Bat any more than necessary by being loose in 'HIS' city." Alec added the last part with a smirk at Wonder Woman out of the corner of his eye.

"Ha! You have no idea how much The Leviathan drives Batman up the wall." Diana replied with a chuckle before again remembering her Amazonian sisters and the situation they were all in. "I'll be going also, fare thee well Alec." With that, she took to the skies and flew away without even waiting for a response.

"Farewell Princess." Alec responded before turning to his troops. "Ok Platoon, mount up, we are heading home." Then with a wave of his arm a portal opened up and the Jägers lined up and marched through, the sorcerers in a group between the two platoons, and Alec bringing up the rear.

However, before Alec could step through the portal back to Romania, a tickle of his senses called to him from the earth at his feet.

Turning suddenly, Alec looked to the east, as what he had felt were emanations from the Green, but not the type that came from the plants and earth around him but the type that came from another intelligent being that communed with the earth. The sense, almost like distant bells that called to him, felt decidedly feminine. For a second, Alec Holland, former Swamp Thing and earth and nature elemental, felt a longing to seek out that source. It called to his loneliness, to his heart.

Shaking himself, Alec brought his senses back to the present, back to the asphalt street and the smoggy skies around him. Whatever it was that called to him would bare looking into, but it would have to wait as lives were still on the line.

With that, Alec shook his head again and stepped through the portal back to The Leviathan's Empire. Alec only hoped that after Xander and the Amazons returned safely to their home dimension that he would have a chance to explore the call that the Green was sending him.

* * *

Safe was a relative term where Xander and the Amazons were concerned. Yes the hell dimension itself was deadly, but in reality the most imminent threat of danger didn't come from the hell dimension they found themselves in, it was from the contents of Xander's supply packs.

'_No respect at all.' _Xander mentally groused to himself with a fierce scowl on his face behind his helmet. _'You come all the way to help out a lady, and does she say thank you? No. You save her daughter's life, and does she say thank you? No!'_

Xander had just finished verbally sparring with Queen Hippolyta and her rabid fellow support group of Man-hater's Anonymous and lugged his stuff to a broad hillock that looked like it had been a shallow volcanic crater at one time. The sloped bowl shaped hillock made a natural defensive structure outside the walls of Themyscira and would hopefully provide Xander and his campground some protection from the slavering hordes of demons that trolled the ground and plagued the skies of this hell dimension.

"_Patience Xander.' _Xander's inner voice of reason cautioned. _'The Amazons have separated themselves on their island for centuries without contact with men, and don't get me started on the Bana-Mighdall Amazons who look at men as only breeding stock or slaves when they aren't outright trying to kill all men. Be thankful that it was only angry words they were throwing back at you.'_

'_Fuck that! You don't need to take that crap. I say take over the city and gut those who stand in your way. They want to whine and moan about how bad a guy can treat them, I say give them something to really complain about!' _The Primal growled viciously, adding his opinion to the discussion.

Xander frowned even larger, '_Shut up primal! I've never killed a girl before and I'm not about to start by wiping out a bunch of women just because they insulted me. You remind me of Tony and his statements about beating respect into people. Keep up this bullshit and I'll make sure to exorcise whatever remains of you as soon as I get back to the DC dimension.' _Xander threatened.

The Primal spirit growled, but shut up as the other voices in Xander's head all turned and glared at the intruding spirit that had become a part of Xander.

Stomping the heavy feet of his Dreadknight exoskeleton over the rusty red soil of the plain of hell, Xander tromped up the slope to his campground. Xander's targeted resting place was some fifteen feet raised above the surrounding plain that made up the valley where Themyscira was currently located.

Finally reaching his target, Xander pivoted his Dreadknight to look around the bowl of the crater and then went about pushing any of the larger rocks in the crater to the sides so that Xander would have a level spot to unpack.

The voices in Xander's head started arguing about what to do and how to go about addressing the problem with the Amazons and the fact that if Xander wasn't in Themyscira when it went home, then he would be left behind.

"Enough!" Xander spat verbally so that his voices would just shut up. "I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to figure out what the heck to do with the Amazons later, but for now all of you shut up so that I can concentrate on getting the campground safe so that we can actually survive the night." Xander said out loud to himself as he parked the Dreadknight and then triggered the exoskeleton to shut down.

Mumbled acceptance and a few apologies were made in his head but Xander tuned it out in order to concentrate on getting the first step in his protection ready.

The carapace of the Dreadknight's crew compartment opened and Xander floated out of it in his Grey Knight armor until his feet touched the ground.

Looking around, Xander sighed for a second to calm his mind and then closed his eyes. Muttering under his breath to himself he said, "Alright then, let's see what the damage was with the loss of Jarvis."

Xander's mind delved into the computer systems of his suit, his thoughts merging into series of binary ones and zeros as he delved his mind into the code that was supposed to contain the artificial intelligence of Jarvis as well as the control mechanisms for the armor… and it didn't look good.

'_Hmmm, all systems and programs that relied on Jarvis are completely gone, as if somebody took a big hatchet and just severed the AI from the suit's computers.'_ Xander thought as he communed through his nano-clanks to the computer built into his suit. _'I can band-aid there… hmmm, if I reroute that path through this tree over here I can set life support and maintenance systems to automatic without any real intelligence controlling it… well crap, my music databases are gone, and there goes the auto-doc and auto repair functions… mental note, don't get hurt.' _Xander went through the list of problems and categorized them on level of seriousness. Out of the things he was going to miss the most, the auto repair and automatic medical aid systems were probably going to be the worst losses, though he had a thought that he may go stir crazy without any music and without anybody to really talk to at his solo campground.

Xander's eyes opened again as he sighed, his sensors again told him that he was still alone at his campground. Blinking his eyes purposefully, Xander momentarily wrote a code program that would put his sensors on auto alarm if a life presence got within eighty meters of him, otherwise it looked like it would be up to Xander to keep a look out for danger.

"Fine then, now that the armor situation is dealt with as best as we can get; what next?" Xander asked rhetorically as he looked around his still barren campground. Turning a circle to look at Xander's little slice of hell, Xander noticed the flutter of his black cape out of the side of the sensor image.

Smiling, Xander continued to talk to himself, "Finally, some good news to this crappy day…" Xander paused and thought about his last statement, then his smile got larger and he shrugged to himself, "Ok, so slaughtering the demons was a lot of fun, but still."

Raising his hand to the neck of his Armor, he detached the two skull-like broach clips that held the cape to his armor and pulled off the cloak so that it was hanging from his hand, dangling in front of him.

"Ok guys, time to stop playing hide and seek and show the world what you can do." Xander said out loud, his speakers broadcasting his verbal command as he continued to smirk.

The cloak in Xander's hand rippled as if blown by a breeze that only affected the nano-weave of the cape, and slowly the cloak seemed to dissolve as if unraveling, until the unraveling picked up speed until it was as if the cloak was dissolving into dust in Xander's hand.

The dust poured out of the gaps between Xander's hand, and as the particles spilled from his armored fingers little clanks started to pop back into their proper size, the nano-clank weave of the cape filled with little clanks that enlarged themselves up to appropriate little clank size via the shrinking and enlarging technology.

Xander stood there smirking as it appeared that he was standing in a sea of gold and black little clanks, the entire bowl of the campsite was filled up by little multi-shaped clanks that stared at him with their mechanical eyes.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha!" Xander chuckled darkly, "Excellent…" He hissed out as he turned a circle and examined all of the clanks around him.

Xander smiled down at his creation, happy that even if he didn't have access to the Amazon's city, he was far from being alone. With a command of "Atten Hutt!" The little clanks all came to ridged attention, layers of them standing on the shoulders of other little clanks as the twenty foot diameter campground wasn't big enough for the million little clanks to stand side by side.

"TOOT TOOT!" "HONK HONK!" "TWEET TWEET!" "BEEP BEEP!" Xander's army of miniaturized robots saluted as one, all of their little voices sounding like an orchestra of musical instruments and beeping electronics.

Xander smiled from inside his helmet and then turned and carefully stepped his way through the packed throng of tiny clanks until he reached the side of his Dreadknight system. Xander's fingers quickly and skillfully detached the large satchel bag that connected to one side of the exoskeleton, and then turned towards his throng of robots as he opened up his sack.

"Ok gang, time to bring Murphy's law of combat to life." Xander said with a smirk as he opened the bag and dropped it so the opening was on the ground and accessible to the clanks.

Pointing to his left, and the clanks that were on that side of him, Xander ordered, "Alright, you half on the left, you're the diggers, you on the right side, you're the mine layers, and I'll paint the red line." Xander finished with an evil smirk and a deep chuckle "Wa ha ha ha."

* * *

The Amazon guards manning, or in this case womaning, the walls of Themyscira watched the armored behemoth march across the plains in a snit. Snide words were bandied about between the guards about the man, and several man jokes were passed back and forth between the women on the wall. Yet still, an undertone of unease lay beneath the Amazonian's comments of derision towards the Grey Knight and men in general as both the comments and recent actions of the man remained in the back of their minds. After all, it was hard to fully believe in ideas of men being weak or without honor when they had just witnessed one man not only save the life of the Shim Tar, but also the Princess and then proceed to almost single handedly slaughter the demonic horde that had attempted to assault their city.

One guard chuckled as she listened to her sisters discuss the short comings of what they considered the weaker sex before quipping with a joke, "Sisters, did you hear about what Hera said to Zeus after they first created men?" She questioned in Greek.

Here two sister guards turned to her with smirks on their faces and gave the expected reply, "No, what did the gods say?"

"We can do so much better with the next one." The first guard gave the punchline with a smirk.

"Ha, Ha! That is a good one." The second armored guard answered as she leaned on her spear for support as she laughed.

The third one laughed also, only to stop mid chuckle as movement from the Man's campground caught her eye. "What in Hera's name is that?"

Her voice carried down the wall, and the Amazonian guards all swung to look at where the guard pointed.

Spilling out of one of the cratered bowls that dotted the plains of hell appeared to be a metallic swarm of gophers, or at least it appeared to be gophers as the shiny little creatures that poured out of the bowl in their millions dived out of the Knight's campground and started digging in the dirt. Dust and dirt flew from little hands as if they were building little nests. Into these nests more of the little creatures planted what looked like brown, green, tan, black or rusty metal eggs of some sort before they were again buried in the red dusty soil.

The flying dirt created a brief cloud of fine dust that issued up into the air and drew the attention of additional Amazon's in the city, and soon the wall was filled with the warrior women gazing out at the little creatures that seemed to be playing in the dirt.

"Look over there." One of the woman stated to her companions, pointing to where the armored figure of the Grey Knight drew a zigzagged and backtracked path on the ground with two large cans of spray paint; each overly large canister drawing a line as if the Grey Knight was outlining a path. The man moved closer to the city walls from his campground, drawing a winding path of almost florescent red paint.

"So like a man to spend his time playing in the dirt!" One of the amazons jeeringly yelled down at Xander, who ignored the cat call and the accompanied laughter from the other women on the wall.

Instead, Xander disappeared in a blur; racing along the wall at a distance of twenty five feet from its base, where he traveled a red line appeared.

The Grey Knight kicked up a cloud of dust as he circumnavigated the city's walls, only pausing briefly to create another zigzagged path leading to safety at the city's front gates before continuing his course to completion where he started. Behind the grey knight, the horde of small metallic clanks continued their work of digging holes, planting a small metallic and plastic device, and then burying it before moving on. A force of about twenty small clanks carried the large side bag that disgorged the dangerous 'eggs' and they trooped along diligently behind the diggers and mine layers.

High on the walls overhead, Artemis, Shim Tar of the former city of Bana-Mighdall pushed her way to the edge of the wall directly over where The Grey Knight had just finished painting his line. Sneering down at Alexander she shouted, "What are you doing boy? Going to bake me a mud cake, or do you just enjoy wallowing in the dirt where men belong?"

Xander looked up at Artemis from his place on the ground and frowned for a second as he glared from behind his mask up at the Amazon. However his glare only lasted for a second, before in true Xander style an idea popped into his head and he smirked.

Raising his hands to his helmet, Xander twisted it and disengaged the locks with a mental control and physical manipulation.

"Now now, don't be hasty, the amazing Xander has come to enlighten and bedazzle you ladies." He smirked his patented goofy smirk up at the women with a twinkle in his eye.

Bending down, Xander laid down his helmet and snatched four rocks off the ground and began to juggle them in front of the now confused bunch of Amazons.

"Just what we needed ladies, a fool to entertain us!" Artemis shouted, and the woman joined her in laughing at Xander, only for his voice to carry over their new laughter.

"Ah ah ah, don't be too hasty now my dear, for the amazing Xander shall teach you that not is all that it appears." Xander stated with a big smile as he continued to two handed juggle the four rocks up in the air, taking the time to loop his hand under his other arm to do a few simple trick juggles.

Switching the rocks so that they were only being juggled in his left hand, Xander raised his right hand high so that all of the women on the wall could see it clearly as he showed them his empty hand, "See, nothing up this sleeve." Xander then deftly switched the juggled rocks to whirl in the air above his right hand while raising his left hand and giving it a jazz-hand like shake. "And nothing up this sleeve." He stated loud enough for the woman to hear him.

The Amazons had stopped their jeering and paused to see what he was about to do, and Xander didn't leave them hanging for long.

Xander smirked, and with a snap of his hands the four rocks sailed back over his shoulders, two from each hand.

The rocks sailed through the air, and the women on the wall followed the trajectory of the rocks as they lazily rose into the air and then descended rapidly… right into the middle of the freshly laid minefield.

The speed of the rocks impacting the ground jarred the pressure plates, and the mines that had once been created to ensure the seclusion of Kahndaq and Black Adam, exploded in fire and shrapnel.

The multiple "BOOMS!" rocked and startled the Amazons on the walls, leaving Artemis and her sisters stunned in open mouthed awe. The shock wave of the explosions echoed off of the bluffs in the distance and bounced back towards the city, bringing the Amazons out of their stupor as dust and debris settled down over the devils garden planted behind Xander.

"Thank You! Thank You!" Xander stated, bowing repeatedly to the stunned Amazons on the walls as if he was a stage magician at some Vegas night club. "You've been such a great audience! I'll be here all week! Try the veal." Xander quipped, and with a swivel on his foot, he scooped up and replaced his helmet before threading his way back through the safe path to his campsite with a jaunty skip in his step.

High on the walls behind him he left a stunned audience of warrior women who looked at each other wide eyed. Their thoughts were mirrored amongst all of them, _'What in the hell is that man?'_

* * *

Xander's introductory course on Minefields 101 was the last real communication between The Grey Knight and the Amazons for the rest of the day, and as night fell Xander found himself relatively alone at his campsite. Twin moons poked through the clouds and cast their shadowy light down over the mine field and Xander's lonely campsite; one of the moons shined a bright red while the second painted the ground around Xander with an eerie orange color.

Xander stared into the fire as its flickering light seemed to be swallowed up by the darkness that pervaded the rim of the crater that he had made his new home in hell.

'_Home, heh,'_ Xander thought to himself regarding his current domicile in the middle of a hell dimension. _'Well if nothing, the same sense of evil that seems to be a constant here, that and the heat of the place does remind me of dear old Sunnydale.'_

Xander's inner voice of irony charmed in, _'I can see the travel brochure now. "Tired of Sunnydale? Come to Hell, just like southern California with the same amount of demons, gorgeous single women and pervasive evil, but with half the property costs!"'_

Xander mentally chuckled at that and the corner of his mouth quirked up in a half smile that lasted for a moment before fading.

"I'm bored." Xander stated quietly to himself as he stared at his campfire. "And I really had hoped that my first time camping would include s'mores and camp music." Looking around at the gathered glowing eyes of his little clanks who were watching over the campground, somehow Xander figured that they weren't going to able to join him in a rousing rendition of Kumbayah, though the first few verses of "Camp Grenada" did seem fitting given he was camping in a hell dimension.

"Heh, where I could get eaten by a bear." Xander smirked to himself wryly before making a mental query, '_Anybody know how to make any musical instruments out of tubes and a large leather bag? I'm fresh out of wood for a guitar but I've got this giant leftover saddle bag and some of the tubes that were used as racks for the mines we planted.'_

A mental dialogue went on for a second before Xander's inner Heterodyne chirped in, _'Well actually, yes, but you're either going to love it or hate it. And even if you don't hate it, then I have a feeling that the Amazons won't be too happy about it.'_

Xander's eyebrow's rose at that comment, and then an evil smirk came across his face as he thought about the possibility of getting some mild payback at the jeering women that were safely behind their wall.

'_Tell me more.'_ Xander said with a smirk.

Xander could feel his inner voices all smirk back as the Heterodyne stated with a smile in his voice, _'Well… what do you know about Bagpipes?'_

* * *

At about the same time that Xander mentioned that he was bored, Queen Hippolyta woke up with a start as a sense of foreboding shivered down her spine. Quickly looking around here bedroom in the palace, she saw that nothing was around that would have possibly caused her to have a feeling of fear, so she lay back down to sleep.

Hippolyta's mind rested, and she started to fade back to sleep.

"BREEEEEEEEEEEEEE! BREEE! BREE BREEE!" A high pitched tone that seemed to cut through her head and rattle her teeth launched Hippolyta out of her bed and running for her weapons and the door as it sounded like some horrible hell beast was attacking the city.

Hippolyta ran out into the city in only her sleeping toga, golden sword in one hand and a shield in another as she looked up and down the street frantically for where the attack was coming from. Other Amazons poured out of their houses and ran to the walls as the sound of a thousand donkeys braying while a million cats were strangled rebounded off of the stone buildings and walls of Themyscira and echoed back off of the bluffs that surrounded the hell valley where the city sat.

"Holy Hera! What is that noise!" The Queen shouted as Amazon guards ran by, but her question was drowned out by the loud "BREEEEEEEEE!" Sound that filled the night air. Rushing down the street and up the steps to the top of the wall, Hippolyta pushed her way through the crowd of cringing women holding their ears until she could have a view out over the wall and towards where the noise was coming from.

There, illuminated by the light of a large campfire was the Grey Knight, helmet off and standing on the lip of the crater he had claimed, giant billows laying at his feet as groups of little clanks jumped up and down raising and lowering the billows. While the little clanks pumped the billows of the largest uilleann pipes ever made, an instrument very similar to bagpipes but which used a billows rather than air blown in by mouth, Alexander used wires attached to fingers to open and depress the holes on the tubes while a strap to his elbow allowed him to open and close keys via a regulator.

The drone of the pipes was almost deafening as Xander varied the chanter, drone and regulator through some horrible squeaks and braying sounds until finally something that sounded like music started to issue from the instrument.

The loudest solo version of "Scotland the Brave" ever to be played by a lone piper issued out of The Grey Knight's pipes, seeming to rattle the chests of the Amazons standing on the wall yet also hauntingly tug at their hearts. There was something about the mournful call of the pipes that called up pictures of a land and a world far away. The flickering light of the campfire cast shadows on the un-helmeted face of Xander, as he closed his eyes and just played.

Through all this, the Amazons just stared in slack jawed awe, not quiet sure whether the ear splitting sound was incredibly annoying, or incredibly beautiful.

As Xander played his first impetus for the music was one third boredom, one third an urge to get under the skin of the Amazons, and one third an outlet for his emotions. Not since his first day in Metropolis had Xander really had the time to do nothing but think about where he had come from, the loss of his friends and just what his life had turned into. In the hustle and bustle of trying to survive and thrive, this time in hell which felt strangely familiar and not unlike the pervasive feel of Sunnydale, was really his first time to really dwell on his feelings. Up until this point he had either been inventing, or trying to get a handle on his rising empire or powers, but here at his lonely campfire his thoughts could just dwell on his friends far far away.

Images of Xander's friends back in Sunnydale came to mind as memories of Buffy, Willow, Giles and even Jesse returned to the forefront of his mind. As Scotland the Brave ended, Xander continued playing songs that he had never truly known personally but that came from the Heterodyne universe. Mournful tunes of loss varied to songs of hope as Xander stood on the plains of hell and played. Protected by a mine field and surrounded by his ever watchful little clanks, Xander still felt all alone and so his song played out as such. Even with the Amazon's watching silently, their hearts being touched by the melodic haunting strains of the man's music, Xander felt alone.

Xander played his loss of his friends, the loss of his home dimension, his hurt at his treatment by the Amazons whom he had come to help, and he played the droning chant that the hope for tomorrow to be better. The melodic sounds of songs from a universe where the spark ran rampant gave way to a song that was more familiar to Xander as the haunting tune of "Danny Boy" billowed from his giant pipes.

As the last strains of his music echoed through the night air and faded off as Xander stopped playing, he opened his eyes and turned to look up at the city walls of Themyscira.

Xander's eyes locked with Hippolyta and then Artemis who stood next to the queen, and the depth of his look tugged at something that the Amazons had thought was walled off long ago. The music and the look of such loneliness that shown from the eyes of the Grey Knight did what the passing of time had been unable to do. The fortress of anger and fear of being hurt by men that Hippolyta and the Amazons held in their hearts cracked. It was just a little crack, but the seed of change had been planted, and for the first time in centuries many of the Amazons briefly thought that perhaps they had found a man worthy of trusting. They wouldn't trust him yet, but the sliver of thought was planted in their minds and burying itself deeper as they each contemplated their silent thoughts.

Xander had held his gaze, panning silently down the line of Amazons that stood on the walls and were illuminated by torch light. Then with a final look down and a heaving of his shoulders as he let out a sigh, Xander bent down, picked up his helmet and put it back on.

The last image that the Amazons had of Xander's campfire before The Grey Knight extinguished said fire was of two glowing red eyes looking up at them. Those two eyes had looked at them as if peering into their souls, as if Alexander had looked at them and truly seen them and their inner selves.

The campground went dark, and The Grey Knight disappeared from view due to the darkness of night as the Amazons turned and silently looked at their companions before slowly and quietly returning to their homes or their guard positions. It would be a night's sleep where many tossed and turned as they started to question their long held beliefs and what the next day would bring on the plains of hell.

* * *

**AN: Well, a short chapter but a lot happened in it… well sort of. Next chapter is going to focus almost entirely on Xander and the action in hell, though we may see a foray back into the SunnyD verse and an update of what was happening with Buffy and the remaining Scoobies. Again, sorry for the wait but life had handed me a ton of lemons and it took a while before I could turn them all into lemonade. On an honest aside, if I get some good reviews or mentions of thoughts for what should happen next then my muse should feel inspired to write more. I could use some ideas for what is going on back in Sunnydale now that Xander isn't around. Does Jonathan come in and partially fill the role of donut fetcher and research help that Xander did? Does Cordy and Buffy's friendship get to the point where the slayerettes become the new "in" crowd? Does Willow's search for a method to bring Xander back get her entangled in magic faster than it did in the original universe or get her tangled up with the Goddess Hecate and similar powers to that of Circe? How does the fact that time moves a whole lot slower in the Sunnydale verse effect what interaction takes place between Xander and the scoobies? All thoughts that I would like your help with. Thanks in advance, and Cheers!**

**P.S. The song Danny Boy was a favorite of my Irish family, and I've sung it at many a funeral. This chapter is dedicated to Andy Procter and McKinzie Hall who will be missed but not forgotten.**


	35. Chapter 35: We Don't Need No Comic Code

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN1. Have been traveling for business the last couple weeks, so have been writing out the chapters on paper whenever I have a chance. I'll be pulling together the garbled notes written on cocktail napkins, sticky notes and notebooks over the next couple weeks, so progress will still continue albeit not as fast as most would like. I really appreciate the comments and ideas for the scoobies portion of the story, and I'm going to use one almost verbatim that came from a reader named OLazy1. Thanks for all the comments and reviews that keep my muse churning. Cheers!**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 35: We Don't Need No Stinking Comic Code**

"Scenes of excessive violence shall be prohibited. Scenes of brutal torture, excessive and unnecessary knife and gunplay, physical agony, gory and gruesome crime shall be eliminated."

"All scenes of horror, excessive bloodshed, gory or gruesome crimes, depravity, lust, sadism, masochism shall not be permitted."

"Scenes dealing with, or instruments associated with walking dead, torture, vampires and vampirism, ghouls, cannibalism, and werewolfism are prohibited."

"Profanity, obscenity, smut, vulgarity, or words or symbols which have acquired undesirable meanings are forbidden."

"Illicit sex relations are neither to be hinted at nor portrayed."

~Excerpts from the 1954 Comic Code

Sunnydale High school was in full swing the final week before the Christmas holiday, and though the weather outside promised to stay as sunny and warm as every other December break the population of the educational institution situated on the Hellmouth mostly focused their attention on the upcoming break and not on their midterm exams. Yes, like every teenaged school environment, the students were focused more on the more enjoyable things of life. Teenaged boyfriends and girlfriends flirted and smooched in the hallways while hinting over gifts that were going to be exchanged over the upcoming holiday. Jocks joked together about the last football game before the end of the semester, and Teachers snuck sips from camouflaged flasks of high octane spirits while praying for the break from the insanity of teaching the hormonal hordes. These were the normal activities that could have taken place at any high school in any town in the United States. However there were two conversations going on that were a bit different from the norm.

In the Sunnydale High's library, Willow, her new boyfriend Oz, the sometimes friendly and always snide Cordelia Chase, Buffy the vampire slayer and her watcher met over a stack of books. Their conversation was focused on a slightly more abnormal subject than what took place at most normal high schools that were on the brink of a semester break.

"Buffy, please describe to me again the demon you witnessed robbing the liquor store. You say that the creature shot, ahem, some discharge from its overly large nose that landed on people and then absorbed the blood out of them, at which point the demon sucked up the slime again?" Giles questioned, paging down a dark brown tome with aged yellow pages.

Buffy cringed at the memory as she replied, "Yep, seriously gross. And the fact that it was the same color fluid as what was in the slurpee machine is about enough to make me swear off of quicky mart food for the rest of my life."

"Ew Buffy, could you be any more disgusting?" Cordelia griped before sighing and closing the book before her with a thump before pushing herself back away from the desk. "Well at least I won't have to worry about keeping up my diet after hearing that description, I'm no longer hungry, thanks a lot loser." Queen C finished haughtily.

Buffy scowled up at Cordelia as Cordy stood up from her chair and left towards the doors to the library. "Please, like you weren't already about to eat a plain boring salad for lunch anyway. You can thank me for saving you from that fate later." Buffy snarked back. The comeback wasn't up to the same level as Xander's past quips had been during the battle of the tongue with Queen C, but Buffy at least put in the effort ever since Xander had been sucked into that other dimension.

"Oh! Here it is!" Willow's voice broke the quickly ramping up insult battle that was about to begin. Willow pulled the book she had been reading up onto the top of the stack of tomes on the table and shared what she had found with Giles and Oz, pointing to her findings while she read out loud.

"The Epistaxis Demon, commonly called the "nose bleed" demon or Nose-feratu, makes their home in tallest structure found in the local area." Willow read before giving a brief "Eep" when she read further down the page. "Traditionally from the middle eastern region, the demon's schnoz matches the dimensions of many of the region's inhabitants and tales tell of rabbi demon hunters cutting off the nose of slain Nose-feratu as they believed the original demons had been tainted members of the lost tribe of Israel who no longer deserved to look as if they were members of the chosen people… Oh-My-God! That-Demon-Is-Related-To-Me!" Willow finished in a fast paced babble while Oz gave her a supportive pat on the back.

Before Giles or the rest of the remaining Scoobies could answer, a disturbance at the entrance to the library interrupted, and thus the other abnormal Sunnydale High School conversation waltzed its way in the door.

"Give those back to me Jonathan! That's a mint condition collector's edition first print ret-con set that I bought from a black market connection at Vertigo publishing. You can't get those books at the stores yet and DC isn't letting their secondary publishing house release those to the public! If you so much as crease those I'm going to take my +10 boot of butt kicking and stick it up your ass!" Andrew Wells yelled at Jonathan Livingston as the shorter of the duo jumped and flailed in his attempts to retrieve the brown paper wrapped bundle that Jonathan was keeping out of reach.

Jonathan was straight arming the swinging Andrew, keeping the palm of his hand pushed firmly against the shorter boy's forehead to keep him from reaching the package. Jonathan bit back, "No Andrew, Willow needs to see this and you know it. Besides, I'm wearing my +20 light armor whitey tighties today, so there."

Andrew stopped, swinging and was still, and a moment of silence settled over the library as Jonathan realized that he had an audience at the exact moment that he realized remembered what he had just admitted. To top things off, Cordelia Chase was smirking mercilessly at him.

Jonathan gulped and looked pleadingly at Cordelia, "Is there any way that we all can just forget that last statement and never mention it again?"

Cordelia's smirk grew shark like she smelled the proverbial blood in the water, "Not a chance looser, I just found my conversation piece for lunch since I'll be skipping the salad." She finished triumphantly as she crossed her arms across her chest triumphantly.

Jonathan whimpered for a second, realized that nobody was going to save him from his self abasement, so he moved towards the table with the package in his hand in the hopes that he could distract the crowd in the library.

"Well, um, I know lots of weird stuff happens around Sunnydale, and I know you all are involved in it." Jonathan started to say.

Buffy frantically interjected, "Weird stuff? I don't know about any weird stuff? We're totally normal, absolutely no weird stuff here; I'm Ms. Normal from Normal-ville California."

Jonathan stopped speaking, looked at Buffy, then down at the book that was open on the middle of the table, the book which had a big picture of a demon with an extra large nose taking up one entire page while the rest of the book looked to be written in Hebrew. Buffy looked down at what Jonathan was looking at, looked up at Jonathan and then Andrew with large eyes before using Slayer speed to close the book with a snap and quickly hide it behind her back with a guilty look on her face.

Jonathan smiled and looked at Andrew who stared back with wide eyes as apparently the shorter of the geeky duo hadn't been as aware of the things that went bump in the Sunnydale night.

Willow attempted to cover for Buffy and the gang, "Um, uh, we were just looking at mythology books and stuff for an uh… school assignment! Yes, that's right, we were merely doing some background research for a school assignment having to deal with Jewish myths." Willow babbled and stuttered out a lame excuse.

Jonathan smiled at Willow's attempt, it was nice to be in a conversation with a girl and not be the side of the conversation that was stuttering and putting their foot in their mouth; at least this one time.

"Anyway, as I was saying I know you are involved with weird stuff since I've started dabbling in magic a while back and recognize several of the books that are here in the library. Add to that when Andrew showed me his latest find, and I knew you would want to see it." Jonathan said smugly as he pulled several glossy items out of the paper bag that held them, and then fanned them out on the table on top of the books.

"I know what happened to Xander." Jonathan stated as he laid out a series of comic books that featured a futuristically armored knight slaying vampires on the cover of one of them, a black suited man with a black shiny face covering helmet hovering over a military base in another, and several pictures with Xander Harris wearing a white lab coat and laughing madly as he held up a beaker of bubbling red fluid while standing in a laboratory on different comic book.

Silence reigned for a second, and then chaos reigned supreme.

"Good Lord." Said Giles who rapidly began to polish his glasses while looking at the comic books on the table.

"Xander's in a comic book? I knew he was in a different dimension, but a comic book?" Buffy exhaled as she snagged a comic book and started leafing through it.

"Hmm, well at least he's finally learned to dress somewhat reasonably. Not as well as I could have dressed him of course, but still it's better than those horrible polyester things posing as Hawaiian shirts." Cordelia stated as she picked up one of the comic books that had Xander principally dressed as The Leviathan. "Oh, never mind, there's the Hawaiian shirt again." Cordy finished as she continued to leaf through the comic and noted that Xander still continued to wear his eye-sores in several of the pictures.

"Xander!" Willow shrieked as she snatched up a comic book and started leafing through it, only to go bright red in the face and shriek again "XANDER!" when she came to a scene that showed Xander in bed with his two female minions.

"Yeah, that's a great scene. Xander's having lots of sex, and since it's published by Vertigo and not DC comics it isn't confined by the comic code. Xander's got a great ass." Andrew stated as he looked over Willow's shoulder with a large smile on his face.

Everybody stopped and turned to slowly look at Andrew whose turn it was to turn red. "Um, I mean he's obviously put on a lot of muscle that I wish I had and I didn't mean that I was admiring his ass, um the girl's asses are great also…" Andrew looked around and saw that everybody was still staring at him blankly. "Um, I'm going to shut up now." Andrew finished and quickly picked up another comic book which he opened and used to cover his face as if he was deeply focused on it.

"Anyway," Jonathan segued in the hope to limit Andrews embarrassing statement, Cordelia already looked like Christmas had come early, as nothing made Queen C feel better than tearing down people verbally, and here was fresh ammo. "I was saying that I think I know what happened to Xander. So far there are thirty five comics published very rapidly, and the first one came out November 1st, the day after Xander disappeared." Jonathan finished explaining as he helped himself to a seat.

The Scoobies stared stunned at Jonathan, then back at the comics, then back at Jonathan.

"Sooooo… does anybody want to fill me in on what is really going on around here in Sunnydale?" Jonathan asked with a smirk.

Giles had been continuously cleaning his glasses since Jonathan had first produced the comic books, but here was a question he could answer. Putting his glasses back on his face Giles began, "Well, the world is older than you know…"

Buffy interrupted and in a blur was lifting Jonathan out of his seat by his shirt and up to stand face to face with her, "Jonathan shut up and tell me where Xander is right now." The Slayer commanded, and Jonathan gulped as his well honed nerd survival skills kicked in and he suddenly realized that the short blonde was a lot stronger than she looked.

"Um, right there," Jonathan said hesitantly in a high pitched voice as he reached around Buffy towards the table and pushed some of the comics out of the way until comic book issue 35 was exposed. There on the cover was the answer to Buffy's question.

"The Grey Knight and the Invasion of Hell!" Was written clearly across the top of the comic book, while a picture of a Xander sans Grey Knight helmet was beneath it. Xander was painted on the cover in his hulking power armor and was surrounded by snapping demons while blood and gore flew off of a glowing spear that was rammed through the chest of a tall grey colored demon.

"Xander!" Willow cried out in fear for her friend.

* * *

The Grey Knight's campsite was nearly empty by the time that the sun rose over the hell trapped city of Themyscira. Only the blackened remains of a campfire and the hulk of the Dreadknight exo-armor blocking the path through the minefield towards the camp told the tail that the Grey Knight had been there. This by no means meant that the Grey Knight had up and left the Amazons to their situation in hell, as the occasional sound of explosions echoed off of the canyon walls paid witness to the fact that Alexander was still very much active in the vicinity of the city. However the sound of muffled battles in the distance was the only herald that Xander was still about at the time that the Amazonian scavenging party left the front gates of the city.

The Island of Themyscira had originally been created to be self sufficient. Blessed by the Greek Gods, the island normally grew all of the food needed to keep the static population of the immortal island bound Amazons fully fed and watered. That said, the island was not ready to supply sustenance for the influx of Bana-Mighdall Amazons that had invaded and it certainly didn't have the needed resources to supply the combined tribes of Amazons while stuck in a hell dimension for multiple years. Thus scavenging parties were set out to harvest burnable materials for fuel to ward off the chill nights as well as to hunt for meat from the carnivorous cow like hell beasts that wandered the plains of that infernal dimension.

Hippolyta led the fifty strong mixed force of island and desert Amazons out of the gates before they hesitantly weaved their way across the winding and switchback laden path that led them safely through the mine field. Hesitant looks were shared as they traipsed through the devil's garden that Alexander had planted, but then the stoic and prideful looks regained their "proper" place on the faces of the Amazon warriors as the party of guards and gathers left the minefield behind. The Amazons entered into a ground eating lope that quickly saw them cover the ground of the valley that the city rested in and the bluffs straight out from the gates became larger as they drew closer to the edge of the valley.

The entire troop aimed for a break in the bluff's that surrounded the valley, a canyon that narrowed into a crevasse as it rose in elevation towards the plateau that overlooked the city in the center of the valley. Eyes were vigilant and hand signals silently relayed orders up and down the line of Amazons as they entered the canyon and thinned into first a double order troop before being forced into single file to reach the summit of the trail. The elevation gain from the bottom of the valley to the top of the plateau was roughly seven hundred feet that was packed into a distance of no more than half a mile, but the athletic female warriors rapidly covered the distance with only a slight quickening of breathe and heart rate to show for their endeavor.

At the top of the rise was their target for the day. A tangled thicket of hellish brambles with bladed thorns four to five inches long had been found to make excellent firewood even if it was terribly hard to harvest. Imagine tumbleweed with its wildly interconnected twigs that were twisted together, and then increase it in size to be a tumbling ball at least twelve feet tall, cover it in daggers and you can begin to understand the daunting task that it would take in order to hack it into a usable size and shape. Suffice it to say it was a two handed job, hence the presence of guards. When they reached the brambles, half of the amazons sheathed their swords or unlimbered bows while taking from their backs thick leather sheaths that would be used to roll up the harvested wood like brambles for firewood.

Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons, was not the type to lead from the rear with the gear. As a true warrior queen of old, just don't call her old to her face, she believed in getting her hands dirty like the rest of her people. Thus while the workers began the task of carefully cutting off the thorns and harvesting the mix of thicker limbs and twisted thorns she worked with Artemis to deploy the guards for the best protection.

Speaking in Greek Hippolyta relayed to Artemis, "The brambles form a natural wall along our side and in front of the workers. That just leaves us one side to defend where it opens up towards the plateau." She stated as she shrugged her shoulder and shifted the leather straps of her gold shield to a more comfortable position on her left arm.

Artemis looked out in the distance along the plateau and took note of a large herd of thousands of hell cows that was passing in the distance, a small group of hell pack trotting on the outskirts of the herd to pick off stragglers. Turning to look at Hippolyta out of the corner of her eye, the Shim-Tar of the Bana-Mighdall answered in the same language, "I'll post the watch accordingly, yet we should not assume that our only threat could come from the plateau." The red haired warrior flipped her long braid over her shoulder as she turned to fully look at the queen and shifted her weight to twist the spear she was leaning on, he sword sheathed at her side.

Hippolyta nodded in understanding, "True, how about we split the duty, I will guard the path we reached the plateau by and you can strengthen the front ranks of the guards." Hippolyta commanded.

Artemis's hackles rose a bit at the command as the Bana-Mighdall still hadn't acquiesced to Hippolyta being their queen, but for the sake of continued cooperation during a bad situation she nodded her head and quietly padded off in a jog to assist the front ranks that guarded the gap between the edge of the canyon and the wall of brambles that protected their other flank.

The day was hot, and as the multiple suns rose in the sky the temperature in the hell dimension soared. The day progressed with little distraction except for the trickle of sweat off of feminine brows and across their arms and chests; whoever had said that women didn't sweat but that rather they "glowed" had obviously never been stuck wearing leather and chainmail armor in a hell dimension. As the day progressed, the sun passed over head and the piles of harvested brushwood grew taller until each leather wrapped bundle was full and securely attached to the backs of the harvesting crew. The guarding Amazons warriors flanked fore and back of the women lugging the firewood and Hippolyta led the way back into the breach in the plateau that would lead them through the crevasse and back to the valley floor.

The Amazons fully entered the pass back to the valley floor and were approximately one thousand feet in when Hippolyta decided to encourage her Amazons on the work well done.

She yelled out in Greek, "Good job Amazons. Today you have helped to make sure that we had the necessary goods to survive another dAAAAYYYYYEEEEEE!"

Hippolyta's statement shut off in a scream as the ground opened up under her feet and large grey hands grabbed her legs and pulled her into the hole that opened up to block the path. The two Amazonian guards stationed just between the Queen were shocked for a moment before the ground beneath their feet also gave way as the hole widened into a tunnel entrance beneath their feet. Before the other Amazons could come to their queen's rescue, the walls of the slender canyon fell away to disgorge two-legged ten foot tall horned monstrosities wielding claws and long demon bone spears. The grey skinned demons tore into the Amazon troop, laughing deeply and yelling out in their demonic tongue as they quickly stabbed and swiped at the ambushed women. In the middle of the pack, a bone spear went through the stomach of one of the pack carrying Amazons as her shield sister stabbed her sword into the neck of the attacking ogre sized demon. The attacking monster choked and coughed on his blood and released the spear that had skewered the woman only to be pulled roughly out of the way by several more demons who exited the hidden cave behind it in the canyon wall. The once tidy rows of marching Amazons became a chaotic warzone as demonic teeth, horns, claws and spears met Amazonian spears, daggers, swords and shields.

At the back, Artemis whirled like a dervish with a spear in one hand and a sword in the other, dancing around the openings in the earth at her feet while she stabbed, stabbed and stabbed again. The Shim-Tar was a flurry of blades, relying on the mantra that a good offense makes the best defense. Greenish black blood poured down the blood trench along her sword as it struck out and pierced one demon's side while at the same time she thrust her spear up through the chin and into the brain pan of a demon that attempted to flank her; only to break off the spear and jab the remaining sharp shards of wood into the groin of a third demon. Her sister Amazons followed suit, stabbing and hacking with reckless abandon as they literally fought for their lives against the howling tides of demons pushing out of the holes in the walls. There were so many of the hulking grey demons attempting to get at the Amazons that the monsters pushed and shoved one another for a chance to get at the pink skinned human prey.

The small size of the Amazons helped them in the small confines of the canyon, still, the Demons held the element of surprise and more than a third of the Amazon troop had been heavily burdened by their heavy packs of firewood. The Amazons were fighting a losing battle, for they had lost their queen and several warriors in the first seconds of the battle, and for every demon they killed another seemed to pour out of the cracks and hidden caves in the canyon walls.

Just then, from the top of the canyon came the sound of thousands of horns, sounding the Calvary bugle call to "CHARGE!"

"TOOT, toot TOOT TOOT toot-toot TOOOT toot toot-toot TOOT TOOT TOOOO!" Xander in his full red glowing eyed Grey Knight armor and a streaming horde of glowing red eyed little clanks crested the top of the canyon walls on both sides and dived off the sides of the crevasse right at the demons.

"NO MERCY!" The Grey Knight bellowed in rage as Xander dived head and glaive first towards the hole where the Queen and her two forward most guards had disappeared into. A burst of fire from his wrist mounted Toastmaster flash fried the three demons crawling out of the hole right before Xander's blue glowing glaive sheared a fourth in half and Xander disappeared down the gaping fissure in the canyon floor.

The tides of the battle changed in an instant, as the muscle bound and hulking demon barbarians were swept over in a tidal wave of tiny metallic rage!

Little clawed mechanical hands pincered closed and started to spin like drills while a multitude of tiny cutting lasers, buzz saws, surgical blades and welding torches sprung to life from the bodies of the legion of little clanks. They fell upon the demons like a horde of locusts, like a biblical plague that sweeps everything away before it and leaves only the bleached bones behind.

Individual demons that had previously been cackling as they attempted to slice or bite the Amazons' flesh from their bones suddenly disappeared under a sea of honking and tooting little clanks, only to be rendered into geysers of green-black blood as the clanks pureed their way through the attacking demonic force.

It was like Jack versus the Giant, Tom versus Jerry, just like the ancient battle of David and Goliath… well, that is if David had been wielding laser beams, an atom smasher and the ability to cut in half a United States Abrahams battle tank in .03 seconds. In other words, the demons didn't stand a chance.

Like using a nuke to take out a guy hiding in a canvas tent, Xander's force would have exemplified "overkill;" that is if Xander believed that such a thing existed. Further, while Xander's little clank army sliced, diced and made julienne fries out of the main host of demons, Xander was busy hacking and slashing in the tunnel beneath the canyon.

Out of the hole in the ground flew a large grey leg, and then an arm, followed by a gout of flame and a whole but bruised and slightly cut-up Queen Hippolyta who flailed through the air before impacting safely on the ground up on the canyon floor with a thump. She was quickly followed by a disembodied demon's head that smacked her in the chest before bouncing back into the hole right before Xander flew out of the fissure with one Amazonian guard over his shoulder and the other one unconscious under his arm. Quickly setting the two women down, Xander turned and unleashed a solid blast of purifying fire down the hole; forcefully sucking out the air in the cavern below as his greedy flames devoured all of the oxygen and carbon that it could get. The heat of the fire collapsed the tunnel under the feet of the struggling-to-stand Hippolyta and her guards, and dropped the floor of the canyon a good four feet lower for a span of twenty feet in length.

Turning his back and ignoring the Queen, Xander focused his attention on the main body of Amazons that was still fighting tooth and nail with the demons. Though the clanks easily carved through the first few ranks of hulking grey evil monsters, more demons continued to spew out of the cavern walls, and Xander could see that his own clanks had not come out of the battle unscarred as the twisted and crushed remains of at least a hundred clanks littered the floor of the canyon, crushed or with little wires and springs popping out of them.

In a blur, Xander disappeared from a stand still as he zipped through the throng of Amazons, leaving a blurred after image of a glowing blue blade before stopping behind Artemis just in time to block a spear that would have pierced her spine. Along Xander's blurred path, the last remaining demons who had been tying up the Amazon troop fell to pieces in spurts of blackish blood, leaving the Amazons who had been locked in battle with the monsters to stumble as their enemies literally fell apart.

Artemis dodged under a spear thrust for her face and spun, beheading the demon in front of her and spinning to attack the grey being that she saw out of the corner of her eye… only to be halted mid blow by Xander's armored gantlet on her wrist.

Artemis growled at The Grey Knight, "Man!" She spat as a curse.

"Woman." Xander replied without any emotion while still clutching Artemis's wrist like an immovable force. He quickly looked up the hill and saw an additional hundred of the tall grey and heavily muscled bipedal demons pouring into the top of the crevasse and charging down towards Xander and the Amazons behind hm.

Xander yanked Artemis towards him and over his shoulder, startling the warrior women as he turned and yelled to his army of clanks, "Strategic Retreat! Begin the crowd surfing!"

Xander yelled, and led the charge back through the troop of Amazons, grabbing several of them and throwing them over his shoulder or under his arms none too gently as he rushed down the slope. Around Xander, the little clanks swarmed the Amazons before the Amazons suddenly found themselves picked up off the ground and bodily carried on a sea of little clanks. Behind them the Demons roared as they saw their prey fleeing and picked up the pace.

"Let me down! Amazons do not retreat!" Artemis yelled at Xander from her place at the bottom of the pile of women balanced on his shoulder. She flailed at him with her one free arm, the other trapped under the weight of the other Amazons stacked on top of her.

"Sorry, a little busy at the moment saving your life again." Xander griped in a growl, "I know I make it look easy, but really, have you ever thought about going on a diet?" Xander smirked under his helmet as he snarked at the Amazon warrior.

Artemis's only reply was a feline like growl of anger before she punched him in the side of his helmeted head, only to suck in her breath in pain as her hand rebounded off his helmet without any visible reaction by Xander.

The Amazons riding on top of the sea of clanks weren't having much of a better ride than those being carried by Xander, as they tumbled forward and back, some leading ass first while others sideways, on their back or on their face and bumping up and down as they were carried like Gulliver in the land of the Lilliputians.

Xander and his clanks, with their Amazonian passengers along for the unasked for ride, picked up speed and quickly outstripped the tide of charging demon tribes men, monsters, evil thingies, whatever the tall brutish demons were. The pell-mell dash across the valley continued to speed up to defy human constraints with the mass of clanks carrying their passengers over their heads while Xander brought up the rear.

Exiting the canyon, the little clanks continued their mad dash pelting run towards the safety of the minefield and the city walls while Xander took a moment to drop the amazons off his shoulders and out from under his arms for a moment; depositing the ladies in a very unladylike dog pile.

Artemis huffed and threw her hair out of her face, her long ponytail of long red hair had come undone and was now sticking to her face and tangled with her armor as Xander had not so gently carried her off in the midst of battle before now dropping her face first into the red dirt. She spat out a mouthful of grit and brushed her hair out of her eyes, just in time to see The Grey Knight unclip a little metallic sphere and pressed the red button on top.

"Thank you for choosing Leviathan brand super-nova grenades." The polite feminine sounding British voice daintily stated from the grenade. The grenade continued to verbalize via a little speaker, "This device will explode in three seconds." However the last part of the sentence was probably only heard by Xander and his super hearing due to the fact that he had line drive chucked the grenade at super speed over a thousand feet and right into the face of the demon leading the charge down the canyon. Ok, so maybe the demon heard the grenade's speech also. Either way, the grenade itself or "What's that?" were probably the last things to go through that particular demon's head as Xander's aim splattered the grey demon's grey matter all over the walls of the canyon.

Xander turned back towards the pile of Amazons that was just now dizzily pulling themselves to their feet, only for Xander to once again swoop them up and start running pell-mell towards the city like the fires of hell were lapping at his heels… for they were about to be.

"Put us down you Brute!" Artemis yelled, her hair hitting her in the face again and getting trapped in her mouth. The Amazons packed onto Xander's shoulder groaned their agreement or yipped out curses as Xander was pushing for as much speed as safely possible given his load of women.

"Less talking, more letting me concentrate on running!" Xander grunted as he jumped a large divot in the valley floor. "Screw this running!" Xander finished as rather than land on the other side of the divot Xander engaged his flight ability and soared forward at faster speeds than before. In his mind, he knew he had to get past the minefield before the grenade went off.

Meanwhile, just as the little clanks had entered the path back through the minefield and out into the safety before the gate in the wall around Themyscira, the demon horde had bypassed their fallen cohort and were almost to the exit of the canyon… just as the grenade started its countdown.

"One…Two….Four. Have a nice day." The recording stated as it purposefully skipped the number three and wished those in its general vicinity well; just as the little hardened mass was fired through the containment wall of the miniature sun contained inside the grenade, and the universe's smallest supernova exploded.

"Stop Squirming DAMNIT!" Xander cursed as Artemis's wiggling was enough to get her off of his shoulder to drop towards the ground that was zipping by underneath Xander and the Amazons that were piled on his back; only to catch her by the back of her leather ring covered breastplate a foot above the minefield as he zipped over it.

His happenstance of bending his head down to grab Artemis gave Xander a perfect view of the explosion behind him, and a little voice inside his head said, _'Um, I forget, what does it mean when the explosion is so fast that it vaporizes a thousand square meters before you even hear the sound wave?'_

To which the other voices in Xander's head yelled a collective, _'OH SHIT!' _

Right before the blast-wave hit him.

The fact that he was wearing his helmet probably saved Xander's eyes from instantaneous blindness, and only his super speed and flight skills allowed him to pull Artemis tightly into his arms and swing around in the air so that he took the brunt of the blow of the shockwave rather than the Amazons on his back who continued flying forward due to their inertia. His subconscious and the world slowing down were also enough for Xander to quickly switch positions once again right before he and the Amazons he was carrying impacted the wall; leaving behind a strangely man-sized divot in the wall.

Light was followed by force, was followed by sound which was then followed by a wave of dust and debris as portions of the minefield also ignited and exploded due to the pressure wave and the falling bits of rock.

Of the demons who had been charging after them not even a fine mist existed as the explosion had instantly vaporized a sphere roughly three thousand feet in diameter. The rocks and raining pebbles were what had used to make up the surface of the hell dimension for the thousand or so feet around that, and basically created a basin of chewed up earth right up to the edge of the minefield that surrounded the city.

Though the Amazons were saved from the demons, they were by no means left uninjured. Blinded by the light and with blood pouring from burst eardrums, the female warriors injuries from the single explosion were added onto their already numerous marks from the ambush and battle. Xander had mostly protected the Amazons who he had been carrying, but several of those who had been hoisted along by the little clanks hadn't fully made it through the gates before the grenade had exploded. In addition to the cuts and stab wounds from the demons the women were suffering from severe contusions from falling on weapons and thorny bundles of wood along with concussions and other impact wounds from being forcefully thrown against the city gates and walls.

Xander yanked off his helmet and threw it to the ground as he quickly looked around. The intensity of the explosion had fried the visual sensors of the eye sockets, and both normally glowing red eyes were now a hazed and dull grey without the automatic repair systems which were lost along with Jarvis. All around Xander, and up on the walls where the guards had been watching towards the canyon, the Amazons moaned and groaned in anguish. There in the twenty foot safety zone between the minefield and the wall, Amazons moaned in pain or were slumped to the ground unconscious from their injuries, several of them collapsed in uncomfortable positions up against the tall grey stone walls.

Xander's mind kicked into overdrive, and the world slowed down as a plan began to form on what to do first. In less than a second the thoughts and plans collated themselves into a series of actions that he needed to take immediately.

"Triage! Shrink and repair life threatening injuries first followed by sight and hearing." Xander commanded his legion of little clanks, and suddenly swarms of little clanks became small swarms of nano-clanks that seethed across the ground and floated into the air over the fallen Amazons; where the nano-clanks passed healthy women, who blinked and began to return to their feet shakily.

Xander looked over the Amazons that he had been carrying, and noted that they were all mostly whole except for the eye and ear injuries, several had cuts and minor injuries from the battle, but they were primarily just stunned. The worse injured had been those carried back to the city by the little clanks, and of those in most need of aid was the Amazon who had received the spear through her gut and still clenched onto it in her unconscious pain.

Xander moved quickly through the Amazons and over to the young woman who had the spear sticking through where her belly button used to be and then at an angle out her back. Xander knelt down and flipped the girl on her side, the action causing fresh blood and bile to seep from the exit wound in the Amazon's back. Xander's subconscious noted that the blonde haired Amazon was a Bana-Mighdall based on her brown leather armor rather than the gold that the Themyscirian Amazons wore; not that the armor had helped her at all based on results of the long boney spear going right through one side and out the other.

Xander cringed, put two hands right on the spear where it met the woman's stomach and broke off the haft of the spear that had yet to pass through the woman. The Amazon moaned softly and shuddered in unconscious pain while Xander then took a firm hold on the bone spear at the point where it exited the girl's back, and yanked the spear out.

The shock of the spear being yanked from the woman's body caused the unnamed Amazon's eyes to dart open in unseeing pain before her body went into shock and started convulsing.

"Shit! You're not going to leave me yet." Xander cursed as he furiously threw the spear to the side and then clutched at his right gauntlet and gave it a fast series of pushes and pulls and twists to cause the locking system to unlock and allow his hand to be freed from The Grey Knight armor just as his second layer of nano-clank armor rippled and receded to bare the skin of his hand.

"Get away from her you monster!" Artemis screamed and darted at Xander's undefended back.

"SMACK!" Xander's newly bared hand shot out in a straight arm backhand that caught the diving Artemis in the face and sent her flying backwards to collide with Queen Hippolyta who had just exited the gates with several guards, causing the Amazons to get knocked over in a rolling heap.

Stunned, the Amazons all around Xander stopped and stared at him stunned, as they witnessed the blatant fury on his face and coupled that with the fact that the man who had just saved them had just attacked and knocked over both of their strongest warriors with a single blow; the Shim-Tar Artemis with the single backhand, and Queen Hippolyta via the impact with the flying Artemis.

Before the Queen and the Shim-Tar could regain their feet, before any Amazon could take umbrage with The Grey Knight's actions, Xander wheeled on them and stood to his full hulking height with a look of utter fury, for it is not wise for mere mortals to interfere in the business of a Major Spark.

"ENOUGH!" Xander's voice was radiated out from him with enough force to rock the Amazons back on their heels as the pure power and anger that poured from him made the simple statement sound like a yell that vibrated in the Amazon's bones.

"You will not attack me again! " Xander commanded with the power of the Spark in his voice, and the Amazons could do not but obey, several found themselves unconsciously nodding vigorously.

Pointing at Hippolyta and Artemis, Xander commanded, "This is your fault! I have saved your Amazons multiple times now, and it was your pride that caused your people to be here dying and injured on the ground, all because you wouldn't allow me in your walls, all because you couldn't forget a grudge from centuries ago. If not for your pride you wouldn't have had to go out today, you wouldn't have been attacked and ambushed, and you wouldn't be lying here now. And when I try to help you, you attack ME? ENOUGH!" Xander ended in a bellow of such rage that it literally caused the Amazons to shake and several of them dropped to their knees unconsciously in supplication.

"Now let me work in silence!" Xander commanded before turning his back on them and turning to the Amazon at his feet.

Xander looked at the injured woman, and realized she wasn't breathing. "Fuck!" Xander cursed and his bare hand darted down to touch the woman's throat only to find no pulse.

"NO! I will not be defeated!" Xander spat angrily as the sheen of genius and equal parts madness darkened his eyes with anger and his teeth gritted together.

Then in a blur, Xander's left hand grabbed the spear from the ground with his gauntleted fist, and then shoved the bladed point of the bone spear into his bare right hand.

Xander didn't cringe at all as the blade sliced through the meat of his palm and blood splattered over the dying Amazon before Xander yanked the spear from his palm and thrust his bloody hand at the gaping wound in the woman's stomach.

"HEAL!" Xander growled in fury as the Nano-clanks in his spilled blood obeyed.

Nicked organs fused closed as spilled liquids seemed to be sucked back into their damaged organs or blood vessels. Tissues mended, nerves connected, bones grew whole and fractured bone splinters were reunited in the world's fastest jigsaw puzzle as the Amazon's body healed and forcibly created new red blood cells beneath the Grey Knight's hand. There before the crowd of women their fallen sister's flesh and skin sealed up to leave not even a scar, right before Xander's blood and nano-clanks sucked themselves forcibly back into Xander's palm in a blink of an eye.

Less than an instant later, the black nano-clank under-armor covered Xander's hand again, as it glowed blue and electric green with tangles of energy, just as Xander forced his energy shrouded hand into the dead Amazon's chest and shouted, "NOW LIVE!"

Electricity shot from Xander's hand and danced around the Amazon whose heart had stopped.

Muscles constricted and the woman's body danced under the electrical fury as her chest darted off the ground as the woman arched her back and came back to life with a scream and with wide eyes and open mouth as Xander's Spark would not be denied.

Xander shut off the current and stepped back as the panting women fell back to the dirt and clutched her chest as she panted, wide eyed and looked around, only to see Xander above her.

Xander's fury slowly left his face and a small smile crept across it. "Be at peace. You are back among your sister Amazons." Xander said gently and patted the woman's cheek from his kneeling position over her before leaning down to help her to a sitting position while also picking up his abandoned gauntlet and standing.

By the time Xander stood, the smile had left his face as he was confronted by the sight of the now fully healed Amazons staring silently at Xander with a mix of emotions on their faces.

Xander frowned at Queen Hippolyta and Artemis who stood next to her, noting that Artemis seemed to be fighting an internal battle between wanting to run to check on the Amazon that was sitting at Xander's feet versus wanting to stay far away from The Grey Knight.

"Amazons." Xander stated, and once again the power of the Spark was in his voice as he turned to address not only the Amazons that were around him but also those that stood on the walls looking down. "Today I have saved your lives, AGAIN, and even brought one of your own back from the dead. Today I have lived up to my honor and our alliance, while you have shamed your own honor, AGAIN." Xander's statement of "again" caused the women to jump slightly as his voice hitched into almost a growl every time he said it.

Xander silently panned to look the Amazons around him in the eye, while inside Xander's mind a series of plans and arguments were being bantered back and forth, and then in a final agreement, Xander knew what he needed to do.

"I will be getting my things from my campsite, and then I will be returning to your city and entering your gates." Xander commanded with the power of the Spark fully backing his statement. Even still, he saw both Artemis and Hippolyta about to speak, but cut them off by raising his voice.

"I WILL be entering your city and bringing my gear with me whether you like it or not, and I believe you realize by now that you cannot stop me." Alexander said with a glare at Hippolyta and the Shim-Tar that shut them both up but made both frown darkly. He continued speaking before they could say anything more, "And while I go to get my things together to bring to your city, my gear that was brought to help you I might add, I want you to think on one thing."

Xander said as he pointed at Hippolyta and looked her right in the eyes while taking a step towards her menacingly, "It was a woman who threw you into hell Hippolyta."

Then Xander's finger wheeled to point at Artemis and he growled louder and his voice carried across the entire crowd and even up to the tops of the walls where the newly healed guards were looking down on Xander, "It was a woman who tricked you into attacking your sisters in the night and then betrayed you to hell and your deaths."

Then, as the swarms of nano-clanks finished their business of healing the Amazons and flew through the air towards Xander, only to reform themselves into a black cape that attached itself to his armor, Xander threw his arms wide open and shouted to the sky so that every Amazon in the city could hear him, "IT WAS A WOMAN WHO TRIED TO KILL YOU ALL, TO WIPE THE AMAZON TRIBES FROM THE FACE OF THE WORLD AND TO CAST YOUR SOULS INTO HELL!"

Then Xander looked back at the women around him and said in his normal voice, unhindered by any sound effects of his armor and only with the power of his Spark, "But it was a man who fought his way into hell and saved your lives."

Xander reached down and presented his hand to the Amazon who was still on the ground at his feet. Carefully grabbing her hand and pulling her to stand beside him, Xander looked down on her, towering over her by several feet due not only to his natural height but also that of his power armor.

Smiling at the Amazon next to him Xander stated quietly, but loud enough that every woman around him heard, "It was a MAN who brought your dead back to life."

Xander looked up at Artemis, and then down at the revived Amazon next to him before carefully pushing the woman towards Artemis.

The freshly healed Bana-Mighdall Amazon rushed towards Artemis with tears in her eyes and both girls hugged each other. Artemis looked over the saved woman's shoulder mid-embrace just in time to catch Xander's next statement.

"I want you to think about this while I go and get my stuff." Xander commanded with blank face before striding purposefully forward towards where he had abandoned his helmet and right through the throng of standing Amazons.

The Amazons moved out of his way, splitting the crowd around him and silently watching as The Grey Knight walked through their midst as if he were Moses parting and walking through the Red Sea.

Cape billowing behind him as he moved.

Head held high.

Xander halted only a moment to retrieve his glaive and helmet from where they had been abandoned on the ground before marching resolutely back towards his camp; the only sound being the heavy footfalls of the power armor on the hard packed red dirt of hell as Xander did nothing to quiet his step.

Behind him, the Amazons looked at one another, and in their eyes the seeds of self-doubt in their beliefs bloomed and grew into a harvest of regret and shame. The shame to their honor was present in the looks shared between one warrior sister to her fellow Amazon and they started to realize that they had been wrong, and had wronged The Grey Knight in particular.

The Grey Knight's words had hit their hearts and shattered their pride as not only had they been defeated that day by the demons, but also by Alexander's words.

It was a quiet bunch that reentered the walls of Themyscira, much different than the prideful troop of Amazonian warriors who had left so sure of themselves earlier that day. Silent hugs were shared and exhausted freshly healed warriors supported each other as they reentered their city but left the gate open for the return of the Grey Knight.

Much had changed for the situation between Alexander and the Amazons, yet much more was to change while they were stuck on the plains of hell.

As the Amazons picked themselves off and returned to their city, and as The Grey Knight collected his gear and moved towards the city, in the distance was first heard a single "Thud."

Xander thought nothing of it. The Amazons on the walls thought nothing of the sound.

But then there was a second "Thud." And then a third, and then a forth which was followed quickly by a fifth and a sixth just as Xander in his Dreadknight armor arrived at the gates to the city carrying his gear and turned to look off into the distance.

The thudding sounded more like controlled booms now, and a repetitive pattern began to be heard that was stuttered at certain times and louder or drawn out at others.

Xander's genius level intellect figured it out quickly as his eyebrow quirked upwards and his thoughts were summed up in one word verbal word, "Drums."

High on the walls above Xander, the guards figured out what the sound was shortly after Xander had, and word quickly passed down the wall that something was happening.

Something was coming.

"Oh well," Xander said to himself as he turned and entered the city. As the massive doors closed behind the form of the Dreadknight system Xander's voice could be heard to murmur, "Well at least I won't have to worry about being bored until we are sent back to our home dimension."

* * *

**AN: BWA HA HA HA… um, sorry. I needed to get that out, but it had been too long since I was able to do that. Whew, I feel better getting this chapter out, though I'm sorry it wasn't as quickly published as I had hoped it to be; stupid real life, colds and day jobs! (*Michaelsuave shakes his fist in the air in mock furor*) If you're asking why I stopped it there at a potential cliffy, then the reason is simply that the next chapter is going to be a doozy in length in order to stop at the proper spot. Special thanks again go out to the readers and reviewers who give me ideas or commentary that helps inspire my muse. Special thanks also go out to my beta who has probably been bored since I haven't sent her anything in a long while. Ok, so thoughts? Ideas? Like it? Didn't like it? Give me your ideas people! Cheers!**


	36. Chapter 36: Siege

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN. Yeah, sorry about that semi-cliffhanger in the last chapter, but it had to end there. Now this next chapter is going to be a doozy, epic in length at approximately 33.5k words and with a lot of stuff happening all at the same relative time; because time moves differently in the different dimensions. All I need to say is, Xander's luck, both the good and the bad, is about to strike again. BWA HA HA HA HA HA…**

**AN2: This chapter has not been Beta read yet, so there may be mistakes still present. That said, I will be posting the beta version when my beta has a chance to finish editing the 61 pages of this epic length chapter. I didn't want you, the reader, to have to wait too much longer to see what happens next. I hope you enjoy it and give me your thoughts. Cheers!**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 36: Siege**

"They are in front of us, behind us, and we are flanked on both sides by an enemy that outnumbers us 29:1. They can't get away from us now!"  
- Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller, USMC

The drums had continued their staccato beat all through the afternoon and into the evening, sometimes rising in intensity, sometimes waning, but never disappearing or stopping and if anything increasing in the number of drums that were joining the call. Through all this, however, Xander ignored the ill-gotten bunch of demon beatniks and their illusive drum circle and rather focused on finally unpacking the shrunken hydroponics/laboratory and other supplies from his saddle bags.

No, this wasn't the same type of hydroponics that would have been more easily recognized in the California where he grew up; home of the hashish and land of the high. Rather the hydroponics set that Xander unshrunk, after taking it out of his pack and finding a large open plot of land, was a three story tall diamond hard glass encased food growing establishment that used a mixture of chemicals and nano-clank technology to speed up and then enlarge produce at an ever increasing rate; it even made different types of meat flavored protein in its laboratory. Frankly Xander was incredibly busy, as not only was he basically setting up a farm from scratch, he was also busy unloading crate after crate of medicine and dried goods. In the boxes were several thousand compound bows that Xander had explained to Hippolyta how to use and then let the Amazon's loose with, along with several million pre-packaged and shrunk arrows. Xander then made sure to unload the real necessities, namely several tons of Twinkies and chocolate. Though the Twinkies were an obvious must for being stuck in a hell dimension, Xander was more thrilled about having all the chocolate. "Why" you may ask? It was simple, you try being stuck in a hell dimension with several thousand women who all have their cycle's synched, you try that and let me know if you don't think having lots of chocolate to pass around isn't the most important thing in your life; Xander may have been more than slightly insane, but he wasn't stupid.

Xander continuously toiled under the hot sun while trying to get unloaded, all while herding cats; aka the recalcitrant Amazons who didn't know whether to act like children who had just had a spanking or whether they should fall back to acting like the prideful female warriors that they had always been.

Still, Xander was able to accomplish his work through modulating the tone of his voice so that he neither came across as kowtowing to the Amazons and their feeling of superiority but nor did he come across as commanding and ruling over them. Slowly, as the afternoon moved towards evening and the suns began to set, The Grey Knight and the Amazons had come to some sort of unspoken agreement to work together for their combined survival. Finally, right about the time that the torches and fires were being lit throughout the city, the last crate had been unloaded and unshrunk in its proper place, and Xander had a chance to finally take off his Grey Knight armor and semi-relax.

Xander had pitched his tent near the front gates of the city, situating himself and his demon slaying gear close to where it would be needed if there was a need for him to sally forth against a demonic foe. Sitting on a crate in only his black nano-clank armor, his Grey Knight armor clam shelled open and resting against a five foot square ammo crate, Xander sat on a chair some unnamed Amazon had given him while he puttered with a screwdriver and his damaged helmet.

"Come on you little bugger, get out of there." Xander groused to himself, biting his tongue as it was hanging out of the side of his mouth as he concentrated on trying to get the optical sensor to dislodge from its location in the eye socket of his skeletal helmet. The composite material of the optical sensors had melted while several of the metal parts in the sensors had outright burned out. The distinct sound of rattling metal could be heard in the sensors, like a burnt out light bulb that tinkled every time Xander's screwdriver slipped and jostled the helmet. To add insult to injury of the blasted screwdriver not getting just the right spot to eject the eye sensor, Xander's sweat from the day's battle and following work of unpacking continued to drip out of his hair and down his forehead, stinging his eyes.

"Crap!" Xander cursed as the sweat again got in his eye, just as the screwdriver slipped and stabbed his hand holding the helmet in place; the screwdriver bent when it impacted the palm of his nano-armored fist.

"Damn it!" Xander cursed again and threw the screwdriver and his helmet down onto the ground in disgust while he mentally ordered his armor to retreat and bare his hands so that he could wipe the sweat and grime out of his eyes.

"Um, Grey Knight." A female voice asked tentatively in slightly accented English.

"What?" Xander spat out without really looking who he was answering while trying to clear the stinging salt from his eyes.

"Oh, uh, sorry to bother you, I'll just leave you alone." The voice said hesitantly with a bit of a hitch in the voice, a second voice growled a bit in the background.

"No wait, sorry." Xander said as he further rescinded his armor so that his forearm was uncovered and he used that to finish wiping his face so he could see who he was talking to. Looking up Xander saw that it was the blonde Amazon whose life he had saved earlier that day, and she was looking hesitantly at him with a tray in her hands. Artemis was standing behind the blonde girl with a bit of a frown on the Shim Tar's face, yet it wasn't the same angry scowl that the Amazon had cast at Xander previously. From the smells wafting towards Xander's sensitive nose, whatever was on the tray smelled delicious.

Xander smiled at the girl, realizing that she must have only been about fourteen years old or there about, on the cusp of womanhood but not quite there yet given the bits of baby fat that still clung to her face. "Sorry about that, I was just frustrated and it has been a long day. What can I do for you…?" Xander drew out the last part of the question, implying that he wanted to know the girl's name.

"Dina." The girl replied with a slight blush to her cheeks while continuing to fight an internal battle between whether she should stare at her feet or actually gaze back at the hero who had saved her life.

Xander's smile grew a bit as he waited for her to add something after stating her name. Finally with a smile and a slight chuckle he decided to be nice so he winked at Artemis and spoke again to the girl, "It's nice to meet you Dina, I am Alexander, but you can call me Xander. What can I do for you?"

Dina looked hesitantly at Artemis, who nodded in encouragement before Dina turned and smiled at The Grey Knight.

"I noticed you have been busy working all day, and haven't had a chance to eat or clean up. All of the baths are full of women at the moment, but I brought you some soup and an aryballos and strigil to cleanse yourself with." Dina said with a smile in slightly accented but perfect English as she pulled back the cloth that covered the tray, exposing a steaming bowl of barley and pork soup, a clamshell decorated round pot, and a weird curved stick or blade made out of bronze. Dina moved forward and put the tray down next to Xander on a crate of arrows that Xander had scattered his tools across the top.

Xander smiled at the young girl, "It smells good, but um, what is the aryballos and stirgil, I think you called it, what are they for?" He questioned as he took another good sniff of the stew and realized how hungry he was.

Dina looked quizzically at Xander, but before she could reply, Artemis answered Xander's question a bit snootily, "Why to clean yourself of course. Does the world of Men not contain the common decency to clean themselves like civilized people?"

Dina frowned, turned and punched Artemis in the shoulder, "Be nice sister. This is the one who saved not only my life, but yours twice, and you dishonor us with your words." Dina said with some heat in her voice. "Now apologize and explain the proper use of the stirgil as the Knight obviously hasn't used one before." Dina demanded as she crossed her arms and glared at her older sister.

Artemis paled for a second, and then blushed at her sister's rebuke before turning to Alexander and giving a slight nod of her head with a bit of anger and humiliation in her eyes, "I apologize." Artemis gritted out, but it was easily recognizable that she didn't really want to apologize.

Dina stomped her sandaled foot and glared at Artemis, and Artemis hurried to her explanation as she looked at Xander and moved towards the aryballos pitcher and stirgil. "The aryballos is a pitcher of perfumed oil which you rub onto your skin." Artemis explained in English as she picked up the little pitcher and poured a small bit of oil into her hand before rubbing the oil up and down her exposed left arm from shoulder to wrist, making sure not to miss the underside.

Xander couldn't help but smile at the play of muscles in Artemis's arm as she oiled herself up, but his smile didn't seem to irk Artemis so much as to cause her to blush a bit as he admired her athletic form.

Quickly continuing the explanation, Artemis followed her earlier statement by picking up the curved bronze stick, "The stirgil," she said as she referenced the dull blade in her hand, "Is then used to scrape off the oil along with any sweat and grime that may have accumulated during your endeavors." She finished the explanation by deftly scraping off the oil and leaving her arm with a slight sheen of oil but otherwise clean and with a healthy glow to the skin of her arm. Finished, she took a step back after setting down the stirgil next to the pitcher and turned to Alexander. "It is proper to clean first before eating, at least while in civilized company." She couldn't help but add a slight underhanded comment at the end. A comment that earned an "ahem!" and glare from her sister Dina.

Xander merely smiled and nodded politely, ignoring the small slight for now, as he pushed his hair back out of his eyes, his hair having grown out a bit since his last haircut and leaving his dark hair touching the back of his neck but not to his shoulders. Standing up, Xander reached for the aryballos pitcher while at the same time mentally calling his armor to shrink into a pair of tight almost boxer-brief type shorts that clung to the muscles of his legs.

Dina eeped, Artemis blushed, and across the courtyard from Xander an Amazon carrying a load of wood walked into a poll and fell over as she was distracted by the sudden exposure of the male Adonis in their midst.

Xander just smirked to himself as his senses took this all in, and he realized that he had an audience as he started to oil up the bulging muscles of his exposed chest and arms before moving to the parts of his shoulders he could reach and then his legs.

"Holly Hera thank you!" Xander's super hearing heard muttered from an Amazon sharpening spears somewhere behind his right shoulder.

Xander tried to hide his smirk but failed to fully keep the blushing Artemis and Dina from seeing the sparkle in his eye. Xander winked at Artemis when he caught her checking him out, and the Shim-Tar blushed scarlet for a second, looked away, before realizing what she was doing and then turning to glare at Xander with her arms crossed before her chest.

Xander just chuckled, which caused Artemis to turn even more red and angry but refuse to look away from Alexander as her pride wouldn't allow her to flee in humiliation from a man… even such a good looking man such as Alexander.

Not so long ago, Xander would have been the one to be bright red with embarrassment just at the idea of oiling himself up half naked in front of several hundred openly staring women, some of them even drooling a little bit. However, after living with Tara and Dora for so many months, and after having sex with the likes of Catwoman, there wasn't much about his body that embarrassed Xander anymore. Gone was the shy boy who drew attention away from his body through the use of baggy clothing with glaring colors that blinded the eye. Here today was a tall hulking figure straight out of the artistic drawings of Greek heroes, but with the impossible muscle mass that only came from the meta-gene or some super athletic strength and ability. Xander's body was that of a god's among mere mortals, and through the use of Science and the innate powers of the primal, Xander's body was a honed statute of handsome beauty and athleticism that Michelangelo couldn't even dream of when sculpting his famous statute of David.

Covered in oil that glistened and shown in the torch light, muscles playing and moving under his skin as he rubbed the oil into his body, well, the Amazons might have disliked men as a whole, but they weren't dead. And now, presented with a male body that could make a lesbian think about maybe batting for the home team, the Amazons stared in silent drooling awe.

Finishing with the oil, Xander first hesitantly, then with a skill as if borne to it, used the stirgil to scrape the oil from his shoulders, chest, arms and then legs, starting at the top and then working his way down. Alexander had to admit that it felt rather refreshing actually, and it was a nice boost to his ego to be able to stun the Amazons after everything they had said to him in the past.

An idea came to Xander, and with a smirk he turned to the Amazon Artemis who was now more staring than glaring at him. Holding up the stirgil and aryballos to the Shim-Tar he asked, "Would you be so kind as to get my back?" he questioned with a twinkle in his eye and his patented lopsided grin.

Artemis's eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open, stunned for a second, before it shut with a 'clack' before dropping open and closing several times as she was caught speechless by the tall heavily muscled man before her, half naked and shining with oil asking her to scrub his back.

Just as Artemis's senses came back to her and she glared as she started to spit out an insult, Xander interrupted, "Or I could ask your little sister." He said, his smirk growing a bit as he looked at Dina who 'Eep'd' again, the young girl almost looking like a tomato or a pomegranate her face was so red. "I mean, it is the least you could do since I saved your life twice." Xander added, knowing he had Artemis caught like a fly in his web.

Artemis looked frantically from her little sister to Alexander, then back again, before glaring at Xander and stating, "Fine! Turn around." The prideful war leader of the Bana-Mighdall Amazons refused to be embarrassed by this fine hunk of a man who looked so amazing in that oil that she could eat him up…

Artemis shook her head to get those thoughts out of her head, and blushed more. Xander's smile grew, almost like he had guessed her thinking. Unwilling to be daunted by a Man, though the thoughts in her head noted that she was no longer referring to him as a 'mere' man, she did a rush job of pouring the oil onto his back and rubbing it in before scraping it off and flinging the stirgil down when she finished.

"There! Done." Artemis said in a huff, swinging around so fast that he braid almost swung up to hit Xander in the face as she marched off in a tizzy, cursing men and her attraction to the annoying pest under her breath but not loud enough for a normal person to hear as she stomped off.

Of course, The Grey Knight wasn't a normal person, a little voice questioned in the back of his mind if he had ever been 'normal,' so he yelled after the departing Shim-Tar, "Thanks Artemis! Appreciate it… oh, and you're not bad looking yourself." He added with a smirk and a wink at the Bana-Mighdall Amazon who had turned to look at him again when he had addressed her.

The look of shock went across her face, before she went red with humiliation and then anger, exclaiming a loud inarticulate growl of "GRRRAAAAH!" as she turned away from the infuriating man and kicked a bucket out of her way as she stormed off.

Xander's smile grew across his face as he turned to Dina and winked, "Was it something I said?" He asked semi-jokingly. Dina just giggled in reply.

Xander just smiled at the girl who was younger than his adopted sister Cassy. With a thought, his armor grew out of its shorts configuration to cover him again from neck to feet while cleaning off his body through their normal systems. Xander had too much fun teasing the Shim Tar, but he did note that the oil cleaning felt good. His nano-clank armor finished rippling and shaping itself into clothing, this time turning into a pair of jeans and a black long sleeved t-shirt as night was settling in and it was starting to grow a bit cold.

Turning and reaching down beside him, Xander retrieved a bundle of firewood that was sitting there, and then with a blur punched the ground with a momentarily armor covered fist before setting up a pyramid of wood and then lighting it on fire with the toastmaster that was sitting on top of the armor crate. Before Dina realized what The Grey Knight was doing, a roaring campfire was already lit before her and she could feel the warmth chasing away the chill that had started to creep in as the suns went down.

Sitting down and pointing to a crate a little to the side of him, Xander politely offered with a smile, "Care to join me as I eat this delicious smelling stew you provided?"

Dina looked at The Grey Knight hesitantly, then back to the direction her sister had disappeared in, then back at Alexander. Before she could say no, Xander sweetened the deal.

"Come on, I won't bite, I promise." He said with a smile as he sat down in his chair and picked up the bowl of soup and set it in his lap. "You can tell me about life growing up in your Amazon tribe, and I can tell you the story about the female warrior who was my hero growing up. And when I finish eating, I'll break out the chocolate and marshmallows and teach you how to make s'mores for dessert." He said with a caring smile.

If the offer of a story about a female warrior who was The Grey Knight's hero wasn't enough, the promise of chocolate and this mysterious s'mores for dessert sealed the deal. Sitting down across from Xander, Dina silently waited for him to start speaking as he took a bite of his stew before swallowing and speaking.

"So let me tell you about the Slayer, one girl chosen in all the world to fight back the powers of evil and to slay the demons and vampires that preyed on human kind." Xander started the story.

Up on the walls and around the courtyard, other Amazons slowed their work to listen, while conversations slowed and stilled so they could hear what this male warrior had to say. Thus one more seed had been planted, and the relationship between The Grey Knight and the Amazon tribes not only started to heal, but also started to grow into something better.

Meanwhile in the darkness of the night outside the walls of Themyscira, the drums continued to play their seemingly random but continuous beat.

* * *

The library in Sunnydale High School was quiet even though it wasn't empty like the rest of the school was that time of evening. Though "Sunnydale" syndrome was strong in the population of that southern California town, there was just something that told the natives of the city that it was best to be home and behind closed doors once the sun went down. Normally this was the time when Buffy and the rest of the Scoobies would be getting to be most active, prepping for patrol, researching the next big bad that was due to poke their head out again that night, or just spending time together before they once again entered the trenches in the seemingly never-ending battle with the things that went bump in the night.

Instead, Buffy sat quietly staring off at the shelves of books lost deep in thought while Willow again reread the latest edition of the tales of Xander while in hell. Cordilia had left shortly after the final school bell, having to go to cheerleader practice and then some dinner her parents were dragging her to, while In the background Oz picked softly on his guitar. Oz was deep in thought but allowing his hands to play his unspoken thoughts through his music; which was really the only forum of communication that Oz was ever very expressive with. Jonathan and Andrew were in Giles office discussing Andrew's contacts at Vertigo printing, magic, and how to figure out how come Xander was showing up in a comic book now.

Suddenly, Buffy blinked and broke the semi-silence, "Do you think we failed him Willow?"

Willow had been reading the last part in the latest comic book that they had, the part that spoke about Xander's hero Buffy the Vampire slayer. In turn, Buffy's statement startled Willow, and she set the volume 35 comic book down and blinked before asking, "What? Failed who?"

Buffy turned from staring at the books to scooch up in her seat and look at Willow, "Xander. Do you think we failed him?" Buffy asked, but continued talking before Willow could answer. "I mean, I always looked at him as the normal one, the backup who was good for a joke or to keep our spirits up. Helpful with research sometimes, but more often a distraction… do you think we failed him as a friend, or stopped him from really make a difference like he wanted to?" Buffy asked honestly, doubts and fears of past failures darting through her mind as she remembers how she treated Xander at the Bronze after she returned from the summer with her father in LA. She remembers using Xander to get at Angel, totally ignoring Xander's feelings to get what she wanted and then rubbing it in that she had never thanked him for saving her life.

Buffy stared at the wall and coupled those painful memories with the truth she learned from reading the comic books where Xander told the Amazon's about his life with the Slayer, that it was Xander that had forced Angel to go down into the Master's lair and that it was Xander that had revived her and brought her back to life. It was Xander that had always been there for her, ever since she had arrived in Sunnydale, and if there was one friend who would have fought and died for her, it was Xander. Sure there had been the situation with the Primal, but now Buffy was kicking herself for holding a grudge against Xander for that situation and she was really feeling guilty for holding onto her anger at Xander for dusting Angel. Since Buffy was being honest with herself, she admitted that she hadn't really minded that Xander hadn't been with them ever since Halloween, ignoring the fact that he had saved her from Spike that night. She had more been focusing on the thoughts of Xander as a liability, as a normal person who shouldn't have been stuck in the fray of the battle with the vampires, that he should have stayed normal and left the fighting to people who could actually help out. If she was really honest with herself, then Buffy had to admit that there was a part of her that had been happy that he was able to live a life in another dimension free from the evil that stalked Sunnydale.

"No, no of course not. Xander was our friend, is our friend, he would never have thought that you failed him…" Willow's babbling answer, trying to make Buffy get out of her funk, interrupted Buffy's stream of thoughts.

Buffy just turned to look at Willow and stared for a second as the red headed friend babbled on, filling the silence with words.

"No, I think I did fail him." Buffy slowly stated, "I was so focused on being forced to be the Slayer and not able to live a normal life that I either kind of ignored him or just expected him to do what I wanted or help with what I needed." Buffy said honestly to herself but easily loud enough to where even Oz stopped playing on his guitar to listen.

"No, no that's not true Buffy, you were his friend…" Willow started to intercede, shaking her head in disagreement.

"Was I?" Buffy said looking right at Willow, and stopping the babble before it could start again. "I mean really, I knew he liked me, but then you remember what I did to him at the Bronze, just to get Angel's attention before I just left Xander there. You remember what I did to you too, I knew you liked him." Buffy said before looking to Oz, "That was of course before you Oz, but still I'm sorry."

To which Oz merely nodded his head in understanding without saying a word. Willow was silent, just looking at Buffy as this was the first time Buffy had really acknowledged that she had hurt Willow's feelings with taking Xander away again, especially after Willow had spilled to Buffy how she had a crush on Xander since forever.

Buffy continued on and waved her arms in the air as she spoke, "I mean, he saved my life and all I could do was whine about how Angel this or Angel that, or how hard my life was, never once asking about what his life was like at home and why he was always free no matter what time of night or day. I mean, if I needed his help or for him to just go get donuts for us only because I was having a Slayer craving, he dropped everything and did it." Buffy stated with a sigh as she looked down for a moment before looking back at Willow, "I mean, at least you knew about his family and did something about it. Letting him crash at your place, I never even asked why he could get away so easily without his parents ever saying anything about it… I mean, I at least had to make up excuses or sneak out of my window otherwise my mom would have grounded me." Buffy sighed again.

"I screwed up." Buffy finished before going silent, staring at the books blankly again.

Willow looked at Oz, trying to see if he could add any words that might help in the situation, but Oz just shrugged back in reply. He wasn't the psych type to be able to help Buffy with her emotions, that just wasn't him as he tended to keep everything in except for when talking to Willow in private.

Giles, Andrew and Jonathan walked out of Giles office. Giles cleared his throat, interrupting the conversation as he addressed Buffy, Willow and Oz with a frown on his face, "We just got off the phone with the public relations rep for Vertigo press." He explained as he came in and stood by the table, now having the gang's full attention.

"They were first denying all existence of such a comic book, but then finally admitted that their printing machines had printed off several series of the comic, but that they had no idea how." Giles finished explaining while taking off his glasses to give them a thorough polishing with his handkerchief.

"Yeah." Andrew chimed in excitedly, "They said that the night watch came in and that the printing machines just came to life and started printing out the comic books by themselves! It's so cool! The manufacturing engineers that they keep on staff couldn't get the machines to stop, and even when they took all of the reams of paper away from it, and all the ink, the machines still spit out the comics. It's been happening every night, and some nights multiple different issues are published. It's like the coolest thing to happen in the comic book world since the Death of Superman and Superman Returns!" Andrew said excitedly.

"Indeed." Giles chimed in, his glare at Andrew silencing the lad and causing Andrew to become suddenly interested with his feet. Giles turned to look at Willow and Buffy, "They asked us how we had gotten a hold of the information we had, and if we knew how to stop it from happening. That's when we hung up. We are still no closer to figuring out how these comics are being printed or even why." Giles finished with a sigh of his own as he set his glasses back on his nose and answered hesitantly on their findings.

"Guys, I think I know who is responsible." Oz stated, his voice cutting through the silence after Gile's statement, for when Oz spoke people listened.

Oz picked up the comic book that was sitting in front of him, issue five though it didn't really matter the number. Pointing his figure to what was written right under the issue number, the cover facing the rest of the gang, everybody could read the name of the writers for the comic book:

"Mix & Spitlick," Willow red it out loud before gasping and paling.

It was silent for a second as everybody took in the latest info, but then Buffy broke the silence.

"Isn't that the name of that imperial what's it that is keeping Xander in that other dimension?" Buffy questioned.

Jonathan smirked before quipping, "I think Mister Mxyzptlk is a bit short to be a storm trooper, the word you're looking for is dimensional imp, not imperial."

Buffy's responding glare at being corrected had Jonathan remembering that he may have left something he needed to get in Giles office.

"The will to live is strong with that one." Andrew mumbled to himself, as he watched Levinson escape to Gile's office.

The other's ignored the quip by rather watching the now angry Slayer stomp across the library and punch through one of the wooden training dummies that had been set up.

"GRAAAAH!" Buffy shouted as her fist took off the head of the training dummy in an explosion of sawdust. Turning she started to stalk towards the exit door to the library while muttering, "Just can't get a break, and now that thing that's messing with Xander is screwing with us also. I'm going to go slay something, come on Willow and Oz." Buffy finished as she left, grabbing a battle axe from beside the door as she stormed out to go on patrol.

Willow and Oz just looked at each other, before hurrying to catch up with the irate slayer. Between the introspective thinking, and the imp messing with her friend and now the rest of the Scoobies, Buffy was going to lay some serious ass kicking on any Vampires that were foolish enough to cross her that night.

* * *

"GRAAAAH!" Wonder Woman shouted as she punched the head off of a stone golem that had charged her with a spear. Around her, Batman, Superman and the Green Lantern also destroyed the stone Spartoi, the supposed children of Ares, fearsome warriors that supposedly grew from the teeth of the slain dragon that defended Ares' sacred spring. In this case, statutes that lined the halls and the gardens defending this hidden temple on the island of Cyprus had come to life the moment that the Justice League had crossed the threshold into the temple in their search for Circe.

The entrance to the temple had been between the straddled legs of a large marble statute depicting Ares, some twenty feet tall and made from what looked like a single piece of stone, fists planted defiantly on his hips.

All it took was one moment of hyperactivity by Flash, who hadn't headed Diana's warning not to cross the threshold, and then a surprisingly fast stone fist had connected with the speedy runner's head, knocking the Flash unconscious to the ground.

Superman had saved The Flash's life when he had sped forward and caught the giant descending stone foot of the golem shaped like Ares, saving Flash's life but getting a fist to the gut from the giant magical statue. The blow had sent Superman smashing through the wall of the temple. A hole that had Superman fighting a retreating action out of as the stone Spartoi inside the temple came to life and attacked the Man of Steel; forcing him back to the garden.

Bronze javelins were launched through the air at the heroes fought a holding action to protect the downed Flash who was shakily getting back to his feet after Batman administered first aid and one of the Flash's own Sparkbucks medicated caffeine shots. Soon the Flash was back in the fight, and the heroes continued to battle the increasing numbers of stone warriors that poured forth from the hidden temple.

Batman flipped and twisted through the air, launching himself off of the head of two attacking warriors that he kicked off of before landing on the shoulders of the large magical golem of Ares. With a deft flick, Batman's black cape wrapped itself tightly over the head of the giant statute and then he darted away but left the cape behind; jumping of the giant statues shoulders before the magical construct could catch the Dark Knight.

The Green Lantern zipped above, dodging arrows and Javelins thrown at him, every now and then transforming a shield that would block one of the incoming missiles, all while using his ring to form sledge hammers that crushed the attacking golems from above.

"Hold the line, I think I can see the last of them exiting the temple!" John Stewart yelled out to his fellow Justice League members.

The Flash zipped by, tripping several of the Sparoti archers that were lined up together, and making them fall over like a row of dominoes. Superman zipped in and stomped on them, crushing torsos and stone limbs before the constructs could get back up. Superman took a blow to the face from a pack of hoplites, and reeled back, only to charge back in punching, every fist blow shattering and pulverizing the marble statutes while bronze arrows and javelins continued to bounce off his frame. "We can do this, but somebody is going to have to take out the large statute, I can't seem to do it damage. It must be magical!" Kal-El yelled over the sound of the fray, now back to back with Wonder Woman who blocked spears with her bracers before knocking the golems' heads off.

"I've got it." Said the gruff voice of Batman, just as the statute of Ares finished untangling the cape from its head and looked down at the Dark Knight.

Batman glared up at the statute silently and defiantly. The statute pulled its fist back to bury Batman into the ground, only for the Dark Knight to pull out a little black stick with a blinking red button on it, and press the red button.

"KA-BOOM!" The two C4 filled batarangs Batman had planted on the shoulders of the giant statute exploded, shattering the giant golem's torso and causing it to collapse in a pile of rubble, the stone head landing on top of the heap.

Batman turned and dodged a thrusting sword that should have taken out his spine, and then he was once again smashing and bashing his way through the throng of stone ancient Greek warriors, more often times causing the golems to strike each other rather than testing his own fists against their stone bodies.

Finally, after a long grueling thirty minute fight, the last statute fell to the ground and shattered as Wonder Woman's lariat wrapped up the Sparoti's ankles and then pulled its feet out from under it as Wonder Woman gave it a tug; smashing the statute to bits as it hit the hard marble floor.

"Whew, that was a doozy, going to need to top off again." Flash said as he smiled, wiped the sweat from his face and then took another shot of pure Sparkbucks goodness.

The Flash was immediately energized, but it was clear that Batman and the Green Lantern were a bit spent, where as Wonder Woman was breathing a bit heavily and Superman seemed as fresh as ever; the bruise from the magical statute healing rapidly on his cheek.

The Flash did a fast run around the gardens that they were standing in before appearing in a proverbial flash and asking, "So that was easy, what's next?" With a big smile on his lips.

Unfortunately for the Justice League, Murphy was listening, and he didn't like to be taunted.

A rattle and grinding sound ushered up from behind Flash, and he turned slowly around just in time to see the remnants of the large statute of Ares shake, and then jump into the air to reform into a whole golem again. The statue of Ares roared, and suddenly all around the garden the broken Sparoti statues soared back to life, dust and stone debris flying through the air to reform the golem back into whole forms.

Batman growled and turned to The Flash, "I'm blaming you for that one." The Dark Knight stated heatedly.

Wally looked around quickly and then shrugged to Batman, hands held out in chagrin, "Oops, heh my bad." The Flash stated, before disappearing in a blur just in time to miss getting stomped into the ground by the giant warrior golem.

The heroes glared at The Flash, but that was about all they had time for as the fight was back on and more dire than ever as even the remains of the sparoti statutes that the Justice League had been standing on came back to life and tried to stab the heroes while doing so.

Super strength met hard stone, green energy crush smashed or bashed marble, bronze weapons were turned on their owners or diverted to hit the neighboring warriors, and still the battle raged as the Justice League heroes were now totally surrounded and struggling to stand their ground as several of their number tired and ran low on weapons; in the case of Batman.

In short, it wasn't looking good for the good guys.

However the tides of fate have been known to change, and change quickly at that.

With a snap of energy, green colored portals opened up all around the garden disgorging a horde of black armored soldiers with green and red glowing runes covering their armor, the cavalry had arrived.

"Forz Da Leviathan!" The Jägers roared as they spilled forth from the portals, assault rifles firing full automatic and cutting multiple golems in half as the troopers surged through their portals five at a time and then proceeded to cut a swath through the outskirts of the throngs of magical statues.

The Jägers charged headlong into the statues, confident in the strength of their armor as they whooped and roared due to the joy of joining battle and being able to let rip.

A sparoti that had just grabbed hold of Batman and was about to crush the Dark Knight received a gun butt to the back of the head that shattered the marble statues skull, only to have both of its arms chopped off by glowing power claws as a Jäger paused to free the hero of Gotham.

"Tanks for da pepperz for dat pie. It vas delicious!" The Jägerkin paused to thank the Dark Knight and shake Batman's hand vigorously before darting back in the fray, leaving a startled Bruce Wayne to stare for a moment before growling and going back to fighting.

While the majority of the heroes and Jägerkin troopers were fighting the hundreds of rebuilt Sparoti, one Jäger decided to take on the giant statue of Ares.

"Comez onz bigz guy, you'z wantz somes of me?" The Jäger taunted the statute as she charged the giant golem.

"Klang!" The twenty something foot tall statute of Ares backhanded the attacking armored trooper, sending the female Jägermonster flying across the garden to bowl over several stone golems.

"WEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee!" The female Jäger yelled in joy as she flew through the air before crushing several of the sparoti. Hopping up to her feet and shaking her head, she grinned maniacally behind her helmet before charging the statue again. "Letz see ifz yaz can doez thatz again!" She taunted.

Sure enough, the flying figure of an armored Jäger went sailing through the air again as she once again received a backhand from the fast moving statue.

Another green portal opened and Alec Holland and his war mages stepped through, just in time to duck the flying Jägerkin who was laughing like crazy as she flew through the air.

Alec turned to look from where the Jäger landed to back towards what had sent her flying. Seeing the giant golem coming his way, Alec blinked once before his right hand darted down to his side to grab his heavy bolter pistol and bring it to bear on the head of the charging statute.

"Boom Boom Boom Boom…" The pistol chugged out, launching explosive tipped rocket propelled rounds into the face, neck and chest of the statue; blowing off large hunks of the golem's stone figure. Simultaneously, Alec's left hand pointed at the large statue and the vines and bushes scattered around the charging giant golem bloomed and grew in the blink of an eye, covering over and locking onto the limbs of the stone monstrosity and bringing the golem to a halting stop.

Quickly looking around Alec saw Wonder Woman and yelled out to her, "What's the situation?"

Wonder Woman grunted in effort as she tore a bronze shield off of the arm of a sparoti, punched the stone warrior in the chest and shattered it, before launching the shield like a discus to bisect a second golem at the waist.

Taking a brief breather, Diana turned and yelled back to Alec, "We followed a clue to the temple, but the statues keep coming back to life after we crush them." She finished, only to duck a javelin that was meant for her head before giving a yell and flying fist first into the chest of the marble warrior who had thrown the weapon.

Alec twisted to take in the view, blew off the head of another warrior who was just turning to look at him, and then waved to the necromancer who had exited the portal last.

"You! Necromancer, see if you can't suck the life out of these monsters will you." The former Swamp Thing commanded before pointing to the remaining mages, "You, you and you, crush anything that isn't organic." To which the three remaining mages nodded.

Fists of earth shot out of the ground to grab sparoti, pulling them into the ground while invisible sledgehammers of air crushed or slashed through the ancient Greek statues, while the third mage threw his hands out, and from each of his fingers blue arrows of magic flew through the air to twist and turn through the fight until they impacted a statue which promptly disintegrated.

Still, Alec's and the three war mage's efforts were just a distraction for the actions of the necromancer. Calling out in a language that was a mixture of the moans of the dead and sounded like it required the speaker to slit their tongue in order to pronounce it, the Necromancer planted his staff in the earth before his hands started to circle and fingers twitched in some arcane ritual. The sound of the death-mage's voice grew louder as he chanted, and the hair on the back of the necks of the Justice League member's stood on edge. Still the heroes and the soldiers of the Leviathan fought on against the hordes of stone warriors until, with a yell and an out sweeping of his black robed arms, a blast of dark magic shot out in a radial circle from the Necromancer, and where it touched the living shivered, and the stone golems died.

The sound of heavy bronze weapons and armor clattering to the ground was mixed with the sounds of stone crumbling and thumping into the hard packed dirt, the last few gunshots leaving the barrels of the Jägers assault weapons punctuated the sound of the disintegrating sparoti and the end of the large statue of Ares.

The heroes and the platoon of soldiers heaved a short sigh of relief, as they looked at the devastation that they had wrought on the once pristine and green garden. The once straight stone path that had curved through green shrubs and flowers now was pockmarked and covered in loose soil or the remains of shattered golems. To the side several golems were half buried in the ground, only the head sticking up from the dirt where one of the mages had planted them. Additionally, what had once been green in the garden was now brown and withered from the touch of the necromancer's spell. Only Alec's magical nature and the infusion of special nano-clanks from Xander had saved the green growth that made up the former Swamp Thing's body, and Alec took a moment to glare at the Necromancer, who merely shrugged in silent reply.

"Ok, great, now let's go inside." The Flash blurted out, still on a caffeine and adrenaline high from the battle. Turning, he darted towards the temple door, the threshold of which had started the battle in the first place.

Alec frowned and twitched a finger, and a root shot out of the ground, just in time to trip the blur that was the fastest man in the world.

The Flash rolled and tumbled head over heels, finally ending upside down and perched next to the door to the temple. Shaking his head, Wally West rolled over on the ground to look back at the man wearing the officer uniform of the Leviathan. "Hey! What was that for?" The Flash complained.

Alec turned to look at Wonder Woman and gave the warrior princess a slight nod, "I see what you were talking about. He really should wean back on his coffee intake." Alec stated, receiving a slight smile and nod from Diana in reply. Alec ignored the Flash's question and instead turned to his assigned battle mages, "Check the temple for magical traps and clear the path for us, we don't want to trip any other protections of the temple. Jägers breach the door after the mages clear the path." Alec ordered his troops.

"Hey, who said you could order us around?" The Green Lantern demanded with a glare.

Alec merely turned to stare at the Green Lantern for a moment, before ignoring the man and turning back to directing his troops who were clearing the path.

"Hey, I was talking to you…!" John Stewart said and took a threatening step forward, only to be held back by the gentle but unbending hand that Superman raised to hold the Green Lantern back.

"Peace John, we don't know what other magical traps may be present other than the statues." Superman, the last son of Krypton added, holding back the angry Green Lantern. Superman turned to look at Batman, and the Dark Knight nodded in grudging agreement. Neither of them really liked the forceful actions of the Leviathan or his troops, but both were smart enough to realize that one of their major weaknesses and dislikes was magic. In this case, the Leviathan's troops seemed to be the experts on the scene.

The three war mages went towards the door, and one began to chant and wave his hands about, while another began to read from the tomb that was dangling from their side. A few minutes later, a gold sheen flashed over the doorway, before there was a flash of red and then a white lattice work seemed to appear over the doorway before disappearing. The mages turned to Alec and silently nodded, and Alec pointed towards the door while sub-vocalizing commands into his radio system to command the Jägers to clear the temple of any physical traps. The heavily armored soldiers stormed through the door, and the occasional crash or boom could be heard to issue out of the temple.

Finally a large "Thud!" sounded and the ground shook, and the heroes, mages and Alec silently waited. Alec must have received a signal of some sort, because he nodded to himself before turning to the Justice League heroes and ushered his hand towards the door. "After you, you were here first after all." He said with a bit of a smirk; apparently Xander's manners and sense of humor were contagious as Alec's words caused both Batman and the Green Lantern to growl at the smirking Alec as they passed into the temple.

A long hallway was dotted with broken arrows and a crushed axe blade that must of come from a trap in one of the walls. Finally a giant stone block that looked to have once blocked the end of the tunnel came into view, but now the hulking stone block had a hole blown straight through the middle of it and large enough for two people to walk through side by side.

Alec and the band of heroes exited the shattered blocking stone to see a large white marble stone room that was decorated with a motif of crossed swords, shields and spears. In the middle of the room was a large open pool of bubbling red water that looked as if it was blood. Assumedly it was water tainted by minerals from the deep, but the crimson red color and the bubbles that issued from deep within it made it appear that it was a growing puddle of spilled blood; fitting considering it was a sacred pool for the god of war Ares. A hole in the ceiling of the cavern like temple allowed a light to shine down from above and highlight the bubbling waters, and magically lit torches lined the walls at a height far above a normal human's reach.

Along the walls of the inner temple stood statues depicting the Greek gods. In the center overlooking the pool was a statue of Ares, and to his left and right were Zeus and Hera followed by the female deities on the right side of the temple and the male deities on the left. Sure enough, on the right hand side of the temple was a statue of Hecate, and one of the mages looked at his tome before looking up at Alec and pointing to the statue while shaking his head.

"Shit." Alec cursed and looked down at his feet before back at Wonder Woman and her friends. "She's not here, it was a false positive again."

Wonder Woman and the heroes looked around at the inside of the temple for a moment. Wonder Woman had just turned around to look at Alec Holland when she realized that he was bending down with a vial to grab some of the water from Ares' sacred fountain.

"Don't touch that!" She cried out in alarm, worried that the god of War would smite down the former Swamp Thing for daring to touch his fountain… only nothing happened.

Alec capped the vial of red water, the water seeming to move and bubble on its own inside the vial. Turning to face the stunned Wonder Woman and the other Justice League members, Alec quizzically asked, "Why ever not? Waste not want not after all, and I'm sure the Leviathan would want to get a sample of this if he were here."

"Because if you're not favored by the God of War, then he could have struck you down for daring to touch his sacred fountain." Wonder Woman explained, her eyes darting a look to the statute that seemed to loom over the pool and then back to Alec.

Alec looked at the vial, and then back at Wonder Woman and smirked, "Well then, it appears that the God of War favors the Leviathan and his people. After all, we have won two wars in as many months, and our Grey Knight now brings war to the plains of hell. You best hope that we continue to receive that god's blessing for it should bring the return of your people Princess." Alec said with a smile. Making a little bow to Diana, Alec then gave a jaunty bow to the statute of Ares for it wasn't wise to disrespect the gods.

With that the commander of the First Platoon of The Leviathan's Arcane Soldiers waved his arm, and Alec stepped through the portal that opened. Around the room green portals shot to life and swallowed the soldiers throughout the temple and its grounds.

Behind them they left the Justice League heroes, all of them both hoping and fearing that The Leviathan, and more importantly The Grey Knight, had the favor of Ares the God of War.

* * *

The constant sound of compound bow strings twanging and thwipping arrows into targets down range was counterpointed by the constant pounding of the drums in the distance. The drums had continued without cease and without any readably visible drummers whom Xander could shoot to stop the insufferable racket. Even a little clank who had been sent out as a scout couldn't visibly locate the drummers, but echolocation was a different matter. The drums were coming from underneath the surface of the plateau, and several sound bearings had pointed to the fact that there was more than one drummer, many many more in fact. Whatever was playing the drums couldn't be good Xander assumed, and Hippolyta and Artemis agreed. Thus for the last week and a half the Amazons practiced with the new weapons that The Grey Knight had brought with him into the hell dimension.

"Hold." Artemis commanded as she watched a line of one hundred Amazons stand at the firing line with their new compound bows in a resting downward position. Each archer had ten arrows planted in a hay block on the ground at their feet, and their targets were a good thirty yards down range with a further target at sixty yards.

"Archers may nock arrows and loose all ten on initial command. Five front target, five back… FIRE!" Artemis commanded, and like a well oiled military machine the Amazons smoothly swept an arrow from the ground, nocked the arrow and drew back the string to their shoulder before launching the missile down range. A solid barrage of arrows impacted the front targets, rocking the hay bales back with the impact as the compound bows had been tuned to a draw weight between eighty and one hundred pounds depending on the Amazon.

Each archer had five arrows neatly impact the bulleye and inner rings of the front targets before five more arrows were in the air towards the back target; each arrow was followed by another before the first even had time to hit the back target. The Amazons were such incredible markswomen with the bows that Xander had decided to stick with what they knew when he brought the upgraded weaponry for the female warriors. It was one thing to have the heavier firepower of the guns, but arrows were mostly reusable and the Amazons had already been extensively trained in their use such that the addition of cams and wheels didn't really affect their aim.

"You know, the use of the cam system on those compound bows allows you to take more time to aim if you want. Your arms shouldn't get tired because the bow takes the strain rather than your arm when pulling it back." Xander looked up and spoke from where he was working at a bench next to the archery range, working on trying to get the Jarvis AI back into service. Xander had previously used the table to help tune each compound bow to the draw strength that best suited the individual Amazon, but now he was arm deep into the inner workings of the inside of his helmet. Much like his pockets that seemed to hold more than was possible given the outside circumference; Xander had his arm shoved into his helmet up to his armpit.

Artemis turned and scowled at Xander while the other Amazons went to retrieve their arrows. "I don't see you up here, so why don't you let the experts work and just keep playing with your toys?" She snapped back at him.

"Psht, Today in the News" the sound of static was followed by a voice sounding strangely like Walter Cronkite and came from the speakers in the helmet. Xander bit his tongue and twisted his hand in the helmet, "Badee badee badee, that's all folks." The voice changed to that of Porky the Pig. Xander shook his head in frustration and gave it another twist and held his helmet back up to eye level before giving it a swift blow to the side of the helmet with his other hand and the red lights in the visual optics came to life. "Good after noon sir, did I miss anything important?" The polite British voice of Jarvis broadcast out of the helmet, and Xander smiled before replying, "Welcome back Jarvis, it's good to have you back in business. Run your diagnostic and repair subroutines and then go into standby mode please."

"Very good Sir. If that is all I'll take my leave." Jarvis responded before going quiet, and the red lights in the helmet's eyes turned off again.

Xander turned to look back at Artemis and smiled as he responded, "I'm sorry, did you say something? I was a little busy." He watched with a smile as the tall strawberry blonde with the long hair and the skimpy hot weather armor planted her hands on her hips and huffed with annoyance; Xander mentally noted that it did amazing things to her chest.

"I said that you should keep your advice quiet in the face of your betters. I don't see you up here practicing." Artemis stated in challenge with a bit of a glare on her face.

"Reeeaaallly." Xander drew out the word as his smile grew across his face as he got up from his chair, his black t-shirt and jeans seemed to bubble and flow over his body until he was in his fully black nano-clank armored form. "I accept your challenge… how does the song go, oh yeah, now I remember, "Anything you can do I can do better, I can do everything better than you!"" Xander finished in a sing song voice with a large smirk hidden behind his black helmet as he walked up to the line of archers and snagged a bow that was just sitting on one of the spare hay bales that was behind the line of archers.

Snagging a bundle of twenty arrows, Xander walked up to the line of one hundred front targets and one hundred rear and cocked his head to the side while laying his twenty arrows down and waiting for the original one hundred archers to remove their arrows from the target. On the screen in Xander's helmet the wind speeds, gravitational powers of the hell dimension, even the barometric pressure and air currents overlaid themselves across his sight. Xander turned his black faceless helmeted face to look at Artemis and said, "This is how an expert does it."

Calling up not only the systems that made up his body, but also the skills purloined from Cassandra Cain, Xander's hands became a blur. "Thunk thunk thunk thunk thunk thunk thunk thunk thunk thunk" Ten arrows blurred to nock, draw and fire faster than the Amazons could follow, and the thunk of the first ten arrows hitting the bullseyes of ten different targets seemed to come as almost one long repeated sound as they all hit at almost the same time. Before the Amazons could even blink, the second set of ten arrows was flying down range to repeat the process of coring the targets on the rear most range, neatly hitting the bullseyes, one arrow per target, ten targets once again one right after the other.

The archers around Xander were stunned speechless, and Xander just smirked and turned to look at Artemis with his black featureless face turning to look at her expectantly.

"You didn't… but how? Nobody could… GRAAAAHH!" Artemis stuttered at first but then wheeled on Xander and pointed at him in fury, "You Cheated! There is no way you could have done that without your armor and your fancy toys!" She yelled at him, heaving breaths in and out as she panted in anger.

'_Will you take a long at that chest. God, I'd say she was trying to smuggle watermelons if I couldn't see the upper slopes of her chest. For all that is sacred, think of the harem man, think of the harem!'_ The voice of Xander's libido cried out at the visage of the panting Amazon, but Xander just smirked more and then deactivated his armor.

"Cheated did I? There's nothing to it really." Xander said as his armor seemed to roll down his face and body until he was bare from the waste up, his chest and arms fully exposed for all the Amazons to see that his armor was no longer engaged at all and it looked as if he was just in skin tight pants of some sort.

Xander's smirk seemed to only rile up Artemis more, but Xander had to admit to himself that she was damn sexy when she was angry.

"So you think it was my armor do you?" Xander asked as he turned his back to Artemis while he reached for a bundle of ten arrows with his left hand.

"Absolutely, there's no way you could repeat that without…" Artemis started, but her statement was cut off as Xander spun around and flicked his hand.

The arrow that he had passed to his right hand shot out of it like a dart, arrow head pointed first to disappear at speeds only possible due to Xander's ability to tap into the same powers that Superman had.

"Kaboom!" The arrow broke the sound barrier to impact a target at the sixty yard range, causing the hay bale to explode in a puff of scattered hay, right before the next nine targets in a line with it also exploded as nine other sonic booms rocked the Amazon archers onto their heels as Xander palmed and threw the other arrows at different targets.

"Look Ma, no bow!" Artemis barely heard Xander's statement over the ringing in her ears, but there was no mistaking the smirk he turned towards her. Amazons from all over the city left what they were doing to charge towards the archery range to figure out what the tremendously loud sounds were.

Artemis looked at Xander, then at the targets as hay fluttered down out of the air to settle down around where the targets had once been, and then back at Xander.

"Why you, you, you…" Artemis stuttered in anger and exasperation.

"Yessssss?" Xander prompted, crossing his arms across her face with a smug smile that absolutely irritated and got under Artemis's skin in a heartbeat.

"You MAN!" She yelled in utter fury and stomped her foot, making Xander internally laugh as her petulant show of fury just amused him more.

"Why yes I am a man, thanks for noticing." Xander added with a chuckle and a slight wave of his hand that just infuriated Artemis more but also made a bit of blush came to her face as he noted her check out his 'lower reaches' as the black nano-clothing hugged his hips like a second skin and didn't leave much to imagination.

Artemis stared at Xander huffing for a moment, and then let out another scream of rage and marched up to him before pointing at him and pushing her finger into his absolutely unmoving hard muscles, "Graaah! That's it. You and me, right here right now."

Xander's eyebrow crooked upwards and his smirk turned lopsided, "Oook, and what are you wanting to do with me right here right now? I'm likely to accept if the offer is right." He finished with an exaggerated wiggling of his eyebrows and a shrug of his shoulders as he put his arms behind his back in a pseudo innocent pose. Xander hadn't had this much fun since some of the times he had sent Cordelia packing in rage after some of their quip battles.

Artemis's eyes grew suddenly wide as she realized the double entendre in their conversation, her mouth dropped open, only to snap shut and she punched him in the bare chest with all her might.

Xander saw the fist coming towards his chest and flexed his pectoral muscles with a smirk.

"Smack!" The blow sounded off his chest, only it was Artemis who pulled back and started shaking her fist in pain before turning hot angry eyes at him and responding. "You wish. I demand that you fight me, right here right now. You choose your weapon and I will choose mine."

"Why would I do that? I mean come on, what's in it for me? I didn't come all the way to hell to beat up on Amazons, and I wasn't planning on starting now." Xander responded honestly, crossing his arms again and waiting for a reply.

"You want to make a wager, fine, it will only make your humiliation more complete when you have to kiss my feet and declare that women make the better warriors." Artemis said haughtily as she turned and picked up a sword and a dagger that she had set aside while she managed the archery range.

Xander's eyebrows shot up into his hairline as he thought over her comments, then with a shrug he figured he would accept as it would be another chance to knock the Amazon tribes' pride down a notch when he bested the Bana-Mighdall champion. However, mere armed combat seemed to boring to Xander, he was a Spark after all.

Xander's smile grew across his face again and he remained shirtless and caused his armor to turn into just a pair of shorts. The Amazons were known for wearing skimpy armor that hugged their curves so as to distract their male opponents, but two could play that game. Walking past Artemis with a smug lopsided grin on his face Xander moved towards his work bench.

Out of the corner of his eye Xander noticed that Amazons seemed to be pouring into the area to see what was going on, so he figured he might as well give them a show. Xander's smile grew larger, he loved having an audience.

"I accept, and when I win you will have to admit that there is at least one man who is a better warrior than you Amazons, and I'll demand a kiss on my lips rather than my feet." Xander declared, reaching his work table and snatching up his weapons of choice.

With that said, Xander turned to face Artemis… with a screw driver in one hand, and a roll of duct tape in the other.

'_Bwa ha ha ha! Fear the duct tape!' _Xander's inner voice of insanity cackled before being distracted by an imaginary butterfly that constantly changed colors.

To Artemis it looked like Xander wasn't taking her seriously based on the weapons he had chosen, but the maniacal smile on his face and the gleam in his eye said otherwise.

"Rawr!" Artemis yelled in rage, charging Xander and swinging with an upward slice that could have spilled his guts had he not bent backwards at the waist as if he was doing the limbo, the crazy smile still pasted on his face.

Artemis growled and furiously weaved her sword back down to cut into his legs, only to be surprised with a kick to the face as both of Xander's legs shot off the ground so that Xander was hovering horizontally with the ground.

Xander's feet knocked Artemis stumbling backwards as her blow not only failed to make contact with Xander's bare legs, but she also was hit with the force of a donkey strike to the forehead which caused her vision to shutter and blur for a second.

Artemis regained her balance just in time to see Alexander pivot in the air at the waist, just like it was a fulcrum or axel of some wheel, only to see Xander lightly touch down on the ground and smirk at her.

"I said no cheating!" Artemis raged as she reentered a fighting stance and started to edge back towards the nearly naked Grey Knight.

"Hey babe, that was all me. I don't need to be wearing armor to kick your butt, or your face for that matter." Xander finished with a wink and an innocent looking shrug; only the smirk on his face and the wink were anything but innocent.

"Grrrrr," Artemis growled and lunged forward, sword tip stabbing forward followed by dagger thrusts, only each attack was blocked with the screwdriver easily wielded in one of his hands.

"Ting Ting Ting Ting Ting!" the blows rained down from Artemis, Xander not really bothering to do anything but deflect the blows such that each time Artemis attacked she met the immovable screwdriver blade, or her attacks were pushed back through the use of one of Xander's superior strength; even if he was only using one hand.

Artemis attempted a swipe to take off Xander's head, only for him to disappear in a duck under the swing and then follow it up by pushing the blade from behind with his screwdriver "Swipe twing Thwap!"

Xander smirked as he pushed the Shim-Tar's blow off balance and then followed it up by tearing off a piece of duct tape with his teeth and then thwapping it onto the middle of Artemis's forehead as his hand blurred forward to plant the tape right between her eyes and captured a lock of her bangs in the sticky tape.

Artemis stumbled back, stunned and wide eyed as she hadn't even seen The Grey Knight's hand move before something was stuck to her forehead. Taking a few defensive steps back, the Shim-Tar cleared enough room from Xander to where she felt safe to pull off whatever he had stuck to her face.

"Ahhh!" Artemis cried in sudden pain as she made the mistake of yanking hard on the duct tape, taking the lock of blondish red hair off at the root and leaving a red mark on her forehead where she ripped the tape off.

"Yeah, probably should have warned you about that. Best to take it off slowly and carefully or it takes the hair with it." Xander added helpfully with an innocent shrug. Several Amazons in the crowd couldn't help but laugh at the interaction between the Shim Tar and the Grey Knight, they had to admit that it was funny.

"DIE!" Artemis dropped the dagger and charged Xander with a two hand hold on her sword, the spar forgotten and the urge to kill rising.

Xander turned to the side and used the hand holding the screwdriver to block the flurry of blows while not really watching, ducked under one blow, then jumped over another all while dodging any blows that Artemis attempted to connect with using her feet, knees or elbows. To Xander, Artemis was still moving in slow motion so she really wasn't that much of a challenge no matter how skilled she was. Ultimately Artemis was still restricted by the limitations of a hyper athletic human body and couldn't match the speed of Xander's science improved figure. The combination of super speed, which he was using liberally, super strength, which enabled him to block Artemis's now two handed sword blows with only one hand, and the fighting skills gained from his sister Cassandra made it so the Amazon warrior really didn't stand a chance.

While Artemis tried unsuccessfully to slice and dice her blasé dueling partner into bite sized pieces, Xander bit the loose bit of duct tape and jerked his head back while pulling the duct tape roll away from himself; slowly but surely peeling off a long piece of the duct tape but keeping it connected to the roll.

Finally Xander had unrolled enough of the duct tape to do what he wanted with it.

To the watching Amazons, several hundred who had been attracted by the sonic booms caused by Xander throwing the arrows, it appeared that the tide of the battle changed in the blink of an eye. One second Xander was standing still blocking the darting and swiping Sword while dodging Artemis's flailing limbs, the next instant Xander was on the attack and Artemis didn't know what was happening.

Xander dropped the screwdriver and palm slapped the sword out of Artemis's hands so hard that several spectators had to literally dive out of the way of being skewered by the flying cutlery.

Artemis looked down at her empty hands stunned, then back up at Xander, just in time for her to numbly accept the loose end of duct tape that he handed her without really thinking about it.

"Here, hold this." Xander said with a smile, handing her the still attached but long strip of duct tape that he had loosened with his teeth. Then Xander disappeared, leaving an after image of a blur that seemed to circle Artemis so fast that it created its own little dust devil only to stop as abruptly as he started.

"Ta-Da!" Xander came to a screeching stop standing next to Artemis and threw his arms in the air.

Where a prideful Amazon champion had once stood, now was a mummy made out of duct tape, wrapped from foot to mouth with the silvery grey sticky tape.

Xander smirked and turned in a circle to repeatedly bow to different portions of the ring of several hundred Amazons who had gathered to watch what had turned out to be an embarrassment to their warrior pride. They were stunned and silent as Xander continued to smile and bow to the four compass directions.

"Thank you, Thank you! I appreciate the applause." Xander stated with a smirk on his face to the totally quiet and stunned Amazons.

"Mrrffph! Mrrrrrrrhhhh!" The muffled female voice came from Artemis who was standing behind Xander, who turned to see the Shim-Tar refusing to give up, even though her arms had been taped securely to her side, her mouth was covered with duct tape, and her two legs stuck tightly together.

What Xander saw pulled a startled laugh from him, as the beautiful warrior looked like some sort of demented grey sock puppet that was intent on head butting him. Artemis hopped and wobbled towards Xander who could only laugh as the Shim-Tar made muffled cursing sounds and took three hops towards Xander before toppling over face first when she lunged at Xander but missed as he simply side stepped her.

"Toro!" Xander said with an exaggerated step to the side as if he was dodging a bull. This pulled a laugh from several of the watching Amazons as nobody could deny how silly the situation was.

Xander laughed louder as she plummeted past him, but made sure to catch Artemis and flip her so she landed on her back with him straddling her and holding her to the ground.

Artemis looked up at The Grey Knight with angry eyes, defiant to the end, but all he did was smile down at her as she ineffectively tried to squirm loose.

Finally after several seconds of Xander straddling her hips and holding her down by one hand gently but securely on her collarbone he asked, "Are you done yet?"

Artemis looked up at Xander and then exhaled through her nose and looked down with a sigh.

"Murph Murph, Murphle Muff Mudder Murror," She slowly mumbled out from behind her impromptu duct tape gag, refusing to meet his eyes.

Xander continued to smile, but his smile lost that taunting edge and became sincere. His nano-clank clothing rippled and traveled up his body until he was again wearing pants and a long sleeved black t-shirt, only the sleeve continued to make a glove over his right hand.

Laying his gloved hand over her mouth, Artemis's eyes looked up deep into his and she realized that she felt a tickling sensation on her lips for a second, and then the duct tape that was covering her mouth was dissolved.

Xander removed his hand and sat back so he could look down at the still tightly bound but now un-gagged Shim-Tar.

Taking a deep breath she looked up at The Grey Knight and said, "You win, you're the better warrior, now take your kiss and be done with it." She finished by closing her eyes, waiting for the final humiliation as he stole his kiss that he won.

Only the kiss never hit her lips, instead she felt a kiss on her forehead and the bonds of duct tape covering her dissolved around her.

Artemis opened her eyes and saw a silvery liquid metal like tendril just returning to the Grey Knight's clothing. She was startled as The Grey Knight stood up and smiled down at her.

"I've never forced a woman to kiss me or do anything else to me that she didn't want to do, and I really didn't want to fight you in the first place." Xander said kindly to her as he stood up, his nano-clank clothing making sure that he continued to stay dust free.

Artemis pushed herself up onto one elbow and looked up at Alexander as he continued to speak, his voice quiet enough that you could hear the caring in his voice but it was still loud enough that it carried to the Amazons who had witnessed the one sided battle.

"I'll leave the time of your kiss up to Artemis, but I'd rather you see me as a friend and ally then continued antagonist. We have more than enough beings trying to kill us outside those walls, and we don't need to be fighting inside them. Perhaps in time you will realize that I am not a man that you should fear or hate, but a warrior who has honor like you and your sisters, a warrior who just wants to be your friend and help you out." Xander stated seriously, ending his statement by looking up above Artemis's head and catching the eye of Queen Hippolyta who was standing in the crowd.

Xander stared into the Queens eyes, and she stared back. Finally the Queen of the Amazons nodded to Xander in silent agreement with his statement, even though it was addressed to Artemis.

Xander looked down silently and held his hand down to Artemis to help her off the ground.

Artemis looked up at Xander, and made a decision.

She smiled and took his hand; The Grey Knight pulled her to her feet… just as the alarm bell above the front gate started clanging furiously.

* * *

The Amazons scattered, running for the walls with Artemis and Queen Hippolyta leading the charge towards the wall above the gate.

Xander on the other hand darted towards his work bench where his helmet lay.

"Jarvis, activate drone module one. Rise above the city but stay below the cloud cover, I don't want you getting eaten by anything that hides in those clouds." Xander addressed his silently sitting helmet before turning and jogging quickly towards the main gates without watching to see if his AI followed his orders.

Behind Xander, the lights on the Grey Knight helmet came alive, a bright crimson light shining from them as small mechanical legs with blade like tips exited the opening and the helmet stood up from the work bench and scurried off the table and scuttled across the ground until it was in an open area. The helmet swiveled to the left and to the right before looking up to make sure that its assent wouldn't be unobstructed. It's little metal insect like legs flexed down before exploding upwards, launching the helmet off the ground where the Nth metal flight control systems in the helmet took control and quickly shot the helmet into the air to the designated elevation. At this point, the helmet began to spin, taking in a complete 360 degree image and sensor read of the area surrounding the city, and it didn't look good.

Xander reached the walls just as Queen Hippolyta was yelling for extra spears and arrows to be distributed around the walls, however it was outside the walls that grabbed Xander's attention.

The hordes of hell had decided to attack Themyscira, and they had come in force.

Tens of thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands of the hulking grey skinned demons poured out of holes and newly created tunnels in the rocky bluffs that encircled and faced the city. Everywhere Xander and the Amazon's looked, the rocky cliff seemed to have portions of it crumble away before grey clawed hands pulled and tall demons slunk out of the holes in the ground.

"Hmm, well at least they appear to just be a disorganized mob." Xander said the first thing that came to mind upon seeing the army surrounding the city.

As if Murphy and Lady Luck had heard Xander's statement, thirteen grayish red tinged demons, looking like the other grey demons but each towering in at twenty feet tall moved into sight at the top of the bluff that faced the city gates. Their horns were a good five feet long and curled upwards into ridged spikes, and their bodies seemed to be carved with red glowing runes in some demonic tongue. With Xander's improved vision, he was able to see what appeared to be red veiny growths that pulsed from each rune, coloring the taller demon's grey hide so that it had a red tinge to it when viewed from a distance. Each of the thirteen twenty foot tall demons leapt off of the tall cliff to land among the mob of lesser demons, not caring that they crushed several of the grey monstrosities when they landed on the valley surface below. Soon Xander and the Amazons could see the thirteen larger demons thrash about in the disorganized throngs and started to set out some sort of command structure; namely kicking or beating down the grey demons till they did what the larger demons told them to.

Queen Hippolyta paused in her actions to turn and look at Xander like he was to blame by the sudden change in activity.

"Heh, don't blame me." Xander finished a bit chagrined and shrugged his shoulders with an apologetic grimace on his face before concentrating again on the tides of demons that were spilling from the rocks on the far side of the valley.

Hippolyta just shook her head and went back to ordering her warriors to their places on the walls.

Xander heard her ordering the archers on the walls to be prepared to fire when the demons reached range, but Xander interrupted her.

"Don't worry about this first attack." Alexander interrupted Hippolyta as she was relaying orders to her lieutenants. Hippolyta and the three lieutenants that were there turned to look at Xander right as Artemis was coming up the stairs from the courtyard below.

"And why not Grey Knight? There are thousands upon thousands of them, it makes the best tactical sense to kill them as far away from the wall as possible." Hippolyta questioned.

"Jarvis, transmit numbers and positions data sit rep," Xander commanded as he turned and walked over to her. Holding up his wrist, a three dimensional image miniaturized scale model of the city and the valley around it was holographically projected from the nano-clanks of his armor/clothing so that he could show Hippolyta what he was talking about. In Xander's mind, every memory of fighting the darkness and the demons in Sunnydale was coupled and compared to the strategies of war that had been literally encoded into the DNA of a once young Xander Heterodyne from another universe. It was one thing to gain knowledge and experience from past commanders and to be taught strategy from a teacher, but it was an entirely different thing to have inherited the knowledge of an ancestor that was literally a castle that had fought off countless sieges. In short, thanks to Halloween and the persona of Xander 's inherited experiences and memories from the Girl Genius universe, he had a unique perspective on the siege that was just beginning.

"See here," Xander stated, pointing to the holographic representation of what the real time situation was as it was relayed from Jarvis via the helmet floating above the city. "These are the same type of demon that ambushed you all in the canyon a week and a half ago. Remember back to actual fight, did the demons fight with any sort of teamwork, or did they fight as a bunch of individuals?" Xander asked, knowing the answer but wanting to get his point across.

Hippolyta looked to her lieutenants before turning and answering The Grey Knight, "They fought as individuals, but I don't understand what this has to do with them attacking us in mass. They still threaten to overwhelm us with sheer numbers." She replied, just as her shield barer and two other servants joined them on the wall and started helping affix Hippolyta's golden armor that had been blessed by the Greek Gods, including the belt of strength.

"I'm getting to that." Xander stated as he mentally sent a command to the holographic projectors, and high up in the air the remote controlled helmet zoomed in to focus on one of the random grey skinned demons that was mingling with the rest of the horde that had yet to attack. The image pulled in and focused on the being, pulling in the details of the demon such as its fangs, enlarged canines and a mouth full of sharp teeth, long claw tipped fingers and two foot long horns that made the demon top out at twelve feet if the figures that the scale model was pointing out was anything go to by.

"Look here. This is a demon, and just like the rest of the demons that are down there they care first and foremost about themselves and what they can do to survive and grow stronger. Sure they may work as a group, but like every demon I've ever seen, whether it be a vampire or some other type of demon, the only reason that they are working together now is because they think we are easy pickings." Xander explained, and then the image changed to focus in on one of the larger red tinged demons. The new image showed the twenty foot tall beasts, also walking on two feet with two arms, but whereas the other demons were totally grey, these ones had runes carved into their bodies and impregnated with some substance that made them glow red. "This is why the grey ones are working together, because the red ones are making them. With every type of demon you have the alphas and the beta's, the fledglings and the masters, the full bloods and the half bloods, and they have one thing in common no matter the relationship… They rule by fear." Xander finished.

Just as Xander finished his statement, a roar sounded from the horde of demons, and the thousands upon thousands of demons that surrounded the city turned and sprinted across the valley towards it with a bestial war cry on their demonic tongues.

The sound of the guttural roar caused the hair on the back of Xander's neck to stand on edge, and he hoped the knowledge that his inner voices were feeding him was correct.

Along the walls the Amazons paled but were grim faced, faced with a fight to the death they made sure their bows were properly strung and hefted spears and javelins which they could throw.

"Don't Worry, but still stay on guard." Xander yelled over the sound of the charging demons, the thousands of feet pounding on the earth and kicking up red dust shook the ground and made a constant thudding sound as the demons ran towards the city and their unknowing demise.

"As soon as they hit the devil's garden, the mines will give them something to fear more than their leaders. They may not be the sharpest arrows in the quiver, but their mentality won't let them sacrifice themselves without any personal gain." Xander yelled as he grimly turned to watch the action, the holographic emitter on his wrist zoomed out to show that the tide of demons was pouring forward in a concentric circle in an attempt to hit the city from all sides at the exact same time.

Like waves crashing upon the rocks, the demons hit the mine field, and stopped as the legions of hell were introduced to modern warfare 101, specifically, the problem with the easy way is that it's already been mined.

"KAAABOOOM!" The sound of thousands of anti tank, anti personal, trip mines, pressure mines, bouncing betties and every other assortment of land mine that Xander had planted went off in a torrential explosion of fire and shrapnel that caused the combined forces of Amazons on the walls to flinch and subconsciously duck behind the protective lip of the wall as the first ranks of the charging demons disintegrated.

The charge broke, but did not halt as the second ranks of demons saw their brethren disappear in gouts of fire, blood and body parts but couldn't stop in time before they were pushed from behind as the rear ranks pressured them into the next line of landmines.

It sounded like a torrential downpour of rain on a tin roof, or a thousand gun salute as the middle ranks of demons were pushed onto the landmines and also disappeared as they were torn apart by landmines manufactured from multiple world powers.

By this point, Xander was smiling a blood thirsty smile as he had just wiped out tens of thousands demons in an instant. "God I love the easy way." Xander exclaimed to the wide eyed Amazons.

Hippolyta only nodded in silent agreement, stunned at the destruction she was witness to as the Amazons watched the surviving ranks of the grey demons turn and start fighting those behind them, trying to flee from being pushed into the remains of the landmines.

On the walls behind the demons, the Amazons saw the enemy routed without a single Amazon casualty or without firing a shot, and they cheered.

"Hurray! Huzza! Gods be blessed! Holy Hera Thank You! Praise be to the Grey Knight" The Amazons cried in joy and hugged their sisters momentarily before turning back and smiling as the demon army devolved into a roiling mass of seething contention, demon fighting demon to get away from this unknown attacker. They didn't really understand what had happened, but they understood that any demon that moved towards the wall was doomed.

Demons started retreating, running back towards the rocky crevasses that they had come from, streaming back away from the city while the taller red tinged demons lashed out at their lesser brethren that were retreating against the commands of their elders.

The Amazons cheered and smiled, but while they did so Xander's smile slowly slid off his face and he turned to leave the wall. Before he did though, he turned and looked at Hippolyta and Artemis who was now standing by the Queen's side, both fully armed and armored now in their golden armor.

"This is just the beginning you know. The demons may be ignorant and selfish, but they aren't dumb." Xander warned them seriously, walking up and looking down on the shorter queen and other Amazons that stood still staring out at the retreating demons who even now were disappearing into the caves from which they had arrived.

"Sooner or later they will figure out a way to attack us again, and they will figure out a way around the minefield. You'll want to double the guard both day and night because demons can see in the dark just as easily as during the day. Mark my words, this is just the beginning of the siege." Xander finished ominously as he left to go get his Dreadknight system and Grey Knight armor fully back in order now that Jarvis was back.

On the walls, the Amazons continued to cheer and yell insults at the fleeing demons, but not a one of them truly believed that this siege was anything other than just begun.

* * *

Another week passed, and the beating of the drums had returned even though there was no visible signs of the attacking demon army other than the remaining holes in the cliff faces that could be seen from the walls of Themyscira.

The first true warning that the demons were back wasn't the guards on the wall seeing anything moving in the tunnels opening out of the bluffs. No, the first warning wasn't really a warning so much as a direct and unexpected attack, and it came in the middle of the night.

"BZZZZZZ Thuwp!" It sounded like a giant bee or like a swarm of mad hornets as something shot through the darkness only to blast one of the Amazon warriors right off the top of the wall when it impacted. By the time that the Amazon hit the hard ground in the courtyard across from Xander, she was already dead; not surprising really considering the four foot long by one inch wide spiraled spear that was stuck through her chest. Then, before the warning could go out, a flurry of spinning projectiles were raining down on the walls knocking down or outright killing the guards on duty as Amazons screamed in pain and those initial moments of panic settled in as the Amazons were attacked by invaders which they could not see.

Xander woke in a start and jumped to his feet from the sleeping pallet that he had been resting on in his corner of the courtyard. His instincts told him they were under attack, and the self defense measures installed in his nano-clank clothing covered him in his matte black armor in an instant. Xander looked up and saw torches come alight as guards hurried to the wall, only for one of the torch bearers to catch a spear in the shoulder and spun her around, dropping the torch off the wall and onto a pile of threshed wheat that started to burn.

Amazons rushed to put out the fire, but Xander was concentrating on the attack.

"Jarvis, get aloft now!" Xander ordered as he disappeared from the ground to get to the top of the wall. Behind him the helmet shot up into the air where its sensors could read what was going on.

Xander reached the top of the wall just in time to intercept a madly buzzing projectile that was meant for one of the Amazon's holding a torch next to him.

"Get the fuck down!" Xander bellowed, his speakers broadcasting the alert in Ancient Greek loud enough for every Amazon in the city to hear it and immediately obey the vocal Spark power laden command.

"BUUUZZZZZZZ TWANG!" Another projectile shot through the night and impacted off the side of his helmet, causing Xander's head to twitch only slightly due to the strength of the impact, meaning that there had been a great deal of inhuman strength behind the projectile if it could even draw a reaction from him.

Xander swung his head to look out into the night, and his sensors easily picked up what was happening.

There in the darkness outside the minefield were packs of the grey skinned demons, and laying on the ground next to each group were bundles of the long twisted spears. One of the demons noticed the now sole figure standing above the lip of the wall and pointed him out, and Xander was able to pick out the details as several of the demons responded by loading the projectiles onto a long stick before using the long stick as a fulcrum to accelerate the spear towards the top of the wall; an attached string on the tip of the stick imparting the spin as it unwound from the projectile with the force of the throw.

'_Atlatl's sir if what we are seeing is correct._' Xander's inner voice of reason stated before going on to briefly and quickly explaining, _'The missile is set into a notch in the tip of the atlatl stick and then the thrower makes an over handed pitching throw which speeds the projectile on the way. If my calculations are correct, then the strength of those demons is allowing them to easily get the distance they need to accurately pick off anything standing on the wall.'_

"BZZZZZZZZZZ!" Several projectiles flew right at Xander and he didn't bother to step out of the way, though he did pluck one out of the air before it could hit him in the face. "Tink Tink Tink Tink." The other projectiles bounced off Xander's black armored chest and shoulders harmlessly but with enough force to make him take a single step back while he examined the one he had caught.

Spinning it in his hand he saw that the twisting grooves went the entire length of the projectile, making it look like a drill bit while the sensors on the armor that covered his hands told him that the long thick dart was made out of a solid piece of bone. Based off of the demons that Xander had seen so far on this hell dimension, he guessed that it was likely the thrusting spine from one of the manta ray like flying demons, or perhaps some spiny beast that he had yet to witness. However contemplation was left for another time as his thoughts were interrupted by a report by Jarvis's voice sounding in his helmet.

"Sir, my sensors from the helmet floating above have sighted twenty similar packs of the atlatl bearing demons circling the outskirts of the minefield, while it appears that a party of approximately one hundred demons is attempting to silently traverse the marked safe path towards the front gate." Jarvis reported.

Behind his mask, a gleam came to Xander's eyes, and he growled, his lip curling as if he was bearing his teeth like a predator.

'_Hey Primal, how would you like to come out and play for a little bit.'_ Xander mentally offered with a bloodthirsty look in his eye and a bit of a glow starting to shine through.

'_It's about time.'_ The Primal spirit housed in Xander's mind growled in reply.

"Good, it's time to go hunting." Xander replied aloud, turning to look at the courtyard and raising his hand towards where his gear was stowed.

Across the courtyard Xander noted a group of Amazons crouched over the still living but injured Amazons that had been guarding the walls, a row of clothe-covered dead lined up near the gate while the fire was being extinguished. Xander subconsciously noted that the women hovering over the injured were using some sort of purple ray device on the injured, but his main focus was on the silver metal cylinder that flew through the air and slapped into the palm of his outreached hand.

Xander looked down at the haft of his lightsaber that was now in his hand, smiled, and then his armor seemed to ripple as he disappeared into thin air.

* * *

Grishonak towered over the rest of his war band by at least twice their height. He was the Grog-nag, or leader or roughly translated most feared, for this grouping and he looked back over his minions as they silently crept through the nicely marked path through the death field that had destroyed so many of his other minions. It had taken Grishonak and his other elders time to beat the lesser beasts into line, but now they were proceeding once again, and he could smell the succulent flesh of the soft pink creatures up ahead. Grishonak could feel the tasty souls that he could devour, and see the blood beating in the veins that traced under the whitish flesh of the creatures that stood upon the walls above.

A snarl from behind him threatened to give them away. Grishonak wheeled in a blur and silenced the grayling with a rake of his claws across the lesser demon's chest. Grishonak ruled by fear, Grishonak had been christened by their Hell God to lead the devouring of the weak pink creatures who had dared to invade their territory. He would make the pink ones suffer as he ate their liver and dined on their still beating hearts. Drool gathered and dripped from Grishonak's fangs as he slowly and carefully led his minions through the red lined path, discerning that to go outside the lines would mean his death and the end of this sneak attack.

Grishonak had earned the honor of being the First Elder to lead the charge by besting and eating the heart of Hakor, the former war leader who had planned the first attack on the pink ones. Grishonak had made elder by not only killing off all one hundred of his bond greylings from his younger nestling stage, but also eating the brains of his brood sow bearer who had planted the eggs from which he and his other greylings had issued from. Thus he had grown powerful, thus he had grown to lead, thus he sought to devour more in the pursuit of power.

"Grugg nok slith tar." Grishonak growled quietly, telling his minions to wait until the guards on the walls were distracted by the projectile throwers before they would attack the gate and slaughter the guards so that the other demons could emerge from the rocks and dine on the pink flesh of the inhabitants; apparently it was a compact and complicated language that enabled a few words to pass on a lot of meaning. Either that or it was a simple language spoken by overconfident demons who thought they were very sneaky.

The first buzzing sound passed overhead, quickly followed by several others from other directions, and Grishonak opened his fang filled mouth as he began to pant for the flesh that he would feast on that night.

Waving forward Grishonak slowly moved to continue down the path, mentally mocking the weak pink skinned creatures that had so nicely provided a path for him to traverse the field of death.

The gates of the city grew closer, and Grishonak knew that the blessing of his god had given him the strength to bash through any flimsy material such as what they looked to be made out of, and if that failed he could always climb his way to the top and open the doors from the other side once he slaughtered those in his way.

Only it was not to be, as Grishonak's thoughts were interrupted by a sudden "Snap Hiss" followed by a hum as a beam of bright crimson red light appeared to float in the air blocking the path forward.

Grishonak only had a moment to say, "Gruntag borganot," which roughly translates to "What the hell is that," right before he was answered with an up close and personal introduction to the hovering red light.

* * *

Xander ghosted across the top of the walls, padding silently in a fast run as he traversed the lip of the parapet before leaping off of the wall just before the gate and running towards the opening through the path.

'_Jarvis, activate Blades,'_ Xander mentally ordered his nano-clanks. The slight distortion of Xander's camouflage system fluttered but remained hidden in the darkness of the night as blades extended from the forearms of his armor while other sharp spikes and dagger like protrusions erupted from the body of his armor system.

Xander charged forward as he saw the demons were about to breach the safe path through the minefield, the towering lead demon was a good fifteen and a half feet taller than Xander and covered in the strange red glyphs that seemed to cause cracks of glowing energy to cover the demon's skin.

'_I Never fought a demon that big before.' _Xander thought as he ignited his lightsaber and leapt off the ground with his glowing blade seeming to float up into the air as his armor continued to camouflage the rest of Xander's body.

'_Oh well, when in doubt, Decapitate!' _Xander thought with a savage grin as he twisted in the air and slashed out with his crimson blade as he ducked into a flip-roll that would take him over the head and horns of the tall red tinged demon.

The sudden wide eyed look of surprise on the demon's face made Xander's smile grow larger and more feral; it reminded Xander of the last time he had seen Deadboy.

'_Happy thoughts!' _Xander thought with an evil grin as the world slowed down, and part of his mind remembered the look on the former master vampire Angel's face right before the Flaming Marshmallow of Doom had flambéed Deadboy into a nicely toasted pile of matter for the Summer's vacuum to clean up.

To the demons and any outside viewers, the crimson blade left a red after image as it shot forward in a blur and a sonic boom rocked the space around them as Xander attacked at super speed.

"HmmmmMMMMMmmm" The lightsaber's hum briefly increased in a sound that struggled to keep up with the speed of Xander's movement as he whipped his blade through the air and neatly severed the large demon's head from its shoulders.

'_Woot! More happy thoughts, BWA HA HA HA HA!' _Xander thought as he continued his flip and saw out of the corner of his eye the large demon toppling forward while the head flew off into the minefield where it lit off a mine in an explosion of fire and shrapnel.

The invisible Xander extended out of his tuck and roll and brought his lightsaber down in an overhead chop that neatly bisected the next grey demon into two cauterized halves that Xander charged through.

His next follow up attack however was anything but neat as the blades on his wrists, looking not unlike the blades that extended from the Marvel comic book character Wolverine's wrists, punched through the sternums and inner organs of the next two demons in line only for those blades to neatly core out a hole in their chests and send them twisting to fall in halves as Xander used his forward momentum to summersault and axe kick a third demon hard enough to take the demon's face off with the back of his armored feet.

The world slowed down until it seemed to Xander as if everything around him was barely moving. It was the type of super speed of body and mind that would have allowed Xander to take a nap between the individual flaps of a hummingbird's wings, or perhaps read War and Peace the annotated version before the timer went off on his five minute Ramen. To Xander's eyes he could see each piece of shrapnel as it lazily traced a scorching path through the air and shredded through several demons that were unfortunate enough to be standing close to the blast. Xander walked through the line of demons as if he was a lazy gardener moving through the yard while trimming the verge.

In slow motion, the occasional blast of light highlighted an invisible claw that was briefly covered in blood before the armor absorbed the foreign substance and broke it down into its base atoms. Blood absorbed, the claw or blade would disappear again and the only evidence that Xander was cutting through the hundred some demons was the constant sweeping afterimage of the lightsaber that made the hell dimension's night look like some kind of weird techno rave with meter long glow sticks.

It was a dichotomy of light and dark, flying blood and gore versus cauterized wounds as the neat slashes of the lightsaber traded places with an invisible fist or bladed arm or leg that disintegrated or disemboweled the demon right next to it. Like a strobe light at a dance club, the flashes of the mines exploding brought brief glimpses of the battle as here a severed demonic arm flew into the minefield, or there Xander shoulder checked a demon up into the air and out into the devil's garden. To Xander it was as if a greenish grey mist floated in the air as he walked through the seemingly barely moving demons and left nothing more than a floating rain of blood and liquefied tissues behind him. In tune with his super speed, in tune with the Primal spirit of nature, Xander coupled his and the Primal's hatred of demons and basically flipped the switch on his killing skills to "Puree."

Time returned to normal for Xander as a "Kaboom" sounded as the last of the hundred demons died and fell sidewise into the mine field and disappeared in an explosion as it touched off an Soviet era Russian anti-tank mine. Xander appeared again out of his blur at the opposite end of the safe path through the mine field, the demons between him and the gates raining down in bits and pieces behind him to cover the path. The blackish grey blood allowed his body to be seen for a moment before disappearing like puddles drying in the sun.

Camouflaged by his chameleon system and perfectly blending into the background except for his lightsaber, Xander slowly turned his neck to look behind him and smiled as his neck cracked as he gave it a fast twitch to the side. Smirking to a toothy smile to himself, Xander flicked his lightsaber to the right and down, shaking off the blood that had been dripping off the handle of his lightsaber due to Xander literally going through rather than around the bodies of several the now deceased ten foot tall grey demons. With a final crack of his neck to the other direction and a shiver of his shoulders, Xander tensed his muscles and then exploded into action again as he turned into a blur again; the red light of his crimson energy blade trailing a path behind him as he circled the city.

The atlatl wielding demons didn't know what hit them until the first pack of grey demons tipped sideways as their torso's were suddenly no longer attached to their waists. However before the first pack could die, Xander had already covered the distance to the second group and had sliced through them as well.

Through the night Xander ran around the outside of Themyscira and its protective minefield, using the powers of The Flash stolen by the Amazo-tech to cover the distance faster than the human, or in this case demon eye could follow.

The last attacking demon died to the crimson blade and Xander stopped at his original starting spot before the front gate of the city. Xander paused, and then took a deep breath and a slow exhale as his armor rippled and appeared visible again.

"Status report Jarvis." Xander commanded as he extinguished his blade and looked around, letting the sensors on his helmet see out into the pitch black night.

"Sir, all demons in the immediate area are showing a cooling of body temperature signifying death and blood loss concurrent with a 99.9 percent chance of immediate death… make that 100 percent sir." Jarvis reported based on what the drone helmet was reading of the surroundings.

"Excellent, are we done for tonight then?" Xander questioned as he looked over the scattered remains of the demons that lay covering the path from the city to the outside of the minefield. _'That will have to be cleaned up in the morning and the safe path erased and filled in.'_ Xander thought as he examined his handiwork with a content smile.

Jarvis responded, pulling Xander away from his thoughts about the cleanup effort, "Yes Sir, all demons are dead and accounted for, wait. Recalculating."

Xander paused, and then quickly panned his head back and forth to try and see what Jarvis was picking up.

"On the bluff sir, straight ahead." Jarvis detailed, and Xander focused in on a section of his visual monitor system that was suddenly highlighted and zoomed in on.

There on the cliffs were eleven of the twenty foot plus tall red tattooed elder demons, and they didn't seem to be happy.

That made Xander smile.

"Rawwrrrrr!" One of the demon elders bellowed and shook its fist angrily at the now visible Xander.

Like a predator accepting the challenge of another that strayed into its territory, Xander's eyes flashed and a grin came to his face. The Primal instincts were clamoring for Xander to issue a return challenging cry, so Xander did.

"Jarvis, maximum volume to speakers." Xander ordered as he was highlighted by the light shining down on the ground below the torch covered walls.

"OH YEAH? Your Momma so ugly even D'Hoffryn wouldn't grant her a wish!" Xander yelled back, broadcasting his challenge loud enough that it boomed across the valley. By the wide eyed, stunned and then furious look on the demon's face the elder demons apparently knew English and had an idea who D'Hoffryn was.

"ROAR!" The demon yelled back, and two of the other elder demons held back the demon that was so furious it appeared to be spitting.

Xander smirked and laughed evilly behind his helmet. _'Who knew reading through all of Giles books would be good fodder for demon insults? I love this eidetic memory sometimes!' _Xander thought before he turned around and bent over and patted his butt towards the demons.

Yelling back over his shoulder Xander continued to taunt, "I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a Boil Demon and your Father smelt like kittens!" Xander continued to shout.

Apparently this was the last straw for the enraged red elder demon on the cliff, for it shook off the two demons holding it back and then reached down for something that Xander couldn't see from his angle.

Before Xander knew what was happening, the tall red tattooed demon on the bluff's arm blurred, and Xander was knocked face first into the dirt as something blasted into him right in Xander's armored arse.

Xander tumbled forward and turned it into a roll that had him flip over once before hopping back to his feet and turning to face the now laughing and pointing elder demon that Xander had been taunting.

Xander growled and looked down, saw one of those long drill bit spears and picked it up from the ground. Unlike the other spears that the grey demons had been throwing, this one had the same matching red runes painted on it that matched the tattoos that seemed to cover the larger demons.

"Sir, I'm picking up emanations of magic from the spear and radiating out from those runes." Jarvis announced, but Xander ignored the commentary and instead focused on the laughing demon on the cliff.

"Oh yeah, laugh this up big guy." Xander growled, his eyes flashed, and his arm blurred.

The demon on the hill laughed twice, and then suddenly his head disappeared in a puff of bloody mist.

"Yeah, whose laughing now?" Xander yelled back at the demons as they stared at the body that dropped like a puppet with its strings cut.

The remaining red covered demons looked at each other, looked down at Xander, and then as one turned and ran away to where Xander couldn't see them anymore.

"And Stay out!" Xander yelled as he took a second to shake his fist at the retreating demons before dusting himself off; even though the armor had already automatically done so.

"They're gone sir." Jarvis announced.

"Very well Jarvis." Xander said, and then let out a sigh as the adrenaline rush of battle started to wear off and Xander realized how tired he was.

Rising slowly into the air and heading back towards the top of the wall Xander asked, "How are we on healing the wounded and what are the numbers of casualties?"

"Seventeen dead unfortunately, but all injured have been healed by what my databanks are calling the purple ray technology."Jarvis announced before continuing on as Xander reached the top of the wall and looked out over the court yard that now held seventeen white cloth shrouded forms lying side by side.

"You knew that you wouldn't be able to bring the Lazarus systems with you as the nano-clanks separated from you wouldn't have survived the trip." Jarvis continued, the AI's voice sounding sincere and a bit sorrowful.

Xander looked down at his feet and let out a sigh of disappointment, "I know Jarvis, and it would have been worse to have just used the Lazarus fluid only to have to deal with crazy undead Amazons. If you remember, I was the one who called that shot. It still doesn't make it any easier to see them die." Xander stated, looking up and then walking down the steps as several guards looked at The Grey Knight pass them by talking to himself.

Before he went down the stairs, Xander turned and addressed one of the guards, telling them that the battle was over and that it was safe to peak above the battlements again. He then slowly moved back to his pallet but didn't disengage his armor.

"I'm going back to sleep Jarvis." Xander said, taking another look at the bodies laid out in a row before lying down on his mat.

"Please don't blame yourself Sir. You can't save everybody. That's something that every hero in the DC universe has had to learn." The AI tried to comfort Xander, truly showing that the computer systems that Xander had created transcended the boundaries of artificial intelligence and had reached true sentience.

Xander was quiet as he laid down on the mat in his black armor and replied, "I'm not a hero Jarvis." Xander snapped a bit, but then quietly continued, "Thank you Jarvis, I understand what you are saying, but even though I won the battle I still can't help but feel it was a pyrrhic one." With that, Xander closed his eyes and forced himself to go to sleep.

* * *

The Amazons took a day to repair the damage caused by the fire and to prepare for the funerals, however the heat of the hell dimension made it so that the dead had to be buried relatively quickly. Xander didn't see Hippolyta or Artemis at all that next day, but Jarvis's sensors had tracked Hippolyta, Artemis, Princess Donna and Artemis's sister Dina as they exited the palace with the bodies of the dead Amazons. The leaders of the two tribes were heading towards a temple like building that had statuary depicting many of the gods.

While Xander ate his breakfast of fruit from his hydroponics garden along with some of the first batches of laboratory created meat that he had turned into bacon, he questioned Jarvis on what the Amazon leaders were doing. Jarvis had then informed Xander that the Amazon leaders they were bathing the dead and then anointing the bodies with oil.

'_It's the prothesis, the first step of the intricate burial practices of the Greeks.'_ Xander's inner Giles informed Xander while Xander continued to eat next to his cooking fire. Xander tried not to dwell on the deaths of the women the previous night, so instead concentrated on enjoying the meaty goodness that was bacon.

"Mmmm, Bacon." Xander said through a mouth full of said meaty breakfast perfection. In Xander's mind, bacon rated up there with Twinkies, not quiet close to being on the same level but he had to admit that as Chocolate was to women, bacon was to men.

"Good morn to you Grey Knight," Several Amazons greeted him or yelled out a hail as they passed by, and he waved back in greeting as he continued to eat, occasionally giving them a greeting in return around a mouth full of meat.

'_The next step will be the ekphora, the procession to the burial site which will take place in the middle of the night. The burial itself will take place right before dawn.'_ Xander's inner librarian of trivia and all things factual finished up while Xander finished eating his bacon and then broke out several Twinkies from his packs to finish off his breakfast.

A meal wasn't a meal until Xander had his Twinkies.

"What is that?" A voice from above Xander questioned.

Xander leaned back and looked up at the lip of the wall that was behind him. Two of the Amazon warriors on guard duty were looking down at him, one in her Bana-Mighdall brown disk covered armor, and the other in the solid gold breastplate of the Themyscirian Amazons.

Xander smiled at them, and show them the Twinkie which he pulled from the wrapper.

"What this?" Xander said, holding up the cream filled goodness of cakey delight before sniffing it and sighing before inserting the entire Twinkie and chewing it with a moan of delight.

Both Amazon guards turned and looked at each other questioningly before turning back to Xander who was chewing with a smile on his face and with his eyes closed in bliss.

"Yes, what is that which you are eating? From the way you are reacting, it seems to be as good as that chocolate that you carried with you." The first guard stated in English.

"Ah! As good as Chocolate!" Xander looked offended for a moment before wagging a finger at the female warrior in a mock scolding manner, "I'll have you know that not only is it better than chocolate," He took out another Twinkie package and unwrapped it like he was unveiling the crown jewels of England, "This here is a Twinkie. Man made ambrosia of the gods I say!" Xander's eyes took on a gleam as he began to pontificate on the pure excellence that was the holy Twinkie.

"Behold!" Xander shouted as he raised the Twinkie above his head and jumped to his feet. "I give unto you the Twinkie, and I saw that it was good." Xander yelled, holding the cake and cream filled confection above his head with both hands as if worshiping the junk food.

Xander stepped forward, and for some strange and unexplainable reason a soap box was there upon which he could step up so that he towered over the courtyard that was bustling with Amazons doing early morning chores. All around the courtyard the Amazons stopped what they were doing and drew closer to Xander, drew in by the power of his voice and the power that seemed to radiate from him as he started to speak.

"Four score and I don't know how long ago, my forefathers were tired of waiting for their cakes to cook, so brought forth the quick snack food." Xander announced, one hand waving in the air and the other holding the Twinkie high so that the gathering women could see it.

"And my forefathers did say, let us take unto ourselves a golden sponge cake, and fill it with a cream filling, and those who tried it doth said, mmm, that is AMAZING!" Xander shouted, preaching from his soap box about the benefits of the Hostess brand snack cake, his hands waving in the air and pointing to the sky, Twinkie wielded back and forth.

"ohhh, ahhhh." The crowd of Amazons were spell bound, carried away on Xander's words to such an extent that they felt that they could see the creation of the very first Twinkie.

Xander's eyes sparkled and his maniacal grin spread across his face. "Yes, I tell you, this here cake empowered me through many a day when I lived on the very mouth of hell. Yes, I survived living in the darkness and fighting evil, fueled day and night and for every meal on the power of this here cakey perfection." Xander shouted out so the whole crowd could hear him, the power of the Spark drilling his message home into the very souls of the Amazons who listened to him; and by this time the crowd had reached the size of several hundred female warriors.

"How do we get the Twinkie?" A voice yelled from the crowd.

"Yes, Share with us how we too can enjoy in the fullness of stomach of the Twinkie!" An enraptured Amazon shouted in encouragement as the rest of the crowd took up the call.

"Yeah! The Twinkies! Give us the Twinkies! The crowd of women began to chant and call out to Xander, hungering for that which Xander had told them about.

"You think you can handle the power of the Twinkie?" Xander shouted back, holding the Twinkie on high, the crazy gleam in his eye, the power and madness of the Spark truly taking over.

"Yes!" The crowd yelled back.

Xander turned around to the giant shipping crate of shrunken boxes of Twinkies, and then with a wave of his hand commanded the shrinking/enlarging technology held in the nano-clanks in his hand to enlarge multiple boxes of Twinkies.

"Then I shall give unto you the Twinkie!" Xander yelled as he turned to the crowd and threw the boxes out into the audience, much to the delight and shouts of joy of the Amazon warriors.

"Take unto you the communion of the Twinkie! Eat it and enjoy, for it shall make you hyper active with its pure sugar and unknown chemical makeup!" Xander raised his voice over the shouts of joy of the women as he shared his Twinkie supply.

"Praise the Gods for the Twinkie!" One voice yelled out of the crowd before it was changed slightly by another to "Praise be the Twinkie!"

"Now go. Share with your sisters that which I have told you and shared with you." Xander commanded, still caught up in the madness of the Spark, smile planted on his face and insanity shining in his eyes. "Go forth and share the light which shines off the wrapper of the golden snack food perfection, for all shall know that it is good!" He commanded.

And with a mighty cheer, the Amazons that had gathered to listen to Xander charged off throughout Themyscira to share the great news of the Twinkie, and all that was good about the snack food confection.

Xander finished waving his hands in the air, and shoved the second complete Twinkie into his mouth and then closed his eyes again with an audible "Mmmmmmm, That's so good." He moaned.

When Xander finally finished savoring the chewing of his snack cake, he opened his eyes and realized that he was standing on a soap box by himself in the middle of a large but thoroughly abandoned court yard.

Blinking, he looked around and realized what he had just been saying and that the crowd of Amazons had departed; several of them leaving whatever chore had originally been interrupted lying on the dirt or half finished wherever it was at the time he had started pontificating.

'_Hey guys, any chance that what I just did could come back to bite me in the rear?'_ Xander mentally asked the other voices in his head as he got down from his soap box. Xander looked at the soap box and questioned where it had come from, not remembering packing an old fashioned wooden soap box in his gear for the trip to hell. He shrugged and closed up the packing crate that held his remaining Twinkies.

'_Nah, what's the worst that could happen?'_ The other voices in his head answered.

* * *

The funeral that had happened three weeks ago had created goose-bumps on Xander's arms and made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end due to the haunting melodies that had been sung by the tribes of female warriors. Both the Bana-Mighdall and the Themyscirian tribes had a similar foundation in ancient Greece, but due to centuries separated they had slightly different songs and rituals of sending off the dead. Still the songs had stopped and the silent torch lit processional had brought the dead to their resting places in large mausoleums that were then sealed over.

Xander had played his own part in honoring the dead, for as the funerals ended the sounds of bagpipes echoed through the valley as Xander once again brought out his giant instrument and played haunting renditions of "The Last Post," "Sgt. Mackenzie" and finally "Amazing Grace" just as the suns began to rise on the plains of the hell dimension.

The feelings of mourning weren't allowed to last though, as the demons attempted another multi-wave invasion with a large group heading for where they thought the safe path through the minefield was.

The demons were gravely mistaken, as after Xander had laid down to rest for a few hours the night before, he had divested his armor of its nano-clank cloak. While Xander slept the little clanks enlarged themselves back to their normal size and then went and destroy any hint of a safe path through the minefield by shuffling around the mines, and in fact added over a thousand claymore mines on the outskirts of the mine field.

When the demons had come running out of their caves for their third try at taking the city, they had seen the little green things that stood in their path, and it wasn't until it was too late that they realized that maybe it wasn't the size that counted, but how you used it.

Such a simple device with such simple directions of "Front towards enemy," yet what the claymores lacked in size they made up for in ball bearings and explosive force.

The dawn raid by the demons had seemingly melted away with the rising of the sun, just as if they were a dank fog that was burned away by the heat of the sun's light, so did the demons get burned away by the hundreds of thousands of tiny ball bearings that obliterated their ranks.

That had been three weeks ago, and though the demons had been rebuffed they continued to try and probe the outskirts of the mine field looking for a safe path through based on the knowledge that it had existed at one time. The Amazons kept watch, and Xander had joined in sitting watch given that he had grown bored fiddling with his armor and due to the lack of things to invent with; given that he had to carry only necessities with him when he went to hell. Sure Xander had automated the weapons forges for the Amazons, creating trip hammers and pulley driven billows to automate sword, spear and arrow production, but Xander got tired of old fashioned technology very quickly. That's why he tried to befriend the Amazons over the last several weeks.

Queen Hippolyta remained very standoffish, and in following her mother's lead so did Princess Donna. The last time Xander had spoken with the Queen or the Princess was when they had given him a ornamental golden shield as a gift for his saving the Princess's life upon his first arrival. A shy look from Donna and a quick thank you and the girl and her mother were gone again. Xander's only other involvement with the royalty of the Themyscirian Amazons was when he discussed tactical defenses with the Queen's guards and Hippolyta listened in as she sat on her thrown. Though several of the non-royal Themyscirian Amazons had stopped by his camp site requesting more Twinkies, he didn't really have a lot of involvement with the island Amazons. It wasn't surprising that the women were stopping by asking for Twinkies, as Xander didn't know how the Amazons had lived without the snack cakes prior to him introducing them to the perfect food. However what was surprising was the fact that the women warriors were requesting less chocolate and more Twinkies, and that had him a bit worried that perhaps he would run out of that specific necessity of life before they were rescued from the hell dimension.

The Bana-Mighdall Amazons on the other hand were relating to Xander very differently than the Themyscirian warrior women. At the separation of the tribes, the Bana-Mighdall had decided to abandon the Greek Gods as they felt the Olympian deities had abandoned them, thus the desert tribe of Amazons had lost their immortal lives and had been restricted to living out the years of a normal human. This problem mandated that they breed with men in order to reproduce and keep up their numbers. The problem for Xander was that he was the only man to be found on the plains of hell.

Xander had become very deft at dodging pinches for his rear end, and he had to watch out when he joined any Bana-Mighdall for guard duty as the women often tried to tell him that it was a good way to fill the time on guard duty by having sex.

A spark without sex is usually a bad thing, but Xander was really really trying not to get distracted by the tribe of what amounted to super model level beautiful women asking him for no strings sex.

No don't get the wrong impression, the first time that it had been explained to Xander that the Bana-Mighdalls, almost every single one of them, wanted Xander to have sex with them and give them babies, well let's just say the little voice of Xander's libido had broken out the air horns and started bouncing off the mental walls in Xander's head yelling, _'HAREM! HAREM! HAAAAARRREEEEEMMM!'_

Frankly, the little voice was beginning to get a bit annoying to Xander and the other voices in his head, which may have been the deciding factor when the voice of insanity joined in voting on the side of rational thought in believing that making the Amazons pregnant while in hell would be a bad idea; the little voice of Xander's libido really shouldn't have forced the voice of insanity into joining in a conga line, insanity only did those things on the Ides of March or perhaps on the 12th of never in the month of what.

Thus Xander decided that he would either share in guard duty with the Themyscirian Amazons, who only wanted to talk with him about Twinkies for some strange reason, or with Artemis or her sister Dina who seemed less focused on anything to do with sex and more on just getting to know more about The Grey Knight. Dina spent the hours wanting to hear more stories from Xander, so he told her about his other life in Sunnyhell, spending countless hours where they both laughed about his ability to attract crazy demon women or some of the activities that the Scoobies got up to. Artemis on the other hand held deep conversations with Xander that ranged in topics from why men did certain things or thought certain ways, to why Alexander the Grey Knight did what he did.

Just the night before the demons had attempted to repeat the trick with the atlatl's and seeing how many guards they could kill. Unfortunately they had killed another ten guards and wounded thirty others in a large coordinated attack. The raid had continued until Xander had his Jarvis controlled helmet remain on constant watch while he went out to kill the skirmishers. Xander still kicked himself a bit for not thinking to have the helmet/drone remain on constant watch, but he knew that it was something he would learn from and tried not to feel too guilty about. Xander was tired after the long night of running outside the walls and killing demons, but he felt somewhat honor bound to do his part in continuing to stand watch; especially since he felt that he could have stopped the deaths from happening in the first place.

Xander watched from the walls as every now and then an enemy demon would test the boundaries of the mine field, and blow up. One more enemy down, but also one more mine gone that had been protecting them from the onslaught of the masses of hulking grey demons that seemed to infinitely spawn in this hell dimension.

'_God I hope they get Circe and get us out of here soon. I don't know how many more deaths or injuries the Amazons can take before we are down to only walking wounded.'_ Xander thought to himself, looking back behind the wall towards the hospital area where stretchers lined the ground with the most dreadfully wounded of the amazons still being treated via purple ray while the cloud of Xander's nano-clanks from his cloak also helped out trying to stave off death from the most severely wounded.

"So what kind of name is Xander?" Artemis asked after the silence had worn on for about fifteen minutes after the end of their last conversation. She continued to watch the horizon, her eyes constantly moving so that she could use the sensitivity of her peripheral vision to better pick up movement from any possible attacking demons.

"It's just a shortening of Alexander. Like I said when I first introduced myself to you all, Alexander Harris is my name, and I have a middle one but refuse to give it even on pain of death." He answered with a bit of a smile as he stayed focusing on the bluffs and the hints of fires where he could see the demon army's caves and pits dug into the face of the rock.

"Alexander…" Artemis tested the name. "It's a good name, protector of man it means in Greek."

Xander smiled a tired smile at her as he turned to look at Artemis. "Yeah, but protector of woman also." He added with a wink.

Artemis huffed in mock anger, "I don't need a protector." She finished glaring at Xander.

Xander waved his hands tiredly in front of him, "Hey, no offense meant, but I don't see a lot of guys here, and I didn't exactly come all this way to protect men, if you know what I mean."

"Well then, why did you come here?" She questioned turning her focus away from the valley below and towards The Grey Knight sitting next to her in his heavy skull and trilobite decorated armor.

Xander gazed off into the gloomy dusty red distance, the heat from the rocky and barren soil baked by the multiple suns rippled the air on the horizon.

"Because it was the right thing to do." Xander responded a bit of thought. "Even when I was just a normal man, or even a boy, I couldn't not fight when I learned about the darkness, about the vampires and demons. I lost my best friend, my brother in all but name to them, and then there was Buffy… Well, it wasn't that I was fighting for Buffy so much as bringing the donuts, but still I was there. Plain old Xander, sometimes Xander the bait, Xander the sidekick, or Xander the research help, but I was always there when there was a fight." He said with a forlorn smile before turning to look at the red headed beauty that was propped up next to him against the wall. Artemis had smudges of red dust trailing down her neck from where the dust had mixed with her sweat, a sweat of battle that a young woman such as her shouldn't have had to fight. Looking at Artemis, Xander realized that this is what Buffy might turn into if she was still fighting by the time she reached eighteen or nineteen; hardened and more blunt, but probably just as beautiful.

"And now I'm here, because this is where the fight is at, and whether or not you all really need a protector. If I can keep even one more of you alive until we get back to our world, then I'll do it." Xander finished before unlatching one of the metal gantlets of the Grey Knight armor he was wearing, and then using his freed hand to wipe his face.

"We don't need protectors. We are Amazons, we are the ones who protect the men." Artemis said haughtily, that bit of Bana-Mighdall Amazon pride shining through.

Xander smirked, "Sure thing Arty, but just don't try to keep me from the front. I'm not the sidekick type anymore."

Artemis glared at Xander and punched him in the shoulder, only to shake her hand after it impacted his Grey Knight armor, "Ow! Don't call me Arty, it makes me sound like a dog." She groused.

A bell sounded in the distance.

Artemis looked at Xander, and nodded to him, "That's the shift bell, my watch is done." She stated clearly, but then a bit of a blush came to the young woman's face and she looked down for a second, before looking back almost defiantly, but with a hint of a smile. "Thanks for sitting my watch with me. I… I enjoyed it." She finished a bit shyly, which was a bit weird for both of them given Artemis's normally hardened warrior disposition.

Xander smiled his patented semi-suave semi-goofy grin and imitated like he was tipping a hat to her, "Any time, I enjoyed it also." He said as he forced himself to his knees and then to a standing position. Brushed his hands off from the dust, reaffixed his gauntlet back onto his hand, and then picked up his power glaive that was resting against an unlit torch on the top of the wall.

Artemis suddenly realized that she was acting a little doe eyed towards Xander, so blustered, "You're not so bad, for a Man." She finished, trying to hide her smile at his actions.

Xander just chuckled, "Yeah yeah, come on mighty Amazon, let's go get some dinner." With that, Xander put his power glaive on his back where it attached itself with a magnetic locking system that would hold it in place.

With that the two finished picking up their gear, just as their relief for watch duty arrived. They nodded to the new guard in passing and went to go get some much needed food.

Xander and Artemis walked down the steps from the portion of the wall they had been watching from, and Xander followed Artemis further into the city. Truthfully he hadn't spent much time touring the city as he had been more focused on what was threatening the city from outside the walls rather than examining all that was to be seen inside the walls. Ultimately that was a shame as Xander noted that it was incredibly beautiful as he followed Artemis through the streets cobbled in marble stones and threaded their way to what had formerly been the city's market place but now served as a common gathering and eating area for the Amazon tribes.

As Xander entered the city square he noted that many of the amazons stopped to watch him enter the heart of their city, but unlike his first involvement with the women warriors, the looks of anger or distrust were no longer there. The Grey Knight had fought for them and suffered with them, and there wasn't a single Amazon that would deny him his due honor now, even if Hippolyta and her daughter were still rather aloof with him.

Artemis led Xander up to a long table covered in food, much of it produce grown from his garden or hunks of beef made in the bottom floor laboratory of the food processing crystal farm that he had brought with him.

The Amazon serving behind the table smiled at Xander and handed him a large wooden plate, "Over here we have the fruits and vegetables, and at the end is the carving station." The cook started to explain.

"And if you look at the end of the line you can see where you can dip out your own flagon of wine…" The Amazon stopped speaking as her eyes went large as she was looking up at Xander as if he had suddenly grown horns or something horrible on his un-helmeted face.

Xander raised an eyebrow at the staring Amazon and asked with a bit of a frown, "What, is there something on my face?"

The Amazon screamed and pointed behind Xander.

Xander turned and looked up, just in time to see the hardened earth packed twelve foot diameter hell bramble falling out of the sky right at him.

"Fuck you Murphy." Was the last thing Xander said with a frown on his face, right before he was smashed into the ground by the falling boulder.

Food went flying as Amazons darted out of the way as Xander disappeared under the flying thorn covered boulder, the hard packed bramble rolled slightly to knock over the table before settling back onto the ground where Xander had just been standing.

"Hera protect us! Save the Grey Knight!" Somebody screamed, and Amazons shook off their stunned looks as they rushed towards the hell brabble that had crushed Alexander… only to see the giant projectile twitch and then roll to the side as Xander sat up unharmed in his Grey Knight armor and his solid black under armor of nano-clanks covering his head while a slightly glowing shield wrapped around his whole armored body.

"Damn, did somebody get the license plate on that bus?" Xander asked as he shook his head while his internal healing and nano system healed the heavy concussion he had just received.

"Are you alright Alexander?" Artemis asked cautiously with a great deal of care as she saw the black armor ripple to uncover Xander's face; a small trickle of blood seeped out of Xander's nose but he quickly wiped it away.

The alarm bells started ringing from the walls just as she asked her question.

Xander frowned at the alarm bell before giving Artemis a lopsided grin, "I'm fine, it will take more than one giant boulder to put me down." He said with mock bravado and a wink.

Just as he said it, somebody in the crowd yelled, "Look out, here comes more of them!"

Sure enough, Xander looked down and saw that his shadow was strangely getting larger. Xander blinked, looked into Artemis's eyes as they suddenly went large as well, and his thoughts caught up with him telling him what was about to happen. With a shove, he sent Artemis flying away from him to roll across the ground, just as a second projectile crushed him into the cobble stoned square once again with a mighty "KaBoom!"

Artemis shook her head to clear the ringing in her ears that had come from being knocked backwards so hard, only to look up and see the second boulder disintegrate as Xander exploded out from underneath the hardened mix of red soil and hell bramble.

Xander shot up into the sky above the city with a yell of anger, only to wheel around when he took stock of the situation and realized that twelve foot wide boulders were plowing into buildings and crushing everything in their path. High on the bluff were ten catapults, weird boney structures that almost looked alive as the giant bones that made up the catapults were wound with red tentacles that from a distance looked more like veins. In the distance scores of the grey skinned demons poured out of caves as the twenty foot tall red elder demons seemed to each lead at least five thousand of their smaller grey minions before them towards the city walls. Not only that, but before the demon army was a large herd of hell-cows that were being driven straight towards the mine field. To top off the trouble, the front gates had already been blasted apart by the catapults and the walls that had stood on the sides of the gates were nothing more than shattered stone and rubble where injured Amazons lay.

That's when Xander saw something that truly made him angry, the waste could not go unpunished, the actions of the demons ensured that they had to die a most horrible and painful death. If not for their killing and injuring the Amazons, then for the personal slight to Xander. No, it wasn't hitting Xander with the projectiles from the catapults twice in a row, no, it was a much worse slight than that.

"You… Killed… My…TWINKIES!" Xander bellowed in rage as he saw that one of the giant projectiles had absolutely crushed the crate containing the remaining snack foody goodness. Xander saw red, and looked up towards the catapults and growled.

Reaching down to his side, Xander unclipped one of his grenades and pressed the button. "Thank you for choosing Leviathan brand super-nova grenades." The polite feminine sounding British voice daintily stated from the grenade. "This device will explode in three seconds." The grenade stated, but Xander was too busy concentrating.

'_Wind from the north at fifteen knots, heat thermals rising right before the cliffs and three thousand meters horizontal with a vertical of sixty meters.' _Xander thought to himself as he calculated all of the vectors and forces that would affect his throw. Xander bit his tongue and pulled his arm back for the throw.

"Bottom of the nineth, bases loaded and full count, he pulls back, and he throws." Xander monologued as he wound up for the pitch and let fly.

"One, Two... Four, Have a nice dayyyyyyyy" The grenade's countdown faded off into the distance as the explosive was launched by Xander as from a cannon only to impact right in the middle of the half-score of catapults and explode.

As like the last time, the light was the first thing to impact, followed closely after by the massive "KAAABBOOOM!" Fortunately for the Amazons the catapults had been situated further back on the top of the bluff, thus the guards on the walls were only temporarily blinded for a moment due to the distance where as a good portion of the demons had been vaporized, blown over or blinded due to their nearness to the explosive.

Xander blinked to quickly clear the tears and spots from his eyes. As soon as he could see again, he smiled viciously as he noted that there was nothing left of the attacking catapults. Now he just had to deal with the some fifty thousand plus demons charging towards the city that now had a massive hole where once a gate once stood. To make matters worse, the demon army was already too close to use another grenade on, not if he didn't want to vaporize the front portion of the walls and every Amazon standing on it.

Xander scowled and then yelled out, broadcasting on full speakers, "To Arms Amazons! To Arms! This is it, the walls have been breached!" He broadcast, and then disappeared in a blur towards the ground only to appear again standing right in the middle of said breach in the walls as it seemed like the entire army of hell was charging right at him.

"Jarvis, I'm going to need my helmet." Xander quietly commanded patiently as a grim look came across his face. Xander turned to see Amazons running towards him and the walls, but realized that the hell-cows would hit the mine field any second and the demons would be fast upon him before the Amazons were in any shape to repel the attack.

Raising his arm left arm towards the crushed crates and the still standing Dreadknight system, Xander's lightsaber flew through the air and into his outstretched hand just as the Grey Knight's skull helmet landed on his head and attached itself to the rest of the power armor system. Xander activated the red lightsaber beam with one hand while reaching behind and unlimbering the power glaive, at the same time activating the blue glowing sickle blade on its other end.

Xander watched as the demon army came closer, "Shall we get you into your Dreadknight armor or retrieve your personal Toastmaster sir." The Jarvis system asked.

"No Jarvis, there is no time to get the armor and get back in place." Xander answered, just as the hell-cows were herded into the mine field, and the space in front of Xander exploded in fire as the multi-headed cows bellowed in fear and pain as they died.

Xander cracked his neck and commanded Jarvis, "I need some music Jarvis, and I'm feeling like 'Duel of the Fates' seems fitting given that fate and Lady Luck seem against us today."

The orchestral beat sounded out of his speakers, the sound of a thousand voice choir blasting into the air just as the demons poured through the fresh gap in the mine field and came right for Xander.

"Korah! Matah! KORAH! RAHTAHMAH!" The music blasted and Xander charged.

Red eyes glowed from the depth of his helmet as he bellowed in rage, the echo of his voice blending with the sweet strains of music as he brought both lightsaber and glaive swinging forward with fully out swept arms, crossing over and then swinging back again as he relied on his strength and the sharpness of his blades to cut through all opposition before he body checked the one a demon that stood before him and used his momentum to pulp the creature through shear inertia while sending the next ranks of demons stumbling backwards.

The dance of death began as Xander spun, Lightsaber sweeping out above his head to cover as much space as possible, only to duck and continue his spin as he moved forward to spin his glaive humming across his body to cut the demons off at the knees.

Blood flew and the growls and howls of the demons were all that Xander could hear as he was surrounded. Claws bounced off his armored chest before Xander head butted the demon that tried to rake him, the demon quickly to lost its head along with the arm that had tried to eviscerate The Grey Knight. A demon latched its teeth onto Xander's shoulder, only for its teeth to break and Xander to turn his neck to the side and head butt the monster in the face and kick another in the crotch.

It was battle, it was horror as it was Xander versus all the hordes of hell, fully separated from his allies and desperately surrounded as he tried to stem the onrush of demons that attempted to overrun him and enter the gap in the city walls before the defenders could rebut the attack.

The demons seemed to come upon him like a noxious fume that tried to suffocate him, like an ill wind. But there is a saying that "They who sow the wind, shall reap the whirlwind."

Xander growled, and then blurred as he turned into a whirlwind of spinning blades, a tornado of fury as he activated his claws and interchanged his blades from hand to hand as he spun as fast as he could so that the momentum of his blades could chop through everything in his path.

The demons around him disappeared in the tornado that was The Grey Knight. Like a class five twister, everything it touch ceased to be as not only Xander's blades but the very backlash of wind he created tore arms from torsos and legs from pelvises as he slashed through the demons like a god of war.

The music pounded, driving his battle fury onwards as a haze of red covered his eyes and the world slowed down as Xander came out of his spin and stopped facing the remaining demons that still pushed forward. He was covered and dripping with the blackish green blood of his enemy as he smashed the skull of a twitching demon that lay at his feet, already hundreds of bodies lay at his feet even while more demons pushed forward towards Xander.

"Come on!" Xander yelled in challenge to the demons… only for one of the hulking red behemoth's to rush through the crowd and smack Xander upside the head with a right cross almost quicker than Xander could watch.

Xander's head snapped to the left as a fist the size of a watermelon smacked the shit out of his helmeted face and caused his jaw to jiggle inside his helmet, only to catch a left cross that shot his head back the other direction that was then followed by an uppercut that picked him up off his feet and then launched back towards the ground to groggily shake his head.

"Grognoshdila blach bashadgh!" The Elder demon growled with an unholy gleam in his eye.

"Translation sir, "I'll enjoy eating your heart human, I'm sure it tastes good, like chicken. Oh, and Sir, you've sustained significant brain damage sir, which will take your healing factor roughly five seconds to repair." Jarvis helpfully supplied.

"Thanks Jarvis." Xander growled as he shook his head and looked up, just as the twenty foot tall Demon reared back a foot to stomp Xander into the ground.

Only the blow didn't land, as behind Alexander he heard, "AMAZONS! FIRE!"

Thousands of arrows covered the distance between the tops of the walls and the gap behind Xander, and front ranks of demons disappeared under a barrage of fast moving projectiles that turned the tall red demon and every demon that Xander could see into approximations of demonic pincushions.

Xander shook his head again and started to stand up as the Elder demon before him toppled backwards dead.

"Aim! FIRE!" Came the command from behind him again, and Xander recognized the voice as Artemis's voice. Again the sky darkened over Xander's head as the sky was filled with a mass of arrows from thousands of warrior women wielding the bows Xander had provided.

Xander shook his head one more time and turned to look back to where he could see a line of shield bearing Themyscirian Amazons covering the gap with rank upon rank of bow wielding Amazons from both tribes firing for effect.

Xander smiled a bloody grim smile as his nano-clanks healed where he had bitten his tongue and knocked out a tooth due to the super strength of the blows from the demon that had hit him. With a thump of his fist to his chest in salute to the Amazons, Xander started limping back towards the gap in the wall to allow his body to heal while the warrior women took care of the business of slaying demons.

Sure, compared to the demons the Amazons weren't as strong, as large or as daunting, but just as the men of ancient Greece had learned; one did not underestimate an Amazon warrior more than once.

From the city walls thousands upon thousands of arrows rained down on the demons that swelled the gap in the minefield as the Amazons showed the demons why the female warrior tribes were the most feared army of archers in the world.

Then to add insult to injury, Ballista were rolled forward out of warehouses and sheds, and suddenly massive spears as thick around as a woman's wrist were shot into the crowd where they would skewer multiple demons before they stopped their forward momentum.

In the crowd of demons, packs of the grey skinned demons unlimbered atlatl and the buzzing drone of drill bit shaped spears knocked amazons off the walls, only for the grim faced defenders to specifically target any demon that they saw wielding such weapon.

That Amazons held grudges was equivalent to saying the Pope was Catholic or that it's not wise to drop soap in a prison shower. In short, any demon that was wielding an atlatl was quickly marked for payback for past injuries and deaths, and said demon quickly became a pincushion. That said, death rode havoc on both sides as the demons charged forward again to meet with a clash as Amazon shield, sword and spear met demonic claws fangs and bone spears.

Xander found himself back in the fray again, blood flying as he hacked and slashed, using his heavily armored body as a shield for any Amazon that he saw was about to be overwhelmed. Beside him, the Shim-Tar whirled like a dervish, spear stabbing while sword gutted or slashed through the enemies that dared to attack her. Xander and Artemis worked the front lines, moving back and forth like spinning buzz saws that cleared the living demonic debris that threatened to choke out the defenders on the shield wall.

Inevitably Artemis and The Grey Knight found themselves fighting back to back.

Here Xander would block with a claw while Artemis's spear would dart under Xander's arm to pierce through the armpit of a demon and into its heart, only to withdraw as Xander swept the glowing sickle of his blade around to behead a demon that had attempted to stab Artemis in the back.

Whirl and stab, block and skewer, hamstring and spin again. Xander and Artemis were like some deadly ice skating duo where the blades were not on their feet but in their hands. Xander grabbed Artemis by the arm and slung her over his shoulder so she avoided a tackle as he dropped his lightsaber and beheaded the demon with his glaive, only to jump as Artemis darted through his legs and bisected a demon behind him from crotch to crown with her sword. They were panting, but every movement was no less than perfection in their task of killing as many demons as possible.

Still the demons pressed on, and the shield wall covering the gap started to bow in the middle as more and more demons pressed forward, the bodies of the dead tripping defender and attacker alike as the all out war pushed back and forth.

Xander's music had stopped by this point, and all he could hear were the growls of the demons and the screams of the dying or injured, and still he grit his teeth and strove forward. Hacking and slashing. Slashing and hacking. It seemed like the tide of demons would never end.

"Thud." A sound shook the ground as if some deep drum beat from a subwoofer had sounded, and the defenders could feel it in their chests.

"Thud… Thud….. Thud….." The thudding sound increased, several seconds between each sound, but growing louder and heavier.

A shout went out from the demons, and several of the grey skinned monsters looked around in outright fear before they turned away from where they were fighting Amazon and Grey Knight alike, and fled.

Xander stumbled forward as the demon he had been clashing with suddenly wasn't pushing forward any more.

Artemis darted forward and slashed the hamstrings of one of the twenty foot tall elder demons who fell to his knees where Artemis seemed to run up its back and then slide her sword through its ear and out the other side. The Shim-Tar rode the corpse to the ground before looking around for a new enemy to fight.

Xander twisted in a circle, and he noticed that Artemis was doing the same. Everywhere they looked the demons were retreating, running back towards the cliffs, and still the thudding sound increased in volume and now the duration of the pause between each thud was getting slightly less.

"Hurrah!" YAY!" The Amazons on the walls and in the gap started cheering as they watched their demonic enemy flee.

Xander just stared out at the retreating demons, and still the thudding got louder.

Xander had a hard time hearing over the shouts of joy of the Amazons yelling from the walls, so finally he turned to them and broadcast angrily on his speakers at maximum volume.

"Be Quiet! We're not out of this yet. They had no reason to run, and whatever that thudding is, can't be a good thing." Xander yelled with a frown on his face behind his helmet.

Xander turned with his back to the Amazons and tried to use his sensors to pin point where the thudding sound was coming from, as now it was literally shaking the ground as pebbles seemed to dance on the hard packed dirt with each massive Thud.

"Jarvis, get aloft and tell me what you see." Xander commanded as he squinted as his helmet disengaged and took off into the air above the city. Xander took the moment to wipe the sweat off his brow with his metal covered arm, but all he succeeded in doing was smearing black blood and red dirt into his hair and across his forehead.

"What is it Alexander, what is this problem that you tell the women to quiet down?" Artemis commanded as she cleaned her blades on a cloth and walked towards Xander while trying to figure out where the thudding was coming from.

Still in the distance the massive sounds of Thud…Thud…Thud…Thud… sounded.

Xander's answer was to point to the grey demons that were now disappearing into the holes in the rocks. Only the elder demons with their red tattoos could be seen on the tops of the bluffs, and they were all bent over bowing towards something that Xander couldn't see from his vantage point.

"Artemis, if something can scare the shit out of those demons enough to make them run away when they still had thousands more to throw at us, then it's not of the good." Xander answered grimly.

From Xander's armor came the sound of Jarvis's voice as the floating helmet picked up images from beyond the horizon.

"Um, sir, my databases don't have enough information to make a positive ID, but I think we have a problem." Jarvis's voice said, and unfortunately for Xander and the Amazons, the AI's voice sounded worried.

Just then something started to appear over the horizon. First massive brownish red horns the color of old dried blood, followed by rows of short spikes, and then a forehead followed by a face with a skeletal split where a nose should have been but where instead two ventral slits were exposed and green vapors issued out of the slits. To each side of the slits were massive red eyes with fiery orange pupils that seemed focused right in on Xander and the Amazon city. However the worse thing about the situation was that the head was brushing the low hanging clouds.

Xander's eyes went wide as he spat out the first thing that came to mind. "Holy Balrog on Crack Batman, they've got an Old One!"

The new demon, a true Old One or what could be considered a Hell God for this dimension began to seemingly grow as it came closer with every step that shook the earth. Red scaly shoulders appeared under a head that was easily twenty to thirty feet in diameter. The tips of leathery wings could be seen peaking up over the thing's shoulders and disappeared up into the clouds, each wing folded tightly to its back as an armored breastplate of bone seemed to grow out of the things chest as it was just now being exposed with each additional step

Xander had to admit to himself that he was scared silly, but he had never shied away from a fight, never and no matter how dire the threat. He wasn't going to do it now, even while a very small part of him felt like calling out for mommy and hiding under his bed.

Xander gritted his teeth and stared as the Old One came to the edge of the bluff and raised clawed arms outstretched and screamed a cry that literally split the clouds above it with the blast of sound and air that it dispelled. That image would be burned forever into Xander's memory for the rest of his life, no matter how long or short it may be given the facts of the situation he found himself in.

It stood at two hundred feet, bellowing in rage to the sky. Greyish black plates of bone covered where pectorals would be on a human man while solid continuous ridges of bone with spikes formed some perversion of what should have been a six pack over the dirty blood red skin. A tattered and dirty loincloth of some giant flying demon's skin covered its nakedness and bony plates covered thighs and shins until giant claws capped off toes that literally tore the earth beneath it with every step. Its arms were the thickness of tanker trucks, its claws the length of telephone poles and with its wings fully unfurled to completely block out the light from one of the sun's in the sky.

"If we all concentrate really hard, maybe it will turn into the stay puffed marshmallow man, marshmallows are much easier to burn… Nah, that isn't going to work." Xander mumbled to himself loud enough that the Amazons around him could hear him, but none of them answered him as they were all too afraid to even think or move.

Xander looked down to the lightsaber laying on the ground at his side before turning and leaving the gap in the city walls, headed for his gear. "I'm going to need a bigger sword."

Artemis blinked as The Grey Knight's movement broke the Amazons out of their shock. On the cliff some two and a half thousand yards away, the Old One jumped off the cliff to land on the valley floor with an earth shattering BOOM that knocked some staring Amazons off their feet.

Bedlam erupted as Amazons ran about trying to get ready to combat an enemy that they had no real ability to defeat. On the walls Hippolyta yelled out orders to bring up more ballista and to break out oil and torches, hoping somehow that they could take the monster with them or at least save some Amazons before they were all destroyed by this horrible fiend.

Xander marched through the chaos resolutely, heading towards his Dreadknight system, his lightsaber flying through the air to clip itself to his hip without him even realizing he had called it to him.

"Where are you going!" Artemis yelled as she turned wide eyed from staring at the Greater Demon that defied all belief to chase after the Grey Knight.

"To get my bigger sword." Xander answered as he strode at a determined pace towards his Dreadknight system.

"You're going to go out there and fight it? Are you insane?" Artemis screeched as she grabbed Xander's arm and tried to pull him back.

Xander shrugged her off and kept marching forward, his strength easily out surpassing hers.

"I'll do what I must to make sure you survive, even if that means going out there to give you all as much time as possible, I won't let that thing get to you Arty." Xander said as he arrived at his Dreadknight system and did a fast system check to make sure that the ammo was full on the Gatling canons and that the plasma system had a full charge. The giant sword was strapped to its back, sharp and ready to be used.

"Wait, look at me." Artemis commanded, and when Xander didn't stop his check she grabbed him by the head and turned him to look at her. "Look at me Xander!" She yelled.

Xander stopped what he was doing and allowed her to turn his head to look at her.

Artemis looked at Xander, really looked at him and right in the eyes.

Xander stared silently and determinedly at the Shim-Tar as Artemis held his head with her hands on each side of cheeks.

Artemis looked down, and then back at The Grey Knight. Bit her lip, and then a look of determination came across her face right before she leapt upwards so that her head was at Xander's height, and then she kissed him.

Arms wrapped around his neck, she closed her eyes, legs wrapped around the waist of his blood covered armor, both of them dusty, sweaty, grime and blood covered and she kissed him for all that she was worth.

Xander was first surprised, but then reached an arm around behind Artemis to hold her to him as he closed his eyes and kissed her back. Both closed their eyes and it was as if the world faded out around them for a moment… but then the Thud sounded, followed by another.

Xander opened his eyes and pulled away from the kiss as he looked with caring down on the tall but still shorter Shim-Tar. Forcefully but gently he pried Artemis off of him and set her down onto her feet.

Artemis looked up at Xander, and a hint of a tear threatened to leave her eye but she choked it back with determination. The ancient women of Greece, specifically Sparta had a saying, "Come home on with your shield or on it." It was the type of mentality that women throughout the ages had exemplified as their men had gone off to battle and probable death. It's tough to say which is harder, being the one left behind or the one who leaves to go off to battle knowing that you probably won't survive the odds against you. Either way, Artemis was up for the task.

"Come back safely Alexander Harris, Grey Knight. We can talk about more kisses to follow the promise that was found in that last one." Artemis stated her heart in her eyes as she called upon her warrior training to be strong; after all, if Xander died she and the rest of the Amazons would probably do so shortly after and she could join him on the Elysium plains, the area of the afterlife reserved for heroes and those related to the gods.

Xander smiled a true heartfelt smile at the shorter women. "I'll do what I can." Xander answered as his armored hand came up and lightly caressed her cheek, wiping a bit of grime off her cheek carefully.

Then with a deep breath and a stealing of his nerves Xander called to his helmet to come down from the sky and join him as he floated up and twisted to stand inside the armored cradle of the Dreadknight system.

In the distance, the thudding booms of the Old One's footsteps grew louder.

Xander's red eyed skeletal helmet clicked and locked with a whir of bolts and pneumatic locks as it covered his head and sealed into place as the armored clamshell breastplates of the Dreadknight exo-armor clanged together and connecting cables snaked between Grey Knight armor and Dreadknight system to complete Xander's control over the exoskeleton armor. Xander seated his hands in the control gauntlets of his armor and rotated his hands so that the control systems locked together.

The armor came alive with a hum of power and Xander reached behind his back and unsheathed his sword. Then with his sword pointed forward and to the sky, Xander gave one more look down to where Artemis was backing away from his armor, nodded his head in silent goodbye, and then as the power blade came to life with a blue glow the jet thrusters on the back and feet of the Dreadknight system blasted off sending him flying into the air and over the wall to charge the oncoming Hell God.

Xander soared over the heads of the Amazons and the walls as Hippolyta stopped shouting commands to watch the Grey Knight charge the seemingly unbeatable foe. She looked at the man who had risked everything to save her people, the man who had saved her daughter's life, saved the lives of countless Amazons and even fed her people. She watched as that very same man who had risked everything on a wild ride to hell charged off to a fate which she didn't think he could come back from. Something in Hippolyta's heart finally realized that here was a man that could be trusted, not any other man, not even the Leviathan that had sent the Grey Knight. But for one man in the world, she would hold trust in him, Alexander, The Grey Knight, Protector of Men and Women alike.

Hippolyta turned to the Amazons around her who were staring in awe and the bravery of the Grey Knight.

"Sisters!" Hippolyta called out and the Amazons turned to listen to their Queen. "Give a cheer to the hero who sacrifices himself for us, and pray to the Gods for his soul. For there goes a true example of a Man!" She called out before turning and starting to pray to the Greek Gods that The Grey Knight would be looked after when he found his place among the honorable and victorious dead, for she did not think that even if Alexander defeated the Old One that he would survive to see the defeat to completion.

Truth be told, Xander didn't think that he was going to be walking away from this one either, but then again he had never been one for listening to fate or believing that there were things out there that were impossible. In fact, some days Xander did several impossible things before breakfast, and perhaps one or two during lunch if he was feeling bored.

The chunking sounds of Xander's Dreadknight's mechanical feet charging forward were a counterpoint to the heavy thudding of the Old One that was focused on the milling crowd of Amazons on the wall and in the gap into the city.

"Time to get the big guy's attention." Xander announced as he charged forward, mechanical feet eating up the dirt and closing the distance to the Old One very quickly.

"I hope this works." Xander said to himself as he raised the left arm that held that twin Gatling cannons and targeted the face of the two hundred foot tall demon lord.

The gun barrels started spinning as Xander targeted the right eye of the Old One, and then with a phenomenal discharge the guns began to fire.

"WHEEEEEEEE BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG…" Bullets stitched themselves across the cheek and into the red glaring eye that was easily five feet across.

"SREEEEECH!" The Old One twisted its head with a screech of pain as its eye juices splattered across its face and it whipped its arm up to shield its face, and Xander's rounds were intercepted by bone armored plating on the back of the hand that covered the giant demon's face.

"Ah ha! Got ya!" Xander yelled with joy as he continued to race towards the Hell God… only for said monstrously sized demon to lower its hand and show a fully healed eye.

"Bugger." Xander cursed, just as the Old One turned its attention away from the city and towards the nuisance that was the Grey Knight.

Xander continued shooting, stitching his armor piercing rounds down over the neck and then chest of the Old One, but bullet holes healed almost as quickly as they were made and the boney plates didn't even chip where the bullets hit them.

"Ok, that didn't work." As Xander stopped his forward momentum and started running sideways, still spitting out rounds from his cannons at the towering Old One.

The Old One turned to follow the progression of the armored system that was fighting it, towering over the twenty foot tall Dreadknight exo-armor by a factor of ten. The large red and orange eyes traced the path of the attacking nuisance and the Old One pulled its arms inwards and took a long deep inward breath. As the Hell God breathed in, red glowing runes that were five times larger than those tattooed on the smaller elder demons seemed to come to life as if a fire was lit in them. Then with a fast exhale, a red blast of pure demonic power shot out of the Old One's mouth right at Xander.

Xander only had time for his eyes to go large and to think, _'Shit! I've got its attention, now what do I do!'_ Before he was forced to dive to the side, the Dreadknight skidded sideways across the hard packed red dirt as its shoulder banged against the ground and was also sent into a semi-spin as Xander didn't get out of the path of the demonic blast in time and the left arm of the Dreadknight system was clipped by the attack.

Dust exploded from the ground where the Dreadknight hit and rolled, and a thirty foot long trench was dug through the red soil of the hell dimension as the magical attack destroyed the left arm of Xander's exo-armor and kept going to eat through the earth behind him.

Xander quickly caused the armor to push itself up off the ground and back to its feet.

"Sir, the Gatling guns are no longer functional." Jarvis reported diligently.

"Thanks Jarvis, I figured that out." Xander gritted through his teeth as he saw the twisted wreckage of what used to be the left arm of his exo-armor laying on the ground and starting to melt into a puddle of liquid metal.

Xander looked up and saw that the Old One was no longer focusing on Xander but was back to walking towards Themyscira.

"Oh no you don't." Xander growled, anger painting his face as he caused his armor to pick up his twelve foot long sword where it had fallen on the ground when he tried to dodge the Hell God's attack.

Xander charged forward, quickly covering the distance to the Old One that was fully focused on the city and the women inside.

Aiming at the back of its legs, the back of the knee joints some thirty feet again above the height of Xander's twenty foot tall Dreadknight armor, Xander ignited his jet boosters and launched into the air sword first.

"HAVE AT THEE! BWA HA HA HA HA." Xander yelled with an insane laugh, he couldn't believe he was attacking an Old One with a sword, a big sword and a power sword at that, but still a sword.

Xander neared the back of the Old One's knee caps and the Hell God began to turn to look behind it just as Xander reeled back and swung his sword humming forward and through one side and out the other of first one leg and then the second as his jet powered jump's trajectory brought him right up behind the Old One.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha!" Xander yelled in success as the Old One bellowed in pain and seemed to fall in slow motion.

Unfortunately for Xander, Old Ones, and especially Old Ones who look kind of like Balrogs, are vengeful and like to take down their attackers with them.

The Old One flailed as it attempted to right itself as it's lower legs fell away. Wings unfurling, one of the bony spines that lined the giant wing clipped the back of the still airborne Xander, and suddenly Xander got to experience a roller coaster ride sans roller coaster.

'_Mayday! Mayday! We're Going Down! Um, Huston we've got problems!'_ The voice of warning screamed in Xander's head as suddenly the rocket powered armor was spinning end over end.

Xander saw the earth coming up towards his face very quickly and thought to himself, "Hmmm, this isn't good." Which may have been available for a vote for understatement of the year as he was launched face first into the side of the volcanic cone where he had once saved several Amazons from certain death.

"KA-Booom… thud thud thud thud thud…" Xander hit the lip of the crater and then skipped into the air, rockets still firing and propelling him right back into the ground where he rolled over and over again until he ended up face down in the dirt.

Xander's world was spinning, and he thought he heard several of the voices in his head getting violently ill from motion sickness.

"Um, urp, that didn't work out too well." Xander said as everything in his vision seemed to spin for a bit until it slowed till a standstill; the "urp" was his own successful attempt to keep his breakfast down due to slight motion sickness.

Raising himself up shakily, Xander looked over his right shoulder as he brought his exo-armor up to its knees, just in time to see the now stub-legged Old One push itself up onto its stumps and breathe out right towards Xander; the red glowing runes already fully lit and nowhere for Xander to escape to.

"SHIELDS!" Xander screamed, and the Grey Knight armor raised its force field which immediately severed all connections with the Dreadknight system with a *snap* of power, right before the demonic blast obliterated the Dreadknight system around Xander.

Pain.

Xander's world was pain as he felt like a dump truck had run over his chest while at the same time five sumo wrestlers were getting slap happy with his face and a midget had head-butted him in the crotch… all at the same time.

Xander passed out for a moment or two, and it took a few seconds for the blackness that had swallowed him up to turn grey and finally give him vision of the inside of his helmet.

"Cough, cough, damage, cough report Jarvis." Xander ordered, a trickle of blood coughing out his mouth as he spoke, and he felt wetness in his ears and near his nose as he couldn't hear himself speak.

A muffled sound came to him, then with an audible "Pop" he heard Jarvis reply, "Sorry sir, but your ear drums were burst. Dreadknight system totally destroyed, the shields saved your life and muted the blast but shields have failed due to the magical interference and it was only the nature of the Nth Metal that allowed you to survive, albeit with severe internal injuries."

Xander coughed up a mouthful of blood, and spit it into his helmet which quickly absorbed the fluids and then used them to be put back into Xander's body as the auto-doc program tried to fix up the punctured lungs and broken ribs that Xander had received along with the two broken legs.

Xander struggled to move, and his sensors fed him the sound of screeching bubbling metal as he pushed himself up out of the wreckage of his Dreadknight armor that literally melted away from him. Xander came to his knees and looked out at the plains of hell, but his broken tibias wouldn't let him stand just yet and the aching in his ribs was making it hard for him to even stay upright.

The Hell God was still holding itself up with its clawed arms and stumpy legs, but now it was screeching in rage as apparently Xander had just pissed it off. Already a bubbling stump seemed to be growing out of where Xander had severed the legs, suggesting that the Old One would heal if given the time. Of course the Hell God wasn't going to wait for its legs to heal before it dined on Amazons, as Xander watched as its wings unfurled from its back and started to flap, picking the huge demon up off the ground and starting to rise into the air towards the city in the not so far distance.

Xander looked from the Hell God, to the city of the Amazons, and he thought of Artemis, he thought of Dina and all the other Amazons he had become friends with, and he growled.

Xander's eyes flashed green, and the power of the Primal empowered him and allowed him to stand despite the compound fractures in his legs, heaving breaths that gurgled as his inner nano-clanks hurried to get the blood out of his lungs and ignoring all pain.

"You… will… not… hurt… my PACK!" Xander screamed in rage.

Xander's lightsaber was in his hand and he was blasting through the air faster than a speeding bullet, with more power than a locomotive and quicker than you could blink as a bellow of absolute bestial rage sprang from Xander's throat.

Then Xander was on the flying Old One. Like a sparrow chasing off an eagle, no more like a hummingbird taking on a terradactyl Xander attacked with an all out constant bellow of rage.

Forget flitting like a butterfly and stinging like a bee, Xander was a pissed off Spark with a lightsaber! Xander cut off one of the Old One's wings before slicing off a horn and then dodging around a flailing claw to gouge out an eye.

The Hell God tumbled from the sky and landed in part of the remaining mine field, explosions going off below as Xander continued to fly circles around the furiously flailing Old One.

"How do you like that mother fucker?" Xander yelled angrily, his eyes gleaming and backlit by the pure power of the Primal as the Spark came together with the Alpha Primal Spirit to allow the impossible to happen, a mortal to take on a true Old One in hand to hand combat with nothing but a sword.

Xander sliced right through one of the pectoral bones that protected the creatures hide. "How's them apples Bitch! That's for your toadies smashing my Twinkies." Xander continued to yell and spit profanities as he blurred from place to place, here stabbing, there slashing, and where the lightsaber struck it not only cut but it cauterized the wound behind it so that the Old One struggled to heal the wounds Xander gave it.

"And that's for the Amazons who died!" Xander shouted as he sliced off a pinky finger before running the blade up the giant monster's forearm. "And that's for all the pain and agony your followers caused." Xander continued to yell in fury as he stabbed and cut everything he could while continually dodging ineffective attacks.

"BWA HA HA HA! You may have beaten my machines, you may have beaten my inventions and even broken my bones, but you won't beat my SPARK!" Xander yelled as he charged forward and with a two handed over handed blow drove his lightsaber straight between the Hell God's eyes, probing for grey matter with the full length of the blade.

Xander pushed the blade as far as it would go until the handle touched even with the skin on the bellowing Hell God's forehead.

The two large red eyes went cross-eyed as they focused on Xander floating there.

Xander paused, briefly puzzled that the light saber hadn't melted the monster's brains. This was a huge tactical mistake.

Quicker than you can say, "Oops" the Old One's clawed hand swept forward and grabbed Xander in a crushing grip.

The sound of tortured twisted metal echoed across the valley as the Hell God Bellowed in rage right in Xander's face while slowly crushing his armor around him.

"WARNING, Internal systems failure imminent, SPITZZZ, WARNING, Internal System Failure… imminent system shut dowwwwwnnnnn…" Jarvis's voice came in spits and starts as sparks ignited inside Xander's power armor and helmet, burning his skin and causing Xander to jerk from electrocution as he was slowly crushed to death under the inexorable strength of the Hell God's grip.

"Cough, Must Cough Get loose." Xander struggled to twist and turn, but neither the strength of Superman housed in his Amazo nano-clanks nor the combination with the power of the Primal could free Xander.

"Grahh grah grah grah. GRAH GRAH GRAH GRAH." The Hell God said, and Xander realized that the Old One was laughing at Xander. Xander watched as the visuals on his helmet saw the lightsaber get pushed out of the head of the Hell God as the wound healed.

"GRAH GRAH GRAH GRAH!" The Old One laughed as it crushed the life out of the creature that had dared to challenge it.

Xander had been nearly immobilized by the pain, but when he heard the Hell beast laughing at him, something deep inside of Xander broke loose as a strange sense of distance came to Xander's mind, and he could think easily upon his life.

There was that piece of Xander that was the funny man and had sought to make others laugh, often at his expense. But hidden behind that mask was the true strength that Xander had always had, even before he was gifted or cursed with the Spark. And that strength was the inability for him to accept failure. Prophesy says the Slayer had to die at the hand of the Master, hell no, Xander won't let that happen. Xander's father says Xander won't live up to anything and will end up an alcoholic waste like his dear old dad, Hell No, Xander won't let that happen. Somebody going to hurt his friends? A Hell God going to laugh at Xander as it crushed the life out of Xander? HELL NO, Xander won't let that happen!

A gleam came to Xander's eye, and an evil smile crept across his face.

"Cough, cough, you only think you've won." Xander stated, broadcasting his speech verbally, and the Old One paused to hear what the human had to say as the Hell God believed it would only add to the pleasure of destroying these humans and increase their suffering.

"Cough, Grenade activation code, cough cough, Twinkie Twinkie Fuck You cough." Xander spit out between gasps for breath as the armor crushed in against his chest and it was an incredible struggle even to breath.

"Thank you sir, activation code Twinkie Twinkie Fuck You acknowledged, destruction in t-minus twenty seconds and counting." The polite feminine British voice of the grenades' speakers stated, that is all of the remaining super-nova grenades said the same thing at the same time.

The Old One looked at the armored figure in its hand, not understanding what it was saying, or at least not understanding the words or where these other female voices came from.

"Firewall on!" Xander choked out with a yell, and suddenly gas jets with liquefied fuel for the plasma system vented out of the back of Xander's armor and then ignited until he was covered in a roiling inferno of flesh melting fire.

The Hell God let out a tremendous "SCREEEEEECH!" as the hand crushing Xander was immolated by flames and ceased to exist.

Before Xander could drop out of the air, he swung his hand down to his side, ignoring the pain of the cracks in his armor where the fire was singing away skin and muscle and burning down into Xander's bones.

Grabbing his fireproof grenade belt, Xander chucked the loop of super-nova grades into the open mouth of the bellowing Hell God and dropped towards the ground where he used his last bit of fading consciousness to activate his flight powers and send him soaring towards Themyscira and over the walls to skid off the top of the wall and then tumble across the courtyard.

With his last bit of strength he pushed himself and commanded the Firewall system to turn off. Xander's bulk flipped over onto his back and he felt the armor shift and cut into his body as he was left staring straight up at the sky, and his vision began to fade.

"Cough, How do you like dem twinkies, Bitch…" Xander chuckled to himself, blood now flowing freely out of his lips with ever cough. As Xander shifted, he felt every puncture wound on the armor cut into his flesh and cause more internal bleeding, the Grey Knight armor had punched through his stomach and was cutting through his intestines with every motion or breath that he struggled to take.

Through the encroaching darkness that was swallowing Xander's vision, and the sparks and fizzles that interrupted his visuals of his helmet Xander saw Artemis's face suddenly hovering above him.

Artemis looked down at the crushed and burned remains of the Grey Knight, the smell of burnt hair and flesh wafting up from cracks in the armor. Artemis looked down at the armor in horror and realized that she had to get him free of his armor if she was going to save him.

Frantically, the Shim-Tar grabbed the skeletal helmet of the Grey Knight and wrenched it back and forth, ignoring the fact that the hot metal was burning her hands as she did so. She had to get Xander free!

Around Artemis Amazons ran around bringing ballista to bear on the struggling Old One who was now missing a hand and both legs. But while other Amazons fought to take down the beast, Artemis fought with Xander's armor.

Finally with a click and a hiss the helmet popped off exposing Xander's eyes that blinked almost unseeing before they slowly turned to look at her with a bloody smile.

Xander's lips moved, but no sound came out of them other than bubbles of blood.

"Shhh, don't talk, we need to get you healed." Artemis said as she stared down at him, her hands frantically searching for the clamps that she had watched him use in the past to get in and out of the heavy armor.

"Gods be damned open Damnit! Open up you dumb armor." Artemis cursed the armor as tears began to drip from her eyes to sizzle on the still hot metal.

Her fingers scrabbled on the clasp, but it was smashed shut and nothing she could do would get it off, and all the while Xander just smiled up at her quietly and peacefully.

Xander's soft voice drew her attention away from the clasp she was fighting with.

"No Arty, I don't think I'm going to make it this time, and somehow I always figured I'd die in some back alley after a brawl with a vampire, Cough cough," Xander stated as blood began to spill more quickly from his lips.

Xander turned his head and spat to the side before continuing. "Heh heh, well at least I got the Big Bad, I wonder if Buffy would have approved." Xander's eyes lost focus for a second there before swinging to look right into Artemis's eyes.

Artemis cupped his cheek gently in her hand as tears spilled continuously from her eyes. She had never felt this way about a man before, and now when she figures it out he's dying. In the back of her mind she both cursed the Gods and prayed that they would save him, save him right now and she would worship them again.

"I'm sorry I failed to get you all home." Xander started, his breath halting and wheezing as he struggled to breathe.

Artemis tried to interrupt him, "No, no you didn't fail, we're going to be ok…" Only for Xander to continue talking.

Focusing right on Artemis's face, Xander smiled his patented lopsided grin and raised his right arm slowly, fighting the weight of the heavy armor and the unpowered servos that didn't want to move. Cupping Artemis's face in his hand carefully, his fingers curving to caress her face ever so softly despite his inhuman strength he said, "I always was a sucker for the strong beautiful women, cough cough" and his smile became less of a grin and more of a sincere caring smile, "I think I could have loved you…"

Artemis choked up, eyes going wide at his words, and then before her eyes she saw her Xander's eyes glass over and lose their focus, a sigh escaped his lips, and his hand halted its caress of her cheek, forever frozen as Xander no longer had the life in him with which to force the armor to his will.

"No." Artemis gasped, her hand clasping at Xander's frozen arm to try and get it to respond. "No no no." She cried, tears pouring from the hardened warriors eyes to paint Xander's chest and puddle in the eye sockets of the skull crest in the center of his breastplate. Her hands scrambled towards his face, clutching desperately at the sides of his face to try and force Xander to focus on her, but his skin was already starting to cool to her touch. So focused was she on Alexander in her arms, that she failed to see the brief flash of light that marked the massive destruction of the Old One due to Xander's grenades exploding as one. So focused was she on her love dying in her arms, that she failed to note the brief flicker of black in the sky, then red before bright blue Caribbean sky was overhead with little fluffy white clouds.

"NO!" Artemis cried out in anguish, clutching her face and covering her eyes as she sobbed uncontrollably as she fell off of her knees to land on her butt in the dust and dirt, oblivious to the fact that Themyscira had survived the war in hell and been returned to the world from which it originated.

Then to add insult to injury, Artemis heard a "SNAP!" and she uncovered her eyes just in time to witness a black portal appear and swallow up the body of The Grey Knight before disappearing and leaving her alone in the dirt.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Artemis screamed and pounced towards where Xander's body had just lain. Pounding the dirt in her sorrow and crying with dust sticking to her tear stained face.

Around her on the walls and on the grounds, the Amazons were a mix of emotions, but none of them cheered. The relief of surviving hell and the invasion of the demons, even the defeat of the Old One was tempered by the loss of the true hero who had given his life for them in the end.

Sister hugged sister silently, and the Amazons turned to see the warrior leader of the Bana-Mighdall sobbing her eyes out and wailing in anguish, and they couldn't help but cry with her. Dina, Artemis's sister, rushed from her place on the walls. Still battered and bruised from the battle Dina ran to her sister's side, clutching Artemis in her arms as Dina too fell to the ground and hugged her sister while both cried together for their loss.

Hippolyta walked forwards from her place where she had been readying the reserve soldiers on the other side of the courtyard, regally, but with tears also wetting her cheek, she carefully and gently laid her hand on Artemis's head and then knelt down to embrace both sisters, as she too mourned the loss of not only a true hero, but the loss of the first man she felt she could trust in almost six hundred years. Hippolyta might not have liked Alexander all that much, as he had constantly shown her disrespect, but then she realized that she was the cause that disrespect in the first place and she owed him all honor and respect.

Looking up at the combined tribes of Amazons that surrounded them, Hippolyta came to the decision that they would rebuild, but for now they would mourn the loss and pay honor to the sisters they had lost, but most of all to the Man who had saved them at the cost of his own life, The Grey Knight.

* * *

**AN: Ok, don't scream foul, don't go running away from this story as it isn't over by a long shot. This is not the end, this is a DC comics crossover, so figure it out. Damn I cried so much writing this last scene, even though I know what is going to happen next it still made me cry to picture it in my head. I hate sad stories, I read fiction to have the hero win and get the girl in the end, so I'll be damned if I let the story end here! There is just so much else to do, but you'll have to wait until next time. I'd say cheers, but after the last scene I don't feel so cheery, so I'll say please let me know your thoughts and ideas. Honestly though, I don't write for reviews, but it's the only legal tender that we fanfiction authors can receive, and after pouring out so much time and effort on this chapter I really hope you take the time to let me know your thoughts, ideas and whether or not you liked it via a review or small note. Thanks either way, and see you next time, same Spark of Genius channel, Same Spark of Genius time.**


	37. Chapter 37: I Got Better…

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN1: Ok, so I seem to be unable to leave a chapter on anything other than a cliffy. Oops, I'm so very very sor… Nah, I enjoyed every minute of it. Bwa ha ha ha ha… This chapter represents a break from the morose and a return to the zany and madcap adventures of Xander. I originally thought I would be able to work in all of the pranks on superman, but realized that the chapter would end up being equal length and waiting period as the last one. Ultimately I decided to do a shorter chapter (still longer than 10k words) and split up the next crazy plot stream; I hope you enjoy it none the less. That said, I really want to thank everybody who wrote me a review, a recommendation or sent me a message. I really appreciate it and that's why I started working on this chapter before chapter 36 was even out for more than an hour. Again, let me know your thoughts, and I hope you enjoy. Cheers!**

**AN2: ATTENTION, I am in need of a beta for this story as my current beta has begged off until after finals. That said, this chapter has not been beta read. Ultimately I'm looking for somebody who has time, a good sense for grammar, and most of all can call me when I say something like this:**

**Author, "This dang sentence is Inconceivable!"**

**Beta, "You keep saying that word. I do not think this word means what you think it means." **

**(I apologize for the blatant Princess Bride joke*)**

**Thanks, please message me if you are interested in beta'ing for me. Cheers!**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 37: I Got Better…**

Black Knight: None shall pass!  
King Arthur: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight. But I must cross this bridge.  
Black Knight: Then you shall die.  
King Arthur: I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!  
Black Knight: I move for no man.  
King Arthur: So be it!  
[They fight until Arthur cuts off the Black Knight's left arm]  
King Arthur: Now, stand aside, worthy adversary!  
Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch!  
King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm's off!  
Black Knight: No, it isn't!  
King Arthur: Well, what's that then?

[Arthur points out the arm lying on the ground]  
Black Knight: I've had worse.  
King Arthur: You liar!  
Black Knight: Come on, you pansy!

[With that, the Black Knight attacks Arthur again.]

~Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"He's dead, he's really dead." Willow stated between the sobs that wracked her body as she sat in the high school library during the late afternoon. Willow's puffy red eyes almost matched the color of her hair she was crying hard as she sat in the library. The sun cast growing shadows from the book cases as the sun moved across the sky and sent its rays of light through the glassed in portions of the ceiling of the school building. The growing shadows mirrored the expressions and feelings of three remaining Scoobies that sat at the table in the middle of the library.

"No more yellow crayons, no more Snoopy dance, no more Hawaiian shirts or Twinkie fetishes." Willow finished before breaking down into inconsolable tears and Buffy just hugged her from the seat next to Willow.

"He wanted to know if I was proud of him when he saved all of those lives and took out an Old One, a real Old One." Buffy Just seemed stunned as tears rolled unnoticed down her cheeks as she thought of all her missed opportunities to be a true friend to Xander and ultimately how proud she was of him. Buffy fought with the thoughts that she had even lost the chance to thank Xander for saving her life, or to tell him she was sorry she hadn't respected him or treated him right when he stood loyally by her side.

Buffy just hugged Willow and cried as she stared off into the stacks, Buffy's tears dripping onto the copy of the comic book on her lap, open to the last page where Xander's glassy eyes looked unseeing upon the world and was portrayed in vivid color on the page right before he was swallowed up by some black portal.

"There was just so much blood." Buffy stated without really thinking about her words as she pulled Willow into a tighter embrace.

Giles sat quietly, collar of his shirt loosely unbuttoned and tie askew as he drank his single malt scotch straight from the bottle. Rupert Giles didn't care that it was the middle of the day, he didn't care that he was drinking in the middle of his school, in fact the Ripper part of him hoped Principal Snyder came in and confronted him about his drinking. A certain blood thirsty part of Giles would welcome not only the distraction but also the chance to literally tear into the little man who had made it his goal to terrorize Xander when the boy had been a resident of Sunnydale High School.

Meanwhile another part of Giles knew he would be kicking himself for his actions towards such a good label of Scotch, and if that wasn't enough then tomorrow's hangover would certainly remind him of his folly. However, Rupert Giles still drank in remembrance and honor of Xander Harris. The Ripper in Giles couldn't allow a bloody incredible hero to go out without a drink, especially after the boy had taken an Old One with him, now that took bullocks of steel. Additionally, the paternal feelings that Giles felt towards Xander wouldn't allow him to not raise a drink to his son who he was so proud of, and Rupert Giles mourned the inability to tell Xander that to his face. A second copy of the comic book, issue thirty six, lay tear stained in Giles's hands as for the first time in his life the librarian Rupert Giles unknowingly ruined a printed manuscript with both tears and drips of scotch whiskey that sloshed as he progressively got more and more drunk.

It was at that point that the door to the library swung open and Andrew and Jonathan walked in discussing the merits of which would be more fun in the sack, a Klingon women or the three-breasted cat woman dancer who wrestled with Captain Kirk. The two geek's conversation halted abruptly when they realized the mood of the individuals sitting in the darkening library. The "Dastardly Duo," as they called themselves these days, had only been gone for about twenty minutes to go grab some food after they dropped off the latest batch of comic books, only to come back to a Library with the lights off and the inhabitants in a definite funk.

Jonathan reached over to the right from his place on the stairs down into the library and flipped the light switch, bathing the Scoobies in light and causing them to blink while a very Ripper like statement was torn from Gile's throat.

"Turn the bloody fucking lights back off!" Ripper spat as he turned angry bloodshot eyes at Jonathan before Giles tipped his head back and took another pull from his bottle.

Ignoring the demand to shut off the lights, Jonathan just blinked and looked at Giles, then Willow, and then finally Buffy before turning to Andrew with a confused look on his face. Andrew shrugged in return.

"What are you guys crying about?" Jonathan finally asked with a confused look on his face as he turned back towards the Scoobies.

Willow just burst into fresh tears while Giles took another big swig from his bottle, and Buffy glared at Jonathan and Andrew with a silent threat that communicated her urge to floss with their spines if they said another insensitive comment. Jonathan's eyebrows went up, and then he saw the copies of the comic books in the Scoobies hands.

Andrew looked at Jonathan, then Jonathan looked at Andrew, then both gave each other a confused look before turning and addressing Buffy's glare.

"Um guys, you do know that in the DC comic book universe the main character never stays dead, right? That's not the end of the story, so he can't be really dead yet." Jonathan quizzically stated.

Buffy, Willow and Giles all blinked, and turned to look at the nerdy duo as Jonathan's words slowly started to sink in.

Andrew then added his two cents with a negligent shrug of his shoulders, "Yeah, at best Xander's only mostly dead, kind of like in the Princess Bride with that Miracle Max guy or with the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail where the guy says, "I'm not dead yet, I feel like taking a walk."" Andrew stated, getting really excited the more he talked and basically ended up geeking-out and babbled, "Besides, Xander's too cute to die!" Andrew looked around excited to see if the others agreed with him, and then it slowly dawned on him what he had just said.

The gang including Jonathan slowly turned to look at Andrew, tears now forgotten and Jonathan took a slow step away from Andrew.

"Um, I was pointing to the fact that Xander is obviously the main character… yeah, um, I'm going to go to class now." Andrew stated wide eyed, before abruptly and awkwardly fleeing the library. Considering school was out for the day, Andrew's excuse wasn't fooling anybody.

It was silent for a few moments, until Willow wiped her eyes and looked up at Jonathan with the beginnings of hope in her eyes.

"Really, Xander's going to be ok?" Willow questioned hesitantly.

"Yep, I'm sure of it." Jonathan nodded while he moved over to the table and tsk tsk'd at the damage that had been done to the rare comic books. Jonathan ignored the Scoobies while he tried to delicately soak up the tears from the comic books with a napkin that had come with the donuts that he and Andrew had brought that morning.

Almost negligently Jonathan added, "If Superman can come back from the grave, then Xander can easily. That portal looked a lot like the transportation portals that Xander used to move about, and he used a black portal to move himself around when he was just in his black nano-clank armor." Jonathan reminded the Scoobies before continuing on. "I'm sure that right about now he's waking up from going into one of his Lazarus Pit Vats to find that he's perfectly healthy and only as insane as usual; it's not like he didn't already have the urge to conquer the world anyway so he should be just fine." Jonathan finished with a smile as he looked up at Willow and then Buffy.

For the first time since reading issue thirty six of the comic book, Buffy and Willow cracked a smile and hugged each other tightly.

Giles on the other hand just started to chug his scotch. The Librarian would definitely regret it later, but right now he had found out that his son in all but name was alive, and that deserved a celebration.

* * *

Xander slowly returned to the world to realize that he felt kind of stifled. He felt warm and cozy but that there was a muffled feeling to his brain and his entire body felt like it was on pins and needles; the kind of sensation one gets from having your leg fall asleep from sitting on it too long. The pins and needles sensation wasn't restricted to one limb though, but seemed to cover his entire body. Slowly opening his eyes, the world around Xander was blurry, though he could see the distinctive mass of wavy blonde hair cascading off of the head of the girl that was leaning over him.

Xander smiled and tried to fight through his muffled thoughts as he felt like he was waking up from a deep dream.

"I had the strangest dream Buffy that you were dressed up like a Victorian woman and that I dusted Spike and Angel with flaming marshmallows only to end up in this weird universe where I was this mad scientist dictator with the urge to conquer the world." Xander started to say as he blinked his eyes to clear the blurry sensation and stretched. He felt the distinctive weight of two bodies on his left and right shoulders and as the pins and needles sensation cleared he felt satin sheets and stocking clad legs curled over his bare hips from both sides.

'_He boss, the things you're saying just don't compute with the things we're feeling.'_ A voice said in the back of Xander's mind.

Xander paused and then his eyes snapped wide open.

'_And you were there, and you were there, and Toto!' _Xander's inner voice of insanity stated as it skipped by, only to stop and pick up a little black dog that the voice of insanity stuck in a whicker picnic basket before skipping off on a yellow brick road that led into the inner recesses of Xander's mind.

Xander looked up at the ceiling and saw the ornate surface of his bedroom from his Romanian Castle, aka Bob. A smile shot across Xander's face and he crooked his head to look down at his chest where the blonde and brunette heads of Tara and Dora were looking up at him with equally large smiles; both of them dressed up like nurses in little short tight outfits that showed off more than they hid.

"YAY! HAPPY DAY! It wasn't a dream." Xander stated excitedly as he pulled Tara up for a deep kiss before switching to Dora. Both minions moaned into the lips of their Master.

"Ahem." A clearing of the throat pulled Xander away from his quest for life, liberty and the pursuit of a happy with his female minions.

Xander looked up from the girls, who refused to stop clinging to him, and noticed that Igor, Magda, Cassy and Jenny were all in the room smiling at Xander. In addition to the 'family,' Xander's metal pet Krosp the mechanical cat was present; curled up on a large red fluffy pillow with gold tassels that matched the color of Krosp's burnished metal hide.

"Welcome back sir." Igor stated resolutely with his very staid face and emotionless voice, as if the Master Heterodyne dying and being brought back to life was a common every day occurrence.

Jenny and Cassandra, formerly Cassandra Cain but now Kalderash, dived into the bed to get their own hugs from Xander whose modesty was protected by his sheets. Xander gave Jenny a hug and a searing kiss and then a familial hug and a kiss on the forehead for Cassandra. Xander then turned to look up at Igor from the comfortable position of being dog piled by feminine flesh.

"What did I miss?" Xander questioned with a lopsided grin on his face.

Igor pressed a button on his ever present data pad and the shades on the palatial bedroom windows rolled themselves up to expose a bright sunny spring morning in the Romanian mountains.

Igor then answered in his same blasé manner, "Sir, You missed your kidneys falling on the floor when we took off your armor, along with your intestines and a good majority of your blood."

Xander blinked and questioned Igor in surprise, "Really?"

"Yes sir, you were mostly dead for at least ten minutes until we could get you cut out of your armor and shoveled into the Lazarus Vats." Igor stated, giving Xander a meaningful look that was about as close to chastisement as Igor would ever get with his Master.

"Eh, I got better." Xander said with a negligent shrug just as a new voice in Xander's head stated in the voice of Darth Vader from the Star Wars movies, _'Yes Xander, join me, and with your strength we can end the destructive conflict that threatens our people and bring order to not only the world, but the entire galaxy.' _

'_Quiet new guy, we'll work on taking over the world and then the galaxy later, but right now Xander has his arms full of girls, and I'm tired of waiting for the harem to start.' _The little voice of Xander's libido chipped in.

'_I find your lack of focus on world conquest… disturbing.' _The Vader voice said in the back of Xander's mind as a black clad Xander with glowing yellow eyes stepped out of the darkness and joined Xander's other voices at the table, finding a seat next to the Primal persona who was busy smoking a cigar.

'_Hello, I believe we were listening to Igor. Now kindly be quiet you two so that Xander can fully focus on the outside world.'_ The voice of reason commanded, and both libido and the urge to conquer shut up.

Xander gave his head a shake, and then with a negligent shrug smiled and gave the girls in his arms a squeeze which elicited several giggles as he stated, "Yep, I feel great, absolutely nothing wrong now."

"Yes sir, but do be more careful with your body next time." Igor requested politely as he ignored his master's attempts to tickle the girls. "It's so hard to find worthy new masters these days and it was a bother having to make sure that we shoveled all your guts into the vat with you. So how was your time playing in hell?" Igor's request made, the Chief Minion transitioned the conversation in a different direction as Igor moved about the room shifting papers and gathering everything Xander would need to catch up on the several days worth of matter's that Xander had missed out on.

Xander reached out an arm from beneath his sister Cassy towards Magda, and the blind elder of Clan Kalderash took it as they both exchanged a squeeze of greeting.

Krosp rose up from his pillow and stretched before padding over to the side of Xander's bed that was closest to Xander, where Xander let go of Magda's hand and reached out and pet his mechanical cat. Soon what sounded like a rumbling motor issued out of Xander's pet as the mechanical cat began to purr.

"It was a good slaughter up until the dying part. But basically it would fit in with your normal Heterodyne adventure. You know, single handedly kill off armies of demons, slay the giant Old One, save the girls and disappear to a new adventure, the usual." Xander answered with his lopsided smirk and a shrug before tickling Cassandra and the other girls around him and making them squeal and dart off the bed. Magda frowned at the mention of the battle with an Old One, as the Gypsy knew exactly what that entailed. However the old woman realized that though she was accepted as adopted family, she was not Xander's mother but rather a guest in his palace and in his country, so she did not mention any of her concerns that there may be some retribution aimed Xander's way due to his actions.

Xander sat up in the bed while Tara and Dora proceeded to tuck the sheets around Xander's waist and fluffed the pillows behind his back so that he could comfortably sit up. Xander gave each a smile as they began to tidy up about the room before walking into Xander's bathroom where the sounds of a bath being drawn issued from.

Xander smiled his thanks to the two girls as they left the bedroom, and he concentrated on flexing and twisting his arms before shaking his legs to try and get the last of the pins and needles sensations out of them.

"What happened while I was gone?" Xander questioned as he focused on opening and closing his fists and then rotated his neck and then torso while mentally querying the nano-clanks in his body.

"Not much sir," Igor began to report before going over to the tapestry on the wall that shivered for a second before turning into a world map that had lots of color coding on it. "We expanded your monopoly on Sparkbucks coffee," Igor continued, and on the map brown circles of control popped up all over the world showing just how far the monopoly had extended.

"Completely took over several underworld syndicates," Igor stated as red dots popped up in Moscow, Kiev and across Eastern Europe. Romania and the areas controlled directly by the Empire of the Leviathan showed a void of organized crime but still a spread of the minion virus as it slowly crept through the country like a red tide on the map. Even now, other areas from Africa to Asia and into Europe showed almost tentacle like corridors where the criminals were beginning to be controlled by Xander… the minion virus was spreading. Xander nodded along as it seemed his plans for fighting crime were working, though the spread of the virus beyond the criminal population still had him internally cringing a bit.

"And we received notices from a few countries that want to join the Empire and be controlled under your magnificent rule; nothing that I didn't expect, Master, as all will eventually come to see you as their proper ruler." The old Chief Minion completed with a bloodthirsty grin that he turned towards Xander while on the map countries controlled by the Empire of the Leviathan were shaded in black. Black lines began to spider out like webs to form connections with other countries which flashed black, highlighting several Baltic States north of Romania which were signing over control to the Leviathan. As Xander watched with a growing smile, the black lines continued to spider off to a scattering of countries all over the world that also started to turn black, from Bialya to a few African countries and even one or two small island countries in the Pacific Ocean. A few details popped up on the wall, a listing of upcoming events regarding official dates of control transfer, and one event stating that the Queen Bee had schedule appointments with the Asian Dictators of North Korea and Myanmar, aka Burma. Xander's smile turned blood thirsty and he was about to speak when the voice of the Castle's AI interrupted him.

"Welcome back Xander, glad to see you in put back together. You look better as a whole rather than imitating a jigsaw puzzle." The voice of Castle Bob sounded and an image of Xander's childhood friend Jesse popped up on a hologram projected out of the wall right next to the map.

Xander smiled, "Hey Bob, how are you holding up?"

"Good." Bob said before adding, "I know you are busy getting filled in by Igor, but I wanted you to know that RedTree is keeping track of the meeting between the Myanmar and North Korean Dictators and the Queen Bee via inserted nano-clanks. She wanted me to tell you that she projects a viral spread of the minion strain at one hundred percent of population of both countries within one week after the meeting with the dictators. You will want to have plans ready for integrating both countries into your service whether directly or in a hidden manner very soon after that." Bob reported.

Xander paused and quirked his head to the side as plans and counters, contingencies and inventories of current projects passed through his head in a blink of an eye. Faster than a super computer Xander had his plans sorted out and smiled at the image of Bob and smiled.

"Got it Bob, thanks for letting me know and please say high to Red for me." Xander stated before turning his attention back to the map.

"Sure thing Xander, RedTree and I are going out for JAVA script later, so I'll be sure to tell her then." Bob said, and if holograms could blush then the AI of Xander's castle would be a shade of Ruby.

Xander gave Bob a genuine smile and winked at his AI. "Good on you for dating RedTree, she's a great gal. Don't worry about me, you go have fun Bob." Xander said in friendly dismissal.

Only Bob didn't disappear, and the image of Bob bit its holographic lip before stating, "Uh, Xander, your Aunt the Chateau told me that she would be testing out her new traps on you the next time you stopped by, and if she was able to kill you then she would be greatly disappointed in you. You may want to look into becoming a bit more death proof."

Xander paled at the thought of the already psycho Chateau trying to kill him more so than the times when he 'exercised' with her in New Mechanicsburg.

"Aye Aye and message definitely received." Xander said with a smaller but slightly worried smile. He thought about what he needed to do, and then shrugged before adding, "I'll make it a priority very soon, but I have a few things to catch up on first." Xander answered before turning towards Igor, "Did we get permission to visit Atlantis?" Xander questioned.

Igor looked at his datapad before nodding to Xander. "Yes Sir, all is set for a meeting with King Orin in two weeks from today."

"Very good." Xander stated with a smile as color peaked back into his cheeks. Xander view was distracted by Tara and Dora strutting out of the bathroom and then pausing with their hands on their hips as they waited for Xander to get done with his work.

Xander smirked at his AI before answering, "I'll talk to you later Bob." Xander finished as the image of Bob waved good bye and allowed Xander to go back to examining the world map.

The brief distraction from the review of the map ended and Xander focused in on one country on the southern German boarder that was blinking black to denote that it wished to join Xander's empire; it was the country of Pokolistan. When Xander saw it, his smile turned feral and his eyes lit with maniacal glee as the voices in his head started thinking up possible new science experiments.

"Is Pokolistan the country that I'm thinking it is?" Xander asked with the large grin splitting his face as Xander addressed his question to Igor, ignoring Tara and Dora who were moving about in ways that kept pulling Xander's attention towards them. Both Jenny and Cassy laughed as they could tell Xander was interested in the conversation with Igor, but that part of Xander's attention kept getting pulled towards the two scantily dressed and high heeled minions that were teasing him.

"If you are thinking that it is the country formerly run by the man who saw himself as the heir of the Kryptonian General Zod, then you would be correct. The Dictator of Pokolistan, also self named General Zod made his country prosper through the use of Kryptonian technology." Igor turned a glare toward Tara and Dora who immediately put on innocent looks that fooled nobody.

The Chief Minion then turned back to face Xander with a grin that matched Xander's. "Pokolistan's envoys were nearly desperate for your rule, as the death of their former dictator has left the country in disrepair without anybody able to understand the Kryptonian technology that kept the country functioning. They came bearing a complete Kryptonian to English translation program along with the promise of the whole country will swear fealty to you and give you all of the left over alien technology, if only you would rule them as you have your other regions."

"Excellent." Xander stated as he drummed his fingers together before himself before breaking out in maniacal laughter, "Bwa ha ha ha ha, bwa ha ha ha, BWA HA HA HA HA HA!" He cackled, and under the power of Xander's Spark the minions in the room soon joined in on the infectious laughter.

It was also telling that the Kalderash had been around Xander and his minions for longer than was generally considered healthy as first Jenny also started chuckling but then was soon laughing insanely right along with Xander and his minions. Magda and Cassy soon fell sway to the infectious laughter, and eventually insane laughter was the only thing that could be heard in the bedroom for several minutes.

Xander stopped laughing abruptly, and the cackling of the minions and the Kalderash women stopped as if on command.

Xander smiled but brought his fist to his mouth as he cleared his throat with a slight cough.

Turning to look at Igor, Xander asked, "How long was I gone from this dimension?"

"Only about three days in hell Sir. But then you were healing in the Lazarus Pit Vat for one day and spent another resting in bed unconscious as your internal-nano clanks did a thorough review, repair and replicate due to your blood loss. In total you have been out of service for five days. You left Monday, and today is Saturday Sir." Igor concisely replied.

"So, not a bad week's worth of work, was it?" Xander asked wryly with a smirk.

"No Sir, all things considering your invasion of hell went rather quickly as far as the time is measured in this dimension." Igor replied before adding, "We will have to see about getting you a better invasion scheduled for the next time so that you can really enjoy it. Please consider taking us along with you next time as well, several of the minions from the olden days really miss being involved in a bloodletting here and again." The Chief Minion finished with a bloodthirsty smile before looking away and making notes on his datapad.

Xander looked at Igor and blinked twice, before shrugging it off as just another quirk of his minions. "Well then I guess my only question remaining is what happened to Circe?"

"Well sir, the capture happened like this…" Igor looked up from his datapad and responded as he began to relay to Xander the fate of the Sorceress.

* * *

Alec was damn frustrated, a frustration that was more than matched by the Amazon Champion Diana of Themyscira, aka Wonder Woman. Last Alec had heard, Wonder Woman had been taking out her frustration on her normal gallery of rogues when they attempted to distract Diana from her quest to find Circe. The villains had realized that maybe it was time to leave Wonder Woman alone for a while after the female villain Cheetah had ended up hogtied with her own tail. However after Dr. Psycho ended up a vegetable in a psych ward after Wonder Woman didn't pull her punch, well basically anybody who had aspirations of killing the Amazon Champion suddenly decided that April was a good time of year to go on a vacation of indeterminate length. Between the Leviathan's forces and the Justice League, Alec and Wonder Woman had outright destroyed two temples to Hecate, found more than thirty magical artifacts created Circe over the year and visited more remote places in the world than the two of them cared to count.

It hadn't been that long really, only three days had passed since the Grey Knight had left for the hell dimension, but based on the information that the Leviathan had given them both Alec and Wonder Woman knew that the missing Amazon tribes could have been stuck in the hell dimension for over a year by the time the Grey Knight arrived to help. The evening after the battle at Ares' sacred spring had been filled with false alarms that ranged from locations such as Fiji and Thailand to Germany and Siberia; in short they needed to regroup because they were having no luck searching for the elusive witch. That's why Alec was headed to the New York City Embassy for the Amazon Nation and home away from home for Wonder Woman. Little did Alec and Diana know, but their luck was about to take a drastic reverse for the better… well at least for the two of them that was. While fate had decided to throw Xander up against an Old One, Lady Luck and her sisters Karma and Irony had decided that Circe had played hide and seek long enough.

A green portal opened and Alec Holland stomped out of it and onto the steps leading up to the landing before the front doors of the Embassy. Still clothed in his officer uniform Alec looked grim as he dwelt on the fact that after all that Xander had done for the former Swamp Thing, Alec seemed to be failing at the one large life or death task that Xander had given him. These were the thoughts that swept through Alec's head as he moved between the pillared columns that lined the threshold into the Amazon Embassy, a heavy gold embossed door leading the way into the Embassy itself.

Alec pushed the door open and stepped through onto gold carpeting that spanned a large white marble waiting room. Along the walls were the patron Goddesses of the Amazons featuring strongly with motifs of Athena's Owl, Artemis's bow and arrows and other symbols of the female goddesses like Hera and Aphrodite. All of this Alec ignored though as he moved swiftly towards the receptionist that sat alone behind a marble desk at the end of the red carpet.

The young petite receptionist seemed to blend into the background in her ordinariness. The receptionist was small, yet tall enough to look over the counter of the desk, cute, but not really attractive enough to draw a second look. The petite middle aged receptionist had brown hair and brown eyes that would blend in with a crowd due to their seeming to have borrowed bits of normal from every other stranger that you would pass on the streets of New York City.

The receptionist smiled at Alec, a real smile that reached her eyes as she politely told him, "I'm sorry sir, but the Embassy is about to close in a few minutes. If you would like to schedule an appointment for our regular hours then I'm sure the staff could help you at that time." The diminutive greeter announced with a wave back towards the door Alec had just entered.

Dr. Alec Holland doffed the uniform cap as he replied with a forced smile as he moved right up to the other side of the counter and only about two foot away from the receptionist on the other side. "Good evening ma'am, I'm sorry to disturb you at closing time but Princess Diana is expecting me. Would you please tell her that Alec Holland from the Empire of the Leviathan is here to see her?"

The secretary looked up at Alec, the smile still on her face as her nose twitched and she nodded, her nose twitching again as she leaned down and pressed a button on a telephone pager system. "Princess Diana, this is Samantha from the front desk. An Alec Holland from the Empire of the Leviathan is here to see you… ACCHOO!" The receptionist wasn't able to finish her statement fully before a huge sneeze escaped her lips.

"Excuse me." The receptionist stated as she let go of the pager button and covered her mouth, just as Alec gave her a polite "Bless you."

"ACCHOOO! ACCHOOO! ACCHOOO!" The secretary immediately sneezed again followed by a second, and then a third violent sneeze.

Alec looked startled as the Secretary's eyes started to water and she continued to violently sneeze. Being a gentleman, Alec darted his hand into the breast pocket of his coat and retrieved his handkerchief and handed it over the counter till it was dangling about three inches from the receptionist who was at this point bent over and constantly sneezing as snot ran from her nose and tears poured from her eyes.

This is the sight that Princess Diana, Ambassador of the Amazon Nation and the hero known as Wonder Woman came upon as she opened the door from the inner portion of the embassy and entered the waiting room.

That's when several things happened all together in a single instant…

Wonder Woman entered the door with a smile of greeting for Alec, only for her eyes to go wide as the receptionist's eyes widened in horror at the green hand that held the clothe right in front of her face.

As Alec reached out with one hand to give the poor girl his handkerchief he reached across the desk with his other hand to help stabilize the young lady who appeared to be struggling to breathe… only for her skin to ripple as her brown hair turned purple and spouted in length as the formerly petite receptionist seemed to grow several feet in a blink of an eye until a buxom six foot tall ethereal beauty was left in the place of the previously bland receptionist.

"CIRCE!" Wonder Woman yelled in surprise as the receptionist that had worked at the embassy for several months changed into her mortal enemy right before the Amazon's eyes.

The former receptionist, and now revealed witch, pushed away from Alec's hands with true fear in her eyes, but her escape was not to be.

Alec's eyes bugged out, but realization donned on him not even a full second later.

With speed granted by Xander's nano-clanks and the inborn power over the Green, the former Swamp Thing was over the desk with hands clasped around the neck of the witch faster than the ancient sorceress could blink.

Wonder Woman watched stunned as Alec leapt over the table and knocked Circe back out of the swiveling office chair, both figures slamming into the ground with Alec's hands tightly wrapped around the evil witch's neck.

Said witch struggled weakly at Alec's hands as her magically gifted super strength seemed to be sucked out of her by his mere touch.

Alec picked Circe up off the ground and slammed her back against the wall behind the receptionist's desk; feminine legs now clothed in ancient looking green robes kicking desperately to try and touch the ground as Alec held the witch well off the ground.

Circe was frightened as she looked down into the eyes of the maliciously smiling green skinned man before her. In a desperate fit, she called upon her powers to curse him.

/"Serpents' bite-grrk!"/ Circe cast, speaking in ancient Greek but was choked out by the man's clenching fist on her airway as she attempted to call upon a classic curse that would see serpents spring from her robes to bite her assailant.

Only nothing happened.

Circe's eyes got larger while Alec's smile became more bloodthirsty, and Wonder Woman was still stunned at the fact that the witch had been hiding right next to her the entire time. Wonder Woman's mind was in turmoil as she realized that all along Circe had been under her nose and hiding in plain sight, no doubt watching and savoring in the sorrow and anger that Wonder Woman felt at not being able to help her people.

"What, Cough, what are you?" Circe choked out as she realized that her powers had totally deserted her in the face of this enemy which she had never seen before.

"Your nightmare." Alec answered evilly, a bit of Xander having worn off on the normally very staid and chaotic-good aligned Swamp Thing. Alec pulled back one hand, still easily pinning the witch to the wall and choking her with his other hand while he showed her his now free fist.

"And what that means to you Circe, is that my body is made up of ninety percent of the plant Ilex aquifolium, otherwise known as Holly." Alec finished as a thin thorn like long sharp protrusion slowly grew out of the middle knuckle of Alec Holland's fist.

Without further ado or warning, Alec slammed the thorn into the side of Circe's neck and eliciting a pained scream that ripped from Circe's mouth as holly laden nano-clanks swarmed into the ancient sorceress's jugular and quickly spread through her body.

Wonder Woman took a step forward as the violent action caught her off guard. However before the Amazon champion could stop him, Alec removed his fist from the witch's neck and dropped the sorceress to the ground where the witch twitched and convulsed on the ground as her Hecate given powers were systematically stripped or blocked from her.

As Wonder Woman watched stunned, and as Alec stood there smiling at completing the quest Xander had given him, Circe's hair lost its purple hue and turned grey. The sorceress's flawless tan skin paled and turned dried and wrinkled, her breasts sagged and her backed stooped as age finally caught up to the evil women who in the legends of the Iliad had turned men to swine and proceeded to eat them with a side order of eggs; for even evil sorceresses liked bacon.

Slowly Diana walked up to stand next to the smirking Alec, unable to draw her eyes away from the changes happening to her long time enemy.

Struggling to do so, Wonder Woman turned her head towards the Leviathan's Officer, "What did you do to her?" Diana asked, almost accusatorily.

Alec gave the Amazon Champion a brief glance out of the corner of his eye but remained smiling down at the now moaning old woman, "The Leviathan asked that we not kill the witch, only cancel the spell. My body is made primarily of plant matter that is shaped by nanotechnology. I had originally thought about calling down a swarm of the same material to capture her, but when we stumbled upon her here it was just as easy to insert my own material into her." He answered, gesturing to the pitiful shape of the once powerful sorceress.

"I have no doubt that she is still immortal, but with my control over plant matter and the technology gifted by the Leviathan, I fully control Circe's powers, and thus control the Sorceress." He finished with a smile, and with a gesture the witch sprang out of her position on the ground to stand ramrod straight before Alec and Wonder Woman; the sorceress groaning in pain at the sudden movement to her now old bones.

Wonder Woman blinked as she tried to take in the full ramifications of what Alec's actions meant. However before she could question anything more or make any demands, he interrupted her thoughts.

"The curse is broken with the capping of Circe's powers, and Themyscira should be returned to you now. I will take the witch back with me to the Empire and I suggest you hurry to your island home as I am sure they will be needing your help after their prolonged stay in the Hell Dimension." Alec stated matter of factly.

Wonder Woman could only nod as the reality of his words settled in, and before Alec could herd Circe through the portal he called, Diana of Themyscira was already sprinting towards the door to the roof of the embassy where she kept her invisible jet.

* * *

Xander stared silently at Igor, his right eyebrow raised and his left lowered as Xander looked at his chief minion with complete incredulity.

Igor looked back at the Master Heterodyne, having fully explained the situation.

Finally Xander broke the silence, "Soooo, you're telling me after all that searching, the witch was hiding out at the embassy just so she could watch Wonder Woman suffer?"

"Yes." Igor answered simply and blandly.

"And now she's at the Arcane University where Alec is forcing Circe to teach classes for our magic users?" Xander asked, his second eyebrow rising to join the other one already raised in surprise.

"Yes" Igor emotionlessly responded again.

There was a pause, and then Xander finally shrugged and smiled, "All righty then, so what's to do next." He finished with a clap of his hands together and rubbed them together; giving Tara and Dora an exaggerated waggling of his eyebrows and a wink at Jenny to imply what, or in this case who, he would like to do next.

"I'm sorry Sir, but there will be no 'Doing' right now, no matter how much the girls would no doubt like it. Your schedule will simply not allow it as you are scheduled to be in your thrown room in fifteen minutes." Igor interrupted Xander's and the girls unspoken wishes, which was accompanied by a series of disappointed "Ahhhh's" from the girls, and a "Shucks" from Xander.

Xander sighed, but hopped out of bed naked and gave a wink to Dora and Tara as they helped him into a clean set of nano-clank clothing while a smirking Jenny covered the eyes of a blushing Cassandra.

Xander smiled and patted the girls on their rear ends and gave each a kiss on the cheek before walking over to Jenny and giving her a kiss also before prying Jenny's hands off of Cassy's eyes and giving his blushing 'sister' another kiss on the forehead before turning to Igor.

"So who will I be seeing in the throne room?" Xander questioned as his nano-clank clothing rippled and flowed up his body until he was fully garbed in a black suit with a blood red tie, black gloves, and a shiny black and featureless helmet.

"The Amazons are here to see you sir." Igor replied simply.

"Really, wait, did you say Amazons, as in plural? How many of them are here to see me?" Xander nodded, before something Igor said caught his attention.

"All of them Sir." Igor answered.

* * *

Humans are creatures of habit and instinct. This is a truth that holds for the largest groupings of humans in cities such as New Delhi or New York, and this is just as true for solitary individuals who live a hermitical lifestyle. Barbarian, civilized, single or grouped, all humans struggle to overcome that which they consider the norm, the habit, or the tradition. This was no less true for the Amazon Nation, a nation once again divided upon its return to its home dimension.

Oh, the Amazons had started out united, that was for sure. Like experiences always have a way of drawing together disparate peoples, and the immortal Amazons of Themyscira and the mortal Amazons of Bana-Mighdall had been equally united when they had been forced to face the demons of hell or perish all together. There is a saying that necessity is the mother of all invention, so for a time the Amazons had invented a united front to stand strong against the forces of evil that populated the Hell Dimension. Now however, back in the real world and without the army of gray skinned demons hanging over their heads, now they were cleaning up the damage and healing the wounds to both the city and to their sisters. This is when another very human trait reared its ugly head, the urge to blame others and hold grudges; something the Amazons were exceedingly good at.

With the flash of light, the destruction of the Old One and the return of the city, the Amazons had been united for the first hour or so as they grieved the loss of the Grey Knight Alexander whom they had jointly dubbed the protector of Amazons and Men. Hippolyta had uttered a decree to the women standing around the courtyard, that forever the Grey Knight would be honored and referred to as Alexander the Protector, and that would be his name in their legends. The Queen had given the sobbing Artemis a brief squeeze on the shoulder, and then returned to her duty of looking to her people. It was just too bad that in Hippolyta's mind her people were the island Amazons, not the lost tribe that had invaded in the dead of night and started the whole fiasco. It was unfortunate, but this then became the belief that niggled in the back of the Themyscirian Amazons' minds as the one who had really initiated the problem was far away, namely Circe, leaving the Bana-Mighdall Amazons as a closer scapegoat with which to take out their displeasure.

No, fights didn't break out, but what started out as a unified front of warrior sisters burying their dead and healing their wounded quickly polarized along tribal lines. The impetus for the divide was startling enough the arrival of Wonder Woman, the Themyscirian Champion and daughter of Queen Hippolyta.

The Themyscirian champion Diana was cheered by her sisters as she arrived and was quickly flocked by the crowds of Amazons from her tribe. Diana told of the final capture of Circe, and in her recitation of the facts her retelling appeared to gloss over the fact that it was really the Leviathan's Officer who was their savior; an officer who was a compatriot of the Leviathan and the Grey Knight. This was perceived as a small slight to the Bana-Mighdall who circled around their tribe's Champion, the Shim-Tar Artemis. Soon whispered statements were circulating through the Bana-Mighdall tribe as they watched the Themyscirian Amazons honor Wonder Woman for saving them when the Bana-Mighdall believed that it was Alexander and the Grey Knight's forces that were the true heroes. In the eyes of the Bana-Mighdall, the Grey Knight's corpse wasn't even cool yet, and here were the Themyscirian Amazons again dishonoring Alexander by ignoring his forces accomplishments and rather choosing the long absent Wonder Woman over the man who had bled and died for them. Add to that the fact that Wonder Woman was the very reason that the city of Bana-Mighdall was destroyed in the first place, and you had a growing feud that would have rivaled any bunch of Hatfield's or McCoy's.

All of these thoughts and actions ramped up the tension as mourning and loss plagued the thoughts of the two tribes, and in the stillness of the Caribbean Sea the Amazons began to focus on the differences between the two tribes rather than the similarities. This grumbling was finally brought to a head by two things.

The first, was the disappearance of the Grey Knight's hydroponics farm/laboratory and almost all of his equipment, which disappeared under a rainbow of colored portals and left the city with less resources than it needed for its current population.

The second, was Hippolyta telling the Bana-Mighdall that they could stay on the island, but that none of the mortal Amazons could actually live in the city. Instead, the Queen of the Amazons relegated the Bana-Mighdall Amazons to the rockiest, most desolate and unforgiving portion of the large island. Hippolyta decreed that though the Bana-Mighdall had defended the city while it was in the Hell Dimension, they could not live there now but rather could take up residence on a part of the island that nobody had ever wanted. The Bana-Mighdall cried foul, and swords, spears and compound bows were jostled as if the war between the tribes was about to break out again.

At this point Artemis had moved forward through the crowd of Bana-Mighdall Amazons until she stood face to face with Wonder Woman and Hippolyta, and with a scowl on her face stated that the Bana-Mighdall would stay for now, but that they would not assist further in the repair of a city they were denied residence in. With a spin that threatened to have her pony tail smack Wonder Woman in the face; Artemis stormed off, leading her people away to the other side of the island along with their dead who they would bury according to their own traditions.

This divided nation, these separated tribes of Amazons is what marched into the throne room of The Leviathan to return the weapons of the Grey Knight, and to honor the loss of Alexander the Protector.

* * *

The tribes of Amazons entered the colossal throne room through the twenty five foot tall giant golden double doors that held an etched and gem bedecked depiction of the bulk and power of the three headed dragon, the symbol of The Leviathan. As the doors opened, the Amazon tribes entered the room in two columns, each column with four Amazons abreast and with a dividing line separating the two tribes as their leaders headed each column; Artemis in the front of the Bana-Mighdall with her sister Dina at her side, and Hippolyta flanked by her two daughters leading the Themyscirian. Both tribes were resplendent in their armor and distinctive clothing, but each tribe was equally full of stunningly beautiful women as the Themyscirian Amazons wore white toga like dresses with gold adornments where as the Bana-Mighdall wore close fitting leather armored outfits that were tight and close cut. The Shim-Tar Artemis looked resplendent as her arms were bare due to the strappy nature of her armor, and her long red hair was clean and cascaded behind her while held in a ponytail. Artemis's status as the champion of the Bana-Mighdall was represented by leather bands on her biceps that were adorned with beading and feathers. Both tribes of Amazons were unarmed.

What greeted the Amazons upon entrance through the large gold doors was a throne room the length and breadth of a football field. A long thick red carpet stretched from the doors right down the center of the shining black floor that appeared to be made of some weird mix of stone or metal. The floor and walls, and in fact the ceiling and all of the columns that lined the red carpet, were of the same black marble like material. Yet unlike stone marble the floor and walls flowed with veins of blue and red energy that seemed to beat and flow as if the Amazons were entering the heart of some giant creature. The room was almost startling simple in its motif, yet the sheer size of it and the almost forest of black columns and walls covered in arterial power conduits was eerily daunting and made all those who looked upon it feel small and weak. The walls seemed to contain long steepled cathedral windows with stained glass that was backlit by what appeared to be sunlight, but the Amazons knew that couldn't be true for they were deep inside the mile long fortress. Images of The Leviathan, both the ruler and the golden dragon symbol, were back lit in the windows and the red glass that outlined the figures cast a noticeable pall of power and intimidation as the light from the stained glass windows seemed to reach towards the figures moving down the carpet in the center of the room.

If the room wasn't intimidating by itself, then the rows of silently standing Dark Trooper armored soldiers lining the walls and the two score of twenty foot tall heavily black armored war clanks, with giant gold triple headed halberds, would have done the trick in causing fear to trickle up the backs of anybody who entered the throne room. However the most intimidating thing about the room was probably the utter silence, the unnerving silence as thousands of eyes silently stared at the marching Amazons as they moved down the carpet. Not a breath was heard from the silent witnesses to the Amazons' arrival, and only the sound of muffled feet on thick carpet carried through the room before quickly being snuffed out due to the shear width and breadth of the throne room.

Everything about the throne room, from the decor to the standing army, spoke to The Leviathan's belief in "Peace Through Power." And centered at the other end of the red carpet on a raised dais and seated on a throne that blended with his suit was The Leviathan himself silently staring from behind his featureless black helmet. The length of the throne room necessitated that the Amazons had to walk the long distance before they could come directly before the Leviathan; a not so subtle psychological and symbolic statement that made the supplicant walk through the veritable army of military might before finally coming before The Leviathan.

As the Amazons drew close, the two tribes of warrior women could start to make out details of the throne and the individuals situated around it. The throne appeared to be one solid block of glistening black metal, yet it was etched and carved with trilobites, three headed dragons and skulls. On the throne was seated the Leviathan, black gloved hands steepled together as he sat casually in his throne; a crimson red cushion padding his chair and his elbows resting on the armrests as he was semi-casually splayed across the seat of his throne. Next to the throne on The Leviathan's right side was an old hunchbacked man wearing crimson red robes that trailed to the floor and were made from multiple layers of black, red and pearl colored silk and other rich fabrics. The old man held a data pad of some sort in his hand, and behind the old man stood two attractive women in more modern business outfits; both the blonde and the brunette were in black business suits with red silk blouses underneath. All three individuals who played witness on the right hand side of The Leviathan's throne had a golden clasp in the shape of a trilobite at their throat and a gold dragon pin on their lapel; the women with black satin chokers for the trilobite clasp, and the old man with a tie clip that covered the knot of his Victorian era looking red silk tie. The left hand side of The Leviathan's throne was almost empty, except for what looked like an unmoving burnished bronze statue of a lion that seemed to stare straight at the warrior women as the Amazons approached the throne.

Finally the long lines of the Amazon tribes fully entered the throne room and it coincided with the moment that leaders of the two tribes reached the bottom of the dais and came to a stop.

All was silent for a moment, but then with a loud thud the twin doors to the throne room closed, causing the Amazons to all startle at the sound. The silence once again returned as Queen Hippolyta waited to be addressed, yet the Leviathan continued to silently stare down at her.

As if at some unspoken command, the Bana-Mighdall Amazons dropped to one knee and bowed their head before The Leviathan, drawing a gasp of outrage from Hippolyta that the other tribe dared to bow before someone other than she their Queen, especially without leave to do so.

Hippolyta took a step forward towards the bowing Artemis, only for Wonder Woman's hand to catch her shoulder and halt the Amazon Queen at the very same time that the deep voice of The Leviathan broke the silence.

"Excellent." The voice from behind the mask echoed out, a deep voice that drew the Themyscirian Amazons' attention and caused the Bana-Mighdall to shiver with a slight form of pleasure as some sort of power issued from The Leviathan.

Xander smiled behind his mask as he called upon the power of the Spark. A little voice inside of him was calling for him to ignore all pretenses and announce himself to Artemis. However the voice of reason and that of Xander's inner Heterodyne read the significance of the divide between the tribes as well as the disparate reactions to coming before the Leviathan. In short, all was not well in the land of Amazons, and perhaps the statesman and tactician in Xander could see an advantage to his people come out of this situation. Oh, he still planned on letting Artemis know who he was, but he would have to move the meeting forward a bit before that happened.

"Excellent." The Spark laden voice stated again from within the mask of the Leviathan before the man continued, "It is nice to see that at least some of the Amazons know how to honor the designer of their salvation."

The hackles on the back of Hippolyta's neck rose at the Leviathan's words, as old grudges cast aside in favor of the male Grey Knight did not extend to the persona of the male Leviathan. Basically, Hippolyta had not learned her lesson about trusting men or treating men as inferior.

"We come here from the Island of Themyscira not to be mocked but to honor the memory of the fallen hero The Grey Knight." Hippolyta stated with a scowl on her face, stepping forward towards the foot of the dais.

Xander made a negligent wave of his glove covered hand, "And yet The Grey Knight went all the way to hell in your defense and was met with nothing but mocking and derision, was he not?" The Leviathan questioned.

Hippolyta's eyes went wide, and she swallowed nervously at the realization that the Leviathan realized how she and her people had treated his envoy. Pulling her royal backbone straight and with tight lips, Hippolyta answered back with all the pull of her royal persona, "That is true… but we apologized to the Grey Knight and seek to honor his sacrifice now." She replied, looking back at the featureless mask with challenge in her eyes and head held high.

"Actually, you never did apologize to him for the slights you and your people did, though you did grant him the gift of a shield for saving your daughter's life. We were able to view the Grey Knight's entire time in the hell dimension when we retrieved his body. I find it most interesting that after giving him the gift of the shield you and your family went on to ignore him until he was needed to save your lives once again. But never the less, how do you seek to honor the Grey Knight's service in saving your lives at the sake of his own." The Leviathan stated and the Themyscirian Amazons released wide eyed gasps at the words of the Leviathan while the Bana-Mighdall bowed their heads slightly lower in shame.

The Leviathan ignored the reaction of the now sputtering Queen Hippolyta and instead reached his hand over to his left and stroked the head of Krosp. To the surprise of the Amazons, what they thought was a statue closed its eyes and pushed its head into the Leviathan's hand as a rumbling sound issued up from the clank's chest. Xander stopped rubbing Krosp's ear, and the large metal cat stretched and yawned, showing an impressive set of fangs that halted Hippolyta just before she was about to scathingly reply to the Leviathan's rebuke. The cat circled in place as if preparing its bed, and then lay down to watch the Amazons, its lion like tail weaving back and forth as it lazily watched the Amazons before the thrown.

Hippolyta was totally thrown off her game by the actions and words of The Leviathan as well as the sight of the statue seemingly coming to life. Finally remembering why she was there, Hippolyta made a motion towards her daughters, and Wonder Woman and Donna walked forward.

Both princesses stopped as they stepped up onto the first step of the dais, the briefest flick of Krosp's metal ears up and towards the two Amazons suggesting that they had moved forward far enough to present the gifts that they carried in their arms.

"From my daughter Diana, I return to you the weapons of the fallen hero the Grey Knight." Hippolyta stated regally as she attempted to seize control of the situation. Hippolyta waved her hand towards Diana, and Wonder Woman folded back the long white silk cloth she was holding to reveal both the Grey Knight's power glaive and the light saber.

Diana nodded her head in a brief show of respect while her face remained emotionless. Xander in his garb as the Leviathan nodded his head slightly, and in turn Wonder Woman set the two weapons down on the second step of the dais and backed up to again flank her mother the Queen.

"And from my daughter Donna, we come bearing a gift not only from the Amazons but also our patron Goddess of the harvest Demeter." Hippolyta announced, and Donna set down a simple two foot square wooden chest that held a gold clasp. "We give to you this ever full chest, as a token of honor to the Grey Knight as it contains what he called manmade Ambrosia."

With that, Donna opened the box to show the Leviathan the contents.

"Twinkies!" Xander said somewhat excitedly from behind his mask, fortunately Jarvis modified the enthusiasm of Xander's voice as it passed out of the helmet, that way it didn't sound like a kid in a candy store and more like a adult man who was pleasantly surprised.

"Blessed be the Twinkies!" The combined nations of the Amazons said as one in reply and bowed their heads slightly.

Silence rained as Xander's eyes goggled wide open behind his mask and he was stunned speechless as the Amazons remained silent and waited for him to respond; Donna returning to her place flanking the Hippolyta.

Finally after almost a minute of Xander staring first at the Twinkies, then back at the Amazons, then back at the Twinkies, he swallowed to clear his throat and answered.

"Ahem. Yes, blessed be the Twinkies." The Leviathan replied. Xander was a bit surprised as the combined parties of both tribes of Amazons nodded, as if that was the expected answer.

Hippolyta nodded her head and stated, "We wish you a good day and will continue to honor the Grey Knight in word and story from this point forward. He shall be known by us as Alexander the Protector or the Grey Knight. We will now take our leave, and if in the future you need of us let us know and we will fulfill our responsibilities under our treaties." Hippolyta stated and turned to leave without so much as a by your leave from The Leviathan.

The Themyscirian Amazons turned, and Xander scowled under his helmet, only to notice that the Bana-Mighdall hadn't moved.

Hippolyta noticed this at the same time and glared at Artemis, "Artemis, your Queen has stated that we will be leaving, now get up out of your shameful expression of bowing to this man and move." Hippolyta demanded; showing once again that her old hatred of men other than The Grey Knight.

"No." Artemis stated clearly, and the Shim-Tar raised angry eyes at Queen Hippolyta before looking beseechingly at The Leviathan and raising up from her knelt position.

"Honorable Leviathan, the Bana-Mighdall request…" Artemis started to say, only for Hippolyta to interrupt.

"You are out of order Amazon, Get move…" Hippolyta began to berate Artemis.

"QUIET!" The bellow from The Leviathan halted Hippolyta mid sentence as Xander yelled with all the power of his Spark.

Hippolyta cringed back, and even Wonder Woman took a step back from where she had automatically moved to protect her Queen when she sensed a threat. Wonder Woman's eyes were suddenly riveted with instinctual fear towards the throne as The Leviathan rose from his seat. The Leviathan stood and seemed to exude power as the leader of the Empire of The Leviathan rose from his chair and moved menacingly down the steps of the dais as if he was some predator moving in for the kill.

Around the room the soldiers lining the walls took a single coordinate step forward and unlimbered weapons while the twenty foot tall guardian war clanks lining the carpets shifted their golden halberds from a single hand to be grasped in two mechanical hands. At this, both tribes of Amazons cringed and gulped as they were simultaneously assaulted by the power of Xander's Spark and the sight of the encroaching forces around them.

"Enough you pompous bigoted excuse for a Queen." The Leviathan commanded before moving down the steps to tower over not only Hippolyta but also stand several inches taller than the Amazon Champion Wonder Woman.

Xander stared down Wonder Woman first as he gritted his teeth with anger, causing Diana to take several hesitant steps back as an almost visual aura of power surrounded the man, causing a visceral need to cower or back down in not only the Amazon champion but also the other Themyscirian Amazons. Several of the white robed Themyscirian Amazons subconsciously fell to their knees in fear at the power of Xander's Spark, and those who remained standing seemed to weave and sway as their instincts told them to run yet they were riveted in place by their fear.

"You will leave my castle and my lands immediately and the only hope for the continuation of the treaty it will be the words of the Bana-Mighdall Amazons, spoken after you leave. We will see after this if our treaty remains whole or ends severed, you dishonorable old shrew." The Leviathan demanded as he wheeled on Hippolyta and made a deft cutting motion with his hand as he stated the threat of breaking the treaty with the unworthy Amazon tribe.

Pointing his black gloved finger at the Queen and seeming to tower over the woman as waves of power seemed to roll off of him, The Leviathan commanded, "You are in my throne room, and in this room I am the only one who can make demands on others. Now get out of my sight." Xander spat out the last part angrily, the heat and anger shining through his voice and the power of his Spark making the Themyscirians start moving before they even realized that they were obeying his command.

Xander waited, breathing heavily in his anger as he watched the Themyscirian Amazons quickly scurry out of the throne room. Two of the giant robotic guards opened the doors and stood sentinel while a platoon of black armored soldiers already waited on the other side of the doors to lead the Amazons out of the Empire of The Leviathan as quickly as possible.

The doors clanged shut on the silently Hippolyta and her tribe, and Xander slowly turned his featureless helmet to gaze upon the Bana-Mighdall Amazons.

Artemis stood staring wide eyed, an instinctual need to immediately submit or back away from the Leviathan was only barely held back by her Amazon pride and warrior ethos.

Xander stared silently at Artemis and the other Bana-Mighdall who looked at him with not just a bit of fear, but he quickly reigned in his anger and mentally commanded his Spark to stop blasting the remaining tribe of Amazons with the urge to submit to his desires.

Xander shook his head and stepped up to face Artemis, a gap of only three feet separating the two as the Shim-Tar looked up into the reflection of her own face mirrored back to her in the featureless helmet of The Leviathan.

In a quiet and caring but strong voice, a voice that carried so that even the Bana-Mighdall in the back could hear, The Leviathan asked, "What is your request Artemis, Shim-Tar of the Bana-Mighdall Amazons?"

Artemis swallowed and pulled up her courage, as not even the Grey Knight going into battle seemed to inspire this instinctive sense of fear and supplication that was only now receding with the Leviathan's anger. A little part of her mind reminded her that the reason for the difference in effects may have been the fact that the Grey Knight had never sought to battle her and her sisters. However Artemis shook off those thoughts to focus on The Leviathan before her.

Gathering her courage, Artemis looked resolutely into the face of the Leviathan and asked clearly, "The Bana-Mighdall have two requests Honorable Leviathan." Artemis started.

Xander waved his hand for her to continue, a part of him wanting to end the charade right now but the other voices stating caution and to take it slow.

Artemis nodded in understanding and continued, "The first request we have is to pay our respects to the body of the Grey Knight, which we assume you have retrieved based on your earlier statement. The second request is to join your nation in service to the purposes of The Grey Knight as he gave his life for our own, and now honor demands that we pledge ours to his goals."

Artemis finished, and to Xander's surprise she dropped to her knees and bowed her head to The Leviathan.

Silence.

Xander was stunned, as in the back of Xander's mind several crickets chirping could be heard in the silence as every single voice in Xander's mind went slack jawed at what they had just heard and seen.

Xander blinked, and looked down at the bowing Artemis, he was so stunned that he had to blink again before he realized that all of the Bana-Mighdall had mirrored Artemis's actions and were also kneeling on both knees and bowing their head to Xander.

Never in Xander's wild imagination had he ever thought that the tribe of men hating Amazons would ever bend their knee to a man, let alone Xander.

'_Even I'm not crazy enough to have seen that one coming.'_ Xander's inner voice of insanity stated, sounding strangely coherent and sober for once.

'_WOOO HOOO! HAREM HAREM, HAREM! At last my prayers have been answered! Blessed be the Twinkies!'_ Finally the voice of Xander's libido woke Xander out of his stunned silence as the little voice in Xander's head jumped up onto the conference room table in Xander's mind and started doing the shuffle.

Xander shook off the mental fog that seemed to catch him.

"Why?" Xander simply questioned from behind his helmet as he looked down at Artemis, then over at the bowing Dina and the other Bana-Mighdall and then back to the Shim Tar.

Artemis looked up at the Leviathan who stood above her, a well groomed eyebrow rising in silent question as to what he meant by "why."

"Why would a tribe of Amazons who hated men with every bone in their bodies want to pledge service under the control of a man?" The Leviathan asked, still quite befuddled with the reaction by the Amazon tribe that probably contained the founding members of the "Man-haters Anonymous" club.

"It's simple," Artemis explained from her position kneeling on the thick soft red carpet, looking up at The Leviathan. "Alexander Harris proved to us that not all men are rapist deceitful pigs, but that there are those men who are honorable and worthy of being followed and trusted. Not only that, but I the Shim-Tar challenged him to single combat and he won." She added, blushing as she recalled him easily tying her up with duct tape.

Xander smirked behind his mask, remembering the incident clearly due to his eidetic memory. However he remained quiet as he listened to Artemis's reasoning.

"It had never been expected before that a man could best our chief warrior in an honor duel, thus whoever could defeat the Shim-Tar in an honor challenge would lead the tribe at the conclusion of the duel." Artemis explained with a shrug, "I challenged him and the Grey Knight won, thus he would actually be the new Shim-Tar. If our Shim-Tar followed you, then we would follow you also as is our way." She finished with a simple rational explanation and looked up patiently at The Leviathan, waiting for his answer.

Xander smiled behind his helmet, his happiness shielded from the eyes of the Amazon tribe that waited to hear his reply. Xander's thoughts flew back and forth inside his head as he silently looked down at Artemis, and as a specific idea blossomed and grew in his mind, his smile grew larger. With the speed of a super computer, thoughts and ideas focused on that one idea, and then percolated the idea until it was complete and the warrior tribe was added as a factor in Xander's future plans.

Finally The Leviathan spoke.

"I accept you into the service of the Empire of the Leviathan and dub you Valkyries from this day forward. In return for your service in protecting humanity from demons and those who would attack the Empire, I will grant to you citizenship on the Grey Island, the floating city so named after The Grey Knight and the future home of you his renamed Valkyries. This Island will be a place of wonder, a floating city which I am building to share the gifts of the Empire with worthy citizens of the world." The Leviathan announced. "You and your tribe will be the first citizens with priority of choice in living spaces, and you will be provided for with all of your wants and needs in return for your gift of service." Xander stated magnanimously, raising his hands out dramatically as Artemis and all of the Bana-Mighdall looked at up at him with growing smiles on their faces as they were presented with a much better deal than they thought they would receive. Ultimately anything was better than the concentration camp like setting that the Themyscirian Amazons would have relegated the Bana-Mighdall tribe into. In a way it also seemed fitting that they give up the name of their former home city, Bana-Mighdall or The Temple of Women when translated, and take a new name that meshed with their new abode.

Artemis's large smile stopped and seemed to waver, and she looked up at the helmet of The Leviathan and hesitantly asked, "And what of our wish to pay respects to the body of The Grey Knight?"

Xander could see Artemis's heart in her eyes as the warrior woman hesitantly asked with eyes that seemed to glisten; it appeared to Xander that she was fighting to hold back tears.

A soft look came to Xander's eyes at the emotion he could read on Artemis's face. So he carefully answered, a bit of playfulness coming forward in his reply but being careful not to hurt the girl who his heart tugged towards.

"It is not possible to pay respects to the body of The Grey Knight." Xander answered from behind his mask, only to note Artemis's head drop and the beginning of tears to seep from her eyes.

"Ah ah, no tears of sadness." Xander said as his hand bent down carefully and lifted Artemis's chin so that she looked up at him, tears starting to trickle from the bowing redhead's eyes and causing Xander's heart to flip-flop as he lifted his hands up to his helmet.

"It's not possible because The Grey Knight isn't dead." Xander finished as he lifted his helmet off, revealing his smiling face to the stunned Amazon's who openly stared in confusion and shock at the man whom they watched die for them not three days prior.

Artemis's jaw worked open and closed as she stared up at Xander and watched as he removed the helmet, the helmet then rippled and melted into his gloved hands.

Tears tumbled from Artemis's eyes and a myriad of emotions flashed across her beautiful face.

Xander smiled with care and love in his eyes, and then a lopsided grin formed on his face.

"Hey Arty, miss me?" Xander jokingly asked with a shrug as he lifted his hands in question.

"You, you… your Alive!" Artemis shouted as she leapt off the ground and into Xander's arms where she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Xander laughed as he caught Artemis, the other Bana-Mighdall Amazons joining in the shout of joy before jumping to their feet and crowding forward around the happy couple.

Xander's only focus however was on Artemis and their kiss.

Tongues dueling, Artemis pulled Alexander's head close to hers, and then stopped abruptly and pulled back and punched Xander's shoulder with a scowl on her face, only to shake her fist in pain from the impact before breaking out in happy tears and going back to kissing Xander.

Xander more felt than heard the other Bana-Mighdall Amazons gathering around and cheering as hands patted him on the shoulder or back, and one brave Amazon even goosed him and winked before getting a playful mock glare from the still deliriously happy Artemis.

Finally Artemis pulled back out of the kiss with a huge smile pasted to her face, but refused to let Alexander go as if he would disappear again if she stopped holding onto him.

"But, but how?" Artemis questioned, taking a moment to wipe the tears from her eyes with the back of one hand while the other continued to cling to Xander.

Xander smiled down at the tall, yet still shorter than him, Artemis. In a voice loud enough for the gathered Amazons, "The rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated." Xander stated in a deep melodramatic fashion, but with a big smile pasted across his face.

Artemis pulled back and gave Xander a confused look, "What?" She questioned, not understanding what he was saying.

This only caused Xander to break out in deep chuckles at the expression on her face, and he hugged her to his chest before letting her stand back.

"Sorry," Xander stated between laughs, his smile reaching his eyes, "I've always wanted to say that."

Artemis frowned, and then punched Xander in the shoulder again, only to once again mutter a curse and shake her fist in pain.

This only caused Xander to laugh again, and turn to clasp hands with the Amazons crowding around him, giving a one armed hug to Dina as Artemis refused to let go of Xander's other arm. Artemis continued to smile as Xander kept one arm wrapped around her in a hug while he proceeded to hug the Amazons around him and then wave at the soldiers along the walls to leave the throne room.

Xander explained as he continued to greet the joy filled gathering of female warriors. "In short, I died, but then I got better." He stated, only to cause Artemis to growl at him with a scowl on her face.

"Hey hey," Xander stated while waving off her anger, "I'm not trying to be vague, but there is a lot to talk about, and I'd prefer to do it over some breakfast rather than standing here in the throne room. I did just wake up from the dead you know." He finished with a wink.

Artemis pulled back and asked, "So you're not only The Grey Knight, but also The Leviathan?"

Xander merely smiled and took Artemis's hand, while waving for Jarvis, Krosp, Dora and Tara to join them as they slowly walked down the carpet to leave the throne room.

"I'll explain everything over breakfast." Xander stated, before raising his voice, "And to top off breakfast, there will be Twinkies for everybody!"

"Blessed be the Twinkies!" The newly dubbed Valkyries shouted in glee.

And in the Castle of The Leviathan there was much rejoicing.

* * *

The remainder of the Saturday was filled with Xander reconnecting after his time away. No matter where Xander went that day Artemis refused to leave his side; still acting as if Xander would disappear the moment she lost sight of him. However it wasn't as if Xander couldn't get anything done as he still found time after, story time with his new tribe of loyal Valkyries, to reintegrated himself with his minions and to find places for the former Bana-Mighdall Amazons to stay among the Jägerkin until the city was completely built.

Now that had been a fun meeting. All it had taken was the beautiful warrior women showing the Jägers what they could do with their trained hands and a few other pointy objects, and suddenly several Jägermonsters started requesting the AValkyries' hands in marriage; both male and female Jäger's that is which was fitting since the former Amazon tribe tended to swing both ways.

One blue furred Jäger succinctly summed up the Jägermonsters' thoughts on the Valkyries. With tears of joy in his big Jäger eyes he stated, "Doz Valkyries arez juzt so prettyz and deadly, it'z like dey arez kittenz madez out of razor bladez!"

Thus the relationship between Xander's new band of warrior women and the existing army of Jägers ended up coming together seamlessly due to mutual respect and a little 'rough housing' between the groups. Housing problem settled for the meantime, Xander was able to change his focus to getting Artemis situated as part of his life; the first part of this entailed Artemis and Xander sitting down and having a talk about his true past.

Xander was trusting this lovely women with a lot of very secret and very personal information. However that didn't seem to be a problem as they found themselves easily communicating with one another due to the bonds forged in the heat of battle and by Artemis and Alexander repeatedly saving each other's lives.

That bond was one major part where Artemis differed from several of the other women in Xander's life. First and foremost, Artemis was a fighter whose primary focus was to perfect her combat skills so as to protect her people. As opposed to Catwoman, who Xander was attracted to for her playful rule-breaking side, or Jenny, who was the brainy sort whom the tech geek in Xander enjoyed, Artemis sang to the part of Xander that sought to protect those he called family, friends or looked after. Tara and Dora had made it clear that they would forever be a part of Xander's life as long as the Master Heterodyne wanted them to be, but that statement in itself made it clear that it wasn't a relationship of equals but one of a Heterodyne with his two devoted minions. As for Zatanna, well the reality was that magic and Xander seemed to mix like cats and a water tank full of piranhas, in short, it wasn't a pretty sight. Given Zatanna's inclinations to attack Xander with magic whenever she felt like it, and added to Xander's clash with the Magi, well Xander pretty much decided that the relationship with the magician just wasn't a good idea.

Finally after much discussion between Artemis and Xander about their relationship and also the future of the new Valkyrie tribe, it was decided. Artemis and Xander would take their relationship one day at a time and learn what the other was like outside of a constant war setting. Added to that, Artemis would remain the immediate leader of the Bana-Mighdall Amazons, now relabeled The Valkyries of The Grey Knight, or simply The Valkyries; a fitting name considering they were a grouping of warrior women whose home was going to be a city in the sky. This last decision necessitated that Artemis and the other Valkyries take a dip in the Lazarus Vats, and the warrior women would spend the rest of the weekend suspended in the green fluid while being pumped full of nano-clanks that would make them heartier than the normal human women and able to fulfill the goals that Xander had in mind for the caretakers of his flying city.

Traditional Bana-Mighdall Amazons were, by selected breeding, of hardier stock than most regular humans. However even with their greater strength, speed and constitution all it would take was for Xander to slip while sparing with, or "sparring" with them, and you would have a situation with Artemis or one of the other new Valkyries being turned into a 'woman of kleenex' versus Xander's super strength. All of Xander's past interaction with humans, and especially women, had been whole hearted but with there always being that voice in the back of Xander's head reminding him that he had to be careful with his super strength and speed. Given that the entire tribe of Valkyries had once again started flirting shamelessly with Xander and generally had decided to pick up where they left off in hell, well if the little voice in the back of Xander's head had anything to say about it then Xander would soon be in bed with at least Artemis if not some or all of her warrior sisters.

That in itself was the funny and confusing part for Xander, as when talk about sex had arisen in Xander's conversation with Artemis she had simply stated, "Yes please, and lots of it." The Valkyrie tribe as a whole had been Amazons of the city of Bana-Mighdall, which meant that they had a tradition as warrior women who took men for slaves and coupled with each other or their slaves whenever they chose; there were no blushing vestal virgins with 'do not enter signs' in that tribe. After Artemis explained this to Xander, right as she was visibly checking out Tara and Dora, it soon became clear to him that he was in for some interesting times ahead, and the little voice of his libido just might get that harem he was always yelling about.

A side item but equally important to learn about his new tribe of Valkyries was that they were still a tribe that refused to be second best to any man. This had caused some problems in discussions after Xander introduced the idea of the bodily upgrades, but ultimately Artemis grudgingly agreed with Xander when he stated that he wasn't going to share all of the nano-clank given skills and powers that he utilized. Following that ultimatum, Xander had taken Artemis down to the medical suites of the fortress and they had worked out an agreement on power buff's that Xander would grant the Valkyries. The warrior women would defend his city and be loyal to The Grey Knight, and in return Xander would give the women nano-clanks that granted superior health, strength and speed, as well as enough Nth Metal so that they could each fly. Ultimately the new tribe of Valkyries would be able to go toe to toe with a Jäger and have a good chance of winning, but whereas the Jägerkin could take more damage and heal faster than the Valkyries, the Valkyries were more mobile and had superior speed.

Thus on that late Saturday afternoon, Artemis and her rechristen tribe took a soak in green goo, the Jägers talked excitedly of playing with the "pretty goylz and sharpz obzjectz," and Cassy waited by the tank for her new best friend Dina to finish getting upgraded. While this was all going on, Jenny and Magda were busy tailoring the next steps of vengeance against Lex Luthor, and Xander turned his focus partially towards Pokolistan and primarily on a certain debt that he owed to a fifth dimensional imp.

With that pranking debt to Mister Mxyzptlk in mind, Xander stood typing at a holographic keyboard in a laboratory filled full of miscellaneous gadgets and gizmos, chemicals and wires, and the occasional small woodland animal as he cackled to himself, "On the first day of pranking, I did give to thee, one heads up warning. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha."

Xander cackled to himself madly with a gleam in his eye as he fired off his email, the recipient being a mild mannered reporter that worked at the Daily Planet in Metropolis City, USA.

"It's better if they have some form of heads up, so that they can stew in anticipation." Xander finished talking out loud to himself before rubbing his hands together gleefully and turning to his work bench. Soon a pair of welding goggles were strapped over Xander's eyes as he twisted the realms of science and brought forth things that should not have been created on God's green Earth.

As science and the laws of the universe cried for their mommy, a certain super hero who wore his underwear on the outside felt a chill shoot down his back and quickly looked around as he hovered over the city of Metropolis; Superman swore it felt like somebody had just walked over his grave.

Ultimately, Metropolis would never be the same again...

* * *

**AN: There you go for the follow up to the epic length chapter. I know it wasn't nearly as long as the 35k monstrosity, but those large chapters will only ever happen when big events are building up to a close. Thus you must be content with more quick updates that average in size 13K or more… that's right, SUFFER Reader, I curse you with more chapters on a faster update schedule! BWA HA HA HA HA… wait, what? Um, ok, so one of my readers has just informed me that more updates on a more regular basis isn't a bad thing. Drat, now what am I supposed to torture you with?**

**This chapter was different than the high action previous one but it was in no way filler. Also of good news is that I have all of chapter 38 already outlined and a good chunk of it completely written. That said, please let me know your thoughts on this chapter as well as any zany ideas you have for future activities. Reviews, recommendations and letters are ever so uplifting and I really appreciate all of the ones you have written in the past and continue to send me, thank you. Cheers!**


	38. Chapter 38: Of Pranks and Payback

**Spark of Genius**

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: ****Ok, ****special ****thanks ****goes ****to Hasty ****who ****bit ****the ****bullet ****and ****offered ****his ****services ****as ****Beta****reader ****for ****this ****story. ****Thanks ****also ****go ****to ****those ****of ****you ****who ****dropped ****me ****ideas, ****reviews ****and ****recommendations, ****several ****of ****which ****were ****very ****inspiring ****for ****new ****ideas ****or ****had ****me ****thinking ****more ****deeply ****about ****several ****character ****relationships ****and ****background ****plots. ****So, ****we****'****ve ****had ****war ****and ****combat, ****we ****then ****had ****drama ****and ****politics, ****and ****now ****we ****finally ****get ****back ****to ****crazy ****insane ****stunts ****and ****all ****out ****Sparky ****madness. ****Let ****the ****games ****begin! ****Bwa ****ha ****ha ****ha ****ha ****ha****…**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 38: Of Pranks and Payback**

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late. ~Jack Handey

Monday morning dawned bright and early for the Man of Steel. Much like the rest of the world, Superman' woke up to the sound of his radio alarm broadcasting the news followed by one of those annoying radio talk shows that can't help but wake you up due to shear irritation. This was followed by a quick shower, and I'm talking super speed shower here, followed by the other two S's of the morning chores; also done at super speed but with a mirror and heat vision in order to shave rather than with a razor blade. Yes, Clark Kent was a happy man that morning as he went about his normal ablutions. The gift of super speed enabled Clark to get those extra few hours of sleep before he had put on his simple pair of glasses, his incredibly effective alter ego disguise, and then headed out the door and into the beautiful Metropolis spring morning on his way to the Daily Planet.

As he walked, Clark pulled out the personal electronic device provided by the Daily Planet in order to check his morning emails; Clark smiled to himself while nodding in greeting to the joggers passing by or to the kids running to the bus stop on their way to school in the city.

"Hmmm, spam, spam, spam," Clark said to himself as he scrolled through the emails he had received over the weekend. "An email from Lois regarding an Arms Expo being put on by Lex Luthor, I guess I'll have to stop another of his nefarious plans again," Clark stated quietly as he got to his bus stop and waited by himself for the number 5 bus to reach his stop to take him to the square where the Daily Planet building was located.

The bus pulled up and Clark continued to concentrate on his PED and the emails contained within as he boarded the bus on autopilot, showed his pass to the bus driver and then decided to stand rather than take a seat that one of the other passengers could use.

As the bus pulled away from the curb and into the Monday morning Metropolis traffic, a specific email caught his attention. _'__Hmmm, __what__'__s __this?__'_ Clark thought to himself as he saw an email from an address labeled "fairwarning at sparkyscience dot com." The email was simply labeled, "BWA HA HA HA HA!"

Clark silently read to himself as he opened the email and found that it only had one sentence in it, "Let the Fun begin! Bwa Ha Ha Ha Ha!" Clark frowned in confusion, looked up from his PED and looked around and then shook his head as he pressed the delete key.

"It's just spam." Clark mumbled before putting the device away in his pocket and looking up, he had reached his stop right on time.

Clark smiled to himself; his day was going great so far.

The disguised Superman stepped off the bus, walked across the street towards the Daily Planet and entered the building.

This is when Clark Kent's day started to go to hell in a handbasket.

The news room of the Daily Planet was absolutely silent, as if Clark's coworkers were afraid to breathe too loudly for fear of some unknown force. A palpable air of foreboding seemed to cover the news room in a miasma of fear as Clark's coworkers quickly scurried from the computer to the printers and then quickly ran back to their cubicles as if hiding from the oncoming apocalypse.

Well, in truth only half of Clark's coworkers were scurrying to hide, the male portion of the staff that is. The other half of the Daily Planet's work staff, the female portion, appeared to be on the war path as staffers and journalists alike angrily slammed their work around on their desks, and high heeled shoes clicked on the hard tile floors of the news room with all of the sound and fury of military jackboots.

Clark quickly looked around for the source of disruption as he slowly and carefully made his way towards his cubicle. Perry, the editor of the Daily Planet, had his door firmly closed and the blinds covered the glass windows as Clark's x-ray vision told him that the older journalist had bunkered down in the safety of his office. Eyes continuing to dart back and forth, sweeping for some hidden danger, the disguised Kal-El noticed that Jimmy Olson had hidden himself behind as many piles of paper as he could and was trying to duck behind said piles.

One of Clark's female co-workers turned the corner in front of Clark, and he gave her a smile of greeting, only to receive a glare that seemed to be powered by the fires of hell as she stormed past. Clark gulped and turned to scan after her to see if his x-ray vision could get a hint of what was wrong.

'_No __sign __of __an __alien __parasite __taking __control __of __her, __can__'__t __see __through __the __underwear __or __bra __for __some __reason, __no __unusual __devices __implanted, __I __can__'__t __figure __out __what __is - __wait __a __second, __I __can__'__t __see __through __that __underwear __or __bra.__'_ Clark thought the last part in alarm as his x-ray vision pretty much gave him an unfettered view of any human. The only thing that Clark couldn't see through with his x-ray vision was lead or other substantially dense materials.

That's when the sense of foreboding sent tingles down his spine, and just when his Kryptonian senses were tingling the proverbial heavenly messenger of doom stomped up and met him at the entrance to his cubicle; it was Lois Lane, and she looked seriously ticked off.

"Just what do you think you are doing?" Lois hissed in anger, the fury in her eyes seeking to eviscerate her boyfriend where he stood.

Clark paled and looked at Lois as she pushed her way into his personal space and backed him up into his cubicle. Clark could stare down new gods such as Darkseid, wrestle with monsters and villains like Grundy, was invincible to bullets and explosives, but Lois Lane on the warpath scared the crap out of him.

"Wha, What do you mean what am I thinking, um, doing?" Clark questioned hesitantly as he backed up until his knees met his seat and he sat down quickly, now looking up at the very angry Lois Lane. A little thought trickled through his mind that his girlfriend was damn hot when she was angry, but he realized it would probably be a bad time to tell her that.

"As if you don't know!" Lois spat as she thrust a folded piece of nicely embossed paper at her boyfriend Clark Kent, whom she knew was also Superman.

Clark unfolded the note and read the contents, the color draining from his face as he read lower on the document:

"Lovely ladies of the Daily Planet, are you tired of our city's hero Superman staring through your clothing? Wait, you didn't realize that a hero who travels all the way to Amsterdam to visit the brothels probably uses his other powers for perverted purposes? I ask you, what are you doing about his x-ray vision? Are you giving our city's protector a private peepshow without realizing it? Well then, we here at the Acme Underwear Company are proud to announce our new line of lead infused panties and bras. Perfectly safe from lead contamination, our underwear protects you not only from UV rays to those sensitive areas, but also from the peeping of the city's Super-Pervert. As a gift to our fair reporters of the city and due to your continued interactions with the hero, we would like to offer you this complimentary pair of lead lined underwear and bra. Remember, Acme Underwear's lead lined series of panties and bras, 'We Keep the Pervert from Peeping through your Panties!'"

"Oh crap." Clark said wide eyed as he looked up from the letter to Lois.

"Crap is right, as in Superman will be up to his eyeballs in Crap if HE doesn't get the message to stop peaking! And I mean immediately." Lois stated, one hand in a fist on her hip as her other well manicured hand had a finger pointed right between Clark's eyes.

"That letter came with a free pair of lead lined underwear, and every one of the female reporters here received it first thing this morning. I expect Superman to get this message immediately and deal with it." She stated while punctuating her statement by poking him in the forehead. "Otherwise you and me will be having words tonight." Lois threatened while putting emphasis on the word "Superman" as she thrust her pointing finger two inches from Clark's nose.

Clark Kent found himself cross-eyed as he stared at the perfectly painted nail of Lois Lane that was pointing between his eyes. He got the message loud and clear.

Lois swiveled on her foot and tromped away, but before she fully left his cubical she said, "Don't make me contact Ma Kent, and I will if Superman doesn't get the message ASAP." Lois threatened, and if it was possible Clark paled even more and gulped in fear.

Continuing to stare wide eyed at the angrily retreating Lois, Clark remembered the email he had received that morning and thought to himself, _'__Maybe__that__email__wasn__'__t__spam__after__all__…'_

An angry Lois was frightening, the possibility of Ma Kent being angry at him was terrifying, but the worst thing of all was that it was only Monday morning and he had a feeling that his suffering wasn't anywhere close to being complete.

* * *

While it was Monday morning for Superman in Metropolis, it was already Monday afternoon in Romania, and Xander had already spent multiple hours prepping for the next day's prank on Superman.

Having completed the laboratory work of welding the frames together and installing the electronic packages, followed by a fluffy furry outer layer, the prank was ready and currently having the last step completed for the Tuesday prank.

Xander sat smirking in his office chair staring at the latest object to come from his insanity. Xander had created a monstrosity, and he loved it.

With a gleam in his eye and an insane smirk on his face Xander cackled madly, "Mwa ha ha ha ha, BWA HA HA HA HA!"

The small seemingly demonically cute device opened its eyes and cackled back at Xander, "Mwa ha ha ha, BWA HA HA HA HA HA!" The little device imitated Xander's laugh in a high pitched evil sounding laugh as it continued to blink its big cute eyes and laugh back at Xander in trained insanity.

"Hello my pretty, Bwa HA Ha HA HA!" Xander continued to laugh as he tipped back his head and laughed towards the ceiling of his large office.

"My pretty, BWA HA HA HA, MWA HA HA HA HA Hello my pretty." It cackled back, only making Xander laugh louder in maniacal glee.

Soon the only sound in the office was Xander's loud evil sounding laugh, a laugh that was mirrored back at him in a higher pitched voice.

The prank was ready, and for this one Xander had called upon the pure power of his inner insanity. From the depths of Xander's twisted mind, in a place in the back of Xander's brain where colors tasted like kumquats and the sky was the sound of puce, came the next part of Xander's dastardly plan for Superman as Xander brought to life a creation that should never have seen the light of day.

Into the DC Universe Xander introduced an agent of entropy, of chaos and a madness inducing mix of cute and cuddly meshed with pure creepy.

Xander had created the Furby doll.

* * *

Lois Lane woke up in her apartment in the middle of the night with the feeling that she was being watched.

Blinking her eyes, Lois struggled to fully wake up from her deep sleep, only to feel a slight weight on her chest. Almost as if something was laying on top of the beds covers.

Lois's eyes shot wide open, only to come face to face with a pair of glowing green eyes that were perched a mere five inches from her face.

"Hello my pretty! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" a high pitched voice sounded from right in front of her face, a glowing beak and eyes seeming to stare into her soul as it cackled madly in almost a twisted parody on a child's voice.

"AIEEEEEEEE!" Lois screamed and flailed, launching the glowing eyed little creature up off the covers of the bed that she was alone in and across her bedroom.

Flailing like crazy, Lois's hand shot out for her bedside stand and flipped on the light in wild eyed terror, only to illuminate a room absolutely covered in little fuzzy creatures.

The bedside stands, the book shelves, the small desk in the left corner of the room, on top of the dresser, on the armoire and peaking out of the cupboards and closet, everywhere she looked were little furred doll like creatures with little beaks, pointy fuzzy ears and closed eyes.

With the flip of the light switch and the sound of Lois's scream, thousands of little eyes opened as if waking from their sleep… thousands of little eyes that stared right at Lois Lane.

"EEEEEEEEEEEE!" Lois screamed in fear as she scooched back as far as she could in her bed and pulled her sheets to her chest.

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" A thousand little high pitched voices screamed right back at Lois.

Thus began a series of screams, Lois would scream in fear, the little fuzzy dolls' eyes would open in wide fear and scream right back at her, only to cause Lois Lane to scream louder.

Also adding to her mind blowing fear, every now and the Furbies would start laughing like maniacs, and the constant scream of "EEEEEEEEE!" was prefaced by statements of "Hello My Pretty!" as well as "BWA HA HA HA HA HA" or "MWA HA HA HA HA!"

This is what Superman found as Clark Kent heard Lois's distinctive scream from clear across town, causing him to quickly change into his costume and zip across town faster than a speeding bullet.

Superman burst through Lois's bedroom door sending the door flying in a cloud of wood splinters only for Kal-El to stop at the sight of a thousand miniature fuzzy toys screaming and laughing at his girlfriend. Superman didn't know what to do, as he stood their stunned as Lois to scream right back at the toys, which then screamed in reply.

As Superman stared at his girlfriend, and then the toys, each seeming to take turns screaming at each other, he was at a loss on what to do.

Lois's scared eyes moved to take in her boyfriend standing in the door, and she was up and off the bed in a leap towards the safety of his arms where Superman caught her before she could hit the floor.

When none of the Furby dolls moved to look at where Lois had gone to, Clark realized that there was no real threat here. Just irritation as the thousands of high pitched screaming and laughing voices was kind of like nails on a chalk board to his highly sensitive Kryptonian ears.

"There there Lois, there's nothing to worry about, it's probably just another prank played at my expense." Clark stated as he comforted his girlfriend in his arms, realizing that the prank was probably along the lines of the lead underwear provided by a company that, according to his research, didn't actually exist.

Lois stopped shaking in his arms as Superman's words filtered through her shock at waking up with thousands of little creatures looking and screaming at her.

Lois blinked, and that was when Clark Kent was witness to another example of how Lois Lane could go from zero to ticked off in no time flat.

"You mean this is a prank that was actually targeted at you?" Lois asked from Superman's arms, a strangely quiet and emotionless sounding voice coming from his girlfriend.

"Yes." Kal-El answered simply, scanning around the room and realizing that the little fuzzy dolls were just mechanical creatures with some electrical relays in them. In his detailed examination of the toys, he didn't hear the warning in her voice.

"This is all your fault!" Lois snapped angrily, releasing her hold on Superman and storming past him heading towards her apartment's kitchen in her pajamas.

"Wait, what?" Clark questioned while blinking as Lois's female logic filtered through his head and then right out the other ear.

"Yes, your fault. If it wasn't for you playing hero then I wouldn't be waking up at," Lois paused in her rant as she pushed the start button on her coffee maker and looked at the time it read as her Sparkbucks coffee started to brew. "Then I would have had to wake up at three o'clock in the morning!" She ranted, hands gesturing threateningly before being planted on her hips.

Superman turned from looking at the Furby dolls to glance quizzically, one eyebrow raised in confusion as he tried to clarify. "So let me get this right, all the times Lex Luthor, Toy Man or one of the other villains targeted you while perpetrating a crime, it's their fault when I have to save you. But this time you get pranked as part of somebody teasing me, and it's my fault?"

"EXACTLY!" Lois yelled back at him with an angry look before turning back to her Sparkbucks brand instant coffee maker and pouring herself a cup.

Clark just shook his head and rolled his eyes in frustration at his girlfriend's logic while she was looking down at her coffee pot.

"And don't you roll your eyes at me Clark Kent." Lois said without even looking up at him.

Clark's eyes went wide as he thought_ '__How __the __hell __did __she __know __that? __It__'__s __like __she__'__s __taking __lessons __from __Ma __Kent __or __something.__'_

"And don't even think about me with that tone either! I still haven't decided if I'm going to call your mother on these problems or not." Lois snapped as she stirred sugar into her coffee and added some cream.

"But, but honey…" Clark pleadingly stated stepping forward towards his girlfriend with his arms out; her seeming ability to read his thoughts with her women's intuition scaring the crap out of him.

"Don't you but honey me Clark." Lois stated as she turned to look at him with angry eyes as she continued to stir her coffee before taking a sip. Unfortunately even the perfection that was Sparkbucks coffee couldn't cut her ire.

"Now clean up my room and repair the door, and then you and I are going to have a long talk about the types of villains you have been interfering with recently." She commanded as she walked imperiously into her living room and sat down on her couch and waited for him to get busy.

"But…" Superman started to plead with his girlfriend, only for Lois's glare to shut him up.

Superman's shoulder slumped as he replied, "Yes Dear." and turned to start tidying up her bedroom.

'_I__'__ll __keep __one __of __these __and __give __it __to __Batman __for __analysis.__' _Clark thought as he quickly blurred about the room picking up the fuzzy dolls. As he cleaned up the room, Superman noted that the name "Furby Dolls" was machine printed on the bottom of every toy.

Clark quickly zipped about Lois's bedroom picking up the toys and then bringing them back to his own apartment before returning to try and finish up his chore.

"None of the other heroes have to deal with this type of crap." Superman mumbled quietly under his breath as he went about fixing the door.

"I heard that!" Lois snapped from the other room.

Superman's shoulders slumped further and his head drooped as he continued to do what his girlfriend told him to. Thus the Man of Steel with the backbone of Playdough patiently received a tongue lashing from his girlfriend, while in the back of his mind he cursed that the week was still only starting and didn't look to be getting better any time soon.

* * *

Meanwhile in Pokolistan the sun was just rising on that Tuesday morning and with the dawning of the new day the streets of the capital city were lined with cheering throngs as red portals snapped to life in the middle of the capital city's thoroughfare.

The Leviathan had arrived to take control of the Pokolistan.

The Leviathan floated out of the giant red portal in a standing position, a good twenty feet off the ground and hovering right out of the middle of the fifty foot wide by one hundred foot tall red portal. The crowds went wild, cheering as their new Dictator arrived to save their country from its current dismal existence.

Out of the portal beneath The Leviathan marched rank after rank of DarkTrooper armored Jägermonsters; marching lock stepped out of the portal and down the street as the Hell March music blasted from thousands of speakers housed on the DarkTrooper armor.

Above the head of The Leviathan exited his top cover; grey armored feminine figures bearing the trilobite and skull motif of the Grey Knight but with the three headed gold dragon on their left pauldron, and these were his Valkyries.

Each Valkyrie wore a matching suit of power armor that looked solid but moved like a skin tight flexible material that seemed to curve and form to their very feminine forms. Golden mirrored view plates covered the face of the helmet and from their armored backs came two sets of multiple blade like projections that looked like some sort of mechanical angel's wing, yet it was clear from how the Valkyries flew that the blades were not used being used as actual wings. In triangular "V" formations the Valkyries exited the portal above The Leviathan and flew forward to scouting positions above the parade path, yet one "V" stayed directly above and slightly behind The Leviathan. This formation of Valkyries was led by a feminine armored figure whose helmet was decorated with a red crest that cascaded backwards as if it was a ponytail of long red hair, and the blade like wings on her back were black in color rather than the usual grey of her sister warriors.

Xander smiled from behind his helmet as he waved to the cheering crowds of Pokolistanies.

"How's it looking up there Artemis?" Xander questioned into his communications system as he waved to his new adoring subjects.

"You're butt is looking as scrumptious as ever from my vantage point." The slightly laughing voice of Artemis said which was then followed by the sound of several laughing female voices as the leader of the Valkyries broadcast in reply to Xander's question and he heard her squad of elite Valkyries laughing in agreement at her quip. The newly christened Valkyries were warrior women in everything that name meant, and bawdy comments and sexual jokes were more common than not among the warrior tribe.

Xander smirked behind his helmet as he continued to focus on waving to the people. Just then, more of his portals opened up in the skies above, and wings of his StarScream fighters arrived in the air above to provide high support while simultaneously, around the small protectorate's boarders, lightning towers seemed to spring out of the ground as the new territory was protected by Xander's defensive systems.

"But seriously," Artemis continued, now being professional as her systems fed back security information to her heads up display of her new Valkyrie armor. "Security checks out as all clear with no visible or hidden threats and all green across the board. Should I send the order to begin the upgrading and integration of the country?" Artemis finished in question; the nano-clank upgrades Xander had given her and the rest of her tribe enabled them to instantly read and understand the information that the power armor suits fed them. The nano-clank systems had in effect quickly upgraded the warrior women into soldiers of the twenty first century and beyond. And in addition to the physical boosts Xander had given every woman warrior the equivalent of a PHD in engineering and several other esoteric fields that would be helpful to their roll in The Leviathan's Empire.

"Go ahead and send the order." Xander commanded from behind his helmet, continuing to wave to the latest grouping of peoples to join his Empire. "RedTree, keep me up to date on the retrieval and integration of the Kryptonian technology. Coordinate with Jarvis and make sure my internal nano-clanks get an immediate upload of everything we learn. I'll need it for my next sortie in pranking Superman." Xander finished with a gleam in his eye and a bloodthirsty grin on his face; while to the outside crowd all they saw was the pleasantly waving Leviathan float down the street at the head of his armed forces.

"Right away Xander," The voice of RedTree replied, just as Artemis started to give out her own orders.

"Red team you have permission to go. Repeat, Red team; go." Artemis commanded into her speakers as she broadcast back to Romania and to the forces that had been awaiting that signal; Xander picked up the broadcast from his master communication suite in his helmet, allowing him to selectively listen into any conversation that utilized his communications systems.

With Artemis's orders more red portals opened up over the buildings on the sides of the streets, and floating clouds of trillions of nano-clanks and waves of billions of little clanks floated out of the portals on their little rocket boots or propelled by little spinning whirly blades. The nano-clanks flowed off in tentacle like wisps that flew through the crowds and scattered through the capital city, systematically beginning the health upgrades and criminal pruning in the population while others flowed across the buildings cleaning and renewing the infrastructure.

Lining the street in front of Xander were dingy weathered buildings that were a mix of Soviet era concrete mixed with metal alloys of Kryptonian design. But as Xander and his forces moved forward they left behind citizens in the prime of health and buildings and infrastructure that shown like new as the little clanks and nano-clanks did their work.

"RedTree here Xander, we've successfully entered all laboratory, science and control structures in the country with our nano and little clanks. We are beginning integration and upload of all Kryptonian technology now." The voice of RedTree sounded in Xander's ear via the communications system in his helmet.

"Excellent." Xander said with an evil smile. "Jarvis, start the live upload to my mind." Xander finished with a command.

"Yes sir," The proper British voice of Xander's AI Jarvis stated, while in Xander's mind's eye lines of data appeared in his mindscape before being rapidly sorted and absorbed as Xander partook of the freshly captured knowledge on Kryptonian technology at a prodigious rate.

Multi-tasking, Xander continued to smile and wave while his mind was busy learning the alien technology. By the end of the day he would be fully ready to implement his next planned prank.

"All is going according to plan, bwa ha ha ha, mwa ha ha ha, BWA HA HA HA HA HA!" Xander cackled to himself while on the outside of Xander's helmet the crowds continued to cheer; blissfully unaware of that their new leader was madly cackling away within the confines of his Leviathan disguise.

* * *

The Fortress of Solitude was one of the last great testaments to the might and power of Krypton and the science that had propelled it into a truly formidable galactic power in its time. The Kryptonians race may have been long gone, but within the confines of the crystalline Fortress the science of Krypton's peoples still lived on; if only in a museum like state. The Fortress was a colossal structure hidden away from the sensor technology of the human nations of Earth, and it had been entirely grown out of a single handheld crystal seed planted by Kal-El, the son of Jor-El and Lara of the Kryptonian House of El.

Kal-El, also known as Clark Kent or Superman, had created the fortress from the crystal that his biological father had planted within the space ship that sent the tiny infant Kal safely to planet Earth. Within that fortress was a copy of Krypton's greatest legacy, the science of the lost planet which was held safely in the heart of the fortress. In truth, it really was a fortress in all the meaning of the word. Mostly empty of living beings, the Fortress of Solitude securely held a museum and a zoo of alien life forms. In addition to the viewing areas, the fortress's only fulltime inhabitants were Superman's pet dog Krypto, the computerized security system and the army of protection/maintenance drones that were state of the art Kryptonian technology. Yes, the Fortress was well protected, but its primary protection wasn't in its security systems or exotic animals. No, the Fortress of Solitude's primary protection was in the fact that not only was it secreted in the Arctic ice, it was that nobody on Earth other than Superman truly understood or could communicate with Kryptonian technology.

Well, that is nobody on Earth but Superman truly understood Kryptonian technology up until roughly 24 hours ago. But seeing how it was now Wednesday morning in the Arctic, and Xander had finished fully integrating his education in Kryptonian technology, well all of those securities that protected the Fortress of Solitude had pretty much just been thrown out the window.

A service drone was floating around the main room of the Fortress of Solitude doing its every day maintenance review. The giant statutes of Jor-El and his wife Lara standing together and holding up a representation of Planet Earth computed as being in perfect order, and the crystalline command console that controlled the entire fortress also computed to be in working order as it sat placed at the base of the statues. However the sudden appearance of a black portal which formed in front of the command console did not compute and the human figure that stepped out of it immediately caused the security protocols to initiate an alarm.

"Alert! Security-" The service drone tried to broadcast, but the figure of the man in Bermuda shorts and a gaudy Hawaiian shirt aimed some sort of remote control at the drone, and suddenly the drone dropped to the ground as it was shut down.

"Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to prank I go." Xander sang to himself as he put the Kryptonian technology based remote control away in one of his pockets of his shorts as he flip flopped his way over to the control consol in his sandals, shorts and glaringly bright orange Hawaiian shirt.

Xander reached into his other pocket and pulled out a crystal that looked as if it was a duplicate of any of the other crystals that made up the Fortress of Solitude's main control console. Xander plugged in his personally designed Kryptonian-compatible-crystal-technology-interface, try saying that five times fast, while whistling a changed version of the song sung by the seven Dwarves from the Disney movie "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."

Xander waited a few moments, just looking around the room and taking it all in while happily whistling away until a musical chime sounded from the consol before him, and suddenly a holographic image of RedTree appeared smiling and floating in the air above the console.

"Hi Xander, I'm finally in." The image of Xander's friend Willow said to him as his AI RedTree gained access to the Fortress of Solitudes computer system and memory core.

"Hey Red, how's it going?" Xander asked with a smile and a wave as he looked up at his friendly AI with a lopsided grin on his face.

"Good now. I'm fully integrated into the technology and am beaming out a copy of everything I can get." Red replied, as lines of code written in the boxy Kryptonian language seemed to appear in the air before the holographic RedTree's eyes.

"Security systems are down and all record of you being here is permanently erased. You should have roughly an hour to get your work done before the hardwired alerts go out to Superman and he arrives to check out the disturbance. Sorry I can't give you any more time than that." The AI finished, looking genuinely sheepish about not being able to give Xander more time to work.

Xander just shrugged and smiled at his computerized friend. "No worries Red, I should be done and out of here in a snap." Xander stated, before snapping his fingers on his right hand.

Red portals appeared in the air around the giant main room of the Fortress, and suddenly literal tons of sand began to pour out of the portals to cover the floor of the fortress ten feet deep in white small grained sand.

Xander smirked and pulled out a long handled rake from his small pocket before he blurred around the room evening out the sand as it poured through the portals. Soon another portal opened up, and a blurred after image of Xander's glow in the dark orange shirt could be seen running in and out of the new portal carrying multiple different items that he set up around the room. A little voice in the back of his head made a mental note that the sound of flip flops running at super speed was still as dorky sounding as regular walking, just sped up a lot.

About five minutes later the giant statues of Superman's parents were surrounded by a ring of sand that sloped down to their feet, just as a new portal opened up and water gushed out to fill the opening in the ring of sand.

Xander stopped his work and took a step back to gaze at his creation, rubbing his chin in thought while leaning on the handle of his rake.

"Hmmm, I know I'm forgetting something." Xander said to himself, before getting an idea and snapping his fingers again while sending a mental command.

The other portals snapped shut, and a new portal opened up over the large pond of water, and suddenly hundreds of goldfish rained out of the air to plop into the water below.

Xander smiled and rubbed his chin again.

"Better, but I'm sure there is something I'm forgetting." Xander said to himself.

"Um, Xander…" The voice of RedTree said hesitantly from Xander's left and slightly behind him at her place hovering over where the command console used to be; that is before it was covered over in sand.

"No, wait a second Red, I know there is something I'm forgetting and it's just about to come to me." Xander said as he looked in front of him at the prank he had set up.

"Um, no, um Xander, you may want to look…" The voice of Red started to say, only to be interrupted by a deep rumbling growl. A growl that was right behind Xander.

"GRRRRRRRRRR" The growl was loud enough to vibrate in Xander's chest.

Xander's eyes went wide as he suddenly realized what he had forgotten.

Letting go of the rake and slowly turning around without making any sudden movements, Xander came face to face with a snarling white dog that was wearing a gold Superman "S" for a dog tag and it had a red "super cape" attached to its collar. Teeth bared in a snarl, the dog was hovering in the air right at the level of Xander's face.

"Crikey, will you get a load of that." The distinctive sounds of an Australian accent issued out of one of the pockets on Xander's pants; apparently these were the shorts that Xander had left his Green Directional device in. "That's a Canis Lupus Kryptonus, very rare and very dangerous, and would you look at the teeth on that one, He's Angry. Woo, Look out over there Mate, Danger, Danger!" The voice of Steve Irwin the late great crocodile hunter sounded out of the speaker of the Green Directional Device in Xander's pocket.

Xander slowly raised his hands up and stepped back slowly. "Um, nice doggy? Good doggy?" Xander hopefully questioned, he really didn't want to hurt the dog as this was supposed to be a fun prank and not a fight. Then again, he really didn't want to find out what a super strength dog bite felt like either.

The dog Krypto's growl got louder and he seemed to bend down as if he was getting ready to pounce from his position floating in the air.

"Um, can't we just be friends?" Xander asked with a smile and a pleading shrug.

Krpyto lunged for Xander, and Xander screamed and took off in a sprint, flip-flops flopping for all they were worth as Xander ran as if for his life.

"AH! Bad doggy, Bad Doggy, can't we all just get along?" Xander yelled as he sprinted circles in a blur around the room, the flying super-dog snapping at Xander behind.

Xander zagged, Krypto zagged.

Xander zigged, Krytpo zigged.

Around and around the room they ran. Xander picking up enough speed that he was off the ground and running circles up and down the walls and ceiling, diving away just in time to miss the snapping jaws that tried to take a piece out of his ass, and all the time screaming his head off.

"Help Help I'm being repressed! Little help here! Little Help, I need HELP!" Xander yelled as he flew through the legs of the two giant statues and tried to duck through a portal he called forth, only to get intercepted by the super fast flying mutt and having to suddenly fly off in another direction.

As Xander ran, flew, ducked and dived around the room trying to get away from Superman's pet dog, RedTree frantically tried to do anything she could do to help.

"Oh uh, on your left! No, your other Left!" RedTree tried to call encouragement to Xander while she attempted to open portals that Xander could escape into only to watch as the super-mutt repeatedly intercepted Xander before he could be saved. Everything would have been easier if Xander would be willing to hurt the dog, but since he wasn't willing to do so Xander was up the proverbial dog-shit creek without a pooper-scooper.

'_Danger __Xander __Harris, __Danger ,__Danger.__' _A voice in Xander's brain yelled, taking on the form of the robot from the Lost in Space TV show.

'_Not __HELPING!__' _Xander mentally screamed, while in his brain his voices furiously tried to come up with a plan.

'_Can__'__t __you __do __something __Primal?__'_ The voice of Reason asked quickly.

The Primal didn't even look up from where he was picking his nails with a knife at the mental conference table. _'__Not __unless __you __want __to __establish __which __one __of __us __is __the __alpha. __Since __the __dog __is __the __only __Kryptonian __mutt __in __existence, __that __makes __it __an __alpha __also, __so __it __would __have __to __be __a __fight __to __the __finish.__'_ The Primal explained in his rumbly voice in Xander's head before giving the voice of Reason a pointed toothed smile.

'_Anybody __else __have __an __idea?__'_ The voice of Reason questioned hopefully, while in the real world Xander continued to run circles through the room, and now through the Zoo wing, and then back into the main chamber with Krypto hot on Xander's tail.

'_Oh! __Oh! __I __have __an __idea, __pick __me!__'_ The voice of insanity said, raising his hand and jumping up and down excitedly.

The voice of Reason looked around hopefully. _'__Anybody __besides __Insanity __have __an __idea?__'_ The voice of Reason questioned.

It was at this point that Xander zigged when he should have zagged, and Xander was nailed by Krypto with all the power of a locomotive as Krypto pounced and knocked Xander out of the air.

Xander hit the sand covered ground with an "OOF" as the air was knocked out of him by the blow, even though his armor system had covered him in time so that he didn't suffer any real injuries.

Xander flipped himself over in the human shaped divot in the sand, only to see Krypto standing over the crater and growling down at Xander's black armored figure.

'_I__'__m __going __to __regret __this, __but __Insanity, __you __have __a __go.'_The voice of Reason stated with a cringe.

Xander realized what insanity wanted to do, and he figured that sometimes crazy works, so he agreed.

'_Yay!__' _Insanity cheered inside Xander's mind, and in the real world Xander snapped his fingers.

Xander looked up…

Krypto looked up to see where his target was looking…

And suddenly above the SuperDog a portal opened, disgorging several tons of processed beef steaks, pork loins and whole chickens which buried Krypto alive.

In the real world Xander smiled behind the protection of his armor as he watched the dog get caught in the tidal-wave of meat. _'__Good __job __insanity.__'_ Xander thought to himself.

'_What?__'_ The voice of Insanity asked; at that point Insanity looked up from where he was busy gazing at his toes with both bare feet on the conference table in Xander's mind.

"Never mind." Xander said to himself with a smile as he stood up out of the crater, just as the head of Krypto poked its way out of the large pile of meat.

Xander stared at Krypto, and Krypto stared back at the black armored figure that had invaded his territory, but brought the gift of meat.

"Ok Krypto, I know you are smart enough to understand me so here's the deal." Xander stated, and his armor rippled until it returned to its form as a Hawaiian shirt, shorts and flip flops.

The dog Krypto quirked his head to the side, as if waiting to hear what this intruder had to say.

Xander smiled at the dog's actions and continued, "I promise that what I've done here isn't going to directly hurt you or Superman. And I'll let you keep all of this meat if you let me go without a fight. Ok?" Xander finished, and waited for some response from Krypto.

Krypto stared at Xander, and Xander stared back while waiting.

"Woof." Finally Krypto barked, and then ignored Xander while concentrating on disappearing back into the pile of meat that shifted and slowly started to shrink.

Xander smirked to himself, and zipped out of the hole in the sand.

Quickly evening the sand out again, Xander flew over to where the consol was located and dug his arm into the sand until he felt the crystal he had brought with him. With a yank, the hologram of RedTree disappeared as Xander removed his interface crystal.

A quick pat on the sand to settle it down again, and Xander grabbed his rake and then disappeared into a black portal with a smirk on his face.

* * *

Twenty minutes later an alarm went off on Superman's watch as he worked quietly at the Daily Planet. All of the men who were employed there were also working away quietly; none of them wanting to draw the attention of their still quietly fuming female coworkers.

Looking around carefully Clark Kent realized that Lois was distracted with a phone call, so he quietly disappeared in a blur out the door before anybody could tell he had left.

Less than a minute later Superman arrived at the secret side entrance to his Fortress of Solitude and cautiously entered, keeping a look out for the intruder that his security systems warned him about.

Slowly flying through the secret entrance that led through the zoo and the museum, Kal-El noticed that nothing looked out of place.

Slowly, ever so slowly and carefully, Superman moved through the Fortress. The entrance hall was ok, the laboratories and robotic suites were ok, it wasn't until he reached the central chamber that he found anything amiss, but when he did, boy was it amiss.

Apparently it was Luau season in the Arctic fortress for everywhere Superman looked was sand, palm trees, water and grass skirts. The scariest part about the grass skirts was that every one of them was being worn by a manikin.

A manikin that looked exactly like Lex Luthor to be exact.

To Superman's right a mechanical Lex Luthor played a ukulele while hula dancing in a grass skirt and Hawaiian shirt, to his left, two mechanical Lex Luthor manikins twirled fire torches, and on the other side of the pond that covered the statutes of his parent's feet was a Lex Luthor standing in front of a BBQ with a shirt that proclaimed, "Please Kiss The Cook." Everywhere else pairs and groupings of Lex Luthor manikins appeared to be chatting and drinking beer together, and all those smiling Luthor faces, Brrrr, it just put a shiver down Superman's back.

"Buuuuuuuurrrp," Rumbled out from behind the leg of one of his parent's statutes, and Superman quickly darted around to the other side of his new indoor beach until he could see what was there.

Looking like some sort of albino baby hippopotamus was Krypto, bloated and lying on his back with his legs sticking up in the air and belly bulging.

Clark frowned and looked around the room, realizing that once again he had been pranked.

"Lot of good you did fearless protector." Clark groused at his dog.

"Woof!" Krypto answered, only to pant up at Superman while not even deigning to move in reply, only a doggy grin smirking back at his owner.

"Maybe Wonder Woman was right, maybe I should have gotten a cat." Superman said under his breath as he shook his head and looked around, trying to figure out the best place to start in cleaning up the mess and realizing that the pond was even full of live gold fish.

"Grrrrrr." Krypto growled back at the disparaging statement, but still refused to move while the multiple tons of meat digested its way through his belly. Just for that statement, Krypto decided he was going to hide his super poop under Clark's coffee table at Superman's apartment.

Clark just shook his head and grumbled to himself as he got to work cleaning up the mess, not realizing that his last comment to Krypto meant that the mess would be extended to Clark's Metropolis apartment.

* * *

Thursday was miraculously uneventful for Superman, well, except for cleaning up the poop under his table. Clark had gone out of his way to bring donuts in for all of his coworkers, Perry got a box of Cuban cigars that Clark just "happened to have," and Lois's cubical got filled with fresh cut roses; plucked fresh and purchased from the rose fields outside Quito Ecuador and shipped in fresh by way of Superman-Air.

All in all, Clark Kent had a good Thursday. He had a good lunch with Lois at that French bistro she enjoyed, at which point she admitted to loving him again and they kissed and made up. Clark even had a chance to let off some frustration; he foiled two bank robberies, saved everybody in that burning orphanage, and was able to still be home in time to make an Italian dinner for Lois and he by candle light followed by an evening of super-nookie.

Yes. Thursday had turned out really well, and it looked like Superman would even get a good night's sleep that night. Further, what with the LexCorp Arms Expo being canceled for Friday, it looked like the rest of Clark's week was going to be good as well.

Clark Kent couldn't help thinking to himself that he should have been pranked that day, and that he should look out for something on Friday. However as Superman reached over and turned out the light and then spooned up behind the lovely backside of his girlfriend Lois Lane, Clark couldn't help thinking that everything was going to work out just fine.

* * *

Little did Superman know, however, but the reason that his Thursday had gone so well was because Xander had shifted his activities towards another target for the day; a target that Xander held true ire towards.

In the very early hours of Thursday morning, about the time that people refer to as O'Dark thirty, flashes of light snapped all across Metropolis. One flash of light happened in that dingy abandoned warehouse down by the Metropolis Docks, and another on the opposite side of town in the basement of a large mansion on the cliffs of the sea. The same thing happened in a hanger at the International Airport, and one at the private Airport. The Naval station, the Army Base, the commercial holding areas, dance clubs, mom and pop shops, warehouses of all shapes and sizes, big businesses and medium businesses, Skyscrapers and underground bunkers, and all locations were affected by the bright flashes of light. The lights flashed all together at the very same time all across Metropolis and then disappeared with a snapping sound before once again the leaving the night in silence. There didn't seem to be a rhyme or reason as almost random buildings and locations were affected.

However the key word was "almost," for every one of those locations had one thing in common. Every single place where a light flashed had a connection with Lex Luthor.

At exactly eleven o'clock that same Thursday morning, Lex Luthor stood in black martial arts pants sans shirt while partaking in his morning martial arts workout. Four men wearing black belts and white gi's stood around Lex until with an unspoken command they all attacked Lex simultaneously. It was a virtual slaughter as the billionaire scientist and industrialist proceeded to brutally toss his attackers around like so many ragdolls.

With a final shoulder throw and a vicious punch to the nose of his last downed opponent, Lex Luthor smirked to himself as he heard the wood and paper door to his private dojo quietly slide open behind him.

"This better be important. You're interrupting my fun time." Lex stated with a smirk on his face as he stood up and kicked his downed opponent in the ribs.

"It is important." The voice of Mercy, Lex Luthor's chauffer, bodyguard and henchwoman all-in-one stated as she walked into the room in her tailored grey chauffer's uniform; ignoring the groaning men scattered about the floor.

Lex turned his back to her and walked over to a stand on the side of the room where he picked up a towel and wiped his face, bald head and then his chest before draping the towel around his shoulders.

With a smirk on his face he moved towards Mercy while casually ordering, "Get rid of these jokers, they barely made me raise a sweat." Lex commanded before reaching out for the binder of paper that Mercy silently handed him.

Lex Luthor paged through the report, his frown growing as he read through the contents. He totally ignored the big black suited bodyguards that entered the room at Mercy's direction to remove his former sparing partners. That's what Lex paid them for, so why should he pay any attention to them when they were just doing what he paid them to do?

"Shit." Lex cursed as he read further into the papers, his frown growing into an outright scowl until he threw the binder over his shoulder to release a flurry of floating papers as he yelled, "FUCK!" and threw his hands in the air.

Pacing across the room, ignoring Marcy while he thought, Lex Luthor paced back and forth mumbling to himself, cursing loudly every now and then.

Mercy just patiently and blandly waited for her boss to stop and tell her what he wanted her to do. She didn't really care what he ordered her to do; she never really had before and wouldn't start now. She had killed for Lex, stolen for him, and those were some of the more "honest" things that she did for her boss. Lex had taken her off the streets and out of the poorest of the poor section of Metropolis's Skid Row, and for that Mercy was loyal to the man. Besides, he paid well.

Finally Lex stopped his pacing and turned to address Mercy. "Mercy, are you sure all of the weapons stashes were taken? Really sure? Several of those warehouses were to be transferred to interested parties during tomorrow's expo." Lex asked, a scowl painted across his face and lines creasing his bald forehead.

"Yes I'm sure." Mercy answered succinctly. "I even checked the secret locker you had installed in the basement of my apartment complex, it was totally bare." Mercy reported.

"Damn." Lex cursed as he began to pace again, only to stop and go wide eyed as he realized something.

"They wouldn't dare…" Lex's voice trailed off as he sprinted out the door of the dojo, through the length of his mansion and into his personal bedroom. Mercy trailed behind her boss, keeping up as he quickly ran through the mansion.

Mercy entered the master bedroom to see Lex Luthor approach one of the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves that lined one of the room's walls. Mercy watched as Lex leaned forward and pulled on the spine of the biography of J. Robert Oppenheimer, a book that Lex liked not only for its scientific significance but more so because of Oppenheimer's quote; "Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds" when the man had created the atomic bomb.

At Lex's tug, the bookshelf shifted and slid into the floor to reveal a giant lead lined door with a keypad that was embossed with glowing green rocks, kryptonite to be exact.

Quickly plugging in a sixty eight digit code from memory, the keypad slid away to reveal a biometric scanner which Lex put his hand on, the scanner then slid away to reveal an iris scanner which also slid away when Lex looked into it.

With a "pop –hiss" the giant door unlocked with the sound of large metal bolts sliding free before the door swung inwards to reveal a large room.

The light turned on… and there, where Lex's pride and joy should have been. Where the war-suit that was capable of battling Superman should have rested, was nothing.

Lex was about to scream in rage, but then he noticed a small piece of paper situated on the floor next to the rack that should have housed his green colored and kryptonite powered war suit.

Stomping into the room in growing rage, Lex leaned down and swooped up the piece of paper and read it.

"YOINK! It's mine now Lex. Goodbye for now, and thanks for all the fish, or, at least thanks for all the toys." The note read cryptically enough.

Still, in the mind of Lex Luthor, there was only one enemy daring enough to taunt him, only one enemy who was a match for the power and genius that was Lex Luthor. There was only one man whom Lex Luthor could blame for this catastrophe, who he always blamed for every catastrophe in his life.

With a bellow of rage and fists raised to the sky as he crumpled the note in his hand Lex Luthor screamed out, "SUPERMAN!"

And at the Daily Planet Clark Kent sneezed, right before smiling as he finished his Thursday article early and decided that it was the perfect time to take Lois out to an early lunch at that French Bistro she liked.

* * *

Friday was a long but good day at work for Clark Kent. Because the LexCorp Arms Expo had been canceled, for no stated reason, Perry had shifted around the reporters to find different topics to include in the next day's newspaper. After a joking comment by Lois about Clark being from Farmville, which she said was the same difference when he corrected her that he was from Smallville, Perry had decided to assign Clark to the county fair and 4H event. Lois on the other hand was assigned to cover the legislative meeting for the city council.

What Lois had jokingly meant as sticking Clark with the worse of the two jobs actually turned out pretty good for Clark as he not only got a chance to roll up his sleeves and show off his cow milking skills at the 4H event, but he also was chosen to fill in as a judge for the pie baking contest. This had led to Clark being able to tease Lois back at the office when she finally got back to the Daily Planet after the eight hour debate on whether or not to increase the size of the city's main sewage lines. Clark had playfully shown off his new trophy on his desk for winning the hotdog eating contest at that year's fair whereas all Lois wanted to do was kick off her heels and chug some Sparkbucks coffee after her incredibly boring afternoon.

Still, Clark was a good sport and after he finished his article by four, he spent a few more hours helping Lois out with her article so that she could finish up before six o'clock and the deadline for that day's articles.

Thus with a smile on his face Clark gave Lois a kiss goodnight and they departed for their separate apartments for the evening; Clark hopped the bus that would take him a few blocks away to his sky-rise apartment.

After about thirty minutes of the bus driving through traffic and making a few stops Clark's bus pulled up to his stop and he hopped off with a smile and a wave to the bus driver as he helped an older lady off the tall step from the bus to the curb. Then with his briefcase and hat in hand, Clark thanked the doorman and made his way to his apartment door on the top floor, right as his cell phone rang.

Without looking at the number Clark pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and answered it while trying to juggle his keys, briefcase and hat.

"This is Clark." He answered, pinching his phone to his shoulder by cricking his neck to the side so that he could use two hands to juggle his stuff and open the door at the same time.

"Give me back my car." A deep gravelly voice growled into the phone.

"Wait, what?" Clark stated into the phone as he looked confused, still fumbling with the keys to his door.

It took a second, but finally Clark Kent recognized the voice of the billionaire playboy from Gotham.

"Bruce, is that you?" Clark questioned, finally finding the right key on his keychain as it was hidden by Clark's keys for the Daily Planet office.

"My car, I want it back." The voice of Batman growled out of the phone.

Clark frowned and finally unlocked the door before pushing it open.

"Bruce, I don't know what you're talking about, I don't have your car… oh poop." Clark started to deny all knowledge of Bruce Wayne's missing car, only to open the door to his apartment and turn on the light; which was the point when the boy scout Clark Kent semi-cursed.

There sitting in the middle of Clark Kent's large living room, with part of it extending into the dining area, was the Batmobile.

Clark Kent's eyes went large and he quickly slammed the door shut behind him so that any neighbors that happened to pass by in the hall didn't see the Dark Knight's well known vehicle sitting in the middle of Clark's apartment.

Clark was stunned, his furniture was all piled to the side and it left enough room for the Batmobile to extend through his living room and partially into Clark's dining room where the table had been turned on its side so that there was enough room for the swept back bat like wings and rocket engine.

A growling sound came from the speaker of Clark's cell phone, and Superman realized that his phone was dangling in his hand limply by his side.

Clark snatched the phone back to his ear.

"Bruce, why is your CAR, your special CAR in my apartment?" Clark questioned with confusion clearly pasted across his face, and when he said the word "CAR" you could clearly hear the capitalization in the word.

"Because you took it!" The Dark Knight growled in return.

"What?" Clark asked confused back into the phone before continuing. "I was at the county fair all day; I even won the hot dog eating contest." Superman said the first thing that came to his mind that would prove his alibi.

There was silence from the other end of the phone for several moments.

Finally Batman responded, "Fine, I believe you. Now bring me back my car."

Clark walked around the large black vehicle sitting in his apartment and sighed as he realized he had been pranked again, and he didn't have an easy way to get the Batmobile out of the room without taking it totally apart or busting down the wall of his apartment building.

Finally Superman replied, "Ok, I'll try and figure out a way to get you your car, but you're going to need to analyze a Furby doll for me so we can figure out who pranked us." Kal-El responded.

"Ok, I'll see you in a few minutes… wait, what's a Furby doll?" Came the gruff reply from Batman, only to be cut off as Superman hung up on the caped crusader.

Clark just stood staring at the Batmobile for a moment before shaking his head in frustration.

"Damn, well there goes the good ending to my week." Clark said before taking off his tie and rolling up his sleeves. "It's a good thing Pa taught me how to take apart and put together all of those cars and tractors, the Batmobile shouldn't be too much more difficult."

The reality of the situation would soon hit Superman as he repeatedly had to pull and plug in wires in a special order so that the damn car wouldn't self destruct on him. Two hours of speed mechanic work later, the Batmobile was finally back home in its cave in Gotham; back, but still in pieces.

Along with the pieces of the Batmobile were two Justice League members who were grumbling about the Bat-cave's security camera system clearly showing somebody looking exactly like Superman stealing the Batmobile piece by piece.

Neither Batman nor Superman would get a lot of sleep that night, while Superman put Batman's car back together again, and Batman played with Superman's doll… Furby… whatever.

* * *

Saturday morning dawned bright and early in Metropolis just about the same time that Friday morning had rolled around the previous day. The main difference between Friday morning and Saturday morning, at least where Superman was concerned, was that on Friday morning Clark was just waking up at dawn from a great night's sleep, but on Saturday morning he was just going to bed at dawn.

With a tired yawn after hiding his super-suit in the hidden room behind his closet, Clark Kent flopped into bed and threw a pillow over his head as he grumbled, "Good thing this is a Saturday and I don't have to go into work, these pranks are starting to wear me out."

With that, the sounds of muffled breathing was heard as Clark Kent drifted off to sleep after a long night.

Three hours later, just as Clark was getting to a particularly good part in his dream where Lois Lane and Wonder Woman decided to share him, he was startled out of bed by the screeching sound of one of his alarm whistles blaring.

Clark shot out of bed and blurred into his secret room to return and dive out the apartment window in his Superman uniform, for only his closest friends and loved ones had been given the special watches that would call Superman in their time of need.

Faster than a speeding bullet, Superman homed in on the subsonic warning sound and zipped across the city in a red and blue blur that left a contrail across the Metropolis sky.

"There's the source." Kal-El said to himself as he realized that the whistle was coming from the playground of Metropolis central park and darted down to check out the scene.

It was only when Superman was floating over the large sandbox with the jungle gym in the middle of it did he realize that there was no source of worry.

There was no super villain, no alien invasion, no giant blob from beneath the earth, there wasn't even a little Timmy who had fallen down a well let alone Lois Lane or Jimmy Olsen in trouble.

Looking around in confusion, Superman was startled again when the shrill sound of his signature warning whistle hit him again from no more than fifty feet below him. Looking down in surprise, Superman saw a bunch of kids crowded around a pole, and the cutest little girl with ringlets in her blonde hair and a pink dress was bulging out her cheeks before blowing as hard as she could on a red whistle that only Superman could hear.

Clark covered his ears in pain, and flew down slowly to the group of kids who were all pointing at him and cheering.

"Superman! It's Superman! You really came, you did you did!" They cheered and all crowded around him and reached out hands to tug on his cape or smile up at him while asking for airplane rides or if they ate their vegetables would they really be strong like him some day.

"Wait wait wait, one at a time please." Superman stated with a smile, only to cringe as the cute little girl blew the whistle again that was chained to the pole stuck in the sand.

Kal-El covered his ears until the little girl ran out of air and stopped blowing the whistle. When she had stopped, he turned to her and politely asked.

"Would you stop blowing that whistle please?" Superman asked the little girl politely as he bent down to her level.

"Why?" The little cute girl asked in what sounded like the most innocent question in the world before taking a big breath and preparing to blow the whistle again.

Superman's eyes grew large and he quickly, but carefully, wrapped his hands around the whistle so that the girl ended up slobbering on the back of his hand rather than blowing the whistle at point blank range.

The little girl looked up from where she had slobbered on his hands, and gave him the cutest little glare and pout with her arms crossed over her chest as she let go of the whistle.

"Why are you being a meany and not letting me blow the whistle?" The little girl asked in a huff, and the kids that were gathered around quieted down to hear the answer.

Clark looked around him at the little kids that all assumed pouty faces and imitated the little girl's crossed arms.

Kal-El smiled gently at them and answered, "Because I'm the only one who can hear that whistle, and I thought somebody needed me to help them."

"But that's why we blew it." The girl stated, big blue eyes rolling with exasperation as if he said the silliest thing in the world. "The sign says right there to blow the whistle if you need Superman."

Sure enough, Clark turned and on the top of the pole that the whistle was chained to was a sign that said, "In case of needing Superman, blow whistle."

Kal-El stared at the sign, realized that he had been pranked again and then with a huff sighed to himself and shook his head before pasting a smile on his face and looking back at the little girl and asking, "Ok, so I'm here now. What did you need help with?" He asked politely.

The little girl looked down at her feet and put her hands behind her back as she tipped forward and back on the heels of her little black patented leather shoes. "Well uh, Timmy said we should get some Ice Cream from the Ice Cream man over there." The little girl quickly explained between hemming and hawing as she shyly explained and then pointed about one hundred feet away where a big tall man with glasses and wearing a white dairyman's uniform was taking money and handing out ice cream cones from a white cooler cart.

Clark brought his attention back to the girl as he realized she wasn't done talking, "So then Julie told Danny, Timmy and Eric that we didn't have any money for ice cream, but I said there is the sign over there and mommy always says that Superman is a nice man and that I can trust him so I thought that Superman might buy us ice cream if we called him and asked him really nicely so Pleeeeeeeaaasseee will you buy us ice cream? Pretty please with a cherry on top and whipped cream and all those sprinkles and stuff?" The little girl finished pleading, and then the other kids surrounding Superman all started begging with long drawn out pleases.

Superman looked around smiling at the kids as they jumped around and begged him to buy them ice cream.

Finally with a smile Kal-El acquiesced to their pleas, "Ok, ok ok already, I'll buy you ice cream."

"Yay!" All the kids cheered in joy, jumping up and down or clapping as they ran off toward the ice cream man, and the little girl grabbed Superman's hand and tried to jerk him to get him to follow along faster.

Superman smiled down at the little girl before sweeping her off the ground and plopping her down on his right shoulder before reaching out with his left hand and snapping the whistle off of the chain before crushing the whistle into dust. The little blonde girl cheered and giggled in joy as Superman carried her as they followed behind the screaming and whooping group of little boys and girls that were running towards the ice cream man.

Finally Kal-El reached the ice cream man just as the man handed a large chocolate covered ice cream bar to a girl that was holding a beautiful redhead's hand.

"And what do you say to the man Helen?" Superman heard the redhead ask as he and his swarm of kids arrived to crowd around the ice cream cart.

"Thank you sir!" The little girl holding the woman's hand stated.

"Good, now come along," The woman stated as she turned, only to see Superman. "Oh my, Superman." She said with a smile that almost looked like a smirk as she continued to hold onto the hand of the little girl next to her.

"Morning Ma'am." Superman said with a polite smile before turning to face the ice cream man who was looking at Superman with a big smile on his face, "Morning sir." Superman continued in greeting to the dairy treats man.

"Wow, it's you, your Superman!" The Dairy man said before reaching out a hand to vigorously shake Superman's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you in person Superman, a real pleasure." The ice cream man said with a big smile on his face while pumping Superman's hand up and down, only to pause for a moment and shake his head before smiling and letting go of Kal-El's hand.

"So what can I get you and your friends Superman?" The dairy treats man asked with a huge smile on his face.

Kal-El returned the smile and bantered back, "It's a pleasure to meet you too sir, and that's a good grip you've got there." Superman jokingly stated while looking down at the kids around him and not noticing the slight twitch on the face of the ice cream man's face.

"I'd like to buy ice cream treats for all my friends here." Superman said as he looked up at the girl on his shoulder and settled her down among her friends as the kids started yelling out the flavors of ice cream that they wanted.

By the time Superman looked up again, the ice cream man was all smiles.

"It's all the dairy I eat, makes the body strong," The ice cream man stated before fulfilling the requests that the kids were yelling out. No matter how strange or specific the requested ice cream they wanted, the dairy treat man seemed to have that exact thing in his ice cream cart.

Finally the ice cream man finished handing out ice cream and then addressed the kids, "Now what do you say to the nice Superman for buying you ice cream?" The dairy man questioned.

"Thanks Superman!" The kids all yelled together.

"That will be fifty dollars please." The ice cream man said with a smile towards Superman, a brief glimmer of glee passing through the dairy man's eyes as he saw Superman cringe for a moment before pulling out several bills from the back of Superman's red briefs.

"Here you go." Superman said as he handed over a fifty dollar bill before smiling back at the ice cream man and then turning towards the kids.

"Ok kids, you have a good day." Superman said with a smile before looking to the sky.

"Bye Superman!" The kids all cried out together as if they had practiced it before.

"Up up and away!" Superman cried, and then with a mighty leap he jumped into the air and then darted away to disappear from view.

The ice cream man smiled, the red head smiled, and the kids all smiled until all of their smiles turned devious and quite a bit blood thirsty as they looked at each other and then broke out in laughter.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" They all laughed together before stopping abruptly when the ice cream man stopped laughing.

Removing his glasses, Xander closed his eyes and rubbed his nose where the cheap pieces of window pane glasses had pinched.

"Did you get what you wanted?" Artemis asked with a smirk on her lips and a hand on her hip as she patted the little girl on the head for a good job well done.

Xander opened his eyes and looked at Artemis, and then his smile turned into a leer as he looked her up and down with a gleam in his eye.

"Yes, yes I think I did." Xander replied with a naughty grin on his face.

Artemis smirked back at him and cocked her hip to the side, "Like what you see?" She playfully asked.

"Yep." Xander happily replied, "X-Ray vision, got to love it. Though when I shook his hand and was hit with the increased hearing it took me a moment to get it under control; I was worried I botched it when he mentioned me squeezing his hand harder than most people." Xander continued as he blinked several times as he turned off his newly stolen power.

"Well no worries, it seemed you were right about those glasses. I can't believe anybody could be fooled by a simple pair of glasses." Artemis finished with a wry shake of her head at the simple stupidity of normally very bright people.

"I know what you mean, but I figured if he thought it was a good disguise then it would work equally well against him. After I ran into Wonder Woman in India on League business, I thought it would be better to have some sort of disguise," Xander finished as he pulled several hidden levers on the ice cream cart and it collapsed and folded itself into a block no bigger than a rubik's cube which Xander then put into his deep pockets.

"Dr. Alexander." A young voice from behind Xander called to him and pulled his attention around until he faced the little girl with blonde hair that had so masterfully played Superman.

"Yes Susan?" Xander asked with a smile on his face.

"Did you get the powers you wanted to sample Sir?" Susan asked politely as she looked up at whom she believed to be the head scientist on The Leviathan's projects.

"Yes, yes I think I did." Xander answered with a smile as he seemed to gaze out into the distance with his head cocked to the side, only to look back down at the little girl and nod with a smile.

"Including the bullet proof powers?" Susan asked politely in her little girl voice, the rest of her 'friends' gathered behind her as she was obviously the leader of the group.

Xander crouched down to match Susan's height so that she wouldn't have to strain her neck to look up at him.

"No Susan, I didn't. I didn't want to copy his DNA as that would be the requirement to gain the invulnerability. Besides, his Kryptonian DNA is subject to way too many known and easily accessible vulnerabilities, it seems like Kryptonite is practically sold in the corner stores or something it's so common these days." Xander answered with a smile on his face.

One little boy in the back raised his hand, but it was Susan who waved him to speak, "Dr. Alexander, it actually is sold in the corner stores back in the Empire." The boy added helpfully with a smile and a rapid nod.

Susan turned to look at Xander and quirked her head to the side in thought, the blonde ringlets bouncing and seeming to exude incredible cuteness with every move of her little head. "So if I understand the mechanism right, the Kryptonian DNA must grant some form of molecular density shielding that enables him to be bullet proof, additionally increased by the stored solar radiation which creates a shield above his skintight uniform… hmm the formation of the molecule must be such that it is disturbed by the radiation expelled by the Kryptonite, correct?"

Xander's smile grew larger as he nodded, "Exactly, that is mine and the Leviathan's hypothesis as well." Xander agreed.

"Good." Susan nodded while sending her curls bouncing again before giving Xander a serious look, "So our part of the bargain is complete, so now you will include me and my team on the construction project for the Grey City?" Susan questioned while crossing her arms as she tried to look daunting.

Xander controlled his urge to laugh as the team of child geniuses from his Empire all crossed their arms and nodded.

"Yes, I'll keep my word. You will all be on the team to build the new city." Xander replied with a smile as the kids all broke into smiles and cheers.

"Besides!" Xander stated, loud enough to be heard over the cheering of the children and to draw their attention back to him and then repeated his previous statement. "Besides, it was your team that figured out that the laws of gravity functioned differently in the dimensional pocket. It was your work that ensured that The Leviathan wouldn't have to waste all of his Nth Metal supplies on building the city." Xander said with a gleam in his eye as he stood up and finished addressing the children.

"In addition to that, I have it on good authority that The Leviathan was impressed with your work and wanted you to not only to help with the city, but also to help finish up the work on the new Castle Wulfenbach airship." Xander said with a wink.

All the kids gasped, and then with huge smiles on their faces they started jumping up and down in the air and screaming in joy. The screams of joy quickly devolved into technological discussions across multiple fields of science, each of the children excitedly discussing what they would add to the soon to be Embassy of the Empire to the United States. One boy looked excited and shouted that he was going to be able to build that new death ray assembly he had been dreaming of, while a little girl said her biological manipulation program had created just the right tentacle monster whose purple spots would really liven up the color scheme for the floating castle.

As Xander listened in to the kids rapid fire discussions he thought it was funny how you could put the mad science into the child, but you couldn't take the child out of the mad scientist. This was proven especially true when one of the young girls started to go off on a tangent about flying flesh eating ponies that could double as unwelcome visitor management.

Shaking his head in wry amusement, Xander yelled over the sound of the children scientists, "Ok you scamps, back to your laboratories with you. Science waits for no one!" Xander finished dramatically and struck a pose while triggering a portal next to him.

The children all cheered in joy and ran through the portal headed back to Romania and The Empire of The Leviathan.

The portal snapped shut and Xander let go of his dramatic pose before chuckling to himself and turning to look at Artemis.

Artemis smirked at him as she stood there in the sunny spring morning with one hand cocked on her hip as both her and Xander's clothing rippled and flowed until he was left standing in a bright red Hawaiian shirt and jeans and she was in a long sleeved green turtleneck and black slacks.

"Having fun are we?" Artemis asked as she came up and took the elbow that Xander offered her.

"Absolutely." Xander said with a smirk as the two started walking down the surprisingly empty paths of Metropolis's Central Park. "After all, it's not every day that I get to prank Superman, steal several of his superpowers, help corrupt the next generation of mad scientists, and then have a picnic lunch with a lovely lady." Xander continued, only to snap his fingers and catch the picnic basket that appeared before it could hit the ground.

Artemis raised an eyebrow at Xander's theatrics. She had only been around his "real" self for about a week but she was already getting to the point where she was hardly surprised by the wild things he seemed to pull out of midair.

"Smooth." Artemis said with a wink and a kiss on his cheek before letting go of Xander's elbow and sauntering ahead in front of him with a sway in her hips.

Looking back over her shoulder she quipped, "If you provide a good company for lunch, then perhaps I will provide the Dessert." She hinted, clearly capitalizing the D in dessert as she drew out the word with a pure. Then with a lascivious look as she looked him up and down and added, "And if you provide naughty company for lunch, then I know where the whipped topping is at the castle, and there are a few women who want to join me in being dessert." With a wink, Artemis sauntered ahead.

Xander's eyebrows rose and his smile seemed to stretch from one ear to the other.

Xander shook himself as he watched Artemis continue walking in front of him with an exaggerated sway in her step, and he couldn't help but switch to x-ray vision and then back again as he watched her move.

"God I love my life." Xander said to himself, before running to catch up with his new girlfriend with a smile that would take an industrial grade sandblaster to remove.

* * *

Sunday morning Superman woke up in a cold sweat as he quickly looked around his bedroom to realize that his dreams about falling prey to a prank where he was covered in chocolate syrup and then set upon by Kryptonian fire ants had been just that, dreams.

With a groan, Clark Kent threw his pillow over his head and decided that he was going to sleep in while he got the chance, it had been a long week.

* * *

Meanwhile in Castle Bob, Xander woke up about noon with Jenny curled up on one shoulder, Artemis on the other, Dora spooned up behind Artemis and Tara behind Jenny, and spooned up on the backsides of Tara and Dora were several Valkyries who just 'happened' to be standing outside Xander's bedroom door when Artemis initiated the previous evenings fun.

Inside Xander's head the little voice of his libido kicked his feet up on the conference table in Xander's mind with a smug look on his face while smoking one of the Primal's cigars. _'__Yep, __this __is __the __life __baby, __we__'__ve __finally __made __it.__'_ The little voice finished with a relaxed exhale of smoke.

Staring up at the ceiling with an absolute shit eating grin, Xander said quietly to himself, "God I love my life!"

And with that, Xander snuggled down into the bevy of sleeping beauties in his bed, to hell with pranking Superman that day.

* * *

Monday dawned at the normal time for Clark Kent and as he stretched and yawned from his place in his bed he looked around and scratched before smiling to himself… there had been no pranks on Sunday.

With a cheerful whistle and a spring in his step, Clark went about his morning activities and made it into the Daily Planet without anything breaking him out of his wonderful mood.

"Good morning Lois," Clark said with a quick kiss on her cheek as he passed by her cubicle before whistling to himself and leaving his smiling girlfriend behind on his way to his desk.

"Morning Jimmy!" Clark called out as he looked over the top of Jimmy Olsen's cube and greeted his buddy.

"Hey Clark, you sound peppy this morning, what's the news that has you so happy today?" Jimmy asked as Jimmy rose out of his chair and followed Clark to Clark's cubicle.

"Oh nothing much Jimmy, good Sunday is all. Got to sleep in and it was much appreciated to just have a day of rest." Clark said with a smile before whistling and booting up his computer.

"Well that sounds nice, a little boring, but nice." Jimmy added as the photographer leaned on the doorway to Clark's cube.

"Nah, it was exactly what I needed. I'm a farm boy at heart, and after the work's done it's nice to be able to just kick back and relax and watch the proverbial grass grow. So what's new with you?" Clark asked politely as his computer booted up and he quickly read all of his emails, looking for all the world that Clark was just skimming the contents when in reality Clark Kent had just read twenty emails in the span of even less seconds.

Jimmy smiled and shrugged, "Nothing much, oh, but have you seen Perry this morning?" The photographer questioned.

Clark quirked an eyebrow up and spun his chair to face his young friend. "No I haven't, why do you ask?" Clark queried.

"Oh, no real reason, except he isn't here yet and his office is all closed up. You know how it is, Perry usually leaves it open and the curtains up when he leaves for the night so that his cigar smoke can filter out, he must have forgotten last night, that's all." Jimmy said with a shrug before turning to head back to his cubicle.

Clark shrugged and went back to start working on his computer.

"Good morning Jimmy, did you get those photographs developed from Saturday's Mayoral Gala?" The voice of the Daily Planet's Editor and Chief, Perry, was heard from the aisle outside Clark's cubicle.

"Yep Chief, got them right here, I've already emailed them to the Connie over in copy and edit." Jimmy's voice filtered back through the aisles.

"Good morning Daily Planet." Perry said loud enough so everybody in the news room could hear him over the ringing phones, morning conversations and clacking keyboards.

"Good morning Perry." Everybody chimed, heads poking out of cubicles to greet their often gruff but always caring boss.

Clark smiled as he watched Perry walk by and approach the editor's office. Clark continued watching with a smile as Perry opened the door to the office.

A quizzical look came to Perry's face and to the rest of the watching Daily Planet's staff as they looked into the open door to Perry's office and tried to connect what exactly it was that they were seeing.

Perry's office was full of water. No, not just covered in Dixie cups full of water, not water bottles stacked up, but literally covered and full of water from floor to ceiling.

Not only that, but very large fish where swimming around in the aquarium that Perry's office had been turned into.

Clark Kent had a very bad feeling about this, a feeling that was proven true when one of the very large fish turned towards the light of the open door and tried to make its escape from the tight confines with his other brother and sister fish.

It was at that point that the journalist staff of the Daily Planet learned two things in rapid order:

One, the barrier that was holding back the water in the doorway, the barrier that kept the water in the large office of the Editor and Chief, was some type of strong but not unbreakable cellophane or cling wrap like material; similar to what people wrap food in.

Two, the very large fish were sword fish, and their sword-noses just happened to be sharp enough to tear right through the thin clear membrane that separated the Daily Planet's staff from a Monday morning saltwater bath.

Swordfish hit membrane.

Sword-nose tore membrane.

And chaos was the name of the game.

Women screamed and men bellowed as suddenly a torrential wave of water swept out of the very large office and hit the staff right in the face. And then it was ass over tea kettle for everybody including Clark Kent as suddenly sword noses were being introduced to human anatomical features that were not meant to meet.

The wave of water had passed through the office in a matter of seconds, only to cover the floor in about six inches of salty water with large thirty pound fish flopping about and accidentally stabbing people in awkward places; Clark Kent was very happy that he had the equivalent of buns of steel, else the sword fish poking him in the rear may have required a super proctologist.

Clark pulled the flopping swordfish's prodigious beak out of the back of his sopping wet pants and flung it away while at the same time removing the soaking piece of newspaper that had stuck itself to the side of his face.

Looking to his right Clark saw Lois push herself out of the water, wet straggly hair streaming down over her face, white dress-suit stained with coffee and wet newspaper stains, and she did not look happy, no, not happy at all.

Lois sputtered and spit out a mouth full of salt water as Clark moved forward to help her out, only to have his girlfriend's head seem to home in on him like some sort of missile tracking system, and she delivered a death glare right in his direction through her raccoon looking mascara dripping eyes.

"YOU!" Lois made it sound like a curse word as she filled her statement with venom and anger.

Meanwhile Clark's coworkers were busy picking themselves up or moving away from flopping fish that struggled to swim in the shallow waters that were cluttered with every from Sparkbucks' to-go coffee cups to pens, pencils and paper. Perry had somehow ended up all the way by the glass front doors to the news room, and the Editor and Chief just stared blinking ahead stunned from his position sitting on the ground in the water.

"But Lois, I didn't have anything to-" Clark tried to plead while attempting to help Lois to her feet, only for his girlfriend to push his hands away right before she slipped and fell into the watery morass at her feet and glare at him again.

That's when Lois said the words that made Clark's heart race and blood turn cold in fear.

"I'm… Calling…Your…Mother." Lois stated emphatically.

Clark just stared at her as the utter doom in her words hit home in his brain, he was in big trouble.

Lois pushed herself up to her feet, struggled to take off her ruined pair of designer white pumps, and then sloshed her way out the door of the Daily Planet's news room.

Behind her Clark's shoulders slumped, he was so going to get grounded for this.

* * *

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday the office of the Daily Planet was closed for repairs, and after Xander's mechanical-clank fly on the wall reported the outcome of the latest prank, well Xander felt a bit sorry for Superman.

That didn't mean that Xander wasn't going to continue pranking Superman, oh no, not by a long shot. That just meant that as the pranks rolled on that Xander would space them out a bit more. After all, plans had changed and responsibilities had to be met, that meant Superman had to suffer a bit.

Xander needed a constant outlet for his Sparky creation, and this pranking thing had worked out very well as for the last two weeks he hadn't woken up to find that he had unconsciously created some wild and wacky new dooms day device during his sleep. Then it again it was also nice that he got to work out all of those pranking ideas that he never had the chance to use on Principal Snyder back in Sunnydale; what for lack of resources or time when he lived on the Hellmouth.

Thus during the three days that Ma Kent had grounded Clark to either the farm, the apartment or hero duties, Xander left the bested hero alone.

Now Friday on the other hand, that was a different story. Xander had snuck in with the last repair crew to leave the Daily Planet, and behind him he had left a little prank that wasn't up to his normal level of snuff but should still do the trick in driving Superman to distraction.

* * *

On Friday the Daily Planet office opened its doors again as the news reporters were able to finally work from the office rather than from home. As Clark and his other workers schlepped their way to their newly cleaned and dried cubicles they sighed in relief to note that the Editor and Chief's office was left wide open with the blinds open for all to peer in and see Perry already at work. Just by that one fact alone Friday was already looking better than the earlier part of the week and as the morning started to roll on the staffers got back into the rhythm of work.

Yes, everything was just getting back to normal when on the opposite side of the office from Clark there came a strange loud beep sound. A little time passed, and nobody really noticed it over the sound of conversations, keyboards and phone calls, but then more beeping sounds were heard.

First here, then there the beeps sounded

Then the beeps began to change to different volumes, pitches and durations, but never for long enough to truly pinpoint where the sound was coming from. It was at this point that the staffers started to really notice that the beeps didn't belong, and were beginning to get irritating.

"Beep …. beep… BEEP beep …" the sounds started to come from everywhere at random times, and because Xander's devices were planted in every out of the way place the mad genius could think of, the staffers didn't know where to search first as they tried to follow the sound only for it to come from a totally different direction.

Lois rolled her wheelie office chair out of her cubical and glared across the way at Clark.

Clark quickly got the drift of her message, so lowered his glasses and looked around with his x-ray vision only to find that there were little devices planted everywhere from the lights on the ceiling to under his very own desk. He also noted, somewhat embarrassingly, that many of the women were once again wearing their lead lined underwear.

Clark bent down to look under his desk and saw a small circuit board with a red LED light on it and a single watch battery. As he watched, the light blinked at the same time that the device gave a "beep" sound. Shaking his head in disgust, Clark pulled the device off the underside of his desk, realizing that it easily loosened as the magnet on the back lost its connection with the metal of the desk it was attached to.

Standing up, Clark announced, "It's some type of pranking device that beeps, it looks like its scavenger hunt time people."

Perry came out of the door of his office and yelled, "Well don't just stare at him people, get to finding those little buggers so we can get back to work." With that, the Editor slammed his door so he couldn't hear the incessant beeping.

Lois just shook her head in Clark's direction, and he gave her an apologetic shrug. Based on their conversation last night Clark had explained that not even Batman had a clue where these pranks were coming from, especially since they varied from simple little toys to random manufactured goods and seemed to be planted with relative ease. Not even Batman surveillance devices planted at the Daily Planet's office had caught the perpetrator of the fish prank or the beepers.

Work would end up going long that day as after the staff of the Daily Planet got done finding the annoying little devices, they still had a full day's worth of work to do.

* * *

Saturday dawned for Clark, and it was his shift to cover Watchtower duty for the Justice League, the only problem was that he didn't have anything to wear for his week of vacation from the Planet while he was on tower duty.

"Well crap." Kal-El stated as he stared at his open closet of uniforms in the secret room hidden behind the closet in his apartment.

Oh, the closet was full of uniforms alright, but what had Clark Kent cursing was the color of said uniforms.

Where once was blue spandex, was now white spandex; white spandex covered with little red and pink hearts to be exact. Gone was the red cape, and in its place was a cape in the light shade of pink with bright red letters written across it declaring that he was "Fantastic!" To top off the ensemble, the formerly red briefs which Superman wore on the outside of his blue spandex? Well those were now bright almost glow in the dark pink, with large red letters written across the front of his pelvic region which stated in bold capitalized font, "**MAN ****OF ****STEEL!**" Even the exclamation point was there.

"Oh hell no. No, No, no no no…" Clark said as he just stared at what was left of his entire supply of spare uniforms.

Just then his communicator went off with an emergency signal, and Clark grabbed it from the stand it was set on next to him.

"Superman here, what's the emergency?" Kal-El questioned quickly, eyes still focusing on the eyesore before him.

"Jonn'z here, Gorilla Grodd has invaded Long Island New York with an army of Gorillas, and they are attacking civilians everywhere with police already on the scene. People are about to die and we need Superman immediately." The report came through quickly from the Justice League's Watchtower.

Clark just stared at the communicator bug eyed for a moment, but then with a shake of his head and a clenched jaw Kal-El knew what he needed to do. Biting the proverbial bullet, a pink, red and white blur was quickly jetting its way towards New York City.

Later news commentary was conflicting at the possible existence of a new hero "Fantasticman," where as other's thought Superman had finally come out of the closet. One particularly adroit reporter noted that they had always questioned why Superman wore his underwear on the outside of his pants and likened it to some of the garb commonly worn in San Francisco's Castro district. Still other hopeful sources pointed to the possibility of another Superman clone that didn't completely copy right. Back at Clark's apartment, the voice message machine blinked with an irate message from Lois Lane and another from Ma and Pa Kent telling Clark that they loved him no matter what choices he made in life.

* * *

Saturday was also an early day for Xander as he had a meeting with King Orin of Atlantis, a man also known by the hero name of Aquaman. After a quick stop by Superman's apartment while testing out Xander's new sound suppression device, which was actually powered by a caffeinated hamster in a squeaky wheel, Xander disappeared through a portal after swiping Superman's old uniforms and replacing them with the FANTASTIC set that made Xander giggle with evil glee. Xander had originally thought about making Superman's costume different Hawaiian styles of print and colors, but decided that if Xander ever wanted to work with the hero face to face then it might be an eventual give away when Xander showed up in his usual Hawaiian garb.

After swapping costumes at Clark's apartment, Xander's portal snapped open to deposit him two miles up in the sky above the roiling Atlantic Ocean. Whereas it had been a warmish morning in Metropolis with sunny skies and white fluffy clouds, the sky around Xander now was packed with dark grey clouds packed with moisture.

Xander seemed to step out of the portal before dropping like a rock as gravity claimed his black nano-clank armored form. Feet planted together and body almost stiff as a plank Xander dropped feet first towards the ocean without any attempt to stop his increasing downward momentum.

"Is everything ready for my meeting with Aquaman Jarvis?" Xander casually questioned his suit's AI as outside his helmet he watched light and dark wisps of cloud dart by as torrential rains splattered and beat against his well protected form as he freefell at increasingly greater speeds.

"Yes Sir." The warm tones of the British butler like AI responded before going into more detail, "You are currently located at 41.244772, -29.53125nd, just above the flank of the Mid-Atlantic Ridge over the center of the Atlantic Ocean."

Xander nodded to himself, not making a verbal reply as he spent his time in freefall reviewing details on what he knew about the ruler Aquaman, the Atlantians that King Orin ruled, and whatever historical facts that Xander could recall from his days as a comic book geek with his buddy Jesse. Half surface dweller, half Atlantian prince born of the executed Queen. Xander reviewed that Aquaman's powers were aquatic life telepathy as well as super strength and durability plus the ability to breathe underwater. Other than those gifts, Xander remembered that Aquaman's life pretty much sucked, as the aquatic hero was inflicted with one pyrrhic victory after another and was constantly beat down as all Orin wanted was to protect the Atlantian people and live with the woman Orin loved. That is why Xander had come, to visit Aquaman, for Xander felt that in Aquaman Xander could find another fellow ruler who held several similar beliefs.

Jarvis's voice interrupted Xander's musings on his quickly approaching meeting, a meeting that was drawing literally closer as Xander shot out of the low hanging clouds and towards the now visible waves beneath him; the waves roiling with swells ranging from twenty to twenty five feet tall due to the anger of the storm around him.

"Atlantis is located approximately seven thousand five hundred meters below the surface of your current position. You have reached terminal velocity sir and should hit the surface of the water at terminal velocity speeds in approximately 20 seconds, 19 seconds, 18 seconds… should I activate your shield and change you into your Leviathan outfit Sir?" Jarvis politely asked.

"Yes please Jarvis." Xander replied casually with all the care as if replying to a waiter asking if he would like more water with his meal and in no way comparable to a normal human's reaction would have been in a similar situation of plummeting towards an angry sea without a parachute.

"Deploying Sir." Jarvis stated, and at that same time a slight shine appeared around Xander's armor as the shield system engaged while the armor itself rippled and molded into the featureless black helmet and all black suit, gloves and shoes with the shirt and blood red tie.

"Shape shield to effect maximum penetration please." Xander commanded right before he just missed hitting the peak of a wave beneath him and instead hit a valley between the waves where Xander entered the water like a torpedo; shield system now shaping around Xander so it formed him into a human dart that slipped down through the water almost effortlessly.

Xander went deeper and deeper, and a small part of him was interested to note how quiet the water around him seemed compared to the angry skies and loud choppy waters above the surface.

"No wonder the Atlantians prefer to be left in peace to live out their lives." Xander postulated to himself behind his helmet as he was content to continue dropping at the speed imparted from the fall. As Xander's body began to slow from the friction and pressure of the water against his shield he began to call upon his powers of flight to drive his body deeper still as he moved closer to his goal.

"Why, to Aquaman and his peoples they must consider the surface itself to be a violent place, let alone the surface dwellers that like to invade or pollute the depths of the ocean. It's really peaceful down here." Xander finished talking to himself, which was the time when he saw an incredibly large Great White shark swimming by and turn towards Xander.

Xander's rapid descent, quickly took him out of range and interest of the Great White while also serving to remind Xander that though the ocean was a place of beauty, peace and abundance, it was also a place full of predators where if the sharks and toothy mouths of the deep didn't get you then the pressure of the ocean itself would try and smother you within its powerful blue embrace.

"Jarvis, just double checking that Plan C is ready in case I need backup?" Xander queried his computer as he drew deeper and deeper and ever closer to his meeting location on the secured boarders of Atlantis; frankly Xander was surprised he hadn't run across any patrols on the outskirts of the city given how close Xander was to the city. That in itself was odd and of enough reason to query about Plan C.

"Yes sir, as Igor assured you previously, the biological manipulation of the samples combined with the carbon based nano-clanks enabled the completion of the project as desired. However please let me remind you that Plan C mandates that you acquire Aquaman's powers in order for it to be fully implemented. The danger of implementation without that power is raised by a factor of twenty if you don't…" Jarvis replied as he added his cautionary advice only for Xander to cut him off.

"I know, I know Jarvis, I'm the one who came up with Plan C in the first case. Besides, we're here." Xander interrupted, and sure enough they had arrived as in the distant dark depths beneath Xander rested a humongous domed city glowing blue but with gold lines that seemed to imitate the pattern of brain coral.

Floating between Xander and the city that rested on the sea bottom was a blonde haired muscular figure wearing a tight orange shirt and green pants that seemed to shimmer like scales in the glow of the city's energy dorm.

'_Shield __off __Jarvis.__'_ Xander mentally commanded as he reached up and fixed his already perfectly situated crimson tie before floating forward slowly towards Aquaman. As Xander moved forward his black suit didn't waiver at all, as if the fabric of the suit refused to get wet or be moved by Xander traveling through the water.

"Greetings King Orin of Atlantis, or do you prefer Aquaman?" Xander broadcast on his speaker systems in English as he approached the King under the sea.

"Either will suffice, and greetings to you as well Leviathan," and Aquaman held out his hand in greeting before clasping forearms with the Leviathan; a formal way of greeting apparently older than even medieval times and which signified that neither party at the meeting had a dagger up their sleeve with which to stab the other in the back.

Xander smirked and his eyes sparkled behind his mask as not only did he suddenly feel his mind expand to connect with the sea creatures around him, but also he felt as it pinged against a suddenly startled Aquaman. The smirk was also caused by the additional irony of the fact that though they were clasping forearms Xander's very sleeves could turn into the aforementioned dagger, not that he planned on stabbing Aquaman in the back literally or figuratively.

Aquaman's grasp on the Leviathan's forearm tightened and King Orin frowned for a moment as he queried, "I feel you, your mind's voice calling out. As if you were a creature of the sea, and can hear your voice echo off the minds of my friends, yet I can't get a lock on your own mind to speak to it. Why is that Leviathan?"

Xander tilted his head to the side and smiled while tightening his own grasp on the forearm of Aquaman. "We all have secrets King under the sea, yet my secrets will not harm you as long as you do not harm me. I would think that the fact that I have a similar talent to your own would assure you that I am not your common surface dweller and can be better trusted. Didn't my cleaning of the great floating waste dumps in the ocean, not only above but also in the Pacific show that I consider you and your people as a worthy ally? Do not my actions speak louder than your bought of paranoia?" Xander questioned from behind his Leviathan helmet before waiting quietly for Aquaman to answer.

Aquaman just stared back at The Leviathan quietly before the frown slowly turned into a bland expression and Orin nodded while releasing his clasp on The Leviathan's forearm.

"Ok, I'll trust you at your word for now. But I can't ignore past experience that states that often those who greet me as friends or even family end up turning into my worst enemies." Aquaman said in explanation as he crossed his arms across his chest.

Xander smirked under his helmet before releasing a laugh. "Ha, Yes, I absolutely understand. It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you." Xander broadcast verbally with humor in his voice.

"Heh," Aquaman chuckled and smiled back at The Leviathan. "I see that we understand each other." Orin stated after smirking back at the black clothed figure of the Leviathan.

"Yes we do." The Leviathan replied as Xander's voice issued out of the helmet in an amused tone of voice. "Now on to business. I asked for this meeting to request an alliance between our peoples as we will soon be neighbors of a sort." Xander explained through the speakers on his system.

Aquaman's smile left his face and he frowned for a bit, "It would have to depend on what type of alliance you are requesting and what you mean regarding us soon being neighbors." Aquaman stated a bit wearily. The King of Atlantis was willing to give The Leviathan the benefit of the doubt for the moment, but that didn't mean that he wasn't incredibly wary of all surface dwellers as a whole. After all, it made sense given that the saying, "burn me once shame on you, burn me twice shame on me" had special meaning to a man whose people were water based.

"Understandable." The Leviathan answered honestly. "As to the first I am requesting trade links between your peoples and mine in regards to food and resources. There are minerals and elements that I need for the furtherance and protection of my people yet can only be found in the depths of the sea. As such I don't want to just mine them as you were the first people to this part of the world. Additionally I would offer the services of my forces if you were attacked and would expect the same in return. As to the second, my people will soon start building dwellings along the bottom of the oceans off the coasts of my lands, and I wanted to be a good neighbor and introduce myself first before we moved in." Xander finished explaining while he figuratively laid out his cards on the table.

Aquaman frowned in thought while bending his right arm up so that he could rub his chin while still crossing his arms over his chest. After a few moments Orin carefully answered, "While I appreciate you letting us know about your movement into the oceans of the world, I am hesitant to ally with a surface dweller, even one as conscientious of the seas as you appear to be." Aquaman raised his hand to still any comments as The Leviathan's head moved as if he was going to say something.

"That isn't to say that we cannot trade or figure out some way of working for the acquisition of the minerals that you need for your people's safety, though the mining methods would have to be such as would leave zero pollution or tainting of the waters where you quest for the resources." Aquaman quickly added before continuing, "It's just that we try not to get involved in the politics and wars of the surface as they seem to happen all of the time."

Xander was quiet as he thought about Aquaman's answer. In truth, Xander had pretty much already achieved the main reason for traveling to meet King Orin, namely the bullet and explosive proofing that Aquaman's hybrid status as part Atlantian part Human gifted him. Due to Aquaman's part human DNA, Xander's Amazo nano-clank technology was able to treat the human/Atlantian hybrid portion of Aquaman's genetic code as a metagene which the nano-clanks could mimic. Even while Aquaman spoke, Xander could feel the trillions of little nano-clanks changing the molecular substance of Xander's body's cells; packing them more tightly together and replicating more in order to mimic Aquaman's ability to survive and deflect impact strikes at point blank range. That said, there were some very real political, scientific, economic and safety benefits that Xander could gain if he could acquire a broad sweeping alliance and trade agreement with Atlantis and Aquaman.

Finally The Leviathan spoke as Aquaman had allowed the foreign ruler the time to think over Orin's statement.

"I understand your concerns King Orin and welcome the increased trade. And I assure you that all mining or resource farming will create zero pollution that could harm the oceans or their residents." Xander stated patiently in his persona as the leader of the Empire of the Leviathan, but here is where he called upon the persuasive powers of The Spark, and it slowly started to fill his voice.

"However you must understand that just because you ignore the conflicts and strife that plagues the surface world does not mean that the surface dwellers will return the courtesy to those who live under the sea, as I know you have discovered time and time again." The Leviathan stated, and the truth and power of his words were such that Aquaman couldn't help but find himself nodding in agreement.

Xander saw Aquaman nod and realized that King Orin was beginning to understand what The Leviathan was saying. Xander was going to continue speaking, but then he noticed a rapidly approaching figure swimming for all she was worth towards him and Aquaman.

The sudden arrival drew Xander's attention as he turned his focus to the redheaded woman wearing a crown and a single formfitting seaweed looking spandex like outfit that covered her just under the shoulder then across her chest and then down to her wrists and toes. With the entrance of the woman, well Lady Luck and Irony decided that it was time that they paid a visit also.

"ORIN! Orin thank the gods I've found you!" The women yelled as she raced through the water towards Aquaman.

Aquaman's eyes darted wide as he was startled and turned to see the woman charging towards him. "Mera! What are you doing here? What's wrong? Why aren't you with our son Arthur Jr.?" Aquaman questioned as his wife crashed into Orin in a hug. Xander could tell even from where he was that this women, apparently Aquaman's Queen and wife, was crying. It was a curious effect as her eyes were red tinged from tears, but the salt of her tears meshed with the ocean before they could be noted.

"He's gone!" Mera cried and looked up horrified into her husband's eyes. "Black Manta took him and fled after killing several of the guards along with the maid who was tending to Arthur while I went to help some of our people in the deeps. I returned just as Manta's soldiers fled but the explosives they left blocked off my ability to follow them! Oh Orin, they took our Son, I don't know what I'll do!" She hysterically cried in the arms of her husband at the loss of her son.

"Don't worry Mera, I'll get him." Aquaman stated, ignoring The Leviathan who was witness to the desperate conversation between Aquaman and his wife. "There is no way that Manta can hide from all of my friends. I'll find him no matter where he is." Orin stated as confidently as he could seeing as his arch enemy.

At that statement, cue Murphy and his mayhem; stage left.

"No Aquaman, I'll find you!" Boomed a deep melodramatic voice from behind Xander.

"Sir, Black Manta is floating directly behind you about fifty feet away. I thought you should know." The voice of Jarvis stated.

"Thanks Jarvis, I kind of figured that one out." Xander replied sarcastically as he and the King and Queen of Atlantis turned around to be confronted by the sight of Black Manta who was backed up by a literal army of black and purple wetsuit wearing divers with spear guns.

'_I __guess __that__'__s __why __there __were __no __patrols __to __greet __me __on __my __approach, __Manta __probably __killed __them._' Xander thought to himself before his thoughts were interrupted.

"Black Manta!" Aquaman growled in anger as he looked at his arch enemy.

Xander couldn't help but roll his eyes behind his helmet at the melodramatic confrontation between the two long time enemies. In fact, part of Xander thought about calling the villain and the hero on their overly dramatic greeting. Xander really would have done it too, that is if it wasn't for the fact that the glowing red laser eyes of Black Manta were pointing towards where the villain held the glossy looking bubble of air in which was trapped a blonde haired infant; an infant that was starting to turn a bit blue in the face at the lack of water with which to breath. Black Manta seemed to almost be posing as the villain floated in his solid black wetsuit, baby in a bubble in one hand, blade in another and red laser opticals pointed towards the baby. However for all the posturing, if there was one thing Xander had learned due to Kaznian situation where Jenny had died, it was that he really really hated hostage takers.

"Arthur!" Mera screamed and tried to dart forward only to get pulled back by Aquaman.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha," Black Manta cackled before beginning to monologue. "Yes, that's right I have your son. Finally I have you in my grasp Aquaman just as I hold your infant son in my gras-AAAAAGH!"

Black Manta's monolog was rudely interrupted as a red flash of light severed his right arm at the elbow only to disappear along with the bubble of air and the infant that was trapped inside.

Said infant, air bubble and severed forearm appeared in The Leviathan's hands at almost the same moment.

Xander ignored the screaming bleeding Black Manta and the open mouthed stunned Aquaman and Mera and instead focused on the baby in his hands.

The Leviathan took a look at the hand attached to the bubble and threw the severed arm over his shoulder before laying his hand on the hard surface of the water bubble. In less than a second there was a pop as The Leviathan's hand seemed to vibrate and then shatter the integrity of the bubble, and then Xander was left holding a baby that looked up surprised at the leader of the Empire of The Leviathan.

"Who's a cute little water breathing baby? You are! You are!" Xander cooed through his helmet in a high pitched voice as his glove hand startled and then tickled a giggle out of the infant.

Behind The Leviathan the Black Manta screamed in pain as he tried to staunch the blood flow. Behind the Black Manta the divers looked on in confusion, and in front of the Leviathan Mera and Aquaman held each other too stunned to even move as they watched The Leviathan, a man who captured countries in a day and who had just brutally severed the arm of the Black Manta, play gently with their giggling child.

Both Mera and Aquaman shared a wide eyed momentary look with each other, and both thought the same thing, _'__He__'__s Crazy__!__'_

When that moment passed however Aquaman and Mera shook off their shock and rushed to The Leviathan's side where the ruler of the Empire gently handed the baby over to Mera as she came close.

"Oh my son!" Mera cried out as she clasped her son tightly to her chest.

'_You__'__re __so __lucky. __You __still __get __to __breast __feed __on __a __regular __basis.__'_ The little voice of Xander's libido griped playfully at the baby as Xander smiled as the woman clutch her son to her bosom. Then Xander turned to face Black Manta just as the villain was yelling something-something about Xander's supposed upcoming doom.

"Excuse me." The Leviathan interrupted the Black Manta's tirade of what Manta wanted to do to The Leviathan and Aquaman for vengeance regarding his lost arm.

The polite interruption was so startling to the watery villain Black Manta that said villain actually stopped cursing and turned his head to see what The Leviathan wanted.

"Firstly, if you are going to be a villain, don't monologue where the heroes can kill you. Just a word of advice." The Leviathan stated in a casual tone with a negligent shrug and a wave of his hand.

The Black Manta was so stunned that he was getting advice on how to be an evil villain from a person whom Manta had just threatened to kill that all he could do was nod along; though the power of Xander's Spark probably had something to do with it.

"Second, your laugh was pitiful. This is how you laugh evilly," The Leviathan stated, and then the dark helmeted Leviathan began to chuckle darkly and deeply as the hairs on backs of not only Black Manta's but also Aquaman and Mera's necks' started to stand on end.

Starting off quietly with deep rumbles that echoed up from his chest, The Leviathan gave Black Manta his one and only lesson on how to cackle like an evil genius, "bwa ha ha ha, Mwa ha ha, BWA HA HA HA! MWAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" The Leviathan finished as he threw his head back while calling up all the power of his Spark, and around Xander his spectator's eyes went wide in fear and all of them slowly started to back away from the almost physical manifestations of true wiggin's relaying power that radiated off of the maniacally laughing Leviathan.

As quickly as it had started, it stopped in an abrupt change as The Leviathan just halted all laughter and cleared his throat while looking casually at his spectators.

"Ahem, ok, where were we then?" Xander asked with a large smile on his face from behind the cover of his helmet. _'__It__'__s __kind __of __funny __how __big __their __eyes __get __when __I __do __things __like __that.__'_ Xander thought to himself with a smirk as he watched all of the beings around him just stare at him dumbstruck.

Apparently the pain of losing an arm enabled Black Manta to come out of his stupor first, for the villain bellowed out in rage, "Now you Die!" before attempting to blast The Leviathan with the red lasers from Black Manta's silver colored helmet.

Xander's shields flashed to life with plenty of time to stop the twin laser blasts and absorb them, storing the power for later usage.

"Um no, I don't think so." Xander broadcast through his speakers before mentally giving his armor the command to enlarge the shield so that it not only surrounded Xander but also Aquaman, Mera and little Arthur.

Black Manta saw the shield absorb the laser blasts before enlarging to not only protect The Leviathan but also Aquaman's family as well.

"Fine then, if I can't attack you, then I'll take the city by force instead!" Black Manta threatened as he waved forward for his army to charge towards the city of Atlantis.

"No!" Aquaman called and moved forward to intercept the army that started to move forward, only Aquaman impacted against the inside of The Leviathan's shield before quickly rounding to The Leviathan.

"Drop the shields! I need to save my city." Orin demanded commandingly.

"No, don't worry about it. You're safer in here for the moment, besides it's time for Plan C." The Leviathan explained while shrugging off the Atlantian King's order.

Aquaman looked quickly towards the encroaching army that was just reaching the sphere of Xander's shield, and then back at The Leviathan.

"Plan C? But what about a Plan A or B?" Aquaman questioned quickly, desperate to find a way to save both his family and his city.

"I don't need a Plan A or B. Besides, Plan C isn't the third plan, it's the only plan." Xander's smirk became bloodthirsty behind his Leviathan helmet and a gleam came to his eyes as answered.

"Jarvis, activate Plan C and send it through please." Xander ordered patiently.

At that command there was a gigantic flash of red light and a portal the size of a sky scraper appeared behind the Black Manta and his attacking army that was just reaching The Leviathan's shielded position.

The flash was so bright that the attacking divers stopped and turned to look at what was happening while shielding eyes already adapted to the darkness sea's depths while trying to see what was happening behind them.

And then it appeared out of the portal to float right behind the army… and the invading army knew fear. They didn't know what it was, but they feared it.

The portal snapped shut and left behind a massive green colossal figure, some three hundred and fifty feet tall and easily one hundred wide. Whatever it was it was totally bright almost glow in the dark green, but it was a glow that both gave and seemed to suck the light back into the depths of its body as if it was trying to eat the world and the light around it. The thing had huge clawed feet that led to huge muscular legs that trailed up to a hulk of a body as big around as an Atlantian battle-sub with arms the size of blue whales that were also tipped with long sharp claws.

However the most distinguishing factor of the incredibly huge creature floating silently behind the army wasn't the huge size or the light absorbing green color, it wasn't the claws nor was it the giant wings spread from its back, no, it was the bald green head with black eyes the diameter of grain silos… eyes that were mounted above a head full of giant green tentacles.

The Leviathan's happy voice broke the stunned silence. "Black Manta and invading army of idiots, I present my Cthulhu, also affectionately termed Plan C. Cthulhu, I present snacks, go get'em Boy!"

With that, Xander sent both a telepathic signal to the beast's giant squid like brain, the aquatic telepathy gained from stealing Aquaman's powers and coupled with a mechanical signal to the nano-clanks controlling the other part of the beast's nature. And then it was time to kick back and watch the fun begin.

"RROAAAAAAAAAAAR!" Cthulhu roared, and with that it darted forward with amazing speed and attacked the army of divers.

Divers screamed behind their masks, and Black Manta appeared too scared to move as surprisingly fast clawed hands lashed out and captured hordes of divers before quickly releasing said divers into the waiting clutches of thousands of wiggling tentacles. With the a score of the enemy soldiers firmly captured by the tentacles, the hands shot out to capture more of the army as the tentacles quickly wrapped around and crushed the captured invaders before shoving the men down the beast's toothy mouth.

Aquaman and Mera could only watch aghast as the creature absolutely demolished the attacking army like a bus full of sumo wrestlers at an all you can eat Twinkie feed.

"Isn't he cute?" The sound of true pride shown through the voice of The Leviathan as he floated next to Aquaman.

Aquaman turned his head to look stunned at The Leviathan and noticed that the ruler of the Empire was engrossed in watching the invading army get devoured.

"That beast started out as a cross between some mutagens that I accidentally spilled together over a sample of giant squid." The Leviathan explained as he enjoyed watching one of his perversions of nature come to life; it was always nice when a science experiment worked out. "Add a few thousand tons of growth hormone, some nano-technology, raise it in a septic lagoon the size of a mountain and wa'la! One homemade Cthulhu ready to order." Xander finished with a smile and an insane gleam to his eyes behind his helmet before turning to Aquaman and adding as an afterthought, "though I don't suggest trying this experiment at home you understand. I'm a trained expert at mad science. Why I tell you, a few of the other scientists tried to see if they could reproduce the effects and the creature they created ended up trying to eat several Jägers."

Aquaman looked aghast and paled at the thought that this man could have other such monstrosities, and ones that The Leviathan couldn't even control.

Of course Xander totally misinterpreted the look on Aquaman's face and smiled behind his helmet while patting Aquaman on the shoulder.

"No, don't worry. The Jäger's were just fine by the time they clawed their way out of the beast's belly… though they did forever swear off sushi." The Leviathan finished with a shrug as he went back to watching the show.

Xander's Cthulhu continued to dine and the divers continued to die as the spears shot from the divers' spear guns just bounced off the things thick hide.

"Oh look! There goes Black Manta." The Leviathan narrated as the Cthulhu was finally able to capture the villain who had been desperately dodging while trying to blast the creature with laser beams all to no effect. Black Manta was fast in the water, but apparently the constant blood loss was getting to him as with a fast sweep of the claw Manta was snatched up and shoved immediately into the gaping maw of the giant beast.

"NOOOOOO-Gurk!" Black Manta called out, only to be cut off as the Cthulhu jaws chomped closed.

With that the battle was over; as the villain had been the last one devoured given his ability to out swim his minions.

"Well now that that's over, how about that alliance." The Leviathan asked while canceling out his shield and turning towards the still pale and shaken Aquaman and the man's wife and child.

"BURP!" And as if perfectly planned the Cthulhu burped and a silvery item shot out of the creatures mouth and right at The Leviathan who easily plucked it out of the water and held it still.

Aquaman blinked and looked at The Leviathan, then down to the red eyed visage of the empty helmet that used to belong to Black Manta, and then back at The Leviathan.

Pasting an artificially large smile on his face, Aquaman began nod his head very vigorously before looking at his wife with a shake of the head towards The Leviathan, and then Mera also joined her husband in nodding quickly.

"Absolutely, we would love to have you as a friend rather than an enemy." Aquaman quickly stated.

"Not that we would ever think of you as an enemy!" Mera hurriedly added wide eyed, hoping to cover over any possible gaff in her husband's statement before nervously turning to look at her husband.

"No never, never your enemy." Aquaman agreed quickly and nervously while rapidly shaking his head in agreement.

"Especially after you saved our son." Mera swiftly inserted while continuing to nod vigorously.

"Allies, definitely allies and trade partners too." Aquaman added, hoping that The Leviathan would say something soon as the featureless black helmet of The Leviathan was unnerving. Add to that the ending where The Leviathan's trained creature showed what happened to those who annoyed the Empire's ruler.

All of Aquaman and Mera's nervousness was totally lost on the normally observant Xander, and he too thought the trick with the burp and the helmet was pretty cool; maybe he'd train the Cthulhu to do that on command so that he could use it to entertain at parties?

Xander looked up from where he was admiring the shiny helmet in his hands and smiled from behind his own helmet.

"Good then, I'm glad we were able to work everything out so well." The Leviathan answered pleasantly before handing over the Black Manta's old helmet to Aquaman.

"I'll have my people call your people and work out all the details, and it was good talking to you, but I should probably head back and take the Cthulhu with me; it always likes to take a nap after feeding time." The Leviathan added the last part a bit conspiratorially while talking behind the back of his hand, as if the silently floating creature that stared down at them cared one way or another about Xander's comment.

"Um, sure, well nice meeting you too." Aquaman added hesitantly and with a bit of a forced smile. Orin then looked down to his side as he pulled his wife and child closer to him in a one armed hug before looking back at The Leviathan.

"And thank you. Thank you so much for saving my son's life." Aquaman said with a real smile this time, and Mera bent down to kiss her infant son's head as he was held protectively in her arms. "I don't know what would have happened if he had died."

"Oh I know that one, your wife would have gone crazy and run away and you would have lost your hand to a mutant shark called Charybdis, but now that's all behind you so you should be ok." The Leviathan answered nonchalantly before waving and swimming away towards his pet Cthulhu only to stop and wave goodbye one more time. The Leviathan left a stunned couple who didn't know what to think as they watched The Leviathan swim away after dropping such a bombshell on the two of them.

Xander stopped and turned to the pair of Atlantian rulers one last time from his position floating right next to his pet Cthulhu.

"Take care you two, and expect a call from my Chief Steward Igor." The Leviathan called to the still stunned couple. Then with a loud zap and a flash of red light The Leviathan and the Cthulhu were gone.

It was quiet again in the ocean as Mera and Aquaman stared unblinking where The Leviathan and the beast had just been. It was Arthur Jr. that broke the silence however as with a gurgle and a grab for his father's nose he caused his smiling parents to refocus back on him.

Orin turned and wrapped both of his arms around his shorter wife and his son that was carefully clutched between the two of them.

"I love you." Orin stated sincerely down to his wife, who looked up at him with care in her eyes where she replied.

"I love you too." Mera stated, and the King and Queen bent forward and kissed briefly over the head of their child.

Drawing back Aquaman added, "But I think we can both agree when I say that we want to keep that man as happy with us as possible, correct?"

Mera nodded vigorously as the couple and their son turned and started swimming back towards Atlantis.

"Absolutely." Mera said before adding, "Besides, The Leviathan saved our son's life, so how bad could he be?"

* * *

As the sun rose on Monday morning over Metropolis City it quickly became clear that entire population of the city had now officially been brought into fun that had been Superman's life for the last two weeks. There were a rare few who knew about the fact that a rash of pranks had been going on the previous two weeks, but as the business week began in the city it soon became apparent to all that something was amiss.

Traffic was backed up everywhere, and as the Monday morning work commute started up and more cars pulled onto the road, it quickly became clear that nobody was getting to work if they didn't walk. The reason for this lack of mobility was none other than gift packages situated exactly in the middle of every major intersection of the city, packages that measured twenty wide by twenty feet long by twenty feet tall. Attached to each of these gaily wrapped packages where bright red, blue or green ribbons that clashed with the varied colors of the packages themselves that ranged from solid crimson red to purple poka-dot and even plaid. However the piece de résistance of the packages were probably the large poster sized gift tags that read "From: Mr. Myxlsptlk, To: Metropolis City" attached to the packages right above giant red buttons that had the words "PUSH ME!" printed in bold black letters. Thus far nobody had pressed the button, as gridlock traffic prevented any inquisitive pedestrian from getting too close to the giant gifts.

Not wanting anybody to be left out, and given that Lex Luthor took a private helicopter into work each day, Xander had kindly provided Lex Luthor with his very own anonymous gift package; a package that took up a good half of Lex's office and which Xander had nicely dropped on top of Lex's mahogany and glass desk. The desk had been an expensive item which had been given to Lex from some dictator whom Lex had sold arms to. The important part of that description being the word "had" as in the desk was no longer an expensive item given the fact that it was currently crushed under a ten foot by ten foot by ten foot lead lined package which as stated, Xander had politely left on Lex's desk via a transporter. Of course RedTree had deleted all security coverage of the gift arriving seeing as how the female AI was already fully embedded in Lex Luthor's computer systems.

Thus it was that Lex Luthor first learned about his "gift" when he opened his office door that morning, only to see a rainbow colored crate like gift crushing his position of power.

"What the hell is this!" Lex cursed.

At which time Murphy decided that Xander wasn't the only person who bad luck should visit on a regular basis, as across town a little boy broke loose of his mother's grip and ran up to a gift package in Metropolis central park, and hit the giant "PUSH ME" button on the package.

Bedlam, pure and simple chaos erupted all over the city as every box in the city opened at the same time.

Here one box popped open to reveal a giant jack-in-the-box that shot fire hose thick bands of silly-string all around the square, knocking down pedestrians and painting buildings in an ever changing color of silly-string as the pressure of the blasting rainbow concoction made the spring mounted jack-in-the-box head bounce every which way.

In other parts of the city Furby dolls erupted from the boxes to pelt the surrounding cars and crowds before they began high pitched screams of "AIEEEEEEEEEEE! Hello My Pretty! BWA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Several boxes presented firework displays that spelled out inappropriate words about Superman's Fantastic fashion sense, or Lex Luthor's lack of manhood. Other gifts box disintegrated to unleash impossibly large solid waves of shaving cream that poured forth and covered the first few rows of cars and anybody that happened to be too close. Two boxes turned into giant bubble blowers that filled the surrounding streets with suds while the sky was filled with bubbles the size of VW Beetles, and to top off the whole chaos, Lex Luthor's box exploded in raw sewage from the Cthulhu pit.

Xander's thought had been sure, he had shut down LexCorp towers before due to his stink bombs, but in this case he figured, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Thus Lex and his five thousand dollar suit were blasted back out of his office as the executive level of LexCorp towers was suddenly rendered unfit for human consumption, residence, or both.

Speaking of consumption, due to Lex's mouth being open while cursing, he would be visiting the toilet for the next week or so due to the amount of sewage he consumed. Of course the sewage had an even more sinister element to it, as the taste of sewage does a very good job of hiding the flavor of a nano-clank infusion as it enters somebody's mouth and diffuses into their body. Lex Luthor would end up too sick to notice the carbon and plant matter based nano-clanks that were even then beginning to infiltrate his body, and his mind.

Xander stood on top of the globe that was perched on the top of the Daily Planet building, and from his position he could enjoy the chaos while a very smug imp floated next to him.

From their perch on top of the Daily Planet building and across from the LexCorp Towers, Xander and Mr. Myxlsptlk watched as the glass windows of Lex Luthor's top floor office was suddenly painted brown with green tinges and Xander's newly upgraded hearing could distinctively hear Lex Luthor cursing Superman's name in between retching. Xander smirked before turning, and out of the corner of his eye he noted a blue and red blur streak across the city streets below as Superman began to help in the cleanup effort from the latest prank.

Xander continued his turn so that he faced Myxlsptlk. "So, we are agreed that we're even, correct? Not only are we paid up on the due pranks from the foray into hell. But the extras cover that you won't stop me sending help to my friends back in Sunnydale, and no matter what happens you won't hurt my friends or family or cause others to do so." Xander smiled a bit smugly at the imp.

Myxlsptlk smiled back with a smile that stretched from one ear to the other ear on his overly large impish head. "Agreed, and good work on the boyscout. I haven't had this much fun since I brought the daily planet building to life. Oh boy, you do a good job and we will have to see what we can do in the future to drive more people nuts. You've met your part of the deal and I agree we are even on all counts. Well then, Toodle loo!" The Imp finished while vigorously shaking Xander's hand before releasing it and fading out of view.

Xander stood there smiling evilly at the chaos he had created while just enjoying the sunny day atop the Daily Planet building.

However as soon as Myxlsptlk disappeared so did Xander's smile. Looking around from his place on the top of the building, Xander noted that he was all alone.

"Double check that the imp is gone Jarvis." Xander commanded as his nano-clank clothing shivered and then rippled to cover his body in the solid black garb of his black full-body armor.

"Yes Sir, the emanations of power that the imp gives off when he is present in visible or non-visible spectrums has departed from the present area." The voice of Xander's personal AI butler responded.

"Well then, seeing as how I just made Superman's life hell, it's time to save it before it's even threatened while pissing off Luthor again." Xander stated.

With that said, a portal opened, and Xander disappeared from a Metropolis City left in chaos.

If Xander would have waited around for just five more minutes, he would have witnessed a glowing gold Ankh appear in the air before disappearing as a gold helmeted and yellow caped man appeared exactly where Xander and the imp had just been standing.

"I see that I am too late to stop the chaos." Dr. Fate stated as he not only felt the dimensional shivers that were left behind by an agent of chaos, but also as his eyes watched the bedlam below.

With that, Dr. Fate spread his arms and the sorcerer that was empowered by the Lords of Order disappeared once again as a golden Ankh swept him away.

* * *

That night in a palace that overlooked the Nile River in Southern Egypt, Ra's al Ghul was reviewing documents regarding the latest activities of The Detective and comparing them to Alexander Harris.

"Hmm, I must find a way to test the mind of Alexander. He must be tested to see if he can make the sacrifices necessary to fulfill my goals." Ra's said to himself. Mr. Harris continued to be a conundrum to Ra's and his agents as the young man seemed to move about the world at will, and it seemed as if Mr. Harris was very adroit at losing any tail that Ra's assigned to follow the boy.

Ra's shifted through several papers on his desk and pulled out a folder on Bruce Wayne, aka Batman.

It was clear from what his informants were telling him that the Batman was losing his touch, as the folder of updated information on Bruce stated that the electronic monitoring devices secreted in the Batcave stated that batman had even had the Batmobile stolen right out from under his nose; and by an unknown individual that didn't even show up on Ra's monitoring bugs. The fact that Batman had been unable to locate the thief who had then gone on to pull the wool over Superman's eyes as well was a blot against the Detective. However the fact that not even Ra's al Ghul's League of Shadow's assassins could pinpoint the Batcave's infiltrator did assuage some of Bruce's folly.

Setting aside the latest report on Bruce Wayne, Ra's sorted through the latest information on the ghost that Mr. Harris had seemed to have become recently.

As Ra's read, he noted that the report stated that an agent had spotted a man whom they thought was Alexander Harris having an intimate picnic lunch with a beautiful unknown girl. However when the agent had attempted to move to a location that would give an unfettered view of the man's face, a copse of trees had blocked the agents view just as the couple was cleaning up their picnic lunch. The report went on to state that as the agent cleared the trees they were shocked to find that the couple had disappeared as if into thin air.

Ra's cursed under his breath as so far his agent's hadn't even been able to find any information on how Xander got to Metropolis from his last sighting in Asia. This 'Alexander' not only had the skills and knowledge to draw Ra's al Ghul's attention, but the man was good at disappearing and reappearing as he wished. Not only that, but Alexander was also willing to kill; something that was a must if one were to come alongside and someday help lead the League of Shadows and their many assassins.

Suddenly, a slight movement at the window caught Ra's al Ghul's eye. Whirling towards the dark shadow, a dagger flew from the Demon Head's sleeve only to miss as he saw a lithe figure of a women in a full leather outfit jump out the window and into the moonlit night, which was quickly followed by the sound of a powerful motorcycle revving its engines and kicking up dirt as it disappeared into the distance.

Ra's turned around with wide eyes to see if any further infiltrators had entered his office, only then noticing that the jeweled wedding bands that he had given to his first wife were missing from the glass case. The bands had been intricately carved solid gold arm bands, his with etchings of eagles with diamond chips for eyes, his late wife's with leopards with emerald chips for eyes.

Furious, Ra's grabbed the security radio that road on his hip and yelled into it, "A thief just stole from my personal suite! I want her dead! Go get her before she gets away!" He turned to glare out the window.

It was silent for a moment, but then a tentative report came over the radio. "Sir, I regret to inform you that the theft from your person isn't the only thing the thief took… Apparently she also took all of the lug nuts off the vehicles Sir."

"GRAAAAAHH!" Ra's al Ghul yelled in fury and smashed his fists into his desk, causing papers to go flying. This was the fifteenth time that the unknown female thief had stolen from him before leaving behind mayhem, and he wanted that woman dead.

In the distance, Catwoman slid her bike to a halt and looked down from the hill she was perched on top of. Over the quiet idling of the bike she swore she heard a yell of rage. With that, a "cat who got the canary" smile crept across her face and then Selena Kyle turned the bike back onto the road and disappeared into the night. It was time she headed back to Gotham City, as Ra's al Ghul had been poked at enough… for now.

* * *

**AN: ****And ****there ****you ****have ****it. ****A ****long ****chapter ****at ****more ****than ****26k ****words, ****but ****short ****by ****10k ****of ****the ****length ****of ****the ****doozy ****that ****was ****two ****chapters ****ago. ****I ****hope ****you ****enjoyed ****the ****pranks ****as ****much ****as ****I ****enjoyed ****coming ****up ****with ****them, ****and ****you ****will ****note ****that ****there ****were ****several ****more ****than ****just ****the ****5 ****original ****promised ****ones ****due ****to ****a ****bit ****of ****foreshadowing ****about ****a ****secondary ****agreement. ****Anyway, ****I ****have ****to ****really ****say ****that ****I ****appreciate ****the ****reviews ****and ****recommendations, ****as ****I****'****ve ****really ****been ****encouraged ****to ****keep ****writing ****on ****a ****more ****regular ****basis; ****as ****opposed ****to ****just ****reading ****other ****people****'****s ****works ****and ****ignoring ****my own ****stories. ****Frankly, ****this ****would ****have ****been ****posted ****sooner ****if ****it ****wasn****'****t ****for ****the ****fact ****that ****I ****was ****busy ****traveling ****for ****work. ****Oh ****well, ****I ****do ****want ****to ****say ****that ****it ****really ****makes ****my ****day ****and ****gives ****me ****a ****smile ****when ****my ****email ****notifies ****me ****that ****a ****review ****or ****pm ****comes ****in ****about ****the ****story, ****so ****honestly ****you ****have ****my ****thanks. ****Cheers!**


	39. Chapter 39: It's A Small World After All

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: Everything has a purpose, and I love taunting my readers by planting little hints or building statements in an earlier chapter only to make that little seeming side detail a major point later on. What you are seeing in this chapter is some of those earlier subplots coming into their maturity and gaining more importance. It might be shorter at only 9.5k, but trust me when I say this chapter isn't filler; as old subplots are being brought forward towards completion, and new ones are hinted at. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it, and please let me know your thoughts. Cheers!**

**AN2: I'm having problems with taking portions in bold and _italics_ and blending all of the words together (taking out all of the spaces/stops). If you are noticing the problem, then complain to the fanfiction mods because its driving me nuts also.**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 39: It's A Small World After All**

"I believe in benevolent dictatorship, provided I am the dictator"

~Richard Branson

Deep in the dark fortress on the mountains cliffs, screams of pain were heard which were then quickly followed by cackling laughter. No, no prisoner was being tortured, no abuse of humanity was taking place, and no puppies were being kicked. Rather It was simply Xander, trying out a new experiment. The sounds of arcing electrical sparks were quickly followed by Xander's curses which echoed through the large black metal laboratory. The light blue glow of a large circular glass tank of thick blue bubbling fluids and small glass containers backlit the otherwise dark room, while Xander sat on a work table with a kitchen strainer stuck to his head and electrodes inserted into the sides of his neck while wires trailed off of the sieve to where they connected with the computer before him.

"Bzzt!... Ow! Shit that hurts!" Xander yelped again as he pressed a button on the computer and accidentally electrocuted himself again.

"Heh heh heh heh heh," The sound of evil cackling wafted out of the circular blue tank that spanned twenty feet across by twenty feet tall. The large tank extended into the floor and ceiling and took up the entire center of the large laboratory; the only other defining characteristics of the room were Xander sitting at a computer consol and a shrouded table set in the back corner of the room.

Xander turned from his place before the computer and towards the giant glass tank and scowled, "You think it's funny watching me get electrocuted?" Xander groused.

"Vhy yes, I do Mein Dictator." Came the German accented voice, and a mechanical arm moved in the tank of blue goop until the disembodied head of an old German scientist floated into view of the glass that surrounded the large vat of said fluid. The bald head, which wore a monocle as its only adornment, was encased in its own individual glass shell with bronze dials and gauges along the outside of its individual enclosure that protected head from the blue fluid that the mechanical arm moved through.

"You're an evil twisted bastard Dr. Heimer, you know that right?" Xander questioned the disembodied head of the former evil scientist; one of the scientists that Xander had captured in his raid on Oolong Island.

"Yah, I know I am. However, I am not da vone who keeps vey reanimated heads of scientists in a 'brain trust.'" The head of the former Nazi doctor countered in a heavy German accent.

Xander quirked his own head to the side and growled back at Dr. Heimer, "Well how else is one to make a "Think Tank" without the use of brains? Now shut up before I decide to add a few gallons of hot sauce to your enclosure or see how much you like electrocution. I put you in there so you could design things to help my people and to make up for some of the evils that you partook in while alive, now get back to work or we'll see how much you like being on the receiving end of pain."

"Yah, Mein Dictator, I'll go back to working on zey cure for zey Ebola virus now." The bodiless doctor stated with a slight bob of the mechanical arm. The bob of the mechanical arm made it look as if the head was nodding before disappearing as the mechanical arm pulled the head of Dr. Heimer back into the depths of the tank; back to where it could 'brainstorm' with the other encased heads of mad scientists and geniuses captured, killed, and then reanimated by Xander in his raid on Oolong island and from other locations.

Xander turned back to the computer that was set next to him and began to type on it again while grumbling under his breath, "Waste not want not I keep telling myself, but these buggers are a pain in the ass sometimes. If it wasn't for Bob monitoring their discoveries and thoughts I'd just have them all put down before they devise weaponized-clowns or create some kind of plague that destroys Twinkies or bacon."

Xander pressed another button on the computer only for the "Bzzzt!" sound of electricity to echo from his sieve-helmet and caused Xander to jump and shimmy in his seat as the electricity accidentally coursed through his body. The electricity cut off as Xander released a groan and slumped in his seat, the hair on his head smoking slightly and wafting up through the holes in the sieve.

Xander shook his head and then slumped back, the sieve on his head clunking against the wooden chair he was using.

"Damn, that didn't work like I expected." Xander grumbled before turning his head to look over at the blue glowing tank. Every now and then a head would appear close enough to the glass to be seen as the mechanical arms that controlled the brains in the Think Tank brought a head into view.

'_Is __it __strange __that __I __find __it __kind __of __relaxing __watching __the __floating __heads __swim __by?__'_ Xander mentally queried.

'_Nope, __perfectly __sane.__'_ The voice of insanity answered just before it jumped off a mental cliff in Xander's mind because the Primal dared the insane voice to do it.

Xander just shook his head and looked back at his computer screen where a three dimensional model of the human brain was slowly rotating; Xander hadn't upgraded the system to that of the holographic hard light layout just yet, preferring instead to use the system he had liberated from the telepath Yuri.

"Guess I'll have to ask the expert." Xander huffed and slid himself back up in his seat.

"Bob, please bring Yuri forward so that I can talk to him." Xander ordered and scooched his chair around until it fully faced the Think Tank.

A head held in its own individual glass enclosure was moved through the thick blue fluid until it came to rest before the glass. However unlike the other floating heads Yuri was equipped with his very own tinfoil hat.

"Bow to the mind of Yuri! Why won't you bend to my will?" The head of Yuri, the telepathic former shadow ruler of Romania, spat at Xander as it was held in place in the tank.

Xander smirked evilly back at Yuri, a smirk that wasn't really that intimidating given the fact Xander had a kitchen sieve covered in electrical wires strapped to his head.

"Come now Yuri, you can't still be pissed off about me winning fair and square?" Xander teased the floating head.

"I'll liquefy your brain! I'll twist your mind and make you…" the pale disembodied head of Yuri started to rant and rave only for Xander to ignore the head's cursing.

"Bob, I think Yuri needs his daily dose of "It's A Small World."" Xander quipped with an evil gleam in his eyes.

Yuri's eyes shot wide open in fear before glossing over as the Disney song "It's A Small World" started to play on repeat into the individual capsule that held Yuri's head.

"It's a world of laughter, a world or tears  
Its a world of hopes, it's a world of fear  
There's so much that we share  
That its time we're aware  
It's a small world after all

Its a small world after all  
Its a small world after all  
Its a small world after all  
Its a small, small world

There is just one moon and one golden sun  
And a smile means friendship to everyone.  
Though the mountains divide  
And the oceans are wide  
It's a small small world

It's a small world after all…"

"NOOOOOOOOO! Make it stop, make it stop! For all that is holy, make it stop!" Yuri started screaming.

With a smirk, Xander sent a mental command to Bob via the nano-clanks in Xander's body, and the music torturing Yuri stopped.

Yuri's eyes slowly regained lucidity and the telepath glared at Xander.

Xander just smiled back. "Haven't I told you time and time again, that I've negated your telepathy? Come now Yuri, I'd think that you would jump at the chance to help me mess with my own brain and the aquatic-telepathy I just gained from Aquaman?" Xander questioned rhetorically.

"It's not like I have a choice." Yuri growled back between clenched teeth.

"Nope, you don't." Xander answered back with a peppy smirk on his face and a happy tone in his voice. "So you might as well answer my questions the first time and stop trying to liquefy my brain with your telepathy, otherwise I might introduce you to the "Song That Never Ends." Xander continued, only to end with a threat that brought a look of abject fear and horror to Yuri's face.

"No! Anything but the "Song That Never Ends!" Dr. Von Snitzer still cannot stop humming it after the last time he tried to create that device that would have released Mimes with reality bending abilities." Yuri stated with a shiver at the memory.

Xander's eyes gazed unseeing into the distance and he shivered at the memory of that device also. "Brrrr, Mimes, I hate them almost as much as I hate clowns." Xander stated before giving his body a little shake to cleanse the memory before focusing back on the here and now.

Directing his attention to Yuri, Xander detailed his problems, "So I'm trying to expand the carrier waves of the aquatic telepathy to connect with higher life forms. Just what did you do to get your telepathy past the level that is held in your minor meta-gene and up to the level where you could control human minds?" Xander questioned.

The head of Yuri paused in thought while one eyebrow raised and the other lowered, causing Xander to have to stifle the chuckle that wanted to escape at the view of the face the mad telepath was making while wearing the bicorn-tinfoil hat.

After a few moments of thinking, Yuri finally answered, "Well the first step was to give myself a full frontal lobotomy where I replaced the frontal lobe with a microwave dish, thus when I took the occipital lobe and replaced it with a small computer running Windows 3.1 I was able to boost my power three fold." Yuri stated with a smirk on his face.

Xander rubbed his chin in thought while contemplating Yuri's statement, "So you're telling me that you replaced your brain with a Microsoft operated computer?"

"Yes, after all it was perfectly clear that Bill Gates was already creating Microsoft to take over the world, I thought using Windows would be the perfect operating system for use in mind control." Yuri explained. "Besides, I couldn't use an Apple OS, it was too user friendly and wouldn't let me manipulate it as much I needed."

Xander nodded in understanding and thought quietly to himself for a few moments before slapping his knees with his hands in frustration.

"Well Damn, that isn't going to work." Xander cursed and slumped back in his seat again with his arms crossed over his chest. "There is no way that I'm going to be cutting out sections of my brain or installing software that is released with 60,000 known errors, and using an Apple product would be just stupid." Xander spoke to himself before a light seemed to go on behind Xander's eyes.

"However." Xander paused in thought and stroked his chin before continuing to talk out loud. "Maybe if I had the nano-clanks build a wire mesh between the neurotransmitters… hmm maybe I could boost the signal to at least contact land and air animals rather than just aquatic life." A crazed smirk started to grow across Xander's face as he spoke and then found himself humming.

Xander's fingers started to fly over the keyboard, and the clacking sounds of depressed keys became a staccato that sounded more like raindrops on a tin roof. Xander's hummed tune turned into a whistle that soared and climbed and seemed to swirl and twist around the counterpoint beat of his fingers on the keyboard. While Xander worked, a palpable air of power seemed to twist around Xander as his Spark came to the forefront and the chaotic creative force of the universe seemed to come off of Xander in waves.

Unnoticed by Xander the heads in the "Think Tank" began to be affected by the power of Xander's Spark as the pure imaginative power was contagious. Suddenly Dr. Heimer had his eureka moment and figured out the correct protein molecule chain that would not only block the breakdown of cellular tissues due to the Ebola virus, but also enable the body to fight back against it. The brain of Veronica Cale, who in another dimension would have become the president of Oolong Island, developed a way of combining Kryptonian crystal technology with Xander's nano-clank technology to upgrade the computing power of Xander's AI's and the Bug Baron developed microscopic micro-mites that could even penetrate the dense tissues of Kryptonian beings. The other floating heads of the scientists and evil geniuses were similarly affected and in the space of a minute a new and improved mousetrap was created, the formula for Greek Fire was rediscovered and the other evil geniuses came up with the monstrous weapons of mass destruction known as "Reality TV" and "Britney Spears."

All of this was completely ignored by Xander as he programmed his idea into the computer and the spinning three dimensional model of his brain showed where little molecular level mesh screens would be created by his nano-clanks to hopefully help boost and project Xander's aquatic telepathic skills beyond the simple minds of sea creatures and to those that walked or flew over the land.

"Ah ha! That should do it." Xander shouted with a maniacal smile on his face as he hit the enter button and waited… Only no electrocution happened.

"Yes! Bwa HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Xander pumped his fist and hopped out of his chair before doing a fast snoopy dance, his feet quickly scooting about as the long wires dangled and bounced around from their place attached to the kitchen sieve strapped to Xander's head.

"Did it work?" The head of Yuri questioned, interrupting Xander's happy dance.

Xander turned towards the bodiless head with a huge smirk pasted across Xander's face. "I don't know, but I'm just happy to not get electrocuted this time. Anyway, let's check it out." Xander said before skipping over to a metal table set up about fifteen feet from the computer.

Xander made it about ten feet before the cables attached to his makeshift helmet reached their limit and Xander was suddenly jerked back at the neck due to the limit.

"Doght! Stupid helmet." Xander cursed as he quickly unstrapped his helmet and threw it to the ground before scurrying over to the metal table, and gave his attention to the sheet covered stack of cages set on top of said table.

With a fast jerk of his hand Xander whipped off the sheet to expose several cages of birds; canaries, a cockatoo, a former suicide bomber partridge from the New Mechanicsburg Chateau, and a European and an African Swallow.

Xander squinted at the birds and thought hard, _'__BOW__TO__MY__WILL!__'_ Xander broadcast his telepathy with everything he could.

The birds didn't seem to notice Xander's will let alone want to bow to it.

The canaries sang to each other, the cockatoo that had lived in the Jäger's barracks started to curse a blue streak, the partridge's eye seemed to twitch and it flailed its wings every now and then, and the European and African Swallows remained seated while gripping the husks of the coconuts that somebody had put in their cages.

Xander frowned and tried again, _'__You __will __all __serve __my __will __and __do __what __I __think! __Follow __the __Will __of __Xander!__'_ Xander broadcast from his mind again, only to get no reply from the partridge, canaries or swallows. The Cockatoo on the other hand stated, "Screw datz, Arghz, my legz vhy must you bite me there!" However Xander realized that the bird was just copying something the bird had no doubt heard back at the barracks.

"Well damn it." Xander cursed and frowned.

"Damn it! Damn it!" The cockatoo echoed back, and Xander just glared at the bird to no effect.

"It appears your genius is not as powerful as mine. And now you must go back to the drawing board." The smug voice of Yuri issued out of the Think Tank.

Xander turned to glare at the smirking head that floated in its bubble.

"Bob, Yuri needs some more Small Small World." Xander malevolently spat with a glare towards the head.

"NOOOOOO!" Yuri screamed as the music started to play and the mechanical arm pulled Yuri's enclosure back into the depths of the think tank.

Xander just stared quietly at the tank till finally he let out a long sigh and his shoulders sagged.

"Oh well, not every experiment can be a success." Xander groused before waving his arm in the air.

A holographic display of the date and time appeared at Xander's gesture, and a small smile crept across Xander's face.

"Well at least I get to go screw with Lex Luthor again. It's time to kick Luthor in the balls and send those demons a little gift." Xander said to himself as his smile turned evil and his clothing rippled until Xander was encased in his full black nano-clank armor.

"But first, to the Armory. I'm going to need my Boom-Stick." Xander said behind his helmet, and with a snap Xander disappeared through a black portal.

* * *

Meanwhile outside Castle Bob in its seat on top of the Romanian mountains the sun was shining and spring was in the air. The myriad wildlife that filled the mountainous forests and open plains of the Empire of The Leviathan frolicked and played. The winter was over and all of those animals that hibernated or had hidden through most of the snowy months now came out to gorge on fresh greenery and to forage for the food that was now abundant.

These actions were no different for the squirrels, rats, rabbits and other rodents that populated the land that was under Xander's control. That is until an almost oppressive wave of mental commands blasted through their little furry minds, '_BOW __TO __MY __WILL!_ _You __will __all __serve __my __will __and __do __what __I__t hink! __Follow __the __Will __of __Xander!_'

Rabbits twitched their noses and hurried home to their burrows, the Squirrels turned to each other and began chattering to one another and the rats and ground burrowing rodents started to gather en-mass.

"Squeeky squeaken chit chit!" One squirrel announced to the other with a crazed look in its eyes, which roughly translates to "NUTS FOR THE NUT GOD!"

"Squeeky squeeker chitter chat!" The other squirrel replied resolutely, which translated to "The Nut-God's Will Be Done!"

And throughout Romania and the surrounding provinces of The Leviathan's Empire, the rodents gathered to build an army fitting for their chaotic Nut-God. Xander's unknowing actions and supposedly failed experiment had once again drastically affected his adopted dimension. The rodents' swiftly dawning crusade would echo through the annals of animal history for eons to come.

* * *

At the same time half way around the world, Lex Luthor's corporate jet was just landing at the Cincinnati Ohio airport before it quickly taxied to a private parking spot set before a LexCorp hanger. The red carpeted stairs to the luxury jet unfolded and Lex Luthor immediately exited to be followed by his right hand woman; Mercy.

"So you say that the metal case the team has discovered is covered in alien script of some kind?" Lex questioned loudly as he made his way down the stairs and towards a large helicopter that already had its blades spinning; ready for Lex Luthor's arrival.

"Yes Lex." Mercy yelled back over the sound of the helicopter as the pair ducked down to clear the blades and entered the large helicopter with the LexCorp logo on the side. The closing of the door shut out the loud sounds of the chopping blades and the craft immediately seemed to tilt forward at an angle from the ground and took off as soon as Lex and Mercy found their seats.

"Thus far our linguists have only been able to translate a few words suggesting that it is a crypt of some kind for the ultimate weapon, something that couldn't be stopped or something or other." Mercy explained as the corn fields and forested areas quickly zipped by on the ground below as the heavy turbine engines of the helicopter quickly propelled them towards the dig site.

"Excellent." Lex stated simply with his deep voice as a smirk came across his face. Lex Luthor took a glance out the window and smirked down at the farm fields that were passing by while he contemplated the fact that the little people down there below him were going about their lives, totally unaware that buried beneath their fields was a weapon that could potentially help Lex rid the world of Superman once and for all.

"Heh heh, I find it fitting to use an alien weapon to destroy the alien already present on this planet." Lex stated smugly before turning to face Mercy with a smirk on his face. "We will have to see how the last son of Krypton enjoys facing the ultimate weapon that fell from the stars."

Mercy smirked a bit evilly back at her boss, "Yes sir." She stated while mirroring Lex's thoughts on the matter; Superman had hindered her tasks for her boss time and time again and she didn't especially like the goody-two-shoes hero of Metropolis.

"Mr. Luthor, we'll be landing in two minutes." Announced the pilot over the speakers in the passenger compartment where Lex and Mercy sat.

Neither Lex or Mercy made any reaction that they heard the announcement but rather continued to smirk out the window as they waited to land at the site of the LexCorp "natural resource exploratory dig;" at least that was the excuse that the Lex Luthor's company had given to the farmer whose field was being dug up.

The helicopter touched down next to a large dirt hole that led into the ground with a set of metal stairs set up like scaffolding that disappeared down the hole. Lex and Mercy left the helicopter without so much as a thank you or goodbye to the pilot and the villain industrialist and his assistant made their way down the metal steps into the tunnel.

The daylight was soon left behind and tracks of red lights lit the path as electrical wires, air tubing and fiber optic cables ran along the line of lights that spanned the ceiling of the reinforced tunnel into the earth. Both Mercy and Lex noted several dark side-passages on different levels as they progressed downwards, each with signs on the walls stating that the side passages led to supply chambers or generator and computer rooms. However the duo continued ever downwards past the chambers until they reached the bottom of the stairs and a giant room that had been reinforced with concrete sprayed on the walls and ceiling.

In the center of the spacious room was a large meteorite like rock that seemed to jut crystalline like growths centered around a matte grey coffin shaped box that appeared hinged down the middle of its twenty foot tall by ten foot wide bulk. Lex smirked and moved towards the coffin, ignoring the scores of archeologists that crowded around the room with computers. Several tweed wearing academics were standing on tall step ladders that rested in front of the grey crypt; they were studying the squiggles and boxes that appeared to be words on the front of the coffin.

"Mercy, have them cut it open, I want to see what's inside." Lex commanded loudly, and the scientists and academics all turned to look at Lex Luthor with stunned looks on their faces.

"But Sir!" One of the older looking academics cried out, "We haven't finished studying the inscriptions. Cutting it open will ruin them and we have no idea of what we could be unleashing on the world. From what we have been able to translate, the contents of that box destroyed the world that it came from. You could doom us all by opening it!"

Lex firmly pushed the doctor out of the way and then picked up the step ladder that was standing in front of the crate and threw it to the side so that nothing was stopping him from fully reviewing the product from his dig.

"Doctor, I didn't pay you to be my conscious. I paid you to find this crypt and to dig it up. Now I suggest you get your people back and out of my way. Otherwise you might find not only your grant money disappearing but your University shut down and you and your associates put on a black list never to work again." Lex finished with a glare at the older professor who was leading the dig and that had just cautioned against opening the metal coffin.

The academics and workers quickly scattered away from the meteorite and the metal crypt while Lex's features varied between glares and smirks as his thoughts switched back and forth between frustration on waiting to see what was inside to dwelling on the soon to be doom of Superman.

Time seemed to roll by terribly slowly, and after five minutes the cutting lasers had still not been brought forward to cut into the crypt.

"Where are those damn cutting lasers?" Lex finally cursed in frustration and turned around to look back towards the stairs, only to see a slight shimmer in the air.

Lex realized that something wasn't right with that shimmer an instant before said shimmer shot forward and Lex found himself being picked up off the ground with a foot planted firmly between his legs as a crunching sound came from the industrialist's crotch.

"Hnnnnggghhh." Lex grunted with pain as the blow to his twig and berries seemed to pull all color from Lex's face and immediately made him break out in a cold sweat before collapsing to the ground to puke.

Everyone paused stunned, as a shimmering chameleon like invisibility cloaked figure stepped forwards, stomping on Lex's chest and driving the air out of the billionaire; the outline of the figure was moving quickly enough that it was clear to those who had been witness to Lex Luthor's ignoble takedown. Even Mercy was too stunned by the improbability of the attack to intercede on Lex's behalf, but her mind still took in the humanoid outline of the camouflaged figure.

Before anybody could move to help, the figure raised something in the air, and the quick motion allowed the witnesses to view some sort of long steel cylinder, right before said cylinder let go with an ear rattling "ZAP."

A bright blue glowing orb of energy shot across the room, hitting smack dab into meteorite and crypt before exploding with a massive "KA-BOOM," only for the meteor and a large portion of the floor to disappear.

The shimmering form turned quickly and lashed out with a foot, right into Lex Luthor's forehead.

The last thing Lex heard before darkness claimed him was a deep voice chuckling at him and stating, "Tough luck Lex, today's not going to be Superman's Doomsday after all. But your day is coming soon."

With that, Lex Luthor lost consciousness due to the blow to his head.

* * *

Gricknard the horrible, as his name translated from the Demon language into English, was the only Elder demon to survive the death of their Hell God. The Grey Armored warrior had come and stolen the fleshy soft pink-skinned creatures away and so the graylings and sole remaining hulking red skinned demon had gone hungry as not even the flesh of the Old One had been left after the end of the battle.

Gricknard looked out over the massive lava filled crater that had once been the valley where the city of the pink ones had appeared and again disappeared. That city had disappeared before Gricknard could feast on the pink ones organs and sacrifice their souls to the Hell God, and Gricknard didn't like that at all. Gricknard was angry, Gricknard was hungry, and the flesh of the minor grayling demons that he feasted on was not as succulent as the promised pink flesh of the soft ones. Gricknard didn't know how he would do it, he didn't care how it happened, but he swore that some day he would find the Grey Armored one and feast on the flesh hidden beneath that hard shell.

"KA-BOOOM!" An explosive sound rocked the air, and Gricknard looked up just in time to realize something was plummeting towards him, giving the large demon just enough time to dodge out of the way while ignoring the ten foot tall greylings that were crushed under the weight of the suddenly appearing intruder.

Gricknard smashed into several of the smaller grey skinned demons, using their hides to cushion the impact of his leaping out of the way. The hulking red horned demon shoved his way off the minions to turn and see what had almost crushed him.

"Grrrrr-argh? Ddrrrrckaknaugh." Gricknard growled and stomped toward the structure, his growl indicating that he was confused, yet he smelled dead flesh and had first rights to it.

Walking up to the front of the cracked rock formation, a metal shell separated the tall red tattooed demon from the flesh that he smelled inside.

Gricknard ignored the squiggly writing that adorned the outside of the shell as his clawed fists shot forward to dig into the seam that hinged down the metal shell; he was fully focused on the awaiting flesh inside.

Strength augmented by demonic magic sheared through the crypt like paper, and a large green covered shape bound in thick metal chains was left lying before Gricknard. With a second grunt, Gricknard severed the thick metal cables that ringed the corpse before him, as the red skinned demon smelled dead flesh ripe for the salvaging.

Claws shredded, and the protective suit around the corpse disappeared like a child's gift-wrapped toy on Christmas morning, only to expose a hulking figure as tall as Gricknard but wider and a great deal more muscular. This was no small dead pink skin. This corpse was grey with scraggly grey hair on its head and sharp boney structures jutting from its face, fists, elbows, shins and chest.

Suddenly the corpse's eyes shot open and Gricknard felt a sudden flash of fear before the red skinned demon found its guts spattered across the ground.

Doomsday had come to hell, and the hell dimension would learn that there were worse horrors than Old Ones to deal with. The monster that, in another time and dimension, would have killed Superman, would have defeated Darkseid and which had already depopulated entire planets of life, the ultimate killing machine that could not be killed, Doomsday, had been unleashed on hell.

Thus just as Gricknard had sworn he would kill the Grey Armored one, Xander showed that he hadn't forgotten about the demons and their hell dimension either.

* * *

Wonder Woman sat alone in the Watchtower's darkened cafeteria gazing out the large bay window at Earth glittering in the distance, a cold cup of coffee ignored in front of her. Diana had been sitting in the same position, enjoying the solace and quiet of space as she tried to figure out what she was to do given her newest problem, namely her mother Queen Hippolyta.

Never before had the Queen of the Amazons been ignored by the Gods, but that is exactly what had happened. The portents and warning omens from the Gods of Olympus had been there even before Hippolyta, Diana and the two Amazon tribes had headed to see The Leviathan. The priestesses had noted that the traditional sacrifices given to the Goddesses Hera and Artemis had been slow to light, and it seemed like they took an exceptionally long time to burn and waft up to the gods when Hippolyta had presented the sacrifices on the Amazons' return to their home dimension. This had been further distinguished by the fact that the gift of Twinkies as a burnt offering had ignited and disappeared much quicker than they should have, especially compared to the normal, traditional sacrifices. Still, other warnings were present. Owls were witnessed to hover over Paradise Island in flocks, where they would seem to follow the Queen around and sitting and staring balefully at Hippolyta, suggesting that Athena was not happy with the Queen of the Amazons. These were all the warnings before the Amazons had visited The Leviathan. However what had happened after the Themyscirian Amazons, alone and without their sister tribe, returned. Well, after they returned the signs were truly troubling.

For three days Themyscira was covered with a thick blanket of clouds that neither moved nor deposited rains. The winds that normally refreshed the island refused to blow, the waves literally stopped lapping against the shores of the island, and instead everything was still and stale as the Gods had seemingly taken their blessing away from the island that had once been dubbed Paradise. Add to that was the fact that the Gods refused to reply to Hippolyta's entreaties at their temples, they outright refused all of Hippolyta's sacrifices, and thus Wonder Woman was truly troubled.

'_I __have __never __seen __my __mother __act __so __dishonorably, __not __to __allies __or __to __our __sisters. __She __has __truly __lost __her __way __from __the __path __of __peace __and __goodwill __that __the __Gods__' __commanded __of __the __Amazons.__' _Diana thought to herself darkly as she remembered her mother's tirade against The Leviathan and even The Grey Knight upon returning to Themyscira. Wonder Woman was at a loss at what to do so she simply stared at the blue orb of Earth slowly passing by below her and the station she was on.

Just as Wonder Woman contemplated that troubling thought, the lights in the cafeteria flipped on and Wonder Woman had to blink several times to clear the spots that came to her eyes after having them adjusted to the dark for so long.

"Hey Skeets, let's check to see if they have any of those brownies left over from lunch." Booster Gold stated as the blue and gold wearing male hero and his ever present floating egg shaped robotic sidekick from the future moved into the Watchtower's cafeteria.

Looking around, Booster noticed Wonder Woman sitting alone in the cafeteria at the same time that Wonder Woman cleared the spots from her eyes and looked up at the young hero.

"Oh, I'm sorry Wonder Woman, I didn't realize anybody was in here." Booster stated a bit self consciously and rubbed the back of his neck finding that he had obviously interrupted one of the founders of the Justice League while said heroine wanted to be alone; something Booster realized based on the fact that Wonder Woman was sitting alone in the dark before he had disrupted her.

Wonder Woman took in a deep breath of air through her nose before releasing it with a sigh and shaking her head. "Do not worry about it Booster. I doubt my thoughts would have leant me an answer anytime soon." With that Wonder Woman turned her attention away from Booster Gold and back to planet Earth hovering outside the large window.

Booster looked at Wonder Woman, and puffed up his chest as if he was going to come up with some bravado answer, only to see a frown cross her beautiful face as she seemed to ignore him. Sighing to himself, and steeling his features, Booster strode across the large room and took a seat across the table from Wonder Woman.

"Tell me what's going on and maybe I can help." Booster stated without any of his normal humor or grandstanding in his voice, just pure sincerity.

Wonder Women blinked and turned to look at Booster sitting across from her. "Excuse me, what?" She questioned, confused by Booster's suddenly mature bearing and statement.

Booster gave Wonder Woman a half smile and a shrug of his shoulders before answering. "Hey, I know I come across as being pretty full of myself and almost comedic most of the times, but I have a serious side too. Besides, I come from the future, and though I don't like to talk about it most of the time so as not to cause a paradox, perhaps I can help you figure out a solution to whatever is bothering you?"

Diana stared at Booster, wondering if he was being real, but then she realized the seriousness in his look and in his words, so she shrugged and sighed again before answering.

"Well it all started with The Leviathan." Wonder Woman began.

"Well that's your first problem there." Booster interrupted with a shake of his head, "Everything surrounding The Leviathan is a mystery, and everything changes where he is involved."

"Wait, what?" Wonder Woman questioned, her chain of thoughts interrupted by Booster's statement.

"Affirmative," Stated Skeets. "My records are exact up to and including all world leaders on twenty four different planets and were up to date until the mid 25th century, yet my databanks hold no records of The Leviathan existing nor his Empire. He is an anomaly, and chaos and changes to history seem to spawn around anything he touches. The history of the future that we come from is not the one that we are living." The floating egg shaped robot Skeets stated from his place hovering above Boosters shoulder and the table the two heroes were sitting at.

Wonder Woman looked from Skeets, to Booster, and then back and forth one more time before shaking her head. "That's just the thing though; it isn't The Leviathan that is really the problem but my mother Queen Hippolyta." Diana stated, causing both Booster and Skeets to quietly listen and wait for Wonder Woman to continue.

"I've never, I just can't, I don't understand what has happened to the woman who raised me to honor others and to seek peace and diplomacy first above angering others." Wonder Woman said with a shake of her head that sent her dark locks swinging while she gestured with her hand. "I mean, the Gods gifted me to her, breathed life into me because of her faithfulness to them and the Gods' pursuit of peace for both the Amazons and Man's world. And yet here she is blackening the memory of the man who died to save not only her life but that of my entire nation. Not only that, but she threatens to anger a being that could single handedly destroy my people and our entire way of life, all because of her pride and her refusal to follow the path of peace or let go of grudges and anger." Wonder Woman finished her tirade with frustration and angst clearly painted on her face as she turned to Booster to see if he or his robot had any words of wisdom.

Booster Gold sat and looked at Wonder Woman silently, before running his hand through the blonde mop of hair that stuck out of his blue mask while looking down at the table in thought. Booster then turned to Skeets, "Anything from your side?" Booster questioned.

"Negative sir, my databases are no help here." Skeets stated in his mechanical voice.

Booster then turned to Wonder Woman and sighed before answering, "I wish I had some words of wisdom from the future to answer your problem, but there is only one thing I can tell you." Booster stated while looking Wonder Woman right in the eyes.

"I know you should follow your heart." Booster stated, and then continued quickly as he saw Wonder Woman was about to inquire as to what he meant. "Now hear me out Princess. I have only been a member of the Justice League for a short period of time now, but in the future you were one of my heroes." Booster answered honestly.

Wonder Woman looked at him quizzically, but nodded at him to continue.

"What I mean is that you were remembered even in my time as one one of the greatest heroes of this time… of any time. But you weren't remembered as much as for your strength or even magical tools gifted by the Greek Gods, but for your heart." Booster explained.

Wonder Woman merely raised an eyebrow in question, and Booster smiled an honest smile in return.

"Honestly, if there was one thing that always got to me was how you thought things out and stayed true to not only your beliefs, but what your heart told you was right." Booster replied, gesturing towards Diana and explaining, "No matter the situation you always tried to choose what you felt was right over what may be easy; over what might have been the political thing to do, you chose the right and good thing to do. So I think that if you follow your heart on this matter then I know you can figure out what you need to do to fix this and make it right." Booster Gold finished answering her unasked question and waited for her to reply.

Wonder Woman in turn just looked at Booster silently, and he could see multiple expressions filter across her face as the thoughts seemed to fly through her mind. Finally Diana looked down at the table before looking back at Booster and smiling as she decided what she needed to do to fix this situation and to save her people. She had decided to do what was right, versus what was easy.

"Thanks Booster." Wonder Woman stated as she pushed chair back and stood up from the table while smiling down at the male hero from the future. "I know what to do now and just needed the push in the right direction."

With that, she marched resolutely towards the exit to the cafeteria, only to stop and turn back to address Booster Gold with a smile on her face.

"You know what? You're a lot more mature than people really think you are. Thank you." Wonder Woman finished, then with a regal pivot on her heel she marched off towards the teleporter that would take her back to Earth.

Booster Gold just smiled after the departing Wonder Woman, only relaxing and letting out a big breath of air that he had been holding in until she left.

"Phew, glad that's over with." Booster said with a smile to his robot Skeets. "Now let's go see about getting those brownies that were left over from lunch, I'm sure they should hide the taste of the Chocolax chocolate laxatives well enough that Plasticman won't know what hit him." Booster finished with a smirk as he jumped out of his seat and scurried back into the kitchen of the Watchtower's cafeteria, his robot Skeets loyally floating along behind.

* * *

Diana, Princess and Champion of the Amazons of Themyscira, transported directly from the Watchtower to the shores of Themyscira, and as soon as she stepped down on the sand of the beach a lone beam of sunlight pierced the stagnant cloud cover and shined down on Wonder Woman.

Startled, Wonder Woman looked up at the light, and she felt the love and welcome of the her Gods shine down on her from the light.

Diana immediately dropped to her knees and announced out loud to the air around her in ancient Greek, "Thank you for your blessing on what I am about to do. My heart breaks at its necessity, but I know it is the right thing to do."

She was immediately answered by a warm breeze that blew off the sea and playfully tousled Diana's hair yet touched nothing else around her.

"So be it." Diana stated as she felt her purpose blessed, and so she steeled her features as she marched up the beach.

Voices cried out in greeting from her sister Amazons, but Wonder Woman remained focused straight ahead at the palace that was in front of her as she drew closer to the upcoming confrontation.

It only took a few moments, but the palpable air of determination that seemed to surround the Themyscirian Champion caused the crowds of women to quiet and then gather and follow after their Princess as she marched forward. If the look on Wonder Woman's face and the tilt of the Champion's shoulder's wasn't enough, then the solid ray of light that pierced the clouds and followed Diana, and only Diana, was enough to let the Amazons know that something of great importantance was happening.

Marching up to the Palace gateway into the Amazon throne room and the two large doors at its threshold, a guard attempted to bar Diana's way.

"I'm sorry Princess, but the Queen left orders not to be disturbed…" The guard started to say, only for Diana to reach forward in a blur and grab the guard by both shoulders and pick the elite royal guard up into the air and set the guard aside before Diana moved towards the door.

"Stop!" The Guard yelled out and attempted to intercept Diana with the haft of the guard's spear, only for Diana to rip the spear from the warrior's grasp and then turn a glare of such power on the royal guard that the Amazon could do nothing but back down.

Stolen spear in hand, Diana pushed against the double doors, then with a heave she used her full God-given super strength to push, throwing both doors open and off their hinges where they slammed into the ground and slid across the floor.

Hippolyta looked up stunned from her throne where the Queen had been seated, only to frown and glare at her daughter as Diana marched in and stood before the dais to the throne.

"I wish to be alone daughter, and though you are my Champion and a Princess, you do not have the right to come into the throne room when the Queen does not allow it." Hippolyta stated firmly to her daughter.

"Then we will have to see about changing who is Queen of the Amazons." Diana said, determination firm in her features as she ground the bottom of the spear into the ground and faced her mother fiercely.

Hippolyta was stunned speechless and wide eyed, her mouth dropping open for a second before clicking shut. Then with a glare Hippolyta looked at her daughter and questioned, "You would choose to fight your own mother for the right to rule?"

Diana answered immediately, "I do not want to, but it is the right thing to do given that you have truly lost your way in following the God's will, and it is their will that a change happen for our people. So Yes, I Diana of Themyscira challenge you Hippolyta for the right to rule the Amazon nation as its Queen." Diana stated, and from behind Diana the crowds of Amazons gathered at the doors gasped at what they heard.

Hippolyta looked torn between anger and sorrow at her daughter's statement, but then with a nod of her head the current Queen answered in a commanding tone as she stared into her daughter's eyes, "So be it, the challenge by combat will start at dawn tomorrow, and may the Gods judge the rightful Queen of the Amazons."

"So be it." Diana stated solemnly as she stared back into her mother's eyes, the sadness in Wonder Woman's eyes mixed with the resolve that Diana held as she knew she was doing what was right, not what was easy.

* * *

Diplomatic missions, embassies in other words, are governed under an interesting set of laws by which the diplomatic mission's country gains rights and protections from the sovereign state upon which the mission is built. Traditionally speaking, an embassy is usually housed in a country's capital, but like the Amazon Embassy in New York City, this is not always the case. However, wherever these diplomatic missions are housed, they are always held separate and immune from many of the host countries laws.

Now most embassies are buildings that can vary in size and shape given the country of origin's design preferences, but typically they consist of a compound or an office building with floors above ground and perhaps basements below ground. Just like every other "normal" building around the Embassy, "usually" the only delineating feature of the Diplomatic mission was the separation of laws and perhaps a flag or a sign on the building.

The Leviathan, however, did not do "normal", and Xander was anything but "usual."

Evening was falling on Gotham city, and the smoggy dark clouds of the cold night had already smothered the city in their dank misty depths that forever made Gotham's alleys and lower streets some of the darkest and most dangerous in the world. Besides the occasional street light or passing headlights of a car, the only other illumination in the Gotham night were occasional police helicopter or the double spotlight equipped automated police blimps that traveled about like so many two eyed watchmen ineffectively trying to patrol the dangerous streets below. Here they spotlighted a car that was being robbed, over there a bunch of thugs dressed like clowns caused a brawl with a rival gang, and in the distance police sirens were punctuated by the sounds of car alarms and the occasional bank or building alarm going off. This is the scene that the Embassy for the Empire of The Leviathan entered into.

The first warning to the citizens of Gotham that the Embassy had arrived was a deep rumbling that came from the above the clouds and seemed to vibrate in the chests of every man, woman and child in the buildings of downtown Gotham. The rumble grew louder and louder, until Police Commissioner Gordon's coffee cup rattled right off the edge of his desk and crashed to the floor, drawing his attention away from the reports he had been reading and had him sprinting for the roof of the police precinct.

Running to the roof Commissioner Gordon threw open the door and looked around quickly to try and find the source of the rumbling, as the very air seemed to vibrate with the sound and it was almost painful in his eardrums. Looking out over the dark city the spotlight beams of the police blimps were frantically searching every which way, and the few police helicopters on duty circled frantically while panning their own spotlights on the clouds above.

Not wanting to take a chance, Gordon swung around to the spotlight behind him and flipped the large incandescent spotlight on, where suddenly an image of a bat was illuminated on the clouds above… just as the clouds themselves seemed to roil and churn and bubble.

"Dear Lord." Commissioner Gordon's mouth dropped open, and he said the first thing that came to mind as suddenly the bottom, and then the sides of an incredibly large Zeppelin powered its way out of the smoggy clouds, the bat symbol illuminating and reflecting off of a semi-featureless helmeted face emblazoned on the front of the colossal airship.

As it breached the cloud cover of Gotham's night, every blimp and police helicopter turned their spotlights on the massive ebony airship as it powered its way down out of the sky. A gold three headed dragon emblazoned on its side and reflected the light from the spotlights as the some three hundred meter long by one hundred meter high airship fully cleared the cloud cover and came to rest over the large lot that had been set aside for the new Embassy for the Empire of The Leviathan.

This airship was the newly christened Castle Wulfenbach, pulled from Xander's Heterodyne memories and packed full of every scientific gadget and gizmo he and his scientists could think of. The Embassy was literally a floating fortress. And with the arrival of the castle, The Leviathan had officially come to the United States. As the giant airship dropped a huge anchor out of the sky to plow into the ground of the open lot, and black armored figures, controlling their decent with jet packs, trailed ropes down to the ground below, Commissioner Gordon knew that this was going to change things.

Little did Commissioner Gordon know, but that with Xander placing his Embassy here in the dark city, that it was assured that Gotham would never be the same again.

* * *

**AN: Ok, so much shorter chapter than before but a lot of important stuff happening here. I hope you enjoy the chapter as much as I did writing it. It's time for Xander to tangle with some of Batman's foes as well as more regular villains and heroes, and it's time for this story to pick up a lot of speed in some ways. I don't know about you, but I can't wait, Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ahem, sorry. So… thoughts?**


	40. Chapter 40: Plants, Animals and People

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: It's been awhile since I put out a chapter. First it was the PlayStation three accident (yeah, laugh it up, but video gaming is a dangerous sport I tell you!) then I was traveling for work for 7 weeks, then part of that time was the Thanksgiving holiday and family, so sorry but real life comes first before story time. Then to add insult to injury, I had a cold that went to my ears and I ended up with a burst ear drum, so yeah, didn't feel like writing. Oh well, c'est la vie. I have the week after Christmas off from work so if I can connect with my beta readers then there should, hypothetically speaking, be a couple updated chapters coming out in a row (I'm hoping to make it a Christmas and New Year's Eve gift to you all.) That said, on with the show and time for some fun in Gotham City!**

**AN-Update: Sorry for the multiple update notifications, but Fanfiction is taking all of the spaces out of anything written in italics, which makes it a pain in the arse to fix. Here is the new chapter. Cheers!**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 40: Plants, Animals and People**

"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."

~A. Whitney Brown

The waves of the crystal blue waters washed up on the shores of the white sand beaches of Themyscira But it was not the scenic view that the throngs of Amazons upon the shore were there for. They waited on the dawn of a new day, a day that came with the promise of spilled blood.

Finally the sun's corona peaked above the horizon, and the normally peaceful and beautiful setting was disturbed by one word.

"Begin." The high priestess of Athena stated, only to be drowned out by the sound of immediate sword clashes.

Gold embossed shields clanged together as Hippolyta and her daughter Diana met in a joint bashing of shields, only for Diana's sword to slice underneath the joined shields to be met by Hippolyta's sword and guided away from the current Queen's stomach.

Diana allowed the momentum of her mother's parry to part the two combatants, and then Diana and her mother circled each other gracefully and powerfully like two predatory cats. Both of the dark haired combatants showed their perfect combination of muscle and feminine curves, the match of grace and softness, absolute beauty coupled with warrior training and killer intent. Muscles flexed and rippled underneath their curves as both combatants were poised to capitalize on any weakness or perceived action by the other.

Their leather sandaled feet padded softly in the moisture hardened sand of the beach as both matching leather armored combatants stared at each other while circling.

"So it's come to this, do you truly want to kill me daughter?" Hippolyta questioned harshly to her daughter, noticing the brief flinch in Diana's eyes before seeing a look of determination steel across Wonder Woman's face.

"No mother, I don't want to kill you, but I have to do the right thing and the wisdom that you once held in our quest for peace has been lost as you aged." Diana answered.

"Aged?" Hippolyta growled and her eyes flashed as she charged her daughter. "I'll show you age's advantage." Hippolyta yelled as she closed with her daughter with a flurry of blows; apparently speaking of a woman's age was a bad idea, even with immortal women.

Hippolyta led off with a high blow that Diana met with her own sword. A side thrust slid off of Diana's shield before Hippolyta skillfully changed the angle of the thrust to slide along the bottom of Diana's sword to send a gash across the top of Diana's planted thigh.

"Gah." Diana grunted as her mother's sword bit into the top of her thigh and sent a splatter of blood across the inside of Diana's shield. Wonder Woman thrust forward with her shield as her leg gave a little at the pain, and fortunately the pressure of the shield blow pushed Hippolyta back to where the Queen couldn't capitalize on Diana's injury.

Hippolyta smirked over the top of her shield as she circled her wounded daughter, "You mention age, but my age has taught me a few tricks. I might have taught you everything that you know, but I haven't taught you everything that I know." The Queen said with a smirk as she finished circling around the hobbled Diana and dashed forward to engage Wonder Woman.

A flurry of blades clashed again as both combatants spun and clashed, shields and swords spinning and clanging together. Hippolyta noticed Diana seemed to plant her weight on her injured leg, and so the Queen ducked under a blow and lashed out at the apparently weakened leg.

Hippolyta had only a moment of realization that she had been tricked as Diana raised her foot just high enough to clear her mother's blade before Wonder Woman stomped down on the flat of Hippolyta's blade. Hippolyta pushed backwards with both of her legs, freeing her sword and diving backwards, but not fast enough to dodge the pommel of Diana's sword that bashed into the side of the Queen's eyebrow and right cheekbone.

Hippolyta reeled back from the power of the blow and turned her backwards dive into a roll that left the Queen hopping to her feet with sand sticking to the sheen of sweat that covered her body. Hippolyta gained her feet and shook her head before feeling a hot trickle of moisture seep into her right eye and down her cheek. Hippolyta looked up to see that Diana was simply standing there watching resolutely, and Hippolyta took the moment to wipe her face with the back of her sword arm, only for said arm to come back colored red from the Queen's spilled blood.

"You may have taught me everything I knew when I left Themyscira for my mission in Man's World, but I have learned much from the warriors of that world." Diana stated before giving her sword hand a flick that had droplets of the Queen's blood falling to stain the white sand beach at Diana's feet.

Hippolyta glared, "Lies and trickery are all that you could have learned from Men, have you so quickly forgotten the lessons of our past?" The Queen spat and crouched to begin circling again with Diana.

Diana growled in return, "Your pride and hatred are talking again mother, or have you so quickly forgotten the sacrifice of the Grey Knight for our people? The man, whom from all accounts, fought with nothing but honor and answered all of your scorn with noble words and deeds. The man who fed your hungry, healed your sick, and slayed your enemies at the sake of his own life?" Diana attacked with her words and followed up with sword blows.

Parry, thrust, thrust and parry, both warriors swung and swung again, and every time steel met steel with neither gaining ground while both circled on the shore.

"One example! One example among millions!" Hippolyta yelled back at her daughter as the strength of the blows increased with the Queen's anger as she tried to cover for the guilt that she felt at her daughter's words, for in the Queen's own heart the voice of guilt weakened the Queen's resolve.

A look of absolute righteous anger came across Diana's face.

"You are wrong!" Diana clashed forward with her shield repeatedly bashing back her mother and forcing the Queen to give ground.

"Every day the heroes of the Justice League go out to help those who cannot help themselves, and rulers such as The Leviathan keep their word to protect the innocent even when it means personally tracking down the perpetrators or stopping the conflicts that have raged for years. The Leviathan sent aid to our people when they were dying, and you basically spat in his helmeted face!" Diana stated as she literally beat her mother backwards into the surf and the sea with both her words and her actions.

Every one of Diana's words beat at Hippolyta's heart, matching the ferocity of Diana's physical attacks. Hippolyta desperately tried to keep back the rage of her daughter, but the words of her daughter seemed to sap the Queen's strength as the truth in them rang clear. After all, Hippolyta may have hated men but she still knew the ringing of truth when it came from the voice of a woman such as her daughter.

"You were the one who taught me honor!" Diana shouted as she slammed her shield hard enough that Hippolyta's own shield knocked into the queen's forehead and made the queen falter.

"You were the one that taught me to love peace above all else!" Diana's yanked her shield to the side, catching Hippolyta's shield and flinging the queen's shield off of Hippolyta's arm.

"You were the one that taught me to do what was right over what was easy!" Diana shouted as she hammered blows down on the defending queen's sword, driving Hippolyta back until the sea was up to the queen's thighs. By this time, blood was freely seeping from Hippolyta's face and blinding the Queen in one eye, the other eye had lost the look of anger and now frantically watched as Princess Diana attacked ferociously.

"But you have forgotten everything that you taught me!" Diana finished, and with a flourish and a spin of the blade, Diana's blade forced Hippolyta's blade up and around before flinging it to the side where it slipped out of Hippolyta's grasp and disappeared into the waves.

Diana's blade ended the flourish with the tip rested right at the base of her mother's throat. A look of resolution and defiance was painted across Wonder Woman's face as she faced her defeated mother.

"Mother, you have become blinded by your hatred and allowed it to fester in your heart for hundreds of years." Diana stated commandingly, looking deep into her mother's eyes, "And with that hatred you have lost your way and the way of our people."

Hippolyta, not fully fathoming her daughter's words answered steadily, stealing herself for the blow but closing her eyes so that she wouldn't have to see it, "Then so be it, follow our way and strike down your mother and assume the role of queen."

"No!" Diana cried out angrily, the response surprising Hippolyta enough that she opened her eyes.

Hippolyta looked upon her daughter with confusion.

"Ways change, and traditions should not be used as excuses for doing what is wrong." Diana spat before the look on her face changed even while she continued to keep her mother at sword point. "Don't you understand? Can't you see it?" Diana said loudly, and waved with her shield arm at the standing tribe of Themyscirian Amazons standing silently on the shore.

"Our nation was saved by the honor of Men, but you treated those very same men with disrespect due to the actions of others in the past. It was a woman who cast our people into hell, yet still you struck out at The Leviathan and shamed our people." Diana implored her mother to understand. "You drove away the Bana-Mighdall Amazons after they fought at our tribe's side, and you were the one who endangers our entire nation by your actions to The Leviathan because of our traditions, our laws. Even the Gods have shown that they are unhappy with your actions and decisions, can't you see that even now?"

Hippolyta was stunned by her daughter's words, and was forced at the point of a sword to finally look over her actions, her decisions, her interactions. What Hippolyta found when she truly looked back at her past actions and words, well it shamed her.

Slowly Hippolyta closed her eyes and bowed her head at the pain of her daughter's words, a pain that was fully brought home due to the truth that Hippolyta finally realized. It was as if a blindfold was ripped away as Hippolyta was forced to look past her own stubborn pride and realize the fruit of her past actions.

Finally after several moments of silence, Hippolyta spoke, "You are right, and I have dishonored myself and our Nation. I do not deserve to be Queen." Hippolyta raised her head and stared her daughter in the eyes, "I love you Diana, and you have always done the right thing no matter what it cost. Now strike me down and assume the mantle of Queen." Hippolyta finished softly, the mix of sadness and love shining from her eyes towards her daughter Diana even as blood trickled down the Queen's face.

"Oh mother, I would never kill you." Diana stated as she dropped her sword and stepped forward into the deeper waters to embrace her now startled mother. Mother and daughter clung to each other as sand, blood, sweat and strings of hair stuck to each other.

"I never wanted to be Queen; I just wanted my mother back." Diana stated as she held her mother close, both tall women embracing tightly. "I wanted to remind my mother, my Queen, of the ruler that she used to be, of the woman who prayed to the Gods and was rewarded with a daughter and who raised that daughter to always do what was right versus what was easy." Diana finished and pushed her mother back to arms length so that they could see each other face to face.

Hippolyta looked back into the eyes of her daughter, and what Hippolyta showed was a look of love, of pride in Diana, a look that practically glowed despite the aftereffects of the battle. Hippolyta reached up a hand and gently cupped her daughter's jaw, and then Hippolyta stroked Diana's cheek lovingly with her thumb.

"I am so proud of you my daughter." Hippolyta said caringly, "I can always trust you to do what your heart tells you is right. I am truly sorry for my mistakes and lapses in judgment as well as not seeking your counsel when I was so wrapped up in my pride."

"I love you too mother." Wonder Woman stated, and pulled her mother back into a brief hug before pushing out to face her mother again.

Hippolyta looked quizzically at Diana and asked, "So what now? You have won."

Diana smiled back at her mother and answered, "No, I forfeit my challenge; I think you will once again make a good Queen."

With that, Diana turned to the side and held her mother's hand up above their heads at the wrist while shouting to the crowd, "I forfeit my challenge for the crown! Long live Queen Hippolyta!"

Hippolyta smiled at the surprising actions of her daughter, while around them the Amazons of Themyscira burst into cheers. Above the sound of the cheers came the sound of the breeze as the blessings of the Olympian Gods returned to Themyscira, and the sound of the fronds in the palm trees brushing together in the wind sounded the message from the Gods that the Amazons had regained the proper path.

* * *

Many hours later as evening fell over the island of Themyscira in the Caribbean Sea and the Amazons celebrated the "return" of their Queen and the renewed favor of the Gods. Many miles away to the north of the island and in the city of Gotham, a dark figure sat atop of a gargoyle looking out over the sky line of "his" city.

The smog covered and cloud filled city sky created myriad dark shadows that enclosed even the highest skyscrapers in a blanket of darkness. Though the sun had yet to fully set below the horizon yet Gotham City and its slums had already succumbed to the darkness of night as the pollution of the city shut out the light. With that loss of light came the criminals, thieves, murderers, drug dealers and low life scum who scurried out of their hidey holes like so many cockroaches rushing to feed when the kitchen light goes out.

This was Batman's playground, a seeming never ending supply of villains that needed a good beating before they were once again thrown in prison. The villains ruled the city through fear, and in turn Batman ruled the hearts of the criminals through fear. This was the cycle of life that had been present in Gotham city for many many years. However that cycle had all changed the day before. A new player had entered Gotham, one who did not fear Batman, one who did not play the game as it was supposed to be played.

Thus it was that Batman looked down from his perch on the griffon-like gargoyle that jutted from the compass point of the Wayne Enterprises building. Below Batman in the distances was the target of his ire, the bastion of the new player that had invaded HIS city without so much as a by your leave.

The large zeppelin like airship, the Embassy for the Empire of the Leviathan, floated peacefully above the streets of the city while workers on the ground scurried about constructing a giant glass and black steel elevator system that would bring people and items to and from the newly arrived hovering fortress. The mere sight of it was like nails on a chalk board to Bruce Wayne, it irritated him beyond measure that this villain, The Leviathan, could waltz into Batman's city and receive an open armed greeting from its citizens.

Bruce watched with a frown pasted across his face as the mix of black and silver clad guards, some in bulky black armor and others in sleek feminine grey winged armor, guarded the workers that scurried about the elevator structure. Suddenly Bruce's eyes saw his opening, a brief pause when the flying grey armored guards converged on a spot on the ground where a semi-truck had just accidentally backed into a series of scaffolding.

The time to do something about the invasion was now.

Leaping off of the Wayne Enterprises building, Batman went into a freefall into the shadows of the building before raising his arms, and suddenly his cape transformed into a glider that sent Bruce sailing quietly towards a large stain glass window that covered a large top portion of the airship.

Closer and closer Batman sailed until he pulled up at the last minute and gently clashed with the upper window of Castle Wulfenbach, silently enough that no human could have heard him, yet with enough force that the sticky bonding agents on Batman's feet and gloved hands connected him to the castle's large window. With that, Batman became just another shadow on the side of the castle.

"Alfred, I've arrived at the Leviathan's Embassy and am about to enter. I'll be going radio silent when I breach the building." Batman sub-vocalized over his radio system back to Alfred who was manning the Batcomputer that night.

"Very well Sir, but do be careful and I will see you when you arrive home." The voice of Alfred replied in the radio bud situated inside the ear of Batman's cowl.

"No worries Alfred, I should be in and out after I set up the microphones and surveillance equipment." Batman replied and clicked off the radio system with a touch of his thumb to the inside of his pinky finger.

Batman dangled off the glass window with one hand while he reached for his laser powered glass cutter on his belt; assorted lights and shadows hidden behind the colored glass beneath him showed that people were moving about the Embassy's many levels.

Flipping the glass cuter out of his utility belt, Batman prepared to create his entry point when an eerie and slightly deranged female voice interrupted him.

"Naughty naughty child, somebody needs a spanking… Ve have ways of dealing with interlopers like you, and zey muse of protection vill not allow you to invade this sanctum uninvited." A feminine Eastern European accented voice cackled, seemingly from all around Batman.

Bruce was startled, and he had only the time to utter, "What the?" Before the metal lattice work that weaved through the stained-glass window was covered in dancing bolts of electricity.

The castle's anti-intruder system lit Batman up like a Christmas tree with a resounding "Ker-ZAP!" Causing Batman to flail about and spasm as the electricity coursed through his body.

As the slightly smoking figure of Batman slowly fell away from his grasp on the window and plummeted towards the ground, the last thing he heard before darkness claimed him was maniacal laughter.

"WA HA HA HA HA HA! Oh this is going to be so much fun!" The insane voice cackled, and then darkness closed over Batman.

* * *

Batman's fun with the guardian A.I. of Castle Wulfenbach wasn't the only action taking place in Gotham that night. In fact, the city was insanely busy that night with several of Batman's normal rogue's gallery being on the loose and up to no good. However not every criminal was having fun and causing mayhem on the streets of Gotham, no, some of them were still securely housed in the depths of the Elizabeth Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane.

In the deepest dark sub-basement of the towering gothic monstrosity that housed Gotham City's most dangerous criminally "insane" was a glass walled cell that was surprisingly quiet and peaceful. Green plants and flowers of every shape and variety filled the room, and the hard stone floors were even carpeted in a nice layer of thick lush green grass. From an observers' point of view, that of the guards who passed up and down the hallway before the glass walled cells of sub-basement H, it almost appeared as if a breeze blew inside the cell. The plants in the cell seemed to move and sway in the shadowy light that trickled through the vines that lined the ceiling. Only the reality of the situation was something else as svelte feminine green colored legs appeared from the vine hammock that hung from the ceiling. The fact that the vines moved to actually lower the prison cell's gardener let any observer know that there was no breeze in the cell, rather it was the plants that were alive and moving on their own.

The gorgeous red headed woman, her smooth green tinged skin swathed in bands of ivy and leaves, petted the vines that carefully curled around her before she was released to daintily touch down on the grassy floor. One thorny vine from a back wall danced forward to plant one of its freshly grown roses in the red hair of its "mother" before darting back to its place on the wall.

"Thank you my children." Pamela Isley, the eco-terrorist known as Poison Ivy, said as she caressed the vines for her living bed. Said vines shivered slightly at the joy of their "mother's" praise before they disappeared back towards the ceiling of the large cell.

A double knock of knuckles on glass issued from the cell door behind Poison Ivy, causing her to turn and look out through the entrance to her abode.

"Knock knock, dinner time Isley." The masculine voice of the guard stated, and Pamela noted that the brim of the guard's ball cap shadowed the man's face to the point that she couldn't see his eyes or facial features.

"But of course, we couldn't miss dinner time. After all, it would be a shame to insult the chef at this wonderful establishment." She replied with a little quirk of her bright green lips and with a sparkle in her green eyes, as if she had a choice on the matter.

Much to her surprise, rather than slide the tray of food through the cat that ran through a tray system on the side of the door, the guard instead took a key from his side key chain and inserted it into a lock in the wall next to the glass door and with a click the glass rolled up into the ceiling allowing the guard to enter the cell.

A sardonic smile, a mix of pure seduction and mischief spread across Poison Ivy's face.

"Well well," She purred and started to sway towards the guard that had entered her domain so foolishly, "you must be new handsome." She seductively waltzed up to the guard with all the sway she could put into her hips, and her lithe figure twisted with her walk to show off all of her incredibly gorgeous curves.

The cap of the guard continued to shadow the guard's eyes, blocking her view, but she was able to see a smirk grow across the man's lips.

"You could say that." He replied with a bit of humor in his voice, "I thought I would bring you your dinner personally, since you're such an interesting woman and all that. I thought I could get to know you a bit better." He posited at the end.

Poison Ivy's smile grew almost predatory before slipping back into its most seductive smirk, a quirk at the edge of her mouth adding to her sexy look as she licked her lips, drawing the man's attention to them as she moved into his personal space and leaned forward.

Poison Ivy draped herself around the new guard, twined one leg around the back of the man's leg, her arms around his neck and she leaned in for a kiss with just the slightest hint of tongue.

Usually it only took a peck, a slight touch of Poison Ivy's poisoned kiss, and any human man would have succumbed to her power and be enslaved to her will; too bad the toxins and poisons on her lips eventually led to the man's death.

However in this case Poison Ivy found the man returning her kiss, a tingle in her own lips and a passionate reply as the man's fingers trailed up into her hair and he kissed her back, his breath tasting of a strange mixture of pure peppermint and wintergreen as if he had breathed in their pure minty essence.

Pamela's eyes closed, and she was startled when she heard a moan and realized that she was the one that had made the sound.

Poison Ivy's eyes shot wide open as her brain kicked back into reality, and she quickly threw herself back out of the man's arms and out of his reach, breaking the kiss that had lasted for more than a minute.

Pamela tumbled backwards to roll and land in a crouch, arms poised and ready for a fight and the vines around her swinging out from the walls and ceiling to attack the man, only for them to quiver and stop in the air a good foot from the man.

The man licked his own lips, the bill of his cap continuing to shield the man's eyes from view as a smirk painted itself across the face of the man dressed as a guard.

"Hmmm, a nice bit of belladonna, but pretty heavy on the nightshade and passion fruit. I think I could come to enjoy that." The man hummed out as his tongue lightly licked his own lips before they quirked up in a large smile. He then reached up and stroked one of the thorny vines that had a moment ago tried to attack him. The vines shivered and vibrated in pleasure, twining and gently playing with the man's fingers before receding back to the walls.

Pamela Isley had never felt so vulnerable in her life. She held no powers besides her immunity to poisons and disease and her ability to communicate with plants. Already her brief interaction with this stranger had shown her the he was immune to all of the weapons in her arsenal, including her seductive abilities.

"Wha, what are you?" Pamela questioned with a hint of wide eyed fear in her voice.

"Why Pamela," The man stated as he reached for his ball cap, "I'm what you could be if you were even more in tuned with the Earth and the plants around you."

With that, Alec Holland exposed his handsome and green tinged face, his green eyes sparkling with mischief as he smiled at her with a pair of bright green lips that matched the exact color of Pamela's, though whereas her hair was bright red, his was as green as his eyes.

Alec waved his hand at the ground next to him, and the grass on the cell floor grew at a prodigious rate, so fast that almost before Pamela could blink two comfy chairs of woven grass had been formed, each facing the other.

Pamela looked from the man, to the chairs, and blinked as the man casually handed the tray of food to one of the vines on the wall, and then he sat down in his chair and waved towards the other in invitation for her to sit. The man had taken complete control of her plants away from her, and there was no way she could dart past him and out of the prison without him or the guards stopping her.

Both were silent for a few moments as Pamela furiously thought of what to do. She had never met another person who had the same level of control over plants as she did, let alone a stronger one. Frankly it scared her. However she wasn't considered a super-villain for nothing, and the ability to control herself in tough situations was something she had fostered and grown while she lived and fought on the streets of Gotham. Pamela didn't show her inner turmoil on her face as she carefully moved towards the offered chair.

Walking forward daintily, she sat down in a controlled manner that would have left any outside observer believing that she had complete control of the situation. Little did she know however that Alec Holland, aka the former Swamp Thing, could read her feelings just as well as he could any plant.

"You seem to have me at a disadvantage, you obviously know who I am, but here you have gone and kissed me and I don't know who you are or what you want?" Pamela said, a bit of unexpected heat coming out of her words as she slightly glared at the man. After all, it was one thing to kiss a man and seduce him to be a slave under her control, but it was entirely different when the man enjoyed the kiss and turned it back around on her; something that she still wasn't willing to admit about the kiss.

Alec chuckled and smiled and gave a slight mock bow of his head from his position in his chair, "My apologies, but you were the one who chose the form of greeting." He joked, then noticed her getting a bit huffy about his answer so he continued quickly, "As for who I am, my name is Dr. Alec Holland. I believe, Dr. Pamela Isley, that you and I traded intellectual papers at that Harvard Botany Symposium back in 1985." He finished with a smirk.

Pamela's jaw dropped open in surprise, before she caught herself and stuttered, "Dr. Holland? I remember you and your paper on your belief that plants receive some sort of undefined resource from their connection with the planet, that it wasn't the soil that was the most important nutrient but some essence you were working on… but, but I heard you died in a lab fire in the Louisiana swamps?" She looked incredulously at the man sitting across from her.

"Yes, I did die in that fire in the swamps right as I'd finished my research on finding the source, the essence of plant life on Earth… But then again, I've come to find out that Dr. Pamela Isley, the foremost specialist on plant toxicology, suffered a similar accident and death at her laboratory facility at Slaughter Swamp just outside of Gotham. Imagine that, and now two presumably dead people with botany backgrounds are having an uninterrupted chat in the middle of Gotham City's most notorious prison." Alec finished with a smile.

Poison Ivy looked back at him and blinked, then looked at the plants and their reactions and that's when she realized that the weird tingle she had felt when she had kissed Alec was still there, and that she could feel him and his amusement just like she could feel the emotions of the plants around her.

"I can feel you!" Pamela stated abruptly.

Alec's eyes twinkled and his smirk grew larger, "Why yes you can my dear, though I figured we would wait till at least the second date before we did any feeling."

Pamela blinked at Alec's quip, and then blushed as she realized the accidental double entendre in her words.

Her blush quickly passed, and Poison Ivy glared at Dr. Holland, "That's not what I meant and you know it." She huffed and crossed her arms across her chest.

Alec enjoyed the view as her crossed arms crushed Pamela's vine covered breasts together, but he realized that he may be coming across a bit too forward. A small part of him realized that he had been hanging around Xander Harris too much, and that playful flirty style of Xander was starting to wear off on the former Swamp Thing.

Alec's smirk settled into a warm smile, "My apologies if I've been too forward, but to answer your actual question, yes you can "feel" me as you so stated. What you are feeling is our connection through The Green, the essence of the power of the Earth and all that grows on it. And it's why I've come to visit you, though my friend RedTree will only be able to keep the other guards and surveillance away for a short while longer, I needed to talk to you and ask you a question." He finished with a pause so that Pamela could absorb the information he was relaying to her, they were after all on a time limit.

Pamela nodded in understanding, but then quirked her head slightly as she questioned, "That's interesting to know, and I can't say that I don't appreciate learning more about this Green, but perhaps you could tell me exactly why it is you broke into Arkham Asylum just to visit me. In short, what is this question you wanted to ask me?"

Alec smiled and replied, "The question is simple, do you want to save the world? I'm talking about the whole world, the plants animals and all of it. Yes, or no?"

Pamela looked startled. It was no secret that she believed that the human civilization of corporations and big businesses were destroying and polluting the earth. It was what she had always strived to stop, to protect the Earth and its plants. She had always felt like she was protecting something more though, some nameless force that was always present in the background of her and her plant's; her connection to the earth. "It," that which she had always tried to protect but had been nameless to her, "The Green" ,the force of nature that she had always felt calling out to her. Yes, she wanted to protect it from the pollution and garbage around her.

"Alec, you have less than a minute before the guards turn the corner from the elevators and go past Ivy's cell. Apparently the orderlies have an appointment with the Scarecrow down the hall from here and are on their way. I can only delay the elevator for so long." The voice of the artificial intelligence RedTree broadcast from the speaker in Poison Ivy's cell. The statement from the prison's speaker system interrupted Pamela's thinking.

"I got it Red, thank you." Alec stated, looking up towards the speaker hidden among the vines before turning back to Pamela. "Well my dear, I do hate to rush you, but I need a yes or a no to my question." He stated patiently, no hint as to what the outcome of the answer would bring.

Pamela looked at the man who's skin matched her own tone, whose eyes sparkled just as green as hers, and she reached out for that ability that she normally used with plants and tried to quest towards the man seated just a few feet in front of her. She connected, and in that instant that the connection was formed she felt no deceit, but rather a patient hope that was mirrored in her own heart. A hope that she would find someone that she could connect with, to find someone who was just like her.

A true honest smile spread across Pamela's lips as she sat up straight in her chair, all sense of false predatory seduction lost from her actions. "Yes Alec, I'd like to save the world."

Alec's eyes seemed to sparkle and his smile grew larger. "Excellent my dear. I look forward to continuing this conversation more when we have the time, but for now, let's get you out of here."

Pamela's eyes grew large at those words, and before she could blink a rumbling sound shook the room till it felt like a large earthquake just as a giant green fanged maw of a Venus flytrap burst through the ground beneath their feet; swallowing the contents of the cell in one large gulp.

Alarms sounded and men yelled as the giant Venus flytrap disappeared into the ground beneath Arkham Asylum, leaving a giant hole in the ground and a prison in turmoil.

* * *

At the same time that Alec Holland was having fun stirring up the guards at Arkham Asylum, Xander and his adopted sister Cassandra Kalderash were standing at the front of the VIP line at the Iceberg Lounge; the swankiest nightclub, restaurant and casino in all of Gotham city.

"First name and ID?" The suit-wearing large nightclub bouncer stated while looking over the list on his clipboard and ignoring the couple that had just pulled up in an expensive black and yellow Lotus sports car. The bouncer saw lots of expensive cars pull up to the club every night, but that didn't automatically give the driver entrance to the club.

"Money and you don't need to see our ID's." Xander answered with a patented Xander Harris smirk painted on his face.

"Wait, what?" The large bouncer looked up, startled by the answer, only to see a man just as muscularly hulking as the bouncer and the rest of the guards. The brown haired male was wearing a tailored black three piece suit, a white shirt and a black and crimson striped silk tie. The crimson red stripes in the male visitor's tie matched the trim and the crisscrossing red pattern on the black dress that hugged the curves of the lithe female that stood smiling next to him. Whereas the man looked like he might just be twenty one years of age and eligible to enter the club, there was no way that the athletically trim and gorgeous young Asian girl was even close to being of age to enter the Iceberg Lounge.

"Like I said," Xander stated as he dug in his pocket and pulled out several bundles of hundred dollar bills, "Money, and you don't need to see our ID's." Xander finished, handing over the bundles of cash and waving his other hand as if he was doing a Jedi mind trick.

The bouncer stared at the several thousand dollars he had just been handed and responded, "Never mind, I don't have to see your IDs." The bouncer replied with a smile; not that the imitation Jedi mind trick worked at all as Xander still hadn't fixed the quirk with the telepathy he acquired from Aquaman.

"Right this way folks." The bouncer added with a smile as he unhooked the velvet rope and ushered Xander and Cassy through into the club while ignoring the yells and complaints of the crowd that had been patiently waiting in the main line.

Cassy looked questioningly to Xander as he casually ignored the sounds of the shouting crowd and escorted her into the elegantly decorated white and silver bedecked restaurant and nightclub.

"Wait till we get to our table." Xander said out of the corner of his mouth as he noticed a dark haired receptionist in a short tight-fitting black dress approaching them out of the corner of his eye. The attractive woman approaching them was talking into a wrist microphone while an ear bud was squawking in the receptionist's ear. Unknown to the women and the voice on the other end of the microphone, Xander's super hearing was picking up ever word in the conversation.

"The boss wants to know who this new bird in town is; he's throwing around money like he's made of it. See if you can get some information or at least a name from him and put him in the VIP booth with the bugs. We don't know if he's a crook, a fed or some playboy on vacation." The voice on the other end of the radio system commanded.

"Yes sir, I'll see what I can do." The young receptionist whispered into her microphone before turning a blazing smile towards Xander.

"Good evening Sir and welcome to the Iceberg Lounge. The management would like to offer you the service of one of our VIP booths, if you would follow me this way." The receptionist offered to Xander while ignoring Cassy as if Xander's sister was merely some sort of arm-candy.

Cassandra was an expert in reading body language long before she even learned to speak verbally. In fact, Cassandra read the body language and disposition of people's thoughts and feelings as easily as most people read a book. Every single smile line painted a picture, every twitch of an ear or slightest move of an arm was a novel that told Cassandra not only the next move of the person being watched, but their inner thoughts and feelings. Cassandra was a master of reading humans, and what she saw made her frown at the back of the receptionist. Cassy's consternation continued to increase as she caught passing views of the other inhabitants of the club. Cassy's heels and Xander's shiny black dress shoes were a whisper on the thick lush white carpet the led up the stairs to the VIP level, and the silence of their walk enabled them to pick up snippets of conversations on their way to their table. Several of the bits and pieces of the conversations picked up in passing only made Cassy's frown deepen. Finally Cassandra saw that they were approaching an empty booth that appeared to be their destination so she quickly pasted a smile on her face so as not to give away her thoughts. Cassandra couldn't help but sum up the glitzy over-plush decor of the Iceberg Lounge and its guests as an artifice facade, and she hated it.

"Patience." Xander whispered out of the side of his mouth to Cassy as he caught the brief frown that flashed across her face, and then Xander gave the receptionist a blinding smile as the women finished leading them to their booth. Xander ushered Cassandra into the booth before him and then entered it himself.

"Your server will be with you shortly, but the management has asked that I offer you anything you might like Mr…?" The attractive receptionist struck a pose, insinuating that 'anything' really was being offered, including the receptionist herself, and then left the question hanging in the hopes to get a name from her guests.

Xander just smirked, his grin lighting up his face as he understood the game the receptionist was trying to play but he wasn't willing to take the bait. "No thank you, we'll wait to order drinks with our server." He simply replied.

The receptionist continued to try to smile at Xander and his reply, but both Cassy and Xander saw that the frustration in the woman's eyes did not match the smile on the woman's lips.

"Very well then, but please feel free to flag me down if you need anything else." The receptionist said with a flirty wink to Xander, a wink that caused Cassy to openly frown as the woman walked away with an exaggerated sway in her hips.

"That skanky little harlot." Cassy growled after the woman, and if looks could kill, well…

"Now now, give me just one more second." Xander stated as he patted his sister's arm gently to get her to calm down. He then turned his attention inward and closed his eyes momentarily.

'_Nano-clanks, __I __need __an __EMP __pulse __for __a __radius __of __five __feet __around __me.__'_ Xander commanded his internal micro-clanks.

"Fuummmm" an addible hum issued from Xander's nano-clank suit of clothes, and the lights around Xander dimmed briefly as the electromagnetic pulse that issued from him fried the circuits of all electronics in a five foot radius in all directions. Xander smirked as he heard a slight "bzzz" sound, and his super hearing picked up the sound of a loud screech of a microphone giving off a feedback loop somewhere deep within the walls of the club, followed by cursing; most likely at the listening end of the bugs planted in the booth around him.

Xander turned to Cassandra with his patented goofy smile, "There, now we can speak privately." He stated.

"I don't like this place." Cassandra stated with a pout and crossed her arms across her chest. "You told me that you were going to take me out on the town and I was hoping for pizza and a movie or something, but this place is filled with a bunch of phonies and people who would backstab their mother for a quarter." She finished, looking around at the other couples and groups of people scattered about the large central room. Xander and Cassy's booth was set up on a second floor VIP level and it gave them an excellent view of the restaurant floor down below as well a dance section that had a big band orchestra set up for dancing.

"Well, welcome to Gotham, the dark city of sin and corruption on the United States' East Coast." Xander said with a jaunty little wave at the people around him. "I wanted to show you the town as it really is, and this is the nicest club in town but it just happens to be owned and run by a criminal." He finished, carefully pointing out that the bouncers that were spread throughout the facility were all packing guns based on the slight bulges that shown every now and then from the insides of the bouncer's black suit coats.

"So tell me again why then you wanted to take me here, and why you want me to be your ambassador here to the United States?" Cassy questioned as she turned her pretty face towards Xander and raised a well manicured eyebrow.

Xander sighed and leaned on the table as he watched the people interacting at the booths around them. After a few moments of silence he finally answered her. "It's because you're family Cassy, and because you are family I trust you. Tell you what, read the people around here and tell me what you think of them and I'll explain it better." Xander finished, waving for her to examine the patrons in the other sections of the VIP level and the restaurant below.

"Well," Cassy said, only to pause as their server came up to their table. Xander and Cassy quickly ordered their drinks and then she continued to talk after the server had left. "Take that older man with the paunchy stomach and the receding hairline at the booth across from us." She stated, pointing to an elderly man in an expensive blue pinstriped suit who was pretty fat but was still surrounded by two attractive blonde girls that could have been the man's daughters, or perhaps granddaughters.

"He is definitely somebody of wealth, I'd say by the way that he likes to hear himself talk to those girls that he is probably a lawyer or some judge, especially based on the way that he looks at the people around him, his body language says he feels he is above the rules of the common person. Oh, and the girls are obviously high priced hookers." Cassy replied, reading the body language and lips of the man and his guests on the opposite side of the VIP level.

Xander smirked as he replied, "Yes and good job there. That's Judge Jefferson, he's the federal district judge for Gotham City and it's well known that he has a penchant for young girls and expensive living. However he is best known for labeling The Joker as criminally insane and not eligible for the death penalty due to reasons of insanity… though most criminals on the street would tell you that the bribe of five million dollars didn't hurt The Joker's sentencing."

Cassy growled and then moved her attention to the next table where several men were meeting, "The table next to the judge," She pointed out with a nudge of her chin in the direction of the specified booth. "With the five men in expensive suits sitting hunched over their drinks sweating but still looking like a bunch of accountants. They don't want to be overheard but their lips tell that they are planning on embezzling money from City Hall to increase their salaries."

"Yep, and congratulations, you've just pointed out the assemblymen for the Gotham neighborhoods of Bloodhaven and several of the largely industrial parts of town. Nice little racket they have given that their families are the only families allowed to have residents in those industrial neighborhoods." Xander explained as he settled back into his seat, his internal nano-clanks feeding him information as he mentally queried his computer systems and the databases of information RedTree had acquired. "I believe the assemblyman on the left is the brother of the one on the right, and the other two are cousins. The one from Bloodhaven is reported to have contacts with the Italian mob."

Cassy turned her attention away from the booth in question and focused her attention on Xander, "Then why the heck would you bring me to a place like this, and even more why would you want to have your Embassy here and your little sister living with these scum buckets?" She questioned petulantly, for after all she was a sixteen year old.

"Because this is the center of activity on this planet." Xander explained simply as he leaned closer to Cassy so as not to be overheard. "This might be the most corrupt pigsty in the United States, but its right south of New York City and Metropolis, just north of Washington DC, and the United States is truly the location with the most superhero and super-villain interaction in this dimension." Xander explained.

Cassy just looked at Xander, waiting for the full explanation.

"So you know I don't come from this dimension." Xander continued, and Cassandra nodded that she understood.

"So then you know that I've got ideas of what is going to happen in this world." Xander explained and Cassandra nodded again. "Well, every alien invasion, every enemy from the deep, every new supervillain or wannabe overlord of Earth always targets this area of the world, and frankly this is where we can do the most good." Xander finished with a big smile, trying to convince Cassy of his reasons.

"But with the portals you can be anywhere in the world in an instant, so why put Castle Wulfenbach in the one city in the United States where it will also be a major target for the villains and other bad guys?" Cassy asked, still not believing she was receiving the whole story.

An evil smirk spread across Xander's face as he leaned forward even more to answer her, "Because it's not an invasion of U.S. territory if our embassy was the target of the attack, and second, I'm beginning to love screwing with Batman."

Xander finished with an evil chuckle, and Cassy's smile turned evil also as she giggled along with him for a few moments.

Xander reached around Cassy's shoulders and pulled her into a one armed hug as they relaxed in their seats. "Besides Sis, it's not like you can't come home for dinner with the clan every night if you want. Igor and Magda are just a portal away if you need help, you've already completed your integration of your Doctorates of political science, government service, espionage, and Evil-Overlord-ology. Castle Wulfenbach's new artificial intelligence, Von Pinn, will also always be there to help you out when you need it. Think of this as spreading your wings a bit and joining in the family biz of world domination." Xander finished with a wink and gave his adopted sister a gentle squeeze to show her that he cared about her.

"Think of Gotham City as your new toy, to play with however you want." Xander finished with a goofy smirk.

Cassandra smiled at her big brother, the man who had so improved her life and brought her a family, and she put her arm around him and gave him a one armed hug in return. "Thanks Xander, not many girls can say that their big brother gave them a whole city as a toy to play with, you're the greatest." She finished with a beaming smile.

Xander smiled back at his younger sister, she had come a long way from the scared girl who was willing to end her own life rather than be forced to be an assassin. "No problem sis, but it will make it hard to find an even better gift for Christmas. Perhaps your own country?" Xander jokingly asked with a silly grin.

Both Cassy and Xander just laughed at that, and then returned to quietly watching the people in the club as their drinks finally arrived along with a bread basket. Xander waved off the server to give them more time to order their food.

Xander looked down at his menu admitted to himself that the villain who owned the Iceberg Lounge had a good choice in food. Not so surprisingly missing from the menu was any type of poultry, though the menu seemed to be heavy on fish and other seafood.

"Do you see anybody else that looks interesting?" Xander asked negligently as he focused his attention on his large menu, the menu blocking Xander's view of the rest of the Iceberg Lounge.

Cassy set down her menu from where she was perusing it and looked around the room, "Hmmm, well the older guy in the other corner is obviously married to a woman even though he is holding hands with that young man." She started describing as she looked around the room while Xander still tried to decide what to eat from the menu.

"Table of gangsters, table of lawyers, table of gangsters, table of accountants and gangsters, oh, there's an interesting one." Cassy stated panning her head around the room until she noticed a new person walking through the lower levels of the club and restaurant.

"Hmmm, how so?" Xander asked without looking up, not sure if he wanted the lobster or the seared Ahi that was listed on the menu. The inclusion of his Heterodyne persona had really expanded Xander's tastes in food beyond the Harris family specialties of burnt meat and cheese covered vegetables, always with a side of alcohol, so he was seriously considering some of the dishes he wasn't originally familiar with back in old Sunnydale.

"Well, she's really pretty even though her hair is cut in a dark pixie cut, and though she could be mistaken for a hooker with the way she swings those hips, the way she moves in that purple dress makes her look more like a panther or some sort of predatory cat." Cassandra stated as she focused on the woman just being seated at a table near the dance floor on the lower level.

"mm-hmmm, that's nice…" Xander nodded as he wasn't paying attention, only to have the last part of Cassandra's statement filter through his mind.

"Wait a second? Did you say Cat? Where is she?" Xander stated, quickly dropping his menu and looking around the floor level below them.

"There, right next to the dance floor. Sleeveless open backed, low plunging and tight purple dress with a slit up to her thigh and the black CFM heels. You can't miss her." Cassy stated with a smirk and pointed, finding it a bit funny that she was pointing out hot women to her own brother, especially given his bevy of beauties back home.

Xander followed the angle of Cassy's pointing finger, and sure enough, sitting on the ground floor and all by herself was Selena Kyle, aka Catwoman, but without the leather cat suit.

"Selena." Xander said quietly to himself with a small smile spreading across his face, his memories going back to the short time he had shared with the vivacious and sexy thief.

Of course, the fact that Xander was experiencing happy thoughts was reason enough for Mr. Murphy to decide to crash the evening's outing in Gotham City.

Xander shook his head to pull himself out of his thoughts just as he noticed several of the large bouncers move in from the corners of the lower floor level and converge on Selena's table. One of the big bouncer's reached down and took Selena's elbow in his hand and forcefully, but not violently, led her up out of her chair while the bouncer's other hand was reaching into the other side of his coat where Xander could see the butt of a gun. The other bouncers quickly shielded the ground floor patrons from seeing what was happening, but Xander's view from above gave him a vantage point that couldn't be blocked. Add to that Xander's freshly acquired super hearing and super sight and it let him watch the whole situation in detail.

"The boss thinks it's pretty gutsy of a cat to waltz into the bird's nest and think there won't be any repercussions, especially when said pussy cat matches the description of the thief that has a twenty million bounty on her head." Xander clearly heard the bouncer state as the bouncer led Selena away from the table and across the dance floor towards a door at the back of the restaurant. In true Gotham City style all of the patrons, besides Xander and Cassandra, blatantly ignored the pretty woman being accosted.

Xander growled and Cassandra noticed that Xander's eyes flashed yellowish green for an instant.

"Crap." Cassandra cursed as she saw what was going on and her brother's reaction.

Pushing himself out of his seat, the primal part of Xander was calling for him to protect his pack, his mate. And even though Selena and Xander had only spent one crazy night together, Xander was more than inclined to agree.

"I guess it's time to introduce ourselves to Gotham City." Xander growled, his voice going deep as he pushed the heavy table out of the way so that he could get out of the booth easier.

"Xander, don't do anything rash, you said we wanted to keep a lower profile at first. Xander! Xander don't kill anybody! Oh phewy." Cassandra cautioned worriedly as she quickly looked between the bouncers pulling Selena through the door to the inner offices of the club and then back to Xander who moved away from the table and was heading towards the stairs down to the first floor.

Xander couldn't keep the glare off his face as he moved towards the exit and continued to watch where the bouncers were taking Selena, even going so far as to send a server loaded with food flying out of Xander's way so that he could get to the stairs down to the first level. A bouncer saw Xander's casual shoulder check to the server and moved forward to intercept Xander before Xander could reach the stairs.

"Hey! Stop right ther- GURK!" The bouncer started to challenge Xander only for Xander's hand to lash out and grab the bouncer by the neck. Then the bouncer was up in the air and over the balcony, as Xander casually one armed threw the man out of his way.

"Ahhhhhh!" The bouncer screamed as his arms and legs wind-milled as if the man was trying to swim through the air. An almighty crash was the result of the bouncer's uncontrolled descent, ending with the bouncer crashing face first into a server below with a flambé dessert cart, both server, bouncer and cart then crashed into a table holding eight people.

Chaos erupted as the flambé cart crashed into the table catching the tablecloth and the bouncer on fire from the flaming liquids, and then men were bellowing and women were screaming as the guests of the restaurants and nightclub all started running around like chickens with their heads cut off as they fled the club.

Cassandra face palmed her forehead with a smack and then shook her head at Xander's actions.

"So much for keeping a low profile." Cassy groused as she looked up and saw Xander's three piece dark suit bubble and then flow into a solid body covering black armor as Xander exited the stairway onto the ground floor and pushed his way through the crowd while casually sending patrons flying out of his way with casual shoulder checks and one armed throws.

Cassandra noticed several guards below her pull out machine pistols and took aim at her brother. Not that it would do anything to stop Xander, but Cassy really didn't want any more bloodshed than was strictly necessary and the guards were about to shoot through the crowd in order to hit Xander.

"Oh well, when in Rome." Cassandra groused as her black and red dress rippled, and suddenly she was covered from head to toe in a feminine form of Xander's featureless black body armor.

A quick dive out of her booth and then a flip over the second floor banister sent Cassy cannon-balling through the air un-tucking a moment before she tackled the armed guards below that were just about to open fire. A quick elbow strike to a temple was followed by a backwards flip heel-strike to the throat of another guard, and faster than most people could blink the three guards were down and out of the fight. Then Cassy was jumping off of tables and kicking off of support columns, going parkour through the room to intercept other guards that looked like they wanted to get in Xander's way. Cassandra had been trained from an infant to be the best assassin ever, especially at hand to hand combat. In another time and dimension, if Xander hadn't come into Cassandra's life then she would have gone on to take over the leadership of the League of Shadows and its assassins by proving without a doubt that she was deadliest human in the world. Here and now though, Cassandra Kalderash didn't like to kill, but that didn't stop her from absolutely kicking the living shit out of the guards who dared to point a gun at her brother. Sure the bullets wouldn't have hurt Xander's armored form. It was the principal of the thing, and if there was one thing Cassy had learned from Xander and the Kalderash, it was nobody messed with her family and walked away from it unscathed.

While Cassandra was going Kung-Fu on the Iceberg Lounge's guards, Xander was fully focused on rescuing Catwoman. Xander didn't really pay attention to any of Cassy's actions as he only had eyes for the guards blocking his path to the door that Selena had been forced through. The panicking crowd fleeing the restaurant blocked the guards' view of Xander right up to the point where Xander's hulking black armored shape seemed to just appear out of the crowd in front of them. And by then, it was already far too late.

Though Xander had learned a great deal of his fighting skills from his absorption of Cassandra's skills, this didn't mean they fought in the same way. No, Xander and Cassandra's fighting methods were very different and Xander proved this once again as his clawed armored hands brutally tore through the throats of the two guards blocking the doorway. Xander kicked down the door and continued to proceed past the now dying guards. Xander had a Cat to rescue, and he had a feeling that when he found her he would probably have a Penguin to kill.

* * *

Selena Kyle had thought Gotham would be safe. Well, safe in the general Gotham City sense in that she was part of the den of thieves that survived and thrived on the city's corruption. No, all that mattered was that Gotham City was supposed to be safe from Ra's Al Ghul in that the man and his assassins were kept out of the city by Batman.

Ever since Ra's Al Ghul's assassin had interrupted her fun time with Xander, Selena had been robbing the terrorist blind. It was amazing the kind of shiny bits and bobbles that Ra's Al Ghul had hidden in his safe houses and secret palaces throughout the world, and she had to admit that she enjoyed stealing all of the pretty jewels and gems; though torching his safe houses was fun also. The man had wealth practically just lying about his properties, and she felt it was her civic duty as a thief to relieve him of his obviously overabundant and unwanted wealth and remind him to be thankful for what he had.

"After all, nobody would leave that stuff just lying around unless they wanted it stolen. That's me, Catwoman the public servant cleaning up unwanted wealth just strewn around." Selena muttered to herself with a smirk and a chuckle as the chauffeur lent his hand to help her out of the limousine in front of the VIP line into the Iceberg Lounge. Her long form fitting purple dress showed a large expanse of leg as the thigh high slit slid to the side as she stepped out of the limo and onto the red carpet before she sashayed her way up to the door and the bouncer.

Said bouncer looked up briefly from his clipboard before looking down again, only to do a double check and look up to watch Selena's cat like sway as she approached him with a seductive smile on her lips.

"Hello handsome." She purred silkily and looked up at the man through hooded eyelashes, "My name is Selena Kyle, and I believe that I'm on the guest list as a club member." She said in a low pitched breathy voice.

"Right, absolutely Ms. Kyle." The bouncer stated, talking directly to Selena's chest rather than her face while he looked over the list in his hands before quickly unclipping the velvet rope and letting her enter the club.

Selena smirked, as she could see a little bit of drool leak from the corner of the man's mouth before he blushed and wiped his face and looked away at being caught.

Selena chuckled deeply, as she saw several of the large male bouncers puff up their chests as she walked by, each of the guards subconsciously trying to make themselves look more impressive as she strutted by.

Selena walked through the entrance hall and into the club and looked around to see if she recognized anybody. She had come to the Iceberg Lounge for information, as this was the place to see, be seen and to gather information on what goods were ripe for the plucking in Gotham City.

'_Just __because __I __have __to __lay __low __for __a __bit __doesn__'__t __mean __I __can__'__t __keep __busy __with __a __few __jobs.__'_ Selena thought to herself as she saw the receptionist move towards her to lead Selena to a table. _'__Besides, __a __girl __has __to __keep __herself __busy, __and __The __Penguin __always __has __the __information __on __the __latest __schemes __and __loot __in __the __city.__' _Selena finished thinking as she followed the receptionist to a table, noting with a smirk as three fourths of the men in the room seemed to follow Selena's progress with their heads; the other quarter of the men were probably either gay or eunuchs.

Sitting down with a nod of thanks to the receptionist, Selena waited. This was how the game was played at Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot's Iceberg Lounge. Oswald was a criminal mastermind that harkened from old money but had been all but abandoned by his family due to the man's short stature, balding head, round figure and beak like nose. Those features coupled with the criminal's propensity to love all things birds, and that he dressed in tuxedos, had led to the man being coupled with the moniker of "The Penguin." The Iceberg Lounge was Penguin's primary front company and though the front of the nightclub looked like a respectable facility the truth was something else. The back corridor's of the Iceberg Lounge and attached warehouse were used for Penguin's weapon and drug smuggling operations while money and information were laundered through the casino and restaurant parts of the Lounge. Information was why Selena had come to the Iceberg Lounge that night, and if things went like they had in the past then the waiter would come bearing a menu. When the waiter was asked about the club's "member's only specials for the evening," a different type of menu would be procured for Catwoman's perusal and the prices and types of information for sale would be listed for her dining delight.

That's how things were supposed to run.

However that isn't how things proceeded.

Selena felt a man move up from behind her, but she assumed that it was the waiter right up until she noticed the large bouncer move into her peripheral vision and grasp her left elbow; his other hand clearly already grasping the handle of his machine-pistol hidden by the breast of the man's suit coat.

"The boss thinks it's pretty gutsy of a cat to waltz into the bird's nest and think there won't be any repercussions, especially when said pussy cat matches the description of the thief that has a twenty million bounty on her head." The bouncer stated in a low pitched growl that only Selena could hear.

Selena's eyes quickly darted from side to side, realizing that there were at least seven large guards surrounding her, including the bouncer that already had a firm grasp on her arm. Each of the men had a hand in their suit jackets clearly ready to shoot her if she didn't comply as the bouncer pulled her out of the chair and away from the table.

Selena was worried. She understood that there was no honor among thieves, but the Penguin was playing a dangerous game by backstabbing a well known villain right in the middle of his own club. Sure, not many people knew that Selena Kyle and Catwoman were one and the same, but the big name criminals in Gotham sure knew. Still, the current number of guards around Selena was too many for her to fight in the open expanse of the club and the chances of her or the other patrons getting shot was pretty high if she were to immediately resist.

Selena glared at the guard as she allowed him to pull her across the dance floor and towards a door to the rear of the restaurant's ground floor.

"Your boss has a lot of nerve stabbing a Member in the back like this. The others are going to hear about this." Selena hissed in anger under her breath while stressing the word member; referring to how the other major criminals of Gotham City would react to the news of the Penguin's actions.

The bouncer replied by gripping her arm painfully tight in his meaty fist, "Shut up cat, the other members of the club would do the same thing for the type of money on your head."

Selena hissed in pain at the man's grip on her arm as the bouncer pulled her through the doorway guarded by two men and then into the back corridors of the club.

Selena's eyes darted left and right, and she realized that the tighter confines of the hallway were her best chance for making her escape. There were two ways she could play this: the gorgeous damsel in distress who faints and drags the guard to the ground routine, or she could show her claws and let these thugs know why she was one of the major players in Gotham's crime.

Selena faked a pull to her right, and when the guard resisted her effort and pulled her back, she moved with the motion and planted her elbow in the bouncer's sternum.

Selena ignored the guard's "uuumph!" as the air was driven out of his lungs and he started coughing, rather she focused on the other guards around her as she tilted back and planted her long stiletto heel into the crotch of the bouncer directly behind her. Selena showed off the agility and grace of a cat, as she arched herself backwards and hooked the neck of the guard behind her in a hug and twisted around so that as the man ducked from the blow to the crotch, she redirected his force so that he went flying over her shoulder into one of the guards that was leading the way into the depths of the club.

The men around her yelled as she dropped out of her throw into a set of splits and then popped up to rake another guard's eyes with her finger nails… only to catch the butt of a gun to the side of her cheek.

Selena's head bounced off the wall, and she saw stars for a second before several meaty fists grabbed her arms and legs and started bodily carrying her down the hall while leaving the one guard unconscious on the floor where she had thrown him.

"Let me down! I'll claw your eyes out!" Selena hissed and spat as she struggled while the remaining guards carried her spread-eagle deeper into the building.

"The boss warned us that you wouldn't come easy and that you were as cagey as a cat." The lead bouncer replied, before open palm slapping Selena across the face, the large gold ring on his hand busting her lip and causing blood to leak down her jaw.

"Now shut up and stop struggling." The lead thug finished with a growl.

Selena glared silently at the man, and licked her lip where the asshole had split it. She knew it was petulant, but she stopped struggling and instead hung like deadweight; making the job of carrying her that much more difficult.

The men around her grunted as Catwoman relaxed in their grip, and her muscular body did in fact make it harder to physically carry her down the hallway. However their progression towards Catwoman's meeting with Penguin would not be delayed.

They took a left turn down a "T" intersection of halls, and then several more left and right turns as they moved deeper into the building. The halls became smaller as they proceeded, and subsequently darker as these back hallways were no well lit.

Finally the half score of guards rounded a corner and the lead thug kicked open a doorway, after which the guards carried Catwoman into what was shown to be a large multi-leveled warehouse that was only sparsely lit here and there. Large sections of cargo shipping containers were interspersed with wooden crates with markings from South American countries, metal boxes with military delineations, and metal and plastic drums of unknown contents. Above the crate strewn floor were catwalks where the occasional armed guard patrolled and looked down into the dark shadows that covered the warehouse floor.

In the middle of this warehouse filled with shelves and creates was squared off open area, it was about twenty feet on each side with a couple paths disappearing between large crates. However it was the middle of the area that drew Selena's attention, as a large metal chair had been bolted to the floor with one large light on the roof of the warehouse illuminating the chair and the area around it; even illuminating the red stains on the concrete floor under the chair and the shackles attached to the arms and legs of said metal chair.

"Waa, Put her in the chair boys, and make sure to lock her down tight, especially those legs of hers. Can't let the cat get her claws into this bird. Waaa" A seedy male voice stated, and the short balding figure of the Penguin waddled into the light from one of the dark alleys that split between the large shipping crates making up the area around the chair.

"Penguin! Damn you! Why when I get my hands on you then you'll learn why birds are a cat's choice prey!" Selena cursed as she started to struggle again, only for the men to force her into the chair and latch handcuffs to her wrists and ankles, effectively pinning her down in the metal interrogation chair.

In typical Penguin fashion, Cobblepot was sporting a black tuxedo coat and trousers with a velvet cummerbund and gold cufflinks. It was almost as if the man had fully embraced the image of a penguin, as the man waddled back and forth on his stunted legs like an actual penguin, a sharp pointed umbrella in his right hand clicking on the concrete and a long filter-stemmed cigarette dangling from his smirking lips under his beak like nose. To top of the ensemble, Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot even had an almost humorously tall top-hat sitting on his balding brow and the remainder of the man's greased back hair.

The caricature that Penguin portrayed could have been humorous on the pages of a comic book, but in real life with the shadows of the top hat covering his face and only showing the gleam of his eyes and sharp white teeth, well it was frightening.

Selena gulped subconsciously before again stilling her features and then glaring at Penguin.

"I'm going to gut you when I get out of," Catwoman started to threaten again only to get cut off as Penguin bashed her upside the head with the weighted handle of his umbrella.

Selena's head shot to the side and she again saw stars. Blinking furiously to try and clear the double vision, she started to realize that she was in serious trouble as The Penguin and the guards standing around her were all a blur.

"Waa, you're not going to be hurting anybody ever again Catwoman. You're not getting out of here alive, and even if you're not the thief with the twenty million dollar bounty on your head, I'll still enjoy gutting you like a fish." Penguin said through a snarl of his teeth as he turned his umbrella around so that the point dug into the bare skin that was showing between Selena's breasts. Then with a snarl and a gleam in his eyes, he started to push the point forward.

"No!" Selena cried, shaking her head vigorously and straining helplessly against her restraints as the point of Penguin's umbrella broke skin and she started to bleed.

"Waa ha ha ha ha, nobody is going to save you Catwoman!" Cobblepot tipped his head back and laughed deeply, only to look up and see a body plummeting right for him.

"WAAA!" Penguin yelled, right before the dead guard from the catwalk above crushed The Penguin to the ground.

"There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world, it would be a shame for you to ruin hers. WA HA HA HA HA HA, I always wanted to say that." A voice stated from the darkness before laughing darkly, sounding a bit like a laughing hyena.

The guards blinked, but then suddenly what sounded like giant bees hummed out of the darkness of the warehouse only for blades to appear in the chests and throats of guards throughout the warehouse.

"Bzzzzz Thunk!" "AAAAAAAH" Another guard screamed and stumbled off the catwalk above to go plummeting to the ground, a black dagger buried in his eye and into his brain.

"Where is he-URK!" A guard standing on top of a shipping crate received a blade to the throat.

"BZZZZZZ Thunk! Bzzzzzz Thwack!" Two more guards standing around the lit clearing in the warehouse died while a third one yelled "LOOK OUT!" and pointed at a particularly dark shadow only to have a dagger fly straight through the air and bury itself between his eyes before any of the other guards could see what the man had been point towards.

The Penguin had probably started out with over fifty guards and bouncers in his warehouse, but they were quickly dying as the blades flew so fast that they seemed to buzz and hum as they split the air.

Guards turned frantically trying find what was killing them, and the stress of the situation had them opening fire on the shadows around them with their machine guns and assault rifles.

But they had little luck, after all, you can't shoot what you can't see and The Penguin's guards and hired thugs continued to drop from the catwalks like some sort of macabre rain.

Penguin struggled to pull himself out from under the dead weight of the guard that had fallen on him while he frantically looked around. Cobblepot was used to being attacked from out of the shadows by Batman, but Batman didn't kill. This was somebody else, and his keen villainous mind figured that they had to be trying to steal away Catwoman; the little hint about not wasting Catwoman's breasts had been a good clue.

"Kill the Cat!" Penguin shouted to his remaining guards as he finished pulling himself out from under the dead body.

"BZZZzz ZAP!" A blade buzzed through the air end over end to destroy the light over the square in the middle of the warehouse, plunging Penguin and his remaining four thugs into darkness. Still, the thugs wheeled around and pointed their guns towards the chair securing Catwoman to the floor and opened fire.

The muzzle blasts of their high powered assault rifles filled the dark square with flashes of light like some sort of weird orangish-red strobe light as the four thugs pulled their triggers and held them down until the guns clicked empty from their extended clips.

"Did we get her boss?" A thug questioned and he squinted into the darkness as the warehouse went quiet.

"Waa, one second." Penguin stated before he twisted the handle of his umbrella and said umbrella opened before suddenly Penguin was bathed in light as the electronics imbedded in the umbrella pole lit up like a lantern to bathe his surroundings in white light.

Penguin and his thugs blinked as the light blinded them for a second, but when their eyes cleared they noticed they had a problem.

The formerly bolted down interrogation chair was gone, and with it Catwoman.

* * *

One second Selena was seeing all of her proverbial nine lives flashing before her eyes, and the next moment Penguin was being crushed by a falling dead body and the thugs around her were dropping like flies.

Through her blurred vision, Selena saw black blurs zing through the air and the guards frantically looking every which way as the black blurs buried themselves into the heads and chests of her captor. Everything was confusing, the repeated blows to her head had no doubt given her a concision, caused by having her head first smacked with the butt of a gun and then the handle of Penguin's umbrella.

Through Catwoman's muffled thoughts she first thought that Batman had come to rescue her, but then the glassy eyed dead stare of a guard on the ground caught her attention and a chill went down her spine; Batman never killed and he definitely didn't make jokes about her breasts.

'_The __League __of __Assassins! __They__'__ve __found __me!__'_ Selena thought to herself, and frantically struggled to free herself from the handcuffs that kept her chained to the metal chair. She looked down at her hands and fruitlessly yanked on the handcuffs holding her in the chair, but all she got was cuts and bruises on her wrists as the handcuffs refused to budge.

Catwoman heard Cobblepot yell "Kill the Cat," and she looked up hear a shattering sound above her as the light above her was destroyed and she was plunged into darkness; only the shadowy outlines of figures around her could be seen due to the remaining lights still glowing in the other parts of the warehouse.

Just as suddenly a large black figure materialized in front of her, and Selena closed her eyes as she knew this was the end.

However rather a blade in the heart or a bullet in the head, Catwoman's eyes sprang open as she suddenly felt her chair being wrenched from the floor, then suddenly she felt that she flying through the air up and out of the center of the warehouse and then back into the shadows of the warehouse floor as the sound of assault rifles firing on automatic drowned out the sounds of escape.

Catwoman blinked and then looked up at the featureless dark figure that had rescued her from certain death, only for a human face to appear before her as the shadows seemed to bubble and flow down the man's head. Selena blinked again, she knew this man!

"Hey Pretty Kitty, I see that the puddy tat is getting into trouble once again." Xander said with a smirk and a twinkle in his eyes as he carefully set Catwoman and her chair down on the ground, the sound of automatic machinegun fire in the near distance protecting them from being heard.

"Xander…" Selena whispered, not believing her eyes as Xander bent down and commanded a bit of his armor's nano-clanks to seemingly drain off of his finger and into the locks on the handcuffs on her ankles; said handcuffs quickly popped open.

"The one and only, and I'm just glad I got to you in time." Xander stated as he finished removing the handcuffs from her wrists, only to find himself in a passionate lip lock as Catwoman jumped out of the chair and wrapped herself around him.

"Murrrrph! Mmmmmm…" Xander's startled reply was cut off by Selena's lips and questing tongue, causing his brain to hiccup for a second before he closed his eyes and enjoyed the kiss for a few moments.

A feminine "Cough, Cough, ahem," sounded behind Xander, causing both Xander and Selena's eyes to shoot open from where they had instinctively closed due to the passion of the kiss. Both Xander and Catwoman sprang apart and swung around, only to see the solid black armored form of Cassandra appear out of chameleon mode. Cassy's helmet bubbled and flowed until it shifted to show her smiling face.

"Do you really think this is the right place to be sucking face Xander?" Cassy questioned with a smirk and an amused twinkle in her eyes.

Xander blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, "Uh, well, it just um, kind of happened." He explained lamely.

Catwoman took a look at Xander, and then at the intruder that had stopped her reunion with Xander. Selena thought, not only did this girl interrupt Xander's thank you for saving Selena's life, but the girl was wearing armor that matched Xander's.

Turning to Xander with a glare and hands on her hips, Selena questioned, "Who is she Xander? And if you tell me that she's your girlfriend or something similar I will not be amused." Selena threatened, and Xander paled for a moment.

Xander cleared his throat and gestured towards Cassy, "Uh, Selena, this is my adopted sister Cassandra Kalderash. Cassy, this is Selena Kyle, aka Catwoman." By the time he'd finished his introduction he was again smiling, though both girls looked each other over in a not quiet friendly manner.

Selena looked Cassy up and down, and licked her lips, a little part of her was surprised that somehow her lip had stopped bleeding. Still Selena focused back to Xander and with a raised eyebrow and asked, "Kalderash? I thought your name was Harris?"

Xander looked at Cassy, then back to Selena and was about to answer, but the sudden silence as the machineguns stopped firing interrupted his statement before he could being a long drawn out explanation.

"Might I suggest we get out of here before they come hunting for us or before you have to kill anybody else Xander? You know Rama Kushna wouldn't be happy with you today." Cassy said with a frown on her face and her hands on her hips as she was disappointed in her brother's rampant blood shedding.

Xander looked at Cassy, and entered into a bit of an internal debate, _'__Ok __guys, __this __is __our __first __supervillain __we __are __having __to __deal __with __face __to __face. __Let __him __live, __or __kill __him __and __be __done __with __it? __My __initial __vote __is __to __kill __him __and __be __done __with __it.__'_ Xander queried his internal psyche and the voices that lived within his mind.

'_Give __him __the __Jam! __Only __one __man __is __brave __enough __to __give __the __Penguin __the __Raspberry!__' _Xander's inner voice of insanity stated, walking into the conference room in Xander's mind wearing a Darth Vader costume, only the helmet was about twenty times too large for the rest of the costume.

The voice of reason just shook his head, _'__Anybody __besides __insanity __have __any __thoughts? __I __see __reason __for __both __keeping __The __Penguin __alive, __and __for __killing __him. __Rama __Kushna __warned __us __about __rampantly __killing __all __that __oppose __us, __but __he __still __messed __with __one __of __our __girls. __Then __again __The __Penguin __is __a __minor __criminal __in __some __ways, __and __though __he __does __provide __a __lot __of __guns __and __drugs __to __the __streets __of __Gotham __he __is __by __no __means __the __sociopathic __killer __that __The __Joker __is. __I __abstain __from __voting __in __this __case.__' _Reason finished explaining in Xander's mind before sitting down and opening a book on how to make friends and influence people.

'_Better __then __the __Joker? __That__'__s __not __saying __much. __My __vote __is __that __we __slice __him __up __and __let __somebody __else __pick __up __the __pieces. __The __only __good __enemy __is __a __dead __one, __and __nobody __messes __with __the __pack.__' _The Primal stated before taking a puff on his ever present cigar and then kicking his feet up on the conference table in Xander's mind.

Xander's newest voice of world domination, looking like a dark lord of the sith, looked around at the other gathered voices and stated, _'__Must __you __ask? __I __find __your __lack __of __decision, __disturbing.__'_

'_Thud!__' _The conference table in Xander's mind shuddered as the voice of Xander's libido pounded his fists on the table and immediately drew all of the attention towards him. Xander's mental approximation of his libido was read in the face, and panting in anger. Never had the other voices, or Xander, seen libido so angry before.

'_He__… __Tried__…__To__…__Kill__…__My__… __Pussy!__' _The little voice of Xander's libido yelled in anger, only to blink and go pale when the little voice realized what he had said out loud.

All of the other voices stared at the voice of libido, stunned.

'_Um, __I __meant __to __say __he __tried __to __kill __our __pussy__cat, __Catwoman, __Selena, __whatever. __My __vote __is __death __and __I__'__m __going __to __shut __up __now.__' _The little voice of Xander's libido finished with a nod and then quickly and quietly sat down and hid his face behind a nudey magazine.

The other voices blinked and looked at each other, and then finally the only voice that was still sitting at the table but hadn't said anything, the voice of Xander's Heterodyne presence spoke.

Xander's Heterodyne voice merely shrugged, _'__I__'__m __with __libido, __better __dead __or __used __for __unspeakable __scientific __experiments. __I __really __don__'__t __like __anybody __who __tries __to __kill __women, __and __I __think __they __should __always __be __killed __if __we __can __get __away __with __it. __I __definitely __say __we __ignore __the __whole __Rama __Kushna __thing __on __this __one, __nobody __messes __with __our __girls __and __lives.__' _The Heterodyne Xander stated with a feral smile that would have been familiar to the enemies of the Heterodynes in the Girl Genius Universe.

And with that, the internal debate was over.

Xander blinked and realized that not even a second had passed since Cassy asked the question. The decision to kill The Penguin was made, and that plus the Heterodyne's mention about scientific purposes gave Xander the idea of performing a trial run with one of his previously failed science experiments.

An evil grin slowly spread across Xander's face, and a gleam came from his eyes.

Selena had never seen this side of Xander before, so she took a step away from him a bit frightened at the insane and blatantly evil look on Xander's face.

Meanwhile Cassy merely face palmed herself and stated, "Oh dear, this isn't going to be good."

"Jarvis, open a portal and send me the Turkey Cooker 2.0!" Xander cackled quietly to himself but loud enough that the girls next to him overheard his statement. Just like that a black portal opened up and a four foot tall by two foot wide silver structure with a long flat face plate and weighted base was deposited in front of Xander where it rocked back and forth until it settled in an upright and straight position.

The "Turkey Cooker 2.0" looked like some weird type of metal sign post, where two legs held up a thick flat sign or billboard, and the base of the sign post was rounded and obviously weighted to keep the sign post standing upright no matter how the science experiment initially landed.

Xander turned to Selena and put out her hand for him to take, his manic smile still painted on his face, "Do you trust me?" He questioned.

"Uh… Yes?" Selena said, her answer sounding more like a question then a steady answer, but she took Xander's offered hand in her own even though he was really scaring her at the moment.

"Excellent!" Xander cackled, then with one hand he reached down and pressed a red button on the back of the Turkey Cooker 2.0 before giving it a single handed toss into the air and back towards The Penguin and his men.

At the same time that Xander threw the Turkey Cooker 2.0 into the air, He pulled Selena closer to him and then Xander and Selena disappeared in a black portal.

"Oh dear, he's done it again." Cassy griped and shook her head at her brother's antics before she too disappeared in a black portal.

* * *

"Waa, Where did she go?" Penguin shouted as he spun around in a circle, ignoring the dead bodies of his former thugs while frantically looking for the person who attacked them and killed his men.

"Um, I don't know boss." One of the thugs next to The Penguin stated.

The Penguin wheeled on his guard and then kicked the man in the kneecap, "Shut up you idiot! That was a rhetorical question!" Cobblepot cursed at his minion, only to be distracted as a loud metallic "CLANG!" sounded behind him.

The Penguin and his remaining thugs spun around to see a metal object wobble back and forth like some sort of weird punching bag, but slowly but surely the device centered and then locked itself to the floor so that The Penguin could read the words embossed on the front of the objects flat sign plate.

The glow from The Penguin's umbrella illuminated the words, and Penguin's eyes went large as he read out loud.

"Front Towards Bird." The Penguin read, and then the Turkey Cooker 2.0, Xander's second attempt at cooking poultry with high explosives, blew up in The Penguin's face; right in the middle of a warehouse filled with smuggled military hardware.

* * *

Xander, Cassy and Selena appeared to step out of dark portals in the air and into the mouth of the dark alley across the street from The Penguin's Iceberg Lounge. The street in front of the Iceberg Lounge was full of screaming patrons of the club as they exited as quickly as they could while firefighters and police officers helped the last remaining people clear the street and the immediate area around the burning club. From the second story windows thick clouds of smoke billowed out of the building and flames could be seen licking at the glass before the windows shattered from the heat and released the smoke into the street.

Selena Kyle blinked at the sudden change of scenery, and she noticed that in the hustle and bustle nobody had noticed the three people appear on the other side of the street as everybody was focusing on the situation at the club. Then she turned to look at Xander and saw Xander's smile falter as she looked up at him with more than a bit of fear in her eyes.

Xander frowned and looked down and then back up at Selena as his armor bubbled and again melted upwards to cover his face. "I'm sorry Selena; I didn't mean to scare you. I only meant to help and make sure you were safe." Xander stated, realizing that his manic laughter and grin had scared his pretty kitty.

Selena blinked as Xander let go of her hand and stepped away from her. Her thoughts were understandably scrambled, what with a near death experience, a passionate "reunion" and then seeing the man she lusted after and had shared a passionate night with appear to be manic psychotic killer. The action and adventure of the night had happened so quickly that she didn't know what to think at the moment, and as often happens in circumstances like this, miscommunications are bound to happen.

Selena frowned, "Well yes but, No, but Xander, that's not-" She started to say, only to flinch and duck along with everybody on the street as a large explosive "KABOOOOM!" lifted the roof off of the building across the street from her. The roof immediately crashed back down on the former Iceberg Lounge followed by the walls of the club and the attached warehouse collapsing in on themselves in a burning inferno. It appeared that all of the club's patrons had gotten out safely, but still the sheer power of the explosion sent the people on the streets running for cover as bits of debris pelted down on the people standing outside the former Iceberg Lounge.

Selena faced the burning inferno that was the former headquarters of The Penguin and blinked again. She stared stunned in awe at the destruction that had happened, a part of her realizing that Xander was the cause of this and had only done so to protect her. The other part of her was still a bit startled at the rampant bloodshed, as the Gotham norm was that the heroes saved the day but didn't kill anybody. She just wasn't sure what was going on.

"Maybe that one night was all it was supposed to be," Xander said mournfully. "But if do you want to see me again, then follow the directions on this invitation and perhaps we can talk again some other time." The disappointment and melancholy was clear in Xander's voice as it echoed out of his armor and Selena swung her head around to see Cassy disappear in a black portal just as Xander set an envelope down on the lid of a trashcan before stepping back as a portal appeared behind him also.

"No! Wait Xander." Selena stated quickly and raised a hand to stop him, her eyes were wide open in shock as she realized her reaction had hurt him, the man that had just saved her life.

Unfortunately it was too late as the black portal snapped closed around him, leaving Selena alone in the mouth of the alley.

Selena's hand slowly dropped and a truly sad look spread across her face as she realized that she had just flubbed the situation. Slowly she walked towards the envelope and picked it up before heading down the street to where she could hail a cab ride home. She realized she had a lot to think about.

Behind Selena the street was a tumultuous chaos of people running around, a chaos that matched Selena's emotions at that moment.

* * *

Meanwhile at Wayne Manor, in the master suite of one Bruce Wayne, Batman startled awake and leapt to his feet only to realize that he was back in his home.

Glaring around him at the empty room, Batman realized that he was alive, unharmed and still in his bat-gear.

Scowling, Batman and triggered his radio system, "Alfred, I'm home."

"Really Sir? I didn't hear your car sir… oh wait, it's just been returned to us via a red portal of some sort." Alfred announced back in the control system.

Batman startled and broke into a run out of his room, heading towards the Batcave beneath the manor as quickly as he could.

"Don't touch anything Alfred, it might be a trap." Batman commanded as he jumped over the second story balcony of his main atrium and then rolled as he landed, coming up in a sprint that would take him towards the library and the secret entrance to the Batcave.

"Is there anybody in the vehicle?" Batman spoke into his communicator as the clock that protected the entrance slid aside and Batman bolted down the stairs towards the cave.

"No master Bruce, but it appears that there is an envelope attached to the window with a bit of tape, It appears to be safe Sir." Alfred announced into the radio just as Batman entered the cave.

"No! Don't touch it…" Batman stated as he leapt off of the upper landing and triggered his cape so that he rapidly glided towards where he saw Alfred standing next to the Batmobile with an envelope in hand.

Alfred heard the rustling of the wind on Batman's cape as Bruce arrived and turned to address the master of the house.

"As I said Sir, it appears to be safe." Alfred announced, showing that the envelope had script written on the outside of it that said, "No Worries, the Envelope is Safe."

Bruce growled and cursed, "That bastard Leviathan is playing with me again."

With that Batman ripped the envelope out of Alfred's hands and opened it to read a letter that was attached to a single invitation ticket.

"Dear Batman or Bruce Wayne (whichever you is the real you),

This letter is to invite you to attend the opening Gala for the Empire of the Leviathan's new Embassy to the United States, which as you already know is located in Gotham city. We hope that you enjoy your next visit more than your first one and invite you to bring a date as well as any Justice League members you would like. Please note that this will probably be the only time that the Justice League is allowed into the inner portions of the Embassy, so we know you won't be able to pass up the possibility of gathering information. We welcome your attempts as they will no doubt be amusing. Please note that we are not your enemy, however we refuse to be intimidated by a billionaire playboy who has a bat fetish. We expect you to be on your best behavior if you choose to attend, and we also wanted to officially notify you that the Leviathan is looking for domestic companies within the United States to help in the proliferation of our medical and philanthropic technology to the people of your country. Wayne Enterprises is but one of several large companies who will be invited to the Gala, and we expect the head of each company to appear if they wish to compete for this contract.

Please RSVP with Miss Von Pinn at Castle Wulfenbach, I believe you have already met and had an electrifying conversation.

Sincerely,

The Crimson Lady,

Ambassador to the United States of America from the Empire of the Leviathan"

Batman stared down at the letter he had read, and then growled as he reviewed the attached invitation ticket.

With a swirl and billow of his cape, Batman spun on his heel while thrusting the letter and invitation into Alfred's hands. Batman marched towards the teleporter system that would send him back to the Watchtower.

"Alfred, lay out my tuxedo. I have a party to attend." Batman growled, before cursing the Leviathan under his breath.

Unflappable as always and with a steady blank expression on his face, Alfred nodded towards Bruce's back, "Very well Sir." Alfred replied, only to be drowned out as the "ZAP!" of the teleporter whisked Batman way to the Justice League's Watchtower.

* * *

A shifty thin man with nondescript brown hair, brown eyes and a face that wouldn't draw attention moved steadily through the crowd of panicking patrons in the street in front of the former Iceberg Lounge. The man casually stepped around a stretcher rushing to help patients overcome by the smoke from the club, and the man continued his seemingly casual walk down the street. His plain grey suit assured that no one paid him any special attention, and in fact the only thing to possibly draw attention to the man would be that he was the only person on that street that was moving as if he was out for a casual stroll in the park.

Ducking under the police tape and pushing his way into the crowd of gawkers and reporters watching the demise of the Iceberg Lounge, the man made his way to the back of the crowd and out into the empty street where he pulled out a cell phone.

Pressing a speed dial number he heard an answering machine click on at the other end of the call, "Thank you for calling Asian Imports International, we are currently closed, our normal business hours are-" The answering machine stated.

"Alexander Harris has been spotted in Gotham City." The man spoke into his cell phone, speaking over the sound of the recording. "Mr. Harris just destroyed the front company of the criminal known as The Penguin, I believe it most likely that The Penguin is dead. Please forward as a priority to the Demon Head." The man announced.

A feminine voice interrupted the message on the other end, "Acknowledged, may the shadows guide you brother."

"All hail the Demon's Head." The man replied, now speaking in Arabic.

"All hail Ra's Al Ghul." The woman's voice replied.

The man pressed the end call button, flipped the cell phone over, tore the back off and threw the back of the phone to the side before pulling out the battery and the sim card which he crushed in his hand. Dropping the phone and destroyed battery and sim card in a trashcan on the side of the street, the man didn't break stride until he reached the corner and flagged a taxi cab.

Stepping into the yellow taxi cab, the indistinct man disappeared amongst the other thousands of yellow taxi cabs that drove Gotham City at night.

Meanwhile in a palace situated above the Nile River in Egypt, an ageless man received the message and laughed in success. Not only had he finally located Alexander Harris, but the current situation would present the perfect opportunity to test both unknowing suitors for his daughter's hand.

Ra's al Ghul stopped laughing and leaned across his large desk to hit the pager button on his communications system.

"Talia." Ra's stated into the phone and waited a brief moment for a reply.

"Yes my Father?" Came the dutiful reply of Talia over the speaker on Ra's desk.

"Have the servants pack your things daughter, you are going to Gotham City. It appears Mr. Harris has arrived in The Detective's city. You will be key in testing them." Ra's al Ghul commanded.

"Yes father, it will be as you command." Talia answered immediately, for all would serve the Demon Head's purposes, even his daughter.

* * *

**AN: There you go, an even 40 chapters published for this story; though it took me a while to get this one out. Hope it was worth the wait as this chapter was packed with lots of different plot streams slowly twining back together after having been weaved separately for so long. Eventually, all will serve the purposes of The Leviathan. Bwa HA HA HA HA HA HA! Um, sorry about that, but it's good to be able to let those out again; I missed writing. **

**So thoughts? Anybody want to take a guess on what happens next? Ready for the party of the century? Please let me know your thoughts, as I've received some great ideas from the previous reviews and messages. I really appreciate it, and they always help to keep the muse flowing. Cheers!**


	41. Chapter 41: A Party to Die For

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: Wow, this took a long time to get right. I know it took a long time, but to paraphrase Rupert Giles, "Dear Lord" did it take a lot of work. Do you have any idea how hard it is to maneuver something like 10 plus integral characters into dialogue and discussions that make sense? Ok, enough of my ranting. The craziness is back, the drama is here, and a side order of revenge followed by a hell of a cliffy; I warn you now and I preemptively ask for forgiveness, but that's how it had to end. With that said… bwa ha ha Ha… Mwu HA HA HA HA, WA HA HA HA HA, BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!... (cackles evilly at the thoughts of his readers getting to the last part of the chapter*) Anyway, hope you enjoy it, and let me know your thoughts (I'd love to see if I can hit over 2k reviews after posting this chapter*). And Honestly, if you could see me now you would see a perfect example of an evil smile stretched across my face. Bwa ha ha ha ha… Cheers!**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 41: A Party to Die For**

"If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn't show up." ~ Dr Seuss

"Hear no evil, speak no evil - and you'll never be invited to a party." ~ Oscar Wilde

The fall high school semester had ended and it was Christmas time in Sunnydale; which in southern California means that it is just as sunny and palm tree filled as the other 364 days of the year. However in the Summers' house the Christmas party was in full swing with carols playing on the stereo and a Christmas tree was decked out with all of the normal American accoutrements; namely strands of colored lights, painted glass balls, and the occasional embarrassing homemade ornament from Buffy's childhood. Seeing as Joyce was the sole maternal figure in the lives of the remaining Scoobies, that and Willow's parents didn't celebrate Christmas and were in fact on another book tour, the gang were all gathering around the table just as Joyce was bringing out a large holiday turkey she had cooked.

"Ok, everybody to the table." Joyce shouted as she maneuvered around Giles and Jenny Calendar who were finishing filling the glasses with water and setting out the other side dishes.

"Coming Mom!" Buffy's voice echoed in from the front room, the sounds of the holiday TV special "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" still coming from the TV just as some elf on the show was talking about Bumble's bouncing.

Willow and Buffy then bounced into the room wearing bright holiday sweaters and were quickly followed by Andrew and Jonathan who were holding a rousing conversation in Klingon.

"Now boys, what have I told you about speaking Klingon at the table?" Joyce chided Andrew and Jonathan with a smile on her face as she entered the dining room for the final trip with a green bean casserole and a set of serving utensils.

"Sorry Ms. Summers," Andrew said as he and Jonathan looked a bit sheepish about being caught in geek mode, so they nodded and simply took their spot at the table only for Jonathan to pause.

"Hey, how did you know it was Klingon?" Jonathan questioned with a startled look on his face.

"Well I used to have a crush on Captain Kirk." Joyce said with a wink, which left both Andrew and Jonathan speechless as they watched Ms. Summers waltz around the table depositing food.

Joyce handed the carving knife and fork to Giles and turned to the group before nodding to Willow, "Willow honey, if you want to light the candle on the menorah you brought we can take a moment of silence and think of those who are special to us before we eat." Joyce finished with a caring smile towards Willow.

Willow smiled sincerely at Joyce and nodded as she pulled a match from the little box in front of her place setting and went about lighting the candles on the menorah; her thoughts firmly fixed on her lost friend Jesse and separated from friend Xander.

The candle light caused reflected flickers to shine off of Giles' glasses, and he reached over and in a sort of awkward British manner gave Willow and Buffy a squeeze on their shoulder as they both sighed at the memory of their lost friends; the holidays always being some of the harder times for those left behind by their loved one's departure.

Buffy looked up to Giles and smiled, her thoughts drifting back to a time when her first Watcher Merrick would have been the one standing loyally at her side.

The silence drifted on for a few more moments before Joyce pasted a smile on her face and tried to get the holiday spirit back into swing.

"Ahem, ok then. Thank you Willow, and now let's dig in!" Joyce stated as she waved towards the food.

"Oh goody! I love this stuffing, and because it's a holiday the calories don't count." Buffy said perkily as she reached for the serving spoon to the bread stuffing that had been cooked inside the turkey…

Only for a loud "KA-ZAP!" to shake the room and the food on the table seemed to explode as suddenly gift wrapped packages seemed to drop from the ceiling and splatted the food on the table below.

"AaaaaH!" Buffy screamed and covered her face as the stuffing in the bowl in front of her splattered all over her face, hair and outfit. Around the room others ducked as the previously carefully prepared food sprayed across the room painting the walls and the people gathered as they all instinctually ducked beneath the table.

Andrew was the first one to poke his head above the table with a look of awe on his face, "Santa does exist!" He said in wonder before turning to Jonathan and punching the other nerd in the shoulder, "I told you he was real. Pay up!" Andrew finished with a smirk.

"Owe, that hurt you dork." Jonathan rubbed his arm and looked at the packages before smacking Andrew up the back side of his head, "No you idiot, it's from Xander." Jonathan finished as he read a tag on one of the presents.

With the mention of Xander's name Willow and Buffy squealed in delight and began digging through the presents to find which ones had their names on them.

"Wait." Joyce stated quietly, but nobody really heard her or paid attention to her.

"Here Giles, this one is for you, and there is even a gift from the Kalderash and Xander for you Jenny." Willow babbled as she handed a gift package to Giles.

"YAY! A New Mr. Pointy!" Buffy squee'd in joy as she finished ripping the paper off a package with her name on it only to find a silver stake that was covered in glowing magical runes and religious symbols.

"I got a new magic book! Oh Giles, what did you get?" Willow questioned with a huge smile pasted across her face.

"Good Lord… It's the complete magical Grimoire of Circe written in the sorceress's own hand writing." Giles stated looking pale at what he held in his hands. Suddenly mad cackling from Buffy's side of the table caused everybody to swing their attention towards the short blonde and stare at her in shock.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha… ahem." Buffy blinked and realized she had been laughing evilly as she tightly clutched the new chrome plated Toastmaster 4000 that she had unwrapped; the name "Mr. Toasty" was inscribed on the side of the plasma blaster/flame thrower. "Sorry about that, I don't know what came over me." Buffy said honestly as she thought quizzically about where the insane laughter had come from.

"NOW WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!" Joyce screamed, and everybody stopped and swung wide eyes to look at the now red in the face and panting Joyce Summers who had finally lost all semblance of patience.

Giles gulped at the look on Joyce's face, Jenny Calendar backed slowly away from the fuming Joyce and Buffy gulped as she realized something; Joyce was the only one at the table that didn't know Xander was alive. That first worrying thought was then followed by one even more scary and it made Buffy freeze in fear; her mother was also the only one at the table that didn't know about Sunnydale's night life and Buffy's role in dealing with it.

"Now what the hell is going on here?" Joyce questioned, throwing her hands about wildly as not only had her carefully prepared holiday meal been destroyed but the person behind said destruction was a young man whom was supposedly dead.

Buffy looked around desperately for some way to explain away the gifts and the previous statements about Xander but saw the same confusion on the faces of everybody else around the table. "Well, um, uh. It's not what it looks like Mom." Buffy pleaded weakly, only for Joyce to turn her glare right at Buffy and cause the shorter blonde to flinch.

"I know when you're lying missy, so consider yourself grounded. Now tell me what is going on right now!" Joyce demanded.

"But Mom!" Buffy began to beg, only for Giles to rest his hand on Buffy's shoulder and shake his head when she turned to look up at her Watcher.

"She has a right to know, and you can't hide it any longer." Giles stated as he took off his glasses and wiped away a bit of cranberry sauce that had splattered on them before shining his glasses on his sweater and then setting them carefully back on his nose.

At that point the presents were forgotten for the moment as Giles began to explain, "Well Joyce, we should take a seat. Now the first thing you need to know is that the world is older than you realize…"

By the end of the night all of those gathered at the Summers' household would realize that it wasn't the Christmas celebration that they had expected. However as Ms. Summers hugged Buffy tightly and mother and daughter rocked back and forth as they both cried, hugged and repeatedly apologized for wrongs done on both sides, well everybody realized that the season celebration had turned out pretty well all things considered. Ultimately Xander's gifts to his friends would lead to a happier family and a happier Joyce who realized that her son in all but name was still alive, and that was the best Christmas gift he could have ever given to both Joyce and Buffy.

* * *

Outside Castle Wulfenbach the Gotham City night sky was lit up by spotlights that bathed the floating fortress in light. All around the airship fortress silver formed shapes of Valkyrie warriors and the black shapes of armored Jägermonsters were swarming everywhere in a show of force, for not only was there a party there that night, but The Leviathan would be in attendance.

In the heart of Castle Wulfenbach, in a dark wood lined room with a buffet set up with food on one side and a walk in closet and sets of clothes changing racks on the other, was The Leviathan; preparing for the night's Grand Gala.

Xander stood in his black three piece suit and adjusted his blood red tie in the gold framed mirror, the helmet of his Leviathan outfit yet to be deployed and his face clearly viewed in the reflection of the mirror. Striking a pose with his hands on his hips and his chin jutted to the side in a dramatic pose, Xander questioned the mirror.

"How do I look?" Xander said with a smile on his face with his chest puffed out while looking over his right shoulder, striking and holding a heroic stance similar to what one would see on the front cover of some cheesy romance novel.

"Like Xander Heterodyne, gentlemen adventurer." Xander's mirror image replied before laughing, a smirk pasted on the reflected image in the mirror as it smiled at Xander's antics.

"Thanks!" Xander said, dropping his pose and smiling back toward the mirror.

"No problem Xander, I actually think Cordelia would have even approved of this outfit. The price tag would at least meet her standards. What's the cost for a three-piece tailored suit made out of nano-clanks going for these days, something like a five million dollars plus?" The mirror asked, giving Xander's Leviathan suit an appraising look.

"Yes, something like five million as far as construction costs go, but it's the options that come with it that make it expensive, not the brand name." Xander said, tilting the gold three-headed dragon pin on his lapel so that it was straight.

Slim and silver nano-armor covered feminine arms wrapped sensuously around Xander's neck and fiddled with the knot of Xander's tie as if it needed to be fixed. Then Artemis pressed herself against Xander's backed and leaned over to nibble his ear playfully; causing Xander to shiver slightly before she leaned back away from him. Xander turned in Artemis's arms to smile down at the shorter Valkyrie tribe war-leader.

"You look positively scrumptious." Artemis purred with a smirk as Xander turned to face her, though her face and long red hair were uncovered the rest of her body bore the full silver body hugging armor of Xander's Valkyrie warriors; the delineations of her leadership position in the tribe marking her armor's pauldron.

"And you as well my sexy war-leader." Xander leaned down and kissed Artemis deeply, and both closed their eyes for a moment at the passion of the kiss before slowly parting.

Artemis looked up at Xander and then chuckled while wiping her red lipstick off of his lips. "You look good, are you ready for the big night?" Artemis questioned.

"I believe so, though I haven't heard from Jenny or Magda yet." Xander stated while sliding a step to the side and turning back to address the mirror.

"Is everything prepared Von Pinn?" Xander asked, and the mirror image of Xander wavered and then blurred until it turned into the computerized display of a Caucasian blonde haired women with one red eye, the other eye white around the pupil, and a set of sharp white teeth. The women in the mirror/computer screen wore a tight Victorian high collared dress, though the outfit was as black as night and looked to be made out of leather. The image was pretty, if you accounted for the fact that Von Pinn looked like she was part human and part Jäger monster.

The image of the Castle's A.I., Von Pinn, addressed Xander in Eastern European accented English. "Yes Herr Xander, the security is in place, the Crimson Lady is on her way to your current location and Magda and Jenny are waiting in the ballroom for you. The Jäger guards and Valkyries are stationed on security duty and we have received positive replies from all individuals who received invitations. Do you vish to address the staff before the party begins Mein Leader?"

Xander nodded briefly as he replied to Von Pinn, "Yes, but we'll wait for Cassandra to join us first."

Turning to give Artemis a look, Xander questioned, "How did Cassandra do with the upload of the Valkyrie power package of nano-clanks?"

Artemis smiled as she moved across the room to the buffet of snacks and drinks and grabbed two glasses of water from a pitcher with lemon slices floating in it, "She's doing incredibly well, we would be pleased to welcome her into our midst as a sister if she didn't already have a roll in your household, which reminds me." Artemis stated as she glided across the room back to Xander and handed him one of the glasses which he took. "The Valkyries were wondering if they could look to recruit from the women's abuse shelters here in Gotham, as well as those located and throughout the world? We believe that we may be able to find women who would like a new life as a part of your warrior tribe, but it's up to you." Artemis finished with a question and a shrug of her shoulders as she deferred to his ruling.

Xander smiled as he took a drink from the water and then gave Artemis a one armed hug as he answered, "Absolutely. I've seen the outcome of abuse first hand, and I think offering those women the chance at empowerment and a new life is a good idea. However make sure to have them screened by our medical and psychiatric corp. first as well as a mental nano-clank upload to assure their real motives. Peace through power and trust but verify first, those should be the credos for enlarging the Valkyrie tribe." Xander finished and set down his empty glass as the door to the room opened, and a shorter woman in a long crimson red Victorian dress gracefully moved into the room followed by Artemis's sister Dina.

Just as The Leviathan bore a featureless mirrored helmet, so did the Crimson Lady bear a featureless helmet. However where as Xander's outfit and helmet were primarily black, Cassandra's new outfit was crimson blood red. The mirrored crimson helmet was perched over a severe looking long red Victorian corseted dress that covered up to Cassy's neck where it disappeared up into the red helmet. The dress then trailed all the way down to her toes where the slim but flowing dress hinted at the solid red heeled and buckle covered boots Cassandra was wearing. Both of her arms were sheathed in gloves that covered from Cassy's fingers to her shoulders where the gloves had a black band tracing at the apex of the shoulder and blending with the dress. Black piping lines accented the corset's boning and the curves of the corseted bust; showing off Cassandra's slim Asian figure. To the outside observer the dress looked almost like some sort of blood colored Victorian era dominatrix or mistress dress, sexy in the extreme but at the same time sophisticated and stayed in that Victorian era look. The fabric, if it could be called fabric as it looked almost like leather, gave off a sense of age and sophistication yet at the same time the mix of lines, details and helmet gave it an otherworldly or science fiction feel.

This was Cassandra's new persona, her secret identity to protect her while she worked as The Leviathan's Ambassador to the United States and to the United Nations. Between the nano-clank upgrades and the new armor Cassandra would be quiet safe, and if ever something was too much for Cassy to handle on her own as the Crimson Lady then Cassy's friend Dina would be there as the ever present body guard. Dina was now sporting the silver armor of the Valkyries, but whereas Dina's sister Artemis had black highlights on her armor and a red plume on her helmet, Dina had red markings and a blond plume on the helmet.

"Do you like it?" Cassandra questioned with a smile from behind her helmet as she raised her arms a bit and gave Xander a twirl.

Xander smiled at his younger sister's antics. The upgrade of the nano-clanks, the upload of the advanced education and the addition of a real family had created a very mature yet still playfully young attitude in Cassandra. If anything, the addition of Xander's science added to the interaction with the Kalderash clan had truly turned Cassandra into Xander's sister; now with armor and super-powered kung fu grip action.

"Yes Cassy, you look great." Xander said as he spread his arms for Cassandra to come to him and receive a hug. Xander gave Cassandra a squeeze, careful not to squeeze too hard with his super strength.

Xander pushed his little sister out to arms length before wiping a mock tear from his eye and faked a sniffle, "Sniff sniff, they grow up so fast. One day they are just starting to learn how to be an assassin and the art of vengeance from their gypsy clan, the next they're all grown up and science has twisted them into an overlord that will spread their brother's dominion and help in perverting the rules of science. Sniff sniff, you make me so proud!" Xander said melodramatically and pulled Cassandra back into his arms for a bear-hug.

Artemis and Dina laughed at Xander's antics, while Cassandra huffed indignantly at her big brother's actions, pushing herself out of his hug as he let her go and then slugged Xander in the shoulder. "Stop teasing me you big meany." Cassandra said in mock anger.

"Ow, so violent." Xander said with a smirk and a twinkle in his eye as he rubbed his shoulder where Cassandra had punched him with her full upgraded strength. He'd definitely felt it, not that it really hurt though as the nano-suit and Xander's upgraded durability easily absorbed the blow.

"Honestly though, I like how your outfit turned out and from the punch I can tell that the nano-clank upgrades have fully taken effect. So are you ready for tonight?" Xander questioned as he leaned over and gave Artemis a quick kiss on the cheek and a squeeze of the shoulder and then smiled at Dina before activating his Leviathan helmet and heading for the door.

"Yes, tonight is going to be a blast." Cassandra answered, gliding along besides Xander as they moved through the wide crimson colored hallways towards the grand ballroom.

The path to the ballroom was lined in dark woods, gold and black metal that were matched with crimson satin wallpaper and the carpet of the hall was also a crimson red. Along the walls were interspersed paintings and tapestries, some paintings depicting member's of Xander's "Heterodyne" family from the Girl Genius Universe and some from his Sunnydale friends as well as tapestries depicting battles and events from Xander's life as well as that of the Grey Knight, and The Leviathan. Interestingly enough, a short distance between the large gilded doors to the ballroom was a floor to ceiling painting of Agatha Heterodyne and Gil Wulfenbach with Castle Heterodyne and the original town of Mechanicsburg in the distance.

Xander had taken the image from the memories of his Heterodyne self and then had them imprinted into a large oil painting. He couldn't help smiling at the painting as in many ways Xander really did look at the two Major Sparks from the Girl Genius universe as being his true parents. After all, Tony and Jessica Harris had not done any really 'parenting' per say, and these days Xander felt more in tune with his Spark and the craziness of that alternative universe as compared to his Sunnydale life. No, nothing could take away his familial relationship that he had with Buffy, Willow, Giles and Joyce back in Sunnydale. However where parents were concerned, the Heterodynes, Wulfenbach, Grandpa Gentleman Adventurer and crazy Castle in the Girl Genius dimension would always be considered his true nuclear family.

Xander approached the double doors and nodded as the two sets of heavily armored Jäger's guarding the hallway back into the residential areas opened said doors for Cassandra, Dina, Artemis and The Leviathan.

Inside the incredibly huge ballroom were male and female servers in tuxedos who moved quickly about as they finished up the last touches for the party. The mix of Jägers, gypsies and minions scurried about the black floor of the ballroom as little pulses of blue and red energy veins marbled the floor at their feet; seeming to beat and flow like the veins of a living creature. Throughout the room were tables with white tablecloths and red accents. Alec Holland had supplied the flowers for the setting, some previously extinct and lost to the annals of time as well as living moving ivy that twined up the back of the chairs in the dining area. Flowers of every shape, size and color seemed to cover the center pieces and the artistic displays on the buffet tables, adding splashes of color and sophistication to the ambiance of the room. The dance area was open and polished to a high sheen while the full orchestra of multi-colored Jägers was a sight to see while they were tuning their instruments; this would probably be the first ever full orchestra that was heavy on accordions.

Yes, tonight would be a night of firsts: first introduction of the Crimson Lady to the world, first open introduction of the Jägermonsters to the world, and the first time that the politicians and President of the United States of America would openly mix and mingle with select Super Heroes and Super Villains alike. Yes, it promised to be a night to remember.

The Leviathan and Crimson Lady's entrance to the ballroom started a stir as the servers stopped what they were doing and moved to gather before their leaders. Two female servers moved through the crowd, indistinct in their own tuxedos notwithstanding the fact that one was an attractive young woman with her brown hair pulled back in a pony tail and the other was an elderly woman with completely white eyes.

Xander smiled darkly behind his helmet as the two women moved forward and he held out a hand to each of them to grasp.

"Magda, Jenny, is everything ready for tonight's guests?" Xander's voice broadcast from the speakers of his Leviathan helmet as he hid a sardonic smirk behind his helmet. He gave each woman's hand a squeeze as they grasped his own.

Both women smirked evilly back at The Leviathan, a gleam to their eyes as Magda replied, "Yes Leviathan, our guests will get a warm greeting… some warmer than others of course."

This last statement was followed by the gypsies, minions, and Jäger's all laughing together as Xander chuckled darkly.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha ha… Excellent my people." The Leviathan stated; his voice causing his followers to shiver in excitement as Xander's Spark flowed into his voice. "Soon we will unveil our science and power to the world. Soon the world will feel our might and beg to join us. And while the world focuses on the spectacle of this evening and the changes we bring, while they stare and clamor for our technology and our miracles, we will be stealthily destroying our enemies!" Xander's eyes gleamed from within his helmet, and the power of his words created pictures in the minds of his listeners as they cheered his speech.

"YES my people! Soon we shall strike back at those who thought to attack us from the shadows." The Leviathan turned his head to stare at his followers who looked back to him with maniacal fanaticism.

Xander released his right hand that was holding Magda's hand, and then pulling his black gloved hand into a fist which he shook in front of his chest as he growled loudly. "Soon, this night in fact! This very night we shall position ourselves to lead this world, to protect our people and spread the power of our Science!"

"YEAAHH!" Xander's people cheered only to settle down just as quickly to hear their Leader's next words.

And Xander's smile grew bloodthirsty to stretch from one ear to the other under his helmet, "This night we gather power and dominion, and this night we strike back at Lex Luthor for daring to attack us. This night… Lex Luthor Dies!"

"YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" The crowd erupted in cheers and even the more pacifistic Cassandra smiled evilly along with her brother from behind her crimson colored helmet.

The stage was set, now all it would take was getting the players to the party and into their proper places. But for the moment, The Leviathan and the Crimson Lady paused to bask in the cheers of their family, their people, the citizens of The Empire of The Leviathan.

It promised to be the pause before the coming storm.

* * *

"Are you ready daughter?" Queen Hippolyta questioned as she opened the door to Diana's anteroom at the Amazonian Embassy in New York City.

"Not yet mother, I'm trying to get this last strand to clasp but I can't seem to reach it." Diana replied as she focused on her reflection in the mirror, attempting to string up a strand of pearls into her hair.

Hippolyta walked up from behind her daughter Diana and helping to finish fixing the strings of pearls and gold chains that adorned Diana's mixed hairstyle of up-do and free floating curls. The Queen then stood back with a smile on her face.

"There, you look gorgeous daughter. Like a true Princess." Hippolyta stated happily, just enjoying how beautiful her grown up daughter was.

"Thank you mother, you look lovely as well." Diana turned and smiled back at her mother; both mother and daughter making a matched pair in flowing white toga like dresses that were bare at the shoulders and hugged their curves as they flowed down to the floor where they both wore gold sandals. The only difference between the two outfits was that Queen Hippolyta had gold barding trailing the hem of her dress where as Diana's was unadorned yet still beautiful in its simplicity.

Diana bit her lip, a hesitance that was most unusual for the woman whose day's job was as the hero Wonder Woman. Hippolyta smiled at her daughter and waited patiently for Diana to speak her mind.

"Mother, have you come to a final decision on what to do about messages from the Gods, the omens that suggest that The Leviathan will only grow more powerful?" Diana questioned.

Hippolyta's smile didn't so much falter but rather faded with the seriousness of the question. Now it was Diana's turn to pause and wait as it appeared Hippolyta was again thinking over the question that had been haunting Mother and Daughter ever since they had reconciled.

Nodding to herself as if coming to a final answer, Hippolyta responded as she looked deep into her daughter's eyes, "I have my daughter, and I believe that both the death of The Grey Knight in our defense as well as our debt of honor due to my disrespect provides us with a manner with which to perhaps temper the more brutal tendencies of The Leviathan." Hippolyta stepped back while holding out a hand to Diana as Diana swiveled on her chair and stood up with Hippolyta's assistance. "But before we make that final decision, I want to take your counsel on this situation. What does your heart tell you Daughter of mine?" Hippolyta finished by clasping both of Diana's hands in her own, both mother and daughter facing each other with nothing but love and caring in their eyes for each other as Diana paused before answering.

Diana looked at her mother, and Hippolyta could seemingly watch the struggle of emotions and thoughts as they played across Diana's face for more than a few minutes.

Finally Diana nodded to herself and raised her head to show the pride and backbone, the steely determination that was the hero Wonder Woman, and she answered her mother's question, "Yes mother, I too believe it is the right decision, and that the honor of our Nation demands it. I will do it."

"So be it." Hippolyta answered resolutely, the same steel and backbone showing through the Queen she again smiled lovingly at Diana and squeezed both of her daughters clasped hands. "I am so proud of you daughter, and know that I will always love you." Hippolyta finished with a look of such caring, the type of look that a Mother holds for their children no matter how old the child may grow.

The steel in Diana's face broke as she smiled, and just like that the beauty and youth of the Amazon Princess was displayed as she looked back at her mother with love. "I love you too mother and I am proud to call you my Queen."

And with that, mother and daughter, joined at the elbow, turned and left the room. They had a party to attend, and a night that promised many changes.

* * *

Meanwhile at Wayne Manor high on the hills outside Gotham City, Bruce Wayne changed into his outfit for the night and finished tucking his white starched dress shirt into the pants portion of his tuxedo. Alfred, the ever stoic butler to the Wayne family, stood patiently to the side of the room as Bruce sat down on the bed to slip into his freshly shined patent leather dress shoes with a growl as he struggled with the laces.

"Do try and relax Sir, it is supposed to be a party after all. Would it pain you too much to have fun for a change?" Alfred politely and patiently suggested to Bruce.

Bruce scowled as he finished tying one shoe lace and worked on the second. "It's not a party Alfred. It might have the thin veneer of pretending to be a party, but make no mistake that I might as well be going as Batman tonight given The Leviathan's knowledge of who I really am."

"Yes sir, but do please remember that you are representing the name of Bruce Wayne to Gotham City tonight, the billionaire playboy and legacy of your parents, not the dark and broody crime fighting vigilante." Alfred chided Bruce, which caused Bruce to turn and glare at his butler.

Alfred's stoic British upper lip barely quivered, but Bruce thought he might have seen just the slightest bit of a smirk before Alfred continued, "Please Master Bruce. That glare failed to intimidate me when it was directed at me when I stopped you from getting into the cookie jar as a child, and it still lacks the level of intimidation that will stop me doing my best for you. You need to relax and try to enjoy this evening since you have chosen not to wear the cape and cowl."

Bruce just frowned and glared petulantly at Alfred, for the butler to the Wayne family was the one man in the world who could make the feared cape crusader actually feel like a child.

Just then the chimes of the doorbell sounded and Alfred excused himself to go answer it while Bruce struggled to tie his bowtie in the mirror situated on the changing table left over from when Bruce's mother and father lived in the master suite.

After five minutes of futilely struggling to get the bowtie just right, Bruce heard the whispering steps of Alfred returning down the carpeted hallway outside the master bedroom.

"Who was it Alfred?" Bruce called out without turning around.

"Your date for the party sir." Alfred replied while standing in the doorway.

Bruce startled, and turned to glare at Alfred, "I don't remember requesting a date for this party." Bruce growled.

Alfred was unimpressed and as stoic as always as he patiently replied, "Yes Sir, I know that. Still I felt that when you heard she was in town you would prefer to keep a more watchful eye on this young lady." Alfred finished, and with that he stepped aside to reveal Bruce's date to The Leviathan's party.

Bruce's eyes went wide, "Talia…" He stated softly.

"Hello Beloved." Talia al Ghul stated as she glided into the room, one black heeled foot before the other as she covered the distance of the room and into Bruce's personal space.

Though it rarely happened, Bruce was without words as he was briefly surprised. However as he was so oft to do when he wore the persona of Batman, he settled for a silent still look on his face as he gazed down into the brown eyes of his sometimes love interest and sometimes enemy. Her long black dress was sedate yet stunning in its simplicity, and a small part of the back of Bruce's mind noted that she was incredibly beautiful. That same part of his mind was then ruthlessly squashed and shoved into the deep dark recesses of his gloomy paranoid mind.

"What are you doing here Talia?" Bruce questioned, a bit of gravel coming to his voice as it sounded like a cross between the voice that Bruce Wayne used and that of Batman; in reality it was the closest to Bruce's real voice that he ever used.

The faintest hint of a smile creased Talia's lips as she reached up and expertly fixed Bruce's bowtie, apparently a skill that was inherent to the female double X chromosome but strangle missing from its XY counterpart.

"I can't want to come visit my beloved?" She questioned a bit playfully.

Bruce's lips dropped into a scowl and he caught her wrist before gently moving it away from him; out of the corner of his eye he noticed in the mirror that his bowtie was now perfect and he mentally cursed the fact that he knew over a thousand different ways to tie up a villain but still couldn't fix his own bowtie.

"No, because I know you and your father." Bruce answered as he let go of her hand and stepped away from her to grab his tuxedo coat. Bruce both loved and hated spending time with Talia, a woman who knew both sides of Bruce's persona.

Talia nodded in agreement to Bruce's statement. "Yes, you do." Talia replied before putting her dainty hand on her hip, and with a bit of pouting in her lips she continued, "Now will you really deny me the pleasure of your company tonight, or will I have to go to the party alone? I'd think that since you know my father you would want to keep a better watch on me." The last part was said with a sparkle in her eye as she enjoyed the intellectual byplay that she could partake in when teasing her Beloved. As her father said, Bruce Wayne, The Detective, was one of the few intellectual equals to Ra's al Ghul, and Talia was the epitome of a daddy's girl. This "daddy's girl" was strictly in the platonic father daughter sense of course, however she looked for a man to wed who held the same mind, power and presence as her father.

Bruce stared at Talia and in his mind he agreed with Alfred and Talia's statement, it was better to keep a close eye on her.

Painting a brilliant smile on his face, the smile that truly portrayed Bruce Wayne as the heart throb playboy of Gotham, Bruce moved forward and offered his elbow to Talia.

"Well then, shall we be going?" He said with a smile, the complete mask of Bruce Wayne fully in place.

"Yes Beloved, this party promises to be amusing and I hope that the other partygoers are as interesting company as you." Talia replied as she took the offered elbow and allowed Bruce to escort her through the mansion towards the waiting Rolls Royce limousine that Alfred would use to chauffeur them that evening.

Bruce didn't reply verbally, but in his mind he feared that the "company" at the party would in fact be as interesting as Talia hoped for. The Chinese had that famous curse, "May you live in interesting times" and unfortunately for Bruce he felt that The Leviathan portrayed the term "Interesting" in all its depictions.

* * *

Interesting is exactly what the party at Castle Wulfenbach promised to be, and it started off with a greeting line where The Crimson Lady, The Leviathan, Igor and their Valkyrie and Jäger bodyguards stood waiting to greet the first guest.

In a not so surprising turn of events the first person in line was the self titled fastest man in the world, Wally West, the Flash.

"Hi! Hello there! It's nice to meet you. Hey cutie! Wait, is that Sparkbuck's I smell? See Yah!" The Flash stated, going up the line from Igor, to The Crimson Lady, to The Leviathan, then Artemis all in one breath, at which point the Flash noticed the tempting smell of his caffeine addiction and became a blur as he zipped across the room towards where a Sparkbuck's coffee bar had been set up.

Xander just smiled and chuckled behind his helmet, "And that is why they call him the fastest man in the world." He joked quietly to his friends and family around him.

Xander's family around him all chuckled back and Artemis couldn't help but reply snidely from within her own silver armored helmet, "Well if he is as fast in other ways, then he certainly isn't the most popular lady's man in the world."

Cassandra couldn't help but giggle from under her helmet as those around her also chuckled, but she quickly stilled as she saw the next guest exit the elevator doors into the Castle's docking bay.

Superman exited the lift followed by Booster Gold and Skeets; the little gold hovering robot.

The Crimson Lady stepped forward with a smirk behind her helmet as she first greeted Superman in perfect Kryptonian, "Greetings Kal-El of Krypton, I am the Crimson Lady, and may I have the pleasure of formally introducing you to The Leviathan." The speakers on Cassandra's blood red helmet made Cassy sound like a mature older women rather than the teenager that she was.

Superman's jaw dropped and his eyes shot wide opened as he was immediately stunned speechless.

"Greetings Superman, and welcome to my new embassy." Xander replied also in flawless Kryptonian with a large smile from behind his Leviathan helmet, oh how he loved messing with the assorted super heroes of this dimension.

Superman turned to stare blankly at The Leviathan and blinked dumbly, not answering at all as Kal-El's brain had done a major hiccup.

"Hey Superman, they sound like you when you're speaking that language from your home planet." Booster Gold stated before looking back and forth between the Crimson Lady and Leviathan and then back to Superman. "I hate it when people speak languages I can't understand. Are they talking about me?" Booster questioned with a bit of a petulant whine, trying to talk only loud enough so that Superman could hear him. Unfortunately for Booster Gold both Xander and Cassy were easily able to hear Booster's muttered complaint given the sensors in their helmets and their own bodily upgrades.

Xander turned his black helmeted visage towards Booster Gold, and then Skeets floating next to Booster Gold.

"Well then, we wouldn't want you to feel left out in the surprises now would we?" The Leviathan stated in English, and with that Xander's black gloved hands lashed out and snatched Skeets out of the air.

Booster's eyes shot open wide and Booster took a step towards The Leviathan with a yell of "WAIT!"

However Booster was too late.

With a deft twist of The Leviathan's wrists the robot Skeet's gold shell, which by all appearances looked to be seamless, split in half before spilling out a foot long by five inches thick multicolored caterpillar. The Alien looking insect squirmed as The Leviathan shook it out of Skeets' shell and too the ground, where The Leviathan immediately crushed the insect beneath his foot.

Now it was Booster Gold's turn to be stunned speechless as his jaw dropped and his eyes shot wide open as he watched The Leviathan casually twist his wrists in a counter motion that sealed Skeets back together.

The Leviathan waved over his shoulder for a tuxedo wearing minion to come forward to clean up the smashed insect at his feet while Xander casually explained, "I never did enjoy that Infinity Crisis anyway, and now with the insect Mr. Mind destroyed nobody will be threatening to destroy all other dimensions and timelines but this one." Xander finished by handing Skeets back over to Booster Gold.

Booster cradled his robotic buddy in his arms like a baby, "Skeets, are you ok? Skeets, talk to me buddy!" Booster pleaded.

"Rebooting… Ahhh, so much better." The voice of Skeets said as it floated out of Booster's hands to hover above the hero from the future and turned towards The Leviathan.

"Thank you Leviathan. For an abnormality of the time stream you aren't so bad." Skeets stated to The Leviathan.

Xander smirked behind his helmet in return, "And for a robot that almost broke Asimov's rules, you aren't so bad yourself Skeets." Xander answered smugly.

The little floating gold robot Skeets seemed to bob in the air as if nodding before turning and floating away slowly, "Come Booster, we have to talk about how you didn't notice I was acting differently from my original programming. Your lack of observation could have invariably doomed the timeline." Skeets said as he floated away, Booster Gold following behind begging for forgiveness.

"Wait, what was that about?" Superman questioned in Kryptonian as he had finally shaken off his stupor.

It was the Crimson Lady who replied, a stately voice issuing from her helmet and again and she was speaking in Kryptonian, "The interstellar insect inhabiting the time traveling robot, Skeets, was about to cause an invasion of this Earth that would see the destruction and collapse of multiple dimensions and timelines." She stated with a brief nod of her head as information streamed across the inside of her helmet detailing the DC Comics Infinity Crisis plot as Xander remembered it from comic books.

"The Leviathan's simple action just saved countless numbers of lives from being brutally and prematurely ended." The Crimson Lady finished explaining casually, like it was an everyday occurrence, before turning and greeting the Mayor of Gotham City and the man's wife.

Superman blinked, and then turned to The Leviathan who was simply standing there looking back, "How… How did you know?" Superman questioned, slipping back into English.

"It's simple, I know a lot of things." The Leviathan answered back in English with a simple shrug. "For instance, I know you believe yourself to be the last Kryptonian alive, but are wrong."

The mental blows just seemed to keep coming, and Superman rocked back on his heels at this latest statement before he shook his head and began demanding information, "Wait, what? How do you know this? Who is it and where can I find them? Do they know my family?" Superman begged quickly, slipping back into Kryptonian in his agitated state.

Xander smiled caringly behind his helmet as he could see the emotions play across Superman's face. Though their situations were different in many ways, Xander still knew what it was like to be completely separated from those he called family, and in his initial days, weeks and months in this dimension Xander had truly thought he would never see nor talk again with his Willow, Buffy or Giles.

The Leviathan raised his hand to stall any further questions and replied calmly in Kryptonian, "Your teenaged Cousin Kara still lives, if my information is correct. Her craft was launched at the same time as yours but didn't have the same technology to launch it here as quickly. Kara's craft should arrive here with her in stasis sometime towards the end of summer or early fall, and it should land here in Gotham's bay amidst a shower of Kryptonite pieces. That is all I know, but you are welcome to the information." Xander finished speaking through his helmet, and he saw the smile of wonder and happiness spread across Superman's face.

Superman darted forward and grabbed The Leviathan's hand before shaking it vigorously, "Thank you. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me and I really hope it is going to be true." Superman finished by giving The Leviathan a hug… only for Superman to realize what he was doing and dart back a few feet while being flustered.

"Um, uh, thanks, and sorry about the hug. I have a Cousin!" Superman stated boisterously as he floated away towards the buffet table with a huge smile plastered across his face.

Behind him, The Leviathan just shook his head before greeting the Mayor of Gotham City and then turning away to greet the President of the United States. The President was accompanied by two pairs of Secret Service Agents and Dr. Amanda Waller, whom Xander had previously scared the crap out of at his first United Nations meeting.

Xander hadn't really thought about it, but he figured that he shouldn't have expected the President of the United States to be the same as in his home dimension. Whereas Bill Clinton had defeated George H. W. Bush to be the President of the United States in his home dimension, here it was some guy named Bill Daniels who was the current President.

"Mr. Leviathan, it's a pleasure to meet you." President Daniels initiated the conversation by sticking out his hand to shake and had a big bleached white toothed smile plastered across his face.

"President Daniels, Leviathan will do as that is both my name and title, though Mr. would be a last resort seeing as I hold somewhere in the realm of fifty separate doctorate degrees." Xander stated through his helmet's speakers as he frowned behind his helmet while shaking the man's hand. There was something about the President that just rubbed Xander the wrong way as the President felt almost as false and artificial as the Sunnydale mayor. Xander made a mental note to send a message to the Scoobies to check out the Mayor of Sunnydale.

President Daniels smile dropped from his face at the same time that the handshake stopped, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend-" The man started, only to be interrupted by The Leviathan.

"Really, then why did you bring the head of your meta-human intelligence services and the current leader of the black ops group the Suicide Squad as your assistant to my Gala?" The Leviathan stated before turning to tower over Dr. Amanda Waller who had accompanied the President. "I'd think that bringing the head of Project Cadmus to a party for a metahuman leader could be seen as an affront. How are the super villains that you force onto your Suicide Squad doing Dr. Waller? Still getting time decreased from their prison sentences for doing the dirty work that your congress doesn't want seeing the light of day?" The Leviathan asked hypothetically as Dr. Waller and the President both paled at Xander's comments, both of them were too surprised to be able to respond.

"No matter." The Leviathan said with a negligent wave of his hand as he seemingly dismissed the President and his aide; Xander didn't have anything against the United States as it was his original home. No, he just didn't like politicians, and he knew the evil that Dr. Waller had and would continue to commit in her pursuit of the perfect specimen that could "protect" the United States.

"Ah, King Orin of Atlantis." The Leviathan stated, talking to Aquaman who appeared out of the lift behind the President along with a pair of Atlantian guards.

"How are your wife and child doing? Have you met President Daniels before, I think you may want to talk to him about some of his administration's latest moves on deep sea oil drilling, oh, and I believe Black Adam will be here, he wanted to speak to you about fig and olive oil exports to your kingdom." The Leviathan said in passing as he shook Aquaman's hand and gestured towards the still stunned President Daniels.

"They are doing good, thank you for asking Leviathan, and yes, I'd like to talk to you President Daniels." Aquaman stated before wheeling on the President.

"Did you know that one of your proposed drilling spots will be right in the middle of one of our kelp farms? I'm sorry, but I don't come and dig for uranium in the middle of your Iowa corn fields." Orin stated as he finished greeting The Leviathan and swung his frowning visage towards the US President. Aquaman then immediately sequestered the now clearly flustered President as the two walked away towards a bar to grab drinks while Orin steered the President by the elbow; the Secret Service Agents and the Atlantian Royal guards eying each other up as threats and pacing along behind.

Meanwhile, The Leviathan just stared down at Dr. Waller until the women let out a choked "Eep!" and fled further into the room after the President.

Xander smirked evilly behind his helmet. "Ah, screwing with politicians, something else to make me like this job more and more… though I can't help but feel dirty in dealing with them." Xander mumbled to himself before leaning over to the Crimson Lady who had finished greeting the Mayor and had come to stand next to Xander while The Leviathan finished talking with the President.

"The trick is to keep the politicians off kilter, make them underestimate you one second and then overwhelm them the next." Xander broadcast from his helmet's communications system to Cassandra's. "But most of all, never show weakness to a strong enemy, and more so to a strong ally." Xander finished tutoring Cassy, and the Crimson Lady silently nodded her head; her red helmet bobbing with her agreement. "Don't worry about not meeting the President, you will have plenty of time to talk to him I'm sure, but we have more important people for you to meet." Xander finished before looking to his next guests.

"Speaking of strong allies," Xander mumbled quietly enough so that only Cassie could hear him before standing up and moving forward to meet his first ally and the man's family.

"Ah, Black Adam, how nice of you to accept my invitation, it has been too long since we saw each other, and this must be Isis and Osiris." The Leviathan stated as his newest guests arrived, Black Adam in his gold and black uniform was accompanied by an exotic looking female beauty of Egyptian descent and a teenage boy also darkly tanned; both of Black Adam's family members were wearing white flowing tops and wraps that looked to have come right out of some Egyptian hieroglyphics found in an ancient pyramid.

"Greetings Leviathan. Yes, this is my love, my Isis, and her brother Osiris; both of whom you have met previously." Black Adam stated as both The Leviathan and the Kahndaq ruler gripped forearms while Isis and Osiris gave shallow bows.

"Wonderful to see you again my dear." The Leviathan stated as he carefully took Isis's hand and kissed the back of it before turning to Osiris and introducing the muscular young man to the Crimson Lady.

"Osiris, I'd like to introduce you to my sister the Crimson Lady, who behind that helmet of hers is an attractive young lady of about your age." Xander said with a smirk from behind his helmet as he saw Cassandra's helmet bob as if she was shyly looking down for a moment. Cassandra might have the education of an evil overlord, but she was still a teenage girl after all.

"Greetings Crimson Lady." The teen Osiris smiled while taking the Crimson Lady's gloved hand and kissing the back of it, causing Cassandra to blush behind her helmet. "Perhaps later you and I could speak more, or perhaps dance?" Osiris questioned before looking briefly to The Leviathan and Black Adam, both of whom nodded in silent acceptance while Black Adam smirked slightly.

"I, I'd like that." The Crimson Lady stated as she saw The Leviathan nod. Both teenagers had problems finding friends whom they could mix with as Xander was a bit protective of his sister.

For some reason boys were a bit scared of spending time with Cassy after Xander introduced them to his version of a shovel speech. Only Xander's Spark inspired shovel speech included a visit to the armory and a walk past Xander's carbonite freezing chamber; a kind of modern day version of the shovel and an acre of land speech but it went something like "If you hurt Cassandra, well then I have an army of laser toting Jäger's and a carbonite freezing chamber, and nobody will find your frozen blasted shell of a body for a million years after I launch it into space."

Black Adam was equally protective of Osiris after the boy's former friend Sobek turned out to be one of the horsemen of the Apocalypse, namely Famine. Thus Osiris rarely got the chance to spend time with people of his own age and had a severe shortage of approved friends whom Black Adam didn't threaten with a vengeful lightning bolt.

Both teens smiled and moved to the side to chat while Isis, Adam and The Leviathan smiled to themselves.

"I appreciate you introducing my brother to your sister Leviathan; he gets so lonely in the palace." Isis stated while laying her hand on the elbow of her husband Black Adam.

Xander smiled from behind his helmet and nodded, "It was my pleasure, my sister needs to gain friends in places outside my Empire, and our Alliance has held firm enough that I trust you and yours. Now if you would excuse me, I see somebody that I need to talk to and I understand that you may want to talk to King Orin of Atlantis regarding some of your people's exports." The Leviathan finished, waving in the direction of where Aquaman and President Daniels were arguing by one of the bars in a corner of the room.

Black Adam silently led Isis away while calling for Osiris to follow as The Leviathan turned to address the graceful dark haired young woman who had just exited the elevators and looked a bit uncomfortable with the ruler of the Empire of The Leviathan moving towards her.

"Greetings Selena Kyle, I'm glad you chose to accept the invitation that was given to you." Xander said from behind his helmet, the tentative smile on his face was hidden by his helmet though it wavered as he approached his one time lover, the burglar known as Catwoman.

Selena was dressed in a black silk dress with a simple set of pearl earrings and necklace, and she bit her lip for a second before bobbing a curtsy that she held before The Leviathan while looking up at him inquisitively and with a hint of confusion on her face.

"Greetings Leviathan, um Sir, um, how do you know my name?" The normally suave and sultry female cat burglar was normally more secure in her position, but the fact that The Leviathan knew who she was and the fact that Xander Harris was nowhere in sight threw Selena for a bit of a loop.

Xander smiled a bit at her comment and reached forward with his gloved hand to take Selena's own hand, "Please rise." He stated as Selena rose out of her curtsey only for The Leviathan to lean forward and touch the back of her hand to his helmet as if kissing it and then speaking as he rose back to his full height.

"As for how I know your name, well Xander Harris has spoken about you a lot, though he wasn't so sure if you would be attending after the last time you parted ways." The Leviathan finished as Xander released Selena's hand and stepped back from her; the unasked question hanging at the end of his statement.

This was one of those hard times when Xander felt torn to throw away his fake personas and just talk to Selena, especially since he could see multiple emotions flow across Selena's face at his pronouncement that he, Xander, had been thinking about her.

Selena's eyes seemed to gleam happily for a second before indecision and sadness crept over her face only to be followed by resolve as she bit her lip in thought before looking up into the reflective surface of The Leviathan's helmet and replying,. "Well then, if you know about our last parting then you probably should know that there was a bit of a miscommunication. I'd really love to clear it up with him… is, is Xander here?" Selena asked the last part, hope coming through her look on her face.

Xander really wanted to just take her in his arms and end the charade, but he saw that people were coming out of the elevator behind Selena and knew that there was no way that he could drop his mask as The Leviathan. There might have been a time and place when Xander had been a solo Scooby where he could have tossed aside his mask, the goof ball persona for instance, to show his true self to somebody he cared for. However here and now millions of people depended on the protection of the mysterious and powerful persona of The Leviathan. The faceless ruler was a more powerful deterrent and protection for his people than any smiling teenaged face could do, so Xander ignored the voice of his libido that was yelling at him to take her in his arms; or just take her, period.

Xander looked chagrined behind his helmet, but then smirked as he replied, "Well I'm sure Xander Harris will love to talk to you, and you never know where he will show up, but I'm positive that he is here tonight and would love to talk to you."

"Really?" Selena said a bit kittenishly, and Xander struggled not to chuckle as Selena subconsciously bounced from foot to foot as a smile split her face.

"Really, I do not make it a habit to make any statement that I don't believe to be true. Now go enjoy the party young lady." The Leviathan commanded as he rose to his full height above Selena.

Selena looked like she was about to say something in reply, but settled for a big smile and another curtsy before swaying off again, the prideful swish to her hips once again on display as Catwoman strutted her stuff into the ballroom. She was looking forward to reconnecting with Xander Harris and the saucy smirk on her lips made that quiet clear.

'_Thank you God for women like that, because God I hate to see her go, but love to watch her leave._' Xander's inner libido chipped in as they enjoyed the sway in Catwoman's step as she waltzed into the room.

'_The motion is seconded, but now is not the time libido.'_ Xander posited back, only for his inner discussion to be interrupted.

"So Alexander Harris will be here tonight." A feminine voice distracted Xander from his enjoyment of watching Selena's strutting catwalk.

Xander turned his helmeted visage to see who had interrupted his viewing pleasure only to come face to face with Bruce Wayne and Bruce's date Talia al Ghul; with several other individuals behind them. It was Talia, however, who was waiting for an answer to the question she had just posited.

"Talia al Ghul, a pleasure." The Leviathan stated as he took Talia's hand and bowed over it while ignoring Bruce Wayne, something that caused the undercover caped crusader to frown for a moment before Bruce recovered.

"Are you in town for pleasure or business Ms. Al Ghul?" The Leviathan finished as he towered over the shorter Talia.

Talia kept a blank expression on her face as she replied with a bow of her head, "Primarily pleasure, though my father asked me to come to the city. I believe you mentioned that a Mr. Harris will be in attendance?" She finished, not allowing The Leviathan to distract her from her original question even if the briskness of the question could be deemed slightly insulting.

Xander paused behind his helmet and his eyes flitted to Talia's date only to see Bruce's eyes go hard as no doubt Batman realized something deeper was going on than just a peripheral interest in Mr. Harris, and don't for a minute think that Bruce didn't remember that Mr. Harris was the name of the vigilante who had been seen traveling through Europe. That coupled with the fact that Ra's al Ghul was nothing if not cagey left Bruce knowing for sure that Talia had been sent to Gotham for more than just fun if she was asking about the whereabouts of a person of interest to the Justice League.

It was only a momentary lapse, still Xander's hyper-acute senses picked up Bruce Wayne's brief slip. However Bruce's face quickly flipped back into that mask of a vapid playboy industrialist who was merely interested in his date's comments.

The Leviathan paused, and then slowly replied, "I would be lying if I stated that Mr. Harris wouldn't be attending; after all you did overhear my statement to Ms. Kyle." The Leviathan stated, answering the question but not really giving Ms. Ghul any new information or room to further that tangent of discussion. The fact that The Leviathan didn't expand on that statement was perhaps telling in itself, and a brief thought flitted through Talia and Bruce's heads, _'Was The Leviathan protecting Alexander Harris?'_

"As I was saying, it is a pleasure to meet you Ms. Al Ghul, I do hope you enjoy yourself tonight. And you too Mr. Wayne, I look forward to seeing your company's bid on mass producing our cure for cancer and malaria. Do keep yourself out of trouble, I know how much you billionaire playboys like to have a good time at parties, but it is just shocking what can happen when people get out of bounds." The Leviathan finished while giving Bruce Wayne a handshake; a handshake that wasn't released until after The Leviathan had stressed his last statement about staying out of trouble while applying a bit more than normal human strength to his grip and hinting at the outcome of Bruce Wayne's previous unannounced visit to Castle Wulfenbach.

Bruce's mask slipped ever so imperceptibly as he gazed up into his reflected image in the black mirrored helmet of The Leviathan. However as fast as the greeting had come, The Leviathan had finished it and then seemingly dismissed the pair as the ruler of the Empire turned to greet the guests behind Bruce and Talia.

'_Ah, the man of the hour. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha._' Xander thought evilly to himself as Lex Luthor and Mercy Graves finished exiting the elevator and moved towards the greeting line.

Xander focused all of his attention on Lex, but still Xander was easily able to see that Oliver Queen, of Queen Industries, and his date had also exited the lift. In the briefest of seconds Xander's computer systems ran a facial recognition program pinpointing Oliver's blonde haired date, and information quickly streamed across the inside of Xander's helmet until he had properly identified Oliver Queen's date as one Dinah Lance, aka the hero known as the Black Canary. This made sense after all, the billionaire Oliver Queen of Queen Industries was also the mild mannered persona of the Green Arrow and a member of the Justice League, and it was well known that the Green Arrow and the Black Canary were an 'item.'

Still Xander had work to do and couldn't get distracted with the details, so The Leviathan approached the bald and smirking Metropolis tycoon Lex Luthor.

"Ah, Mr. Luthor, how good of you to join us." The Leviathan stated in his most soothing suave voice, Xander was smirking behind his helmet as he shook Lex Luthor's hand when the man had approached.

Lex smirked and gave The Leviathan a strong handshake in return, "It's a pleasure to meet you Leviathan. I look forward to LexCorp being chosen as the company that will be licensing your medical technology for distribution within the United States." Lex stated confidently.

"LexCorp hasn't won the contract yet Lex." Oliver Queen pushed his way forward, "I believe Queen Industries is better situated for distribution given our diverse warehouse and manufacturing facilities. Oliver Queen, nice to meet you Leviathan." Oliver stated as he shook The Leviathan's hand with a debonair smile on his face.

"A pleasure." The Leviathan stated before making a casual wave as a nondescript server moved forward with a tray of champagne flutes.

Lex Luthor took a drink off of the tray while totally ignoring the young female server who handed it to him. "Yes yes, but The Leviathan's technology is state of the art and LexCorp is known for integrating latest generation technology and getting it released to the public quicker than its competitors." Lex took a drink from his champagne without so much as thanking the server or acknowledging her. If he had paid attention to her, then he could have seen the brief smirk that passed on the server's lips and he might not have been so quick to drink from the glass.

"If by 'latest technology' you mean 'weapons' and you changed the word 'public' to 'dictators', then yes I would agree with you." Oliver Queen snarked at Lex Luthor with a sneer on his lips as Oliver also received a drink from the tray and nodded politely to the server.

Xander smiled behind his helmet as he saw Lex drink his champagne. Xander figured that he should include Bruce Wayne in the conversation as well, "And what does Bruce Wayne of Wayne Enterprises think about the comments of his competitors?" The Leviathan posited as Bruce Wayne and his date moved forward back into the conversation.

Bruce politely waved off the offer of champagne but offered one to his date Talia. "I think our proposals will speak for themselves. I know I have an excellent team putting together our offer, but frankly this is a party after all and I'd rather enjoy myself tonight." Bruce stated with a dashing smile, putting on his best billionaire playboy impression.

Lex Luthor frowned in disgust at Bruce's actions, while Oliver Queen, also known as the hero the Green Arrow, smiled as he knew Bruce's act for what it was.

Xander smirked behind his helmet as he was also party to the joke. "Absolutely, and how rude of me not to introduce myself to your dates." The Leviathan answered before taking the hand of Oliver Queen's date and bowing over it as if kissing it with his helmet. "What a lovely lark you have here Oliver, almost a beautiful song bird or Canary I would say." Xander broadcast from his helmet, noticing both Oliver and Dinah his date pale at The Leviathan's statements.

Xander smirked again while thinking to himself, _'God I love my day job.'_

'_Go get em boss, and see if you can't snag some of the lovely ladies to be part of the harem.'_ Xander's inner voice of libido quipped.

'_Shut up libido, now's not the time.' _Xander thought back to the little voice that always seemed to have only one thing on its mind.

"Mercy Graves, my Assistant." Lex introduced Mercy to The Leviathan, and both shook hands as Mercy was wearing her uniform grey chauffeur's outfit.

"A pleasure." The Leviathan stated, and Mercy silently nodded in agreement.

Xander's next quip died in his throat and he felt his anger start to rise as he looked over Mercy's head and saw two women exit the elevator.

"If you will excuse me." The Leviathan abruptly halted his conversation with the industrialist trio and pushed his way through them to stand with his guards in front of the elevators, a palpable aura of anger starting to radiate from his being as the Amazon Queen Hippolyta and her daughter Princess Diana exited the elevator.

'_Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire_,' Xander thought to himself as a frown crossed his face and he refused to give his hand or even bow to the two women that moved towards him.

"Queen Hippolyta, what a… pleasant surprise. I didn't think that after the last time we spoke that you and I would have the …pleasure of conversing so soon." The Leviathan stated while pausing to pick the politest way of saying he was ticked off as battle clad silver female figured guards moved forward to silently flank his position barring entrance to the ballroom. Even the Crimson Lady realized that something was going on and moved forward to join her brother facing down the now clearly uncomfortable pair of Amazons.

"In fact, I had been giving serious thought to canceling our treaty due to irreconcilable differences. I believe that is the polite way of terming our last parting words?" The Leviathan finished; his voice smooth but his statements abrupt and heated as he turned to Wonder Women without even giving Hippolyta a chance to reply.

"Princess, I know that the invitation to your embassy stated that you were welcome to bring a guest, but I never expected such a noble addition to our party," The Leviathan said with a stiff head nod to Diana.

Hippolyta colored due to shame and seeing now with a clearer head devoid of pride, she realized just how badly she had damaged her and her nation's relationship with The Leviathan. Unused to doing so to any other than the Greek Gods, Hippolyta dropped to one knee as she gave The Leviathan a bow of contrition, startling Xander.

"That is in fact why I've come, and on behalf of myself and my people I offer apologies for my previous words and actions." The Queen finished not looking up at The Leviathan while Diana also bowed her head beside her mother.

Xander was speechless as he stood there. The voices and emotions in him warred between wanting to grind his teeth and throw the two women from his floating palace, preferably literally out the window, or accepting the apology as he truly did understand the show of remorse that Hippolyta was giving. Never in all of his knowledge about the Amazons had he seen them bow before a man or male figure of any kind.

'_They are weak and undeserving. Crush them under your boot and assume their power as your own.'_ Xander's latest inner voice of megalomania and world domination spoke in Xander's mind, urging Xander's darker side to come forward in reply.

It was the Heterodyne persona who purposed an alternative, _'Hey, I'm not about to be the angel on your shoulder, but I do think you should at least give her leave to rise and hear what she has to say. It's not like listening for a second will hurt us whereas jumping to conclusions might.'_ The Heterodyne persona in Xander's mind left it at that, and the other voices were silent. However, the silence was mostly because the voice of reason was busy keeping its hand clasped firmly over the mouth of Xander's libido who was chomping at the bit to yell something about harems.

Xander stared at the pair and looked silently towards the Crimson Lady who stood next to him. Xander's sister Cassandra, a voice of reason and patience in his life, laid her red gloved hand on his arm and suggested through her helmet's speakers. "It won't hurt to allow them to speak their apology or hear what they want to say before you decide on what to do with them. I would suggest patience brother." The Crimson Lady stated.

Xander stared down at his sister from behind his helmet, and then back to Hippolyta before taking a brief moment to calm himself before replying.

"What do you want Hippolyta?" The Leviathan asked, not accepting the offered apology, but not dismissing it at the same time.

Hippolyta raised her head to look at The Leviathan and stood to her full height, still having to look upwards into the helmet of The Leviathan. "If you would be so willing, and only if you are willing, I would ask that we could have a private meeting later this evening to settle our differences and so that I can show you the full extent of my sorrow at my dishonorable words and actions. I was not… in my right mind, a fact that has been brought to my attention relatively recently." Hippolyta finishes with an endearing smile towards Diana, before giving The Leviathan another pensive look.

Xander paused and just stared silently at Hippolyta from behind his helmet.

Finally after several moments without comment, he answered.

"I will be honest with you Queen Hippolyta. After our last visit I was not looking forward to seeing you again anytime soon, especially after what my new tribe of Valkyries has told me." The Leviathan starts, and Hippolyta diverts her eyes in shame for a moment before turning back to stare back again at the mirrored surface of The Leviathan's helmet while he continued to speak. "However, I will heed your request for a meeting at the end of the evening's gala. I look forward to hearing what you have to say at that time, and if our differences can lead us to a mutual understanding."

Hippolyta and Diana both smiled as Hippolyta responded, "I thank you for your willingness to listen."

The Leviathan in turn nodded and stepped out of the way while the Crimson Lady moved forward to talk to the two Amazons and to lead them into the room while Xander moved to greet the next group of people to enter the room.

After the emotional roller coaster with first Selena, then the interaction with Talia and Lex Luthor, followed by Hippolyta, well frankly Xander was looking for a distraction. Fortunately Lady Luck or Karma decided that Xander could get a break, and he smiled as he saw three figures exit the elevator.

The first of the two figures were easy to recognize, Police Commissioner Gordon and his wheelchair bound daughter Barbara Gordon. However the third figure was only visible to Xander due to his helmet's ability to see through the shadows cast over the third figure's face by the long dark cloak and hood that the third guest wore.

Xander smirked behind his helmet as he moved forward to greet them. "Greetings Commissioner and Barbara Gordon, I'm glad you could leave your police department and computers behind for the night to join us. I do hope you will save me a dance Ms. Gordon?" The Leviathan stated, shaking first Commissioner Gordon's hand before leaning down to brush the back of Barbara's hand with his helmet, leaving the young Ms. Gordon blushing.

There was something about The Leviathan that flustered her, and the comment about her leaving her computers could have meant that he knew about her computer company she owned, or perhaps that she was the computer genius, The Oracle. Due to Barbara's unfortunate interactions with someone named RedTree blocking access to information on The Leviathan, Barbara believed it was the latter but held her tongue as it was impossible to get a read on The Leviathan through his mirrored helmet.

"Greetings Leviathan, we're happy to attend and glad that you decided to place your embassy in our city. It should mean jobs and the potential to re-gentrify some of the more high crime areas of the city." Commissioner Gordon replied pleasantly.

The Leviathan turned his gaze away from the blushing Barbara Gordon and addressed her father James, "No thanks are needed, I hate to see crime flourish, and no offense but there isn't a city in the United States in more need of a strong hand." The Leviathan answered with a wave of his hand. "Putting my Embassy here gives my people the ability to clean up the portion of the city directly adjacent to the Embassy as well as seeing if we can't clean the place up a bit."

James Gordon flushed at The Leviathan's comments and stammered, unsure of whether he should be angry at his city being insulting, or happy that The Leviathan was willing to help out with the crime situation in the city. Fortunately, or unfortunately as he would quickly learn, Commissioner Gordon was saved from making a reply when The Leviathan turned to the tall cloak wearing figure that had taken the elevator lift with the Gordon's up to the floating castle.

"Doctor, I do believe that you can dispose of the disguise." The Leviathan addressed the figure. "Your position here is safe, and if you have reviewed my proposal and agree to follow my rules then my offer of asylum is good and your wife will be healed in no time." The ruler of the Empire finished and Commissioner Gordon and Barbara turned to see whom The Leviathan was addressing, only to see the figure remove his cloak to reveal none other than one Dr. Victor Fries, also known as Mr. Freeze, one of Gotham's greatest Supervillains.

"Dear God!" James Gordon said as he took a step back, interposing himself between Mr. Freeze and his daughter Barbara's wheelchair while going for his side arm.

"Halt!" The Leviathan commanded loudly while at the same time his hand shot out and locked onto James Gordon's wrist, stopping the police commissioner from drawing his firearm.

To the surprise of Barbara and James Gordon, and for that matter a large portion of the guests who had already arrived or were exiting the elevator, the tall blue mechanical suit wearing Mr. Freeze bowed his head and dropped to one knee before The Leviathan.

"I humbly request asylum of The Empire of The Leviathan, and foreswear my life of crime." Doctor Fries requested while bowing his head on bended knee, only to look up from behind his frost covered glass helmet with a pleading look in his cold pale colored eyes, "Just please heal my Nora, it's the only thing I ever wanted to do." The villain pleaded.

"Rise Victor. We will heal your wife and return you to her arms, and both of you shall be healed." The Leviathan stated magnanimously as he reached out a hand to easily pull the doctor and his heavy metal cryogenic suit off the ground. Mr. Freeze had been relegated to the cryogenic metal spacesuit like outfit after an accidental freezing while trying to find a cure for his wife's seemingly incurable genetic disease.

For the first time in Victor's life the geneticist and cryogenics expert, turned villain for lack of a better means to earn research money, looked into the reflective of The Leviathan's helmet with a sense of hope.

Mr. Freeze took The Leviathan's hand and shook it vigorously while replying, "When you sent me the video of that Jäger humanoid being unfrozen and healed of both psychological and frost based injuries, well I knew that your promises to heal my wife were true."

Xander smirked from beneath his helmet as he allowed the Dr. to continue pumping his hand up and down. "Yes Mr. Freeze, I took some of the research from a relative of mine and looked into the use of food preparation technology for healing and resuscitation purposes. When mixed with the concoction in my vats a patient such as yourself or your wife is sure to have a one hundred percent chance of healing."

"Yes yes, simply amazing Leviathan." Dr. Victor Fries stated as he finally stopped shaking The Leviathan's hand. "It was simply amazing I say, and to watch the Jäger being unfrozen with only the side effect of a lack of an inner monologue, why that is better than anything I've ever been able to do. And don't get me started on the use of the EZ-Bake Oven technology, absolutely ingenious my leader!" Victor said gleefully from the glass encased confines of his helmet.

Xander just smiled from behind his helmet and waited for the doctor to say his fill, as the man was still ranting about Xander's genius.

"Why I never would have thought to use food in the revival and healing process." Victor exclaimed, waving his metal armored hands about excitedly. "And to think, the patient is cured and awoken to find fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. Warm cookies, mmmm… what I wouldn't give to be able to eat warm food once again." The Doctor finally stopped talking, a faraway look coming to the man's face as he dreamed about warm chocolate chip cookies.

"Yes, my people only get the best." The Leviathan finished, slapping Mr. Freeze on the shoulder and started to lead him into the ballroom. "Join me and my science team and not only will I fully cure and heal your wife and yourself of your freezer burn ailments, but you can have all the warm chocolate chip cookies you want. I find that Science is best served with an extra large side order of warm food, possibly French Fries. Why remind me some time to tell you about the interesting uses for a stein of beer and some German sausages in the reanimation of dead flesh." The Leviathan stated before waving Igor to come forward.

Igor moved away from where he was assisting the Crimson Lady in the greeting line and moved towards Xander's position while The Leviathan continued speaking, "I'm sure we could talk for hours about the wonders of science and good food, why I wrote an entire textbook on the science and uses of the Twinkie. However I can only imagine that you are impatient to be rejoined with your wife as soon as possible. Go with Igor, he will arrange everything." The Leviathan finished, and gestured towards Igor who bowed and started to lead Dr. Victor Fries away.

Mr. Freeze started to follow Xander's chief minion, only to stop and turn towards The Leviathan one more time, "Thank you Leviathan, you can't imagine how much I owe you for healing my wife, for this second chance to just be happy."

Xander smiled from behind his helmet, "No worries, just do your part to help my people, and I will call us even."

"Leviathan, how could you give asylum to Mr. Freeze? He's one of Gotham's worst criminals!" Commissioner Gordon interrupted Xander's happy mood with his comment, and Xander turned his helmeted visage towards the Commissioner and his stunned daughter.

"Now now Commissioner Gordon, Victor Fries has paid his dues to society and was released on parol over a month ago. He is now under the protection of the Empire of The Leviathan, and will soon be on his way to being a fully integrated part of my science team." The Leviathan responded evenly.

James Gordon looked stunned, and Barbara's jaw literally dropped open.

"But he's a mad man." Commissioner Gordon tried to explain.

Xander smirked evilly from behind his helmet before answering.

"Yes, he should fit right in with the rest of the scientists." The Leviathan stated jovially as he turned and moved into the mass of party goers, leaving a stunned and bewildered pair of Gordon's behind. At the buffet table, a glaring Bruce Wayne watched the confrontation with a growing scowl.

* * *

The party was hopping, in the proverbial sense, meaning that the dance floor, the buffet and bar areas and the tables scattered about the room were all full of people standing about talking. A mix of human and Jäger servers wove their way in and out of the party attendees, which in and of itself was an interesting sight.

"Bruce, would you please try and relax." Talia al Ghul pleaded to her date who was acting more like Batman and less like the persona of Bruce Wayne.

"I don't like it Talia, something about this situation stinks." Bruce frowned as he watched Victor Fries mix and mingle freely with the guests.

Right as soon as Bruce spoke, a steaming tray of individual helpings of some sort of meat pie was thrust under his nose. "Alligatorz Piez? Ve makez it Gothamz stylez, lotz of ze pepperz. Yumz!" A purple furred female Jäger offered, holding out the meat pies to Bruce, and then giving him a wink.

"Grrrrrrr." Bruce growled at the Jäger with a glare.

"Thankz vou, butz I'm vorking andz your herez witz your date cutiez. Ve can rassle somez odtzur time sveetz cheeks." The female Jäger stated with a wink and a slap to Bruce's rear end, before waltzing off with a sway in her hips.

Talia giggled at Bruce's now shocked reaction and he turned his glare towards her, only to be interrupted as the lights in the ballroom dimmed and a spotlight shone on the figure of The Leviathan who stood on the stage in front of the accordion heavy orchestra.

"Welcome to my Embassy," The Leviathan's voice broadcast, the power of Xander's Spark immediately grabbing and captivating the attention of everybody in the audience. "I look forward to many years of prosperous trade and partnership with the United States and the World Governments for the forward growth of humanity and benefit of Man…" The Leviathan paused and looked at Hippolyta and Diana, "and Woman kind. Thank you, now we will start the dancing as servers will be moving about the room to share some of my Empire's delicacies. Enjoy."

The Leviathan then floated off of the stage as the dance floor cleared of people talking and The Crimson Lady glided out of the crowd to join The Leviathan in the middle of the floor.

The music swelled and The Leviathan placed one hand on the small of the Crimson Lady's back, and the other holding a hand, and the waltz began; if a little different in that it had a hint of a polka to the music.

Those watching the first dance begin could see some sort of private discussion go on with the dancers, as every now and then the helmet of the Crimson Lady would nod, followed by that of The Leviathan's. However the first dance was short and ended with The Leviathan bowing to The Crimson Lady who curtseyed in response before The Leviathan led The Crimson Lady over towards Osiris for her second dance as other dancers entered the floor.

Nobody else could see it, but Xander smirked behind his mask as he left the two teenagers dancing behind him and moved across the dance floor to where he saw Barbara Gordon looking longingly at the dancers while her father Commissioner Gordon was distracted talking to the Mayor of Gotham City.

"You look like you aren't enjoying the party as much as you should Ms. Gordon." Xander stated through the speakers on his helmet as he looked down at the wheelchair bound former Batgirl. Back in Sunnydale growing up, both Xander and Jesse had thought that Batgirl had gotten a bum deal with the Joker shooting her in the back. Add to that the fact that Willow had always felt bad for her fellow red head, seeing as Barbara had bright red hair that matched the color of Willow's own, well the original Scoobies had all agreed that it was a shame Barbara was never healed.

Barbara was startled by The Leviathan's question as she had been lost in her thoughts and hadn't seen him approaching.

"Heh, well it's not like I'll be able to do the tango or waltz any time soon, so you will forgive me if I feel a bit left out of the dance portion of the gala." Barbara replied chagrinly, laughing at herself bitterly as she gestured to her unresponsive legs.

Xander's smirk grew behind his helmet, and he replied jovially, "So then, would you care to dance?"

Barbara's pale skin flushed red with a mix of embarrassment, anger and some fluster as there was a bit of an aura about the man that attracted her. Still as a redhead with a fitting temper, the anger won out.

"How dare you! I just said-" Barbara started to snap, only for The Leviathan to cut off her statement as he bent down and picked her up out of her chair.

"I'll take that as a yes." The Leviathan interrupted as he spun her in his arms, twirling the two of them out onto the dance floor with Barbara's paralyzed legs dangling as he easily held her shorter body off the ground.

Barbara just gaped up at the larger and taller Leviathan, and she looked around to see if anybody else saw what was going on. Barbara's head tried to track around the room as they spun, and she noticed Bruce Wayne drop his drink and move forward over the shoulder of The Leviathan; only Bruce was intercepted by his date Talia who pulled Bruce out onto the dance floor.

Xander smiled behind his helmet, noticing that Barbara was moving beyond the stunned phase and back towards getting angry, so he decided to intercede before it became a situation. Xander realized that he wouldn't be able to play out the situation as long as he would like, especially since he saw that James Gordon had realized that his daughter was missing from her wheelchair and currently in the arms of The Leviathan.

"So Oracle, do you miss being Batgirl?" The Leviathan questioned, his words halting Barbara's chain of thought before she could demand he put her down.

A little part of the back of her mind answered 'yes,' but Barbara's lips followed the easy lie that she kept up to those not in Batman's inner circle.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I've never been Batgirl and I don't know who this Oracle is that you are referring too." Barbara stated, trying to look away from the mirrored surface of The Leviathan's helmet, but was helpless to escape the dance floor.

Xander whirled Barbara deeper into the crowd of dancers out on the floor, keeping her well away from her father who was trying to move forward as well as out of the range of the dancing Bruce and Talia. "We both know that is a lie. However in return for your dance, I want to give you a gift." Xander said with a great deal of care coming through in his voice as it was quietly broadcast through the speaker system on his helmet, and a sincere look spread across his face hidden behind his helmet.

Barbara turned her head quickly to look up at the face plate of The Leviathan, only to hiss in pain as a sharp penetrating stab penetrated her back right above the point where her spine was severed by The Joker's bullet many years before.

Barbara's eyes shot open in pain, but then just as suddenly as the pain came it left, and with it a tingling sensation started to form down her back… and into her legs.

Barbara's head spun, and the whirling of the dance blended with the mix of music, beat and swirling dancers made her feel like the world was spinning like a top.

"What did you do?" She gasped, clinging tightly to The Leviathan as the tingles became pins and needles like sensations and her legs started to shiver, the first independent movement that they had made in over five years.

Xander smiled a big grin that was hidden by his Leviathan mask as he answered, "What should have been done a long time ago. You would think that with Kal-El's Kryptonian technology, the Amazon's purple ray and all of Batman's corporate enterprises that they would have simply fixed your spinal cord before this." Xander finished, an absolute shocked look spreading across Barbara's face as his waltz spun her in a circle, only to release her from his arms and allow her to twirl across the floor as The Leviathan signaled for the music to stop playing.

Silence immediately settled over the crowd as the music stopped and all eyes turned towards the path of the paralyzed girl who seemed to spin out of control. Or, at least to what they thought was a paralyzed girl as she twirled effortlessly to catch herself on her own too legs while wearing a pair of heels as well. Barbara finished her pirouette like motion to stop and stare standing, staring down at her own two fully healed and functional legs.

Barbara's jaw was wide open, and she looked down at her legs, and then back at The Leviathan.

"But, but why?" She stuttered to say, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Because," The Leviathan replied, his voice filled with sincerity and easily heard by everybody on the dance floor, "Because it was the right thing to do."

"Barbara…?" James Gordon's voice asked hesitantly, tears forming in Barbara's father's eyes as he finally pushed his way through the dancers only to watch his daughter standing again.

"Daddy, I can walk again!" Barbara said joyfully, and ran across the floor to crash into her father's arms; both father and daughter hugging and crying with joy at the miraculous cure.

There was crying and sobbing in the audience, and many a man had to retrieve their handkerchiefs for use by their dates, though some of the men were crying also; Batman would never admit to the moisture in his eyes, it must have been an eyelash in his eye… yeah, that was it.

In the midst of the reunion and as everyone watched and clapped for the father and daughter, The Leviathan disappeared.

* * *

While most in the crowd were excitedly watching the display of Empire healing technology and The Leviathan's actions, well others were not so happy about the display.

"What a pitiful display of weakness." Lex Luthor sneered under his breath to Mercy Graves as they watched father and daughter hug each other and cry in each other's arms. "The Leviathan could have had control of Gotham's police force if he had played his cards right and blackmailed Gordon, but no, he's just as weak as I expected." Lex finished while finishing off the last of his champagne.

"Well then it should certainly make negotiations easier from our perspective." Mercy added from Lex's side in the corner of the room where they had positioned themselves for the best view of the party and its guests.

Lex sneered at his assistant, "Just because he shows weaknesses in caring for people when there isn't anything in it for him doesn't mean that The Leviathan is stupid." Lex stated, gesturing towards the President of the United States who was excitedly talking to his companion Dr. Waller while pointing towards the Gordon family.

"The perfect example being the excitement that seems to have been created in President Daniels and his advisor." Lex explained, "I'm sure that the President and his political party will be only more than happy to give The Leviathan whatever he wants given proven results rather than just the promises The Leviathan had suggested before the United Nations. Still, something about this whole situation smells fishy."

A tray of still wiggling squid like tentacles was thrust in front of Lex's face by old wrinkled feminine hands.

"Calamari?" The server offered with a large smile on her face while making sure the baby Cthulhu tentacles were right under Lex's nose. "We grow our own variety of squid monsters which produce the best Calamari known to man." The white eyed old server said with a large smirk and a bit of a sparkle in her pale milky colored eyes.

"Urp." Lex paled and covered his mouth as he struggled to not throw up as a sudden strong nauseous feeling immediately overtook him.

"Hey! Get that out of here." Mercy demanded, pushing the tray away from Lex Luthor while the server merely nodded her head and departed with a smile.

"Are you ok Lex?" Mercy questioned with concern as her boss started wavering on his feet and broke out in a sweat.

Lex didn't reply verbally, but the loud disgusting gurgling sound that issued from Lex's stomach was all the reply that was needed.

Lex Luthor's eyes went large and he clamped one hand over his mouth and the other over his rear end before sprinting across the ballroom towards where the bathrooms were positioned, Mercy chasing after him asking if there was anything she could do to help.

The duo sprinted across the room totally unaware of the milky white eyes that followed their path with a malicious smirk on her face. Magda's job had been successful in completing the job that Jenny had begun earlier that evening. A two part chemical reaction, a tag chemical that was cued to a specific scent trigger hidden in a glass of champagne, add the scent of raw Cthulhu tentacles and wa-la; double double toil and trouble, stomach churn and bowels rumble for Lex Luthor.

Throughout the room the serving Gypsies paused briefly to smirk at Lex Luthor's disjointed sprint to the restroom, and it was all Magda could do to keep from chuckling evilly, for Lex Luthor's punishment was only beginning to build up to its climax.

* * *

Bruce Wayne was frustrated as he watched from the arms of his date Talia as The Leviathan not only seemed to force a dance on Barbara Gordon, the former Batgirl, but also healed her from her paralysis. Batman might have been known for being a dark and scowling vigilante crime fighter but he truly cared about those who were part of the "Bat" clan. The problem was that though Batman was close to Batgirl, Bruce Wayne was of no real relation or familiarity with Barbara Gordon. Thus Bruce had no excuse to impose on his apprentice's teary hug with her father James Gordon or approach her immediately to address the change in her life.

Bruce had tried to keep the scowl off his face while dancing with Talia, however the green tinged couple who waltzed by him was the last straw on his patience; only the presence of Talia kept Bruce from confronting Pamela Isley and her date.

"I need a drink." Bruce stated as he stopped dancing suddenly and dragged Talia to a chair at the edge of the dance floor.

"I'll get us some punch." Bruce said, forcing a smile on his face that stayed only until he had finished holding Talia's chair for her and swiveled on his heel to storm away before she could reply.

Teeth grinding, fists clenched, Bruce Wayne stomped across the room with a stormy look on his face until he reached the buffet table and the punch bowl.

"Would you like some punch Bruce?" The brightly smiling Superman offered, handing over a glass of crimson red punch to the plain clothed dark knight.

Bruce glared at Superman and the hero's cheery disposition before finally nodding and accepting the glass of punch.

"Thanks Kal." Bruce replied before turning to stand side by side with Superman while looking out at the room, both taking measured sips of their punch.

The pair looked as different as night and day, the brightly smiling Boy Scout hero of Metropolis versus the scowling tuxedo wearing Dark Knight of Gotham. They stood there silently for several moments.

Superman smiled.

Bruce Wayne scowled.

Superman thought about his cousin coming to Earth and smiled larger.

Bruce Wayne thought about The Leviathan and questioned what sinister motives were behind the ruler's latest actions and frowned deeper.

Still the two heroes remained silent; only the sound of slurping punch punctuated their inner thoughts.

Finally Superman looked down at the slightly shorter Bruce and asked, "Why are you more grumpy than usual?"

Bruce glared at Kal-El, "You mean besides the fact that Black Adam, Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy, Lex Luthor and The Leviathan are all at the party?" Bruce asked hypothetically.

Superman's smile wavered as he looked around the room, just in time to see a pale and sweating Lex Luthor run out of the room while covering his mouth with one hand and rear end with the other. Superman also didn't miss the brief pause that many of the servers made while smirking at Lex Luthor's actions before the servers went back to work.

Bruce Wayne noticed the same thing. "Something about this party smells rotten." Bruce growled.

A tray of assorted cheeses was thrust in between Bruce and Superman by a pink furred hand.

"Cheezes? Tryz da gorgonzola or da limburger, de are deliszeous!" A sharp toothed Jäger offered with a smile.

Bruce glared, and Superman blinked wide eyed at the Jäger with the serving tray of cheese.

The Jäger looked from one to the other, and when neither man accepted any of the offered cheese she gave a haughty sniff at the two.

"Finez, be zat vey." The server finished, turned and moved away with a huff, "Morez for meez." The server said while popping several cheese cubes in her mouth.

Superman blinked again, and then looked at the dance floor just as he realized that he recognized one of the dancers that had just moved out onto the floor, but wasn't sure where he had seen the man before.

Superman squinted and his smiled disappeared completely, "You're correct, something doesn't feel right here."

Bruce Wayne looked over at Kal-El and followed Superman's gaze to where a dark haired young man in a tuxedo and glasses was dancing with someone Bruce recognized; Selena Kyle, aka Catwoman.

* * *

"Can I have this dance Ms. Kyle?" A deep masculine voice asked from behind Selena, causing her to stop her furtive searching for Xander from the side of the dance floor and turn around.

Selena turned to face the smiling figure of a tall broad shouldered man who smiled at her through his glasses with a goofy smirk.

Selena frowned and planted her fist on her cocked hip as she got ready to tell the stranger to 'get lost' only for said stranger to push his glasses down to the tip of his nose and give her a wink over the top of them.

Selena's jaw dropped as she recognized Xander. She blinked once, and then jumped forward to throw her arms around his neck while kissing him soundly.

A laugh escaped Xander's lips at Selena's actions before being suddenly surprised by a gyrating armful of gorgeous woman, and he smiled through the kiss while pulling Selena close.

A short passionate kiss later and both pushed back and tried to speak at the same time.

"I'm sorry I-" Both said at the same time, Xander's hands still resting on Selena's waist while her hands were twined around the back of his neck as she looked up at him.

Both paused, and then started speaking again, "You first," Both said again at the same time, causing both to laugh and wait for the other to talk first.

Selena bit her lip as she looked up at the taller Xander, and Xander smiled caringly down at her and paused for a second before he spoke hesitantly.

"Selena, I'm sorry if my actions towards Penguin and his goons scared you." Xander apologized looking away while he spoke quietly before looking back at her. He cringed a bit, willing her to believe his words, "You have to understand that I would never hurt you. I care for you and will do everything I can to make sure nobody can-"

"Shhhh." Selena said, resting her finger on his lips and interrupting him with a saucy but sincere smile that softened as she saw the look in Xander's eyes.

"I'm the one who should apologize." Selena stopped him from continuing his apology, only to have to silence Xander again with a quick kiss and a smile as he tried to deny that she owed him an apology.

"No, please." Selena continued as she pulled back from the kiss.

Xander nodded silently as he waited for her to continue.

Selena looked around, and then led Xander by the hand out onto the dance floor so that they could have a conversation that was covered by the Om Pa Pa of the orchestra as two of the Jäger musicians went into a tuba and accordion duet that the crowd continued to waltz through.

When Selena was ensconced in his arms and they were effectively lost in the crowd, she continued while looking up at him. "I am sorry I reacted poorly to you, but, well, I'm just not used to seeing people die I guess. Sounds funny given some of the crowd I mix with." She said with a self deprecating chuckle as she looked down.

Xander smiled and kissed her forehead, causing her to look up at him again.

"I understand." He said with a bit of a laugh under his breath. "You're so used to Batman and the other heroes that don't do more that beat the crap out of the villain while still saving the girl." He said with an understanding smile, his patented goofy Xander smirk quirking up one side of his mouth. "But the truth is, I'm not a hero and I don't think I ever could be that type of hero." A dark look came over his face, and his eyes kind of lost their focus on her as if he was seeing memories and thoughts of someplace other than right where he was. "Nobody touches my girls and gets away with it." He said with a bit of a growl coming through is voice.

Selena shivered at the sound of his growl as the vibrations of the low sound vibrated from his chest and into her body. There was something dark and deliciously naughty about Xander that just tugged at her. She used to feel that way about Batman but the Bat was all broody and angsty and no real action when it came to the romance side of things. Xander had that same dark aura of danger that called to her bad girl side, yet also had a loving and fun emotional side that allowed her to connect to him.

Selena smiled a bit cattily at him and gave him a saucy look, "Oh, so you think I'm your girl am I? And what's this plural use of girlssss." She questioned, with the last part about girls coming out in a hiss while putting just the slightest bit of heat into her words and stressing the word "your" in her first question.

Xander's eyes snapped out of that distant look and down to her, dropping wide open as he heard that "Boy you are going to be in trouble" sound come through Selena's voice; that type of instinctive tone of voice women have that triggers a fear sensation in men, like when they were out too late with the boys, forgot to take out the garbage, or missed some sort of anniversary or birthday and can't for the life of them remember what they missed.

"Um, uh, um…" Xander stuttered wide eyed.

Selena looked up at Xander and couldn't help releasing a girlish giggle, only to realize what she had done and then looked around quickly to make sure that nobody had heard such a sound issue past her lips.

The moment had been broken however and Xander realized she was just teasing him, so smiled warmly down at her, he liked quirky strong women, so there was no wonder that he found her attractive. Here was the fem fatale Catwoman, who was every comic book geeks' wet dream, and she felt comfortable enough in his arms to not only tease him but let loose a giggle.

"Well yes, I figured that night in Bialya pretty much included you in the group of women who I care for and would willingly kill for to protect." He stated honestly, a bit of his heart in his eyes as they spun about the dance floor in each other's arms.

The music changed and Xander looked over Selena's head at the tempo switch, only to see Superman staring right back at Xander.

'_Uh, oh. Um, Huston, I believe we may have a problem.'_ Xander thought to himself when he realized the scrutiny he was getting from Superman.

'_It's the glasses wise guy; you may be disguised from most of the guests, but you look just like somebody who sold Superman ice cream amidst his week from hell.'_ Xander's inner voice of reason popped in.

Xander looked down at Selena and smiled, however he realized that his face must have shown some sort of change in emotion as she was looking quizzically up at him with one raised eyebrow.

"Heh, I hate to just meet up with you again and then disappear, but it looks like I need to make a quick exit." Xander said hesitantly, his words having the expected reaction as Selena's eyes became a bit stormy.

"Now wait a second." Selena said a bit heatedly, "I came to this party just to see you so we could talk, and now that I finally meet up with you you're saying you're going to leave me?" She questioned hotly.

Xander spun her in a circle and said, "Look over towards the buffet table and tell me what you see."

Selena looked over Xander's shoulder and gazed over towards said table, only to see Superman and Bruce Wayne next to him focusing back at her and Xander.

She looked up at Xander startled, "Superman and Wayne?" She questioned.

Xander merely nodded with a smile back at her.

"And why may I ask is Superman glaring at you and threatening to interrupt my fun time?" Selena asked with a pout.

Xander looked to the right and to the left, and then grinned back at her and whispered, "Well, you remember that week when Superman wore the fantastic man cape and all of those pranks went off in Metropolis?" He asked conspiratorially.

Selena nodded, and then realized what he was saying which caused her eyebrows to hitch upward, "You mean?" She questioned.

"I cannot confirm nor deny that I may or may not have played a significant or minor role in said pranking." Xander said with a quirky grin, "Or in lawyer speak, I plead the fifth." He finished, and then looked over towards Superman whose eyes had just gotten large. Xander's smile grew until it threatened to stretch from ear to ear before looking back down at Selena, "And now Mr. Super-snooper with the extra special hearing knows for sure that he has met me before and most definitely wants to have a chat." Xander said with a laugh.

His smile and humor was so infectious that Selena couldn't help but laugh also as he darted his head down to kiss her as he waltzed her towards the side of the dance floor opposite of Superman and Bruce Wayne.

Xander and Selena kissed passionately as they reached the end of the dance floor, and then separated.

"Don't think I have forgotten about that multiple girls statement, you and I are going to talk about that. I'm not so sure about dating a tom cat." She said playfully but with a definite message in her comments.

Xander smiled thoughtfully and caressed her cheek and down her neck as he broke the hug and stepped back. "I absolutely understand pretty kitty, and frankly I have to say that my life is crazy. However I promise to be one hundred percent honest with you when next we meet, ok?" He left the proverbial ball in her court.

Selena didn't wait long to answer and smiled back at him before giving him a seductive look and cocked her hip, which did great things for her figure in the long silk dress. "You better be, I've got my claws into you, and it will be up to you whether it's enjoyable or whether you get more than a love scratch." She said with a wink and swayed away as she saw Superman moving around the room towards them.

Xander couldn't help but pause to watch her sashay away from him, but then shook his head to bring him back to the present.

Turning around, Xander saw that Superman was only about seven feet away on the other side of a table that was between them.

Thinking fast, Xander's eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped open as he pointed behind Superman, "Dear lord, what in the world is that!" Xander shouted while looking over Superman's shoulder.

"What? Where?" Superman, and several of the guests seated at the table stated and they turned to look behind Superman at what Xander was supposedly pointing at.

However nothing was there, and by the time Superman had turned around, neither was Xander.

"Dang, I'll have to catch up with that Xander some other time." Superman said as he shook his head in disappointment at himself for falling for such a simple trick, his ma would be ashamed of him. With that the Man of Steel moved away from the side of the dance floor and towards the bar where he saw Wonder Woman and her mother chatting The Flash and some of the other guests. Superman realized that he needed to save Wally from his usual women tactics before The Flash got into too much trouble and Wonder Woman knocked Wally out again.

Neither Xander, Selena nor Superman saw the smirk on the face of the attractive brunette who got up from her chair on the edge of the dance floor only to follow the departing Selena Kyle who was on her way to the lady's restroom.

* * *

Speaking of restrooms, while Xander was having fun with Selena Kyle on the dance floor, Lex Luthor was busy on the toilet wishing he could just hurry up and die as the cramping, diarrhea and vomiting felt like they were killing him.

"AAAAaaaagggh." Lex groaned as he released the contents of his stomach out the back before a "grrrrgggle gurgle" was followed by a "Murrrphgh" as he threw up something that strangely looked like carrots; strange given the fact that he hated carrots and never ate them.

Lex wiped the sweat from his bald forehead as the horrid feeling passed for a second.

"Lex?... Lex? Are you ok in there?" The muffled voice of Mercy Graves echoed through the closed door to the men's restroom.

Lex's only response was an "Urp" and more vomit in the trash can he had snagged on his way into the bathroom stall.

However strangely enough, after that last bought of nausea finally passed he did start to feel a little bit better.

Leaning to the side and giving his toilet a courtesy flush, Lex called out over the sound of the flushing toilet, "I feel like shit Mercy. As soon as I get done here, we are going home." He yelled back, his voice echoing off the marble walls of the lavatory.

The room went silent as the echo's of Lex's shout faded away, and the industrialist tycoon and Superman antagonist gave a sigh of relief as he started to feel better.

"Ahhh, that feels better." Lex sighed as he made one final bowel movement and his normal smirk came back to his face…

Only for the toilet beneath him to drop out and tip backwards into a trap door that sent Lex Luthor, and the contents of said toilet, sliding down a water slide while Lex's pants and underwear were tangled around his ankles.

"AAAAAAGGGGHHH!" Lex Luthor screamed as he disappeared into the depths of Castle Wulfenbach.

Outside the bathroom, Mercy Grave's heard the Lex's shout and realized that it was different than his earlier groans of pain.

"Lex?" Mercy shouted. "Lex what was that?"

When no answer replied, Mercy shoved open the door to the men's bathroom and attempted to rush in.

Attempted, being the key word, for just as she pushed the door open a slot in the ceiling above her shot open only to release large grasping tentacles with purple spots that really livened up the color scheme of the floating castle.

Mercy's forward motion into the bathroom was halted cold and she was yanked upwards into the opening in the ceiling as slimy purple poke-dotted tentacles muffled her screams and twined around her arms and legs.

A second later, the trap doors closed, and none of the guests were the wiser that Lex Luthor and his assistant had just left the party prematurely.

* * *

Meanwhile, Xander darted out of the ballroom and down a hallway at super speed before slowing to pass two guards that were halting guests from proceeding deeper into the castle. Ultimately the guards were more symbolic given the castle itself would take care of anybody who roamed too far afield. In reality, the guards were more there to protect the guests rather than the castle. After all, international incidents could just ruin your day when you had to explain why some country's ambassador was killed by drowning in a pool of tapioca pudding, or stepped on a crack and broke their back, or when they reached to pick up a supposedly dropped coin only for the floor to open and drop them into a pit of acid spraying spikes.

Anyway, Xander rounded the corner away from the hallway that led to the ballroom and then moved up to a wall that held paintings of some of Xander's heterodyne Ancestors, specifically Lady Agatha Heterodyne and her husband Gil Wulfenbach. Pictures taken from Xander's memory of Xander's alternative self and which held some of Xander's fondest memories, even if it wasn't quite clear whether or not he had really ever experienced them in the first place given the melding of multiple personalities from different dimensions.

As Xander approached the painting a click sound was heard and said floor to ceiling painting slid into the ceiling, exposing an elevator. Xander walked into the elevator and the painting slid closed behind him, just as the elevator started its rapid downward movement.

"Is everything ready Von Pinn, our guest isn't too comfortable, now is he?" A feral evil smile coming across Xander's face as his tuxedo and glasses seemed to bubble and flow until he was once again dressed in the garb of The Leviathan.

"Absolutely not Herr Leviathan." The voice of the Castle's A.I. replied before cackling evilly. "The facilities are read and a Lazarus Pit Vat is prepped and ready for rounds two through one thousand."

"Very good my Muse of Protection… or should I re-label you the Muse of Vengeance?" Xander quipped from behind his mask.

"Why can't I be both?" The voice of the A.I. hissed, its voice tinged with pleasure of the blood shedding about to begin.

"Very well, you can be both." Xander replied with a smirk, just as the elevator doors hissed open and Xander entered a large dark laboratory; the only light being a solid bright spotlight that shown down on the standing metal bound figure of Lex Luthor.

The heels of Xander's black dress shoes clicked ominously on the metal floor of room as he made his way towards his captive. A metal rack had been set up, and Lex Luthor's hands and legs were spread eagle in an uncomfortable stretched position. The billionaire supervillain had been stripped to his whitey tightys and was bound in solid bands of metal every five inches along his body. The light from above was clearly blinding Lex from being able to see anything in the darkness around him, and the clicking of Xander's dress shoes was the first hint to Luthor that he wasn't alone in the room. Coming into the light, Lex Luthor growled and cursed at Xander.

"Leviathan! What do you think you are doing? When I get out of here I will destroy you and your puny little empire!" Lex Luthor spat.

In return, The Leviathan didn't answer but rather did a silent complete circle around the bound Mr. Luthor, making sure that everything was prepared for the evening's main event.

"My Dear Lex," The Leviathan's voice deeply rumbled, a hint of maniacal glee coming through his words, "you won't be leaving here at all, so don't worry that little bald head of yours. However first before we get to that, I'd like to introduce you to a dear friend of yours whom you've never actually met."

The click of dress shoes was the first hint that another individual had joined the conversation; however the perfect mirror image of Lex Luthor in a suit and sneer walking out of the shadows was not what the real Lex Luthor had ever expected.

"Lex Luthor, meet Mimic, or as I like to call him, Lex Luthor 2.0." The Leviathan said with evil humor dripping from his voice.

The real Lex paled before blustering, "I can see what you're trying to do. You'll never pull this off!"

"Oh but Lex, we already have." Mimic stated with a sneer that was the epitome of Lex Luthor, Mimic's voice also an exact recreation of Lex Luthor's voice down to the very pompous twist and down note that Lex normally ended his sentences with.

"You see Lex, for all intents and purposes, Mimic is you." The Leviathan explained, moving to stand next to Mimic before taking out a handkerchief and using it to casually buff the shine of Mimic's bald head before turning back to Lex Luthor.

"Remember the gift box in your office?" The Leviathan questioned, and noted as Lex's eyes seemed to dart back and forth remembering back before his eyes went large.

"That was you!" Lex cursed at The Leviathan.

In return, The Leviathan gave a little jaunty bow, "But of course, not only was it a nice opportunity to cover you in the excrement that you so deserve to wallow in, but the mouthful of sewage nicely hid the addition of the nanotechnology that I inserted through your mouth and into your blood stream." The Leviathan finished buffing Mimic's head to a glossy sheen, and then The Leviathan tucked his handkerchief back into the breast pocket of his suit.

Lex was just speechless as The Leviathan continued to explain.

"Since that time we have been mapping every facet of your mind, your body, your psyche, and your secrets." The Leviathan said the last part with a growl.

The Leviathan then began to prowl back and forth in front of the bound Lex Luthor, as if an animal that was waiting for the right opportunity to pounce.

"Add a dose of protein and carbon based organic nano-clanks that can assume any form, and wa-la, now you have Mimic, a creation of synthetic and carbon based protein formed nano-clanks that can mimic everything about you right down to the odor of your stinky feet, the sheen on your bald head, or even that cancerous tumor that was formed due to over exposure to Kryptonite. We know your mind, we know your sins, and we know what part you played in attacking my people." The Leviathan stated the last part with malicious glee as he moved slowly forward so that his helmeted face was right in front of the tightly bound Lex Luthor. "Every organ, every dental pattern, every fingerprint and thought are Mimic's, and now they are mine." Xander finished with a predatory growl through his helmet's speakers as his eyes flashed yellowish green for a moment.

Then as if flipping a switch, The Leviathan was suddenly standing several feet back and next to Mimic as The Leviathan's voice took on a jovial carefree manner. "You however, well, I'm going to give you to some people who have just been dying to get their hands on you. Well I brought them back to life again after they died, you might recognize my friend Jenny here as the one who gave you the champagne, or at least the first part of the poison you imbibed tonight. She's here to make sure that my monologue goes no farther than between you and me." The Leviathan stated as Jenny appeared in the light, the click of her heels echoing her entrance as she moved forward into the light with an innocent look on her face.

Lex looked quizzically at the girl; he simply didn't recognize the young woman and couldn't remember ever meeting or seeing her before.

"Don't recognize her? Well how about if I say she fell from a helicopter with a knife in her chest?" The Leviathan added with a flippant wave of his hand.

"Remember this?" Jenny asked as she pulled out the military combat knife that Lex Luthor's men had given to her so long ago.

Now Lex blanched white, for he definitely recognized her and the knife she was wielding.

Jenny Kalderash waltzed up to Lex while twiddling the knife in her hand, "Well I saved it just for you, and since I didn't really like it in the first place, I thought I would give it back to you." She finished with an evil grin, right before she buried the knife point first into Lex Luthor's crotch.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Lex screamed bloody murder, or at least bloody member considering his member had just been bisected by a K-bar combat knife.

"Shhh, shhh, hush now." The Leviathan said in a manner in which one would use to quiet small children while blurring forward and clamping his black gloved hand over Lex's mouth to stifle the screams.

"I wasn't done talking yet, and it isn't polite to interrupt when I am introducing you to people." The Leviathan stated before waving and Magda walked out of the darkness still in her server's tuxedo while Lex Luthor groaned and screamed behind Xander's gloved hand.

"And here is the bearer of the other part of the poison that caused you to feel like your stomach was going to liquefy and leave you through you anus." The Leviathan ushered Magda forward, "I present Magda, Elder Woman of Clan Kalderash and her family who will be entertaining you for a long, long, very long time, for Gypsy vengeance is something that is best savored and served cold."

With that, Magda raised her hand and a fireball formed in it right before she shoved the ball of flame into Lex's right shoulder, burning a hole through his flesh with an evil smile on her lips.

Xander smiled evilly behind his helmet as he stopped covering Lex Luthor's mouth and moved out of the way as more and more Gypsies of Clan Kalderash moved into the light; all of them bearing knives, clubs, a few torches, and even one who had a stack of pineapples in his arms.

"Have fun Lex." The Leviathan stated as he turned and started to leave the Laboratory. "Oh, and Magda, when you kill him, please make sure to shovel as much of his body into the Lazarus Pit Vat as possible, I'll eventually want his head in my brain trust, but until then it's best if we recycle as much of his body as possible. I'd hate for your message of retaliation to be cut short because we've run out of fresh Lex Luthor." The Leviathan stated evilly before stepping into the elevator that would take him back upstairs.

"Remember, waste not, want not." The Leviathan finished, and with that the elevator doors closed to return Xander to the party upstairs. Behind him in the sound proofed laboratory, all that could be heard were the screams of Lex Luthor and the maniacal laughter of Xander's tribe of Gypsies. In the end, the hundreds of years of the vampire Angel living with a soul would pale in comparison to the latest vengeance that the Kalderash Clan met out on its aggressor.

* * *

"James, quite a night. Congratulations on your daughter being healed." The Mayor greeted Commissioner Gordon as James moved out of the doors of the ball room and out onto a glass walled observation room where the guests were allowed to smoke. The Mayor had a large cigar puffing in between his teeth, and he had brought along a bottle of whiskey and several glasses purloined from the bar in the ballroom.

James Gordon sighed; the bow tie of his tuxedo loosened up as he was emotionally and physically drained from the events of the night. "Thank you Mayor." James replied simply as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and shook one loose before lighting it with a small disposable lighter from his pocket before laying the pack of cigarettes and the lighter on a table by the window.

James Gordon leaned on the window sill and stared out at the city before taking a big inhale of his cigarette, and then he slowly exhaled a large breath of smoke. His daughter Barbara was inside speaking with Bruce Wayne about some sort of computer work or something related to her current company, and he had just wanted to get a break while trying to grasp the changes that would come from his daughter being healed.

Looking out over the dark shadowed city of Gotham, James's eyes took in the robotic police blimps whose spotlights scanned the dark streets below. "I have a feeling that this is only the beginning of the changes that The Leviathan is going to bring to our city." Commissioner Gordon said pensively, taking another inhale of his nicotine fix.

"Heh, that may be, though I doubt the man will be bringing too much craziness to the city." The Mayor said chuckling while trying to pour himself a drink while juggling the multiple glasses.

Ironically enough, or really not that ironically given their proximity to Xander and their location on his airship, as soon as the Mayor opened his mouth to make the quip, purple poke-dotted tentacles shot out of a slot in the floor and snatched the pack of cigarettes and lighter off the table.

The Mayor's jaw dropped as he looked at the floor where the tentacles had to have come from, and then back at Commissioner Gordon and the table where the pack of cigarettes had just been, only to shift his view back to the place where he thought he had just saw the tentacles but was now a seamless floor.

The Mayor looked James Gordon in the face, both men wide eyed.

"I think I need a drink." The Mayor said, attempting to toss back the glass of whiskey… only for the panel in the floor to shoot open again and the purple tentacle dart out grab the glass and bottle of whiskey right out of the Mayors hand before disappearing into the floor again.

The mayor looked down at his empty hands, then back at Commissioner Gordon and before saying, "I think I've had enough to drink, I'm going to go home now."

And with that, the Mayor left.

James Gordon on the other hand just looked around and shook his head; just what he needed, another crazy in his city.

* * *

The toilet in the women's bathroom flushed, and then the door clicked as Selena strutted out, still very happy after her run in with Xander. After she had gotten to the bathroom, she found a note with a telephone number deposited into the cleft of her breasts and between her strapless bra.

Selena smirked wickedly and thought to herself, _'That naughty naughty boy, I like him. Roawwww.'_ She purred in her mind as she moved towards the mirror to touch up her makeup.

An attractive brunette was just adding the last touches of powder on her nose before pulling out some red lipstick from her purse while shooting a smile Selena's way.

"I see you were having a fun time tonight, how long have you known Xander?" The stranger asked, surprising Selena a bit with the question.

Selena stopped examining herself in the mirror and turned with a raised eyebrow, a bit of a catty look on her face, "For a while now. Why? Who are you, one of his girls?" Selena questioned with more than a little bit of heat coming through her words.

The brunette's reply was only to chuckle huskily before smiling back at Selena while putting away her lipstick and clicking her small purse shut, "Ha, ha, no, nothing like that. My name is Talia, and Xander is merely an acquaintance you could say. I first met him in Las Vegas and he protected me from some terrorists." Talia stated, not supplying her last name.

Selena's catty look faded off her face and was exchanged for a smirk, "He does seem like the type to save damsels in distress, though that dark side of his is simply dreamy." Selena purred the last part while facing the mirror again, using the corner of her finger nail to remove a smear of her lipstick before pulling a tube of crimson red lipstick out of her purse and reapplying it to her lips.

"Isn't he though." Talia stated with a smile as she washed her hands.

"Well it was nice meeting you." Selena stated, smiling at her fellow admirer of Xander before sashaying out of the restroom.

"You too Selena Kyle." Talia stated under her breathe as she watched Selena leave the restroom and waited for Selena to fully leave before Talia pulled out her cell phone.

"Father, I believe I have the target for the test." Talia stated into the phone before nodding as she heard someone answer on the other end of the line. "Yes, and from the way Bruce was glaring at young Alexander when he was dancing with the girl you could tell that she meant something to him as well…" She was silent again before almost bowing towards the phone, "No, I don't think she is anyone special in particular, but both men are interested in her… Yes father, it will be as you say." She finished before hanging up and quickly moving to leave the restroom and catch up to Selena, she had a trap to set.

"Oh excuse me," Talia said as she pushed the door open to the restroom only to have to move out of the way as Dr. Amanda Waller shoved her way in without an apology or excuse on her own side.

The short squat and rather rotund Doctor Waller glared at the attractive brunette before proceeding to the restroom stalls and closing the door.

"Ahhhh," Dr. Waller sighed as she sat down on the toilet, relaxing after the tense evening… only for a trapdoor above her to open and Mercy Graves to fall out of the ceiling.

Fortunately for Mercy, Dr. Waller completely cushioned her fall.

Unfortunately for Dr. Waller, Mercy's fall caused Amanda Waller's head to bounce off the bathroom stall, knocking the dear doctor unconscious.

Ultimately though Mercy was totally oblivious to the situation she found herself in as she shakily stood up, a cigarette dangling from her lips and a half full bottle of single malt whiskey grasped in one hand. Mercy's chauffeur's outfit was totally mussed as her underwear was peeking out of the back of her unbuttoned pants, and her blouse and jacket were miss-buttoned; clearly showing that she had lost her bra somewhere in the confines of the castle.

Mercy stumbled as she stood up, and weaved from side to side with a smile on her face that would have taken an industrial sand blaster to remove as she struggled to unlock the bathroom stall door.

Fortunately for Mercy, who was quite inebriated on top of exhibiting a rosy glow, the portal in the ceiling opened up and a tentacle shot out which unlocked the bathroom door for her before giving her a playful swat on the butt.

"Quit it you, you've had your love'n." Mercy slurred before playfully swatting back at the tentacle which waved goodbye to her while she stumbled out of the bathroom.

"Where have you been?" A snarling and immaculately dressed Lex Luthor demanded as Mercy exited the doors to the women's bathroom.

Mercy blinked, and then smiled up at Lex and swayed back and forth, "Looking for you, Hic!" She answered, hiccupping at the end before giggling.

Lex gave a disgusted huff before turning and walking towards the exit, expecting her to follow, "We're leaving." He demanded as Lex Luthor led the tottering Mercy Graves from the castle, totally unaware of the fact that it was an imposter she was leaving with.

* * *

Xander waited patiently as the elevator rose up from the bowels of the castle, catchy and somewhat annoying elevator music playing in the background to which he hummed along.

"Sir, the party goers are starting to leave the Castle, and Queen Hippolyta and Princess Diana have been lead to the anteroom of the Castle's throne room." The voice of Xander's Jarvis A.I. reported in Xander's Leviathan helmet.

"Thank you Jarvis. Please have Cassandra, Artemis, Igor and a squad of Valkyries join me in the throne room. The Queen and Princess can wait until we are fully ready." Xander replied to his trusty A.I.

"Very well sir, Cassandra is saying goodnight to Osiris, Black Adam and Isis and then states that she will meet you there." The British accented Jarvis supplied.

"Ding," The elevator gave a jaunty sound as it reached the top floor where the throne room was located, and Xander glided out into the hall in his Leviathan outfit; immaculate suit and blood red tie, shoes just as shiny as they had been at the beginning of the night. He moved forwards towards the private entrance to the throne room, a silver clad and fully armored and helmeted Artemis holding open the door for him as she gave him a greeting.

"How has the night been so far Xander? That brunette you danced with looked pretty saucy; I wouldn't mind you taking a roll in the hay with her… as long as I get to join in." Artemis finished with a throaty chuckle that did great things to Xander's libido.

Xander smirked behind his helmet as he moved into the throne room and saw that the walls were lined with fully armed and armored Valkyries, the silver of their armor standing out against the gold, dark wood and crimson fabric of the walls and floor.

"Behave Artemis, that woman happens to be the famous burglar Catwoman. She's got claws and isn't afraid to use them and not everybody is as accepting and welcoming of new women joining my bed as Jenny, Tara, Dora and you are. Frankly, I still think all it's going to take is one woman too many asking to join my bed and you'll flip and try to kill them." Xander said jokingly, to which Artemis's reply was to slug him in the shoulder.

Her playful reply was interrupted by a large red portal snapping open which Cassandra and Dina exited from, Cassandra wearing her full Crimson Lady garb and Dina fully armored as the head of Cassandra's bodyguards.

"Are you two flirting again?" Cassandra teased through the speakers on her helmet.

"What, you want some tips on how to better flirt with Osiris?" Xander teased back, leaving Cassandra blustering and too gob smacked to respond, which caused Xander, Artemis and the rest of the Valkyrie guards to laugh at the goings on between brother and sister.

A blue portal opened and Igor stepped through, his emotionless face causing the rest of the people in the throne room to still their humor and start to become serious.

"Master, are you ready to entertain the request of Queen Hippolyta and Princess Diana?" Igor asked as he came to stand by Xander's throne and wait patiently.

Xander huffed petulantly at Igor's ruining the playful mood.

"Fine, be that way Igor." Xander pouted while flopping into his chair, sprawling out so that he was semi-recline in a show of lazy disregard for the situation. Still he made a powerful statement as the golden doors of the throne room opened to allow Hippolyta and Diana entrance only to see The Leviathan showing a blatant disregard and lack of respect for the topic they wanted to speak to him about.

Hippolyta and Diana chanced to look around, and Hippolyta gulped as over a hundred feminine figures in stretched body hugging armor turned silver mirrored helmets to watch Hippolyta and Diana's every move; a sense of open hostility seemed to radiate off of the Valkyrie guards that was only punctuated by The Leviathan's show of disrespect. All together it made Hippolyta's situation clear, that she better have something very important to talk about or she and her nation could very well be in a lot of trouble.

No one in the throne room made a sound as Hippolyta and Diana made soft padding sounds on the thick red carpet that ran up to the throne and dais shut behind them with a thud. The Crimson Lady stood to the right of the throne with her personal guard Dina behind her, and Artemis and Igor stood to The Leviathan's left staring silently at the approaching duo.

Finally Hippolyta and Diana reached the foot of the dais where they dropped to a single knee and bowed to The Leviathan who remained sprawled on his throne, legs spread casually as he sat diagonally in his throne, arms resting casually on the armrests of his chair, and he shifted and threw his left right leg to dangle over his right armrest as his foot swung with a casual disregard.

Hippolyta and Diana waited to be addressed, and they waited for several minutes until they both realized that The Leviathan wasn't even going to take the time to acknowledge them; making them realize just how tenuous their position was.

Finally after more than five minutes of silence where The Leviathan and his people stared down at Hippolyta and Diana, the Queen of the Amazons decided to speak.

"Leviathan, I sincerely apologize for my disrespect to you and your people." Hippolyta offered, looking up from her bowed position to face the black mirrored helmet of The Leviathan.

She continued to wait for over a minute, and just when she figured out that he wasn't going to answer her- he surprised her by speaking.

"And the disrespect you showed to the Bana-Mighdall Amazons, those who have chosen to become my Valkyries rather than live in the shadow of your dishonor and be relegated to the scraps from your table?" The Leviathan questioned, his disgust coming through his voice as he looked over to where the silver armored Artemis stood next to him, her red plume emblazoned down the back of her helmet.

He refused to look down at Hippolyta while he spoke, rather he reached over and stroked the hip of Artemis, and Hippolyta was momentarily shocked to see the female warrior lean into The Leviathan's touch.

Hippolyta swallowed as she realized her mouth was dry, and then spoke again.

"For that too I apologize, as well as my disrespect to your family and especially to the memory of The Grey Knight who died for my people." Hippolyta added, hoping that her words would be sufficient.

Unfortunately, she was mistaken.

The Leviathan lazily turned his gaze to face towards the Amazon Queen, as he slowly replied, "What good are the words of one whose tongue has already been used as a barbed weapon to stab supposed friends?" He asked hypothetically as he leaned forward in his chair and swung his leg off the armchair to rest with his elbows on his knees as he faced her, and it was as if an aura of power struck Hippolyta and Diana as Xander turned the full power of his Spark on whom he viewed as the prideful Queen of the Amazons.

Xander saw Hippolyta and Diana almost fall over as he silently growled behind his helmet, not broadcasting the sound but striking out at the pair with the full power of his displeasure.

"What good are words when your actions have spoken louder than any apology you could make? What good are your words Queen Hippolyta given the actions of the Grey Knight, the man whose actions saved your people at the sake of his own life, only to be insulted by you again?" Xander questioned angrily from behind his mask, as the voices of the Primal and that of World Domination counseled '_No Mercy.'_ Xander let his anger come forward at all of the abuse and pride that Hippolyta had cast upon him when he only sought to help her and her people.

No, mere words would not be enough.

Hippolyta gulped, and licked her lips to try and wet her mouth to speak as almost palpable waves of anger seemed to buffet her and Diana. It was almost as if The Leviathan on his throne was some sort of angry god had come down to earth to show her the error of her ways. This was why the Greek Gods had sent Diana to bring her mother back to the right path. This was why the Gods had demanded that Hippolyta come to apologize to The Leviathan, for this type of an angry Leviathan could lead to the destruction of her people if not the world.

Words would not suffice, only actions would prove her apology true. Only actions would have any hope of swaying The Leviathan from his anger.

Hippolyta stood, hesitantly, almost having to physically force herself from her knees as every fiber of her being wanted to make her kowtow to the buffeting power of The Leviathan's power, the awesome might that was the power of the Spark to dominate the will of others.

Still, she was a warrior Queen, and though she had dishonored herself in the past she would make up for the error of her ways.

Rising, hesitantly and shaking as she did so, she bowed her head but stood before The Leviathan as she responded to his truthful accusations.

"You are correct Leviathan," Hippolyta offered as she dared not look The Leviathan in the face even though she had found the strength to stand, looking the man in the mirrored face was just too much at that moment.

She swallowed and spoke again, "You are correct, words are not enough to apologize for my and my people's dishonorable actions. Only actions will suffice." Hippolyta stated, and then waved for Diana to stand.

"Thus it is the will of the Gods, and as it was in ancient times." Hippolyta stated. "To cement the proof of my apology and that of my people, to form a lasting bond of peace between our two people…" Hippolyta continued, as Diana stepped forward towards The Leviathan.

"I offer my eldest daughter Princess Diana as your wife." Hippolyta finished.

Silence.

Pure absolute shocked speechless silence settled over the room.

Xander blinked.

Cassandra blinked.

Igor stared forward emotionlessly.

Then as one: Xander, Artemis, Cassandra, Dina, and the rest of the Valkyries shouted, "WHAT!"

Only to be followed a moment later by Artemis screaming in rage as she attempted to tackle Diana only to be stopped by her sister Dina.

"I'll Kill her! Nobody marries my man before I do! Let me go! Let me go Dina!" Artemis screamed in rage as she was held back by Dina, several other Valkyries helping to keep Artemis from murdering Wonder Woman who just stared at Artemis in shock.

Xander merely blinked stunned, and in the back of Xander's head the little voice of Xander libido jumped on the conference table in Xander's mind and thrust a suddenly appearing sword towards the ceiling while bellowing, '_Now is the time...F__OR THE HAREM, CHARGE!'_

* * *

**AN: BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! WA HA HA HA HA HA HA! So much fun! So much evil evil evil fun. Sorry gang, that's the end of the chapter and you will just have to wait till the next chapter to see the chaos that explodes in Gotham due to this situation. After all, an event such as being offered Wonder Woman as your wife would have to be balanced out by bad luck… a whole lot of bad luck. Get ready for Xander's really bad, no good, extra horrible night of bad luck, for Murphy has decided to dance the foxtrot, and he's brought lady luck for his dancing partner. Let me know what you think, I'd love to see how many recommendations, reviews, replies, and pm's I can get after this chapter. You have no idea how long it took to write this; ok you know how long it took since the last chapter, but it was a doozy to write. Cheers!**


	42. Chapter 42: BOHICA

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: Chapter 42 is here, and it was written a heck of a lot faster than 41 because I didn't have to weave so many character conversations to be just right. The next few chapters will be a bit of character development and interaction, so those of you who like the deeper thinking and relational aspects should enjoy it. For those of you who come here for the chaos and action, well there will definitely be a buildup in both, climaxing in another huge war/battle; at the end of this chapter you should know what is coming. ;-) Thank you to everyone who reviewed, recommended, pm'd and gave me your thoughts and introspection which help me tighten up and weave the story. Cheers!**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 42: B.O.H.I.C.A.**

Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.

It's always easier to get a partner if you already have one.

If a man speaks deep in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him; is he still wrong?

The two things no man can ever understand; Women and what makes all men complete damn fools over women.

~Murphy's Laws of Love

Xander was in trouble, only he didn't even know the half of what was coming his way. The Spark, that force which Xander had been imbibed with, that creative force of creation, that essence of the God wave was by its very nature pure chaos; powerful powerful Chaos.

With that in mind, the forces of the universe were ever swirling around Xander, an anomaly in his dimension and even the time stream, and through the earlier part of the night everything had been going amazingly well for Xander. Well it was at this point that Lady luck had decided that it had been far too long since Xander had a rash of bad luck similar to the time where Xander woke up hovering at 15,000 feet above his bed. Now Karma partially disagreed and suggested balance was needed. What started as a polite disagreement between the powers of fate, namely Lady Luck and Karma, soon devolved into a chaotic catfight where Murphy was serving popcorn and taking bets with Chaos. Ultimately good or bad would be in the eye of the beholder, however nobody disagreed that Xander was about to experience a state of life that could best be described by the Military acronym of B.O.H.I.C.A. When spelled out, B.O.H.I.C.A means "Bend Over, Here It Comes Again," and it is one acronym that rates up there with SNAFU, and FUBAR. These are all nice abbreviations for saying "Congratulations! You're Screwed! Now have a nice day." Thus was Xander's life.

Yes, everything about the Gala and the opening of the Embassy had been going Xander's way up until that point. What point you may ask? Well the point where Charlie decided to dance the Foxtrot at Xander's Gala, and he had brought the Murphy sisters as his dancing partners.

"WHAT!" was shouted at the same time by Xander, Artemis, Cassandra, Dina, as well as the rest of the Valkyries.

"I'll Kill her! Nobody marries my man before I do! Let me go! Let me go Dina!" Artemis screamed in rage as she was held back by Dina, several other Valkyries helped to keep Artemis from murdering Wonder Woman who just stared at the Valkyrie in shock.

With that, Chaos decided to throw its two cents into the mix, and the craziness was off and running round the bend and making for the straight away.

Xander shook his head to clear his thoughts, however it was incredibly hard to think over the sound of Xander's inner voice of his libido as the voice galloped about the inside of Xander's head with a fake wooden horse between its legs, sword in hand, blowing the cavalry charge on a bugle and screaming, _'For the Harem! Charge!'_

Xander thumped himself on the side of his head and looked down at the now stunned Hippolyta and Diana who were staring aghast at the dog pile of silver armored Valkyries who were pile driving onto the struggling Artemis. Even more amazing and disconcerting was the fact that the one red plumed Artemis was somehow dragging the entire pack of Valkyries ever closer to the stunned pair of Amazons.

As if that wasn't enough, the A.I. of Castle Wulfenbach decided to try and interrupt. "Um, Mein Leader? I've just intercepted a telephone call from the women's bathroom, and we have a problem."

"Not now Von Pinn." Xander stated with a dismissive wave of his hand before focusing on Hippolyta and Diana, "I'm sorry, did you just offer me your daughter Diana in marriage?" Xander asked patiently through the speaker system of his helmet, he was still too stunned to show much excitement in his voice despite the chaos around him.

"I'll Kill Her!" Artemis yelled again, and several other Valkyries added their weight to the dog pile in order to keep their war-leader from attacking the Amazon delegates.

Hippolyta looked from The Leviathan, then back at Artemis who was piled under about eight other silver armored women. By this point Artemis was fighting dirty, attempting to give her own sister Dina a titty-twister while trying to knee another Valkyrie in the crotch.

Hippolyta could only look back at The Leviathan and nod, wide eyed at the unexpected reaction to her peace offering.

'_Don't fire till you see the whites of their eyes! Now Charge Boys! For the Harem!' _The voice of Xander's libido screamed, running across the back of Xander's mind while somehow having changed his American Civil War era cavalry uniform into that of an American Revolutionary War era Minute Man uniform and hoisting a long bayonet capped musket. Libido had also convinced Xander's inner voice of Insanity to join in, only Insanity's uniform was on backwards and baby blue with ruffles, and Insanity carried a giant rubber chicken instead of a musket.

Xander shook his head again and leaned forward in his throne.

"Sir, you really should know about this." Von Pinn tried to interrupt again, however Xander ignored the AI.

Xander rested his elbows on his knees to repeat his question, "I think I'm still hearing you wrong, you're offering Wonder Woman to me to be my wife?" Xander still couldn't get it through his head as he had been totally taken for a loop. The Leviathan looked back and forth between the two Amazons, totally ignoring the rolling catfight that was now traveling from one side of his throne room to the other in a knock down drag out brawl; only made worse by the fact that all of the participants were evenly matched and wearing full powered armor.

'_Damn the torpedoes, full libido ahead!' _Xander's inner libido was now wearing an 1870's bicorn hat and full Admiral's regalia, insanity was dressed as a pirate and stood beside Libido while repeatedly firing off a cannon that shot confetti and live chickens all throughout the conference room in Xander's mind.

"I'll Kill- Urk!" Artemis ranted again, only for a right cross from her sister Dina to knock Artemis's head back and right into the waiting headlock of another Valkyrie.

Hippolyta and Diana cringed at the blow, only to nod their heads to The Leviathan's question as their eyes were firmly glued on the fight as Artemis engaged her flight capabilities and dragged the entire pile of kicking and punching Valkyries up to smash against the ceiling, only for the whole group of them to plummet to the ground with a "THUD" of tangled arms and legs.

A loud _'BONG!'_ sound reverberated inside Xander's mind, as the voice of Reason finally had enough of Libido and decided to take the matter into hand via a frying pan to the back of Libido's head. Libido dropped like a sack of potatoes as Reason's frying pan caved in Libido's bicorn hat and knocked Libido out. With Libido out of action, Insanity lost interest quickly and started trying to catch glow in the dark butterflies while skipping about in a little red riding hood outfit.

Xander shook his head, finally able to think over the sound in his head and the now completed fight in the throne room; the Valkyries were all moaning on the floor in a tangled pile as their nano-clanks healed their injuries.

"Um, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to say No-" The Leviathan started to say to Hippolyta, only for Igor to interrupt loudly.

"Excuse me Sir." Igor stated, stepping forward and cutting The Leviathan off abruptly; something totally out of character for the head minion.

Xander, still out of sorts by the whole situation, turned to his Chief minion while continuing to talk, "I really don't want to have anything to do with an arranged marriage, especially not without love in the picture. What is it Igor?" The Leviathan questioned his minion as Igor actually seemed to be getting agitated by Xander's statement. That is, Igor actually shifted his weight from side to side briefly, all in all a heck of a lot more reaction than Igor usually showed about anything other than bloodshed.

"Well Sir, you may be unaware. However ancient tradition mandates that if you refuse a peace offering of a marriage to a rival royal family, then honor dictates that you have in fact declared war on the offering Country." Igor explained patiently, his face showing no real emotion even though he was discussing the real possibility of war.

Xander looked up at his minion, and frowned, only to turn and glare from behind his helmet down at Hippolyta.

"I'll Kill her!" Sounded from beneath the pile of Valkyries as Artemis's nano-clanks fully healed her and she started to try to escape again, at which time that Valkyries on top of her started the brawl up once again.

Xander looked from Hippolyta, then back to his Valkyries, then back to Hippolyta and Diana, only to yell at the top of his lungs, "QUIET!"

Xander infused his voice with every ounce of his Spark as he shot to his feet angrily.

As one, every single person in the room dropped to their knees as the power of Xander's Major Spark overwhelmed them and immediately caused them to bow to his will.

Hippolyta and Diana dropped to their knees at the overwhelming urge to submit, stunned and scared speechless as they both realized that they had never considered the fact that The Leviathan might say no to their offer.

Behind their silver helmets, the Valkyries eyes went large and they immediately collapsed in a kowtow wherever they were; the dog-pile of Valkyries absolutely fell over themselves to get flat on the ground as waves of power washed over them, triggering an unmitigated fear instinct in them to submit or hide.

It was like a switch had been flipped, and Xander went from stunned to angry in 0.3 seconds flat. Inside Xander's mind the voice of the Primal suggested that Hippolyta was trying to manipulate Xander, trying to control him through her daughter Diana.

The Leviathan paced down the stairs from his throne, growling as he walked forward to tower over Hippolyta and her daughter. "Hippolyta, are you trying to put me in a situation where I marry your daughter… or else?" Xander growled through his helmet, the vibrations of his growl seeming to vibrate the air around him as Igor's statement caused him to see the Amazon's offer as an attempt to manipulate him; after all, Xander didn't trust Hippolyta at all so assumed the worse.

Hippolyta shook her head vigorously, her long black locks of curled hair whipping from side to side as the whites of her wide eyes looked up into the surface of the mirrored pitch black helmet of The Leviathan.

Hippolyta tried to answer, but her lips moved without any sound coming out of them for several seconds before she could get her voice working. "N-no. No Leviathan, we want peace. Please Leviathan, you have to believe me, we only wanted to form a peace accord, and this was the only way, the Gods-" Hippolyta begged in horror, thoughts of having the capabilities of the Grey Knight turned on her people scared Hippolyta like nothing else. The fact that the Grey Knight had been only one man that worked for The Leviathan, and that The Leviathan had an entire army in this dimension could mean the destruction of her entire peoples.

"I don't care about what the Gods want!" The Leviathan thundered, panting heavily behind his helmet, the voices of the Primal and World Domination sounding in the back of Xander's mind, promising power and dominion through war.

"B-Brother, Peace." Cassandra stumbled over her words as she fought through the overwhelming feelings to submit to Xander's anger. However the strength to run away from the only father she had ever known, to throw herself off a building to her death rather than be forced to be an assassin, well this was also the strength enough to stand where others could or would not.

Xander wheeled around to growl at the Crimson Lady, "What?" Xander demanded as his eyes glowed green behind his helmet; the Primal in him bayed for blood and that he needed to put the pup in her place for daring to challenge the Alpha.

Cassandra forced herself to her feet and then glided down the stairs, first slowly until she built up enough momentum to walk normally, "Peace brother, you are scaring your people and your family." Cassandra begged from behind her helmet as she reached out carefully to touch Xander on the shoulder.

Xander flinched back his arm slightly as his primal instincts warred with his beliefs in protecting family. Yet he let Cassandra touch him, and with her touch his anger began to die down.

Xander shook his head and tamped back his emotions. The party, the interactions with the heroes, villains, politicians, the torture of Lex Luthor, and even emotions involved with Selena and Artemis had set the stage for the chaos. Chaos which Hippolyta's offer had triggered and his inner voices' reactions had carried over the edge into near madness.

'_Madness? This is Sparta!'_ Xander's inner voice of Insanity charged through Xander's mind dressed up like the ancient Greek King Leonidas of Sparta including a fake beard and leather armor… only to meet the voice of Reason's frying pan to the face with a '_BONG!' _With that, Insanity was shut up, and Reason turned to threaten both the voice of Megalomania and the Primal with the frying pan, which caused both to shut up as well.

Xander took a big breath and looked around his throne room, realizing that all of his Valkyries were face down on the floor bowing to him, along with the frightened faces of Hippolyta and even Diana looking up at him like some vengeful god.

It was then that he realized he wasn't making a very good impression on Princess Diana, a woman whom he respected even if he didn't fully trust her or her mother.

Xander sighed, and then replied patiently through his helmet's speakers, "Hippolyta, I don't like being put in positions where my choices are accept an offer that is repugnant to me or go to war."

Xander turned his back on Hippolyta and walked back to slump back into his throne.

"I never meant to-" Queen Hippolyta begged as she stood from her knees and moved forward pleadingly.

"Ah!" The Leviathan interrupted her with a sound and a raise of his hand to stall her statements, "I understand now that you only wanted peace." He finished before looking around.

"Marrying me is repugnant?" Diane questioned through clenched teeth as those words angered her.

Xander shook his head and sighed as he looked down from his throne, "No Wonder Woman, marrying a beautiful honorable warrior such as yourself isn't repugnant. However being forced to, or marrying for reasons other than love, is something that I feel is wrong." Xander finished, and he could see that Diana was somewhat mollified by his words.

"Get up everybody." The Leviathan commanded with a big inhale and exhale of air as Xander calmed himself, and immediately everybody hopped to their feet; still a bit frightened but at least functioning again now that the waves of power were not overwhelming them.

Xander then turned to look at Igor who was standing next to Xander's throne, "And I'm assuming that now that the offer has been made, it can't be taken back?" Xander asked sarcastically, expecting his luck to hold true.

"Correct Sir, once the offer is made, to rescind it would be a disgrace to your honor and an act of war." Igor explained patiently without a shred of emotion in the minion's voice.

"Great." The Leviathan stated, throwing up his hands in frustration. "I knew the night was going to well. Thanks Murphy." Xander stated sarcastically from his throne room, flipping a bird with his middle finger towards the ceiling and causing Cassandra to release a giggle while several of the Valkyries smirked behind their helmets at The Leviathan's action.

Hippolyta and Diana were still staring with a hint of fear and distrust at The Leviathan, the mood swings of the Empire's ruler making Diana question her decision and Hippolyta was already scared that her actions may have seen her entering a war she couldn't win. For one thing, the sanity of The Leviathan was in question given the fact that he was currently ranting at someone named "Murphy" while shaking his fist at the ceiling.

Xander stopped shaking his fist at the ceiling and then leaned forward to rest his elbow on his knee, his fist resting under his chin as he thought.

Xander's brain flew through a million different calculations. The power of his genius, of science, of politics, economics and every other calculation zipped through his mind as he thought out how to deal with the cards he had just been handed. Finally with a sigh, Xander sat back in his chair and looked down at the two Amazons.

"Queen Hippolyta, I have changed my mind," The Leviathan began, and he saw some of the worry and concern slide from both Diana and Hippolyta's shoulders as Hippolyta stepped forward and opened her mouth to reply.

"Ah, wait." Xander interrupted, raising his gloved hand to stop the Queen from speaking, "However there is a caveat." He prefaced, and the Queen stepped back, a hint of concern showing on her face again.

The Leviathan continued to speak, "Though I do not want to go to war and slaughter your people, I must first think to the safety of my family and the people in my own Empire, an Empire that first and foremost relies on certain secrets of my identity and our dealings. Therefore, I will accept the offer of marriage to Diana of Themyscira, but only if the two of you swear before all of your Gods and with the Lasso of Truth that you will keep my secrets and never betray me through word, action, or inaction."

"But," Hippolyta tried to interject, only to be cut off again.

"This is non-negotiable." The Leviathan replied with a cutting gesture of his hand. "You created this mess; I was fine with ignoring you and your people even though I wasn't happy with your actions towards me and my newly accepted tribe. No matter how beautiful Diana is nor how much I respect her as a woman and a warrior, no matter how much I don't want to hurt your people, I will choose the safety of MY family and MY people first." Xander finished, stressing the difference between Hippolyta and Diana's people, and Xander's responsibilities to his own.

Hippolyta and Diana were stunned as they looked up at The Leviathan, then they looked towards each other and Diana bit her lip before nodding. The Amazon's had created this situation, and they had to see it through to completion, it was the only way.

Diana reached down to her side, through the slit in her long toga like white dress.

The Valkyries around the room tensed, and Diana noticed this and slowed her motions to show that she was merely retrieving the magical golden Lasso of Truth that had been hooked to her Wonder Woman outfit underneath her white dress.

Unfurling the Lasso, Diana offered half of it to her mother, and both women wound the Lasso around a hand and fist; Hippolyta around her right arm, Diana around her left.

Diana began and Hippolyta echoed, "We swear upon Olympus, and our Gods who live there to keep the secrets of The Leviathan and not to betray him through word, action or inaction." Both finished, and waited in silence as everyone in the throne room waited to hear The Leviathan's response.

Behind his helmet, a smile slowly grew across Xander's face. He couldn't believe that he was actually being forced to marry Wonder Woman… his old buddy Jesse must have been laughing his head off at Xander from up in heaven at the humor of the situation. Back in Sunnydale Xander and Jesse would never have even thought of saying "no" to such an offer as their teenaged comic book geek imaginations pondered the possibilities of hot super heroines. Then again, Xander in Sunnydale had been a much less mature and worldly young teen, let alone the man that now sat on the throne and was responsible for so many lives.

"Then we are agreed, I accept your offer of Diana's hand in marriage and offer my own in return to her in marriage and partnership." The Leviathan stated as he rose up off of his throne and moved forward to take Diana's right hand.

Diana smiled hesitantly at the helmeted figure of The Leviathan who stood taller and broader than she.

Xander could see his new fiancé's hesitancy, so shrugged and triggered his Leviathan armor to recede back into a suit without a helmet. "There, that should help." Xander stated with goofy grin.

Hippolyta gasped.

Diana gaped.

"Alexander!" Both Amazons shouted in surprise at the same time, only for mother and daughter to turn and look at each other and respond, "Wait, you know Alexander?" Both stated the same thing at the same time.

"Jinx!" Xander quipped with a chuckle, causing both Amazons to swing back to look at him.

Diana huffed and dropped Xander's hand, "You, what are you doing here? And how did you lie under the power of the Lasso when I saw you in India?" Diana crossed her arms across her chest and looked at Xander petulantly.

"Ha ha! Good, I was worried that you wouldn't recognize me without a whole lot of white paint." Xander just laughed with a big smile on his face, chuckling at Wonder Woman whose pout made her look like a spoiled Princess who didn't get her way.

"Wait. How do you know the Grey Knight?" Hippolyta questioned Diana, looking back and forth between the two of them before turning to Xander, "And how are you alive? I saw you die!" Hippolyta stated, quickly unwrapping the lasso that was still around her wrist and allowing it to drop so that it only dangled from where it was held in Diana's hand. Hippolyta reached out and touched Xander's shoulder, making sure he was really there an alive.

"I died, but then I got better." Xander quipped with a smirk and crossed his own arms across his chest, not able to help himself given the perfect setup for that joke.

"Wait, you're the Grey Knight?" Diana questioned, her pout dropping off her face and she looked at Xander with amazement, only to look at her mother and see Hippolyta nodding.

Xander's smile only got larger as his he realized that a prank was a whole lot more fun when people realized they had been pranked. However, before he could launch into his full routine of Quip-Fu, Igor interrupted.

"Ahem, excuse me Sir, but should I begin plans for the wedding." Igor interrupted, stepping forward up to Xander's right hand side.

"Now wait a damn minute!" Artemis's voice interrupted and she stomped out of the pack of Valkyries to march up to Xander and planted her fists on her hips as her helmet rescinded into her armor, causing Hippolyta and Diana to gasp as they realized that the leader of the Valkyries was the Shim-Tar Artemis. In hindsight it seemed obvious, but in the heat of the moment neither Diana nor Hippolyta had put two and two together to figure this out.

"On behalf of the Valkyrie tribe, we offer the hand of Artemis in marriage to The Leviathan." Artemis demanded before glaring at Xander, his smirk quickly dropping off of his face, "I might not be able to kill her, but I'll be damned if a Themyscirian Amazon marries you before I do." Artemis finished with a challenging glare at Diana, causing Diana to gulp as the Valkyries around the room cheered their leader on.

'_AWOOOGA, Awoooga! Damage control, we are taking on water and sinking fast! Man the pumps! Man the Pumps and bail! For god's sake man, do something before your crash and burn!'_ Xander's inner voices screamed in fear.

Xander gave a scared looked from the angry Artemis, to Diana, then to Igor who only shrugged at Xander, "Don't look at me Sir, I am a loyal minion willing to die at your command, but my father taught me never to get between a Heterodyne and his women." With that, Igor took a step back, leaving Xander to brave the situation by himself.

"Artemis," Xander started desperately.

"Don't Artemis me, you love me don't you?" Artemis demanded, looking up at the taller Xander.

"Well yeah, I absolutely love you." Xander shrugged as his eyebrows scrunched together, he thought the answer to that question was obvious.

Artemis' softened just a touch at Xander's comment, but she still looked up at him, and then poked him in the chest with her silver armored finger, "Then you're going to marry me also. There is nothing in Amazon law stopping women from sharing a man or marrying other women. So you're going to marry me too, you got that Mister?" Artemis demanded, punctuating her words with pokes of her pointer finger.

Xander just stared down wide eyed at Artemis and her statement, and then looked frantically over at Hippolyta, and then Diana. Diana just shrugged and answered, "There is nothing in the law that says otherwise, and it is only fair and just that I agree given my people's transgressions against the Bana-Mighdall."

Xander blinked, and stared at Diana before looking back at Artemis silently stunned; the blows just kept coming from every direction.

"Sir, this is where you nod or say yes." Igor supplied helpfully with his same emotionless and bland voice.

Xander gulped and then answered, "Yes, I'd love to marry you also Artemis." By the time he had finished, he was smiling. It was either smile or cry at his crazy life, and a small part of him thought that if he cried Artemis might interpret it wrong and then Xander would be in even bigger trouble.

As if Murphy had heard Xander's thoughts, or was still pissed off about Xander flipping Murphy off, a large red portal snapped open next to the throne and Magda and Jenny Kalderash stepped through.

Magda wiped the red fluid, which looked amazingly like real blood, off of her hands on a white towel while speaking aloud with a smirk on her face, "Clan Kalderash offers Jennifer Kalderash, honored daughter of our people, in marriage to Alexander Harris the Leviathan."

Jenny smiled and walked down the steps of the throne towards Xander, who now once again looked like he was a deer caught in the headlights.

"Nod Sir, for Science's sake nod your head." Igor stated out of the corner of his mouth; even the staid and serene chief minion was starting to feel the stress of the situation as he was the only other male in the throne room besides Xander.

Xander nodded, just as another flash of light zapped into existence, and Tara and Dora bounced out wearing very flattering approximations of secretarial garb; though with very short skirts, stockings and high heels.

"Oh goody! The Master finally has found his wives, now we can be the official mistresses. I claim the roll of the Innocent acting mistress." The blonde stated between bubbly giggles as she bounced up and down.

The brunette minion clapped her hands and bounced also, "That means I get to be the Naughty mistress, Oh goody!"

"Nod man, for heaven's sake keep nodding and don't show your fear, they can smell fear." Igor whispered next to Xander as the Chief Minion started to back away slowly.

By now all of the Valkyries in the room had triggered their helmets to disappear, and they were all smiling broadly at Xander.

"Yes, yes fine, I agree. Whatever you want dear, um dears." Xander stated looking around at all the smirking women.

Even Hippolyta and Diana were getting a bit of a kick out of Alexander being cornered like this. It gave Xander a sense of vulnerability, and all women like to be reminded that when they need to they can control their man to a certain extent.

Xander looked around, trying to figure out what to say or do to get the situation. Somehow he needed a distraction or something to get the topic pointed in a different direction.

'_Shit, at least it can't get any more crazy.'_ Xander thought to himself, only to cringe when he realized what he had just allowed himself to think.

'_Smooth move genius.'_ The voice of Reason replied with a face palming slap.

Cue Murphy stage right, roll chaos and start the second act of the show.

"Mein Leviathan," The voice of Castle Wulfenbach's A.I. Von Pinn interrupted, "I hate to interrupt your situation in the throne room, as it is incredibly fun to watch, Heh heh. However Mien Ruler, we have a situation outside the Castle. Selena Kyle and Talia al Ghul have just been kidnapped, though it seems that Talia is in on the kidnapping."

It is at times like this that one can only say one thing:

"Well shit." Xander said and two-handed face palmed himself and then shook his head in frustration with his life.

Then like an epiphany from heaven, a spark of true genius, Xander suddenly looked up as he realized something.

All of the Valkyries looked to Xander for orders, waiting to hear his commands regarding the new situation. Even Wonder Woman looked like she was ready to dart out the door to help in saving the day.

However Xander had a better idea… well better for him that was.

With a smile and a slap to Igor's back, Xander quipped, "Igor, I'm delegating you to arrange the wedding for me with all these ladies, and I'm assigning myself to go save Selena and Talia, have fun here at the castle Igor; every man for himself." Xander said the last part with a whisper and a smirk directed at Igor.

And with that Xander disappeared with a black flash and zap of a portal.

All of the women turned their attention from where Xander had fled, and then to look at Xander's chief minion who would be in charge of arranging the wedding for them.

As one, all of the women took on a predatory look as smiles grew across their faces at the thought of planning an incredibly large wedding; even Diana who wasn't in love with the groom.

"I don't get paid enough for this." Igor groused to himself, right before Xander's original girls snagged Igor, then Diana and Hippolyta, and pulled them into a powwow to immediately start the wedding planning.

* * *

Twenty minutes earlier, right about the time that the Castle first attempted to interrupt Xander's meeting with the Amazons, the beautiful Talia al Ghul finished her ride down in the elevators and out of Castle Wulfenbach.

Talia exited the elevator lounge that rested at the bottom of the lifts that led to and from Castle Wulfenbach and walked down the red carpet to the many flashes of cameras as the news stations and press took pictures of those coming and going from the Gala. No way no how had the security at the Castle allowed the journalists and paparazzi to get close to the entrance of the elevator lobby, but still the entertainment vultures and news reporters lined the edges of the street and the red carpet that led to the drop off and pickup area for the guests' vehicles.

Talia smiled, for waiting as planned was Ms. Selena Kyle who seemed to be frustrated that her limousine had still failed to arrive to pick her up. Selena wouldn't know it, but that particular limo driver had been indisposed to pick Selena Kyle up; or more specifically, Ra's al Ghul's assassins had disposed of the driver.

"Your ride not picked you up yet?" Talia questioned with a friendly smile as she waltzed up next to Selena.

Selena frowned at being addressed, but Selena tempered her scowl to be somewhat friendly when she saw who it was that addressed her.

"My limousine should have been here by now, and I've called the driver's company but all they can tell me is that the limo should have been here by now and that they don't have any more that they can send until they hear back from my original driver." Selena answered with a bit of a huff, well manicured red nails waving in a dismissive backhand that denoted her frustration.

A long black stretch limousine pulled forward and stopped at the end of red carpet, only for the large driver with a shaved head to step out of the driver's seat and move to open the door for Talia.

"Well I'm sorry." Talia said apologetically with a shrug before moving towards her vehicle before pausing at the door that was held open for her. "This is my personal limousine. Perhaps I could offer you a ride home?" Talia questioned, as if it was an afterthought.

Selena startled at the offer from the practical stranger, and some instinct in the back of her head cautioned a warning, but when Selena briefly looked around she noted that none of the black or silver clad soldiers of The Leviathan looked alarmed or on guard about the offer or people issuing said offer.

Selena smiled a red lipped smile that made her eyes sparkle, "Sure, thank you, if it's not too much of an imposition?" Selena questioned and paused.

"Ha, no problem at all." Talia stated with a throaty chuckle before sliding into the limousine and patting the seat next to her for Selena to join her.

"Very well then." Selena replied with a smile as she entered the limo with a nod to the driver who stared back at her blank faced as he closed the door after her.

Talia smiled at Selena and then looked towards the front of the limousine where the driver had just entered and closed the door; the window between the driver section and the back was open.

"Ubu, we will be taking Ms. Kyle home first." Talia stated before looking at Selena, "Were do you live Selena?"

"Thirteen twenty one Powell Street, right on the central park with a great view of the Wayne towers. Perhaps you would like to come up to my penthouse and we can share stories about Xander?" Selena offered, after all it was only proper of Selena to ask since Talia was so nice to offer her a ride home.

"No thank you, but it is kind of you to offer." Talia said with a smile as she sat back in her seat as the limo pulled away from the curb and quickly entered traffic.

"So how do you know Bruce Wayne?" Talia questioned after several seconds of silence.

"Bruce? Whatever do you mean?" Selena asked in return, an eyebrow rose due to confusion on the question.

"Well he was my date tonight, and he couldn't keep from frowning when you were dancing with Alexander." Talia responded with a smirk, a playful look in her eyes.

Selena smirked right back at Talia, "Well Bruce and I have been on a few dates, you could say that we flirt a bit, but a difference in our professions made it so that we couldn't see eye to eye."

Talia laughed at Selena's catty answer before questioning further. "What do you do for a living?"

"Well I…" Selena started to respond, only to glance out the window and notice that they were driving in the wrong direction if they were to be going to her penthouse. "Hey, I think we are going the wrong direction." Selena started, only to turn back from looking out the window and see the driver of the car aim and fire an electric Tazer right into Selena's stomach.

There was nowhere to flee to, and Selena's mind seized up as suddenly thousands of volts of electricity flooded her body and overwhelmed her nervous system.

Selena passed out cold, and Talia leaned over to check Selena's pulse before sitting back again with a smile.

"Excellent work Ubu, as usual." Talia stated, to which her father's servant only nodded as he again concentrated on driving.

The limo drove for another two minutes before pulling over to the side of the road before a man with grey streaks on the sides of his otherwise dark hair; a man wearing a long green cloak with a tall collar who entered the limousine.

Talia bowed from her seat, "Greetings Father." Talia greeted Ra's al Ghul as the man entered the car only to close the door behind himself and smirk down at the unconscious Selena Kyle.

"Greetings daughter, and good job." Ra's stated before leaning over to the comatose Selena and using his hand to move her face from side to side as he got a good look at Selena. "So this is the woman that has attracted the attention of both Bruce Wayne and Alexander Harris. What do you know about her? She doesn't look like anything special other than her base beauty."

"A witty if somewhat droll Gotham Socialite. She is but another of the playthings that attract the handsome and powerful men of the city." Talia stated, a bit heatedly as her jealousy reared its head and she showed her true feelings for what she felt about Selena's dancing with Alexander and Bruce's jealous scowl.

"Now now daughter, such cattiness is beneath us." Ra's rebuked his daughter lightly while he examined Selena Kyle's figure. The woman was long and lanky, and her form suggested muscle under her feminine curves. Still though, Ra's released Selena's head as he felt she was of no bother.

"Yes father." Talia replied meekly to her father's rebuke.

Ra's smiled at his daughter, his daughter's interest in both Alexander and Bruce suited his purposes well. "Don't worry daughter, you will be happy with either Alexander or Bruce as your beloved, and I am sure that in time you can prove the better match than this young lady."

"It will be as you say father." Talia said with a smile and a bit of a blush at her father's words.

"Ubu, contact the parking garage and have them make the call. It's time we test Alexander's detective skills and see whether he or Mr. Wayne is the smarter of the two possible heirs to my legacy." Ra's al Ghul stated with a smirk upon his face as he looked down at the unconscious Selena Kyle collapsed in the seat next to his daughter Talia.

"Yes, this test will be just what I need." Ra's said to himself as they drove off into the city on a windy route towards their target.

* * *

Bruce Wayne exited the elevator lounge after misplacing his date Talia al Ghul, only to see her enter a limousine chauffeured by Ra's al Ghul's bodyguard Ubu and with Selena Kyle in the back. Bruce didn't think that Selena had a clue about what trouble she was getting herself into, but then again, if Catwoman did know to whom she was dealing… well either way it spelled trouble for Bruce Wayne and his role as Batman.

Bruce frowned as he marched quickly down the red carpet while pressing a hidden button on his belt buckle that signaled Alfred to pull the car around.

The long black chauffeured Rolls Royce pulled up five minutes later, and Bruce didn't wait for Alfred to open the door for him. Rather Bruce jumped in the back seat and immediately closed the door behind him; the flashing cameras of the paparazzi reflecting off the black tinted windows of the Rolls.

"Drive Alfred, I need to get to the Batcave as quickly as possible." Bruce stated while quickly loosening his tie and tugging off his coat and dress shirt while pressing several buttons in the car that caused a loading tray to open in the seat next to him. The passenger seat next to Bruce seemed to suck back into the trunk of the car as a shiny metal tray like contraption slid back out towards Bruce, only to open with a pneumatic hiss and reveal a black and grey Batsuit and utility belt.

"What seems to be the problem, Sir?" Alfred questioned while looking in his rearview mirror, all the while quickly steering through Gotham's night time traffic. In his mirror Alfred could see Bruce rapidly dressing in the armored outfit of Batman.

"I'm not sure, but Talia disappeared on me up in the castle, and then I saw Selena Kyle getting into a limousine with Talia that was being driven by Ubu." Bruce exclaimed, finishing pulling on his costume's pants before tugging on the tight grey bat insignia top. Bruce pulled both arms up through the shirt before shimmying his shoulders until the suit was exactly in place; patented Wayne military technology causing the armor to shift and form directly to his body for maximum protection and flexibility.

"Well that cannot be good sir." Alfred stated plainly, the troubling words not matching the stoic look on Alfred's face.

"No, it isn't." Bruce answered as he leaned forward in his seat to clip on his utility belt before attaching his cape and pulling on the cowl. "Whether Catwoman is working with Ra's or is a victim of that megalomaniac waits to be seen." Bruce growled.

"Beep! Beep! Beep!" Sounded from a front dash on Alfred's panel in the front of the Rolls Royce. The beeping sound was quickly followed by the ornate wooden interior flipping over to disclose a state of the art computer.

"Emergency message from the Batcomputer Master Wayne." Alfred stated serenely as he looked down at what the computer was saying.

"Patch it through to audio report." Bruce ordered as he pulled on his boots and then his gloves.

"Priority report from Batcomputer, word match off of Gotham City Radio." The computer stated in a feminine voice. "Statement regarding threat towards Batman recorded." The computer reported.

Batman, now fully dressed in his outfit growled, "Play recording." He ordered.

"Impotency and you! Well thanks for calling Kyle, and I suggest trying the little blue pill, Next Caller, you're live on the air with DJ Danny and Sex Talk Time!" The DJ on the recorded radio message stated.

The computer continued playing the radio broadcast and the next caller's statement, "Yes, I'd like you to broadcast to Alexander Harris and Batman that I've kidnapped Selena and Talia and if Alexander or Batman want to see their girls back in one piece then they have one hour to find them." The computer finished the recording before announcing patiently in a feminine voice, "The radio threat is repeated, but no further information is given."

Bruce frowned at the message and thought quickly. "Computer, analyze background sounds on the call for possible location match of that phone call." Batman ordered.

"Analyzing." The computer responded, and then was silent for approximately two minutes of intolerable silence before finally continuing, "Sound recognition suggests that the call was made from somewhere near Gotham International Airport, more particularly the commercial and long term parking areas, based on match of bus and truck transit classifications."

"Sir, if that is true, then we are going the wrong way. The Airport is on the other side of the city from Wayne Manor." Alfred added just as they pulled out of the city limits.

"I know that Alfred. Time is of the essence…I'll take the bike." Bruce stated before pressing several buttons on his side dash as his seat collapsed back into itself with Batman seeming to be sucked into the back trunk of the large luxury limousine.

"BANG!" The limousine jolted as the trunk of the limo split in half on hidden hinges and launched a sleek low-gliding black military looking motorcycle backwards down the road where it spun a cookie and revved its engines before disappearing back towards Gotham.

"He ruins more cars that way." Alfred stated blandly with a shake of his head as he continued to drive towards Wayne Manor. The ultra rich were always so hard on their toys.

* * *

Meanwhile, Gotham city was a busy place, especially at night. However when you add the Leviathan's party to the kidnapping of Selena and Talia, then throw in The Joker escaping from jail and robbing a bank, well it was enough to make the city feel like a madhouse. However when looking at the types of things Batman and Gotham City had to deal with on a regular basis, well then in some ways it was just another wild and wholly time in the highest crime zone in America. One thing did stand out as different than the norm, and that difference was the activity off of Gotham's shore and a mile away from the Gotham City dock yards.

"Wait, you want me to crash the ship into the dock?" The Captain of the ship questioned, sweat beading on his forehead and trickling down into his eyes as he tried to blink and focus on steering the large cargo ship into the Gotham City harbor.

"Squeeek!"

"AH! Stop biting me! Stop biting me! I'll do it! I'll do it!" The man begged, turning the wheel of the large cargo container ship towards Gotham's docs.

"Squeeken rrrrr Squeek squeek! Squeeken rrrrr Squeek Squeek!..." Came myriad tiny replies, chanting/squeeking the name of their Chaos Nut God who had led their crusade to the new land.

The hijacked captain of the vessel looked around frantically as thousands of crazed rodents stared at him from the shadows of the vessel's bridge.

The large ship was completely dark as it slowly swung its bulk for a collision course with a section of the old wooden piers, all lights extinguished except for the glow from the bridge's gauges.

The captain took one hand off the wheel and wiped his forehead.

"Squeee!"

"Ow! Ow! I'm still steering, let me wipe the sweat from my eyes so I can see." The man begged as he made the last corrections and bit his lip, his eyes frantically looking about as the ship bore down on the dock without any sigh of stopping.

Two hundred yards out, a quiet squeek started chanting.

"Squeaken… Squeaken…Squeaken," The tiny voice chanted, and as if leading a sermon, the masses on the ship took up the call to their God.

"SQUEAKEN! SQUEAKEN! SQUEAKEN!..." Hundreds of thousands, and then millions of tiny voices started chanting as the ship bore down closer and closer towards the dock.

Twenty yards from the pier, the captain let go of the wheel and ducked and covered while yelling, "This is going to hurt!"

Then with a tremendous "CRASH" and the sound of tumbling metal containers and crunching timbers the large container ship smashed through the pier and continued to push into the shallows as the engines churned and drove the ship up onto the rocky garbage covered beach and then up over the seawall to crash the front of the ship into a warehouse.

Thousands of little bodies flew helter-skelter through the confines of the ship's bridge and the captain was pelted by their little bodies, some of the rodents being crushed by the collision as they gave up their lives willingly in service to their Nut God.

On the shore, about fifteen young men stumbled out of the crushed warehouse with clubs, baseball bats chains and half empty bottles of alcohol, all of them with their faces painted white and wearing weird approximations of clown outfits.

"What the hell?" One of the Joker gang members cursed as he looked from their crushed hideout to the large shipping containers that had tumbled off of the ship and were lying all around the grounded ship.

Then with a smile, the apparent leader turned to look at the other guys in his gang; his purple painted lips and blue spray painted hair making him look like some demented clown.

"Well guys, it looks like the loot came to us tonight." He said as he swaggered over to a shipping container and used the crowbar he was carrying to pop open the lock and open the door.

The leader looked into the darkness of the container, and couldn't see anything.

"Hey Fred, here you go boss." A fat clown-faced thug in big floppy shoes and a leather jacket walked forward and pulled out a lighter and then flicked it so that they could see by its light.

Thousands upon thousands of little red eyes gleamed back at them in the reflected glow from the lighter's flame.

"SQUEEEEEEEEE!" The Rats screamed in rage as they charged out of the shipping crates, millions more joining them from the other crates as they crashed over the side of the ship and overwhelmed the gang of Joker wannabes in a sea of little teeth and claws.

The Thugs screamed, only for the screams to turn into bloody gurgles as they were overrun by millions of rodents.

Two squirrels scampered to the peak of the roof of the crushed warehouse and chattered to each other.

"Chitter chitter chat squeak." The first one stated; which translates to, "It is our Chaotic God's will that the Clowns must die!"

"Squeaken Chitter Chat Squeak." The second squirrel replied; a fanatic light in its little squirrel eyes as it looked down on the rats devouring the former joker gang members. It's chattering translated to, "The Nut God Hates Clowns, and all will bow to the will of the Nut God."

Both squirrels bobbed their heads, and then took off into the night. Behind them, squads of squirrels unlocked themselves from their shipping containers and spread out through the city to evangelize and spread the word of their Chaos God. Below them the squirrels left the wave upon wave of rats to clean out the warehouses for their new base and beachhead, while the rabbits with their shifty eyes and evil twitchy noses began creating the supply base and burrows that would house the Rodent Army Of The Nut God, or R.A.O.T.N.G., an abbreviation that doesn't mean anything.

The crusade had come to Gotham and the new world, and it would bow to the will of Xander or be devoured by his hordes of mind controlled chaos rodents.

* * *

"Jarvis, upload the data that we have thus far." Xander commanded as he appeared standing on top of Castle Wulfenbach, a faint breeze blowing in from the sea as he looked out over the city with the hope to find Selena as quickly as possible.

Xander closed his eyes, and began to commune with the computer AI housed in his nano-clank clothing; information passing back and forth at the speed of light.

'_Sir, the data starts with a phone call from Talia al Ghul to her father Ra's in the women's restroom, where she states she has the perfect target selected, namely Ms. Kyle. I expect it to be a trap for you Sir.' _Jarvis counseled, uploading the information directly into Xander's mind via his nano-clanks, and thus speeding up the transfer of information with Xander.

'_Sounds like it.'_ Xander added in return, biting his lip in thought while he waited for further information; His hair blew in the breeze coming off the ocean as his suit started to bubble and form into his all black armor.

'_Approximately three minutes after Talia's call to her father, our surveillance systems captured Talia offering Ms. Kyle a ride home, to which Ms. Kyle agreed, the chauffeur has been positively identified as Ubu, the al Ghul servant and bodyguard.'_ Jarvis continued relaying to Xander, causing Xander to scowl darkly.

'_Anything else, or should I just assume that Ra's al Ghul is going the right way for a lesson in applied Newtonian physics?'_ Xander mentally growled.

'_Yes sir. Approximately four minutes after Ms. Kyle left with Talia in the limousine, a call was placed by Ubu to a phone located near the international airport, followed by a call coming from that location to a radio station. Patching through the recording now.'_ Jarvis relayed, only to play the radio call in Xander's mind. _'Yes, I'd like you to broadcast to Alexander Harris and Batman that I've kidnapped Selena and Talia and if Alexander or Batman want to see their girls back in one piece then they have one hour to find them.'_

"Damn it!" Xander cursed, and strategic plans started flowing through his mind as his helmet coved his face and a guidance interface was projected on the inside of the helmet. "Please tell me you were able to track the limousine." Xander questioned as he floated up into the air above the top of his floating Castle.

"I'm sorry Sir, but orbital clanks lost track of the limousine as it entered the tunnels for lower Gotham. However, satellite recon from the space based little clanks does show that the radio station call originated just outside a parking garage near the airport. Heat imaging places a large group of individuals spread all over the outside of the building, as if waiting for something." Jarvis related patiently in its programmed proper British voice.

"Damn, then the girls aren't there yet and if we spring the trap too early then we might never find them." Xander cursed, but immediately flew out in a zigzag through the skies over Gotham as he weaved through buildings on his way towards the airport.

"My calculations agree sir within a 98.43% accuracy rate. Shall I have some of our undercover forces distributed within the building?" The A.I. queried.

Xander's smile turned positively evil and his eyes began to glow a bit green at the thought of setting his own trap.

"Good idea Jarvis, make it so." Xander said as he growled, "Until then, see if you can't get a satellite read on the limousine they left the party in during the mean time."

"Yes sir, calculating." Jarvis stated before pausing for a moment, "I'm sorry sir, but there are approximately fifty three limousines matching the same parameters and driving around the city. Sensors show that out of the fifty three, thirty seven of the limousines have at least two passengers in the rear, and that is of course assuming that the girls are still located in the same vehicle in which they left the party."

"Shit, well at least it got me out of the situation with all the girls." Xander groused, and his armor glittered briefly as its chameleon system came online causing Xander to disappear.

"Yes sir, but do remember that the women will be waiting for you when you return." Jarvis added, unhelpfully.

Xander groaned before shifting the groan into a growl, perhaps some bloodshed would make him feel better?

* * *

The Limousine carrying Ra's, Talia and Selena slowed as it turned into the parking garage situated within a mile of Gotham's International Airport.

A man dressed in a guard's uniform stopped the limo at the gate. If one were to see the dead body hidden in the guard shack, then they could have quickly put two and two together to realize that the situation just wasn't right. This was proven all the more true when the 'Guard' quickly saluted as the passenger window of the limousine rolled down to show Ra's al Ghul.

"Is everything prepared?" Ra's questioned his assassin.

"Yes Sir." The disguised assassin answered reverently with a bowed head, fist clenched against his chest in salute to the Demon Head.

"Excellent. As planned, allow the visitors access to the garage and then seal off the exits." Ra's commanded before the window rolled up.

"Your will be done." The Guard replied simply and the limousine moved forward into the large concrete multileveled parking garage before going down, down, down into the sub-basement. There was only one way in and out of the building, and any attacker would have to approach from the down ramp.

Finally after driving for several minutes, the limousine pulled up against the dead end at the bottom of the subbasement level three, and parked. Parked cars, vans and trucks lined the stalls throughout the garage, even down in its lowest levels, though there were a few stalls open here and there.

"Sir, the watch has just spotted a shimmering movement landing on the roof." Ubu reported while Ra's bodyguard held a hand to his ear; a radio bud sending him the message.

Ra's smiled, and looked to his loyal servant, only to hear Selena Kyle groan as she started to awaken.

"Perfect timing my dear, it appears that young Alexander is the first to figure out the puzzle." Ra's stated with a sneer to the groggy Selena, only to turn and address his servant Ubu, "Bring the girl." Ra's commanded, and then opened the limo door and exited along with his silently obedient daughter Talia.

Ubu left the driver's seat and moved around to the back before reaching in and bodily dragging the groggy Selena out of the car.

Selena's world seemed to spin as she didn't know where she was. However old habits die hard, so upon feeling herself drug from the car by large meaty hands, she immediately stabbed the tall stiletto heel of her shoe into the man's calf muscle and then stomped on his foot, earning a grunt of pain for her effort.

"Huh." Ubu grunted, only to back hand Selena and send the world spinning once again for Catwoman. Ubu wrapped his big meaty hand around Selena's neck while pulling a large curved saber from out of the car and resting the blade against her throat as he pulled her tightly to his chest so she couldn't get away; this caused Selena to gasp and clench her jaw tight as she was forced up onto her tiptoes.

"Easy Ubu, we don't want to spoil the bait." Ra's cautioned with a malicious gleam in his eye.

A blurring shimmer shown on the end of the ramp up in front of Ra's, only to flash and reveal Xander as he prowled down the ramp like a hunting predator.

"Ra's, you made a big mistake threatening one of my girls." Xander's voice growled through his helmet.

"Stop right there Mr. Harris, or you will not like the outcome, and don't even think of using a portal like you did outside the Penguin's club." Ra's stated, just as Ubu released his hand hold on the back of Selena's neck and reached around her to clip the handle of a grenade into the plunging neckline of Selena's dress and right between her breasts. Ubu rested his hand on the grenade, the only thing keeping the handle from deploying and triggering the grenade

This stopped Xander in his tracks, a good fifty yards up the slope from his prey.

Selena tried to say something, but was cut off by the sharp blade against her throat, which made Xander frown darkly.

'_Sir, I urge caution.'_ Jarvis broadcast to Xander's mind via his nano-clanks, _'The pin on that type M67 grenade has been pulled, and if we attempt to swipe her via portal then either Ubu will come along for the ride and probably kill her, or we will release the grenade if we attempt to just take Selena and Ubu's arms.'_

Xander growled, his eyes taking in the full situation. Numerous shadows hid the sides of the ramp, and the lighting in the subbasement of the parking garage was spotty at best. Xander noticed movement in the shadows and his helmet sensors briefly flipped to infrared to show that Xander was definitely not alone. Furthermore, the distance of fifty yards was a lot to take in given that Ubu's blade was already causing a small slice into Selena's neck. It seemed he was a momentary impasse.

As if to make the situation more difficult, Xander's voice of Reason decided to chime in, _'I hate to counsel it, but due to Ms. Kyle's reaction to your slaying of the Penguin and his gang, might I suggest not slaughtering Ra's at this time?'_

Xander growled in his mind, and the Primal spirit mirrored the action in Xander's mind.

'_Xander, do you really want to slay Ra's in front of his own daughter?'_ Reason questioned in Xander's thoughts, _'That would probably create an enemy you don't need.' _Reason finished logically.

'_Kill them both; you don't need any more girls in the harem.'_ The Primal growled, and Megalomania nodded in agreement.

'_BLASPHEMY!' _Xander's inner libido shrieked while looking aghast at Xander's other voices. _'There is no such thing as too many girls in a harem.'_ Libido ranted, shaking his fist at the other voices.

"Please remove your helmet so that we can see eye to eye, its rude to not face a person when they are talking to you." Ra's al Ghul said with a smile, interrupting Xander's inner thoughts.

Xander growled, but disengaged his helmet so that Ra's could see Xander glaring back at him.

Ra's smiled at seeing Xander face to face for the first time, "I've had my eye on you for a while now Alexander. Congratulations on being the first to successfully pass the first part of my test, you see Alexander…"

"Yeah yeah, Ra's, I frankly don't care about what you have to say. Now give me back Selena and I'll let you leave here in one piece, this time." Xander interrupted Ra's al Ghul with a casual dismissive shrug; an action which caused Ra's to glare briefly at Xander.

"Nobody insults the Demon Head. You would be wise to respect Ra's Al Ghul." Ubu growled and pulled the blade into Selena's neck, causing her to gasp.

Xander frowned, but fell back on skills learned all the way back in Sunnydale. When in doubt, piss off the big bad.

"Yeah yeah, blah blah, monologue monologue, you bad guys are all the same. Now give me the girl safely or I tear you apart." Xander finished the last part with a flash of his eyes, the green shine briefly illuminating Xander's face in the shadows of the parking garage.

Ra's smiled evilly, "If you want her, then fine, all you have to do is reach her and she will be yours." Ra's snapped his fingers and ninjas drop out of the shadows and pop up from behind cars to the front, sides and even behind Xander.

'_Sir, we are surrounded.'_ Jarvis communicated helpfully.

'_No worries Jarvis, this just means they are exactly where I want them.'_ Xander quipped back mentally.

Xander put his hands on his hip and shook his head, "So that's how it's going to be Ra's, now a test of my combat skills? Are you still set on trying to figure out who should be the heir of your organization?"

Ra's smiled and made a mock little bow of his head, "Of course, that is if you want to rescue the girl that is. Surely fighting my assassins shouldn't be so difficult for somebody who is so confident that they believe they can offer to let me go in one piece? You get to me, and you can take the girl and leave on your merry way with us parting amicably."

Xander continued to frown, but slowly his frown slid up his face to a grin.

Xander's shoulders shook briefly with humor and he shook his head while looking down at the ground before finally replying as if responding to a petulant child, "Ra's Ra's Ra's, when are you going to learn that you absolutely don't know anything about me. But tell you what, since this is the first time we have met in person, I'll tell you two things about myself: One, never threaten my girls, it makes me angry." He growled the first part, his eyes flashing green as he prowled forward.

The assassins around Xander, garbed in black ninjitsu armor, moved forward to block Xander in as they pulled out every manner of blade and bludgeoning weapon known in the eastern martial arts.

Xander in turn smirked as me moved forward, only to stop some twenty feet in front of the largest bulk of assassins who blocked his path to Ra's and Selena. Around fifty ninjas stood in Xander's way, and it looked as if Ra's was taking Xander seriously, though the smirk on the Ra's face could have been interpreted to mean otherwise.

Xander paused as he just glared darkly at Ra's over the heads of the assassins in front of Xander, as if waiting for a queue.

Xander was silent for almost a minute, not making any further move or statement, just waiting.

Finally Ra's lifted an eyebrow, no longer patient to wait for Xander to finish his thought."And the second thing I don't know about you?"

Xander's glare slowly slipped upwards until it became a dark evil smirk, "Simple, I cheat… Transformers Go!"

All around the parking garage the cars, trucks and vans seem to leap out of their stalls while simultaneously changing shape from their original vehicular form to that of fifteen to twenty foot robots with big fucking guns.

The element of surprise was Xander's, and as he crossed his arms and smiled evilly, the robots absolutely annihilated the ninjas.

A little voice in the back of Xander's head said in a sing song voice, _'Somebody should have told the ninjas not to bring their swords to a robot fight.'_

Like Gulliver smashing through the Lilliputians, or Gargamel in the village of the Smurfs, the human sized ninjas didn't have a chance against the larger transformer death machines. In short order there was lots of stomping followed by a whole lot of smashing or squishing, and more than a little energy blasts that immolated the remaining ninjas. Then in the end, the assassin's died like ninja. That's not to say that their deaths were honorable, only that when they were killed they were dressed like ninjas, so it would have been weird if they died like pirates or something else.

The last ninja fell swiftly, and Xander walked patiently forward with his hands clasped behind his back, as if he was some old English officer strolling the line of troops; only in this case Xander was just watching his feet so that he wouldn't step in any of the puddles of goo that had once been Ra's Al Ghul's assassins.

Xander stopped five feet in front of the now stunned Ra's and slightly green Talia, and Xander smiled a bright big ear to ear smile as he quipped, "Ok, so that test was easy, can I please have my girl now?" And then as if a switch was thrown, Xander's smile dropped off his face and he glared menacingly right into Ra's Al Ghul's eyes, "Or do I have to pry her from your cold dead fingers?"

Ra's paled at the rapid switch, and gulped subconsciously before stilling his conscious. Slowly, a smile started to creep across Ra's Al Ghul's face, and he gave a sincere half bow to Alexander. "Ha, very good Alexander, very good indeed." Ra's said, as if he hadn't just seen his loyal assassins ground into a concoction the consistency to humus; and in about ten seconds flat.

Ra's smiled and waved his hand towards his servant who was still holding Selena, "Ubu, release the girl to Mr. Harris."

"As you command." Ubu stated before removing the blade from Selena's throat, unclipping the grenade and pushing her towards Alexander. Selena stumbled forward into Xander's arms, where he caught her, and then she turned to glare back at Ubu.

"You surprised me Mr. Harris… I like that in a potential successor." Ra's stated with a gleaming eyed smile.

Xander moved Selena slightly behind him so that he could protect her a bit better as Ra's continued to talk.

"Yes, you have truly bested the Detective and shown that you know when it is appropriate to kill to achieve your goals, a lesson that the Detective was never able to learn and to which I do not believe he ever will." Ra's finished with a negligent wave of his hand and a smirk on his face before turning and walking back towards the limo waiting behind him as if he didn't have incredibly large robots all pointing guns at him.

Xander glared, but he kept his word to Ra's to let the terrorist go if he handed over Selena, just as Ra's had kept his own in giving back Selena if Xander got past the assassins.

"Come Talia; say goodbye to your new Beloved and then we will return home." Ra's said commandingly as Ubu opened the door to the limousine and Ra's stepped in.

"Goodbye Beloved, it was good to see you again Alexander and I look forward to spending time with you again soon." Talia said with a slight bow of her head and a bit of blush to her cheeks.

Selena hissed like a cat at Talia, and Xander had to hold Selena back from going after Talia.

Talia looked from Xander to Selena, and decided that it might not be the best idea to move close enough to give Alexander a kiss goodbye. So with a subtle bow of the head to her father's appointed new suitor, Talia turned and entered the limousine where Ubu closed the door behind her.

Selena growled as she and Xander stood there, surrounded by Xander's robots as they watched Ra's al Ghul's limousine, back up, and then turn around before pull away up the ramp out of the garage; the limousine's tires making squelching sounds in the blood and pulped flesh of the former ninja's.

Still ticked off, Selena rounded on Xander, "You, Mister, have some explaining to do." She punctuated her statement with a nailed finger poking Xander's sternum, ignoring the bloodshed around her for the moment as she didn't want to puke.

Xander smiled at Selena, and then pulled her into a hug which she returned.

Pushing her back out to arms length, Xander smiled down at Selena. "Yes, I probably do." Xander said, and with a wave of his hand a black portal opened up in the air next to Xander.

Selena looked a bit untrusting at the black portal, but Xander just smiled and held his hand out to her for her to take.

Unlike the last time Xander had offered her his hand, Selena didn't hesitate to take it this time, and a tentative smile spread across her face only making Xander's smirk grow larger.

With that, Xander pulled Selena to him and the black portal swept over them to disappear.

Then with a similar sounding "ZAP" red and blue portals popped up all around the garage, into which and the large robotic transformers stepped through to disappear from the garage, leaving the concrete structure to suddenly fall into silence.

A minute passed, and then two, then three, until five minutes later the silence of the parking garage was interrupted by the sound of squealing tires and the roar of a rocket engine.

Sliding around the corner and then to a stop came the Batcycle which skidded to a halt a few feet in front of the piles of goo that were the remains of Ra's al Ghul's assassins.

The sleek protective air-shield cover of the motorcycle slid upwards and then back and Batman stepped off the bike with a frown on his face.

"Is everything alright sir?" The voice of Alfred questioned over Batman's radio system.

Batman glared and stooped down to examine one of the squashed carcasses, noting the twisted swords and weapons along with the tatters of dark clothing; easily recognizing the regalia of assassins of the League of Shadows.

"No." Batman growled into his radio, "Ra's was here, but now he is gone." Batman noted the red tire prints that tracked through the red mash of pulped corpses and then up the garage ramp where they eventually disappeared.

"Well then sir, you should rest easy that Talia is safe then." Alfred's voice consoled him over the communicator.

"Yes," Batman stated before pausing in thought, "But what happened to Selena, and who killed Ra's assassins?" Batman questioned to himself.

Batman took another moment to look around, and noted the death and destruction around him. It was a literal blood bath as the pulped bodies of the former ninja's trickled down the parking garage ramp where they could be heard drizzling down a drain at the bottom of the slope.

"Sir, I'm getting a signal that Gotham's First Bank has just had its burglar alarms go off. Our security bypass into their camera system show The Joker is just leaving the vault." Alfred's voice interrupted Batman's dark thoughts.

With one last glance, Batman turned with a swish of his cape, and he jumped back onto his Batcycle; in the choice between chasing after The Joker and trying to track down Catwoman, going after The Joker won.

"I'm on my way. Oh, and Alfred. Make an anonymous tip to the police about the bodies." Bruce said, right before the lid of his motorcycle closed him in, the engines on his Batcycle revved, and he spun a 180 degree turn back up the parking garage and into Gotham's night.

* * *

Five minutes earlier at Gotham's First Bank, a pair of large men's wing tipped shoes attached to long legs dressed in bright green pants stepped over the threshold of the blasted vault doors, only to be followed by the rest of the criminal madman; The Joker. Some late night talk radio program about sexual dysfunctions was playing from a small radio setup on the security guard's booth near the broken front doors, and it was clear that business was not as usual for the bank that night.

"Ah yes, shopping in Gotham, how I love you so." The Joker stated with a large smirk spread across his pale white face with the garish green lips, insanity sparkling in his eyes as he took in a big breath of air and slung a large bag of cash over his shoulder. "SNIFFFFFF! Ah." The Joker released a sigh and then turned towards Harley Quinn, his sidekick, who was spray painting the bank's walls in bright green letters.

"Do you smell that Harley?" The Joker asked.

Harley Quinn, dressed from head to toe in a black and red form fitting harlequin outfit, stopped and sniffed around, sniffed at one armpit, and then the other, only to turn and glare at the two pet hyena's that had come along for the heist, "Did you boys pee on the money again?" She questioned, and both hyenas just sat down and smiled back up at her, tongues panting out of their mouths.

The Joker face palmed himself and shook his head before replying sarcastically, "No Harley, I was talking about the smells of the city. The dank, the mold, the blood, the smells of crime and success… isn't it just lovely? Ahhhhh." The Joker sighed melodramatically, which caused Harley Quinn to smile with love in her eyes towards her Mr. J.

"Oh well, back to work." The Joker stated, spinning around with his bag of cash swinging behind him in a circle that left stray twenty dollar bills spiraling through the air as they slipped out of several holes in The Joker's bag.

Then with a big smirk on his face he tromped over to the figure sitting at the guard booth and reached down and gave the figure's swivel chair a spin.

"What a wonderful welcome back to Gotham, and we couldn't have done it without you!" The Joker said endearingly as the chair spun in circles until it finally slowed so that the figure in the chair was facing the Joker.

The bank's security guard's face was pale white with a smile stretched permanently from ear to ear, and large open unseeing eyes showed that he had died, and died a bit too happy.

"Ah, service with a smile. How nice! WA HA HA HA HA HA," He joked condescendingly before breaking out into insane cackles.

"Come on Harley, we're done here." The Joker stated and Harley finished spray painting a large green smiley face and a "The Joker was here" on the wall with a big heart surrounding the word "Joker".

The Joker took one step forward only to stop as something on the radio caught his attention.

"Impotency and you! Well thanks for calling Kyle, and I suggest trying the little blue pill. Next Caller, you're live on the air with DJ Danny and Sex Talk Time!" The DJ on the radio stated.

However it was the caller's comment that caught The Joker's attention, "Yes, I'd like you to broadcast to Alexander Harris and Batman that I've kidnapped Selena and Talia and if Alexander or Batman want to see their girls back in one piece then they have one hour to find them." The caller responded, only for the DJ to pause as the radio went quiet for a moment.

"Hey Mr. J, it sounds like somebody is messing with Batman. I thought that was your gag?" Harley stated as she came up next to The Joker who had stopped mid-step with one foot paused in the air as he listened intently.

"Quiet Harley." The Joker snapped, dropping his foot and then sitting on the counter of the security booth and kicking off of his sidekick, with a side kick, so that he could slide down the counter to be right next to the radio; while Harley went flying back in the opposite direction.

"I'm sorry caller, but it sounds like you've got the wrong call in show. We don't get into that power exchange stuff, though I do have to say that with all the latex and rubber Batman wears then you're calling about the right guy." The DJ quipped over the radio.

"Ha Ha! He's got you there Batsy." The Joker laughed, slapping his hand on the back of his knee and smiling broadly; he'd have to use that joke on the Batman the next time they tangled. Harley limped across the room with a pout on her face after being knocked over and sent sliding across the floor from The Joker's kick.

"No you idiot, the girls aren't tied up, they are kidnapped, and I'm going to kill the two of them unless Harris or Batman can stop me in the next hour." The anonymous kidnapper growled at the DJ.

"Well caller, it sounds like you have an interesting hobby and are in need of some professional help if your delusions have gotten this far. Oh well and disconnected, Next Caller!" The DJ replied, not taking the kidnapping statement serious.

The Joker immediately lost interest with the broadcast and smacked the radio off of the counter top where it smashed against one of the bank's marble pillars and the radio shattered into pieces.

"Well well well, it sounds like we have a new hero in town who is playing around with the Bat, and here's me without so much as a howdy or hello." The Joker stated with a split cheeked grin that spread from ear to ear as he hopped off the counter and proceeded towards the door. "Well then, we'll just have to track down this Alexander Harris and introduce ourselves right and proper, why I think I'll bring pie! WA HA HA HA HA HA HA…" The Joker finished before laughing madly and heading out into the street, ignoring what Harley and the hyenas did as he marched out of the bank and into Gotham's night.

Five minutes after The Joker and his accomplices left the scene of the busted up bank, Batman screeched to a halt outside and rushed in.

Batman saw a figure sitting in a chair and jumped forward to spin it around, only to see the garishly smiling corpse of the security guard… with a bomb sitting on his lap.

Bruce's instincts kicked in and he leapt for the front doors of the bank, just as the bomb exploded and showered Batman with a wave of glass, debris and fire that sent Batman skidding and rolling across the concrete.

Apparently Xander wasn't the only one having a crappy night that night.

* * *

On the other side of the world the sun was just beginning to breach the horizon before the magical mansion of John Zatarra, which was currently located in a hidden magical town in the country of Turkey. Inside the mansion, in a library shrouded in darkness by heavy curtains, sat John Zatarra as he stared into the fireplace before him; the flickering flames casting shadows on John's face as he continued to contemplate his problem just as he had all night long.

That a man, or being, was immune to magic was a concern, for magic was the only thing protecting the Homo Magi from discovery and the potential return of the witch burnings.

That the same man was able to enter and leave the hidden magical village with impunity, well that made the concern a real problem. This is the problem that had kept John awake all night long.

"What should I do about you Alexander Harris?" John asked rhetorically as he gazed at the fire, a fire the continued to hide the answers as no sort of scrying could give John answers about young Alexander.

Though the fire refused to answer, it was at that moment that a light was shown on the problem, or more specifically a golden Ankh of light appeared in the air next to John's chair only to disgorge the floating figure of the sorcerer and servant of Order, Dr. Fate.

Dr. Fate appeared floating in the air, arms outstretched to the side, his golden helmet gleaming in the reflected fire light and his blue cape fluttering behind him in an ethereal breeze as he drifted to the floor.

"Greetings my friend, it looks like something is troubling you." Dr. Fate stated in salutation as he landed softly beside John Zatarra's chair. It was clear from the stubble on John's normally clean cut face that the head of the Homo Magi had been awake all night long.

"Problem? My problem is a young man named Alexander Harris who is immune to magic, and top that off apparently my juvenile daughter is somewhat infatuated with him." John replied with a scowl without looking up, waving Dr. Fate to take the chair opposite John and before the fire.

Dr. Fate sat down in the chair as his head quirked to the side, "Alas, the final piece to my puzzle. The Agent of Chaos I now seek has a name; Alexander Harris."

John's head shot up to look at Dr. Fate, a look of horror flashing across John's features, "An Agent of Chaos?" John questioned in fear, for such agents of entropy threatened the very fabric of the world they dwelt upon.

Dr. Fate merely nodded in silent answer before speaking, "Yes my friend, and I've come to you to ask for the assistance of your people in stopping him before he completely changes the order of not only the world, but the entire universe."

John's features flashed from fear, to worry, only to settle on steeled determination, "We will help you in any way possible. What is your plan?"

Thus Dr. Fate began to relay the plans for a trap, a trap for one Alexander Harris, favored of Chaos.

* * *

High above the earth, with the sunlight of a new day shining off its metallic structure, the Watchtower space station kept watch above planet Earth. However, deep inside the space station, Hawkgirl's slumber was interrupted as a golden statue of a hawk flashed bright white before creating a holographic image that hovered over Shayera's bed.

"Lieutenant Shayera Hol of the Thangarian Navy." A voice commanded, and Hawkgirl immediately shot up in her bed fully awake and thumped her fist against her chest in a salute. The hologram was of seven old bearded Thangarians, resplendent in Nth Metal armor that crisscrossed muscled chests with their power axes, swords and maces resting against their knees and their wings splayed back behind their chairs; this was the ruling counsel of the Thangarians.

"Yes High Chancellor." Shayera stated, bowing her head in the holographic presence of her elders.

"The war with the Gordanians is faltering, and we have need of your services." The High Chancellor stated gruffly, a scowl splitting his white bearded face.

"I am at yours and the high counsels' command High Chancellor." Hawkgirl stated with a bow, her fist still clasped against her chest as she wore only her nightgown.

"Continue your infiltration of the Justice League and prepare for the final confrontation, we are coming." The High Chancellor commanded.

"Yes High Chancellor, it will be done." Hawkgirl replied, not hesitating at all.

With that, the hologram flickered out and Hawkgirl went back to sleep; secure in her duty to her people.

* * *

**AN: It never rests, the weave of the universe around Xander spins faster and faster, for chaos spreads like a virus. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha, Xander is in for a tough time, and he doesn't even know about half the things that are headed his way. Well, I didn't quite make it to 2k reviews last time, but then again this chapter came out quicker than the last one. I hope you like it, let me know your thoughts as we will continue to follow Xander's path. Also, expect more installments of stuff happening in the Sunnydale verse as a result of Xander's 'gifts' to his friends. That's about as much of a spoiler as I'm going to give. Cheers!**


	43. Chapter 43: Chaos Is My Friend

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN1: This chapter came out in fits and starts. I had it in my head in its general state since before I finished chapter 42, but I just hadn't been feeling like writing or work was kicking my ever loving arse. Then when I finally did finish up the chapter, disaster struck in the form of a beverage spilled across the keyboard. The spill was immediately followed by a pretty light show of sparks, followed by a loss of my work and I had to start over on chapter 43. I know it's been a long wait and I appreciate the patience… oh who am I kidding, you folks have been ravenously chomping at the bit for updates, I know I do. Patience, BAH! I laugh in the face of patience, give me the update now, I usually demand. Thus, without further delay, I now return you to your regularly scheduled sparky madness.**

**AN2: Fair warning that this ends on a bit of a cliffy, but I felt it was forcing it to add in the last section so it will be the beginning of chapter 44. Cheers!**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 43: Chaos Is My Friend**

"Chaos. I remain, as ever, thy faithful, degenerate son."

~Ethan Rayne BTVS Season 2: Halloween

"Oh my!" Drucilla exclaimed as she stopped her lilting graceful walk through the Sunnydale Cemetery, "Kitten's sparkles are spreading they are." Her eyes suddenly focused off into nowhere; not really seeing anything in front of her and especially not the moon lit clearing around her covered in grave stones and mausoleums.

"Wait, what?" One of Drusilla's fledgling minions, not generally known for their intelligence, made the mistake of interrupting her even though several of the other new vampires around him tried to shut him up.

"Shhh, mommy's watching Kitten's fire flies dip and dive and spread on the wind like embers in the Great Chicago fire. Oh my wonderfully dark kitten did kick over the lantern he did." Drusilla replied as she continued to stare off into nothing while at the same time her right hand darted out and ripped the lips off the minion that dared to interrupt her; showing that though she might be crazy, Drucilla was still an evil master vampire in her own right.

"Aaarrgh!" The minion clutched its face in agony as he collapsed to the ground, his teeth and jawbone clearly visible between his fingers as the lower portion of his face was missing.

Drucilla flicked her hand and negligently flung the fledgling's lips off into the darkness. "Ms. Edith says that everything is changing, and it's all because of my Kitten's pretty light… oh how he sparkles he does, it's like a bonfire, a great roaring fire and a sunrise that I haven't seen in so long."

"What is she going off on now?" One of the other vampires asked a second one under his breath, only to be quickly hushed by several of the others in the group of about twenty fledglings following Drucilla through the cemetery.

Drucilla suddenly stood up straight, her eyes going wide, "Oh my, the sparkle is getting bigger and brighter, so bright that I can't see anything! Oh my, now the light is getting closer…" She gasped, only for a fireball to incinerate her head and turn the former master vampire and seer into a flaming dust ball.

The repeating sound of flying plasma balls incinerated Drucilla and two other fledglings in a rapid fire, "Fwoosh! Fwoosh, fwoosh!" This was then followed quickly by the insane cackles of a teenaged girl.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha! I love my new Mr. Toasty. It's even better than my new Mr. Pointy." Buffy exclaimed as she marched into the clearing in the middle of the cemetery and unloaded point blank into another three fledgling vampires before they even had a chance to realize they were under attack. The back blast of the Toastmaster 4000 repeating plasma blaster sent Buffy's blonde hair fluttering backwards as the gun bucked in her hands with each shot; the heat of the blasts adding a rosy glow to Buffy's maniacally smiling face.

"No fair Buffy, leave some for the rest of us!" Willow's voice whined as she moved out from the shadow of the trees and into the open moonlight shining down on the cemetery. The vampires had only a moment to see the red head's hair seem to float about her on an ethereal wind as her eyes glowed green, very similar to the witch Circe's eyes when she was about to cast magic.

"Allazo!" Willow yelled the word "Change" in Greek, her fingers splayed towards a pair of vampires that were about to shake off their stupor and attack Buffy.

Suddenly, where a pair of Vampires had once stood now hopped two white bunny rabbits with fangs; but only one of them had a mean streak a mile long.

"Oh fooy!" Willow cursed and stamped her foot in frustration. "I wasn't aiming for turning them into bunnies."

It was at this point that the vampires realized that a tactical retreat was in order, and so started to try and scatter, or hop away in the case of the two vampiric bunnies, only for two fledglings to be ripped in half by invisible claws as an older man with glasses and a black leather jacket entered the clearing from behind the vampires.

Rupert Giles' grin was dark and nasty, and his eyes seemed to gleam as his lips muttered quiet unspoken words while his hands made clawing surgical like cutting motions in the air towards another two vampires that stood about ten feet in front of him.

"What?" Both targeted vampires said in confusion at the blood-bag that dared to stand in their way and imitate a mime… only for both of their heads to be viciously ripped off of their bodies by unseen claws.

Vampire dust drifted on the air as two more vampires were destroyed, heralding the return of Rupert "Ripper" Giles; the now more hands-on watcher of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

The remaining ten or so vampire fledglings panicked at suddenly finding themselves turned into prey, so moved to attack like cornered animals.

Glowing scripts of ones and zeros lit the night sky in green text as suddenly a net of the floating numbers erupted from another side of the clearing. The net of computer basic text, glowing as a glob of numbers shot from the darkness of the trees and snagged the remaining vampires as if they had been caught in a big gloopy bubble of jello.

"Mwa HA Ha ha ha, excellent." The voice of Jenny Calendar, aka Janna Kalderash, purred as she waltzed into the opening and looked at the work performed by her latest interweaving of magic and technology; a weird metal gauntlet settled on her right arm. Jenny waltzed over to the side of her boyfriend Ripper, draped herself over his shoulder and kissed him as Giles pulled her towards him possessively, both looking at each other with a bit of a mad gleam in their eyes.

"You do excellent work luv." Giles stated, a bit of British cockney coming through his voice as he gave his girlfriend a squeeze and then an evil smile at the trapped vampires and two vampiric rabbits.

Jenny's eyes gleamed at the praise from her boyfriend, and reached up with a metal gauntlet covered hand to caress Giles's chin, "Thank you love, and if Ripper is a good boy, then later he might get to see just how good I can be at my work." She finished flirtatiously.

"Eww!" Buffy and Willow stated together with puckered disgusted looks on their faces at the mushy gooshy flirting that was going on between their computer teacher and librarian/watcher. After all, it was one thing for teenagers to make out, but nobody liked to think about their parental figures having sex.

"Now now girls, I think it's romantic." The voice of Joyce Summers stated as she walked out of the shadows carrying a statute of the Greek God Apollo that Joyce had purchased for her gallery.

"But mom!" Buffy huffed, "Grownups aren't supposed to talk about having sex in front of us; I swear it's an unwritten rule or something." Buffy whined.

"Enough," Joyce chided Buffy before raising the statue high above her head and calling out to the air, "Apollo, god of the sun and light of life! Give us your power to vanquish the powers of darkness!" The statue above her head flashed brightly with the power of the sun itself, filling the once moonlit cemetery clearing with enough sunlight to make it look like high noon.

"AHHH!" The vampires all yelled, and the two vampiric bunnies screamed "EEEEEE!", as they were instantly vaporized by the power of the sun's rays broadcast through the power of the idol of Apollo.

"My eyes!" Buffy cursed, blinking the tears out of her eyes as her Slayer healing kicked in and allowed her to see again.

Willow, being the smarty that she was, had immediately covered her eyes the moment that Joyce had started to raise the statute of Apollo, so Willow's eyes were just fine. Meanwhile, Giles and Jenny were too busy making out with their eyes closed to have noticed that the vampires were now gone.

"Alright you two lovebirds, lets head back home. The brownies should be just about done now." Joyce interrupted the passionate make out session between Giles and Jenny.

Buffy and Willow both had disgusted looks on their faces watching the scene of Giles and Jenny, that is up to the point where Joyce stated she had made fresh brownies.

"Oh goodie, brownies! Are they the type that have the peanut butter chunks in them?" Buffy asked excitedly as she slung her Mr. Toasty over her shoulder.

Joyce nodded and put an arm around Buffy's shoulder to give her a squeeze before smiling at Willow, "Yep, only the best for my Slayer and young witch."

"You're the best mom, Mom," Buffy stated and hugged her mom back before the group turned and left together, a happy if somewhat weird group, even by Sunnydale standards.

As they left to return to the Summers' household, Ripper Giles and Jenny Kalderash were chatting about the potential of adding Giles' ripping spell into her power glove, while Willow and Joyce discussed the different powers of Greek god's and the possibility of mixing some of the spells from Circe's spell book with the artifacts that Joyce had at her studio gallery.

Buffy on the other hand just enjoyed her mother's hug as they walked home… well, that and the happy memories of toasty fried vampires and the possibility of increasing the explosive yield of her Mr. Toasty as strange new scientific thoughts filtered through her mind. Buffy shook her head as she had the strange urge to cackle madly; Oh well.

* * *

High above Sunnydale two beings imperiously stared down from their dimension of solid white; beings that took on the form of humans of the male and female gender but were really neither. The Powers That Be, those keepers of balance and supposed deities of the champions of Good, were anything but balanced or feeling good at the moment as their view of their Champion the Slayer went white and blanked out the moment that the Vampire seer Drusilla stated that everything was going blinding white.

"What happened?" The male Power demanded an alien voice that held no human inflection. The female shaped companion's face twitched ever so slightly, but that was the extent of her emotions as she struggled to empower their viewing pool to determine what it was that had happened with their champion.

"I don't know. Some chaotic force is blocking us from seeing or influencing the Slayer." The female Power answered back at the male.

"Well, can you get it to focus on any of the people that usually surround the Slayer?" The male Power That Be questioned, a hint of dread entering his voice.

The female deity waved her hand over the viewing pool that was their portal to see what was going on in the lower dimension, only to get a white fuzzy picture and a bunch of static. The female Power then quickly waved her hand over the portal several more times before slouching her shoulders ever so slightly and turning to reply to the other.

"No, the Slayer and those who walked into the graveyard are totally blocked from our viewing." She responded, a pinched look coming to her forehead being the only indicator of her frustration and worry.

The male Power That Be bit his lip, internally scared that their tools on the earth plane had been taken from them. However a slight moment later, at least in human terms of time keeping, the being had postulated all of the possibilities and came up with a potential solution.

"Quickly now. Check out those two mortal boys who weren't with the group tonight. Can you at least get an image of what they are doing?" The male deity asked.

The female being waved her hand again, and sure enough, they were rewarded with a view of Jonathan Levinson and Andrew Wells. The only problem was that both teenaged boys were each currently situated inside of a giant walking robot that was moving quickly, if joltingly, forward towards Willy's Alibi Room.

* * *

"Move the one on the left! No, your other left." Andrew cursed at Jonathan as both struggled to control the series of pulleys, levers and gear handles that kept their behemoth of a steam powered clank moving forward in a somewhat straight direction. Both were tightly packed together in a red lit chamber buried in the chest of the thirty five foot tall, steam powered, brass and steel robot; pipes billowed smoke out of its back leaving a trail of smoke behind the metal monstrosity.

"I'm doing it! I'm doing it! Just concentrate on keeping your side of the robot moving." Jonathan yelled back, and took a moment to release his hand from one of his control gears to punch Andrew in the shoulder.

"Owww." Andrew whined and took a moment to slap Jonathan in the shoulder in return.

Jonathan, covered his now hurt shoulder and glared at Andrew, then made a girly slap towards Andrew who blocked the incoming slap with a slap of his own.

Then it was on, as both boys devolved into a slap-fest in the tight confines of the clank; which humorously enough, the robot mirrored the actions of both boys as the right arm of the robot slapped at the left arm and vice versa.

Finally, with a resounding "SLAP!" Both boys made contact with the others' face while the robot mirrored the boys' actions and double handed punched itself in the face; making the robot teeter backwards precariously and causing both boys to stop their slap-fest to concentrate on balancing out the clank.

"I blame you," Andrew growled at Jonathan while focusing on yanking the levers and pulleys needed to balance out his side of the robot.

"And I blame you, so there." Jonathan snipped, before both boys were able to right the large clank that teetered forward and back until it steadied itself.

"Our target is fifteen feet in front of us, banking fires now," Andrew stated as he started twisting several nobs that would increase the fires fueling the clank's boilers.

"Roger," Jonathan replied as he controlled the leavers to strengthen the clank's arms and reached his side of the clank forward to grasp the roof of Willy's Alibi Room, the demon friendly bar run by Willy the Snitch.

"What?" Andrew asked and stopped his work to look at Jonathan in confusion.

"What what?" Jonathan answered and looked at the now confused Andrew.

"You said Roger. Who are you talking to?" Andrew questioned.

Jonathan just looked back at Andrew before shaking his head, "No, I said Roger, as in affirmative. It's what people say when they understand."

Andrew shook his head, "Then why didn't you just say 'Affirmative,' it's what they say in Star Trek."

"Andrew, no matter what you think, Star Trek really isn't a view to the future," Jonathan responded.

"Blasphemer!" Andrew gasped, looking shocked at his cohort.

"Whatever. Would you just grab the other side of the roof so that we can clean this demon bar out?" Jonathan sighed exasperatedly.

"Fine, but don't think this discussion is over. I know you think Star Wars is the be all and end all, but that doesn't give you the right to insult Star Trek." Andrew pouted as he threw levers and maneuvered the other arm of the clank to grip the other side of the Alibi Room's roof.

"Ok, are you ready?" Jonathan asked as he concentrated on the view being broadcast by the VHS video recording systems that they had rigged into the outside of the clank so they could see what was going on.

"Ready," Andrew answered as he braced his hands on the arm piston control levers.

"Ok, on three, One, two, three… HERE's Jonny!" Jonathan yelled with excitement as both teenaged boys yanked back on their controls and outside the clank ripped the roof off the Alibi Room with the sound of shearing metal.

"Hey! I thought we agreed that the war cry for killing the demons would be "The power of Geek Compels You!" Andrew snapped as he concentrated on assisting Jonathan in throwing the roof to the side so they could get a good view into the building.

Looking down into the bar, Willy the Snitch was staring back up at the monstrous clank and the bar tender was frozen in fear; the bottle of blood he was pouring overflowing the glass in front of him and spilling onto the bar countertop unacknowledged.

In front of Willie a vampire stared upwards gobsmacked at the giant metal robot with its billowing smokestacks that reminded the old vampire of something out of the Victorian era.

The kitten poker players had all stopped mid game, and the pair of polgara demons in the corner had released their arm spikes in shock, however the large scaled thing at the other end of the bar was just looking blankly ahead at the TV; it was wrestling night on the TV after all.

"Whatever Andrew, just light them up." Jonathan commanded.

"Affirmative," Andrew responded as he pulled the lever and a sliding door on the chest of the robot opened up and belched a solid tongue of fire that vaporized Willy, the vampire in front of Willy, and ignited the alcohol behind the bar before Andrew controlled the louvers to direct the fire to cover the rest of the bar.

"You mean Roger," Jonathan said with a smirk that crept across his face as he watched the demons get immolated.

"Whatever," Andrew replied as he concentrated on what he was doing, a manic smile slowly growing across Andrew's face.

"Heh, heh heh, fire." Jonathan chuckled darkly as the demon's died..

"Heh heh heh, ha ha hah." Andrew started laughing with Jonathan, but soon both boy's chuckles turned into full blown laughter.

"Ha ha ha, mwa Ha Ha, Mwa HA HA HA HA… BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Both boys cackled with mad glee.

* * *

Such was the sight that the two Powers that Be saw on their viewing portal, right before the portal blinked out and went bright white, blocking their view of the two teenagers and all of Sunnydale soon after.

The portal flashed white and then grey twice, and then displayed a message:

"Error 404. View not found. If you think you've reached this view incorrectly, please contact you friendly chaos admin. The virus is spreading and the mortals will now choose their own fate. Have a nice day."

Both Powers looked at each other, and then with a true bellow of rage they screamed together, "JANUS!"

For Xander's minion virus had accidentally contaminated his gifts to his friends and entered the Sunnydale dimension. Nothing in the Sunnydale dimension was going to plan, and chaos would make sure of that for some time to come.

* * *

In the DC comic book universe, another discussion on the choices of mortals was being examined.

Nature and nurture, both are integral parts in the development of not only our childhood but also our adult lives. Which is stronger, the genes which we are born with or in Xander's case granted via a fluke of chaos magic, or the experiences that make up our lives? People have debated this type topic throughout the history of mankind; it was an argument almost as old as 'which came first, the chicken or the egg'. Either way you want to argue it, the reality was that as Xander and Selena Kyle silently stepped out of the portal that deposited them behind Gotham City's main Sparkbuck's Coffee shop, Xander was feeling very nervous about the talk he was about to have with Selena; aka Catwoman.

The Xander that led Selena out of the back alley and around to the front street and into the store, well, he may have looked calm, cool and collected but inside he was a mess of anxiety. This Xander's life was no doubt a million light years away in experience than one who would have remained on the Hellmouth of Sunnydale, the Zeppo, the donut boy, the Master of Quip-Fu and tormenter of Cordelia Chase. This Xander had lived a very different life, one of adventure, science, hot women, fast cars, and the chaotic flubs that kept life interesting. However, Xander still had that little voice of his father Tony Harris in the back of Xander's head saying that Xander was worthless, that nobody would ever truly love him or want him, and that any minute now Selena Kyle was going to slap him in the face or kick him in the balls and leave him for the rest of his life. That was a thought that made him cringe, not so much for the thought of getting kicked in the balls, which would still hurt, but rather the twinge of pain that came with the thought that the magnificent and fun loving Selena Kyle would walk out of his life the moment she heard about his past. This just went to prove that in the battle between nature and nurture, you could take Xander out of Sunnydale, but you couldn't take the Sunnydale out of Xander.

The bell above the front door of the Starbuck's made a pleasant jingle sound when Xander swept the door open for Selena; a lopsided smile pasted on his face.

"After you my lady," Xander quipped with a melodramatic bow and sweep of his arm to usher Selena in before him.

Selena shot Xander a wicked little smirk and patted him on his bowed head as she walked by, "As it should be," She taunted him back, her own sense of catty humor shining through.

Xander's smile broadened, the give and take of verbal quips briefly reminded him of the snarking that he and Cordelia Chase had sent each other's way. Looking back on those times as the memories quickly flipped through his mind, Xander could now recognize a bit of repressed sexual tension in his past war of words with the Queen C. Here and now however, Cordelia Chase had nothing on the incredibly sexy and frisky Selena Kyle as she swayed passed him and into the store; Xander taking the moment to enjoy the view from behind.

'_Harem! Bwa ha ha ha! Yes, my precious, my Harem, mine only… Harem, Harem.' _Libido cackled in Xander's mind, sounding a disturbingly like Gollum from Tolkien's Lord of The Rings.

Libido's cackling was quickly cut off with a '_Bong!' _sound that reverberated inside Xander's skull as the voice of Reason delivered a knockout blow to Xander's overactive sex drive via a frying pan to the head.

Xander shook his head, and then with one side of his mouth quirked up in a goofy grin, he followed his breakfast date into the store.

The inside of the Sparkbucks was a mix between modern décor with geometrically cut table and counter tops that were set in soothing colors not unlike one would find in any other big retail corporate coffee shop. However that is where the similarities between the normal coffee shop and Sparkbucks stopped, for on the walls and ceilings were paintings and murals of the galaxy, the universe and the stars as if taken via pictures from a giant telescope. Those new to a Sparkbucks were always a bit taken aback by the pictures on the wall… Right up until the moment they tasted the divine perfection that was a cup of Sparkbuck's coffee. Upon that first sip of caffeine goodness, the customer's mind and senses were immediately made as if one with the universe, the perfection of flavor, of temperature and sensation that was Sparkbucks made a believer out of all that tried its dark beautiful coffee. That's why the Sparkbucks store looked like it was some cross between a corporate franchise coffee shop and a California marijuana dispensary. After all, Sparkbuck's coffee was addictive in its perfection and with its high caffeine content, so it was only fitting in Xander's mind that he mixed the two when planning out the decorations.

The addictive nature of the coffee also explained the large line of people that zigzagged back and forth leading up to the counter and the three registers that were busily manned by happily smiling and caffeinated workers.

Selena frowned when she saw the line. "This place is packed, I doubt this is that good of a place to have our conversation either," she stated as she looked around the large coffee shop and saw that all the tables and booths in the place were full.

Xander grinned down at her as he stood taller than her and able to look around the room. "Don't worry about it, I think you'll be surprised how fast we will get our food and drinks and get a table."

Selena turned to give Xander a sarcastic reply in light of the packed out store, only to be interrupted as a young man wearing a manager's name tag appeared at her elbow.

"What can I get you two? A booth will be ready for you in just a second." The young brown haired and dark complected young man asked while he pulled out a pad of paper with a big gleaming smile.

Selena blinked, and then looked back at the crowded Sparkbucks, and sure enough one of the employees had approached the secluded back corner booth and was in the process of cleaning the table while offering the patrons seated there free coffee for a month if they were willing to give up there table.

"Sure, I'll take a regular coffee, black, and a mocha with extra whipped cream for my lovely lady here." Xander ordered in a friendly manner.

"Right away Sir, it will be as you ordered," the manager said with a brief bow of his head that had Selena raising an eyebrow in confusion.

Xander turned and looked down at Selena and noticed the silent question in her look. "Let's go to the booth first, I'm sure our coffee will be there by the time we sit down."

With that, Xander guided Selena gently by the elbow until they were both seated at the table. Sure enough, by the time both were seated they were both served with steaming hot cups of coffee; Selena's having extra chocolate and whipped cream.

"There you go Sir, will you want to review the city reports while you are here?" The manager asked as he again seemed to just appear at the table after the barista had delivered the coffees.

Xander just smiled and waved his hand dismissively, "No no, that won't be necessary, just send them on in the usual manner. Please make sure that we aren't disturbed."

The manager bowed again and then scurried off back to work.

"What was that?" Selena questioned, taking a sip of her mocha and getting a dab of cream on her lip that she licked off subconsciously.

"What was what?" Xander asked, suddenly playing it coy and acting like he didn't have a clue what she was talking about.

"Xander." Selena stated in a dark tone, and there was something in that tone that told Xander he better stop playing games.

"Ha, fine, fine, I guess this is where I explain everything?" Xander said with a smile as he leaned forward and loosened a watch from his wrist before pressing a button on its side and laying it on the table.

Selena merely looked at Xander silently, a bit of a glare on her face, daring him to drag out his explanation any longer.

So Xander began to explain. "I own this place."

"This place, you mean this Sparkbuck's franchise?" Selena probed.

"No, Sparkbucks, the entire company." Xander explained as he slouched back in the booth opposite of Selena. "Sparkbucks, Inc., ENRON, a few other companies, the Native American tribe that owns the companies and all their land. The Empire of the Leviathan, Castle Wulfenbach, a good majority of the allied countries, etcetera etcetera." Xander counted off on his fingers until he ran out of fingers as Selena just stared wide eyed and stunned at what he was explaining.

Xander smiled as he sipped his coffee, watching as Selena sat there holding her mocha two inches from her lip but not moving at all as his statement had caught her off guard. He couldn't help it, so laughed at her wide mouthed expression.

"Ha! You should see your face. Then again, when I list it out like that I feel a bit stunned myself." Xander finished with a shrug and slurp of his coffee as he waited for Selena's brain to catch up with the conversation.

"Bwuh.. I mean, but, what? How? And what does this all have to do with the girls?" Selena sputtered before setting her coffee down and fully focusing on Xander.

Xander looked chagrined and rubbed the back of his head while giving Selena a wry grin, "Ok, so you want the whole story, well it started with a girl and a wooden stake…"

Xander started to explain about his life growing up in Sunnydale, in another dimension, and how demons were real and he met the Vampire Slayer and how things went from there. He told Selena about having to stake his brother in all but name when Jesse had been turned into a vampire. Xander described his hate of demons and quest to destroy them, and his battle with the night up through Halloween.

And as if the story hadn't been weird enough for Selena, then Xander went on to describe the circumstances of Halloween and his entrance to this new dimension. How he was stuck here due to higher dimension beings and couldn't get back home, and how his luck had him both succeeding very well in life and love, as well as having heart aches along the way… Zatanna, the minions, the monsters and vampires, the battles, the wars and the losses, and learning to care for his people.

Xander's story went on and on like some weird, crazy and often manic fiction story that was even hard to believe for somebody who lived in a dimension with the Justice League and meta-humans seemingly on every corner.

Time went by, and as Xander told his tale, Selena found herself getting caught up in Xander's life and her admiration for what he had gone through and how he had succeeded against his challenges only made her like him more. No matter how skeptical she tried to be, and she was indeed skeptical about most things given she had grown up on the streets, she believed he was telling her the truth, and the truth only drew her to him more. Here was a young man who had grown up in a poor abusive household and had ended up living more in the night than the day, much like Selena's own life. However where Selena had originally turned to prostitution before scrabbling her way out of that and into a life of high crime, Xander had taken his hard luck life and turned his darkness against the demons, against those who would hurt the people he cared about.

It was a long discussion, and as the story drew on both Xander and Selena found themselves lost for the time. Both enjoying being together; Selena enjoying learning more about Xander, and Xander truly enjoying just being able to share his life and a great deal of his secrets with at least one person in this new world. Xander didn't really know why he was trusting her with so much, no that wasn't right, the romantic part of him trusted Selena because Xander felt a pull towards the beautiful feisty woman who had her own dark side. Added to that was his cynical logical side of him that trusted Selena because she was a loner and couldn't really hurt him if she wanted to. Besides, from reading the comic books in his former Sunnydale dimension, Xander knew that Selena had known Batman's true identity and did not betray it.

And as the story went on, Xander found himself smiling more as he unburdened himself of the secrets of his life, and both Selena and Xander found themselves drawn more to one another.

* * *

While Xander was busy telling Selena about the twists and turns of his life, Magda Kalderash was busy showing Wonder Woman through the twists and turns of the Arcane University of The Leviathan.

"And that was the arcane library, which due to our archeological divisions now includes several stashes of works thought lost with the Great Library of Alexandria, and we are also proud to be the only magical university in this dimension that has a loan-a-scroll program with the historians of Shangri La." Magda detailed as she pushed her way out of the library's doors and led Diana out into a hall that was full of people bustling about their work.

Diana was amazed, not only by the vast size of the library and its collection but also the number of researchers and students that were moving about the room and now the hallway in front of her. Teenagers and college students of all ages in plain clothes and backpacks mixed and mingled with anonymous beings in long hooded robes bearing the mark of The Leviathan and carrying scrolls; they cluttered the halls as people moved between research facilities, ritual rooms and classes.

"Yes, an incredible sight." Magda turned towards Diana, showing Wonder Woman a smirking face with milky blind eyes.

Wonder Woman just blinked before she gestured around, "And what is all this, all of these people? There can't possibly be this many magical adepts in your small Empire."

Magda only smiled, "Ah, but you are assuming that the gene to access magic must be received at birth. With Science, anything is possible, especially when combined with Magic. Basic gene redrafting is sufficient to replicate and grant most if not all magical talents that are found throughout the world. What you see here is merely the students learning to fully control their powers before assisting the Empire in rolling back the secrets of the Universe. Besides, not even I know the true size of the Empire as more and more countries seek to secretly join The Leviathan in his work"

Magda led the now speechless Wonder Woman down the hall pointing to an enchantment lab, a ritual empowerment room, then the technomagic department before gesturing out a window that opened out to a view of an artificial valley built into the inside of the mountain.

"By the leadership of The Leviathan, all things are possible," Magda stated with a manic glee as she moved so that Wonder Woman could look out into the valley.

Before Wonder Woman's eyes spells and explosive rounds shot back and forth across the landscape hidden inside the mountain. Situated under an artificial sun that shone down on a large forest that was planted next to a dessert, next to plains, then a jungle, then rolling hills, was a war of unimaginable fury given its confined space. Meteor's appeared seemingly out of thin air to gouge craters in the ground as fire and lightning shot back and forth between opposing forces. Magical shields rippled in gold and black and blue, and armored troopers covered in glowing green runes marched, jumped with jetpacks and shot at each other while silver clad Valkyries flew and strafed from above; it was an all-out war to the death waged on a miniature scale and fully enclosed within a mountain.

Wonder Woman was flabbergasted, to think that The Leviathan, that Alexander had harnessed the power of magic in addition to science. The Amazon people had long ago given up the pursuit of science in exchange for magical power. Whereas the World of Man used cars and airplanes to move about the world, the Amazons used Pegasus, or griffins, or even the magical invisible jet construct that Wonder Woman used. Instead of healthcare, the Amazons had used the purple ray or healing magic. Instead of guns for weapons, the Amazons had magically reinforced spears, arrows and armor, instead of artillery or tanks, they used giant Cyclops, chimera or magically enchanted catapults. What Wonder Woman was seeing here shouldn't have been possible, shouldn't exist as it wiped away the last of her belief that her people could have survived the repercussions of insulting and showing dishonor to The Leviathan.

"There is no simulated combat or war games here, as our technology allows us to fully heal and bring the dead back to life. The only things illegal on the battlefield are disintegration, immolation and some of the darker necromancy spells that destroy the soul." Magda's voice interrupted Wonder Woman's thoughts and drew Diana's attention away from the small war and to the words that Magda had just uttered.

"Necromancy?" Wonder Woman looked at Magda with horror. "How could you ever condone such evil dark magic in any form whatsoever? How could Alexander be so evil to let that vile art be practiced in his lands!" Wonder Woman finished with a condemning shout of anger, only to be silence with a slap from the Elder Kalderash.

"Silence child." Magda hissed with a glare at the now startled Wonder Woman who was holding her cheek. Magda's blow hadn't hurt Diana in the slightest, but it did shock her.

"I will not have you insulting an honorable man based on bias and base superstition just because you've had bad interactions with necromancers in the past." Magda punctuated each of her words with a poke of the finger into Wonder Woman's sternum.

"But, my Mother…" Wonder Woman started to explain, only to get cut off mid-sentence.

"Ah, your mother says so, and we both know how infallible your mother has been recently, don't we." Magda snidely remarked.

"Come child, come learn that though your heart may be in the right place the world is not painted in shades of only black and white, but grey, and sometimes black is good where as white is evil." Magda commanded imperiously as she grabbed Diana by the wrist and dragged her through the halls towards the classroom area.

They took a right turn, a left turn, then down a long hallway until they came to a door with a simple class room number on it. Opening the door, Magda pushed Wonder Woman in before her and both were able to catch the end of the lecture.

An old wrinkled woman with startling green eyes stood proudly in front of the class and gestured towards a summoning circle before her as the woman leading the class discussed the spirit floating inside the circle.

"The key to the magic is not in the language but in the intent." The professor stated, strangely familiar to Diana even though she swore she had never seen the old woman before. The woman was dressed in green and purple Greek robes and had a gold necklace about her throat, the only other adornment being two large silver colored metal discs embedded into the temple of the professor's head. "If you seek to unleash the angry dead, then that is led by your intent, however if you wish to help the spirits move on or even seek out the answers that the dead keep then a calm intent is needed." The professor continued; catching Diana's eyes and flinching as the old woman seemed to recognize Diana.

The professor looked away from Diana and then at the clock in the back of the room before turning back to address the class. "I see our time is at an end," she told the class before turning to the spirit. "Victor, having named the killer of your family, know that justice will be found and administered by The Leviathan, and you may now rest at peace."

"Thank you," the ghost stated, its voice echoing as if speaking from a long way away as it drifted off into the air, the spirit evaporating like mist before the sun.

The students in the class clapped and started gathering their things. "Remember class, your next assignment is due Friday and can be found in chapters four through ten of Tobin's Spirit Guide the true unabridged version. Class dismissed."

The professor started putting her papers and scrolls away before waving her hand at the summoning circle and banishing the chalk drawings from the floor.

Magda merely gestured Wonder Woman to move out of the back of the classroom where they stood and to approach the teacher.

Diana moved towards the professor who was dutifully putting away the class lecture notes while not paying any attention to the two guests in the room.

Diana started to greet the old woman who didn't seem to recognize that Wonder Woman was standing before her. "Greetings, I am Diana, Princess of."

"Yes yes, I know who you are Diana of Themyscira, daughter of Hippolyta and princess of the Amazons." The old woman looked up into Diana's eyes with a heated angry glare.

Diana was taken aback by the anger directed at her by this stranger.

"What?" The professor questioned as she cocked her hip to the side and planted a fist on it, glaring still at Diana, "Don't you recognize me?" The old woman said with a sneer.

Diana stared back at the older woman, the professor's brown hair mottled with white and grey and a no doubt once shapely figure now drooping and sagging a bit with age. It was the eyes though, those glaring glowing green eyes that finally triggered Diana's memory.

"Circe!" Diana gasped wide eyed and took a defensive step back.

"At your service Princess." Circe replied with a mock bow before smirking back at Diana. "Or should I say at The Leviathan's service after his forces captured me and denied me my magic, leaving only enough to be able to teach his classes or obey his commands." Circe finished by tapping the inch wide silver disks that were embedded in her skull and showing through the skin on both sides of her face.

"It is your sentence, and when you have paid your dues to society in a hundred years, then you shall be freed to travel about as you please and you will retain your magic so long as you do not use it for the harm of others." Magda serenely replied, not flustered at all by the sorceress's anger.

Wonder Woman swung to look at Magda, "You keep a murderer alive and have her teach your students her vile arts?" Diana demanded.

"Murderer!" Circe spat and moved forward into Wonder Woman's face, "It's not murder when it is vengeance! It's not murder when you seek to kill the one who killed you first, who stole your child and banished you to hell to be tortured for centuries!" Circe screamed in anger at Diana, and if the sorceress still had the power to do so, probably would have turned Wonder Woman into a pig.

"Wha-What?" Diana startled question stumbled out of her mouth as she stared wide eyed down at the shorter witch who age had shrunk.

"Your mother child! Your mother Hippolyta tired of a game I played with her and killed me, stole my child to raise as an Amazon instead of by my hand, and then banished me to Hades for all eternity!" Circe spat; telling Diana a side of the story that Wonder Woman had never heard when Hippolyta had first recanted to Diana the feud between Amazons and Circe.

"But, but… but why did you try to kill me then?" Diana queried, her mind in a tizzy as long held truths shattered and were reforged given the new information.

"Your Mother stole my child from me, so I sought to steal her child away from her." Circe punctuated her words with a poke to Diana's chest before Circe turned back to angrily shove papers back into the briefcase sitting on the lectern. "Sure I shouldn't have played games turning men and women into animals, but I was bored back then, I'm an immortal and life gets boring after a while, so sue me. That didn't mean your mother had to do what she did, and so she created an enemy in me." Circe growled the last part as she slammed the lid closed on her briefcase.

Diana was left speechless as she stared at Circe who was panting in anger.

"See child, the truth is not always as clear as you first perceive it. Further, your beliefs may be tempered with time and training, but that does not mean that they are always the truth." Magda calmly added, resting an arm on Diana's shoulder and causing Diana to be pulled from her thoughts.

Diana blinked her eyes several times, trying to clear her mind of her befuddlement.

Diana was thinking about what she had heard, not only Circe's reason for hating the Amazons but also the tail end of the lecture where necromancy was discussed as a tool for helping solve crimes or send the spirits on to their rest.

However just as Wonder Woman was going to open her mouth to respond, a loud beep was heard coming over the loud speaker system, and suddenly the lights in the room and in the hallway outside the classroom started flashing red.

"Code Red, Code Red, repeat we have a Code Red magical alert! All forces assemble for immediate war deployment, The Leviathan has been captured by enemy magical forces. Repeat, all forces assemble for immediate war deployment. Magical inhibitors and safeties on Stepford devices are shut off for all approved prisoners sworn to protect The Leviathan." The voice announced as shouting filled the halls outside the classroom.

Diana quickly looked to Magda, only to see a hard angry look pasted across the Elder Kalderash's face.

"BWA HA HA HA! My power returns!" Circe cackled madly, and as Diana's head swung back to look at Circe, the sorceress grew younger before Diana's eyes as the two silver disks on the witch's head dimmed from their formerly silver shiny color to that of dull gunmetal grey.

"Come, we are going to war to save your Betrothed." Magda commanded, and proceeded to stomp out of the classroom.

As Diana followed, she couldn't help but feel that the goosebumps on the back of her neck were not so much for Circe regaining her power, but for the fact that the full weight of the Leviathan's forces were about to drop on somebody's unexpected head.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha ha, they won't know what hit them." Circe laughed darkly, her words echoing Diana's thoughts.

* * *

"And that's me in a nutshell… help, I'm stuck in a nutshell. How did I get in this nutshell." Xander finished his retelling of his life by pantomiming being stuck in a nut shell and tried to end it on a humorous self-deprecating note, as he was uncomfortable having just bared his soul to Selena.

Selena smirked at the ending, as Xander's retelling of the his life had given her a bit of an insight into Xander's insecurities; not that Xander had purposefully stated such, but Selena was able to read between the lines in Xander's tale and see where he seemed to downplay his abilities.

Xander sighed slightly in relief when he saw Selena quirk the small smirk. Taking a big inhale and exhale of air, Xander slid himself back in his seat and decided to ask the million dollar question on the table.

"So, um, where does that leave us?" Xander questioned with a partial smile that lifted only one side of his mouth. His eyes sparkled on his handsome chiseled face, and Selena admired the view for a moment before responding.

"Well, I believe you told me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth." Selena replied with a smirk before picking up her mocha and playfully licking the last little bit of whipped cream off the side of her mug.

Selena's eyes sparkled with wicked glee when she noticed Xander stare at her tongue as it darted out to catch the cream and swallow it, only for Xander to look up into her eyes and gulp as he saw her wicked playful look.

"The whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God." Xander quipped back, trying to pull off the calm and collected look as he smirked back at her with a goofy smile and placed his hand over his heart and raised the other in the air at shoulder height.

"And from what you were telling me, you weren't just playing with me, and I believe you when you say you care about me. The only problem I'm seeing is being willing to share you with the other girls in your life." She finished as she set down her glass and looked steadily back at Xander; Xander's goofy grin melting off his face as he waited for her answer.

"And? So where does that leave us? It's up to you, as frankly I just want you in my life. I never expected you let alone anybody to be interested in me, but at the same time I now have responsibilities and care about the others greatly also." Xander settled back, to wait for her answer.

Selena stared back, she didn't know what her answer was as different parts of her fought. She cared about Xander, and he was dead sexy and a Viking in the sack. Still, the street wise and catty part of Selena wasn't sure if she wanted to date a Tomcat. Not to say that Xander was purposefully going around hunting for other girls to love. However, Selena realized that if she accepted the idea of dating Xander, then she was doing so with the full knowledge that he was engaged to at least three girls and had others on the side that played a significant role in his life. The sex with others wasn't that big of an issue to her, what with having grown up as a prostitute on the street Selena had her fair share of male and female lovers before she put on the persona of Catwoman.

Still…

"Excuse me, but can I talk to Xander for a moment." A female voice interrupted Selena's thoughts and Xander's waiting.

Both Xander and Selena startled, and Selena realized that for the length of Xander's tale she hadn't been able to hear any noise coming from the busy coffee store outside their booth. Looking up, both Xander and Selena saw a raven haired beauty with dark brown eyes and a shapely figure wearing form fitting black slacks and heels and a tight white sweater t-shirt that hugged the woman's curves up until the turtleneck that rested under the face of the intruder on their conversation.

"Zatanna!" Xander startled as he looked up and recognized the woman who was intruding on Selena and his private moment.

"What are you doing here?" He finished, the last part coming out through a frown and his eyebrows pinched together as he was clearly not happy to see Zatanna, especially not right now.

"Um, I need to talk to you." Zatanna stated, looking uncomfortable as her gaze moved from Selena who was glaring up at Zatanna to Xander who was definitely unhappy to see Zatanna.

"I'm busy right now and I thought I made it clear that I really didn't want to see or talk to you again after you attacked me." Xander replied, crossing his thick muscled arms across his chest and glaring up at Zatanna.

"Really, it will only take a moment and it's really important that I talk to you right now." Zatanna urged, biting her lip as she looked at Xander. Out of the corner of her eye, Zatanna assessed the woman sitting with Xander and determined that the girl wasn't of any concern. Either way, the woman would be better off if Zatanna was able to separate her from Xander.

"Fine." Xander growled, "You're obviously not going to leave until I talk to you, and we were almost finished here anyway." Xander finished by picking up his watch and pressing a button, suddenly allowing the sounds of the store to flood into the booth as he put his watch back on his wrist and moved Zatanna out of his way as he slid out of the booth and gave his hand to help Selena out from behind the table.

"Come on." Xander commanded with a glare at Zatanna as he walked hand in hand with Selena out of the Sparkbucks and onto the busy Gotham street.

Zatanna looked around at the busy street, then back at Xander and Selena who were standing their waiting for Zatanna to start speaking.

"Um, can we talk a bit more privately." Zatanna asked, looking around and spotting the alley that led behind the Sparkbucks.

Xander just glared at Zatanna for a second more, thoughts of her attacking him the last time they met going through her mind as the primal spirit in his head growled.

Zatanna merely waited for Xander to lead the way into the alley.

"Fine! I hope this is fast." Xander exclaimed as he dropped Selena's hand and threw his arms up in frustration as he walked into the mouth of the alley with Zatanna following him and Selena behind her.

Walking around to the backside of the store, Xander whirled around and placed his hands on his hips as he waited for Zatanna to start talking.

"So, what do you have to say that is so gosh darn important?" Xander growled.

Zatanna bit her lip as she walked up closer to Xander.

Just as she was about a foot in front of Xander, and getting into his personal space, Zatanna uttered one word.

"latroP!" Zatanna stated loudly.

"Wait, What?" Xander questioned, a startled look on his face… only to have Zatanna Zatarra place two hands on Xander's chest and shove him backwards through the portal that had just appeared behind him.

"WAhhh!" Xander yelled in surprise as he fell backwards, disappearing through the portal that snapped closed while a satisfied smirk grew upon Zatanna's face as she turned around to leave the alley…

Only to have Selena's fist crunch Zatanna's face followed by an elbow strike to the temple as Selena rushed Zatanna, snagging the magician by the hair and using the handhold on Zatanna's head of hair to bend backwards and flip Zatanna face first into a dumpster.

"DON'T TOUCH MY BOYFRIEND YOU BITCH!" Selena roared at the dazed Zatanna who was losing consciousness; Selena never having felt as angry as she was in that second.

The door to the back of the Starbucks burst open and slammed against the other side of the alley as Sparkbuck's coffee baristas with giant guns burst out of the back of the coffee shop.

"We got here as quickly as we could, tell us what happened," the manager demanded with a fearsome growl as he approached Selena, pointing several baristas to seize the downed Zatanna.

Selena blinked, but then shook her head as more and more portals popped up in the alley and silver clad Valkyries and black armored troops flooded the alley.

"She said she wanted to talk to us, said it was important," Selena growled and moved to go jump on Zatanna, Selena's hands and nails poised like claws to rip out Zatanna's eyes. The manager grabbed Selena by the shoulder and pulled her back before she could go all Catwoman on the woman who kidnapped her boyfriend.

"Stay with me, tell me what she did so we can find him and help get him back safely." The manager commanded, drawing Selena's attention back towards him.

"She moved in close, yelled some gobbledygook and a portal of some sort opened behind Xander before she pushed him through it." Selena snarled, looking like she wanted nothing more than to sink her claws into the now fully unconscious Zatanna.

"You!" The manager pointed at one of the Valkyries standing next to him. "Connect into the computer system and see what the recording devices have at the time that bitch dared to attack our Master."

"Yes sir," The Valkyrie nodded, and then a mere moment later responded. "The recordings recognize a burst of magic and the HomoMagi uttered the word 'Portal' backwards."

The manager then cupped his hand to his ear, "Von Pinn, as the AI in charge of the east coast region of the United States, I'm requesting the immediate insertion of a prisoner mind control Stepford device."

"I have monitored the situation, Stepford device insertion is Approved." Came the Germanic accented reply in the manager's hidden ear piece, and a flash of light deposited a syringe full of a bright silver metallic compound with a large nasty looking barbed needle on the tip of the syringe.

The manager smiled in evil glee as he grabbed the syringe and sank down next to the unconscious Zatanna before using all of his strength to bury the needle straight through her forehead and into her brain.

Zatanna woke up with a scream of agony as the manager depressed the plunger and injected the Nth Metal nanoclanks.

Zatanna looked to be struggling, as her tear filled eyes darted from the right to the left as she took in all the angry people around her… angry people with really big guns. Unfortunately for Zatanna, the only thing she was able to move at that moment were her eyes.

"Where did you send Alexander?" The manager growled.

"To my people's home village hidden behind dimensional wards in the hills of Turkey." Zatanna found herself speaking without her control, the truth and the whole truth being forced through her lips without any ability to stop herself as her eyes grew wide with fear at betraying her people.

"You heard her, pass on the message and deploy the troops." The manager quickly commanded before wheeling back on the paralyzed Zatanna.

"What are your people planning on doing with Alexander?" Selena demanded.

Zatanna's next words caused a chill to go down the backs of Selena and the gathered followers of The Leviathan.

"We will banish the agent of Chaos back to the pits of limbo and the plains of oblivion where the chaos lords roam. No longer will he be able to exist in this dimension as the chaos returns him to his base materials and the entropy that he represents." Zatanna replied, shocked at the venom that was issuing from her own lips. It was at that moment, when she said those words and realized how she had let her anger at Alexander sway her to this plan, it was at that moment that she realized she may have doomed her own people.

A thought that was repeated by the angry man interrogating her.

"We will save our Master, and you better pray that we do. For if we are not able to save him in time, then know that you and all of your people will be destroyed, every man, woman and child of them."

After telling Zatanna exactly what he thought about her actions, the manager turned to Selena and gestured beside her where a portal snapped open.

"Come, we will await the safe return of Alexander from the security of Castle Von Wulfenbach." At the manager's urging, Selena led the way through the portal before the manager.

"Oh, and bring the prisoner," the manager said as he stopped just before the portal. "If we are unable to save The Heterodyne, she will be the first to be destroyed."

With that, the manager entered the portal and was soon followed by the rest of the people in the alley way, including the haltingly moving mind controlled Justice League member Zatanna Zatarra… or make that the former Justice League member.

* * *

**AN: Well, sorry about the wait and the cliffy… oh wait, no I'm not sorry about the cliffy; BWA HA HA HA HA HA… ahem, excuse me. I hope that chapter 44 will come out more quickly than 43 did but I'm having trouble writing a particular magic using character from the DC comics because I can't find a good comic book that describes the way he talks. Now I'm off to work on some of my other story chapters to see if I can get more out. I hope you enjoy it, let me know your thoughts. I'd especially be interested in hearing your thoughts on what you think the minion/spark virus will do to change the story in the Sunnydale universe. Cheers!**


	44. Chapter 44: The Female Of The Species

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, or DC comics.

**AN1: Ok, so back to writing again. First of all, I love comic books and DC comic books in particular. Why do I love comic books, you may ask? The heroes and hotties for one thing, but the main reason I love DC comics is because they have been retcon'd so many times, and there are so many different authors writing back stories about the characters, that I can pick and choose the character details that I want to use and it's still in line with canon. Some of the uber DC comic book geeks may cry foul with a portrayal of a minor character from DC lore that I use in this chapter, but I've picked the version that I want to use, and now I hope you can sit back and enjoy the chaos. Cheers!**

**AN2: It's been so long since I've done it, so here you go… BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA! (smirk*) I really needed to get that out there, it's been bottled up for too long. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**AN3: Not beta'd. Beta never got back to me, so I decided to give it a go over myself and just post it. That said, I have a fever, head cold and dehydration… seeing double is not conducive to good editing. Thus, you have been warned! Warned I SAY! FEAR THE WARNING!**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 44: The Female Of The Species**

_When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,  
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.  
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.  
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male. _

_When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,  
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can.  
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail.  
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male._

_~Rudyard Kipling, first two stanzas of his work titled, "The Female of the Species"_

Xander tumbled backward out of the shadows of the Gotham alleyway and out into the warm Mediterranean sun, only to impact hard onto a cobblestone street.

"What the hell was thaaa…" Xander's words cut off midstream as he looked up and realized that he wasn't alone.

"Um, I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore Toto, or Gotham city for that matter." Xander mumbled as he looked up from the hard stone market square, a market square devoid of any vendors' stalls but by no means empty.

Surrounding Xander in a circle three feet in any direction was a shimmering shield of whirling gold light that twisted with the sound similar to a whirling tornado. Visible on the other side of the shield, the entire population of the hidden city of the Homo-Magi stared back at Xander as magic ushered from their hands to power the shield that held Xander trapped in the center marketplace of the Hidden City. Magic issued out of staffs, staves, wands and other associated magical foci as several thousand grim faced adult magic users cast their magic to power the runic assembly inscribed in glowing chalk across the large cobblestoned city square. The medieval looking city square was bordered by old buildings hung out over the streets and cast shadows on the standing crowds that stretched down winding roads out of the city square that was, at that moment, filled to standing room only. The population of the hidden city had turned out en mass as the magic users worked together to destroy what they saw as a threat to their survival, a being whom Dr. Fate hunted and who had already breached their boundaries and sloughed off their attacks; for if normal humans became immune to magic, the entire city and their way of life could be endangered… not to mention their feelings of superiority.

"Indeed Agent of Chaos, for it was your fate that brought you here before, and it is your fate that your time in this dimension ends here and now." A deep resonating voice drew Xander's attention over Xander's left shoulder. Xander's eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he saw the golden helmet and blue and gold ensemble that was the trademark uniform of Dr. Fate.

"Uh, heh, Hi there Dr. Fate." Xander stated, looking around and seeing a lot of unfriendly faces surrounding him as he stood up and brushed himself off.

Standing next to Dr. Fate was John Zatarra, Zatanna's father and the current leader of the homo-magus. Both John and Dr. Fate stood slightly in front of the masses of homo-magus; otherwise known as humans with the gene enabling them to use magic.

"I thought I said I was sorry the last time I was here. Shame on me the first time, this time was all you though." Xander said with a friendly smile as he turned to leave the encircling shield.

"You will not be going anywhere but where we send you Alexander, you must pay for your crimes of twisting the fates of this dimension." Dr. Fate stated firmly from his place outside the shimmering magical shield.

Xander frowned in thought as his clothing shimmered and slimmed to form fit to his body, '_Crimes? What is it with these jumped up magical folks thinking that they can do anything they want just because they can do magic and regular humans can't?'_

'_My vote is shred them and let the pieces stay where they fall. They've kidnapped you and are threatening you. Nobody threatens the Alpha and gets away with it.'_ The Primal part of Xander growled in his head.

'_No need for bloodshed just yet. It's not like their magic can hurt you.'_ The voice of Reason countered just as Xander's clothing shifted to a black colored armor that seemed to creep across his body like a living thing.

'_Kitties!' _The voice of insanity shouted in the back of Xander's head for no real reason, but Xander and the rest of his voices just ignored insanity for the moment.

In response to Dr. Fates statement, Xander just smirked and shook his head as before the eyes of the gathered Homo-Magi Xander's clothing shimmered and bled together in a black inky form until Xander was covered from head to toe in a mirrored black substance; unfortunately for Xander, the eerie formation of his armor furthered the belief of the gathered magical people that they were dealing with an agent of the Chaos Lords as Dr. Fate had convinced them.

"Well now, I thought we went through this before. Your magic can't touch me." Xander stated through his armor as he smiled and took a step forward to bypass the shield.

Only to smash face first into a solid wall of air, bounce off it and end up landing on his butt.

"You may be immune to magic by itself, but you aren't immune to the natural elements themselves when they are merely accelerated by magic. Even you, abomination, are subject to the effects of gravity, heat and so forth." John Zatarra growled at the man… no, the "thing" that had dared to sully his daughter's virtue.

Xander put his hand flat against the shield of spinning air, and time skipped for a moment as his brain slid into a mode of superfast thought. Quadratic vector calculations and physics air flow models flew through his brain, calculating and double checking his math… all coming up with the end result of Xander figuring out that yep, he was trapped.

"Well crap, what the heck did I ever do to you that you felt the need to kidnap me?" Xander griped as he rapped his armored knuckles against the spinning shield of air that was accelerated due to the magical force pushing on the air from the outside of the circle. Without being able to connect with the magic itself, Xander was unable to disrupt it with his Nth Metal armor.

"You have twisted the balance of this dimension to the point where I can no longer see the fates of this dimension's champions, even more so millions of individual's fates have changed. You have stoppered death and created life in the inanimate, indiscriminately changing the passage of what was meant to be all to suit your purpose. You have destroyed the order of things. You have defied Fate! You are an Agent of Chaos, and I have been tracking the resonance of your entropy since you first entered this dimension. The Lords of Order will not be denied, and for your crimes against the balance, you are to be banished to the plains of oblivion." Dr. Fate stated definitively.

John Zatarra also chimed in with a growl, "And you sullied my daughter, tricking her into your bed only to cast her away once you got your fill of her." Zatanna's father's eyes flashed with anger as he glared at Xander.

Xander held up his hands and waved them back and forth, gesturing his denial, "Hey now, as for Dr. Fate's statement, a Man's got to do what a man's got to do to survive."

'_Preach it brother!' _Xander's voice of insanity skipped out into his mind wearing bellbottom jeans, a tie-died hippy shirt and peace signs hanging around Insanity's neck. _'Stick it to the Man… um… man.'_

'_Not now Insanity!'_ Xander mentally cursed.

"Besides, John, do you mind if I call you John?" Xander started to talk, only to have John Zatarra utter a low growl in reply.

"Jeese, tough crowd." Xander muttered while rubbing the back of his neck, "But anyway, John, it was your daughter that stripped me naked in the middle of her magic act, and it was your daughter who tackled me onto her couch, not the other way around."

"Lies!" John Zatarra shouted and took a step forward towards the trapped Xander, only to be held back by a hand on his shoulder from Dr. Fate.

"Do not listen to the champion of Chaos, let us begin the spell to open the portal to the plains of oblivion, to the realms of limbo and the Chaos Lords." Dr. Fate commanded, and raised his hands towards Xander while Dr. Fate's gold cloak began to flap in an ethereal breeze as he floated up into the air.

"Ah, come on guys, can't we all just get along?" Xander pleaded before commanding to the air, "Portal… Come on, Portal back to the castle, open up! Portal damn it!" Xander tried opening a transportation portal, yet nothing happened.

"I'm sorry sir, but I am unable to connect with any of the portal transportation hubs, the magical dimension in which the city is hidden is interrupting any flow of communications into or out of the Hidden City." The prim and proper British voice of Jarvis the AI communicated via Xander's armor and to Xander's internal nanoclanks.

Outside Xander's shielded enclosure, Dr. Fate and John Zatarra's chant became louder, and the gathered thousands of magic users chorused back in a repetitive chant as they took over full control of the shield while the two magical superpowers, Dr. Fate and John Zatarra, reached out with their magic to tear a hole in the dimensional fabric of their world.

There was a brief flash of light that momentarily blinded Xander, and he was forced to blink the tears out of his eyes as his armor hadn't been able to shield his vision from the blinding flash.

Xander subconsciously wiped at his face, even though his armor was coving his face completely.

"What the hell, come on, warn a guy first before you do…" Xander's gripe was cut off as he felt something drape over his shoulder and slither down to pat his armored rear end.

Xander's head shot up, only to look straight up into an open tear in the fabric of space and time, a tear that had several long multicolored tentacles coming out of it, one of which had just patted his butt.

"AHHHH! BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH! I gave up demon girls when I left Sunnydale!" Xander screamed as protective spikes shot up to cover his armored body as he swatted away the tentacle that had just goosed his rump.

'_Not the Harem I want! Not the Harem I want!'_ The voice of Xander's libido screamed in fear and scurried off into the depths of Xander's mind.

Xander's clawed hands shredded the tentacles that dangled down into his enclosure, turning the long rainbow colored appendages into colorful goo that splashed across the shield around him and slid down to form a puddle on the cobblestones at his feet.

"Help! Help! I'm being repressed! Rape, attempted Rape! Help Police, Fire department, mail man! Anybody Help!" Xander screamed as he desperately fought off the ever growing horde of tentacles that tried to intrude out of the Chaos realm and into his tight enclosure. The small size of the shielded off area was both a curse and a blessing. Whereas Xander couldn't get away, the tentacles were forced to come through the small rip between the two dimensions, and only from one direction; directly above Xander.

"I'm not an Agent of Chaos! I'm not an Agent of Chaos! You're making a mistake!" Xander yelled desperately as he smacked away another tentacle that had tried to wrap around his throat before pausing to pound on the solid wall of air separating Xander from freedom.

Still, Dr. Fate and John Zatarra were unswayed.

"Hold fast. The Champion of Chaos is only trying to trick you. Hold the shield." Dr. Fate commanded before again joining John Zatarra in chanting the magic that held the rip in space open.

"I'm not the champion of Chaos, if anything I'm an unwilling pawn of Chaos! Ask Mr. Mxyzptlk ! Anybody, Help!" Xander screamed again as he spun in a swirling blur of blades and claws fighting off the grasping tentacles trying to drag him upwards.

A loud "Pop!" was heard and the imp known as Mr. Mxyzptlk appeared in the air, only this time he was wearing a velvet and silk house coat and slippers and looked like a short Hugh Hefner or millionaire playboy.

"I'm in a little bit of a hurry, but did somebody say my name?" Mr. Mxyzptlk asked as he hovered in the air as if reclined on an invisible lazy boy while drinking a glass of cognac.

"Help! They are trying to force me into another dimension! If you don't help me, you won't get to see any more pranks or chaos!" Xander desperately and loudly begged as he stopped for a second to address Mxyzptlk only to get choked out by a tentacle that wrapped around Xander's head and pulled Xander a foot off the ground before Xander could sever its grasp.

"Trying to steal my entertainment now are you? Well we can't have that." The imp stated before turning to show an evil smile towards Dr. Fate and John Zatarra. Around them, the magic users of the Hidden City started mumbling their spells louder, trying to reinforce the power of the shield surrounding Xander.

"Go back to the place you came from little Imp, you are overmatched." Dr. Fate challenged.

"Over matched am I? Was that a short joke! Oh, it's on now!" Mxyzptlk snarled, and it was well and truly on.

Red bolts of chaos magic shot from Mxyzptlk 's hands, only to be blocked by Dr. Fate's golden shield.

"Continue the spell to cast the Chaos agent back into limbo, I'll handle the Imp." Dr. Fate commanded quickly of John Zatarra.

"Handle me will you?! I'll handle you!" Mxyzptlk shouted, and suddenly another ten hands and arms shot out of the chaos imp's body, shredding their way out of the imps house coat before enlarging and trying to snatch Dr. Fate out of the air.

It became a game of cat and mouse as Dr. Fate disappeared with a flash of the symbol of a glowing ethereal Ankh every time Mxyzptlk 's hands tried to grab the illusive Fate. And around the two supremely powerful magic users magic coalesced and launched itself at the other. From Mxyzptlk flashes of multicolored magic were shot at Dr. Fate, only to be blocked time and time again by glowing shields, or were met by glowing beams of energy, or golden lightning that was sent back by the sorcerer of Order..

"Hold still will you!" Mxyzptlk cursed.

"But I don't want to get tentacle loving! Now don't get me wrong, its fine for some, but I'm happy with my girls." Xander quipped loudly as he still struggled to fight off the never ending waves of chaos tentacles that groped for him out of the dimensional tear.

"I wasn't talking to you Xander. Stand Still and take your fate like a mortal, Fate. I promise not to hurt you… Much." Mxyzptlk cursed as one of his chaos magic beams missed Dr. Fate entirely and turned the house behind Dr. Fate into a giant chicken that was roosting atop golden eggs.

Spells shot each way, and it was looking pretty direr for Xander, as Dr. Fate matched the fifth dimensional imp spell for spell.

A sudden explosion of sound and fury vaporized the large metal gates at the edge of the square with a loud. "KABOOM!" The hidden portal into the Hidden City was breached with an explosive fireball whose force sent magical citizens tumbling and crying out in pain as several were immolated by the flames.

Jumping through the hidden entrance into the city center came Jägermonsters in armor glowing with protective runes.

Four of the Jäger magical troopers plowed through the opening into the Hidden City, only for one of them to get hit with a blast of force that sent him flying backwards and out the opening just as Alec Holland entered and ducked the Jägermonster that flew over his head.

"HELP!" Xander yelped again, hoping that the new explosion outside his shield was somebody who wouldn't just stand there and watch him get molested by chaos tentacles.

Alec heard Xander's yelp and growled while throwing his hand forward, causing a wall of greenery to spring forward and block a fireball that had been heading right towards him. Dressed in a his commissar's uniform, the former Swamp Thing's long coat swirled around him as he yelled back through the portal, "The Leviathan is here and under attack! Kill all who stand in your way, but spare innocents who don't engage you, the Leviathan may want prisoners."

Wonder Woman and Poison Ivy stepped through the portal, a grim scowl on their faces, a golden shield on one of Wonder Woman's arms and her sword in the other while Ivy sported a commissar's uniform that form fit and hugged her body in red and green leather.

"Agreed," Wonder Woman added, "but try and spare any who are not involved."

"Agreed." Alec answered while dodging a lightning bolt that hit a Jäger and sent the trooper to the ground in convulsions as the energy wasn't fully absorbed by the armor.

"Zat tickles." The Jäger laughed in between coughs as the lightning grounded itself into the cobblestones and the glowing green runes on its armor smoked as they bled off the extra energy. The Jäger pushed himself back up its feet and re-entered the fight.

Alec growled, the only entrance into the city was through the one portal and troops were stacking up on the other side of the portal, no doubt causing an international incident with Turkey if nothing else.

Magic blasted a second Jägermonster a step back towards the portal as the runes on the Jäger's armor flared bright green, causing the spell to slide past the armored trooper to catch a building on fire behind the trooper as the Nth Metal inscribed armor deflected most of the attack.

"They have armor! Use physical attacks or indirect attacks." A tall black shaman magic user commanded before holding his hand in front of his mouth and blowing a breath that stirred the air into a hurricane force wind that threatened to pick Alec off his feet.

"ROOTS!" Alec yelled as he caught ahold of Ivy who had been picked up into the air by the blast, and they both rooted their feet into the ground as woody vines exploded from their feet and twined around their legs before shooting out of the ground to catch and ground the troopers around them while Wonder Woman took shelter behind her shield and stomped her feet and dug her heels into the stone street.

"Open Fire!" Ivy Yelled at the troopers around her as she grabbed onto Alec's shoulder and pulled him down behind Alec's short wall of thorns just in time to dodge a fireball that would have taken off his head.

Laser fire erupted from the troopers and they crouched to try and aim through the wind blasting into their faces. Laser fire was exchanged with magical blasts as stones the size of basketballs and spears of ice began to pelt their armor and drive them back.

Alec looked to Ivy and Ivy looked back at Alec as they crouched behind their protective barricade, twigs, branches and leaves showering down around them as their barrier was slowly whittled away.

Ivy Smirked, and then Alec smiled, and then they hugged.

Giant trees erupted from the ground like an instant forest, throwing sorcerers, wizards and witches in every direction as entire buildings were split in half by trees the size grain silos suddenly sprouting up; giving the Leviathan's forces trying to enter the portal a few seconds respite to move more forces into the Hidden city.

"For the Emporer! For The Leviathan! Charge!" Alec Shouted as he and Ivy stood up holding each other's hand, and with a wave of his and Ivy's free hands the last remaining portions of the thorny barrier shot outwards as explosion of thorns before Alec charged forward with Wonder Woman and Ivy by his side. Behind him, Jägermonsters, Valkyries and black and red robed war mages of the Empire of The Leviathan shoved their way into the breach through the only portal gate and into the Hidden City.

* * *

Everything had been so simple in John Zatarra's mind when he had agreed to Dr. Fate's request to banish the Chaos Agent to another dimension. Fate and Zatarra had worked together before to destroy magical monstrosities. Together they had cast Demons back to hell, fought off dimension devouring beings from outside of reality and sealed off ancient evils that had tried to take over the world. What was one agent of Chaos versus the power of John Zatarra and Dr. Fate?

No, John had been convinced that he was doing the right thing, especially since said Agent of Chaos, Alexander Harris, had dared to sleep with his daughter. Alexander wasn't good enough for Zatanna; then again, no man was good enough for Zatanna as far as John Zatarra was concerned. Add to that the fact that Xander had invaded the Hidden City and was immune to the direct effects of magic, well it meant that Xander was a threat to the continued superiority and protection of the Homo Magus population that John led.

Xander had to be destroyed, and everything had been going as planned even to the point where Zatanna was safe back in Gotham City while her father cleaned up her mess and protected his people. John would do anything to protect his people, to protect his daughter, and if it just happened to allow him to smite the man who had sullied his daughter, then all the better.

Those had been John's thoughts and beliefs up until Xander had started fighting off the tentacles of the monstrosities that threatened to tear the man apart. John felt a moment of compassion for Alexander as the young man yelped and begged for help. However, Dr. Fate's steady presence and comments about the Chaos Agent's lying to try and get John to let him go, well Alexander's apparent lies were shoved down into the cold dark place in John's soul where he pushed away his emotions when he had to do something he thought was for the greater good no matter how abhorrent.

Yes, as far as John was concerned, everything was going perfectly… Right up until the point where armed soldiers burst through the secret portal between the Hidden City and the real world and created a barrier of earth magic.

Although, it wasn't the breach of his city's defenses or even the use of earth magic that caused fear to creep up John's back. No, he was still confident that he was doing the right thing, and for a moment there he believed he was only facing some allies of the Agent of Chaos.

No, what scared the piss out of John was that he heard the invaders bellow that John and his people had captured The Leviathan, the illusive ruler of the Empire of The Leviathan, the ruler of the largest and most feared military force in the world. It was at that point that John Zatarra put two and two together and figured out that Alexander Harris, the Chaos Agent was The Leviathan. He had made a tactical mistake… a big tactical mistake that was only drilled home more as he recognized the woman who used her golden shield to block several spells before using said magical shield like a battering ram to create a larger beachfront for The Leviathan's forces to enter.

And enter the forces of The Leviathan did as they poured through the gate in a steady run that saw more and more enemy piled up in the breach as each second ticked by.

"Keep up the shield on the Chaos Agent! I'll hold off the invaders." John yelled and released his hold on the portal and turned his attention to the attackers.

John picked up his bejeweled cane that he used as an arcane staff and slammed it on the cobblestoned streets causing a tidal wave of stone to erupt on a collision course with the invading force; his hope being to fling them invaders back through the entrance to the city.

Behind John, now uncontrolled by either Dr. Fate or John Zatarra, the portal to the planes of Limbo did not shut as it was supposed to, but rather began to grow and stretch downwards to slowly try and swallow up Xander.

Wonder Woman bashed a male magic user in the head with her shield and used the flat of her blade to knock aside a spell that melted the stone at her feet where it hit. She had a mere second to feel a rumble at her feet before Diana was blasted backwards through the air and shoved backwards by a solid wall of stone.

"Arggh!" Diana screamed in pain as the magically propelled stone blasted into her ribs, only to have the pain suddenly vanish as the wall of stone disintegrated and Diana found herself rolling across the cobblestones until she stopped when she ran into somebody's shins.

Looking up at the person who had stopped her tumble, Diana was surprised to see a feminine hand reaching down to help her up… the hand of Circe the Sorceress whose other hand was pointed forward and was glowing green where it had just stopped the tidal wave of stone.

"Come Princess, now is not the time to be lying around. You're betrothed needs us." Circe stated with a smirk on her face. However Circe's smirk disappeared as she looked up and saw the tear in reality growing towards Xander, and between Circe and the trapped Xander stood John Zatarra glowing with power.

Circe helped Wonder Woman to her feet just to be shoved to the side by Wonder Woman.

Circe snarled but let the snarl trail off when she saw a smoking mystical fire still burning on the outside rim of Diana's shield.

Circe looked to Diana, and gave Wonder Woman a small smile and a nod which was returned in kind. Then both women turned toward John and attacked.

John spun in circles, to quickly spin up blades of red energy that blasted forwards towards Wonder Woman and Circe while at the same time blocking energy blasts from the witch while he used his staff to physically deflect Wonder Woman's sword and shield.

All around them the battle grew larger as a squad of Valkyries entered the city and took to the sky to bombard the magical forces from the air. Soon the magic users were mounted upon flying carpets, brooms and elemental constructs and bringing the battle to the sky where the Valkyries and magic users exchanged laser and electrical blasts versus magic and elemental forces.

"Use the natural elements!" John bellowed to his people as he locked his staff with Wonder Woman's sword and shield, magical trinkets glowing on his wrists and his tie-pin to lend him enough strength to match the magically empowered Wonder Woman. "They are partially immune to magic, but can be attacked by the elements!" John yelled out as he dodged to the side to miss a blast of arcane energy from Circe. Still, the command worked as the tide of incoming troops was almost immediately stymied as the several thousand magic users focused the power of the elements at the entrance to their city.

Meteor showers seemed to appear out of thin air to bombard the invading host, only shielded by glowing black and golden force fields cast by spells from The Leviathan's war mages. Necromantic energy shot back and forth across the field of battle as the life force was sucked out of a Jäger by an enemy sorcerer, only for the sorcerer's head to be disintegrated in a green blast of ectoplasmic fury that left behind nothing but a smoking skull. Spells shot back and forth as tidal waves of energy, water, wind and fire battered the encroaching host of The Leviathan, slowing the invasion force to a crawl or even backwards towards the portal.

The forces of The Leviathan were backed up at the portal and couldn't add new reinforcements as golems of stone and fire elementals moved forward to pound on the shields of the Leviathan's War Mages. Alec and Ivy caused vines to erupt from the ground to entangle Magi and pull them into the ground or slice through them with thorns, and Ivy even managed to cause one of the attacking earth elementals to sprout flowers of every kind before the elemental turned around and attacked the Magi who had summoned it. Still, it wasn't enough to enlarge the breach into the Hidden City. Plasma rounds from Toastmaster 4000's and assault rifle rounds from the Jägermonsters were blocked by kinetic shields or spells that matched the Toastmaster plasma rounds with spears of ice.

Dr. Fate and Mr. Mxyzptlk were evenly matched also, for Dr. Fate was probably the only magic user on the planet that could go toe to toe with an Lord of Chaos and win, and Mxyzptlk was just a bit weaker than a Lord of Chaos even if the variety and craziness of Mxyzptlk 's spells made them hard to block. Already several blocked spells had turned bystanders into giant purple bananas, a tiger was quoting Shakespeare's Macbeth at one side of the square, and the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man was currently throwing flaming marshmallow poo at a crowd of homo magi that were attacking him with fireballs. All of this was going on while Xander was still fighting off tentacles and getting more and more scarred as the shield around him hadn't dropped and the rip in the sky above him was growing closer.

This is when the situation went from bad to worse.

"Damn It! Stay Still Fate so I can blast you into last week." Mxyzptlk yelled in disgust as he hacked and then spat a wad of spit at Dr. Fate, the spit again hitting Dr. Fate's large magical golden shield spell before splashing to the roof that was directly underneath where Fate was flying; eating through the roof and causing screams to issue from inside the building as the building suddenly grew legs and a face and started walking off down the street.

"Be Gone Imp! You are not of the stature needed to best Fate." Dr. Fate chided Mxyzptlk .

"AHHH! ANOTHER SHORT JOKE! LETS SEE HOW YOU LIKE BEING SHORT!" Mxyzptlk lost his temper and glowed bright blue before putting his hands forward and roaring as magic exploded at Dr. Fate…

The magic shot at Dr. Fate.

And Dr. Fate disappeared into a glowing Ankh, causing the beam of magic to miss entirely and travel down to the street where it blasted into Circe and Wonder Woman who were tangling with John Zatarra.

John Zatarra lurched forward as his counter swing missed Wonder Woman entirely and caused him to spin in a circle.

John looked around, only to blink as neither Circe nor Wonder Woman were anywhere to be seen. That is, they weren't seen until he looked down and saw two plastic action figures in the shape of Wonder Woman and the sorceress Circe.

Mxyzptlk was so startled by what he had accidentally done, that he had missed, so startled that he didn't have time to react when Dr. Fate appeared behind him in a flash of yellow and bound the fifth dimensional imp in glowing gold chains that caused Mxyzptlk to fall to the cobblestones of the Hidden City's market about five feet from where Xander was imprisoned.

"That will be enough from you Imp." Dr. Fate stated as he started to float down. "Now watch as your champion is banished to Limbo."

Dr. Fate raised his hand towards the still trapped Xander, and the rip in the sky opened up like a mouth to swallow Xander.

The portal drew closer to Xander and thousands of tentacles burst forward and hooked about his limbs and started to pull him in.

'_Game over Man! It's Game over!'_ Xander's voice of Insanity wailed in his mind as Insanity dropped to its knees in its bellbottoms and tie died outfit and cried.

The voice of Reason hugged Xander's libido in fear as even the Primal side of Xander cringed back from the destruction staring them in the face as Xander struggled to get free of the tentacles that had now fully wrapped around him and pulled him upwards towards the chaos realm that would utterly destroy his very soul if he was exposed to it.

An inch from the portal, Xander shut his eyes as everything around him suddenly went quiet.

A second passed.

And then a few more seconds, before Xander hesitantly opened his eyes to see that he was still dangling in the air, and that the tentacles were stone still and utterly not moving but still wrapped around him fully.

It was at that moment that Xander realized that he was still in the Hidden City, but that every other person who was present was frozen solid except for their eyes.

And that's when he heard a voice that caused absolute fear to course through him due to its inflection and power, yet at the same time a trickle of hope began to rise in him.

"WHAT… ARE… YOU… DOING… TO… MY… BOYFRIEND!?" A female voice screamed, and Xander looked to his right to see a drop dead gorgeous blonde supermodel of a woman floating in the air in nothing but black lingerie.

Golden blonde curled hair floated on the wind and creamy skin covered what could only be said to be a near perfect face that was situated above a slender neck that curved down before a slender yet curvy figure which showed two bulging breasts that were barely contained and covered by the straps of her black teddy. The silky fabric covered her chest, and her arms were crossed under her breasts as she gave a steamed look towards the direction of where Xander was in the portal as legs that seemed to go on forever and were encased in silk stockings held up by garters led down to very high black platform heels with which she was tapping her foot in frustration.

"Honey, I can totally explain!" the little imp Mr. Mxyzptlk whined in a begging tone of voice.

"You better Mr! I was waiting in bed expecting Snoo Snoo and you told me you had to run to the other dimension for a moment. A moment, as in One!" The woman stated as she floated past Dr. Fate, totally ignoring the sorcerer as she floated down to her bound boyfriend.

They made a weird couple, but Xander couldn't fault Mxyzptlk for his choice in girlfriends. Still he couldn't understand what she saw in the short little imp since she stood a good four feet taller than Mxyzptlk.

'_Hmm, if that's what you get for being an agent of chaos, maybe it wouldn't be so bad being in the realms of Limbo. Would be a nice addition for the Harem.' _Xander's libido chimed in before realizing that it was still hugging Reason, then both voices dropped their arms from around each other and coughed and mumbled as they scooted away from each other in embarrassment.

'_Now is so not the time Libido.'_ Xander thought quickly, just as the Blonde turned angry eyes towards Xander.

"Hey, keep your thoughts out of the gutter unless you'd like me to turn you into a pile of sewage slime for all eternity." The anonymous women, uh, thing, up super sexy powerful being snapped at Xander before turning back to address Mxyzptlk.

"Now what is your excuse for ditching me to come play with these mortals?" She demanded.

"Sweety, it's not like that at all." Mxyzptlk begged from his place lying on his side on the ground, still stuck in the golden chains. "I did it all for you smookey wookums, I know how much you enjoy watching the mortal Xander on our date nights, and I didn't want him to be banished where we couldn't enjoy his escapades, my pummy umpkin" The imp tried to explain.

The imp's gorgeous girlfriend blinked once, and then twice at Mxyzptlk 's explanation. "You mean that's Xander?" She asked.

Mxyzptlk just nodded hesitantly, not sure how to react to his girlfriend's question.

"SQUEEEEEEEE!" The girl squealed in joy, releasing a squee so loud that all windows within a 18.34 foot range randomly shattered, melted, and then turned into stained glass designs that would make Salvador Dali envious of their weird patterns.

The girl bent down and hugged Mxyzptlk to her breasts, burying the little imps head between her large mounds as his golden chains disappeared as she banished them with less than a thought.

"You're so good to me pumpky wumpky." She stated as she set the imp down.

Xander blinked, and then suddenly found himself standing on the cobblestoned street with Wonder Woman by his side, so was Artemis, Janna and Selena for that matter, and Tara and Dora were right next to them, all were blinking at suddenly being where they were. Xander didn't know if he was more surprised about the girl being there, or the fact that the shield around him had been banished, that the tentacles were gone, that the armor on his face had disengaged, or that the rent in the sky leading to the planes of Limbo was totally gone.

"Here." The girl said as she handed Xander a picture of him standing beside his girls with the blonde girl in the picture, and then a pen appeared in his hand. Xander looked down at the picture and realized that he had never taken that picture, even more so, the Xander in the picture winked up at the real Xander.

"Can you give me your autograph?" The girl asked hopefully.

'_Xander, when the girl who can read your mind, banish dimensional portals, freeze Dr. Fate while at the same time transport people from one dimension to another asks you to sign an autograph, you smile and say YES!'_ The voice of Reason advised Xander in his head.

Xander blinked and looked back at the girl blankly and blinked once before he started to nod vigorously and he gave her a very big smile.

"Yeah sure you betcha, absolutely, Yes, Yep, yes, anything you want!" Xander smiled and nodded very quickly.

The girls next to Xander looked at him and then where they were, then at everybody that was frozen around them including Dr. Fate. They all smiled and nodded quickly also.

"SQUEEEEEE!" The Girl squealed loudly and hugged Xander to her chest, and suddenly half of the hidden city turned into a tropical paradise including palm trees and little monkeys swinging from them.

'_Don't think dirty thoughts, don't think dirty thoughts.'_ Xander thought to himself as he awkwardly patted the girl on the back as she hugged him tightly in her lingerie while he was surrounded by his girls.

'_I agree.'_ The voice of libido chipped in, causing all the other voices to pause, blink, and then turn to look at the voice of Xander's libido.

'_What?'_ Libido questioned with a shrug, _'I admit that I think with my dick, and I'd like to keep it that way. I'm not about to scream HAREM when the girl hugging us could make us no longer count as a he, but rather a she or even worse, a neuter with nothing but a thought.'_

The other voices in Xander's mind crossed their legs subconsciously and Xander cringed as the girl stopped hugging him.

"Hee hee, you're so funny to listen in on Xander. Would you please make the autograph out to 'Gsptlsnz, your number one 9th dimensional fan." The girl, now acknowledged as Mxyzptlk's even higher dimension girlfriend requested politely while bouncing up and down on her toes; something that had Xander doing matrix algebra calculations and designing new chemical protein bonds in his head, anything to keep him from looking at the physics problem of the effect of upward vectored force versus gravity and their relation to two large bouncing breast.

"Absolutely. Whatever you think is breast…" Xander started to say, only to catch an elbow to the ribs from Selena when he misspoke.

"I mean Best! Best! Whatever you think is best!" Xander quickly sputtered in wide eyed fear as he quickly scribbled in the statement and his signature on the picture. The girls gathered around Xander all gave Selena a wicked smile, which she returned, as it appeared Catwoman was going to fit in well with the rest of Xander's other girls just fine.

'_How the hell is she reading our mind!? It baffles all of my calculations, and we already know that the Nth Metal stumps Mxyzptlk, so why is she still able to affect us? Or better yet, how is she able to affect Dr. Fate and everybody else when Mxyzptlk was on an equal footing with Dr. Fate.' _The Heterodyne personality in Xander's head looked frazzled as he quickly scribbled calculations on a chalkboard. _'Carry the zero, cross with Z over Y to the square of epsilon… It Make s No Logical Sense!' _Xander's inner Heterodyne finally threw his chalk in the air and started tearing at his hair.

"He he, silly boy. Since when have logic and women ever gone together?' Miss Gsptlsnz giggled before patting his cheek and sashayed back over to her boyfriend Mxyzptlk.

'_She's right! That way lays Insanity! Whatever you do, don't try and figure out women! Even I'm not that crazy.' _Xander's voice of Insanity stated, strangely sober for a moment before shrugging and then starting to chase multicolored rabbits around Xander's brain while wielding a sledgehammer.

Gsptlsnz picked her boyfriend up off the ground and snuggled the imp between her breasts with Mr. Mxyzptlk's feet floating free from the ground.

"Don't hurt yourself Xander, I get way too much enjoyment out of watching your everyday life and wouldn't want you to fry your brain. Suffice it to say, the female of the species is always more dangerous than the male." Gsptlsnz said as an evil alien grin spread across her face from ear to ear, showing that though she might look human, she was anything but.

Still, her comments had Xander's betrothed, girlfriend, and mistresses looking very smug as they nodded in agreement.

"Come on Snuggy wuggy, it's time for Snoo Snoo." Gsptlsnz stated as she squeezed Mxyzptlk between her breasts to the point where you couldn't even see the imp's face.

Her only reply from the 5th dimensional imp was a big thumbs up that Mxyzptlk gestured in Xander's direction.

"Bye Bye Xander, Bye Girls, make sure you have Xander take you out for an expensive date for giving you a scare and getting himself kidnapped." Gsptlsnz commanded before turning to look at Dr. Fate and the still stone still Homo Magi and army of The Leviathan; Myxzptlk was still clenched between her breasts, even with her hands free as she snapped her fingers it looked like the imp was magnetically attached to her chest and not going anywhere soon.

"As for you, no messing with My Xander and his Crazy Sparky Science Show." With that, she snapped her fingers and a bright flash of light appeared.

After Xander blinked his eyes and was able to see clearly again, it was clear that the battle was over.

Dr. Fate was gone, and the only thing left was his golden helmet which sat slightly smoking on the ground. The thousands of Homo Magi that had been battling Xander's forces were all knocked out and laid unconscious on the ground, and those who had been injured or killed in the battle were fully healed no matter whose side of the battle they were on; only Xander's forces were still awake though.

Xander looked around and smiled before turning to face his girls, only to be confronted with the combined frowns and angry looks of six women.

"WHAAAT?" Xander questioned defensively as suddenly his danger sense was tingling.

'_Don't make any sudden movements. They can sense fear.'_ Strangely enough it was the Primal voice that was giving Xander advice. Then again, Hyenas were a matriarchal pack animal, so it only made sense that the Primal would recognize the danger Xander was in, even if he didn't know why he was in trouble.

Selena waltzed up to Xander and looked up at Xander with a frown and poked him in the chest. "You ditched me on our date. I demand an expensive date like Gsptlsnz suggested." Selena commanded imperiously before crossing her arms and glaring up at him.

"But, but, Wait a second. You make it sound like it was my fault I was kidnapped by these crazy magic users!" Xander tried to defend himself using logic.

Logic that Selena expertly turned back around on Xander. "Did you or did you not leave me standing in an alley behind your Sparkbucks in Gotham City?" Selena demanded, again poking Xander in the chest to drill home her point.

"Well yeah, but it's not like I did it on purpose." Xander attempted to explain in a reasonable manner.

Xander's reasonable manner was ignored and promptly trumped by Selena playing the emotional danger card, "Are you saying you don't want to take me on an expensive date?" She questioned with the slightest quirk of an eyebrow.

"Yeah, don't you want to go on nice dates with us?" The rest of Xander's girls chorused in together.

'_Help!'_ Xander mentally pleaded with his other voices in his head as his eyes darted from one glaring woman to the next.

'_Nope, that looks like a check and mate to me if I ever saw one.'_ Xander's voice of Reason responded with a definitive nod.

'_Wait, you're the voice of reason. Don't you have something that I could reasonably explain this away without it being my fault?' _Xander begged his inner voice.

'_No. And why are you asking me? Do I look like the voice of insanity to you? Just bow your head say yes dear and take them out on a nice date. Now get out of here, I have to go grab some Twinkies to see if I can't tempt your now battered sense of masculinity out of the dark corner where he went to go cry.' _Reason stated definitively.

"Yes Dears, I would love to take you out on expensive dates." Xander said with a sigh as he bowed his head to the inevitable.

"As it should be." Selena answered with a smirk as she patted Xander's cheek before taking him by the Elbow and leading him towards the girls as they all gathered around Xander and fussed over him while herding him over and around the unconscious magic users and out of the Hidden City.

This left Alec and Ivy as the highest ranking commanders of the remaining forces inside the Hidden City.

"Well then, I guess we will just gather up all of the prisoners and clean up everything to bring back to the Arcane University." Alec stated as he turned to a sweaty but still beautiful Pamela Isly.

"No, you are going to clean up here with the forces and I'm going to go take a bath and clean up for the date you are going to take me out on later tonight." Poison Ivy stated with a smirk as she leaned forward and kissed Alec on the lips briefly before smirking and sashaying out the exit to the city.

Alec's shoulders slumped as he replied, "Yes dear." For Alec was connected to the Green, the power of Mother Nature. He'd always known that the female was the more dangerous of the species.

* * *

**AN: Short? Yes, yes it was compared to my other chapters. However I figured you would want to have something since it had been so long since I wrote. Did I guess wrong? Real life is still kicking my arse, but I felt like writing while I was stuck on a plane for several hours today. That said, I've had complaints about my uber long chapters in the past, and I had thought about putting in the date scenes in this chapter but this really was a good closing spot for that last arc. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it, and I'm glad to get a bit of writing done again. Let me know your thoughts, could use some good date ideas as I have some of them and purposes for some of them, but could always use the help. Remember, Xander needs a good date for Artemis, Wonder Woman, Selena (Catwoman), Janna Kalderash (aka Jenny Calendar) as well as Tara and Dora. Points for originality, and if I use your idea or part of it I will mention you in the notes of the next chapter. Cheers! **


	45. Chapter 45: A Day At The Fair

Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

**AN: Been a while since I wrote this. I kind of got fed up with the wankers who were going all emo about Xander being true to form from canon BTVS when it comes to dealing with strong women as well as him not being invincible; and frankly I didn't need to deal with bloody flamers while dealing with the shite life was throwing me. First, one instance where he doesn't tell the women, "this is how it will be and you will like it" does not make Xander pussy whipped, read the rest of the story. Second, News flash sparky, Xander isn't a God, and there really are Gods in the DC universe; the type of Gods that can say "And let there be light" or "let there be evil nasty cottage cheese meatloaf (without meat)" and it will be so. [Yeah, the cottage cheese meatloaf is a painful memory from my childhood… mother went on a vegetarian kick… brrr, scary] All that is to say, this is my story, I write it for my enjoyment when I enjoy writing and only then, and you get to enjoy/be-tortured by it if you choose to read it. **

**So now we are on to the dating scene… It's time for a little Romance (in my head I typed "Romance" with a Latin language accent, just to make it sexier. You're thinking about it now aren't you? ;-) Ha! Go me!*) After this we get to see some major action and one of the main ideas that led to this story; the other being Xander going to hell and that part of the story arch which we already saw. But for now, we go back to the zaniness. Cheers!**

* * *

_'Thought'_

"Speech"

/foreign language/

**Chapter 45: A Day At The Fair, And A Date With A Clown**

"What's the difference between a dead cat in the road and a dead clown in the road?"  
"There are skid marks in front of the cat."

A witty little tune played on the television news network showing the logo before the screen panned over to the broadcasters. The television showed two brightly smiling news reporters reviewing that day's top stories with a computer animated graphic of a spinning globe of earth in the background.

The man, whose teeth were stunningly white and sparkling, spoke to the camera, "Today in international news, the nation of Turkey surrendered to The Empire of The Leviathan before war could break out. Sources tell us that forces loyal to The Leviathan invaded northeastern Turkey early yesterday and locals are telling us that they heard explosions and sounds of fighting shortly before a long line of personnel and items were moved out of the area and returned to the lands controlled by The Empire. Locals also state that the area where the Leviathan's troops were active is allegedly haunted and known to locals as an area where people tend to disappear if they get too close.

Representatives of Turkey and The Empire gathered at the League of Nations in New York City where The Crimson Lady and Turkey's Prime Minister met. The talks were mediated by Queen Bee of Biyala. Her recent work with the terrorist nation of Quatar, and the nations of North Korea and Myanmar led North Korea, Quatar and Myanmar to all open their borders, pledge to end their support of terrorism and nuclear aspirations, and apply to join The Empire of The Leviathan; sources point to those countries receiving a positive response from The Empire of The Leviathan."

The image on the screen flashed to show The Crimson Lady in her body covering blood-red long dress shaking hands with the president of Turkey as the leader of Biyala stood between the two with hands on both party's' shoulders while you could clearly see the smile on the Queen Bee and Turkish President's faces; the Crimson Lady's face being shielded from view by her crimson colored helmet.

The picture on the screen then panned back to the two news reporters while the man turned in his seat to address the female reporter.

"It truly is amazing Jane." The man said, his hair perfectly coifed and smile still painted on his face as the blonde female reporter nodded with a smile and both turned back to the camera as the man continued to report, "The meeting between the Leader of Turkey and The Crimson Lady took approximately an hour before the parties emerged smiling to notify the press that insurgents in Turkey had attempted to kidnap and assassinate The Leviathan, thus necessitating the invasion of Turkish territory. As a show of good faith and to not go to war, Turkey has surrendered to The Empire and is seeking to join the growing superpower. Reports coming in from the streets of Turkey's capital show people celebrating in the streets as free health care personnel from The Empire began distributing The Leviathan's panacea."

The images on the screen flipped to that of lines of ill and infirmed moving into a tent before exiting a moment later fully healed. A patient in a wheelchair with an IV bag, bald head and terribly emaciated, showing the classic signs of somebody fighting cancer and receiving chemotherapy, entered the tent only to exit a moment later crying with joy and walking; a full head of hair and a lot more flesh on her body. The second image was of a family pushing wheelchairs containing their stooped, frail, and elderly parents into the tent, only to have the elderly couple exit a moment later looking decidedly fuzzy and blue, but young, and staring at each other in love while dancing the tango as the family that had formerly been their caretakers clapped and cheered.

"Yes Bob, it truly is amazing." The female reporter responded before addressing the camera. "Apparently spring is in the air, and with it peace, love and joy is spreading across the Middle East and Asia as terrorists, freedom fighters, insurgents and their enemies have come out of their caves and hide outs to declare an end to their violent tactics."

The picture switched to show Osama Bin Laden, a Jewish Rabi and a Catholic Priest all walk into a bar together.

No punch line or punches followed, the three were just there for lunch to celebrate settling their differences peacefully and agreeing to disagree on who was the One True God but realizing that each individual had value. It then showed Saddam Hussein of Iraq, a Sunni Muslim, shaking hands and embracing Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran, who was a Shia Muslim; both formerly enemies. The television then displayed images coming from further east on the border between Pakistan and India, as soldiers from both sides threw off helmets and laid down weapons before they crossed the border to meet and share food as "spontaneous" peace broke out.

The screen turned back to show the two news announcers, and the woman continued to speak, "In other news, billionaire Lex Luthor announced that he will be running for President of the United States…"

"CLICK"

Igor, the chief minion to The Leviathan/Xander/Alexander Heterodyne/The Grey Knight/Mad Scientist and Major Spark Extraordinaire! (the capital letters and exclamation point are important*), turned off the holographic news display with a push of a button on his data pad before turning to address his Master; Xander.

"Sir, it appears that your minion virus has continued its spread throughout the world and all is going according to plan in the United States. Violence is at an all-time low… which is kind of a shame actually. Your troops are a bit restless, and the Jägermonsters and Valkyries are complaining that they all didn't get to engage in the latest scuffle. Who knows when they may spontaneously break out in scuffles… well, more scuffles than usual I mean." The Chief minion waxed sadly about the decreased possibilities of bloodshed and pillaging that came about with the advent of peace. That said, it was his master that was gaining control over the world, so there were still reasons to be happy.

"That's nice Igor." Xander stated as he hummed to himself, not really paying attention to what Igor was saying as Xander's tongue stuck out of the side of his mouth while his hands were busy attaching wires to thick smoky glass that surrounded the gold helmet of the former Dr. Fate. The glass enclosure was located in an alcove of rock that was part of the wall of a cavernous subterranean structure far beneath the mountain that housed the magical academy for Xander's empire.

Xander pulled out a soldering gun from his back pocket and welded the copper wire to the copper base of the glass where the assembly was mounted into the rock.

"And when our powers combine… mwa ha ha ha ha…" Xander chuckled darkly to himself before continuing to hum a strange discordant tune that seemed to make the walls bend and flex as if reality itself was being stretched.

And with a final attachment of copper wires to the glass, Xander flipped a switch and smiled as a golden glow shot up the wire and disappeared into the wall.

"Come on baby! Come on! Work for me!" Xander shouted, a maniacal smile on his face, his hair out of place and sticking on end as some sort of green goop had been neglectfully wiped through it accidentally.

There was a "SNAP!" then a "Fizzle!" then a "FOOOOM!" sound rocked the room and shook dust from the ceiling as gold Egyptian hieroglyphs, Kryptonian script, and binary and mathematical equations lit up and spread across the room, painting the walls ceiling and floor in swirls of archaic symbols mixed with matrix and geometric mathematical formulas; a strange perversion of science and magic.

"IT LIVES! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Xander yelled to the ceiling, his fists raised in triumph as he cackled madly. Behind Xander Igor joined his master in insane laughter as the power of Xander's Spark called forth the minion's urge to follow where The Heterodyne led.

"BWA HA HA HA HA HA!" Both laughed together for several minutes, only to suddenly stop as quickly as they had started.

"Well done Sir." Igor stated as he moved up to stare around his master's shoulder and look at the helmet of Dr. Fate that was now sealed in its glass, metal and stone enclosure. "Pardon my inability to follow your genius sir, but what exactly have you completed here?"

Xander turned to Igor with a smile and shrugged, "Actually, I'm not sure." Xander's smile grew larger before he continued.

"I actually was just trying to see if I could pervert the powers of order with SCIENCE." You could hear the capitalization of the word "Science" when Xander stated it. Xander turned back to look at the glassed structure as the helmet of Dr. Fate glowed bright gold for a moment as if objecting to Xander's statement about perverting the powers of order; causing the wires and glyphs on the walls to grow brighter.

"Well…" Xander started mumbling off quadratic equations and string theory before speaking loud enough and slow enough for Igor to follow, "Basically you carry the zero then crossed the polarity, I used Nth metaled glass rather than leaded glass to contain and encapsulate the magic of the helmet, transformed it into pure chaotic energy which then transcends logic and is easier to use for SCIENCE. So if I follow this line of script over here…" Xander's voice paused as he traced his finger along a series of looping glowing symbols and numbers before continuing, "Then basically I think it's creating a ward that is invisibly protecting all of my territories from magical attack." At this point Xander scratched the back of his head and kind of blushed.

"Except, hmmm, does this symbol look like a Twinkie to you?" Xander paused and gestured for Igor to look at one of the glowing symbols he had etched into the wall.

Sure enough, the etching was a dead ringer for a Twinkie snack cake.

"Yes Sir." Igor replied in a monotone voice.

"Hmmm. Well I think I remember being hungry right about here." Xander quipped as he continued past the etching of the Twinkie. "It's not like it should affect the outcome too much."

* * *

Meanwhile, say about two minutes prior to Xander's conversation and exactly at the moment that Xander's newest mad experiment and perversion of reality initiated, women's panties across Xander's empire disappeared with a "POP!"

That would have been the end of the madness if the side effect had only affected the panties sitting peacefully and quietly tucked away, neatly folded in the Empire women's/female creatures boudoir's/lingerie/underwear drawers. No, the side effect of order magic, perverted by Science, and forced through an etching of the divine Twinkie (blessed be the Twinkie!) was that all panties disappeared; even the ones in use.

"Heyz! Doez you feelz a draft?" One pink furred and sharp toothed female Jägermonster turned and asked another as they stepped out of their barracks and into the hallway of Jäger-Mountain; the hollowed out facility where the majority of Xander's Jäger troopers were housed.

The second female Jäger, this one colored sky blue looked startled and turned to respond to the first, "Yez, Yez I do."

Both female Jägers immediately pulled out the waist bands of their pants and looked down to find that sure enough, they were suddenly sans panties.

This is right at the same time that screams of indignation rose from the women's barracks as a voice shouted loud enough to reverberate down the hall, "Myz Panties! Der Allz Gone!"

Things probably would have been just fine, if a group of male Jägerkin hadn't been walking by the hall just at that moment…

"Yerz panties arez gone? Mmmmm, datz Smexy!" One male Jäger leered at the two female Jägermonsters.

To make matters worse, a second male piped in with a smile, "I vonder ver zey all couldz be?"

The two female Jägermonsters released their hold on their pants and looked at each other startled as they both came to the same conclusion before yelling out in unison.

"DA BOYZ TOOKZ ZEM! ATTACKZ!" They yelled, the sheer power and anger of losing their frilly lacy silky things allowing the statement to reverberate throughout the entire mountain.

With that, the two female Jägermonsters attacked.

Then the rest of the female Jägermonsters boiled out of their barracks like a raging stampeding herd, a raging stampeding heard with super strength, claws and sharp pointy teeth. All of them hell bent on retribution on the panty thieves.

The violence quickly spread throughout the mountain in a display of fist-a-cuffs never before seen on planet earth as Jägers punched Jägers, and finally minions joined the fray as female minions also wanted in on attacking the panty thieves; besides, what minion doesn't love a good fight?

The combat spread out of the former country of Romania and the headquarters of The Empire as minions, Jägers and then Valkyries joined the rolling battle, and then bits of the battle rolled through open portals and spread to the other territories under Xander's control.

Legs were bit, noses were punched, privates were kicked, titties were twisted, male members of the empire found themselves being given wedgies and wishing that they also were without underwear, and all around pandemonium reigned as throughout Xander's widespread lands people grew smiles on their faces and jumped into the brawl no matter the age, gender or species.

And thus the first annual "Noz-Pantiez" Empire Wide Brawl began; an event that was later memorialized and celebrated every year to burn off some pent up aggression.

* * *

The cavern roof above Xander shook, and dust fell from the ceiling as Xander and Igor looked up, and then back at each other before shrugging.

"It shouldn't be a problem. Not like anything bad could happen from it. I think my calculations of the effects are still good." Xander added as he went back to try and figure out what his mad genius had created.

"If my calculations had been off, all life on earth would have died in a fury of fission, fusion and reaction as matter turned to anti-matter… except for tapioca pudding, that would have turned into Greek yogurt and vice versa, but eh," Xander shrugged and smiled again, "You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. Perverting the nature of the world takes some risks, and besides, nothing stands in the way of SCIENCE!" Xander finished the last part by striking a dramatic pose, finger pointed to the air as the other hand rested on his hip, elbow cocked outwards while he smiled a huge mad scientist type smile.

Igor just nodded his head as if Xander had said the most normal and blasé statement ever, not a care in the world that they had just dodged death all because Xander had the urge to invent.

"Very good Sir. Will you be going on your date with Ms. Artemis and Diana now? I would suggest you clean up first." Igor suggested.

Xander looked down at his watch and realized what time it was. "Oh, I better hurry, don't want to be late for breakfast with the Diana and Artemis." He stated while running a hand through his hair, only to come away with his hand trailing viscous green goop.

"But I better clean up first." Xander unwittingly repeated exactly what his chief minion had just suggested. "Portal." Xander commanded, and disappeared through a black portal a moment later.

Igor just shook his head as a small smile crept across his face as he left the still glowing cavern. The masters were always so amusing. Able to take over the world and make the laws of nature cry for their mama, but would forget to wear pants if their minions didn't remind them.

* * *

Meanwhile, a westbound Sparkbucks truck exited the city limits of Gotham City and disappeared in a flash of light, only to appear again empty in New Mechanicsburg Montana where it was going to be recycled into scrap material; a new Sparkbucks coffee truck would take its place on the road as Xander's original Spark invented coffee machine replaced it. The driver sighed and popped his back as he shut down the truck and exited the cab, leaving the truck unlocked as he was just happy to be home in his little slice of crazy paradise that was the mountainous valley of Xander's first tribe of minions. After the driver had left, the truck remained silent, no movement was seen as the dawn was just breaking and the only sound was the breeze blowing down from the surrounding mountains as the sun began to rise over the valley.

That was, no sound until the Twinkie wrappers under the driver's bench moved; the prodigious pile left over from the driver's breakfast, lunch and dinner crinkled as a furry little head popped itself up and peaked out from under the chair.

"Squeaker Squeek Squeek Squeeken." The squirrel chittered excitedly, telling its brothers that they had arrived safely at the sanctuary and first bastion of Chaos for their Nut God.

The mangy squirrel pushed itself out of the wrappers, showing that it bore the pigeon bone of an unbeliever tied to its tale, its hair chewed away to show a mowhawk that ran down its back. Then with a mighty leap, the squirrel launched itself from the floor and up onto the dashboard as the sound of excited chitters and squeaks filtered out from the interior of the seat as several more squirrels and rats exited the confines of the bench and scurried up to join their brother in viewing the location of their pilgrimage.

There it was, the sun raising above the peaks back-lit the Heterodyne Chateau on its hill above the town, outlining the building in dim red light like some bloody halo or miasma that was creeping up from below and bounced off the mist that rose from the grass on the hill.

"SQUEEEEEE!" The squirrel shouted and bowed towards the vision on the hill.

Its squeak translating into, "Nuts For The Nut God! We set our sights upon his holy bastion of caryopsis. Let the divine provider of sustenance and all things nutty be praised brothers, for his word is law and his chaos will spread throughout our race so that he may be worshipped and praised by all that squeaks!" For the language of the rodents was surprisingly verbose and full of detail even in its brevity.

With that, the other rodents squeaked in joy as they jumped onto the handle of the door, freeing them to share the word of the Nut God to the unbelievers in the heart of Xander's original territory.

The rodent crusade had come to New Mechanicsburg.

* * *

A portal sprung into existence in a flash of blue light as Xander, Diana of Themyscira and Artemis of the Valkyries stepped out into the new morning light of the small Montana town. Colorful banners spanned the street broadcasting that a "SCIENCE Fair" was in going to be celebrated in town as vendors and shop fronts began to open for the day in the little town of New Mechanicsburg.

"Brrr, a bit cold." Diana, aka Wonder Woman when she was in uniform, commented while hugging herself in her thin coat, sweater and jeans as the early April morning chill of the mountains permeated the air; and especially since her body was more acclimated to the warm Caribbean temperatures of Paradise Island.

"Come on then." Xander smiled as her carefully put his arm around Diana, looped an arm around Artemis's waist, and steered them both towards the town's Diner. "Let's get you some hot chow and breakfast."

Artemis was busy looking around at the large metal gargoyle statutes, and then up at the banner.

"I think they spelled that sign wrong, "science" is all capitalized while they just capitalized the first letter of "fair."" The red head added while quirking an eyebrow at the sign.

Xander just smirked back, "Nope." He playfully popped the 'p' sound on "nope" before adding, "It's exactly as it should be. Now come on, freshest Sparkbucks in the world right this way." As he guided two of his five fiancés, and one girl friend, towards the diner.

Sure enough, a sign next to the door advertised, "New Mechanicsburg Diner! Home of Sparkbucks, the most perfect coffee in the world."

Of course, it was the sign posted in the glass window on the other side of the door that drew the girls' attention and made them question the sanity of eating at the establishment.

"Wanted, today's lunch special. Dead or Alive." The sign stated, showing a picture of a tuna-casserole that appeared to have spouted legs.

"Uh, Xander?" Artemis paused as her and Diana's eyebrows shot up and their eyes went large due to the sign.

Xander just smiled and opened the door before gently but firmly guiding the two into the diner. "Foe-get about it." Xander did his best New York style Italian accent and smirked as he led the girls into the surprisingly full diner given that it was only six thirty in the morning.

"Xander!" An little old blue-haired lady dressed in a road stop diner outfit came out and gave Xander a hug, Xander leaning down to kiss the lady on the cheek as if visiting his grandmother.

"Hi Gloria." Xander said hello to the owner of the little diner, as his memory supplied the name of the minion that was addressing him. All the other patron's in the diner turned in their seats and smiled towards their master, instinctually recognizing Xander as The Heterodyne.

"Oh and you brought your lady friends, good morning dears." The old woman gripped the hands of both Diana and Artemis and gave them a surprisingly strong squeeze considering she looked like she must be over 80 years old; that and both Diana and Artemis were either magically super strong or augmented by Science. "Aren't you two pretty." The old woman added, making both women blush as the diner's owner winked at Xander.

"As you can see we are a bit full, but I think that Butch and Dale over there were just chewing the flab a bit and can take their coffees with them." The old woman semi commanded two young men in their twenties who smiled and rose from the booth they were in and slightly bowed at the waist towards Xander and his girls as they gave up their booth for Xander.

Xander and the girls settled down on the red shiny vinyl seats, with the women on one side and Xander on the other, and before they could even ask for it steaming mugs of Sparkbucks coffee were on the table in front of them.

"Any of you folks want the Special?" Gloria offered.

Xander smirked as both Diana and Artemis seemed to turn a bit green in complexion.

"No thank you Gloria, I think we will all do the normal breakfast food and will share. Just bring out some eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes and waffles and we will eat what we like."

"Right away sugar." The waitress replied with a smile before heading back to work and leaving Xander, and two very relieved women, behind to chat.

Xander took a sip of his coffee and smirked over the top of his cup at the girls, "Enjoying yourselves on our date so far?" He questioned between sips.

Both women were still busy looking around the dinner as the patrons were a bit weird; a 70 something year old man in the corner had stacks of physics books set up next to his omelet, and across the table from the man, the man's three year old granddaughter sat on top of an even taller stack of college biology books and read through a high school math book on algebra. Outside the window a vendor pushed a cart by that was filled to the brim with professional grade Bunsen-burners and glassware, the flasks and vials were bubbling with multiple different colored fluids and the sign on the rolling cart stated, "Grow Your Own Monster."

"Xander, what is this place? Better yet, what is going on here?" Artemis finally answered his question with one of her own while drinking her coffee while pivoting her head around to take in the sights.

Xander shrugged and smiled as he set his coffee down, "This is New Mechanicsburg, and this was my first town. As for what is going on, well it's a science fair. We are testing out new fun events and games that will be included on the inter-dimensional city your tribe is moving into." Xander answered back, a twinkle in his eye as his words fully caught Artemis's attention.

Artemis was stunned, and a smile quickly grew across her face.

"It's done?" She posited.

"Yep." Xander quipped with a half smirk on his handsome face, "Your tribe of Valkyries will finally have a home of their own and will be able to move in tomorrow." He added.

"Squeee!" Artemis squealed in joy and launched over the table to hug Xander's neck; probably the first, last, and only time Artemis would ever make that sound in her life and one she would fiercely deny making if ever confronted with the fact.

Xander quickly used his super speed to balance his hot coffee and get it out of the way as he suddenly had his arms filled with squirming attractive redhead. A good thing too as he suddenly found his lips attached to Artemis's in a steamy kiss.

Finally they pulled apart, and Artemis rested her forehead against Xander's.

"Thank you." She stated quietly before pausing and searching for the right words. "You have no idea how much this means to me and my people to have a place we can call home, a place where we are respected, protected and can make our own."

Xander merely smiled, his eyes an inch away from Artemis's as they both looked at each other; his hands resting on the sides of her waist as she sat sideways on his lap.

"You're welcome." He answered meaningfully, no bit of humor or clownishness in his voice, just sincerity.

"Ahem, I thought we were on a three way date here?" Diana's voice playfully interrupted the interaction between Xander and Artemis; causing both to quickly separate and blush.

They both pulled back to see Diana smirking at the two of them with a quirked smile on her lips as her eyes twinkled and she looked at them over her cup as she sipped her coffee daintily.

Xander carefully removed Artemis from his lap as Artemis returned to her seat, the blush very apparent as she noted the rest of the patrons smiling and Gloria, the waitress, gave Artemis a wink.

Xander cleared his throat, and a quip popped into his mind and then out of his lips, "Well I'm sorry that you were jealous. If you want, I'm sure Artemis wouldn't mind kissing you either." Xander added the last part with a smirk, congratulating himself on a quick comeback.

'_Good job boss.'_ One of the voices in Xander's head added.

'_Thank you, I thought so myself.'_ Xander replied back mentally to the voice in his head, only to be struck dumb by Diana's response.

"Thank you, I don't mind if I do." Diana replied with a wicked smile before turning towards Artemis and planting an equally hot and steamy kiss right on the lips of the former Bana-Mighdall Amazon.

It took a brief part of a second, and then Artemis was returning the kiss equally, both Amazons having been raised in societies where women being lovers was the norm rather than the exception. Though the tiny smirk that shown through on both girls' faces as they kissed implied that they knew they were getting back at Xander for his attempt at teasing them.

Their counter tease worked, as Xander's jaw dropped and he was lucky not to spill his coffee on his lap.

'_Humm-inn-a… Humm-inn-a… Humm-inn-a… HAREM! YES!'_ The voice of Xander's libido chanted in Xander's mind before pumping its fist in success and started to dance around the conference room in Xander's mind; the dancing included a lot of pantomimed hip thrusts.

The girls stopped their kiss and turned towards Xander with matching smirks as Xander blushed, realizing that sometimes he still had a bit of the old Sunny-D Xander left over, and had not turned into 100% Mr. Sauvé and confident in all things sexy-woman related.

Xander's jaw snapped closed, as he looked from one girl to the next, before smiling. "Good one Diana, you got me good." He added, nodding his head in admiration.

Both girls just smiled in return, just as their food was served on the table.

The threesome laughed as they ate, and a sense of relaxation permeated the trio as they just enjoyed each other's presence.

Between a bite of eggs, Diana asked Xander, "So why did you choose this place for our first real date?"

Xander smiled as he finished chewing his slice of bacon and then swallowed before replying. "Because I care about you." He looked Diana straight in the eyes as he explained.

"Both of you actually, and very much so." His eyes caught Artemis's for a moment before going back to Diana's. He really looked at Diana, in the face and not at her chest or at her curves, and the way he looked at her she could tell that he saw Diana and not Wonder Woman nor any of her other titles, just her, Diana, a woman.

His words mirrored that look, "I chose this town because I wanted to be with you, both of you and as ourselves." He kicked back in his seat and leaned so his left arm rested across the back of his side of the booth while his right arm waved at the diner and then what was going on outside the window as the streets were coming alive with locals and tourists alike.

"When I marry you two, I want to be married to Diana, and to Artemis, not Wonder Woman and the head Valkyrie. I don't want to love a title or a figurehead for some tribe or peoples; I want to fall madly truly and deeply in love with the woman you are." The power of Xander's Spark truly drove home the inflection and emotion behind his words, letting Diana be sure that he was meaning every word he stated.

"And here." Xander finished gesturing around himself, "I can be myself and so can you." His sincere smile adding to the effect of his words as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table. Diana and Artemis found themselves naturally leaning forward also, setting aside their food.

"Here, there are no masks of the Leviathan, no grey suits of armor for Artemis and me, nor any star spangled outfit, tiara and bracelets for you." He reached forward and took Diana and Artemis's hands in his own as he looked down at their hands, and then back up into their eyes.

"Here, you can just be Diana." He addressed to Diana, causing her to smile and her heart to melt as she looked deep into his eyes.

"And Artemis." He repeated, giving Artemis's hand a squeeze as he looked deep into her eyes, and both saw the love that they felt for each other mirrored back.

"And here I can be just Xander." He finished with a self-deprecating shrug and half smile that made both girls shiver at the mix of cute and handsome that made them both want to tackle him across the table. Xander was just truly a good guy, no matter the dark spots in his life nor the Spark of Mad Genius in his soul, in the end, he was just a guy wanting to go on a date and spend time with the women he cared for and was growing to love.

And both women could see it, feel it, and knew his words were true as he gently and subconsciously rubbed the back of their knuckles with his thumb as he held their hands.

It was at that moment that Diana, princess of Themyscira realized that she was falling in love with Alexander… no, Xander Heterodyne. Not the Leviathan nor Grey Knight who she respected so much, but Xander, the man behind the Science; behind the masks.

With that, the group smiled at each other, and they began to talk and share about each other, growing closer because of it.

Laughter issued from the table as the mound of food was surprisingly all eaten by the two tall muscular Amazons and even larger, taller and more muscular Xander.

Stories of their life were shared as their coffee cups were refilled time and time again as the hours ticked by into the midmorning while the streets became busier and more out of town tourists than locals began to fill up the booths and seats of the diner.

They were having a great time.

A wonderful time!

A time where the three of them were falling more and more in love and connecting with each other.

All of which is exactly why Xander's old friend Murphy's Law decided to interfere.

A shadow fell across the table as out of the corner of Xander's eye he noticed a suit and dark green cloak stood next to him at the edge of the table.

"Greetings Alexander, You have led me on a merry chase, but now it is time for you to stop your childish ways and joined me… or else."

Xander looked up, right into the sneering face of Ra's al Ghul, the man's servant Ubu and daughter Talia standing behind him.

"Greetings Beloved." Talia added with a demure nod of her head as Xander could only look back stunned in reply.

"Not now daughter." Ra's al Ghul's eyes never left Xander's. Instead, Ra's raised his hand to shoulder height, and he clicked his fingers.

The sound of metal against metal filled the diner as every tourist suddenly pulled out knives and swords and held them to the throats of the locals around them. The individuals in the booth seated behind Diana and Artemis spun around and set sharp steel against the throats of Xander's dates.

"And checkmate." Ra's smiled evilly, his eyes all a glow with success.

* * *

Tracking down Alexander Harris, aka Alexander Heterodyne, across the globe had taken a lot of man power and resources from the League of Shadows as well as Ra's al Ghul's legitimate business interests. The breakthrough in finding the one whom Ra's wanted as his Heir did not come until the tie between Sparkbucks and Alexander became clear.

The question had haunted al Ghul's mind, why would a young man with noted incredible skills but no real money to his name be tied so closely to The Empire of The Leviathan?

Searching through background computer data that seemed to disappear as quickly as it was found led nowhere. Hacking into the Embassy of The Leviathan in Gotham City seemed impossible. No, Ra's realized that he needed to rely on human intelligence.

Then the break came, or breaks to be more specific.

The world trade embargo of Sparkbucks coffee in league with The Empire of The Leviathan being recognized as a legitimate country and government. Agents noticing how Sparkbucks trucks seemed to disappear in flashes of light similar to the technology used by The Empire, and then Xander's use of robotics similar to that used by The Empire tied the pieces together.

In Ra's al Ghul's mind, it was clear that the young man was somehow well connected to the Empire, and that very much like his former Heir apparent Bruce Wayne, Alexander had a lot of money backing him up.

Adding two to two, Ra's believed that the end result was that Alexander Harris was the secret owner of Sparkbucks coffee; how else could the young man's appearance at The Empire's Embassy ball be explained? A major backer and reference point for the Empire who resided inside the USA was obviously going to receive an invitation to the ball. Add in the fact that the young man had a decidedly southern California accent to his English, and it was obvious that Alexander was an American.

Yes, in Ra's al Ghul's mind, all the pieces fit, and a festival in the heart of Alexander's town, the town where Sparkbucks Coffee's Headquarters was situated, was sure to see the illusive young man show up.

Ra's had ordered his League of Shadows, the scores of assassins and ninjas that reported to him, to infiltrate the town in preparation for the meeting.

It had all succeeded, and now he was standing beside Alexander, and he had his heir exactly where he wanted.

"And Checkmate." Ra's al Ghul smirked as he looked down into the stunned speechless face of Alexander Harris.

With blades held to the throats of Alexander's people inside the diner, the young man was at his mercy. The same situation was happening out in the streets also as the once peaceful "tourists" were exposed to be none other than ruthless ninja assassins who now held the town's populous hostage.

Xander blinked, and then an evil glare was returned back at the smirking Ra's al Ghul.

"Ra's, I let you go last time, but this is the second time you've made a big mistakes with me. And this time, you've made three of them." Alexander growled, his eyes flashing briefly green with anger.

"One." Xander stated and raised his hand in a fist, and stuck out his thumb to count down the mistakes that Ra's just made, "Neither of my dates need me to save them."

Xander's statement was prefaced by the sound of shearing steel, crunching bone and then shattering glass as the blades at Artemis and Diana's throats were crushed by their fists, right before both ninja's had their wrists broken by the grip of the two now angry women who proceeded to throw their attackers through the plate glass windows.

Ra's blinked at the change of events, but his sneer only increased, "I still have the rest of your people hostage, and there is no way you are fast enough to save them all throughout the city before at least one of them dies."

Xander only growled deeper and raised a second finger as he lowered his thumb, all while making a statement which had probably never been uttered before in the annals of human history.

"Two, you took ninja's with swords to a Death-Ray fight… Chateau, obliterate the ninjas."

"Click… KERRRRRRZZAAAAAP!"

Suddenly, from every surface inside the dinner and from every flat surface in the town, gun ports opened up, right before blue glowing beams of energy zapped out, immediately disintegrating every ninja in the town and leaving metal swords and knives to drop to the ground along with little piles of ash that was all that was left of the ninjas and assassins from The League of Shadows.

The gun ports clicked shut just as quickly as they had opened

Ra's al Ghul blinked in shock as his forces were obliterated instantly.

The townsfolk in the diner, and every minion on the street turned as one to grin evilly at the diner where they felt the Spark of their Master growing and pulsing as it grew with every beat of Xander's heart.

Now it was Xander's turn to smile evilly, a mad look shining in his eye as a dark shadow seemed to cover his face, a green glow seemed to permeate the air and his teeth were all too shiny as he smiled up at Ra's al Ghul.

Xander raised his third finger and dropped the first finger into his fist, basically flipping Ra's al Ghul off while still counting down.

"Three, you've messed with me and mine for the last time, Chateau, take his head."

There was the "Snap" "Fwoosh" of a portal opening up and closing, and then Ra's al Ghul's body fell to the ground headless.

Ra's al Ghul blinked, and then blinked again as he suddenly found himself looking out of a glass and bronze enclosure. Looking around, Ra's noticed other floating heads in the great blue tank.

And that's how Xander Heterodyne came out ahead of Ra's al Ghul, and in the end Ra's al Ghul was left with only his head.

* * *

The body of Ra's al Ghul dropped lifeless to the ground, no Lazarus Pit would ever be able to revive what was left of the eco-terrorist without his head; but just to make sure, there was a second "Click, Ker-ZAP!" and Ra's al Ghul's headless body became nothing but another pile of dust that Gloria would have to sweep up.

Xander dropped his fist and glared at Talia and Ubu, "Do you two have anything to add?"

In turn, Talia and Ubu blinked, and then as one dropped to a knee before Xander.

"The Demon Head is dead, long live the Demon Head! Hale Alexander, the new Ra's al Ghul."

Xander blinked at the sudden change in events.

"Wait, What?!" Was Xander only reply.

And that is how Xander gained control of the League of Shadows.

* * *

The rest of the morning was decidedly less threatening. Ok, so it was probably just as life threatening but not from the ninja variety.

Xander, Diana and Artemis left the diner with Igor having transported in to deal with Talia, Ubu and the fallout from gaining control of the League of Shadows. As they stepped out the doors, Dora, Tara and Jenny Kalderash ported in via a red transporter door and joined them for the fair.

Outside the diner the locals were laughing and playing as if nothing strange had happened; for in reality near death experiences with sword wielding ninjas was actually pretty boring compared to their normal life. In fact, the SCIENCE Fair and its events and food were perfect examples of the normal level of excitement.

Next to the grow your own monster display was a booth labeled "Fun With Genetics" where children could change their noses into cat's noses, tentacles, pig snouts or bird beaks for a short period of time before they reverted; they didn't need no stinking face painting.

Betting on chicken races was also a popular game, except the chickens were each four feet tall, glowed florescent green and shot flames out their rear-ends to propel themselves more quickly towards the finish line. Originally designed by Xander as a way to limit the methane emissions of farm animals, the birds had come out a bit differently than he had planned, but they were still better than the cows that some minions had dubbed "cud chewing mobile time bombs." Either way, a fire brigade was standing by with their Freeze-ray's, courtesy of technology from the former villain Dr. Freeze, to put out the fires left behind after each race. So far only the front two rows of the audience in the stands got singed; except for that one race where the chicken accidentally combusted.

Pin-the-tentacle-on-the-abomination replaced the more typical pin the tail on the donkey; and it included a real abomination of black tar like substance with lots of sharp teeth, where each live writhing tentacle added additional challenge for later blindfolded competitors to get through. The game was located next to the medical aid tent for a good reason.

Laser Tag was played with real lasers, enough said.

The petting zoo included animals that would make most sane people's brain's bleed at the mere sight of them, and the rollercoaster rides included trips into low earth orbit and back again while pulling up to five g's.

Then there was the food…

Yes there was the "Frank-N-Stein" booth, where the bald disembodied head of "Yuri" floated in a tank of fluid giving out fortunes based on information he pulled from the heads of his audience. The mechanical robot, very similar to a transformer's chassis, that Yuri's head was settled on went about dishing out hotdogs and steins of root beer or regular beer; based on your age and drinking habits.

There were mutated smoked chicken legs, with drumsticks the size of small children and enough food on one drumstick to feed a family of four; if you ate one, you glowed for the period of an hour and it was nice how the chicken cooked itself.

Electrostatic cotton candy was dispensed by a guy in a fully shielded rubber suit as he pulled cotton candy off of a seven foot tall quickly spinning tesla-coil. Just being handed the electrostatic cotton candy made your hair stand on end, and you could shock your friends with the static discharge while you ate it!

Xander and his fiancés had a blast, literally in the case of the "throw the dart at the nitroglycerin filled balloons" event and the real life version of "mine sweeper." After a bit of time even Diana was able to stop focusing on the rapid and deadly change of events that had happened in the diner with Ra's al Ghul and his assassins. Diana, aka Wonder Woman, was a warrior after all, and she understood the need for bloodshed when nothing else would do. The deaths of the attackers were near instantaneous and as such painless; an honorable outcome given the circumstances.

As noon rolled around, it was time for Xander to focus his attention on Jenny, Tara and Dora so he kissed Artemis goodbye. Diana kissed Xander goodbye, making both smile, and then both Diana and Artemis left with their arms full of giant color-changing stuffed teddy bears that Xander had won for the two of them at the fair.

"So, what are we going to do Xander?" Jenny questioned as Artemis and Diana disappeared through corresponding portals.

Xander smiled and put an arm around Tara and Dora while facing Jenny; the three ladies were wearing tight tailored red plaid flannel shirts and tight jeans. Xander had a sparkle in his eye as he responded.

"Well, your grandmother might have hinted how somebody loves monster truck rallies, so I figured we would grab the food you wanted and then go hit the show." He finished with a wink.

Jenny grew a big smile and leaned forward and kissed him on the lips, to which Tara and Dora both smirked and kissed Xander on either cheek at the same time leaving the young mad scientist with a huge smile on his face in return.

The girls then proceeded to drag Xander by the arm over to the food booth to grab their choice of grub. Xander meanwhile spent his time looking around at the fair and smiling as his people went about their merry and wacky way, enjoying the events and happy surroundings.

Xander's eyes panned the crowd while Tara and Dora discussed the benefits of hot pretzels versus deep fried Twinkies.

Over to Xander's right a child walked by with a floating inflated monster of some sort on a string, the little floating monster letting off puffs of smoke as it followed along behind its owner like a balloon on a tether. To the left of that and tucked away in the shadows between the throw the ball into the miniature black hole stand and the nitroglycerin darts booth were two rats beating the crap out of a pigeon while a mangy looking squirrel held a nut on high and over the pigeon's head. People were enjoying the stands and the fair, and Xander's brain caught up with what he had just seen between the booths and he focused in on the two rats and the squirrel tormenting the pigeon.

'_What in the hell?!' _Xander thought to himself.

'_Um, I see what you are seeing, but it doesn't make any more sense to me than it does to you.' _Xander's voice of reason answered back in Xander's mind, just as puzzled as Xander at what they were seeing.

'_Kumquat!' _Xander's voice of Insanity shouted for no particularly helpful reason.

Just then the squirrel noticed Xander's attention on the three rodents, and it quickly squeaked and bowed to Xander, prostrating itself on the ground from its position in the shadows. The two rats turned to see what the squirrel was doing and also noticed Xander, both of them bowing and forcing the pigeon to its knees along with them.

Xander blinked and turned to look at the girls, "Um, does anybody else see the rodents acting strangely over there?"

Dora paused mid bite from her deep fried Twinkie and looked at Xander quizzically, "What? Where?" Drawing Tara and Jenny's attention to Xander also.

"Right over," Xander's voice faded out as he looked back at where the three rodents and one flying rodent (aka pigeon) had been, only to see nothing but shadows in-between the two booths.

"Um, never mind." Xander finished as he painted a smile on his face and turned to face his girls. "Ready to see the show?" He quipped with his half smirk and goofy smile on his face.

The girls held up their assortments of multi-flavored popcorn, Twinkies, funnel cakes, chicken legs and Sparkbucks coffee to show that they were ready, and Xander helped them hold their bounty as they all moved toward the arena in the distance where the sounds of motors growling, and other more animalistic growls, could be heard.

* * *

"I think Big Foot is my favorite monster truck." Janna stated while cheering as her selected truck smashed several expensive looking Mercedes Benz, Jaguars and even a Ferrari that were being used for the show; only the best cars would be destroyed for Xander's people. The people of New Mechanicsburg had simple tastes when it came to their past times, yet one thing they all agreed on was that any company that claimed to make an ultimate driving machine was just asking to have their product put to the test. They all agreed, that if it couldn't handle one little monster truck that wasn't even armed with lasers or tactical nuclear missiles, then obviously the company's definition of "ultimate driving machine" did not match their definition. Besides, Sparkbucks was rolling in the money, so the minions of New Mechanicsburg had plenty of money to use for fun things like despoiling pristine expensive cars or lots of polish for the weapons they kept ready and spotless in the mountains around their valley; waiting for the day their Master unleashed them on his foes.

"Which Big Foot are you talking about? The original Big Foot with the giant tires driven by the Jägermonster, or the green fuzzy poke dotted truck with the four large feet and legs instead of tires?" Xander questioned between bites of popcorn.

Janna Kalderash, who would have gone by Jenny Calendar if she was in the Sunnydale Universe, paused in thought for a moment and then shrugged, "Well the traditional Big Foot was the first Monster Truck ever, so I really like that one, but the monster truck that is really a monster is kind of cute with its purple nail polish on its claws, and it is so cute how it purrs when it's allowed to crush some cars."

Tara, in true minion style, added in her opinion, "Personally I like the giant snail with the truck chasse for a shell, the slime trail has a beautiful pearlescent quality to it as it shines in the sun. "

"That or the tentacle truck!" Dora chimed in excitedly, "It can crush ten different cars at once!" She cheered for her selected Monster Truck which wasn't so much a truck as a monster the size of one but with a row of bucket seats strapped to its back and two of the more redneck minions whooping and hollering as they went along for the ride.

From their seats in the stand, Xander and his girls heard one of the redneck minions cheering as the tentacle "truck" made another pass around the arena, yelling, "It's making another left turn!" Which for some reason made the other redneck minion cheer even more.

Xander merely smiled and hugged Tara and Janna who were seated next to him before leaning over Tara and kissing Dora on the cheek so she didn't feel left out. "I agree on the racing snail, you should see what the friction coefficient of its slime is… big bugger practically glides around the track; but doesn't do to well in the winter with all the salt on the roads."

"And Now, for a Special Event!" The announcer interrupted the show and Xander's conversation by broadcasting through the arena's loudspeaker system, "One of our lucky audience members will be able to drive the original Big Foot!" The voice paused in its broadcast as the crowd cheered and then went silent to hear who the lucky audience member would be.

"Seat 42! You're the winner!" The announcer shouted, and the crowd all cheered and looked towards Xander and his girls, or specifically at Janna Kalderash who was currently seated in number 42 for the audience.

"I won?" Janna blinked at looked over at Xander with a stunned look on her face.

Xander smirked, and so did Tara and Dora. Then Xander winked at Janna.

"I WON!" She shouted in glee as she realized she was actually going to get to drive one of the trucks. She gave Xander a giant hug before jumping out of her seat and danced in the aisle as she waited for Xander, Dora and Tara to get up and follow her down the aisle and to the locked gate that was being opened so that she could go out onto the field.

A huge smile painted Xander's face as the crowd of minions and tourists cheered, with only the minions fully realizing that the selection was probably rigged by Xander but not caring in the least because he was The Heterodyne.

They smiled as they walked through the dirt field, stopped to pet the big fuzzy foot of the furred monster that was in the shape of a truck but with four legs, and then made their way over to the original Big Foot monster truck.

"Herez youz goes Bozz, only zey bezt fer youz and yer gurlz." The driver of Big Foot handed over the keys to Janna who shrieked in joy before grabbing a helmet and ear protection and climbing up into the cab. Xander helped the girls up into the truck, and then sat in the passenger side as the truck had four seats and was more of an SUV model than a true truck with a bed.

Xander only had time to buckle up the five point safety harness and make sure the girls were all protected, and then the engine rumbled to life. Xander quickly looked over at Janna, and it was at that point that he realized he might have made a mistake.

Janna floored the truck, causing the cab of the car to point straight up into the air as sudden power to the rear axle picked the front of the Big Foot monster truck up off the ground due to the torque, then sent the truck hurtling towards a line of uncrushed cars.

"BWA HA HA HA HA HA!" Janna laughed maniacally, showing she had been around Xander way too much.

Tara and Dora screamed in glee.

And Xander went pale and grabbed a hold of the "Oh Shit!" bar, otherwise known as the handle that was on the roof of the cab next to the window. Just in time to as the back wheels of the truck, still the only two wheels touching the ground, hit the first car in the line and caused the front wheels of the truck to slam down crushing in the cab of a formerly very nice Lotus sports car.

The next ten minutes were spent by the audience oohing and ahhing over a spectacle of destruction they had almost never seen before; then again most of them were minions so eh, it was a tossup to some other things that happened around the place.

Janna crushed cars, Janna really crushed cars. Launching the truck off of ramps and cars at full speed and promising to absolutely destroy the suspension on the giant truck.

She crushed cars with her wheels.

She crushed cars by rolling her truck in a barrel roll by flipping and barrel rolling the truck over and over.

She imitated parallel parking, but where the driver of said car being parked prefers to make her own parking spot.

Every conceivable "woman driver" joke ever made could not compare to the destruction that Janna unleashed on that field of cars, and all the while Janna's evil laughter bubbled up from inside her while Tara and Dora screamed in glee.

Meanwhile, Xander was having flashbacks to the Sunnydale verse, and kept shouting in fright, "She Drives Like Buffy! She Drives Like Buffy!"

* * *

Meanwhile in the Sunnydale dimension itself, and more particularly in the Sunnydale High School library, Buffy and the gang were catching up on the comic books of Xander's escapades when Buffy came to the part when Xander compared Janna's driving to her own.

"Gahhh!" Buffy yelled in anger while stomping her cute little foot, "Oh no he didn't! I do not drive that bad." Buffy spat angrily before looking up at Jonathan and Andrew who were at the table with her reading other copies of the comic books and a magic book on golem creation for when they wanted to automate their steam powered clank.

Though the effects of the minion virus, and minions in general, weren't known for their self-preservation skills when it came to science experiments and other offenses to nature, both boys felt their nerd sense of self-preservation kick in, and neither of them would make eye contact with Buffy.

"Guys, come on, I don't drive that badly." Buffy demanded at the two.

Andrew looked up frightened, seeing an angry Slayer glaring at you was not of the good.

Andrew darted a look around to see if anybody was going to save him from answering the question. Seeing no help, he gulped before looking down at his watch, "Hey, look at the time! Have to get to the comic shop to check out those new warhammer Titan miniature I wanted to see if I could copy and upgrade our clank into. Bye!" With that, Andrew turned and darted out of his chair and out the door of the library.

Jonathan, seeing an out in regard to answering the question frantically threw his version of the comic book down and took off after Andrew, "Wait for me! I want to read the latest version of Batman and see how he is reacting to all of Xander's actions."

"Guys?" Buffy looked confused, but still seeking an answer, she looked over at Willow and Willow's new boyfriend Oz who were now very diligently typing on a computer with their heads close together and glued to the screen as if they didn't hear Buffy, when in reality there was no way that Oz hadn't heard with his improved werewolf hearing. Then again, they were busy hacking into the Federal government's research entity known as DARPA, so they might well have been too involved in the railgun blueprints they were trying to steal.

"Giles, surely I don't drive That badly, right?" Buffy pleaded with her watcher who had been busy reading through a new tome that had been delivered that day; stressing the word "That" in her question.

"Not now Buffy," Giles stated, looking stylish in his punk rock leather jacket from days of his youth while picking up the tome and turning towards his office, "I have to cross reference this new information with my last findings in the Watcher Journals before my date with Jenny." Giles responded, totally ignoring Buffy's plea.

"Yes." A snide voice from across the library replied to Buffy's answer.

Cordelia Chase peaked over the top of her Cosmopolitan magazine where she had been perusing the latest fashions. "You really do drive that badly." Cordelia finished with a smirk before raising her magazine and going back to her reading; also showing that apparently even with the infection of the minion virus into the Sunnydale universe, some things would never change.

"Well hmmph, who asked you anyway." Buffy pouted and crossed her arms over her chest while stewing in anger in her seat as she went back to reading the comic book.

* * *

Xander, Tara and Dora wobbily exited the truck that was now just as beat up as the cars that had been crushed by Janna.

"Willz youz marry me?" The awe struck Jägerkin driver asked, stars in his eyes as he watched the vision of beauty and destruction step out of the truck and shake out her long brunette hair after taking off her helmet.

"Pow!" The explosion of sound rocked through the arena as Xander's fist met the Jäger's jaw and sent the Jägermonster flying out and over the arena's walls.

Janna just smiled at Xander and leaned over and kissed his cheek, causing Xander's early pale complexion to war with both the new blush and the bit of instant anger that had arose when the Jägerkin had asked Xander's fiancé to marry him.

"Now now, no reason to be jealous." Janna added as she hugged Xander fiercely, Tara and Dora joining in on the group hug while the crowd cheered from the stands.

"I had a great date Xander, thank you so much." Tara stated as she gave Xander a kiss on the cheek.

"Yes, it was a lot of fun, thanks for taking us out for the afternoon." Dora added before kissing his other cheek.

Xander smiled back, especially when Janna leaned forward and kissed him on the lips slightly, "Thank you for making one of my dreams come true." She added.

Xander's smile grew larger and he hugged all three girls to him as he led them off the field and through a tunnel while giving them a big hug as his long muscular arms wrapped around the shorter ladies.

"It was absolutely my pleasure." He finished, just pausing and smiling at his three fiancés.

The girls smiled back at him, but not a moment later Dora was looking at her watch.

"You need to get ready if you are going to make it up to Selena for the broken date the last time, as well as equaling the fun the rest of us had today." Dora added, and Tara nodded in agreement.

Xander smiled and nodded before kissing each girl on the forehead and giving them a hug before stepping back.

"Thank you ladies for just being you and for being willing to spend the day with me. It means so much." He finished, and with that, he disappeared with the snap of a portal.

Behind Xander he left two minions and one gipsy, all three of whom were very happy and touched by Xander's actions, words and the wonderful date they had spent together.

* * *

Xander knocked on Selena Kyle's bedroom door inside Castle Wulfenbach and waited. Being the girlfriend of The Leviathan had privileges, one of which was a richly designed and furnished apartment Selena could use whenever she wanted, an apartment in a floating castle with the best view of Gotham City's skyline as the floating palace/embassy stayed tethered but flying above the city.

Selena threw open the door, a long form fitting purple dress with a slit up the side and heels framed her figure as she smiled with a sultry smirk back at Xander, only for her smile to fall from her face as she took in what he was wearing.

Xander's all black body armor hugged his body like a second skin, leaving off some anatomical details but none the less showing off the incredible musculature that he had gained via his combination with Alexander Heterodyne on that Halloween night; that plus the skills and abilities he had gained from achieving Aquaman's body density and a few other science related bonus's from the nano-clanks and shrunken Amazo technology.

Xander smirked back at Selena's frown but stayed silent.

Selena purposefully looked Xander up and down before replying a bit cattily, "I like the muscles babe, but I thought when I told you to take me out and make it up to me, you would be a bit more dressed up?"

Xander shrugged, but still kept that sly grin on his face before crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall across the hall from her.

"Well, if you really want to go out to that type of fancy shmancy place, we can do so." Xander stated, as with a thought his armor rippled and shifted until it shaped itself to appear as if Xander was wearing a well-tailored tuxedo.

"Then again," Xander continued with a smirk as his nano-clank clothing bubbled again and turned into his full body black armor, the micro-machines seeming to bleed up his body and began to cover his face with the all black featureless helmet he preferred. "I figured a little rooftop shenanigans would be more up your alley Catwoman, what with this being on display in the city tonight."

Xander finished his quip as his armor fully covered his face, he then held up the palm of his hand and an image was projected out of his glove:

An image of a jade cat statute one foot tall by about six inches wide, a jade statue with deep green emeralds for eyes and a diamond and ruby studded gold collar.

Selena drooled.

Xander laughed, breaking Selena out of her stunned state of seeing the statue. She had a fetish for cat statues, antiquities and jewelry, especially of the extremely expensive variety. And the statue Xander was showing her met her interests to a T.

"I'll just change fast." She stated, pivoting on her heel and marching back into her apartment as Xander chuckled and walked in after her.

Xander's chuckle cut off in a gulp as Selena pulled the clasp on the back of her long slinky dress and it dropped to the ground, leaving her naked except for her heels.

Selena ignored Xander for the most part, but did give him a wink in the mirror of her armoire as she opened the door to the piece of furniture and pulled out her black leather Catwoman outfit.

Behind the protection of Xander's helmet, he swallowed a suddenly dry mouth as the little voice in the back of his head yelled, _'SCORE!'_

Selena in turn had a wicked gleam in her eye as she quickly but seductively slipped out of her heels and then shimmied into her skin tight outfit; Xander wasn't sure whether he thought she was sexier in the outfit, or out of it, but either way, at that moment in time he said a little mental "thank you" to Mr. Myxlsptlk for keeping him in this crazy DC comics universe.

"Zzzzzzzzpp." Xander's attention was brought back to the present by the sound of Selena's long zipper coming up, closing up the front of the Catwoman costume while she smirked at Xander from behind her goggles that protected her eyes.

"Come on big boy, we have a statue to steal." She stated as she strutted up to Xander before standing on her tip toes and laying a kiss on the side of his helmet before walking past.

Xander was a bit mesmerized for a moment, as he was lost in his thoughts and the sight he had just seen.

'_Um, is it me, or does anybody else envy the helmet at the moment?' _The voice of Xander's libido questioned.

'_Seconded!'_ Every single one of Xander's voices chorused back in reply; including the voice of insanity.

Insanity might be crazy, but he wasn't stupid.

* * *

Rather than travel by portal, Xander had instead flown with Selena in his arms down to the rooftops of Gotham City; and it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he wanted to get his hands on her curves while she was in that skin tight outfit.

Of course Selena didn't believe that for a second, and she smirked at Xander while telling him so.

"No, I simply wanted to enjoy the fresh air and thought a flight down from the Castle would be nice." Xander argued.

"Xander," Selena started as he set her down on the rooftop, cocking her hip and resting her hand on her waist, "This is Gotham City, the most polluted, dingy smog filled city in the entire United States. There is no fresh air here."

'_She's got you there chief.'_ The voice of Reason responded in Xander's mind.

'_Hey! You're supposed to be on my side._' Xander mentally groused before waiting for Libido to come to his rescue.

Xander's inner Libido just shrugged and smiled inside Xander's mind, _'Hey, don't look at me. I'm all for you getting your hands on that sexy kitten, but as long as you get laid I don't care about things like logic or reason.'_

"Anyway." Xander didn't even try to deny his ulterior reasons anymore and decided to instead start running across the roofline towards the gap that separated the building they were on and the next.

"Come on slow poke, the night's not getting any younger and your new statue awaits." He jokingly yelled over his shoulder as he leapt to the next building using his greater than human strength to propel himself over the fifteen foot gap.

The snap of a whip to his right soon heralded the arrival of Selena as she swung onto the roof next to him using a roof mounted cell phone tower's guide wires as a target for her whip. Then the two were off across the rooftops.

They made it across two rooftops before Xander decided to goof around and entertain his date, Catwoman, rolling into a handstand and then running on his hands with his feet above his head while keeping pace with Selena.

Handstand running was followed by flips and tricks as he crossed the roofline, running circles around Catwoman who though incredibly athletic and able to do incredible acts of parkour across the city's features, was still only human.

She giggled and laughed at his antics, and he joked along until the point that he kind of lost track of what he was supposed to be doing; namely watching where he was going.

Selena smirked and leapt to the next building, only for Xander to hit the clothes line she had dodged that spanned the space between the two buildings and he disappear down the gap of the alleyway with a loud, "Oops! Shit!" with arms and legs waving crazily to right himself.

Catwoman just laughed and stood on the rooftop waiting as Xander sheepishly floated back to the rooftop, uninjured except for his bruised ego.

"Ha! So where too now mighty leader." She chided him playfully as she waited to see where exactly he was leading her.

Xander scratched the back of his helmeted head sheepishly while calling up the city map via the interface on the inside of his helmet.

"Um, let's see. Should be two blocks that way, a bonded warehouse and insurance broker's facility. Statue is on display tonight before being delivered to its new owner in the morning." Xander pointed towards several large square flat roofed warehouses that could be seen slightly rising above the rest of the buildings around them.

"Great, I can't wait." Selena stated while rubbing her leather clad hands together eagerly, "This is going to be purrrfect." She purred the last statement, sending shivers down Xander's spine and making him smile behind his helmet as he watched her leap out ahead to lead the last bit of distance to the targeted location.

Upon reaching the warehouse roof however, she couldn't locate an entrance, window or skylight she could use to get into the building; and looking out over the edge saw several armed guards with dogs patrolling the outside of the building. The only major structures on top of the building were two large raised sheds that housed the heating and air conditioning units, and there were two ladders leading down to street level.

Frustrated, she turned to look at Xander who had landed next to her, both of their feet softly crunching in the gravel that lined the rooftop of the warehouse.

"Ok, so this was your idea for a date, how do we get in and get the statue?" She questions, raising her goggles off her eyes and then holding them in her hand while giving Xander a bit of a glare that Cordelia Chase could have learned a thing or two from.

Xander merely smiled and didn't directly answer her question, but rather raised his hand and displayed a three dimensional holographic map of the building that first looked at the outside and then zoomed in to focus on the inside of the building. The image first showed a large room totally devoid of any structure except for metal pillars that held up the roof and a lattice work along the ceiling. The floor was a checkerboard pattern of black and white tile, each tile about a foot and a half on each side of the square tile. In the middle of the room was a pillar that was lit up with the jade cat statue bathed in light resting on a purple velvet cushion.

"Well first things first, you need to understand the security inside between us and the statue." Xander stated, using his free hand to point at the statue and then at the floor.

Selena moved closer to Xander as he started to explain the security.

"First, the floor. Every black square tile is a pressure plate." Xander looked up and smiled at Selena from behind his helmet, cocking his head to the side and teasingly adding, "Ever played the child's game of don't step on a crack or you break your mother's back? Well step on a crack and you will have a lot more to worry about than back problems, as the slightest pressure will immediately alert the guards, the police, and no doubt Batman."

Selena just smirked back at him, "Piece of cake, we just get through the roof right above the statue and you float me down."

Xander shook his head and mockingly wagged his finger back and forth, "Not so fast, that's the type of curiosity that kills, or at least captures, cats." Suddenly red lines started forming all across the image of the room, and especially across the ceiling above the cat statute as the metal lattice work of the warehouse's ceiling was suddenly teeming with laser trip lines.

"Infrared laser detection grid, only a very flexible individual could hope to get across that floor without tripping one of the lasers and setting off the silent alarm. There is a space around the statue itself that is left open, and the only other gap happens to be right under where we are standing." Xander shrugged, "I should be able to cut us a square right where I'm standing that we can drop through onto a safe spot on the white tile, and then we can work our way forward through the infrared beams."

Catwoman frowned at Xander's plan, her mind thinking quickly as cat-burglary, so to say, was her area of expertise. "That totally isn't going to work. If the beams are infrared then there is no way we are going to be able to see where is safe and where we are setting off the silent alarm."

Xander paused and looked at Catwoman quizzically, "Wait, you mean you have been robbing museums and rich people all this time, and your goggles can't see infrared trip lasers? Give me those."

Xander finished while snatching her perfectly normal goggles out of her hand and then turning around to look across the roofline.

"Hey! Give those back." Selena demanded and stepped forward, only to be shhh'd by Xander.

"Quiet, inventor working here. Bother the inventor and who knows what the Spark will create." Xander responded as he quickly scanned the roofline around him, finding quartz crystalline like pebble among the other bits of stone that lined the roof. An old piece of bubble gum caught his eye along with a bit of copper wire sticking out from the air-conditioning unit and an old dead D battery that might have been left over from a flashlight or something else a repair person had once used on the roof.

Xander started to hum a discordant tune.

To Selena, the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end as some power seemed to suddenly emanate from Xander. It was like flexing muscles, but just at the skin level as the world around her seemed to shiver in time to the rising, lowering and minor key notes that Xander was hitting with his voice; he had an amazing range given his overt masculinity and it kind of amazed her that he was even able to hit some high notes that she probably couldn't reach.

Selena blinked, and realized that Xander was handing her back her goggles.

Catwoman looked down at the goggles in her hands, and blinked again at what she saw.

"Wait a minute; they look exactly as they did before! You didn't do anything to them." She demanded, as it looked and felt exactly like the leather strap and glass protective goggles that she had before.

Xander laughed. "Ha, try them on and say that again."

Selena mumbled a growl as she slid them over her head, only to utter out the first word that sprang to mind, "Wow…"

The night sky was lit up like day, as if she was operating under the summer sun rather than a dark smoggy Gotham night without a star in sight. Green grid lines overlay the textures of the landscape around her, and through her goggles she could see a grey shadow or haze displayed in the areas that would be good for hiding in; a computer typed message of "Hide here" was even displayed in the best shadows.

"What… how did… just wow." She finally said as she looked at Xander, only to smile large as an information tag over Xander's head read, "Hot sexy boyfriend who you want to pounce into bed with" including a flashing downward arrow pointing at Xander.

Xander just smiled at her large smile, and he shrugged.

"What can I say? It's a gift." His voice smugly relayed.

"A bit presumptuous with that tag, don't you think?" She playfully replied, not denying in the slightest that it was true or not.

Xander smirked a bit of an evil smile behind the safety of his helmet as a wicked plan came to mind.

'_Bwa ha ha ha ha ha.' _He mentally chuckled to himself.

Xander's voice of World Domination nodded in agreement to the wicked manipulative idea, _'Well planned young lord, the Darkside is strong with you.' _The inner voice added in the voice of Darth Vadar.

"How about we have a competition." Xander challenged instead of answering her statement.

Xander raised his hand which seemed to disappear into nothingness while mentally commanding his nano-clanks to activate a new bit of technology now that his Valhalla, the dimensionally separate city of the Valkyries was completed, and seemed to draw his lightsaber out of thin air while in fact reaching into that separate dimension and calling his blade to his hand from its storage room.

Xander's hand reappeared out of the seeming hole in the air only for the red blade to ignite in with the classic sound of the "Snap-hiss" before thrumming as he spun the blade around his hand before making four quick cuts to the roof beneath him and quickly grabbing the roof material before it could fall to the floor below.

"Person that can get to the statue the fastest without setting off the alarm gets a favor from the loser, preferably a favor of the sexual kind." He challenged as he set the piece of roof down and stood up to turn back to Selena.

"Challenge accepted." She stated with a wicked smile of her own as she jumped through the hole without even waiting for a Xander to fully realize she was going.

"By all means, Lady's first." Xander's quip followed Catwoman as she plummeted from the ceiling through the gap in the lasers, which she could now see through her goggles, and to the floor.

Catlike reflexes honed from years of burglary kicked in as she absorbed the force of the fall on her toes as he knees flexed and she brought her hands down to stop her descent; toes perfectly situated on white tiles, knees hovering over black tiles but not touching, and crouched like a cat about to pounce as clawed gloves caught their own safe white spaces.

Elbows bent, knees crouched and hovering only five inches above the floor, head up and calculating a path through the crisscrossing lasers displayed in her goggles, she smiled.

"This is where the fun begins," she thought to herself.

Then she pounced.

* * *

Xander floated down slowly through the gap he had cut in the roof; however he almost forgot how to breathe let alone fly at the sight he saw.

It was simply the most feminine, seductive and flexible example of female athletics that he had ever witnessed in his life.

Selena pounced, springing from all fours to straight and flat through the air as she dove between a gap in the laser grid, touched down in a brief handstand on the tips of her fingers before pushing off straight up and seeming to high-jump over a beam of infrared light five feet over the ground with her feet leading and her back arching almost to the point it touched and barely scraping by the beam of light.

Landing daintily on the toes of her leather incased stiletto wearing heels, safely on a white tile, she stepped into a spread angle splits by drawing her right leg up against her calf, leather rasping against leather before inserting her leg over a laser that was a foot off the ground and sliding between that beam and another barely a foot above that.

Pulling her body through the gap purely with leg strength and a sense of balance that would make a ballerina damn jealous, Catwoman smiled as she pirouetted on her toes before turning her back towards the statue and bending backwards through a square hole made by the lasers. Landing on her hands in a headstand, she pulled her legs up together not unlike a mermaid might flip its tail, before pulling her knees to her chest while still holding her perfect handstand.

Arms flexed as she pulled herself close to the ground, only for her explode upwards with a show of strength that made Xander's mouth go dry as the brief bit of light in the room shined off your leather clad derriere as she spun rapidly up and through a gap in the lasers four feet off the ground only to explode into a Chinese splits with legs akimbo and balancing on her stiletto heels with a laser four inches above the ground and one inch below her crotch.

Selena turned to look at Xander, and she winked with a catty smirk on her face.

"Hummina hummina." Xander mumbled verbally while licking his dry lips.

'_Seconded!'_ Every voice in Xander's head voted unanimously.

Seeming to bend in on herself as if she had no spin, Selena rolled forward and slid her hands, head and upper body through a gap less than nine inches off the ground; almost scraping a black pressure sensor tile as her body limbo-ed through the smallest opening yet and right up to the statue's pillar and the safe spot in the middle of the room.

"Bravo! Bravo!" Xander stated across the room, a huge smile on his lips.

Catwoman did a mock bow of her head, hand to her stomach and flipped her wrist in a joking pantomime of an entertainer's bowing for ovation.

Standing, Selena smirked at Xander, "That was fun. Let's see you do better." She challenged with a raised eyebrow.

Xander cocked his head to the side and smiled playfully behind his helmet, "Fastest time to the statue wins the favor?" He joked back.

Selena nodded with a large wicked smile, "Those were the rules, and I look forward to collecting my prize." She quipped back.

Xander quickly queried the time in his helmet, and his AI Jarvis responded, "At the sound of the chime Sir, the time will be twelve AM. Good morning Sir."

This made Xander smile even larger, though Selena couldn't see that she was in trouble.

"Very well then." Xander replied before raising his hands, and clapping twice.

"Clap on." He chanted out loud with a smug smile as his helmet dissolved showing his face while his hands made two ringing and distinct sounds of "Clap, Clap."

The lights in the warehouse turned on, the lasers turned off, the floor lost its tiled look and became solid white and Xander strolled across the room without a care in the world and an incredibly lopsided grin on his face and amusement playing in his eyes.

Selena's jaw dropped as Xander came up next to her, his height allowing him to smile down at her and slowly raise a finger to close her mouth with a 'click' while at the same time lifting the statue from its pedestal and handing it to Selena.

"It's morning; here is your new statue." Xander quipped while winking at her, "I told you the new owner was going to be collecting the statue in the morning, and look at that, its 12 AM. Good morning pretty kitty. Now how about that favor?"

Selena held the statue to her chest where Xander had handed it to her, her brain trying to catch up with her as he mouth worked but no words came out.

Xander laughed a deep chuckle and his eyes twinkling in mirth before leaning down and kissing Selena on the sputtering lips before hugging her around the waist and floating off the floor and back towards the hole cut in the roof.

"But, but…" Selena started, only to get a somewhat catty glare in her eye as she slapped Xander on the chest playfully, "You cheated! You told me that if we tripped the sensor we would set off the alarm. And yet you own the statue! I thought we were stealing it!" She growled at him.

Xander just laughed in reply before quipping back, "Yep! And it was fun also." Xander gave her a lopsided grin while continuing, "Much more fun than simply taking you out to a nice restaurant and giving you the statue, and I especially enjoyed the floor show that came with our time together." Xander winked.

Selena blushed and looked down at Xander's muscular chest as the exited the hole and settled down lightly onto the roof.

"Well I still say you cheated." She challenged, but only half-heartedly as his trick amused her and she had had a lot of fun as well as adored the statue.

"So, does that mean you are going to welch on our bet then? We never said how we had to get to the statue, just fastest one there and I won." Xander taunted playfully.

"Ah, but I wanted to win." Selena pouted, her plump red lips jutting out with the lower one playfully pouting and being nibbled on as she looked playfully up at Xander.

Xander licked his lips and leaned in slowly, eyes locked on Selena's, "We both win." He uttered huskily as he pulled her into the kiss and slid one arm up and around her shoulders while the other hand reached down and clenched her butt and pulled her to him.

Selena moaned into the kiss and both closed their eyes as they lost themselves in the passion of the embrace.

Xander lost all track of the world around him, his focus fully swallowed by the sensation of her soft lips on his and her tongue lightly and playfully wrestling with his for dominance.

The kiss lasted a good three minutes and Selena opened her eyes to look at her boyfriend who she was admitting she was truly in love with, only for her eyes to go large.

Selena jerked back, startling Xander, and yelled, "LOOK OU…" Yet her warning was never completed as Xander turned his head only to see a large wooden mallet the size of a garbage can lid two inches from his face.

Xander was blasted out of Selena's arms by the force of the blow, the pain shocking his brain for a moment as the laws of physics came into play and the momentum of the large well swung mallet picked him up off his feet and sent him skipping across the roof.

Warning klaxons sounded in his head as pain flashed behind his eyes, _'Battle Stations! Battle Stations! All personalities to Battle Stations!'_ The voice of Reason in Xander's head shouted, only to stop as Xander heard the most evil and crazy laugh he had ever heard in his life.

"WA HA HA HA HA HA!"

It was no normal laugh. No, it was the almost signature cackle of a Clown. The Clown Prince of Crime to be exact, and one named "The Joker" if you wanted to be specific.

Xander saw red and his eyes flashed primal green as he shook off the pain, the upgrade from the absorbing of Aquaman's durability and bulletproof constitution allowing Xander to shake off the blow and rise to his feet.

There in front of Xander, clothed in a long purple straight legged suit, green hair and garish white makeup with a slit faced smile outlined in red was The Joker, holding Selena at gunpoint with the largest longest barreled pistol he had ever seen ground into the temple of her head. Standing in the shadows of the roof behind The Joker was the villain's sidekick Harley Quinn, aka Harley Quinzel who had been a lovely psychiatrist until The Joker had twisted her around his finger and used her for his love slave and often abused significant other. It was Harley that was carrying the large wooden mallet over her shoulder, the size of the thing almost dwarfing her petite size and her skintight harlequin outfit of red and black begging the question of where she kept the damn mallet when she wasn't carrying it.

'_What is it with villains holding My loved ones hostage!?_ 'Xander mentally bellowed in his mind as a brief part of Xander realized that he had just included Selena in the group of people he loved, the other part of him was incredibly furious.

Xander growled, only barely holding back a scream of absolute rage as his eyes lit up his face with a green glow that was the only light around him on the dark roof under the smoggy Gotham sky.

Xander had never been more angered in his life, for if there was one thing that Xander hated besides his loved ones being threatened, it was clowns.

"I… Hate… Clowns." Xander growled while taking a menacing step forward, claws springing from his armored hands as if to rend The Joker piece by piece.

The joker smirked and ground the barrel of his overly large pistol into the temple of Catwoman, stopping Xander's advance.

However, this situation would not play out like the normal Joker versus Batman Hostage crisis. Oh no, far from it in fact.

The Joker smiled evilly, his smile creeping from ear to ear as he opened his mouth to taunt Xander, but before he could respond, before he could start the ever common monologue between dastardly evil super-villain and hero, before he could taunt Xander with the death of Xander's loved one…something unexpected happened.

You see, due to Xander's tampering with mind control and telepathy, Xander had infected the rodent population with his own special brand of insanity.

A part of that insanity being an all abiding hatred of clowns.

Add to this the fact that the Rodent Crusade had pretty much taken over every single rodent in all of Gotham, and the Joker was in big trouble.

"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Rodents of unusual size and hair cut flooded out of the darkness. How dare a clown threaten the Nut God's mate! This would not stand! And so the near unending wave of mangy, angry and mohawk sporting squirrels descended from the darkened shadows of the rooftops around Xander in a wave of squeaking furry fury.

Squirrels leaped in a wave that drove the Joker back and away from Selena as The Clown Prince of Gotham suddenly found himself deluged with biting clawing woodland creatures that went for the eyes, ears, and like squirrels everywhere, the nuts.

The Joker's pants bulged as twenty squirrels flooded his slacks like clowns in a clown car as he struggled to stay standing, swinging his hands wildly and attempting to use his gun as a club to drive the little buggers away from his face and neck. It was then that he felt the biting on his legs and thighs and changed his protection of his face to the protection of his crotch.

"Not the Nuts! Not the Nuts!" The Joker begged, only to be ignored by the enraged rodents who were in his pants and as one latched their sharp little acorn crushing teeth onto the Joker's hairy nutsack.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! They Got the Nuts!" The Joker's normally deep voice suddenly matched that of any young child singer in a boys choir group; high pitched and shrill enough to make dogs bark for blocks around.

The Joker thrashed and fell over while punching himself in the nuts, trying anything to get the squirrels to let go but they seemed to move out of the way every time he swung, only ending up with him clubbing himself in the nuts and adding to his own pain.

The Joker struggled to stand up, as Harley, Catwoman and Xander all stood stunned as they watched the very one sided battle. Xander's rage immediately disappeared, he didn't know whether to be scared, stunned, angry, or fall over laughing at the sight before him.

The Joker was screaming in agony, cuts and bites on his face as every squirrel he knocked off was soon matched by two more attacking him.

Spying a wall of a raised part of the roof, a sub building that housed the air conditioning unit for the warehouse, The Joker sprinted for the building before beginning wild gyrations and hip thrusts into the side of the building in the hope of knocking loose the rabid little berserkers.

"EE! AH! OH! OW! OUCH! YAAAA!" The Clown Prince yelled in agony, almost doing a parody of the sounds that would normally accompany the Joker being beat up by Batman, but this time with no end in sight to the agony he was under.

It was then that the lead squirrel of Gotham's crusade arrived on the scene.

With a frenzied "SQEEEEEEE" and running start, the squee translating out to "BANZAI", the grand inquisitor of the Nut God's Rodent Crusade sprinted up the pant leg of the Joker right before latching its teeth and claws onto the Joker's penis.

The charge of "Squeee/Banzai" being strangely fitting considering that Banzai means "Long Live The Emperor", and Xander was the ruler of an empire. However that isn't all that germane to the situation and was probably the last thing on The Joker's mind.

The Joker screamed out in ever increasing agony and was locked in pain, arms to the side as his head bent back not in the normal mad laughter, but due to the insane amount of pain he was under.

Through the tears and the punching himself in his own crotch, the Joker heard words that would forever haunt him for the rest of his very short life.

"I'll save you pudding!" Harley Quinzel called out to her lover.

The joker's eyes went large, as he blinked away the tears, just in time to see Harley Quinn complete her wind up with her extra-large wooden mallet and then swing at him in order to crush the squirrels attacking her psychotic lover.

"Et tu Harley?" The Clown Prince whispered in shock, right as Harley's mallet impacted him in the gut and groin; the size of the mallet leading to a sizable area of impact as the Joker's ability to father children went the way of the dodo… along with his pelvic bone which was instantly shattered.

The joker went flying off of the rooftop; dislodging a cascade of squeaking squirrels that flew out of his pants and jacket due to the force of the blow as he plummeted towards the unforgiving concrete below him.

The Joker impacted the ground with a loud "Thud" as if a large hallow melon had been thumped against very hard surface.

The Joker blinked, and gasped as he struggled to breathe as most of his ribs had been cracked by the fall, and it felt like both his arms and legs had been shattered. Still, he had come back from similar injuries given to him by The Batman, so it was through the pain that he began to laugh as he witnessed Harley peak out over the roofline at her severely injured love.

"Wa Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Cough Cough. Well played hero, well played, but I'll be back, I always am!" The Clown Prince laughed between hacking coughs as he looked up at the roofline above him. Even the image of Xander clouting Harley on the back of the head and knocking her out didn't stop The Joker's mad laughter. All of these heroes were the same. They beat him up, they put in him the hospital, they put him back in Arkham asylum, only for the Joker to break out and start the cycle again.

The Joker laughed, and laughed, and laughed some more, staring up at the Hero and Catwoman as the black wearing hero's surprisingly young face glared down at him.

"Squeak."

A tiny squeak right next to The Joker's head interrupted his taunting laughter and out of the corner of The Joker's eyes, he saw a single large sewer rat.

The rat looked angry. Very, very angry.

"Hero?" The Joker questioned and smiled hesitantly as he looked up at Xander, and Xander's silent hard gaze met that of the Joker's.

More movement appeared in the periphery of the Joker's vision as he was paralyzed and helpless on the hard concrete. It was then that the so called hero's voice echoed down to The Joker.

With the unconscious body of Harley Quinn draped over his shoulder, and Catwoman looking on from under Xander's arm where he was hugging Selena to him, Xander's words filtered down to The Joker.

"I Hate Clowns."

And then it was the rat's turn, and the screaming began again.

In the end, there were only a few scraps and shreds of bloody purple and clothing and green hair left behind as not even bones were left uneaten.

Still, you have to admit, The Joker's end was a bit humorous; or at least the rats agreed that he tasted kind of funny.

* * *

High above in space, a place where the vacuum assured that The Joker's death screams weren't heard even if he could have possibly been that loud, the Justice League's space station orbited.

Inside the room of the heroine named Hawkgirl, a golden statue of a hawk glowed slightly.

Upon returning from her date with Green Lantern, she touched her finger to the base of the statue, which caused the appearance of a holographic two dimensional video of a large muscular male Thanagarian of a similar age to herself. A large bustling bridge of a large spaceship was displayed in the background, other Thanagarians busy at the controls of their ship as a giant window looking out into space took up the far wall behind the winged man; other larger ships were visible in the window as the stars swept by quickly in the window.

The message was as simple as it was brief.

"We're almost there."

* * *

**AN: And there you go. Another long awaited and long chapter from Spark of Genius. I hope it was worth the wait, bigger and better things to come. I'm serious, I've been waiting for this next chapter for a long, long, long time. The end of this story is getting close, only a few more major plot points to go. I'm looking for insane technological ideas for weapons, so let me know if you have any. Let me know your thoughts about the chapter, and I bet you can guess what's coming next. ;-) Cheers!**


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